Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Most Embarrassing / Hilarious Moment Part 5

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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Most Embarrassing / Hilarious Moment Part 5


Yesterday we took a walk down laughter's memory lane on this blog.....The path led us to laughing and laughing and laughing......







Its been a while and i believe that there have been more hilarious and embarrassing moments - especially as we also have an influx of new blog visitors.

So,whats your most hilarious or most embarrassing moment since the last one you posted?


My youngest son told me ''Mama please stay away from men,dont get naked and let any man come near you or you will get pregnant and after 20months the baby will arrive.sssssh please dont tell anyone else,its a secret''


I was so shocked and actually went pink because his whispering voice was heard by the couple nearby.

I told him ''OMG i thought babies fall from heaven!''
He said ''Mama now you know,dont practice it''

I told him ''you too dont practice it''

''Mama i am too young to make babies!''...I fainted!

They teach them sex education at a certain level in primary school,just the surface details and then the I-too-know-kids explain further during break time.

Now if he's around and theres any couple kissing or holding hands around,he tells them how babies are made and warns them ''After 20 months you will have a baby,be careful''..LMAO!




223 comments:

  1. No new experience for me, I shared mine in the last post. Be back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't remember,lemme read odas!

      Delete
    2. I go American embassy when dem they check my purse na about 10 condoms I forget inside! See shame when the guy said madam it's not allowed! E be like make ground open!

      Delete
    3. His Oil Majesty12 May 2015 at 18:03

      I went to buy suya one night as an undergraduate in Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka. While I was waiting for my suya to get ready. I noticed that people were staring at my direction and almost immediately the aboki took to his heels. I turned back to find out while he was running only for me to see a stark naked woman standing just behind me. She was muttering some unexplainable things. I just shouted Jesus and took off!

      Delete
    4. I use to tell my friends then, that they must never try to owe sleep no matter what cos by the time sleep go disgrace them they won't like it

      So, last year I was in a car going to ajah and I sat beside one fine guy like that...all of a sudden the guy just tapped me and he was like 'sister you are sleeping...it's not good to be sleeping in a public transport especially if you are not going far like that'.......immediately I opened my eyes I told the guy 'and who told you I was sleeping'......this guy still insisted that sister but you were sleeping nah

      Mehn I changed it for the guy ooo cos I no wn gree say I dey sleep

      Pls and Pls if you feel like sleeping Pls do sleep because wen sleep go disgrace u ehn u won't like it at all

      Delete
    5. Omo anonymous on this o, let me remove blog f first, I dey come ...

      OK ayam back,.that's how I went for my friends grandmums burial in a village in asaba, about this time some years back(mango season)
      The village had so much mango and I can just plug with my hands while walking, after the burial. And that day I just finished downloading egusi soup, na so I chop plenty mango belle start to run me, I drunk salt and water, no way, dem find chemist buy med e stop small.... Time to leave I manage leave the village ooo, it started again when we where getting to my base o I held it till we got to the junction which I stopped I was sweating, I saw an eatry L. A kings I went to the rest room and knocked someone was there I waited the guy was still there
      I couldn't hold it anymore, I open pant shit for ground yakata, wear pant rushed outside boarded the nearest cab and zoomed off, turned and saw when security came and was shooting out his neck searching for me

      I can never forget that day o, till today I hate mangos, wheneveriI pass the eatry I just smile wicked smile.

      Make Una pardon the typo if any *shines teeth*

      Delete
    6. Hmmmm, I was 15 when mine happened.

      My aunt wey dey stay with us get one boyfriend wey get two big supermarkets. She dey always send me go meet am sometimes with written letter to collect small small chop chop, money and provisions for her. Naso this day land, Our landlord daughter birthday and I wan impress her by giving her the best gift. I no get money cos I no dey work.
      So, this plan kom brush through my mind. I know sey our landlord daughter like shortbread biscuit no be small. So I wan give her the best gift. (Person wey I wan give gift no be my mate oh. She senior me with 6yrs. I wan form big girl

      Naso I carry my two left legs waka go that my aunty boyfriend shop. I reach there tell am sey my aunty sey make him give me 1shortbread biscuit and birthday greetings card. The guy surprise cos my aunty for don mention am before that day. He sha give me. I happy well well, carry am go house go give the girl. The girl happy too. I don achieve my aim.

      My aunty kom go see her boyfriend for evening, the bf kom ask her who dey do birthday wey she send me kom carry biscuit and card for? My aunty shock, she sey which kind talk be that. The guy explain my kurukere waka for my aunty. My aunty just dey boil, she kom house kom ask me who send me? She kom carry me go her bf place. The guy kom ask me sey who send me. I no get wetin to talk. Shame catch me eh, e be me like sey make the ground open swallow me. I no fit look my aunty face, I no fit look her bf face and that her bf been like me well cos I sabi book well and coded waka as their middleman na. He gats to forgive me.
      Like sey na by force to give person birthday gift. Lmao

      Since that day, I no dey try impress person again oh before I land inside trouble.

      Abeg make una no vex if any typo dey

      Delete
    7. Anony 20:04 dats so unfair of u if dis ur tori is real! How can u do dat? U no knw na person go clean dat mess up? Better begin ask God 4 forgiveness cause am pretty sure d person dat cleaned dat mess up don curse u finish o

      Delete
    8. Diamonds are 4eva shush! Nobody cussed nobody
      Ogbatim tim, aproko

      Delete
  2. When I had this episode, it wasn't anywhere near funny but whenever I ruminate on it, i go just burst laugh like babe when em dey  tickle her yansh.

    It was the first time I was confronted with a live pussy.  Healthy one.  It was winking at me with slightly parted, pinky inner lips. I fearfully  touched as if it is a wound. Na so the vjay yawn , open mouth for me. Is it suppose to behave like this? So I rewarded my curiosity by asking

    Me : " e dey pain you? "
    She: "  why e go pain me? "
    Me:" As e be like sore, I think say e go pain you "
    She: (feigning  anger, she covered her oputamia) "lekwe nsogbu o,  make I cover my sore then".
    That was when it dawned on me that I could lose the opportunity if I don't stop showing stupid sympathy.

    Me: " Anwili m,  no  vex, I no know say na so e dey be ". 

     I did the North-South-East-West sign n sank in with caution. It was warm, huggy and so .... Moments later, I felt a heat coursing through the soles of my feet. Convulsion don dey hold me. It felt like I wanted to pee.  I tried to  pull out. She held my butt cheeks and was dragging me in. We were struggling. 

    Me: " Piss dey catch me, piss dey catch me"
    She: "No be piss"
    Me: "Na you get my body? "
    She: "Oya piss put"
    Me: "I no dey piss inside house" ( village restrooms are usually build away from the main house)
    She: "Them dey piss for this kind house..."

    That was when my water broke. It was the sweetest piss of my life as she had me buried in her 'house'  Then she started laughing. Don't ask if she was way older than me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahahahaha....
      Kwakwakwakwa...
      Ohh Kehinde!!!...
      Jezzz!!!..
      Iri egwu!!!...
      Lmao..

      Delete
    2. Kai! Fuck dey hungry me.

