Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

CHOOSING MR RIGHT/AVAILABLE

Hello Stella,

I need the advice of blog visitors...And I love you...you are the realest blogger out there....

Ok so let me go straight to the point. I am 25 years. 2 years ago I was married to a man, however we didn’t take time to know ourselves before getting married and as such the first year was very challenging. I felt crippled and dissatisfied with life as he didn’t want to do anything until I had given him a baby.

I left him to come back to my home country (we were living abroad) and he later sent divorce papers. It was one of the most tumultuous times in my life and no 24 year old has to go through that.

I had no job, no money, no marriage, heck I didn’t even have a degree.

But God has seen me through. Things are looking good for me and I am slowly coming out from that dark phase in my life.

Now the dilemma.

I have officially been separated for close to 2 years and I think I am ready to start dating or should I say to enter a serious relationship. I have 3 guys on my case now. Find a description of them below

Mr.. F: He is a doctor residing in Europe. I knew him when he was in medical school and we tried dating but I guess I was too young. I was 16 and he was like 23! We have always stayed in touch ( you know those random ‘hi's’ on facebook every 3 months). He got married to a white woman and soon after I also got married. They have a son now. Last year,  he visited my home country( In Africa) for a short holiday and we met for Lunch. We ended up having more Lunches and I opened up to him about my situation. He also opened up to me about how he is about moving out from him and his wife’s apartment and that they will soon divorce.

Based on our similar status, and how connected I felt to him, we started dating. It would soon turn out that the strain of his profession and the nature of our relationship (long distance) will break us apart. We have tried to get back on so many occasions but I think the problem is we are both not that committed. Recently he has been asking for a second chance or should I say a last chance as he wants us to be more focused and take our relationship to the next step

Mr H: He is an engineer with a top firm in the US. He was very much into me when he met me initially but after I revealed my situation, he calmed down. His reason was that I should have outrightly told him everything. We didn’t speak for a while but we started speaking a few months back. He makes a lot of promises but has not made any actions.  He also hasn’t out rightly stated his intentions towards me but but talks about future plans with me. We talk a lot and he is always encouraging me, and well making BIG promises.

Mr. S: I met just met him recently. He is just a student but has done more for me than the 2 working guys combined. He recently helped me secure a visa to Europe and we plan on spending time together and taking the next step in our relationship. He practically treats me like a queen. He is very reliable, he always means his words, he is thoughtful and also very kind. Even though economically, he may not be at the level I so desire in my dream man, I hope to stick with him and work hard so we grow together

Now the question is, if I was your sister, which of these 3 men would you ask me to date since I am at a point where I want to concentrate on one guy.

Hmmmm!!...YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY BUSY!!!

From what you say here,if it is you have described then choose MR S.

leave the other two alone,they are carrying baggage heavier than the one you ran away from.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

ORIGINAL BAD BOY GONE GOOD NEEDS ADVICE

Dear Aunty Stella,

 I’m a young man working in the UK with a great paying job. I’m getting older and finding an ideal partner has been a task extremely hard. I feel sometimes it maybe because reckless younger days while in Nigeria. I was definitely one of the original “baby boys” before the term was coined lol. 

Any girl I tend to meet always has a “comma” meaning one story or issue must come up. I’ve had the beautiful ones either they are crazy (nor be small crase), liars or probably been with one well known celeb or two.

 Before you say who am I to judge them lol I’m definitely not in a position to judge but would you settle down with someone who has been with well-known people in the Nigerian society? Especially when you mingle with them from time to time? As for me sha I nor fit !!!

So with time I thought to myself maybe I’m being a bit shallow and only concentrating on women who are extremely beautiful not that all women aren’t, but LEVEL PASS LEVEL. So I downgraded a bit and tried going for personality, Omo na that personality babe do me strong tin. Left me extremely heart broken..

I went back to my “baby boy” ways for a short time, but realised I was only deceiving myself because it was no longer something I found fun. The situation is so dire that I believe like a hex/curse has been put on me that anytime I meet a woman.. She’ll always give me grief.

Any advice for me?

Mr N