REPLY TO FIRST BLOG VISITOR NARRATIVE 16TH MAY 2015
Hello, I am a reader of your blog but i do not make comments, I am writing to you because the first blog visitor narrative of yesterday 16th May 2015 sounds familiar. Would it be possible to know the location of the blog visitor, well not the exact location but the country and maybe the region within the country. The reason is because it sounds like she is referring to my boyfriend. I am not looking to cause any trouble, just to see if she's talking about the same person so i can warn her about the liar she's about to get serious with and to confront him too because he's been lying to me about a certain girl, based on the story, the timeline fits. If possible, please let me know,if you are the poster of the story,please send Stella an email and we will take it from there,if not, then there's no problem.
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NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MARRIED TO A SPOUSE WHO HAS A PHD IN VERBAL ABUSE
Stella.
I'm writing to you today because you seem to be my only outlet.
I've been married for 2years and half and I must confess that these are like the worst years of my life.My marriage has been the exact opposite of what I expected.My hubby was this really nice,jovial guy when we were dating but as soon as we got married,his other side began to show.
The kind of emotional abuse I'm going through can better be imagined.Just a few weeks after our wedding,he started complaining about everything I did even really trivial things.Initially,I was willing to endure but now I'm so depressed because things have only got worse.The only thing left is for him to start hitting me.There is no week we don't have something to quarrel about.He'll keep malice with me for days until I beg whether I'm wrong or not.
At the moment he hasn't spoken to me for 10days yet we sleep in the same bed.
He just gets up in the morning and leaves.I sent him a message for us to talk heart to heart and he ignored it then when I tried talking to him this morning he didn't even look at me.I contribute to our family financially, cook the meals,clean the house,take care of our daughter and I hardly ever hear anything like 'well done'.
All I get is 'You're adding too much weight','You don't know how to do anything' or 'You better start preparing hard for your professional exams or you'll end up a housewife'.No encouragement whatsoever.I go out of my way to surprise him with gifts all the time to keep the sparks,cook his favorite meals and generally be the good wife but he is just too difficult.
Right now I'm very depressed and I have no more strength to fight for the marriage.Everything just seems to be slipping away.We're not like the average couple more like slave and master.I'm just exhausted.
So sorry about the long write up.I just want to know your opinion and those of the BVs.
Thank you so much
You said he wasnt like this when you got married?he was nice and jovial?what could have changed him?is he going through some financial problem?anyway its no excuse to use you as a verbal punch bag.
There must have been signs that you ignored,blinded by love.
He is probably re-living the environment he grew up in!
Perhaps you both need some time apart to re-evaluate your marriage.
The next time he comes to you for sex,bring up this topic in a nice way
............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
MARRIED TO AN ABUSIVE SPOUSE WHO IS ADDICTED TO SEX AND LIES
Good day Stella!i thank God for you,your blog has become like a home to many..
I got married in 2011 and have a son.even though the whole marriage thing started rough due to lack of acceptance from my hubbys family,we pulled through....
The problem now is my hubby,he is a sex addict and serial cheat. After my sons delivery,i caught him with our maid,not fully in the act buh fondling and touching her.After all the drama that followed,i even left the house for a while then later decided to forgive him.About 6months later,i caught him the same way with his sales girl and that also went the same way.
About two days ago,he repeated the same thing with his sisters maid,even though he denies it, I know he did it due to previous cases.meanwhile he's also a hot tempered person and has beaten me a couple of times..I am so ashamed to even talk about him. I really need advice on what to do..thanks.
He initiates sex with Domestic workers,beats you up,lies as well?
I really dont know if you want good advice or bad advice....depends on how you look at it.
You are married to a VERY sick man who needs help!!
GET HIS FAMILY INVOLVED Before his libido gets him into trouble or you pack your bags and RUN.
This is my opinion.
N0 2 na real wah!
ReplyDeleteAunty STella run to where? Wat if she have no where to run to or money to support hersef?
Delete@Poster with hubby that keeps malice, you need to ignore him and focus on you. Make yourself happy, hit the gym to look good for yourself, do what makes you happy, then continue to pray to God about it. He is used to you begging him up and down, rubbish.
DeletePoster with serial cheat hubby, borrow some sense+legs o else sorry will be your name. And because his family was against the marriage earlier, don't know if they will help you to talk to him o.