      Delete
    3. Bwahahahahahahaha..

      Kenny oooooo.....

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    4. Kehinde you are a naughty child lol. That was actually very funny. Made me laugh

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    5. K,thanks for giving me my first orgasmic laugh on this post

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    6. What did i just read? Really??? Rotfl!

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    7. Lmaoooooooooooooooooooo u don spoil nor b 2day! It's sooo obvious its one granny dat did dis 2 u! I must tell ya mama

      Delete
    8. Hahahahahahaha.... Anwuli m, you don kill me with laugh lwkmd

      Delete
    9. Buhahahahah, this is so stupid honestly. And my colleagues asked me why I was laughing like that, I just had to give one person to read out

      Delete
    10. Hahahahaha! Jeeez!! Kenny haff killed me lit lafter! Chai!
      This guy don cray aswear!
      Cnt stop laffing!!

      Delete
    11. Hahahahaha! Jeeez!! Kenny haff killed me lit lafter! Chai!
      This guy don cray aswear!
      Cnt stop laffing!!

      Delete
    12. Hahahhahahhahahhahahaha God ehhhhh@ pic dey catch me!, this ur post reminded me of an old jist. One man n him mama shia,,,,,,like say d man no too dey(correct) buh he is grown so him mama decided 2 get him a wife bc time dey pass( oge adiro) as per I need grandchild tinz. As nite reach nah, u no as 4 room n parlour village setting dey be na, so the mama just send d new wife tru d connection door make she go join husband in d other room, when d koko* start na, the man cum dey shout, mama ooooo! Mama oooo!, maamiri na agu muoo ooo!(Pic dey catch mi ooooo) and d mama replied, nyuwaya kaha ooooo!!(Pic am inside am oooo)! Hahhahahahahaha d ibo tongue I used, na my real village accent oooo!

      Delete
    13. Kai kehinde, this my blog boo don spoil finish oh

      Looking for another blog boo, apply if interested must be holier than Ake. Lol

      Delete
    14. Hahahahahahaha,Ake oooooooooo

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    15. Hahaha.."I wan piss o.lwkmd

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    16. LMAOOOOO!! OMG what on earth did I just read?! Hahahaahahahhaah

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    17. @kehinde never knew you were this raw...loooool

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    18. Mr K,your head no complete o.
      Gosh.....see how hard i laffed at that.

      Delete
    19. Hahahahaha. I have refused to laugh since but can't hold this one.
      Yee, my sides o.
      This is too funny abeg.
      OMG!

      Delete
    20. Hahahaha omg @ pix dey catch me

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    21. Kehinde, you are crazy o!!!! Bwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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    22. Hahahaha omg @ pix dey catch me

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    23. Hahahahhhahha.... this is so funny.. silly you kenny

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    24. Akestic!!!!
      I fear who no fear you.
      Lmao!

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    25. Really? And that was how your water broke. OMG this is naughtily hilarious.

      Delete
    26. Hahahahah....Lol@piss dey catch me...joker!

      Delete
    27. Lwkmd oooooo. Funniest post ever.

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Several years ago, i was writing my GCE somewhere on the Mainland. On this particular day we were writing Languages. Exam start, na so one yallo baby wey sit down for my front begin dey look back, look front apparently dubbing me executive style. Common hello-hi we no exchange oh! Na so sha dey write dey go. If i shade A she go shade A. If i shade B, she sef go shade B. Finally we hear "pens up". Everybody come submit. Na so the yallo baby turn look me come say "Nne something something something ". I looked at her confused "sorry what you saying? " She come say onye ibo? I said "no, I'm a yoruba girl". Omo see shout. The babe begin cry oh, come dey nack plenty ibo wey i no hear. People gather us, come dey console her. I no too blame her tho because i have been told too many times that i look ibo, maybe because I'm also yallo with sharp facial features but if she had spoken with me for a second before the paper... Me wey my yoruba sef na management from what i had picked up from here and there as i grew up in PH.

      Delete
  4. Hahahaha, grabs seat and eats popcorn. Waiting for comments. I no get anointing to type. When I gather anointing I will. Lol

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    Replies
    1. I just remember one incident dat happened som yrs back. Jehova witness pple normally com to preach to me, so ds particular day I wanted to play n didn't want them to take my time, so immediately I heard their voice outside I went to hide at the back of chair in my sitting room, so my little brother came to tell me dat they are outside so I jst told him to tell them dat I'm nt at home.
      Fast forward after some days they came back n I went outside to listen to them, so one of them said 'we were here last week Bt ur bro told us u weren't around '. I replied ' Oh u were! I didn't knw oo, wasn't at home that day' as I said that my Lil bro walked past n the preacher said 'u didn't tel ur sis we were here last Saturday ' and he faced me n said 'Sis I told u naa, that day they came that u went to hide at the back of chair, av u forgotten?.... I was so embarrassed and jst managed to mutter ' me? in my mind this small pikin jst disgrace me.. I was trying to explain to the preacher n my bro was arguing wt me thus embarrassing me more... I was 12 then and he was 5

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahahahaha at laulipop...
      This is the kind of thing my children would do...
      Lmao...

      Delete
    3. Hahahahahahahah laff wan kill me. Dt ur brother eeh

      Delete
  5. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
    .
    Talk about embarassment.... Lolx...
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

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  6. Lolz... Irene Bae. Please were you or are you Irene Bernards.. Cuzz Yhu so Damn Pweedi...
    My most embarassing moment. Loading...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lmao. Kids say the damnest things!

    @ post, i can't say. This blog is a comic relief on its own. Stella your BVs ehh.

    *spreads rug to read comments*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This why I Kip telling ladies watch what u carry in your bag..
      To the gist..

      I can carry rubbish in my bag...in those days,one day my bag fell n pple start laugh. From dirty I shadow box my aunt true away,to comb,corn n pea I intend to eat on my way back from class...as I didn't want to give me friends to straw.,nail,super glue-shoe back up..

      Gist two
      As I was entering school last week..I saw some cool guys coming n I forgot myself n fell...if u see the way dey laughed including others.. on top of it all my sandals cut....I was embarrassed

      Delete
    2. i was walking home from city centre when this birds were flying around as a badoo i just act like say i no dey fear, until one flew close to my face, choi i started running and screaming. That day my boyfriend hear am!! lol

      Delete
  8. Lmao. Kids say the damnest things!

    @ post, i can't say. This blog is a comic relief on its own. Stella your BVs ehh.

    *spreads rug to read comments*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IBU looks like Chizoba in that picture buuaahahahahaha.
      Chizoba welcome back ooh.

      Delete
  9. It has landed oooooo.
    #breakdancingfuriously

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was just reading others comment when I remember I have not said mine....

