Domestic Violence - Letter To An Abusive Husband......OMG!

OMG!!!!

Dear Stella(may your lamp keep burning strong),  

My husband threatened me this morning and I sent him below mail just now. I'd love for you to post it. I made this choice because no one can handle domestic violence in silence.

"As much as i want to keep quiet i will not, seeing as you just threatened me this morning. Lets break it down. When you say i must not come back to the house, what you really mean is that you will beat me up.

Well i have my conditions too. I have absolutely no issues with returning the phone; the phone that was MINE!!! I told you i did not want to give your person. I chose to do otherwise and i told you why.

THE DAY YOU TAKE BACK ALL THE BEATINGS AND UNDO THE EFFECT; THAT DAY YOU WILL GET THE PHONE BACK! 

You and i know you can't , even if you try for a million years. So imagine yourself reading my lips! I AM NOT GETTING THAT PHONE BACK! AND YOU WILL NOT LAY A FINGER ON ME OR MY KIDS OR PUT US IN ANY DISCOMFORT!

THIS IS MY COUNTER-THREAT TO YOU. IF YOU EVER LAY YOUR HAND ON ME OR MY KIDS AGAIN. I WILL RUIN YOU.

I have nothing to lose. I will never be ashamed to protect my life or my kids. I will let the world know that you are an animalistic wife and child abuser! When your boss(s) at work find out that you are not what you portay and that you abuse your wife, you will lose your job(i assure you; either you resign or they fire you) and the end will begin for you.

You think you are intelligent, wait until you lose respect. Wait until you walk everywhere in shame. Wait until your NAME DIES while you live.

If i am half as bad a wife as you say i am, then take a walk. If you have an affair or marry someone else, i will "shake body" and move on. If you never sleep with me again, i will not flinch. Sex no be food abeg. Whatever wrongs or mistakes i have made as a woman, I made them before I met you. I have not been a perfect wife, but i have been fair and i have tried my best! Person wey say i never try e no go better for am. I make bold to say i have never done any thing to deserve a beating. No wife deserves to be beaten! 

I have never slept with you for ME or any man before i married you. I have always had sex to satisfy the man. I derive no joy from sex for myself. There are other things that give me pleasure and joy. Sex is not one of them, so i will never miss it.

I know you want out. Both of us know there is an opportunity coming soon. I strongly advice you to be patient and let this marriage die a natural death. You dont have to be a coward and animal while you plot your exit.  That way you keep your self esteem, your name and you can start over. I AM READY TO RAISE MY KIDS ALONE! GOD HELPING ME.

I didnt mean for this mail to be this long, but you threatened me! And never again will you threaten me or touch me.

I am sending this mail to Stella. I love that woman! She's gonna post it on her blog and i will send the link to you. 

I am also going to send this to some organisations who help victims of domestic violence. Do you know why?

Cos if you touch me or my kids, i will not hesitate to defend myself. If i kill you in the process, it will be self defence. I pray it doesnt come to that but dont underestimate a woman who has seen her life flash across her eyes. Dont invoke the wrath of a 7-month old pregnant woman who was beaten, pushed outside naked while trying to keep you from killing her son. I will not carry a wound inflicted by you again! Biko i'm too "fine" to be disfigured. I'm too blessed to be cursed with a sad marriage! I'm too happy to be sad! 

I still have the pictures of my wounded self and that of our 3 yr old son you beat to a pulp.

Look I'm ready to make this marriage work. I'm ready to give it what it takes. But i'm also veeery prepared for it to fail. If you dont want it to work, no wahala. But stay on your lane and let me stay on mine. 

If this marriage crumbles patapata, dont forget it failed because of your ANGER! Your anger is what got us here. You were a man with small dreams but with potentials when we met. But since you started getting bigger you've started getting more angry. I still cant understand why someone so blessed as you are can be so angry at life. You are just ungrateful to God. You who knows too well how far God has brought you!

I want to live with you for the rest of my life but i dont have to. You dont have to either. Biko, i dont want "by-force" marriage.

Live and let live! Inugo! As long as the physical and verbal abuse never happens again, we'll both be fine on our lanes.

You are a good man, but your anger has made you a beast. I aint going down with you!  The fact that your father was not a father to you does not mean sh**t. You are a grown man who has chosen to be worse than your father. I cant tell you all this in person cos No one wins an argument with you. No one can have a sane conversation with you. It will only end in physical and verbal abuse.

Ps: I shared my moments of indiscretion before we met, with you. You have used it as a weapon against me all 7yrs of our marriage. The first time you did, you called me a Whore! Nothing about me is whorish! I say this this with humility and confidence. I couldnt believe it, and i slapped you. I begged you, apologised to my father too becos i knew i had erred. 

I am mentioning this to let the world know that this mail is not only about how imperfect you are but about how imperfect i have been. I have made mistakes in dis marriage but I have NEVER intentionally hurt or disrespected you! Regardless of everything just dont touch me again! 

 I'd like to connect with the lady who sent a story titled "dead end". Please send your email address to Stella and i'll reach out. Stella please, kindly note my email address and send me her email.

OMG!