Jesus fix it
Delete****LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*****
Poster 2
DeleteTime to press ur *ignore* button
Men like him deserves what u call *mirror back*! If he keeps malice with u for 10days, help him add 10 more days when he is ready to speak with u...
Do not be scared of what he might do when u mirror back. Reasons: there is nothing he will do that wasn't what he already wanted to do or been doing.
God is ur strength! It may not be easy for u (as per young marriage). Buh, if u really wanna be happy in that marriage and with a man like that; u must toughen up...
All d best
Poster 3
DeleteI hate dirty men!!!
Any man that fiddles with helps, orange sellers, teenagers etc I despise them with a passion *spits*
Honestly, I feel sorry for u...
Just like poster 2, toughen up!!!
It is time to look him in the eyes and set ur rules, if he can't abide; pls find something doing and stay away from that man.
Men like him will make u to become paranoid and a semi yabaleft* patient!
All d best
@poster2 : start ignoring him.
DeleteDevelop a thick skin n stop letting his words get to you.
@poster3 : your husband needs help asap.
He isn't normal, he needs deliverance.
Poster 2 sound like u married my ex. He likes them young and naive. I was 16 wen we started dating but I left him when I realised he goes after secondary sch girls, sales girls etc. I just knew there is no way I can marry him and I ran on time. He normally jokes that all these JS3 girls that if u finger them, ur hand will still be clean. My dear nothing is wrong wit u, u are simply old for him and he is no more attracted to u. When I turned 19 he started hunting for another 16yr old wit uniform to finger. Divorce him, he won't change, he will sleep wit ur daughter when she turns 13, it's a sickness and he can't help it.
DeleteSigh! Can't deal abeg.
DeletePlease focus on urself poster 2,I can imagine wat u av bin thru. Pls stop letting his words get 2 u.ignOre him and. Do things 2 make u busy.hang out,read books,etc I recommend. This book for u act like a lady :think like a man.cheers
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteMarriage is for better and for worse...deal with it,this is your worst time....
I would advise you ignore your husband totally...
There are times you wouldn't want to talk or be with someone and I think your man is going through the phase now...
Leave him alone and ignore him period!!...and work on your weight...
Who knows,he might be seeing a slim shady that is sharking him at the moment...
Poster 2,
Hmmm,I can't accept a man beating me...God forbid...
Biko leave that dog you call a husband before he gives you AIDS...
Can you imagine....
Exactly.Ignore your hubby and repackage yourself.
DeleteDo NOT go that extra mile to make him happy. Cook your normal meals,serve him,then channel all the attention and energy to your child.
2years and he is behaving this way?. What of when you guys are old and grey?.
Ask me ooooh.
DeleteSome men though
Hian! Is marriage not for better and for worse? Y should poster 2 leave? Lol. But Ehn Linda so u can give such sweet advice? Kudos.
DeletePoster 1 n 2 may God help u. But always remember, whatever ure going tru ure not alone in it. Many ve passed tru and ve conquered. U too can do same.
Poster 2 good wife, so sm1 is ignoring you nd yet still eats ur food, I don't even understand where d gut came from sef,how can you ignore me, abuse me nd still eat my food or even ask for sex sef, abeg I can't deal, by the time I stop feeding you, I swear na you go brake the silence.
DeleteLinda kwa?
DeleteI've run out of advice for chronicle posters and marriage wahala.
ReplyDeleteMay Jesus fix your homes!
I'm with you, bloglord... I don tire to dey advise. May God help all of you.
DeleteMe too... May God heal your troubled homes and hearts ..Amen
DeletePoster 1: strt ignoring ur hubby jare! What's it? Some men are so childish to keep malice for more than 2 days abeg! My dear if u start ignoring him,he will feel remorseful and strt talking to u. By doing this pls dnt stop ur duties as a wife,bt ignore him and watch if he won't change.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: u are married to a sick DOG? Wat kind of efulefu did u marry?Pls he's Nt a husband jare bt a sick idiot! Call a family meeting and tell them
waat ur husband is doing,without their intervention I dnt think dat dog will change! Your husband can sleep with his biological daughter cos he has no self control nd taste . Tufiakwa
Gbam @ poster. My husband was like your husband. I use to beg and cry for his forgiveness whether he is right or not, the more i beg the more he kept malice.
DeleteI work up one day and said enough is enough. Started ignoring his silly behaviour. We kept malice for two months. Though I always say good morning to him and that was it.