      The is this gal in school I no like. So that very day...I was to write test n she is doing the course to..as a good gal that I Am I don't count my menstrual cycle...(if it come I just say so it is another month) we went to the square (aka c-square) by 7:50 I started feeling different as I look around me...see pple. HOW I wan stand up commot go change my trouser, I no even know any body for this site.I go ask for pad.tears started gathering my eyes...
      The exam officer now came and ask is to move to the e-center see me dragging my shirt down..that gal way I hate begin toment me..anywhere I dey she day.as I enter bus reach my own site..I found out I was short of cash my jeans trouser was now shiny... I was so embarrassed.I for faint if person come tell me

      Delete
  10. Stella, U boy cld be a good actor u know? Lol

    ReplyDelete
  11. The first day i was claiming to know what hot dog is in class. And they patiently allowed me explain that hot dog is a specie of dogs mostly found in the US... I still can't get enough of that day. Cuzz i thought it was true. If anybody followed supernaturals guyz would know what i'm talking about.. Still not funny.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmmmm...
    I have loads of them but let me share this one that happened on Friday night in my hotel room...

    I ordered for a plate of veg salad and coke but it took them forever to get the food done and aguu Jim badly...
    So I decided to take a shower...after about 3 minute in the bath,I heard a knock on the door....I got out immediately,dry off to answer the door....
    As I opened the door,na so the towel I tied loosens and fell completely right in front of this guy that brought my food...
    You need to see the way he removed his face and say sorry ma...
    Mehn,I was embarrassed...the worst is that the guy no fine sef,I would have cornered him for a quickie...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very badt badt girl...

      Bwahahahahahahaha.

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    2. Lindaaaaa ooooo.
      l don laugh die o.

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    3. Are you sure you didn't drop the towel yourself? The guy was probably disappointed with what he saw.

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    4. Hahahaha my belle oh chei. Sorry linda

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    5. @ Linda Eze Loves Verach, why u no wear buba go open the door? I go tell your DH, pls beg me.

      Delete
  13. Nothing can be as hilarious as the sunday and Saturday laughs!
    But the one that crack me up was the TOXIC FRIENDS POST!

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  14. Hahahahahaha ur boy is very funny.

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  15. Hahahahahahahhaaa, baby ke! Nawa o, children don tear eyes finish o.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mine was when I was 15yrs and it was during christmas so we were going to my grand dad's hus to visit him meanwhile for my mind I must impress those my cousins,that time jeans trousers and jacket dey reign na so I go bring dis my jeans and d jacket comeout frm under my box wey I don dey save since january cos my elder sister send am come frm jand,I nor gree wear my own since I begin dey save am for christmas,everybody dn wear their own sef don fade na so I keep my famous jeans jacket and trouser under my box,so on dat faithful christmas day I go carry am come out hoping say na me go be best dressed,I wear am finish begin dey denge pose only for me to reach my grandpa hus as I dey climb d stairs na so I hear one noise under my yash,d jean don tear for my yansh side my pant come dey show everybdy begin dey laugh me,even my sister wey don beg to wear my famous jeans na so dem laugh me tire,as I say mk I remove d jean jacket take cover my yansh before I knw na d jeans jacket begin tear for d hand side chai I cry dat day,all my cousins begin dey laugh me,since dat day I nor dey keep any cloth again fr my box.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahagaga, it has expired lwkmd

      Delete
    2. Loooollllll

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    3. Made me remember this particular sunday many years ago.i must'v been 19 or 20.i no dey miss church back then.i must find somtin and wear to church sha.
      So on this sunday,all i could manage was a jean and shirt.middle of service this younger girl behind tapped me to say somthing abt my cloth.my heart skipped and i was seriously worried''since when do i see my red flag 2ice in a month''and evn if,why didt i feel anytin.i taught the girl wasnt ok bcos she was barely audible sef plus noise in church so i went tru with the service still feeling fly.but once grace was shared i carried my bag and headed for the bathroom,goodness me! What i saw in the mirrow ehn......i felt like going back to strangle that girl and every other person that just stared at me on my way to the bathroom with telling me nada.
      A cheek of my black ass was in full view as the jean tore.and i have since forever been a g-string babe.
      How i got home that day i cant explain.i almost died of shame.i sha got home amisdt fervently pulling down my ''not too short'' shirt and using handbag to cover a bit... . But pple were still staring but as a severe lagos babe with benin brain i just strong face till i got home and i couldnt help but break down and cry when i was finally in my room.
      Gosh!!! The shame

      Delete
    4. Hahahaa.....this got me laffing real hard.
      I pictured him falling off like ''mr bean''.
      Demonic sleep if you ask me

      He shouldnt have left o.shud have waited till end of service and see mog to cast and bind that yoke outta him

      Delete
    5. Hahaha of all places na yarsh side d jean start tearing

      Delete
  17. Lolz, Stella I Swr U Funny Die, U na The Female Version Of I Go Dye

    ReplyDelete
  18. LAFING

    Chinwe Uba

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  19. Lool...Stellz ur boy is so clever mehn!
    The most embarrassing moment I can remember was when i was very young
    I should be 14 or so
    I was walking on the street...Lo and behold a naked mad man was coming towards me
    Choi!!!...it was too late to cross to d other side of the road so I summoned courage and kept walking
    This mad man was holding a handfan,next thing he just hit d handfan on my head
    I didn't even react as if anything happened I kept walking
    People that saw d thing happened were just asking me
    Nne do u know him??,was he ur relative before he ran mad?
    Mehn...i was so embarrassed

    This should be fun,i'll be back for comments!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao......o my gash.....this cracked me up big time. I reenacted d scene in my mind. It's sooo funny

      Delete
    2. You just lock up as if it wasn't you he hit.....hahahahahahhaahh, i'm laughing so hard...
      Those people are wicked, is he your relative ke? Hahahahahah

      Delete
    3. This one really got me.it reminded me of one day I was in the market then there was this little girl hawking one mad man just waka carry leg hit the girl for center back yansh chei the girl look back come see say na mad man she just maintain carry her tray dey move ahead ahead.

      Delete
    4. olori western union12 May 2015 at 19:40

      Bwahahahahahahahaha OMG!!
      No be small is he your relative? Kikikikikikiki
      So funny

      Delete
    5. @ Ammie, that's all shades of embarrassment. Lol

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    6. Oh my daizzzzzz!this cracked me up and down big time.lmfaoooooooooooooooo

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    7. Hahahaha @ is he your relative? Do you know him before he ran mad?

      World people

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    8. Hahahhahahahhahhahhahahhahahhahhahhahahhahahhahhahahhaha
      Nne ndo ooo Hehehehhehe. Wicked ppl see questn

      Delete
    9. triple trouble13 May 2015 at 02:28

      I swear this is the funniest so far! LMAO

      Delete
  20. Another laughing galore
    Ready to fuel my laugh tank with laughter
    I will be right back

    ReplyDelete
  21. Mine was when I was 15yrs and it was during christmas so we were going to my grand dad's hus to visit him meanwhile na so I say for my mind I must impress those my cousins,that time jeans trousers and jacket dey reign na so I go bring dis my jeans and d jacket comeout frm under my box wey I don dey save since january cos my elder sister send am come frm jand,I nor gree wear my own since I begin dey save am for christmas,everybody dn wear their own sef don fade na so I keep my famous jeans jacket and trouser under my box,so on dat faithful christmas day I go carry am come out hoping say na me go be best dressed,I wear am finish begin dey denge pose only for me to reach my grandpa hus as I dey climb d stairs na so I hear one noise under my yash,d jean don tear for my yansh side my pant come dey show everybdy begin dey laugh me,even my sister wey don beg to wear my famous jeans na so dem laugh me tire,as I say mk I remove d jean jacket take cover my yansh before I knw na d jeans jacket begin tear for d hand side chai I cry dat day,all my cousins begin dey laugh me,since dat day I nor dey keep any cloth again fr my box.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Will just read comments....
    I don't any embarrassing moment...can't just remember.

