How many of you ladies out there have ever asked a man out?..I have! lol
WETIN YOU DEY WAIT FOR?It wont kill you to tell him you like him and ask him if he is dating anyone serious....better you know by yourself.
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
'PUSHING' A MAN INTO A RELATIONSHIP
I'm a 30 year old lady, a post graduate student and also working. 6 years ago, i met a guy during youth service and we became close friends after a while. I was so much into him and i didn't hide it from him or anyone around me. After like a year after service we started dating. He was such a gentleman and very caring and i loved him so much but he wasn't ready for anything serious. After months of 'pushing' the r/ship cos it was like the love was one sided, i gave up but we still maintained our friendship though it wasn't like before. A year or so later i left town to pursue my masters' degree and we lost touch.
In school i met another guy after a year or so and we started dating. I met his parents and he met mine, he later proposed and i accepted, not because i was really into him but i felt at my age i should be getting ready to settle down and he was good to me. After i told my mum she asked me to see the pastor about it and my unemployed status at that time. I went to see the pastor about job issues only and didn't talk about my relationship until he asked. When i told him my guy's name and what he does for a living, he told me point blank that he is not the one and that my to-be husband is a medical doctor.
He then went ahead to ask if i have any doctor friend and i told him yes but both are married. I completely forgot the guy i dated during service cos he is also a doctor. When i left his office, i threw the prophecy or whatever in dustbin in my heart cos i've already decided to marry the guy that proposed though at that time i had issues with his family's too much interference in our r/ship. Some months later on transit from Lagos to Ibadan, i met a man in the bus who is also a pastor and we got talking about issues generally. Somehow issues about my fiance came up and i told him what i was going through in my r/ship and he told me that i better break up with him now because his family will be the one controlling him. I didn't listen still until he finally broke up with me himself using his family as an excuse. I accepted it in good faith and moved on with my life. I didn't even miss him much cos i was also fed up.
That was almost 2 years ago. March this year, my doctor ex called me out of the blue and immediately the words of my pastor hit me. He called again the next day asking to see me cos we now reside in the same town again. I avoided seeing him at all cost but he insisted and ever since that time, i've not been able to take my mind off him. I realize that i still love him. Now he has not said anything, doesn't really call except when necessary and my mind keeps asking if he is 'the one'. My friends told me to be sharp but i just don't know how to go about it. I 'pushed' him into a r/ship with me once and i'm not proud of it cos i felt rejected. What will i do if he rejects me again? I know he's not married but what if he has someone in mind? Should i talk to him (which i'm scared to do) or should i just keep praying. I know sometimes you have to go out of your way to get what you want but what if it doesn't work? I don't think i can handle it. Please i need advice from you and others that have been in this situation before and bvs generally. Thanks
WETIN YOU DEY WAIT FOR?It wont kill you to tell him you like him and ask him if he is dating anyone serious....better you know by yourself.
All you Ladies listening to Pastors prophecies should be careful oooh,some of them i hear work with familiar spirits around you....whatever that means.
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
LIVING CLOSE TO THE MOTHER IN LAW IS GOOD?
Hello Stells,
Firstly, Id like to appreciate you for the 25k giveaway I received early This Month. I can boldly say I am an Independent Woman now because my business is booming and I got a manageable job almost immediately after the giveaway Month also. Thanks a lot
I have this issue I want you and SDKERS to help me solve. There is this guy I have known virtually all my life. We have been dating for 4/5 years now and by next Year, We plan to settle down together God's willing and here is the BUT...
He wants us to live close to his Mother because according to him, she will help us take care of our kid(s) while we are at work till we get back and she can help cook something for us for dinner. He does not want to stay far from his Mum being the only child and he own the land technically.I agree that he and his mum contributed to buying the land and its only normal he owns a share but he wants to build on the leftover land for us to live when we get married.He claims this will also save us from paying house rent and all its issues. I do not like this idea at all. Staying close to him mum gives us no Privacy at all. I like her a lot and vice versa,she has known me even before her son and I started dating but still, things might get different living so close to her.....
Please fellow Bv's, How do I convince him without hurting his feelings or making him feel I do not like his Mum??
I am really Confused.
What is wrong with your mum in law?is she not your friend?my mum in law lives around me and is my friend but we only see when necessary or i pop in when i need a motherly hug or to give them kisses.
Living around her doesnt mean she will impose herself on you does it?
Is your man a mummy's boy like mine?lol
My verdict?......no harm in trying it out,stop making a big mountain out of a small molehill.
Stells, na Chronicles just dey my mind since morning, enable comments quick quick. Danke!
ReplyDelete@poster 1:I dnt see anything wrong in u asking him wot d futures holds for u bth as far as u dnt let the despiration in u shows cos all I can see in ur narrative is DESPIRATION!u just want to settle down asap cos u think u're nt getting any younger.well just be careful sha. Poster 2:I'll tell u point blank DO NOT TRY IT,stella african mother inlaws are different from white folks so plz don't compare urs with hers.well if he insists I wish u goodluck!
DeletePray to God daily that your husband would find you, so you can stop man hunting and chill. I prayed that my husband would find me and asked God for signs that he is the one like extreme love and other things so when he came along no1 needed to tell me. Just pray dear.
Delete@P1 the one that asked you out hard not to talk of the one you ask out. I wont advice you to ask him out again. Men for who they are will rob it on your facebook even if he marries you later when you have issues. @P2. Staying that close to your mother inlaw is dicy. There is no harm in trying though. That should not be a reason to let your man go. For all you know you could stay far from her before marriage,what happens. If he decides to bring her in after to stay. Will you park your load then.
DeletePlease poster one, let things fall in place naturally, don't fast forward it biko; if the prophesy is right, trust me you won't stress a muscle.
DeletePoster two, I don't see anything wrong there o, as far you guys are not leaving under one roof, abi na you go dey pay house rent????? You see correct guy you dey complain, what if he now tells you that y'all will be leaving under one roof, wetin you go com do??? Just see her as your mother, at the long run it will favour you in terms of taking care of your kids. You no get wahala!
Stella, u dey ask wetin she dey wait for....she better wait oo. Haba! This is the 2nd time dey re connecting and bobo hasn't made a move...quite tough. If I were in her shoes, I won't make the move.
DeleteShe has tried d first time, it didn't work. Why shud she try again? When in d actual sense, bobo shud be d one doing d 'chasing' and 'asking'. U can imagine the shame she will feel if d guy doesn't reciprocate the love again!. I don't bliv in forcing the love on another, if the love doesn't grow naturally, den what's d point?
Stella, dis guy knows very well dat d lady was d one who initiated d prev rship dt didn't work out, I don't know why he is back now and still hasn't shown any green light. Or shud we take it that he will still break the ice, maybe he is taking his time. Afterall dey jus reconnected 2 months ago. Hmmm but is 2 months not enof time for a mature man to say what he wants?