Nobody told him to change.
Just ignore him , he will come around.
Doris.
1] Nne take it to God in prayer, there's nothing too hard for God! Keep fit, study hard so you won't fail and be a housewife! Find a way to make yourself happy so you won't die before your time!
ReplyDeleteIf you die, before 2months he'll bring in another woman to replace you... His excuse...you know men can't take care of children by themselves nah! And your own story is finished....just like that!!
I just tire for marriage of nowadays, I dunno what exactly men want from women! They're never satisfied at all... I just tire
2] My dear you're in a hot soup! I no na ofe di oku.. Sleeping with maids...even the dirty ones sef yuck!
I don't know what to tell you but to pray he changes, if not you leave him for good before he infects you with one deadly disease biko kwa!!
Madam poster 2. Run away. I repeat run away. U deserve much more. U deserve to be happy. Leave that serial cheater. U don't need to fix a broken man. Leave him alone please.
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeletePls give us more details. You sound stubborn and lazy. I hate fat with a passion, so if u were fit and you are now fat, u will be receiving verbal remarks from me constantly. Get fit.
Poster 2
Your husband looks wretched. It is easy to know bcos if he has money, he will be buying more expensive classy pussies.
These chronicles shd serve as a lesson to girls who rush into marriage, thinking that's the ultimate degree in life. There are real problems and if u like, let problems not be ur portion or let ur God be a living God that loves only u; when real problems come, u will see it in full glory.
Stella:
Adviser of the universe. You often talk on a lot of things you know nothing about. Too bad. Stick to blogging pls
Let me go to toilet and then read comments.
May you choke on the pungent smell of yo shit
DeleteU r just as stupid as ur blog id. Efule....fu
DeleteI must say since I started noticing ur comment this is the best thing Uve ever typed, "These chronicles shd serve as a lesson to girls who rush into marriage, thinking that's the ultimate degree in life. There are real problems and if u like, let problems not be ur portion or let ur God be a living God that loves only u; when real problems come, u will see it in full glory"
DeleteWho's this new bastard here.remmemeber u have a mother ooo.may God punish u
DeleteSee this Idiot o! I hate fate big belly men too. Once I notice my hubby adding weight, he is going on stir fry veggies straight. Gone are the days women look good for their men, it works both ways now!
DeleteYes it works both ways now. U dis money makes u wateva. U sound like a usless nigga who can't N won't kip hisI one place. U said poster 1 sounds stubborn and lazy. I hope u nor married cus I pity ur wife
DeleteP1 with the abusive husband, he has always been that way. It didn't start today. P2...he sleeps around and beats you? There must be a Mrs trophy waiting for you somewhere.
ReplyDeleteNa wah oh!
ReplyDeletePhew!
Where do some women get their husbands from?
Who raised these men?
Phew!
Hmmmmm...... who raised these men?
DeleteMothers please train your boys well.
You are one to talk?
DeleteYour sexcapedes is still fresh in our minds.
Pretender.
Bloglord and general wife seriously tainted this Lady.anon you know that gist is a lie, why bring it up?
DeleteIts like you read my mind Genny baby, that's d exact same question I asked after reading d second post.
DeleteAnother thing I want to add is that I dont know the kinda churches these people attend (that's if they are christians). Dont they do pre-marriage counselling? Because they will tell you that the first years are quite challenging.
Hmmnnn....
Like seriously who raised these men!!!d society pays a lot of attention on d girl child n forgets the male child totally,we hv too many ill mannered men littered everywhere,wen we were growing up my parents wud scold n spank my brother anytime he bullies any one of his sisters,even abusive words cud earn him a good beating nd he was d only son amidst 4 girls,he ws taught dt women r special n shd b treated accordingly,ofcource he hs grown into one hell of a gentleman,mothers pls let's concentrate on both sexes,let's stop making dem feel like dey r more special dn girls,we need to stop raising 'bad' men
DeleteStellaKORK I like this your new reply attitude. Good to see your replies are not laced with feminine sentiments like before. this is impressive. Keep it up the social entrepreneur.#winks
ReplyDeleteOga I hope you have repented from your cheating ways. Focus your love and attention on your wife at home before someone else helps you. Useless men everywhere mtsheeeew.
DeleteStella person hold u for leg, abeg release sun laugh comment nah?