    ReplyDelete
  23. @Stella your son is a comedian.

    Chinwe Uba

    ReplyDelete
  24. lol mine wasnt my embarrassing moment per se...it was my colleagues. I hope she doesnt read this blog. So one day we where both mandated by our boss to go and inspect one of our offices downtown. You need to see us that day, we wore our best dresses and set out on the trip. On getting there, we strolled in feeling very important and everyone was scurrying about to make sure things where in order. After we finished inspection, with our heads held high and feeling like some important dignitaries, we set out to go...on getting to the staircase, i noticed it was steep so i took my time but my colleague didnt take note of the steep stair case as she elegantly catwalked down, next thing i heard was kparakattaaattatataaa, she was face flat on the ground. I tried so hard not to laugh, people gathered to pick her up but she rebuffed them, dusted her skirts and catwalked out of the office. All the while i was holding serious laughter inside me. I just knew that story would be told in that office 100 years to come.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The very first week I resumed work in my formal office I was stepping doing fine girl,when something tripped me and I landed on the floor. Everybody started laughing. I jumped up with shame. My friends find every opportunity to remind me when they see me stepping. Hahahhaahhahaaaaaa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank u @Nmasinachi. I wonder why people use formal in place of former. Its pathetic

      Delete
    2. I wonder why people use its instead of it's. It's pathetic. *rme*

      You can make your point without being condescending.

      Delete
  26. don't think I have any






    #GODWIN™

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  27. your pikin be like me o stella *smile* but the diff na be say him never play daddy and mummy play







    #GODWIN™

    ReplyDelete
  28. Lol @ur story. Mine was when I first came to Germany, I didn't know we pay for the bus ride as soon as we enter and also the bus doesn't stop anywhere u want just like in Nigeria. So I entered the bus and didn't pay then I went with the bus to its last bus stop which was so far from my house, the driver noticed me and asked me where I was headed seeing as the bus had stopped at the last bus stop and he was taking his 15minutes break. See me looking so confused and couldn't explain because my Deutsch was just too poor,the look he gave me. Ehnnnn like hmmmmm all this local black people, he later took me to the bus stop near my house ad then to pour salt on injury I brought out my money to pay, he just waved me off and people in the bus were just looking at me like hmmmmm bush Africans. My husband's laughter was epic and annoying when I got home and told him what happened.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Boring story

      Delete
    2. Anon 17:07 its not boring jor!

      Hahahahahaaa

      Delete
    3. U can only find this boring if u've never lived outside of naija....i can relate to her/his story so it's funny

      Delete
  29. Lol @ur story. Mine was when I first came to Germany, I didn't know we pay for the bus ride as soon as we enter and also the bus doesn't stop anywhere u want just like in Nigeria. So I entered the bus and didn't pay then I went with the bus to its last bus stop which was so far from my house, the driver noticed me and asked me where I was headed seeing as the bus had stopped at the last bus stop and he was taking his 15minutes break. See me looking so confused and couldn't explain because my Deutsch was just too poor,the look he gave me. Ehnnnn like hmmmmm all this local black people, he later took me to the bus stop near my house ad then to pour salt on injury I brought out my money to pay, he just waved me off and people in the bus were just looking at me like hmmmmm bush Africans. My husband's laughter was epic and annoying when I got home and told him what happened.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Cho


    HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHA @ Kehinde



    XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can only remember this one that happened last week tuesday.
      I alighted from a cab and crossed to the other side of the road..at the other side was a small kid of abt 6yrs tryn to cross so I decided to cross her, held her hand and was waiting,,, next thing I saw was a mad man walking close to us... as I say make I shift the mad man still came close.... omo na so I say make I turn back or even run away but before I could decide the man moved away but not without coming so close to me while rubbing his *di**k on his hand...!!!hian!!!.. I immigration faites-y crossed the kid and laughed away to the other side cus it's a dualized road...
      N'a so one guy man whispered behind me.."babe that mad man sure likes you!!! (Obara jesus!!!).. I just smiled and kept walking...

      Delete
  31. Hahhahahhahahahahah@ The Queen. Are you sure you were not expecting a particular fine boy waiter?


    XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can famz sha.

      Delete
    2. Ewu Ewu Ewu
      Sense you no get, onyara street fighter.

      Delete
    3. Jojo,you are a fool and a bigger one at that...
      Idiot!!!...

      Delete
  32. This happened to my sister. She wore this very tight trouser and green top feeling all sexy and going to work. When she came down from the taxi one guy was just trying to get her attention but she didn't answer because she felt he wanted to toast' her. So she walked for about 10 minutes to the bus stop and she was wondering why people were staring at her so much, she just shrugged it off and kept stepping. Lo and behold as she was struggling with other passengers to enter the bus,the guy she was forming for just tapped her and said' sister ur trouser don tear for nyash" she shouted Ye! Came down and used her head tie to cover her ass. The worst part was that she wore green pant and her top didn't cover her trouser at all. I laughed as if I will die when she gave us the gist at home

    ReplyDelete
  33. as person wey dey luk for job oooo,na im i give papa neighbour my cv...lukily after some month papa neighbour sent an invitee to me for an interview,call me join to ensure i saw it and full details. abt an hour later i stroll go outside sitdown with my friend wey get shop,only for mama neighbour(and mama neighbour na moblie AIT NEWS) to pass us,she don almost reach corner come shout call my friend,ask wether my mama dey house,me wey get mama,she no ask me oooo(and am sure she knows am d one d msg is meant for),and i didnt even know say na our house she dey go...i even dey ask my friend wetin she want,na my friend tell me say na my mama she dey ask for...only to ask my mama later wetin mama neighbour(moblie AIT news) dey luk for... papa neighbour call mama neighbour wey dey 3 house away make she go tell my mama say her pikin get interview.chai papa neighbour for kukuma go NTA go inform dem..(After he had called me oooo) and to think mama neigbour didnt come back after d msg..am sure na straight to headquaters(under the tree).am sure head quaters go down transmit information all over..i still feel embarrassed becos papa neighbour fall my hand,must d neigbourhood knw say u want help,interview wey i nvr do self...chai chai chai sdklastborn

    ReplyDelete
  34. My most embarrassing moment has to be the day my parents caught me in the bq of our rented apartment then back when I was still quite small. The apartment was for a neighbour and his friend who happened to be my bf then (useless guy, if I must add). I was in ss3 while he was in his year 2. We were just playing oh on one newyear day like dat, around midnight. When my parents started looking for me, I didn't know how to come out of the house so I just hid behind d door. They knocked and asked d guy if I was there, he said no and they left. The plan was for the search to die down and I'd jejely come out and tell them I was upstairs and didnt know they were looking for me. Only for one of my neighbours(God rest her soul) to now tell my mum that she should go check in that bq that she saw me when I entered there (it was my friend, also a neighbour that later told me). My mum just barged in after he opened d door and found me hiding behind d door, I have never been so embarrassed in my life as I felt that day. She just dragged me out and gave the guy a really hot slap, that he's trying to spoil her innocent young daughter. The luck I had that day was that it was a new year and my parents have dis policy of not beating anyone of us on our bdays, Christmas or on new years. Whenever I remember that day, Chai!!! The kain laff I dey laff myself ehn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not funny

      Delete
    2. Eka eka,chopping amu since childhood.....eka joy u must enjoy me

      Delete
    3. Bitchplis, I wasn't chopping amu then oh, I was still a V back then

      Delete
    4. @ Eka Joy, why you no vanish?