Poster, I don't bliv in those prophecies (unless dey say my future is soooo bright coz I know it will be so), I like to pray to God and let Him direct me. I seek Pastoral guidance when need be but I bliv it's only God that knows my future. Keep praying dear, don't lose hope. I cannot be falling head over heels in love wt one who doesn't feel d same for me or reciprocate d love, I rather look for one who has a considerable amt of love for me. At least u hv tried b4, so let ur conscience rest.
Remain friends wt him, and keep all options open. Don't act desperate. Tie ur legs too. Let God do the work, trust me He will, and He doesn't need ur help to do it, He is a miraculous God!
Poster1 pls take it slow with him. Men don't like to be badgered, heck no one likes to b badgered into a relationship. He knows you like him already. It's even safer to act uninterested sef but just be calm and friendly then with time you can chip in your feelings to him.
DeletePoster2: nothing wrong with staying close to your mum in law abeg. Let your mum visit too from time to time if u don't feel comfortable, after all no be only your DH get mama.
#my2kobo o
Poster 2 would you not rather have a house of your own next to hers as opposed to her moving into your house at another location, I assure you her son will want that when the kids start coming. You better choose the 1st option for your own sake.
DeleteI've never wooed a man before o.
ReplyDelete@Poster2, my one answer on that is CAPITAL NO
*Larry was here*
My dear real capiral NO. No mind stella. She just want make we talk. Na oyimbo mother in law she get. U for get konk Igbo one. U no for fit talk
DeleteLets try to analyse this, why do Nigerians dislike their mother In laws ?? if a girl cant stay with my mother im automatically not marrying her, my mother is all i have, you want your privacy, are we going to be sleeping in one room. Nigerian girls should please try to learn, our generation are educated, if it were to be your mother how will you feel ? Ladies step up your game, living in the same house with his mother doesn't change the fact that that you are his wife. And we are all one...seriously any lady that says she cant live in the same compound with my mother is joking, even if she mentions so on the altar, that's the end of the marriage.
Delete@SMART,wo I gbadun u die!U have really made my day.Thums up for u.
DeleteSMART:
DeleteSame exact thing people call "mummy's boy"
For you to take that kind of drastic decision for an issue that is a matter of choice and preference, you are indirectly justifying why women don't want to live with mothers-in-law.
From 'you must live with her' lest...
To 'you must let her cook too' lest...
To 'you should allow her supervise this' unless...
To, 'you must let her pick the name for the child'
To 'she has good taste, you must let her pick the food timetable and the children's clothes and the curtains and everything..."
Even if you don't do all these things, even if you limit her participation, the truth is that you're the only one able 2 limit her. Your wife has not much say in her own house. And even you are limited by emotions. Certain things mothers do, we just ignore. You might ignore because you're not the one in the line of fire and you will keep admonishing your wife to ignore but she will feel hurt, like she is being maligned.
And Nigerian mothers are overbearing.
Infact, no independent mother that doesn't want to interfere in any way will be too pleased with / insisting on the arrangement even. It always starts with good intents, next needless advice, next she sees something your wife is doing that may compromise both of you, in her opinion and so and so.
You can't be a boy two times.
Disentangle yourself from immediate family.
A man must be a man 1 day.
Even Jesus treated/held his mother at arm's length in the wedding @ Cana. Cos mothers are naturally doting and imposing, it's part of their own brand of love.
Don't say stuff like, any girl that doesn't want to live with your mum will be cut short.
Can you live with your wife's mum in her house? Can you spend 3 months with your inlaws without being of the brink of going out of your mind? Ehennn....
It's the same.
Hmnnnnn.....
ReplyDeleteInto your hands lord jesu I commit these posters.
ReplyDeleteLol. They both need Jesus!
DeletePoster 1: as awkward as it mind sound, I will voice out if I were u and not because one prophet said one thing, it's cos deep down u like d guy. When u really like someone, d feeling is peculiar and intense and it's only u understands d feeling. So don't slack!
ReplyDeletePoster 2: u said u've known him all ur life and u've dated for 4/5 years; is that all ur life? Lemme stop here before I pass my boundary.
*might*
DeleteShe has known him all her life but they only started dating for about 4/5 years now. As in she know the guy tey tey but e never tey wey their 2 start to date
DeleteOma the guy since but ote beghi aka fa bido kwa wa ikoo
Hahahahahahhahaha abi oh english is not a easy. Hahahahhahahahah
DeletePoster 1: Go for him
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Live close to your mother in law. Before you want to turn your mother-inlaw to bad woman.
what of when you have a son, and your son's wife says she does not want to stay close to you, how would you feel.
make una no dey turn mother-in laws to witches abeg.
Myface truout (<““>)
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteAbeg see the guy jare....what would your pastor gain from lying to you about your life partner....
Poster 2,
Me I can't stay close to my mum in law or even my mum sef....
I love my privacy....I don't want anybody telling me how to run my home...
The ball is in your court,marry him if you can endure...
In LADY IGO's voice
DeletePoster 1, he only just called you and you are already making plans. Why not wait for him to make his intentions known first he must have contacted you again for a reason don't let you single state push you to make a mistake you will regret. I'm sure you only think you love him because you have no other option.
The bible says HE not SHE that finds a wife has found a good thing.
Let the man do the chasing.
While you are at it, DO NOT OPEN YOUR LEGS until he marries you
Sister Joy was once in your shoes, she did a lot of things (including sex)
Became very friendly with his family especially his mom..She took in after some months when she told him, he told her to abort it that he's not ready to settle down...she ran to his mother told her everything and the woman was over the moon with happiness because he was her only sin and she has been begging him to settle down and make her a happy grandma...Sister Joy joined forces with the mum and he eventually succumbed and they got married. After 2 years the marriage packed up after the different series of domestic voilence and abuse.
She gave her life to Christ and decided to let God's will prevail.
Lmao @Yvette. Ur not serious @ well
DeletePoster 1: all I read was desperation, desperation, desperation, desperation.Jesus, what is the world turning into? Have you realised you have put your own life on hold and now all u are pursuing is settling down, husband, boyfriend?Do you realise that soon you will turn to the poster from yesterday'' I need to get hooked'' who's putting u under this kind of pressure? Family? Or urself, if u r doing this to urself then better wake up.Nobody says a woman's life starts or ends with being Mrs.If u r Mrs n still have no accomplishment what purpose du serve on earth? Better stop all the pastor say and focus on what should be which is if the rship works fine, not forcing a man into a rship. Who told u u forced him into it btw? He was out to use u since u lacked common sense to see he didn't like u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: As long as ur mil does not or hasn't stressed ur life y all this crappy talk? Abt d kids ur hubby is right,she will help out with them when they come.But women let's learn to stop overthinking things just cos u r the woman of ur home doesn't mean that ur thots are right.Its if she's acted one or two things u can then talk.