ReplyDeleteOur dear self acclaimed no.1 blogger in Nairaland should go and roast in shame. 'Copy-catting' and still hating.... RUMOUR HAS IT..... that my own leads, yours copy
ReplyDelete'RUMOUR HAS IT' is the brain child of our love and hustle for this ministry..
DeleteEven though we cannot patent it, it only confirm the allegations that u feed fat on people's sweat.
U have a great look and figure, go try finish your modeling career. Stop the copy. Anuofia!
Lol,u r on a wrong blog o.u don miss road
DeleteWho let thus dog out? Woof
Anon 15:19, get thee behind us. We know who you are. Stay in your domain and get busy and stop sneaking in here biko. You all claim to be educated and civilized yet you keep acting like one mgbeke snooping where u claim not to belong.
DeleteThis is Linda ikeji!!! Stupid idiot. Better face ur work and stop coming here to drop comments under anonymous.
DeleteP1, since all you have done isn't working, why not call a family meeting. There could be something he's not telling you. P2, if you still love him and want him, take his case to Lord in prayer. He needs deliverance. A man sleeping with his house help is the lowest if low a man can get. He's highly indiscipline and dirty
ReplyDeletePoster 1 please talk to Him and U will be surprised
ReplyDeletePoster 2 mbok leave dat toxic marriage before person go bring disease come 4 U o
Poster 1...am not yet married but I ve been in a relationship with a guy dat gives the verbal abuses and then follows with the silent treatment...like stella said maybe u thut marriage cud him,cos that type of attitude doesn't hide,it got to a stage my self esteem was zero...I had to sit down and give mysef serious talk,cos the bas***d was even cheating on me,so I walked out,e do am like film trick...even my prsent relationship is also going dat way and I ve let the bros knw dat it's not going to work.....anyway urs is marriage things and my only advice is for u to put him in prayer...verbal abuse kills a woman emotionally more dan d beatings,watch out for when he is in a gud mood,talk to him calmly,he's ur husband and try to stand up for ur self,you are not a slave...God will help you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2...sorry but ur husband needs deliverance
Poster 1: Ghen ghen
ReplyDeletePoster 2: There are always signs we ignore it in our desperation to marry. These men are worse than physical abuse as they batter your self esteem, he has made his choice make yours
Sick if advising grown women to love themselves.
Poster 3: stay and die with a beater and a cheat, I must marry by force
Lot of stories that touch......the heart
ReplyDeleteNarr. 1 give him space jare. Go to his parent's place with ur daughter, stay there for while. Maybe he'll miss you and want to discuss your issues as soon as you return.
ReplyDeleteNarr 2. Am sure you saw these traits in him b4 you married him but you decided to overlook them to focus on what mattered to you then (his family's endorsement/acceptance) this is very typical of desperate women who feels marriage is everything and feel it must happen by all means. Forgetting there's life after wedding and then marital status "mrs" is worth it if and only if you marry your soulmate. Madam, seek the face of the Lord in fasting and prayers. Forget about involving his family members as Stella advised, they will just put petrol for you. Jesus is the answer.
Poster One: You need to give him some mind blowing anal sex that will make him speak in tongues. He will behave himself after that.
ReplyDeletePoster Two: You need to give him some mind blowing anal sex that will make him speak in tongues. He will behave himself after that.
Bwahahahahaha
DeleteThis one don kolo!
Lmao that's all!
DeleteNarr 1: plz and plz, any relationship that is driving u to depression my dear, just give it a break. Depression will first lead u to insomnia, then u start having minor symptoms of bipolar(which is too bad for u), then if care is not taken it might be suicidal.... I am so telling u from experience. anybody can pretend, but having issues with ones spouse be it boyfriend or husband is d worst nightmare u can think of..... mostly when u r trying so hard to make it work. nne give urself a break plz o! Plz. My candid opinion/advice.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: ur husband sure has what I call "leviticus" problem..... beat u, cheat on u, lie to u! I dunno bout u o! For me, that's way too much to take and live with. Now I believe change is indeed permanent.... from a loving husband to a very bad strange husband. Dear Jesus plz if u r reading dis, fix it! Amen.
**Spreads Rug waiting for comments**
ReplyDeleteOdiegwu, ife n'eme.