      Delete
  35. chia...... stells ur son is so funny , Ake pls no kill me with laughter o, ammie urnstory is so funnny too. i will be back with mine.

    ReplyDelete
  36. During my days as a single, living in Ago-Okota, I used to enter BRT from Mile2 to TBS when going to work. That faithful day, after a long queue i entered about d 4th bus only for me to noticed that i was putting on a leg of shoe and a leg of slippers. Then bus was almost at d last bus stop(TBS). I had no option than to continued my journey to the office but i tried to avoid that route for some days out of shame. Thank God i had another pairs of shoe in d office.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Kehinde onye aruru ala.

    hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  38. Can't remember one for now but I remember the one my elder bro told me. He said he went to deeper life church as a new member and was made to sit in front. During sermon, he started dozing off and an usher kept touching him not to sleep in church. After a moment, he found himself in front, on the floor (sleep don fall am down). He immediately stood up, took his bible and jotter and walked out feeling so embarrassed. Though no one laughed cos our deeper brethren dey understanding. That was the last time he worshiped there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't know why I find this your story extremely funny...lmao. I can imagine how embarrassed he was..chaii.

      Delete
    2. I just pictured him slowly falling over on the floor, I can't stop laughing.

      Delete
    3. He fell down in church cos of sleep?hahahahahahahahahaahahaah OMG

      Delete
    4. Lol.....your brother fell under the sleep anointing afterall.dem warn am, him no hear.
      www.onometalkam.com

      Delete
    5. Buhahahahaha! OMG!! I'm reading this while on a dinner date. I laughed so hard my date was eager to know wats up. I had to narrate to him and we were laughing hard in the hotel like two mad ppl. My belly ooo!

      Delete
    6. Good heavens Hahahahah!what an embarrassment..all eyes must have been on him when he fell, what kind of evil spirit was that?nd in church too for that matter !omg !!laff wan tear my belle o

      Delete
    7. This left me in stitches.
      LOOOOOOOL

      Delete
    8. This got me hard!..lmao

      Delete
    9. triple trouble13 May 2015 at 02:37

      Looool 2nd best!

      Delete
  39. My most embarrassing moment happened just yesterday. DH traveled and on Sunday night while chatting and getting naughty, i took pics of my boobs and sent to him. Fast forward to Monday morning. I got some information from my Mechanic and wanted to send the information to DH. The mechanic was standing beside me and giving me the information. so i grabbed my phone to send the information to DH on WhatsApp. As soon as i opened our chat page my boobs were staring right at me on my phone screen. I used my corner eye to look at the Mechanic while i try to get out of the page. the yeye boy no remove eye for my phone till i shouted at him. I was so embarrassed and wished the ground would open up and swallow me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looollllllllll,na so God dey take catch person

      Delete
    2. triple trouble13 May 2015 at 02:38

      Looooooooooooooooool 3rd best!!!

      Delete
  40. This beautiful day I went swimming with my friends as i had been talking swimming lessons for about two weeks. On getting to koko dome I changed into my swim suit showered ready to show off my small swimming skills at that time I could swim but I couldn't float.... na so one dude wey wan toast me encourage me to swim to 14ft,meanwhile I knew I could do it. So, I decided to, I got halfway and I was tired and the unimaginable happened I started drowning at 12 ft, while I was struggling to survive I could hear my friend laughing up there hahahahahahaha everybody see my friend drowning. Well, my toaster saved my life.... Thank God for the rain everybody waiting to see my face couldn't. I hurriedly left the pool and was quite embarrassed cos few people still recognised and asked me how I while I was drowning. Gosh it is an experience I can't forget in a hurry(for those that will ask). Thank God for Live.

    ReplyDelete
  41. My sister told me dis Jist abt what my lil niece did years back to her n she felt so embrassed. Those days, she always play a fast one @ her hubby, as in stealling some change his trouser whenever he returns from business/work cuss the man stingy no be here. So on a fateful evening she was as usual selecting some notes frm his trouser, not knowing that my lil niece followed her n was watching in silience. Immidiately she finished her pick pocket, she heard a tiny voice from behind saying; I will tell daddy! ,,,,,,n she felt so embrassed.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Sorry de lie@chigo . And ur not funny .

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sometimes this year I went to the airport I wanted to do something 2 minutes later I heard a strange noise then came this very loud sound i started shouting bomb! bomb! Every body go outside then an old man came downstairs and told us to go out i grabbed my bag and almost fell sef! Shoes were scattered all over, There was an elderly woman who fell while running she kept shouting help me I can't run my legs are weak, Nobody answered her (Mamma who go help you) as I was running I kept shouting bomb! When I got outside the gate I kept quiet then the woman that fell took over she started shouting bomb, then one guy faced and told her to shut up that it wasn't bomb bur it was rather a petrol tanker that almost caught fire,( immediately my eyes opened I felt stupid ) so they had to sound the alarm do that people can be safe.
    The woman got angry that she wasn't the one who raised the bomb issue they almost beat themselves sef, then they started who raised the bomb scarce na so I keep quiet till they settled mamma and guy. We were told to come back into the building I startedlaughing they kept asking me why I was laughing I couldn't talk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please it's enough my ribs are hurting.......Still laughing. You go fear bomb no lol.

      Delete
    2. My belle oooooo.....I laughed with a teary eyes....so hilarious.... I just imagined the scene in my head.. I can imagine your sorry face.....

      Delete
    3. I laughed so hard, I had to run to the toilet to wee and with teary eyes. The fear of bomb. Chaiii

      Delete
    4. My sister am sure if I had confessed they would have beaten me up!
      Each time I remember I start laughing! My mum calls me Bombsometimes. lol

      Delete
  44. Well..... mine was while I was stayin with my cousin and her husband.Each time I use d loo(poopin tins) I always drag one bucket on the floor to subdue d poopin sounds cos d house is so quiet dat no sound goes unheard.I continued dis way,unknown to me,my cousin's hubby had already decoded.One day,after poopin session,I came out only to see him laughin with his wife.me,wanderin wats funny,my cousin went out came back with a bucket and was dragging it on d ground like I used to do in d toilet.and was like nawao! Naso my shit sound serious.dat she never knew why she kips hearin d sound each tyme I go inside,till her husband expLained.Her husband was just there draggin d bucket and laughin.