Prophecies come in different ways truely.
DeleteHe is not the only doctor alive.
Might be there is even another man for you.
When things like this happen,
You might see it in your own way because you are human and your understanding is limited and confined to things around you.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteSee as you are fucking everybody and sharing pussy now oh. You did not talk about the other flings too. But you will come to this blog and now start forming holiest of angels. Too many pretenders in this society.
Then the issue of the prophet and their half-baked prophecy. Nigerians are gullible sha. The so called prophet should use his talent in improving our society, and not feasting on vulnerable people, using trial and error.
Tell the guy you like him na. It is nothing new. But if you are doing this for the prophecy, then be ready to face other unseen issues when you marry oh.
This society and marriage sef.... it is becoming irritating.
Anyways, do and marry quick sha. Na married women be my spec. The thrill of doing something very bad is so pleasureable.
Do u know how God feels wen u write these things? Sleeping with ppl's wives
DeleteI sense you are sad, lonely, stingy and sexually frustrated hence the need to always want your own way on letting out steam #1 minute man/2inch dick# SMH
DeletePoster 1; I don't know wat to say , since I have neva told the guys i liked before about my feelings. Really wished I can. Poster 2. Notin wrong with your man's suggestion staying close to your suppose mother in law to be, and you also said she is your friend wetin come be your own.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, ask him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 please let your man finish building the house before u marry him . When you decide to fall in love with an only child, you should be ready for anything you see. Best wishes.
What I've discovered about most ladies is dat dey look for problem where there's none....
ReplyDelete#2...it's not as if ur MIL will be staying in d same house with u n ur husband wen u finally get married so wats d problem?
Poster 2 u dont have problem tsheww. Poster1, thread carefully. Am so young, so single, so free, so beauuuutiffuuulll, so dark, so tall, so slim. Loving my new life.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, atleast talk to him. See him first then you guys can talk. But if it leads to anything, don't give him kpansh. In case he came back for that girl that toasted him to get easy lay. But see him first n talk to him. Good luck. Poster 2, SDK u get oyibi MIL, and oyibo life is mostly full of boundaries. They can respect privacy n have limit. She might do things later in good mind, and u will see it as overdo. And vice versa, small time, problem will come. But I reject it for you. Since he is her only son and its a land owned by him already, to avoid house rent issues, u might want to reconsider. In marriage though am not married, sacrifice should be important.
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally he came back and called when she is now living in that same town again. Informants @ work
DeletePoster 2,there's nothing wrong living close to your MIL, we stay on the same street with my in laws,and it's been a blessing. They are so understanding and respect our privacy. Infact my MIL is more like a mum to me.
ReplyDeleteBasically, I have not. I just told him I have a crush on him.
ReplyDeleteTHE ADVOCATE.
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you this for free..it is only a coincidence that your pastor mentioned a medical doctor and you thought he was referring to your ex,oh no,he wasn't..
If your ex,whom you admitted wasn't giving you his all when you dated and hence you felt it was a one sided affair,if the same ex,had real feelings for you,right now that you guys reconnected,he is supposed to let you know that he is still into you..
My advice to you is this,don't open up to him,wait for him to make the neccesary moves,that way you'd know its genuine and mutual.cos if you open up to him telling him you love him,bla,bla,bla,and he accepts,how would you really know for sure that he feels same?
He might accept to have another go with you out of pity..
Wait and watch it play out,cos for all I know,if at all there is any truth to what your pastor said about your rightful man being a doctor and all,he might be referring to someone else..
Have you ever stopped to think for a moment that maybe there is a medical doc out there you are yet to meet?
Poster 2,
There is nothing wrong with living close to your mother inlaw,as long as you both have your boundries,and you give her the much needed respect..
p1 wot u wairing for abeg ask the guy how far yourself and just tell him say you want make im dey brush ur yeye( p*****Y) for u n inherit it for life finito ...
ReplyDeletePoster one, just ask him his relationship status,
ReplyDeleteBe yourself and use style to always talk about your future. Listen to his response, from there, you'll know if he is interested or not.
Don't tell him you want to date him o, just be yourself and since you like him, be friends with him.... Everything will work out according to God's plan and God wants the best for you dear. Remember from conversations, you can know exactly what he wants and all. Its well.
Poster two, provided she won't come and be knocking every morning and all. Talk to your hubby to be about it jor, tell him what you want and what will work best for you guys. He seems like a mama's boy sha.
Well, truth be told, she'll always be in you guys business, she'll come always and stay with you guys always if she is a widow but if she isn't a widow, just stay close, its no big deal cos she has her hubby to look after.
But think about it, what if she was your mum? What will you do? Sincerely, what will you do?
Don't mind Stellz o, she na janded woman and the old women mind their business most times.
N1, as for me, it's always good to be on a safe side n in ur case, u av to ask him what he wants with u dis time around so dt u won't be living in a fools paradise. Pls ask him his intentions bc u are not comfortable with his calls being dt u still feel sometin for him. He is a man, n I no dt he will understand d question. Goodluck but pls don't sound desperate while doing it so dt he won't feed on ur desperation, bc men are very tricky. N2, gals alwys frown at mother in laws n I don't no why. Do u realize dt u will be a mother in law someday? Be friendly but not too familiar, bc dts what kills friendship. From ur story, ur man is a wise man, he wants to build a house, u should support him n not finding fault where dia is non. Goodluck!
ReplyDeletePoster 1,pls confess ur luv 4 him bfa its 2 late and poster 2,I dnt see any issue wit ur hubby building on that land as far ur MIL is nt nosy and she nice u gat no problemo.
ReplyDeleteMz indomie says so.
u ar entitled to ur opinion yes..but pls dnt gv dat kind of advice..we ar talkin about a nigerian guy hr,we ar nt in d western world were a girl can walk up to any guy nd ask hm out..btw we ar talkin about marraige hr or do u wnt ha to suffer..av bn in dis kinda situation bfor nd it dnt end well nd i wont lyk dat to hapen to any sdker abeg.
DeletePoster 1 be very careful cos ve been in that same situation. Pastors telling me about a particular guy and wenever I try to ask him about his plans he will shut down. Be very wise!
ReplyDeleteStay away from him, when he's ready to make his intentions known he will reach out to you.
I say this cos you will start developing feelings based on what pastor said and end up sleeping with him, at the end of d day he may not say anything eventually. These pastors are mere confusionists. Stay away! Dats my £1 advise.
Poster 2. You worry for nothing
BVs pls is it just me?? When making love to my boo I cnt have an orgasm if I don't close my eyes n pretend its my ex..... Does ths feeln go away with time??? I don't like the feeln.