Last poster your husband is SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK. He needs deliverance, the witches in his village must be grinning from ear to ear.
second poster... Am sorry to hear about your situation. please continue to be the good wife that you are and try to persevere, lose weight if you can. something is making your husband not happy around you, it could be the weight thing...perhaps you could make an effort to lose weight. Please dont leave your home. your marriage is very young and you can still work things out. you know your man well. try to look past the negatives and stay happy, make him happy in more ways. talk to him even if he wont answer. theres nothing bad in telling him to "Have a nice day" when he is leaving the house(even if he wont answer).. atleast you said it and his conscience will keep reminding him. send him text messages during the day. dont deny him sex, that will make him have an excuse to cheat... My Lady, please just try to be the more mature one when the abuse, insults and malice comes up(talk to him when his keeping malice). please dont think about leaving your home.. whatever is making your husband sad around you wont last, it will pass someday. pray about it too. you dont need to go about telling people. just try your best to be happy and persevere. I pray you wont leave your home.
ReplyDeleteHow do you allow a man that doesn't speak to you, treats you badly and generally goes out of his way to make you miserable, how do you open your vagina for such a man to penetrate? All in the name of being a good wife. Deep down you know your relationship is strained yet you allow him sex you and come inside your body and you dont feel disgusted by that. I doff my heart to Nigerian women who would do anything and take every rubbish from men, all in the name of staying married! God forbid!
DeleteMy dear anon 26:13, if you talk too much they will say it's because you can't get a husband and because you are jealous. But sometimes the narratives here make me more scared to step into dt marriage thing. I don't know who is at advantage here whether it's the married or single. Being single makes me lack things like affection but if being married will make me go mad, I better keep hustling fir myself without having to seek one idiot's consent o.
DeleteThat's all crab, just ignore him and do as if he isn't in existence sef.may be you're too calm that's why.my hubby was like that telling me am adding weight meanwhile the pics one foolish girl sent to him with big stomach and fallen breast, and he is here complaining of mine that just put to bed, my breast is far better than the girl and my stomach then wasn't even a match cos it was flat.
DeleteTo think that the foolish girl sent the pics with her face showing.don't know why girls won't learn.
after seeing that I activated my stubborn button and I could care less about his rant and complain.
Not until one day, he called me to the room and apologized. But yet my stubborn button is still on.that doesn't stop me from being a good wife.
ladies beware of all this men staying abroad please don't say because he calls you at night abroad time, that means he isn't married. The life over here makes it had for spouses to spend more time together , because while one person is working, the other have to watch over the kids.hence the opportunity to chat, call and commit all forms of atrocities online.
So ignore him abeg and make yourself happy.he will stop when he is tired
2@, ignore ur hubby completely, I think u are giving him too much attention, he's an over grown baby, reactivate ur social life that is if you ever had any, and if u are adding too much weight abeg stop.
ReplyDelete@3, u want to wait until he gives u Hiv or Ebola before u run , marriage is to be enjoyed u hear,get out of dat house before he kills you, I advice u get yourself a sugar boy. Why don't I envy married women.
@poster three.....hian !!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 1 and 2 this is coming from an experienced christian married woman Pack your bags and run. I mean RUN. Pray foe him from your comfort zone. Trust me living like that is going to affect your relationship with God. You will harbour grudges, strife n unforgiveness. With all this you cant even pray or be the best mum to your kids. Please leave and pray from outside. Poster 2 you e caught him with house girls????? And he still comes back and put his thing inside you????? WAKE UP! HIV is real.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 how is you sex life , personal appearance since you had your child? I don't thinks it's an excuse but some mean are quite funny when it comes to things like this. work on your self and read for your exams do things that would distract you from thinking and fighting.
ReplyDeleteHow do you allow a man that doesn't speak to you, treats you badly and generally goes out of his way to make you miserable, how do you open your vagina for such a man to penetrate? All in the name of being a good wife. Deep down you know your relationship is strained yet you allow him sex you and come inside your body and you dont feel disgusted by that. I doff my heart to Nigerian women who would do anything and take every rubbish from men, all in the name of staying married! God forbid!
DeleteFollow Stella's advice
ReplyDeleteFlying back up to read 2nd Chronicoco
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Ignore him, he knows u r trying to get his attention,dats y he dey do like Jackie Chan. No send am at all, he go get sense.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 . People change but no matter what the signs would always manifest, my father would always say (efin niwa) in Yoruba meaning behavior or attitude is like smoke that u can bottle.