    ReplyDelete
  45. OK. I remember one.. I was going to visit my boyfriend then .. we haven't seen in 2 years as I travelled. He told all his friends about me and they were all in d house waiting for my arrival. I dropped in front of his gate, pressed the bell only for me to notice that the sole of my beautiful Steve madden extremely high heel wedge sandals had pulled out!! Lord!! (probably expired) I felt an urgent urge to pee OR should I run? I think I should disappear! I looked left, right and centre and didn't know what to do.. that was when I heard footsteps coming forward, to obviously open d gate. I quickly hid by d side of the fence, while they searched for the person in vain. I was sweating like a Christmas chicken lol. God saved me: just at d moment, a bike pulled out from no where. I jumped in and said 'oga abeg take me to any aboki my shoe don spoil' lol

    I later got back and formed nothing happened

    Only for someone in d house to say they saw me on okada fleeing lol.

    I just smiled and changed d topic lol

    Lesson: never keep shoes too long for a 'special occasion' except u up for embarrassment

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmaoooo. This was how I wore a particular new shoe to a friend's wedding...
      Immediately it was time for church, I and some friends in d same hotel room finished dressing.. you know that kind of happy excitement of "it's my friends big day"". As I say make I walk round the room dey wait for the rest.. shoe pulled... very very embarrassing..
      Thank God one of my friends had another extra pair.... I wear 42 while she wears 41.. I didn't even mind the pain.. Chaiii!!! each time I watch the pics I fell off the chair....

      Delete
  46. Omg laugh wan kill me! I remember one of my elder sister friend very fine ogoni babe na she cum nak us tori. She wear one very tight jean commot and she no wear pant she waka go mile one market to buy okrika clothes as aunty dey bend down pick clothes she noticed some guys just dey shout choi d thing big ooooo not knowing it was her clitoris dey wer refering to
    Aunty trouser don tear from the front to the back she was so carried away selecting the Okirika clothes until one aged woman called her attention to it,e do her like say make she die that day.from dat day she repented from bin pantless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahahahahaha

      Rolling on the floor. Hahahahahahaha.

      My belle ohhhhhhh. Jeez this killed it for me.

      Delete
  47. LMAOOO!! Such funny stories.

    I remember when I was young, we went to South Africa for Christmas and my mum went somewhere and told me not to wear my Christmas clothes until she came back... She left so my friend and I decide to wear our Christmas clothes (they came to visit us)... After that we went to play in a mud pool with our Christmas clothes....after we realised what we did, we came up with a fabricated story of dogs chasing us and falling inside the mud pool. When our mums saw us, trouble was unleashed. before we could finish lying, our mums beat us so much.. Then After they swapped so my friend's mum was now beating me and my mum was beating my friend. After my skin was so red and you could see all my green veins in my arms.. I never cried so much... I even packed an overnight bag to run away. Very embarrassing

    ReplyDelete
  48. Back in those Uni days, I had gone to relax my hair, 1 had this stubborn hair that will stand erect after retouch, so this particular time I bought a new relaxer that came out newly for my hair. Got to the salon and the woman wey sabi my hair well well say as I don buy that relaxer na him be say she go subdue my hair today today, my people as the woman dey minister the relaxer for my hair na so she go dey comb, brush even twist all join . To cut the story short by the time she come dey ready to wash the hair na so my hair dey fall comot for hin hand. Na so dey hair fall reach sotay she come find me headtie to use go back to barber shop for scrapping. People of God. The next day na exam, how me go take do, na hin i carry my leg waka go find wig t use take enter school. For morning i don balance my mama dash me wig for my gorimapa head come climb okada say make i go school, the man come dey speed dey go hahaha na so my wig fly comot for my head , e no land for road oo na so e enter gutter. Kai we come reverse to go pick wig , I come see where d wig enter I no fit put hand (it was rainy season with mud and dirts allover). Meanwhile I had morning paper and time was not on my side , na so I carry my gorimapa head enter school . From the gate na so people the smile dey go, I come bone dey go as I enter my class na so laugh come hook everybody sotey even the lecturer come dey join, if you look my face , look my head u no laugh na hin be something dey hook you for body. Thank God for then if na now na so my picture for enter internet .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ojihbijigbi!!!! O don laff piss for body oo

      Delete
  49. still thinking....will comment later

    ReplyDelete
  50. mine happened when i got my recent job. My Boss was going my way that faithful day so he decided to gave me a ride to AYA, Abuja, as soon as i crossed the road just to step into the roundabout, i missed my step. Iye!, i found myself on the ground with all the shakara wey i dey do, hmmm i refused to get up o. i con dey form like person wey get spiritual attack. l lie there for about 3 minutes before people come dey ask me what is the problem. Na i say, my tummy, my tummy con dey use am dey sing. some say na spiritual attack, some say other things but they later ask me to dey call Blood of Jesus, na so i begin the sing Blood of Jesus (na only me know weytin dey do me o)until they help get cab, con see embarrassment in an open field. since dat day, i never drop for AYA o. Infact, u need to hear this story directly from me.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Mine was at my church's wed service/love feast. I came in pretty late. People were seated while some (i guess d ushers) were standing. The food table was well arranged, with diff sizes of dishes n napkins well stacked, i no knw whr d juju come enter my body give me liver to go n serve myself. Apparently I thot it was a buffet n others had served themselves (meanwhile sevice was still on) so I carried my 2 left legs to d table, picked up a medium sized plate *was forming moderate tinz* den I was now forming hmm wat do i start with. Na so d ushers jst dey look me, den some pretty ladies came n told me nicely that it wasnt time yet and dey wud call everyone wen it was time. Then it dawned on me that the food hadn't been touched at all. Mehn, I wished at dat moment dat I could disappear coz I was highly embarrassed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha e go do u like say make ground open swallow u chaii,no b small juju b dt oh babe u cracked me up aswear

      Delete
    2. Buhahahahahahahahaha. I can only imagine d look on ur face

      Delete
  52. My most embarrassing moments!The first one I'm gonna share is I was walking on the street on this faithful morning to get myself some stuffs.i carried my things on one hand and I was cat walking home jejely.I used to wear micro mini skirts den as I was still in school.i was putting on ds very red short skirt which is still fresh in my memory after 7 years.i noticed a man was behind me but I never knew he was not mentally balanced.Before I sad jack Robinson ds mad man dipped his hand under my skirt nd directly into my vagina as I was wearing no pant.i was highly embarassed,i screamed and ran away.people came to my aid nd told me d man was insane Dat he had been walking behind me.i couldn't sleep.d memories kept coming back for months.my friend laughed nd rolled on d floor.Another one I remember is when I was a teenager nd wanted to buy som suya at night,a mad man hugged me from behind touching bobbies.shameful init?and as I was cat walking in a party all eyes on me I missed my steps fell on d server carrying a tray of food and we landed on d floor.com and see som jealous ladies abusing me Dat my heels Wr too high.but I never I knew I ad approached a staircase nacho I tumble down.anoda one is my dad's driver opening d bathroom door on me while I was taking a shower.i almost fainted and he apologised.wat got me crazy is d guy na graduate nd handsome as well.i felt I Ws finisged.ds guy Don see me finish.lolz...Jummy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao
      But babes,this one wey mad man dey totori you like Mtn so....hmmmm
      Sotey that one dip hand inside tohtoh!
      Haaaaa

      Delete
  53. I can only remember this one that happened last week tuesday.
    I alighted from a cab and crossed to the other side of the road..at the other side was a small kid of abt 6yrs tryn to cross so I decided to cross her, held her hand and was waiting,,, next thing I saw was a mad man walking close to us... as I say make I shift the mad man still came close.... omo na so I say make I turn back or even run away but before I could decide the man moved away but not without coming so close to me while rubbing his *di**k on his hand...!!!hian!!!.. I immigration faites-y crossed the kid and laughed away to the other side cus it's a dualized road...
    N'a so one guy man whispered behind me.."babe that mad man sure likes you!!! (Obara jesus!!!).. I just smiled and kept walking...