ReplyDeleteMy sister go for deliverance
Deletelmao no be small deliverance
DeleteHow long have you being/been married?
DeleteIs your hubby weak in bed?
Please,stare at your hubby's face while he's hitting you.It's hard but try
Poster1 go ahead and be close to him joor and find out yourself if he's single but from your narrative it seems the guy was not into you and he is still not goodluck oh
ReplyDeletePoster2 why do people resent their mother in law to the extent of not wanting to be close to her, your bf is her only child what is wrong in staying close to her,what if she was your mother na wao
Poster 1- Biko don't listen to Stella ooo. Do not ask him anything. He knows how much you like him and I am sure you show him you love him as well. Please don't. You are 30, I want to assume he is older than you are, does he want to be an uncle gwegs? He knows the right thing to do. Every lady deserves a man that loves her more than she does and not vice versa. Don't let him use you and dump you for a girl who doesn't care about him. He is old enough to know what he wants, let him make the first move. You just keep your fingers crossed, pay little attention to him, if he comes to you, be nice to him, tie your legs together (if you don't, you might just catch unreal feelings). Most importantly, please pray to God to give you your own man, someone deserving of you that will show you unconditional love. So keep your eyes open. Someone might just be around that will sweep you off your feet. All the best.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- Mother in laws can be very sweet, it depends on the three of you (your MIL, your husband and yourself). I don't know anything about you all living close or probably sharing a fence cos my case is totally different. Stella's MIL is a non nigerian, hence they don't see often and all but you will be dropping off kids and she makes dinner..*sigh* that involves daily interaction.
How patient and understanding are you? If you know you don't like it, please speak to your hubby in a loving way and don't ever make statements like "i don't want her interfering in our lives" or things like that. Remember, he is an only child, they have had just themselves for years. Be prayerful and if you eventually move there, try to overlook somethings.
Abeg, hand don dey pain me.
Signing out like Mrs. Kork.
Best advise. Please poster one take this advise. Don't tell him anything about your feelings o. Please don't embarrass yourself for the second time. Just friendzone him and pretend you are not into him. If he is the one for you, he will open up. Hmmmmm a word is enough for the wise o. And please stop visiting prophets, learn how to pray.
DeleteSpot on...p1 pls follow this advise. He's old enough to know wat he wants abeg. Make urself available but DO NOT make that mistake of pushing him. And still keep ur eyes open, another "doctor" myt just be around d corner u knw. u cud also try makin him jealous wen u guys r 2geda den watch out for his response.
DeleteP2 it may not be so bad u knw. Just ensure u develop d boundaries from d onset. I dont think her makin "dinner" is a bright idea. Maybe ur hubby still misses his momma's food. May God grant you both wisdom.
Poster 1- Biko don't listen to Stella ooo. Do not ask him anything. He knows how much you like him and I am sure you show him you love him as well. Please don't. You are 30, I want to assume he is older than you are, does he want to be an uncle gwegs? He knows the right thing to do. Every lady deserves a man that loves her more than she does and not vice versa. Don't let him use you and dump you for a girl who doesn't care about him. He is old enough to know what he wants, let him make the first move. You just keep your fingers crossed, pay little attention to him, if he comes to you, be nice to him, tie your legs together (if you don't, you might just catch unreal feelings). Most importantly, please pray to God to give you your own man, someone deserving of you that will show you unconditional love. So keep your eyes open. Someone might just be around that will sweep you off your feet. All the best.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- Mother in laws can be very sweet, it depends on the three of you (your MIL, your husband and yourself). I don't know anything about you all living close or probably sharing a fence cos my case is totally different. Stella's MIL is a non nigerian, hence they don't see often and all but you will be dropping off kids and she makes dinner..*sigh* that involves daily interaction.
How patient and understanding are you? If you know you don't like it, please speak to your hubby in a loving way and don't ever make statements like "i don't want her interfering in our lives" or things like that. Remember, he is an only child, they have had just themselves for years. Be prayerful and if you eventually move there, try to overlook somethings.
Abeg, hand don dey pain me.
Signing out like Mrs. Kork.
choi were do i send ur hugs to..u nailed it dear
DeleteI go with stella's advice
ReplyDeleteLemme just read comments.
ReplyDelete@1, maybe u should listen to stella cos i dont know what to say, u tried it before it backfired, i pray it works .
ReplyDelete@2, if it was ur mum will u be feeling this way, this is d answer to ur question.
Poster2 ur guy opinion is very good.he said when u both are at work and d kids are back from school,she can attend to dem pending when u both comes back.u don't know hw lucky u are to leave close to ur mother inlaw.
ReplyDeleteDnt mind poster 2,come to UK no see how ppl are suffering because they can't cope without a mother or a mother in law to take care of their kids while they work, use wisdom nd u will be fine with ur mil
DeleteIts not always advisable for a lady to do the hunting, MOST guys value the meat they spent time plotting & running after.. Thrs fun in the chase, it makes the meat sweeter, coupled with the anticipation... It dsnt work for all hunters tho, men are built to go after preys, let them do their job.....
ReplyDeleteStella how can u compare a white mother inlaw to a nigerian one. Ur guy's reason is cogent but.. Hmmmm idk idk. Over familiarity breeds contempt. I dunno what to say biko
ReplyDeletehahaha make girl ask me out nah
ReplyDelete#GODWIN™
Poster 2 you are so lucky you will be living in separate houses. Chic your problem is not really a problem. Pls make lemonade out of it. In other words, happiness is a choice. No one can mâke you sad If you choose to be filled with joy. God bless!
ReplyDeleteThis only becomes a problem if the MIL over steps her boundaries and this is expected because as the familiarity increaincreases she would be unconsciously poking her nose in the couple'couple's affairs much to the annoyance of the wife. So I don't blame P2 for her fears. Again the MIL na naija woman. I won't be surprised if she begins to live with them. All these could happen gradually.
DeletePoster1.nice one,I like girls that are bold enough to ask guys out....girl do your thing don't be shy. Poster2.some girls can't just stand their mother in law why?
ReplyDeletemy dear every guy is nt lyk u
DeleteYou for just sit down and read comments. U like dem bold enof, why can't u be bold enof to do d chasing.
DeletePoster2, if your guy is not a mummy's boy I don't see anything wrong o. But if he is, that is when there would be issues.
ReplyDeletePoster1, just ask him straight. No time to waste time o.
Ms. Desperado, calm down. This guy knows you are desperate and might just sleep with you and marry someone else. He has rejected you before, please take it easy and let him tell you before you embarrass yourself again. He is your friend so ofcourse he would want to see you. Stop thinking every move by a man means he wants to marry you. Calm down please.
ReplyDeleteP2--Your MIL can live in the next country and stay in your business always.
God bless yOu. She can live out of the country and be in your business.