Just pray and involved his family
May Jesus fix it
ReplyDeleteJeez...i miss chronicles of hope.
ReplyDeleteShe already left, we not together. And I'm innocent of some of the accused crimes
ReplyDeleteShe already left, we not together. And I'm innocent of some of the accused crimes
ReplyDeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteIt is well. In life Jesus Christ is our redemption. If you are a Christian note that the Savior is at your side.
First off take responsibility in some of this wahala. You attract what you got.
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all His righteousness. Ask God how to put Him first in your life and your marriage.
Did you do your due diligence? Did you ignore some things during courtship? And ask your self why.
Well your husband suffers from verbal diahorrea. This brings me to a some cases in point. I have met ladies who are married. And the pious types that define their worth on peoeple's opinions.
Note to self that hopefully you haven't been meditating on verbal abuse on your husband. And in company of an unfaithful friend you blurted out this. This has happened to me time in number in the presence of married ladies. I have take this to mean there is fire on the mountain within the marriage. I noted that most of these ladies don't have a let out where to confide that their marriage is in trouble. They always make boastful stories and poke the single ladies why are they single.
If you are such a case in point my dear. One will take that opportunity and run for the money. Tell your husband marinate story story.
If I were a vindictive person I will do that. Thank God am not.
I some of the cases in point their marriages have packed, others by the Grace of God it's still standing.
My advice to some of you ladies who are still early within marriage. Please if you are not catholic and you don't have a good counselor or confidant. I beg you please just go for confession in any catholic Church and let out your frustration. No one sees your face.
This is because when you blurt out your frustration to some people. They will instead scatter your marriage. Some will pose like they are helping but will be destroying behind the scene.
Next your husband is insecure. Check yourself where you are also insecure. I hope you are not one of those who value their worth on being the only rich person in town and sit with your spouse and criticize others. This breeds room for insecurity. And to me that's why your husband wants you to look on top back in the day day so as to show off. Hiding his insecurity.
In aswell to boast his ego.
Lastly strange woman. I hope there isn't any strange woman. For the reason being he is comparing you.
Well fast and pray and be consistent and be the loving wife. All will work out. The Lord will point out where to work and restore your marriage giving you solutions.
Poster 2 and 3
Search for Lady Igo's point of view in regards to marriage in other chronicles. Hopefully she will address your situation today.
It is well In Jesus Christ Name Amen
P1 There must have been signs that your hubby was abusive but you ignored them. I was a victim of an abusive relationship, I thought things would get better but it got worse. I haven't stopped blaming myself for ignoring the signs. Considering you both have a child, you have to hang in there and work things out. It's not an easy road but persevere and you shall overcome. Does your husband have a mentor or someone he respects or listens to? That could help. He needs counseling, find a way to get someone to talk to him, continue to pray for him and please NEVER think of giving up on your marriage.
ReplyDeleteP2 I have no idea what to say to you. Yes! You married a sick man, he needs help too.
DAWN
Poster 1,i was in ur similar position my first yr of marriage,..mine was worst sef,he complained virtually of everything I did,including verbally insulting me in front of his boys,when his boys do something wrong,he will blame me,even when I don't live in d boys quarters with d boys,..dog pups in d compound,he will blame me and ask me why will I allow d dog to pup in d compound,when he already has d dogs before he married me oo,it was frustrating (mind u,we dated for 9yrs before marriage,and he wasn't like dat then) ,i had a miscarriage and he blamed me for being stupid as to have a miscarriage, it was dat bad,I prayed,fasted and prayed,but it was as if God was not hearing my cries,at a time I felt like dying(i even blamed my friends who married before me,for not warning me dat marriage was hell,cos each time i open up to my married friends,they told me to endure dat it's like dat....dat I should be happy dat my husband is still bringing in money for food),..i couldn't talk to my parents cos they didn't support d marriage in d first place due to religion differences,.. I ran to my father in law,and after he talked to my husband,my problems became doubled,(cos he started slapping me from then onward),...I woke him up one night to beg him to forgive me if I did him any wrong to warrant his treating me like his slave, and he looked at me as though am disgusting and said,..do u know u are a fool?better allow me to sleep