    ReplyDelete
  54. My own most embarrassing story no be here ooo. It happened last year.. That's how my boo boo decided to take me out for birthday treats. So we decided to 'go cart' at get arena and also have dinner, see movies and all.. He kuku know say I no dey drive. And I told him i can't do that stuff and he was like, see that 5 years old boy, can he drive a car? No Abi, but he can drive a cart.. So it's not hard jor, u can do it. I felt a bit uncomfortable but I said to myself, abeg, there is no harm in trying. Omo, na so me sef dey form first timer. They showed me Lil directions like the brake, accelerator. Omo I fall my hand no be small.. Immediately I entered like this, na so I press accelerator without using my steering, I first jammed the instructor, break him leg. By then, my bf had left in his own cart, so he didn't see that part. I apologized and decided to continue my race. As I entered field like this, na so I accelerate again go scatter tyres. Everyone was watching. Even those waiting for their turns and all.. Omo shame hold me no be small. And they said I must finish the rounds or so, I couldn't even complete one round without having accident to the extent that I almost jammed my own bf face to face as he was driving towards me. That day it wasn't funny. Omo, after my last accident on d field, I told them ooo, before he kill me, they should take me out, that I wasnt interested again in d race. I was people laughing and all. I just bone face like say nothing happened... It was damn embarrassing. In fact I and my bf broke up that same month and my instinct tells me that could have been part of the reason.. So pls girls, if u know say u be a ajepako like me, always maintain your lane ooo before u disgrace yourself like me . pls ignore all gbaguans If any, I didn't read what I typed again and besides, understanding is needed. Ms Bee

    ReplyDelete
  55. For dose who know Alaba intl market well.... hmnn!! Dat was aw one bad aftn oo I wanted to get some electronics for skl was in 200l den, dat tym dose pants dey tie by both sides were reigning den, I wore dis pant n I was on my period. ....Jst after putting d fairly used cd player on my head I had barely taken 10 steps na so my pant n pad fall down.it was one side dt got loosened ,to drop cd player I no fit to carry my pant wit blood I no fit....igbo boys jst dey laff me. Shame hold me but I gat no choice I drop d cd player carry my pant n moved on...after all dem no Sabi me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeeeee. Mogbe! I don die. See embarrassment. Lol @ after all dem no sabi me.

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha my belle oh. Stella pls hold me.

      Delete
    3. triple trouble13 May 2015 at 02:59

      Ahhhhhh *faints* this has happened to my friend b4

      Delete
  56. I remember when I was in high school, SS2 precisely, I was in the dorm, one day both juniors and seniors where in front of the dinning hall waiting to enter the hall and get served. Don't know what happened that I started running, while running I was farting, it was so loud that everybody starting laughing. I was so embarrassed that I didn't return for dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  57. BV HAD PROBLEM POSTING SO SENT IT TO ME INBOX.


    PART 1



    My most embarrassing/hilarious.
    moment was one I can't forget o.

    I was still serving in Gombe state then but traveled to the village to see my siblings because it wasn't long we lost our parents, so I had to come home and check on them from time to time to know how they are faring. On the day I was supposed to travel back I now decided to call my immediate elder sister who is married but stays on another village, just to tell her I was home but due to time I won't be able to see her before going back again. On calling her she told me she is not even in the her husband's village sef, that she's in the market in the main town where I came to board a direct vehicle to Jos before heading to Gombe(since there are no direct vehicle from there to Gombe state).
    I was happy that at least I would get to see her before I leave, I ask her where she is and she told me she is in the major section where they sell palm oil in drums, keg, and basins.
    Na so I carry my bag enter bike go meet my sister o.
    On getting to where she is after much pleasantries I asked her what she was doing there, she told me that she came to sell some drums of Palm oil which she bought at a cheaper rate a long time ago and now that the price has increased she wants to sell them. I was impressed that she was doing such business.
    She now asked me to please give her some minutes to finish negotiations with the buyers.
    My sister now asked one of the women who sells the oil in retail price to pls allow me to sit beside her on her bench and the woman gladly did.
    While sitting on the bench, right in front of me were big basins of palm oil on display for buyers to check out the different qualities before deciding which one to buy, me too come turn to Palm oil seller o, just to impress the woman that shared her seat with me.
    Na there I siddon dey wait for my sister o, not up to five minutes after I siddon, I just hear shouts for my back, I come turn say make I know wetin dey make people shout, the next thing I saw people were running towards where I was sitting, as I say make me ma stand up make I join the race na him somebody from behind me just run push me straight into the Basin of red oil,both me and the oil troway for ground. As at this time, people were Still running past me ooo, even my sister wey I find come market and the owner of the oil I was sitting with sef don run go.
    As I fall inside the oil come see say people still dey run past me, I come think am "what if whatever is chasing people in this market and heading towards my direction come meet me here harm me nko? " Na him I say make I stand up from the oil run again o, as I just dey stand make I run(because of the slippery nature of red oil,) na so my feet slide fiam land me inside other Basins of oil, this time around na two Basin of oil I troway. Na there I give up! Come tell myself say anything wey dey come make e come come meet me inside this oil o, because to stand up sef come dey very slippery.
    I siddon there inside oil with fear sotay people run pass me finish come dey return back, na that time my sister come realize say her sister no dey with am, as people dey pass go back to where they were running from na so dem dey look me dey talk eyah sorry o, eyah sorry o, without even making efforts to help me stand on my feet from the oil o, chai see shame!
    I come ask them wetin even cause the race? All of them said they don't know o, that they just saw people running and decided to run too... Chai, I felt like slapping all of them, just because people were running in a market they all decided to run and then push me inside oil????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella ohhhh e do I one laugh faint here. Jeez

      Delete
    2. God ooooooo
      Rotflmao
      I don laugh catch headache...
      I can imagine the senario
      This is my best so far .
      Oil baby,pele.
      Lol

      Delete
    3. Hahhahahahahahahahahah!!!!! My belle o....my head ooooo!!!! I can't laugh anymore cos my belle dey pain me if I laugh more. Dis story na d real deal. Na devil bring u come market dat day o

      Delete

  58. PART 2


    It was while I was still very vexed inside that oil na him my sister show, na she come help me with two other people help me stand up comot from inside the oil. I was all drenched in red oil from head to toe inside market! Even weavon wey dey my head sef dey soaked.
    Mind you, I was wearing iro and buba and a short nika underneath.