DeletePoster1, it was second missionary journey that killed Mongo park. Your Ex isn't into u and you are planning to make moves to re-start a relationship. Are u for real? This was the same reason the relationship ended in the first place as the love was one sided. That a Pastor told you your would be hubby is a doctor (that's if that prophecy is true) doesn't mean your Ex is the ONE. Isn't it possible, the doctor is someone else? How sure are u that your hubby to be is a medical doctor? He could be an academic doctor. Have you prayed about it. God will speak to you to if you ask him. Just allow things be, if he's the one, he would make the moves and wife u. Still, make your self available, meet other people and see how things unfold.
ReplyDeleteBest comment
DeleteBest comment ohh I just took the lines that concerned me
DeletePretty much d best comment so far
DeleteGbam
DeleteU ppl saying Gbam. Read again, d Pastor asked her IF SHE HAS A DOCTOR FRIEND, and na only the guy be the only doctor she knows?
DeleteOh how I so missed this blog
ReplyDeleteIts good to be back.....
Poster1......My pple say water when person go drink no go pass am, don't force/push anything, If its meant to be it will be.Keep calm and trust God
Poster2...Stella but why are u comparing your German MIL with a Nigerian one,Its different trust me,over there they respect privacy and don't visit when they are not invited but here the reverse is the case, she'll even pack in and live u with u and they u no go fit drink water drop cup,my advice stay far from her
Comments oooo
ReplyDeletePoster 1:
ReplyDeleteThe Lord is your strength
Poster 2:
The Lord is your muscle
@poster1 : you don't really have much time to wait....
ReplyDeleteSpeak up,it wouldn't kill,but don't waste your time loving someone dat doesn't love u.
You have to ur stand.
Just speak with him, he isn't going to beat u 4 doing so.
@poster2 : try n understand, ur hubby 2 be is her only child!
I don't see any big deal With your hubby's suggestion.
narr. 1 i dont know how this would sound to you but me i dont believe in asking guys out, that shii makes me feel nauseous. if he is not saying anything pls let him be. He doesnt really call you like that sef, what is he feeling like? because he is a doctor abi, abegi! Anyways, my friends always tell me (in their myopic minds) that my ideologies about relationships have become extinct, the world have moved past that and maybe that is why am still single blah blah, lols. But babegirl, i dont CURR. Let him do the toasting biko!
ReplyDeleteNarr. 2 if your MIL is a good woman, why are you still asking for advice here? abi you are not a good wife ni?
Narrative 1
ReplyDeleteFollow Your heart let Your love lead you to kindness, down to a place you once knew, I believe, I believe, I believe in you.
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narr. 1 i dont know how this would sound to you but me i dont believe in asking guys out, that shii makes me feel nauseous. if he is not saying anything pls let him be. He doesnt really call you like that sef, what is he feeling like? because he is a doctor abi, abegi! Anyways, my friends always tell me (in their myopic minds) that my ideologies about relationships have become extinct, the world have moved past that and maybe that is why am still single blah blah, lols. But babegirl, i dont CURR. Let him do the toasting biko!
ReplyDeleteNarr. 2 if your MIL is a good woman, why are you still asking for advice here? abi you are not a good DIL ni? Why feeling insecure?
Pster1 if the guy is single you don't need to ask him directly just play your card well. Stylishly ask him if he's seeing anyone, then do other things like visiting him or something but don't outrightly ask and don't use becos of pastor to go after him, he may not be d one.
ReplyDeletePoster2, why are you worrying over nothing. You can live close and still not see frequently. Please its better he builds his own house nd you live peacefully without house rent wahala. Enjoy your home. The most important thing is God being in your home.
Poster 1:
ReplyDeleteI thought it's Post-graduate before masters programme?
Why is yours the other way round?
Post graduate is anything after graduate studies. I.e after b.sc. u r probably thinking post graduate diploma. Masters is a post graduate degree.
DeleteNarrative 1------ I met my boyfriend on facebook, i was the 1 who asked him out after about 3 months of friendship, and as of today i cant stop thanking God for making me that step, because he is the best thing that has eva happend to me, i am onli praying to God to uplift him beyond his dreams . But remember to pray to God on things that bothers you.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2------Firstly you have to understand that marriage is mystery, because humans are unpredictable, living with ur mil is not a sin and i pray you dont ever regret it. My advice to you is DO UNTO YOUR MIL WHAT YOU WILL DO TO YOUR OWN MOTHER OR WHAT YOU WILL WANT YOUR OWN DIL TO DO TO YOU and lastly remember that PRAYER IS THE MASTER KEY SO NEVER STOP PRAYING. i pray God favours you and your family. Cheers.
NB----- Forgive my errors.
Am talking to Mis decency oloshi oloriburuku olobo werepe!!!
DeleteThis post is not abt jus asking a guy out, but doing that for d second time! Aarrghhh
DeleteEven a guy dt has asked a girl out d first time and d girl turned him down will need to muster an extra confidence to do it the second time.
Okija babe--- iya alata how market??? Se ota???? Wobia.
DeleteBae---- U are right sha but.....
@Miz oloriburuku decency, u should be asking ur uselless ashewo mother how her totoh bisness!!!
DeleteBorn bastard like u!
My mother is dead and gone long time ago, so maybe you should forward that question to ur mother or those bastards u are raising for our okija brother.
DeleteMio no jere e. U go sofo. Esu.
Stella and her oyınbo advıce.
ReplyDeleteMotherly hug ko, kısses nı
Tı wan ba le potty mo e lara, ıbı to tı n huggı ıranu kan, orı e a kpewa.
Go n be huggıng d one dat wld keep u busy 4 d rest of ur lıfe #GodForbıd.
If u need a hug, hug ur bıble n make use of ur common sense.
Mother ınlaw cookıng for u? abı e gboro?!
Must ur husband to be, te eba tı famıly ınherıtance?
If dıa was no land wld e lıve on trees?
Stella ı notıce somethıng abt u, u seem to lık storıes on ghost, famılıar spırıts n people flyıng ın d aır.hehehe!
U too lık to dey do spırı-coco,ı almost belıeve untıl ı rememba ur blokus chaırs, n change my mınd.
#1: Prophecy can be very dicey because some come in from of visions while some are auditory, some also come as a prompting of the spirit and subject to various interpretations. A prophet may see you on fire and conclude that you will have a fire accident while another prophet may have the same vision and interpret it as God wanting to purify your spirit or you are protected by the fire of the Holy Spirit. Not all prophets have the gift of interpretation. What I dislike about prophecy is that majority of people who hear prophecies inadvertently or deliberately start trying to make the prophecy come to pass by making certain decisions they ordinarily wouldn't have if they didn't hear that prophecy, especially where it's favourable to them. I'll take my intuition over prophecy any day unless the prophecy is overwhelming and I feel at peace with it.
ReplyDeleteDarling, when it comes to matters of the heart, I'm pretty much old school. I believe a man who knows what he wants should man up and go for it or step aside for the guy man enough to chase and enjoy the hunt. If he allowed you walk out of his life before and he now decided he wants you back, shouldn't he pursue you vigorously? Shouldn't he be jumping through hoops to prove to you that he's sorry for not fighting for your relationship then, hence the enthusiastic chasing now? How can he initiate contact and be ambiguous, not expressly stating his intentions and calling only when necessary? What does that even mean? Wouldn't it be a safe presumption that your absence had little or no effect on him? I'm so sorry, my love, it's not my intention to massage a tender spot in your broken heart, I'm just ticked off at how nonchalant he is. Why leave you persistently drifting in limbo? Deductive reasoning suggests that the express omission of an intention shows there was never an intention in the first place. I don't care if you turned down his date 3 times, he should fight for your affection. He owes you that much after the way the previous relationship ended. It's when you're single you can really maximise the right to bluff and "dangle the carrot" playing hard to get subtly because once you become a wife the roles reverse. You will now be expected to pray for your hubby even when you feel like strangling him. You will be expected to keep your home by being patient, understanding, etc.
Sweetie, assuming he's in love with someone else but wants to keep in touch with you for friendship sake, will you force yourself on him because a prophecy revealed you will marry a doctor? What if he isn't the doctor in the prophecy? It could be a completely different doctor. You see why I'm not a fan of prophecy? A pastor told you your hubby will be a doctor, an ex who is now a doctor calls you out of the blues and it led to the irresistible conclusion that he is the one only because of the power of suggestion through prophecy. Honey, just because you hear hoof beats doesn't mean it's a horse, it could also be a Zebra.
I'll conclude with this, never marry out of pity or pressure. He who finds a wife..., allow the guy who knows what he wants and is man enough to win your heart, do the chasing while you kick back, relax and enjoy being wooed. Please don't set yourself up for an unpleasant de javu moment. No one teaches a dog to bark, it comes naturally so if you see a dog staring at you without barking, there's a very high chance that you haven't given the dog a reason to bark. Let nature take its course and allow a man in love prove himself by sweeping you off your feet.
#e-bearhugs.
Chronicles of Ronalda
DeleteU took every single one of these words right out of my mouth...God bless ya!
DeleteBest comment on here!
#word
no be small chronicles shaa..oyibo flyin up nd dwn..bt she gave a solid advice joor.
DeleteRonalda, I want to meet you :) side eyes to Mrs Kork.
DeleteBest comment
That reminds me, Kehinde Ake never put mouth for this toasting matter. It's very odd oo
I love your comment Ronalda... very mature and I love your use of words.
Deletei keep wondering... all these people forming having issues with mother in laws... hope you know someday that you will be referred to as such? right? Kontinue ooo. My mother in law is younger than my Mum and Gods willing she go dey very useful to me...
ReplyDeletei keep wondering... all these people forming having issues with mother in laws... hope you know someday that you will be referred to as such? right? Kontinue ooo. My mother in law is younger than my Mum and Gods willing she go dey very useful to me...
ReplyDeleteThis mother inlaw issue. Let me tell u a personal story.
ReplyDeleteMy brother married a girl that lived around ikotun. He grew up in surulere.
When they were looking for an apartment my mum suggested surulere she refused. My mum even got a 3 bedroom well spaced apartment off bodethomas that dint require agency and agreement she said no.
They got a place around oworo(ghetto like area but gud haus).
They v bin married for 6 yearz naw.
My mum has bin 2 d house mayb 10 times! 8 times when she had her first child. 0 times wen she had d 2nd.
I have bin there 4 times.
She is crying dey dont love her naw. Dat we dont come to their haus nd we dont give her things.
I wont spoil my car going to look for her.. what was chasing her from living close to us wld kip chasing her.
When she nids to drop her children for smtime my mum tells her to take the children to ikotun that she is a working grandma and her mother is a trader! (She would be crying nd say surulere is closer.)
My brother brings d children himself those times my mum collects them.
Nb: every1 in my family excluding my broda nd dad travel outside d country often and we are a well educated and enlightened family.
When we buy things for our nephew and niece and ofcos my broda she says we dont love her..
Me i dnt send her and dont buy things for her. ( if we dint giv her dt distance she mite b throwing our gifts away).
Wen dey just married she was always forming sick during festive periods.
Now 6 yrs on nobody includes her in anytin. (Nb: we cook with gas for parties we dnt use wood nd charcoal ooo. Plus we always get those women who cook, we just sit,gist and supervise.)
When she asks wats hapinin on so so date we tell her nothing ooo, dt she shldnt bother coming.
She den comes under dressed nd wld end up feeling left out. She is smaller dan us in stature so she cant wear our clothes. (Mum always has beautiful native attires for the children) (our wife always kips them looking gud though.)
She is sending pple to beg my mum naw. Her illiterate mother that was supporting her then naw came to be telling my mum to take her like a daughter.
So poster if you have a mother inlaw who is peaceful better dont object or b very diplomatic with your refusal.
If My sister inlaw were diplomatic shr wont v lived in surulere and she wld still v our hearts..
God bless u, don't mind these small girls zoozooin thinking that they hv arrived because they r married forgetting they r gonna b Mil someday.
DeleteY call her mother illetrate? R u born again? Then love her even if she's misbehaving, that's God's standard.. Love!
Deletechronicles of nania
DeleteYou are bitter and full of bile.
DeleteFrom your writeup, I deduced you are very troublesome and spiteful.
FOH with your silly story!
Chai anon 16.29 una wicked oh...buhahahaha. don't I just love ur family.
Delete@ quicksilver. Let me be bitter nd full of bile and pile join. I know ur type. You are a bloody hypocrite. If your stupiid self knows all wat she did u bin and idiot wld v done worse and be reporting her to evil people. This is not story of my life so I cant say everytin. I just cut it short. So idiots v to be taught a lesson. Ds girls mother intrudes in her daughter inlaws marriage like kilode!! I have a frend who is her colleague. The girl loooks for shifts on public holidays so her mum would be out of her face. Shld we v bin shinning teeth with her then her wings wld v grown! If we were wicked pple do u think in ur foolish head dt she wld be wanting tto be close to us? Do you think she is d only daughter in law we have? Or do you think we rnt wives smwhere managing our relations with our MIL?