    NOTE: All these while, The owner of all the oil wey I fall inside troway never come o.. Hmmmm.

    My dear, I come dey wonder how I go take comot from inside the market and then find a place to baff and change. Well, one of the old women there now offered me one of her wrapper, na inside market there I stand pull my iro, but couldn't pull my buba as na only bra I wear and all eyes were on me especially that of all the wheel barrow pushers and agberos wey don set to look bobbi.
    I just tie the wrapper like dt onto the oil stain buba, find one small cloth clean my face make I go find Okada wey go carry me go one of our relation house for that town.

    To Waka from that point where they sell red oil reach road na him be the height of the embarrassment, i carry my oil stained bag for one hand dey waka, na so people dey look me like say I be mad woman, some dey even give way sef make I no carry craze jam them.


    On top this walk if shame wey I dey waka dey go make I go find okada na him one of my slippers come cut join.... Choii!!!
    Na there tears full my eyes because as people dey look me so to bend down pick my cut slippers eh, the shame was raised to power infinity!!!!
    Toh, how I go do, I can't leave the slippers there, can I? I gat to bend down and pick it up. Na so I pick slippers for one hand and travelling bag for the other hand walk the remaining walk of shame reach road.
    As I reach road to get okada na another story, every okada wey I stop go look me from head to toe like mad woman, pass. I no blame them o, because I really looked like a freshly mad woman that day. I stopped eight okada until the ninth one was an old man, as I stop the baba wey the baba look me finish won move na him I shout, "baba please I'm not mad, na person push me inside red oil abeg, any amount you want to take I will pay please". The baba look me well well again to be sure am not really mad and asked where I am going (the first okada man to ever ask me where I was going since I have been standing there), I told him and even told him I will pay five hundred naira (for a fare of 70 naira).
    Na so baba carry me I come dey narrate my ordeal to am o, the baba laugh nearly fall comot from bike.
    As I reach our relation house pay baba him money I just knock, no wait for response sef before I enter house, the kids ran towards me to hug me I just screamed "stop there, don't come close". As I dey greet na so I dey waka pass dem go bathroom, they were all staring at me, I just tell them say I go explain when I am out of the bathroom.
    My dear no baffing soap gree foam for my body o, Na ariel detergent powder I soak for bucket carry baff that day. I spent close to two hours dey baff. It was when I came out that I explained to them what happened to me, they were all laughing and rolling on the floor eh. Na that time my sister come call me from market say the owner of the oil don come back from her race dey parra say I must pay her for her oil wey I troway. My sister just paid the woman jejely to avoid wahala from her sale before she come meet me for where I dey.
    Na so I cancel my journey back to Gombe till the next day o. When I arrived Gombe my Zonal Inspector said he will punish my for not resuming to duty as expected, as I begin tell the man wetin happen to me eh, the man laugh so tay cough catch am, na so ZI take forgive me o.
    Stella, I can never ever forget that day o, since then till date, any market wey I go and I see bowl of red oil, na so I dey increase my speed comot from that side oooooooo.

    Sorry for the long epistle jare.

    Aunty Lizzy

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    Replies
    1. Chai!!! @aunt Lizzy, see as u wan take laff finish person!!! I imagined the entire stuff

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    2. Lol....can't stop laughing. This story tops it all mahn. Classic. Lmao. I had to share your story with a friend and the laugh no be here. You tried oo.

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    3. Lmao I laughed till I had chest pain

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    4. Lmao
      Aunty Lizzy pele

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    5. triple trouble13 May 2015 at 02:57

      Epistle ke? I was laughing and smiling all through hahahahahahahahahahahahaha Bestest!!!!

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    6. Aunty Lizzy, you deserve an award for this story. I am rolling on the floor here. OMG. I imagined every aspect of this story. Thx for the gist.

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    7. Hahaha,lmao... Reading this in the middle of the night and laughing alone, Kai, I just kept playing it over on my head. DH just dey shake head coz he knows am reading Sdk.... Hahaha

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  59. Been trying to remember if iv had any embarrassing moment and yep, I finally remember.
    It happened when I was in uni. It was the last day of my 'period' and I felt it wasn't going to be much so I decided not to pay much attention to it. On that day, I had a lecture and as usual now, as a Nigerian babe in a Ghanaian school (I was actually the only Nigerian in my class) I gast represent. Na so I knack white on white. I was feeling so fly I made sure the whole hostel saw me leaving. Na so I reach class siddon for front seat. During the lecture I felt some weird movement down there but I ignored it cos it was the last day and I kuku wasn't bare. My people, I should have known the devil was trying to prep me for embarrassment coming up. After the lecture, I stood up still feeling my outfit and I catwalked' out of the class. I sha noticed people staring at me but I stupidly felt it was my white that was attracting them..lol. Na so one of my classmates (one silly billy like that) told one lady to tell me that I was stained. Chaiii!!! When she told me, I wanted to pass out. I was sooooo upset at the situation that I wished I could do 'magic magic' and disappear from that place. I sha gather strength enter the toilet that was close to me. Hmmm, if you see the map ehn, the Nigerian map aint got nothing on it. I nearly cried sef. I just had to gather the remaining courage left in me, strapped my bag to the exact place the stain was, boned my face and stopped the first taxi I saw. As soon as I got to the hostel like this, I broke down with a heavy sigh. I just went to clean up and went to bed to get myself to stop thinking about what I had gone through.

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  60. This oil saga na de bomb, the Queen Mother of all !
    Love all the hilarious stories, I hail thee all, thanks for making mai night.
    @ Divinity guess you are from Aguata in Anambra the town start with U....
    Kehinde chai ....o ti ba je .....lol

    GOOD NIGHT to thee all ! !

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  61. Hmmmmm na so I follow one of ♏Ɣ friend go one retreat oº°˚˚˚° I dey jss one dat tym as we enter youth camp na so I see one guy with dread locks on his head,immediately ♏Ɣ friend tell me say na beautiful Nubia as I stupid reach I no knw beautiful Nubia na so I believe ♏Ɣ friend con tell her say I wan go greet am,as I dey go ♏Ɣ friend nor even laugh I reach d guy place ♏Ɣ friend begin dey laugh,I no mind I con ask d guy say him b beautiful Nubia? Con see laugh frm d guy's friends,shame catch me,I no fit go back to ♏Ɣ friend bcs all eyes were on me,I just pass another road comot 4 dere.

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  62. Embarrassing moment???? well, when I was in ss2, and during a physics lecture, I saw a teacher I'd been looking for outside the class. I stood up, took permission to leave, and just as I was about to run out, I slipped and fell before the whole class.....OMG! They all started laughing. , my friends, the physics teacher and the woman I was going out to meet. After I finished with her, I went into another class, I cried eh, out of shame....It took forever to get back my composure to enter the class....immediately I did, the laughter eh! Terrible....

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