DeleteThere r plenty things I dnt want frm my MIL but she thinks am d best cos of the way am diplomatic with her and do yes minister for her jusst to have peace! She isnt a bad person at alllll but even our own mothers get on our nerves too talkless of who isnt blood. I dnt allow both SIL in my haus at every jumping opp but the other 1 who I know is probably not better but smart drps her kids smtimes when my mum or her mum isnt free. Pls respect ur silly self and read btw d lines.. I was just trying to show d poster another angle to life, just mayb the MIL doesnt send her sef. Do u thiink if my fOolish SIL dint realise she had bin wrong she wld b trying to get close by force? If she were bin unjustly treated she wld be running helter skelter to look for what is not lost. Receive sense ooo. Receive sense. You dont v to comment on everytin u see. Rather pick wat is gud for u nd jettison wat isnt nd move on.
Deny you're not Yoruba?
DeleteIt's them that do this 'our wife'. A married sister to husband will be so into his marriage.
Yoruba people are always like this. Don't mind this anon. You are married and still playing useless family politics. My mama na Yoruba oh but mehn, Yoruba sister in law na die!
They can't face their families. Keep calling the shots. As Quicksilver stated, you are full of bitterness and your family is evil!
No wonder she didn't want to live near you.
Always trying to be in her face. Throwing parties. Entering her house. Advising her 'illiterate mother', showing her your family are better than hers. Please go and yansh down!
How won't you invite your own sister in law to an 'extended family ' gathering?
Who says your mother is peaceful? If she dey peaceful, why hasn't she forgiven? She won't even take her own grandchildren.
Let me tell you, my grandmother suffered in the hands of her daughter in law, even starved but today, she loves her children and accepts her politely. That is peaceful!
How can you even buy things for her kids and her husband and not for her. Sending her clear sign of hatred. Just because she didn't want to live in Lere and be your puppet?
All these middle classed Yoruba families living in Surulere, Yaba, Ebutte Metta always act up.
You travel abroad, you don't use wood to cook my foot!
Please face your family and leave that woman and extended family politics. Mummy's girl. Bitter soul.
And please don't tell us she did anything more. If it's true, I know you, loud mouth. You for don pour am out. Just that house thing. Why should a mother be the chief person looking for house for her son? Una lucky sey una no marry woman like Okija wife, una for know sey Cameroon pepper pass atagungun.
Poster 1. Learn to seek God for yourself.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. You haven't even married the guy and you are already digging up non - existent issues. What if you were an only child? Mother in laws are humans with emotions too haba! Pls treat her as you would your own mother and do not make your intended chose between you two.
Poster 1, go ahead and tell him your mind. You are not a baby anymore. He might even be weary of telling you anything in that respect because of the way you guys drifted apart before. There is no harm in trying and if I were you, I would ask him now that we are seeing each other again, what are we really doing? Then you can let him know your mind based on his answer. Good luck
ReplyDeletePoster 2, as long as you are not living with her, no wahala. You should know that marriage comes with a lot of compromises and the reasons your fiance gave as to why he wants it that way are valid and reasonable if I must add. Would you rather prefer to leave your children in the care of a maid? Or you want to stop working when you get married? Please apply wisdom
Pls tell her
DeletePoster 1,my pastor told Me same but the said guy can trouble for africa so I am asking God to rewrite d script
ReplyDeletePoster, 2,dont mind Stella she married a white man , d mother does not have any right to interfere but black mother's collect the rights without asking
Lmao... @rewrite script
DeleteP1- there's nothing wrong in asking him where you guys are heading to!why did he call you afterall?
ReplyDeleteP2- you have gotten somany negative stories avout MIL and that is your fear. some MILs are very nice and if she is one, when you start having your kids you will understand better cos its not easy for a career woman.that shouldn't stop your marriage
@poster 1 ,am in your shoe share but I have decided to tell him my mind is better than waiting and assuming OK, @ poster 2 there is nothing wrong with it.
ReplyDeleteSee ehn P1...a lady will always know wen a man is into her. Dere r some men that just need a lil bit of pushing, u can tell. While dere r some that no amount of pushin will work or better still wat happened in 1853 will happen again. So wise up. When he's not d only man in d world.
DeletePoster #2, u are in a very dicey dilemma and u have to be very careful. Ur MIL is not ur mother so no matter how u treat her, der will still be some slightly manageable issues. She will never disown her son for ur sake, so it’s not abt if it were ur mother living nxt to u. with dat said, ur husband is very right abt his mom taking care of the kids, oh dat aspect comesssssssssss in very handy dat u cannot imagine, but pls don’t give room for her making dinner for u & hubby, dats a no no no no. Living in a rented apartment is not small issues oo. Hmm infact landlord/landlady will frustrate u, wat if ur husband or you lose ur job and u can’t afford to pay rent again, where r u gonna move to, is it the stress of tenants coming to knock on ur door cos ur car is blocking ders and dey want to go out, is it the fact dat ur tenants generator might be at ur room window or u av a tenant that leaves his/ her gen on overnight, or a tenant that throw compound party every wknd.
ReplyDeleteLiving next to ur mother –in-law could be very dreading, but it all depends on hw u manage the relationship from the onset. Dnt take things for granted, don’t start what u can’t finish by giving room to soo many unnecessary factors e.g (cooking for you, going to her house every minute, telling her all that is going on in ur home, going to parties with her, gossiping abt people with her, giving room to her guests to sleep over in ur house cos her place is filled, going der to collect onions or rodo, cooking for her den wen u av issues u stop, taking ur visiting friends to go greet her, telling her ur daily/weekly itinerary & most important of all she must never be called to settle u and ur husbands issues or u reporting her son to her) u av to act like she not living close and hubby should never cultivate the habit of going to eat or to unwind when u guys r having issues. Be ready for her complains abt she doing u a favor by babysitting and u don’t seem to appreciate it even when u do. Don’t forget ur wife duties bcos she is babysitting; buying her Ankara or bedsheet, slippers or drinks, or fruits, or food stuff, or provisions once in a while to say thank you.
I stay close to mine so trust me I knw 100% what u asked and wat am saying.
Now. I understand better. Poster 2 read this. Discard others. Manage ur relationship well
DeletePoster 1, let him do the toasting so as to avoid another chronicle on unreciprocated love. Is he the only medical doctor in this world? You can only give him hints not directly asking him out. Be friends with him, if he has such interest in you he'll let you know. Don't be too pushy about it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Learn to compromise. At least she isn't living in the same house with you. Haba!
@Poster1: Please don't be overtly motivated by what your pastor has said and even if it were true there are a lot of doctors out there you could end up with. Doesn't have to be your ex. Just my two cents.
ReplyDelete#1, Give it a 2nd chance. Hear what he has to say first.
ReplyDelete#2, I will advise you not to stay close to your MIL. Forget all this likeness, her son comes first before you. And there will be interference from her because she will be looking after your kids. You cannot expect an elder taking care of your kids not to have any say in some decisions making in your home ... When she is not a paid nanny. Trash out this issue well before you tie the knots because after the wedding, you will have no choice than to abide by his decision. Best of luck.
Nitty.
Nitty nwa-amama I concur with u on poster two. Enough said!
DeleteHe has asked u out again abi, ehn continue the relationship, 2 month in ask him where it's going. Tell him ur fears about his emotion unavailability, I'd the brother can't give a good answer u better move on.
ReplyDeleteP1, you can ask him if he's ready to settle because you are and you would know what's up from there. P2, I swear you don't have an issue.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:-I tink u sld b careful.he has nt said anytin to u,so allow him.play along wit him.he is already aware u love him.dis time he has to take d initial step.urs is to kip getting close to him wit d airm of knowin more abt him.u guys av bn apart for some Time nw so a lot has happened.just kip close and see wat he has in stock for u.don't put ur heart bt ur head in2 it yet.pray also,don't just depend on wat d prophet said.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:-I've bn close to ur mil long b4 u started datin ur fiancé.wat den is ur problem? D truth at some point u will appreciate her livin close to u.if she is nt pestering u,y worry?u can't change a person,it's u dat has to work on ur self on hw to deal wit d issue.
patience is d word.....
ReplyDeletethrs one big problm about askin a Nigerian guy out..it usually gts to hs head nd he wl start feeling soo impoortant nd wl evn tk u for granted..poster one av bn in dis kinda situation bfor..i was soo crazy about dis guy,its nt lyk i technically askd hm out..i just gave hm sm green lights nd we started datin..it dnt evn last more dn 4months d guy started feeling too important so i dumped his sorry ass..to prove to hm dt hs nt evn worth d stress nw we dnt evn talk to eachoda cos bfor we started datin we were best of frends bt rtyt nw we dnt evn comunicate in anyway..so my dear poster one u beta trade carefully ..mind hw u follow dis guy nd hw u gv hm sm green lights ..if he really loves u it has to cm frm hm..be careful cos dis kinda relatinship can hurt badly..its beta to marry a guy who loves u more dan d one u love more cos at d end of d day if h knws u love hm more..my dear u ar goin to suffer it...be wise nd dnt be desperate cos of wt d pastor told u,he myt be wrong...nof said..#udo
ReplyDeleteStella,is your mother in law Nigerian? is your mother in law the same as this lady's?
ReplyDelete@SMART, please stop deceiving yourself ok. You can never change God's word so you better get matured first before thinking of marriage. Whoever told you that you, your wife and MIL are one?
ReplyDeleteThe word of God says, if you can't read, "Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and shall cleave to his wife and they two (you & wife) shall become one. Its the same way your kids will leave you both and cleave to their spouses so its a cycle.
Be wise my dear
Pam says so
I would personally say do not contact him. Do not tell him. He should do the pursuing this time if he is really into you. It is hard as I have been in a similar situation were a guy I was head over heels in love with no dey bulge. By the time he reached out to me I je jely followed him without iganga. At the end of the day he only wanted to have sex with me. When I refused he pushed me to one side. I was so so angry that he did not share the same feelings, that in my next relationship I didn't have any feelings for the guy. It was purely (angry) pleasurable sex.
ReplyDeleteJust tread carefully. You are not totally in control of your sense when you are in love. For marriage, you need to use your brain too.
If you want him back, let it be because you still have feelings for him and not because of what your pastor said. I don't believe in going to someone else to tell me about my future. I have God to show me the way.
The giveaway bag isn't ugly na.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI’m Mallen residing in Ireland, I have been a whole long going through family and divorce issues..thanks to Dr. Zuma, A spell caster i saw good review about on http://marriagesolution.webs.com, She was the one that bring back my beloved wife and my 2kids after divorce. I know I was a pain in the butt, very nervous and emailing to my family, but i realize all my mistake when i found out i was alone. I need to bring my family together and have a perfect life because i truly loved my wife though i had a co-worker who was seducing me,. But the spell caster I met used his spell to bring my life together. I am so sorry for not being more easy to work with and constantly nagging Thank you Dr. Zuma, and most of all thank you to gods, who I know helped me so much. I strongly recommend this templeofsolution@yahoo.com if you need help, the spell may take a couple of days to work and he will tell you that, like he did to me, but it will work. You just need to trust in your heart, the Spirits and the process. I couldn’t have done it without this means because my wife was furious with me and never wanted to see me. But now, It’s the reverse. Thanks.
@Belle, thank you.
ReplyDelete#Epistle comment alert#
I believe every MIL was once a young wife, and must have complained about her own husband's mother one way or the other. So no woman is a saint in this matter. I believe we all love our mothers and overlook their imperfections, as they overlook ours and love us unconditionally, but do their DILS see them with the same eyes as us? or Do they love their DILS un-conditionally? CAPITAL N-O! NO!
She is asked, if it is her own mother nko? The truth is that no wife wants her own mother to live with her either! Because she will find faults with her husband, but will only complain to her daughter, which will put her on a self defense, or starts to resent her secretly, or be blaming her hubby for not covering some of his flaws, or try to change him to please her mother, which will not augur well with him. And every wife's mother wants her daughter's home to be peaceful, and not to be held responsible for breaking her home.
Hence, mothers will rather help their daughters to build her home in anyway they could ... financially, prayerfully, morally and physically. But the MIL's interest is for her son solely! After all, he is the head of the family, and can marry many wives as he likes shebi? So, the wife's sole duty is to satisfy him, and her, to find favour in her eyes! But at what expense? Thus, a wife will continue to displease herself to make everybody happy!
People think men don't complain about their own MILS? Go and mingle with them during their boys' night out, then you will know the nick names they call their MILS! Just that, they don't show it, since, they are not involved directly in running the affairs of the home.
Theirs is to bring money. It is wives, that will cook, clean, and care for every body at home. All her life will revolve around her husband, children and MIL. While the man can go out of the house and come back anytime, without being questioned. Can a wife do that?
The truth is that, so much, emotional pressure is on women! This is more strenuous than financial, because it can lead to a mental breakdown, if not well managed.
Humans are territorial, just like animals, and will do anything to prevent anybody from encroaching on their turf. So, every wife wants to protect her matrimonial home from any form of interference from anybody, be it her mother or MIL. Any sensible woman will respect herself, and face her business, if she does not want see-finish from her DIL and SIL.
The irony of it all is that women are both mothers and MILS! We all want our daughters and sons to have a happy marriage with loving, caring and dedicated spouses. Our loyalty is with our daughters rather than with our son-in-law. Likewise, for our sons than our daughter-in-law. So, you see people, it is a VICIOUS CYCLE!
We should rather, treat each issue with it's our peculiarity and entity. Some spouses are good, and some are bad. Likewise, some in-laws are good and some are bad. There is a popular Yoruba adage: It is better to have good in-laws and a bad spouse, rather than bad in laws and a good spouse.
Nitty.