before I descend on u dis night,.....that was when I knew I had to fight my battles myself,. first thing I did was to make sure am happy always,playing sweet inspiring music's on my phone and dancing around, secondly,i made sure am always shouting at his boys and his younger brother who was living with us,then I extended it to him,if he asks me anything I answer like I have problems with my ears, with all sarcasm,. Even when he insults me and my family,i laugh and ask him if dats all he got?,and dis made him more mad,I pretended I don't care if his mad or madder,I was too nonchalant about everything,he told me he wants a second wife,i laughed and replied him,so finally ur brain is functioning,when is she moving in?,he said she will live in a flat he already rented her,so I asked him,when his moving in with her? He said soonest and I said good, ...After like 2months he woke me from sleep,and begged me not to be like him,that I should not allow him change me,dat am a good woman and etc etc,i replied him to please allow me to sleep,cos it's only fools dat wake people up in d night (I quoted him). He just changed from dat day and started talking to me like a husband should,even buying things for me,taking permission from me before buying anything in d house,seeking my opinion in his business, praising me,even when it's not necessary.,i thought he was pretending at first and I continued my acting scene, but after 8months,i realized he has truly changed,...Now am a happy woman(his people said I used juju on their brother, but na only me know say na acting juju I use).. even though am yet to give him a child.(though my baby is on the way by God's grace),he still loves and treats me like a husband should. Poster please see if my tips will help u,ignore his talks for now and pretend u don't care any more,just build inner happiness for urself,it might make him realize ur pain,cos some men like when their wife is crying always,and it gives them d satisfaction dat they are d man,whrn in reality it makes them foolish.
ReplyDeleteGbam. 1million likes.
DeleteOh my!
DeleteForgive me, hahahahahahahaha...
This cracked me up big time!
This is exactly what poster 2 needs *mirror back*... achieving it, isn't easy (especially if u are naturally a good person), Buh the benefits later on; is super amazing...
Thank God, things are fine for u now @nnukwunwanyi
Some men sef**
My sweet Lord, Nnukunwanyi are you for real? As I was reading your acting skills I was afraid you would make matters worse. Reminds me of what ezenwanyi always hammers on here: 'Be mysterious! The more you seek his attention the more he treats you like trash! Ignore him.' You just proved her right.
DeleteWow, strong woman!
Wow!..
DeleteThis is encouraging but that it worked for you might not work for another person...
Know the kind of person your husband is before applying this poster...some men will go ahead and bring in another woman since you approved it...
Your children is on the way Nnukwu Nwanyi...
Dear fellow BV you are so on point.Trillion likes to your narrative.God bless your home
DeleteD way u all chant Leave like it's easy to leave. U don ask poster weda she get steady job? U don ask her weda d hubby won't drag d kids with her just 2 spite her? She beta find ways of ignoring dat man dan leaving cos unlike overseas where women rule d matrimonial home, here most women don't . She should just find a way and ignore dat smellos of a horseband and find something to better her live, it's nt always about leaving!
ReplyDeleteNa wao
ReplyDeletePoser 1.your hubby is acting like a kid,Pls face your exam and your baby.ignore him,when ever he decide to talk to u fine. Poster2.your hubby is a dogg,anytime he beat you again move out with your baby
ReplyDeleteMy dear posters, I think the best advise is ur own opinion oo if u ask me
ReplyDeletePpl kip posting stories n am wondering if dey don't pick advice from oda blog visitors comments. Am certain u guys know wot 2do wen d situation mk water pass garri. May God grant u both wisdom 2 mk d right decisions. P2 ur case no b here ooh.Sorry
ReplyDeleteMy darling people know what to do. However nothing unburdens your heart like sharing what is affecting you. Better still with faceless people who can advice you with laughing behind your back!
DeleteWithout* I meant
DeleteTo enter no hard, to come out is the problem cos then the woman is probably not alone again as there will already be kids.
ReplyDeleteHahaha @ take it from there
ReplyDeleteP2, no man is worth going through emotional and physical abuse for. You deserve to be happy with or without a man. Just know when to let go.
ReplyDelete#1 Ignore n try look good.
ReplyDelete#2 hot sperm man, na only God go deliver you from him.
God dey
ReplyDeletePOSTER 1, WITH the husband that verbally abuses you. PLS do not mind Stella, I repeat do not move out of ur matrimonial home, even if its for a while to give space. This is not boyfriend/girlfriend matter. Moving out allows the devil to move into ur home. Except you are sure you are not interested in d marraiage again.
ReplyDeletePLEASE STElla, watch the way you advice women to move out temporarily from their homes.
I know some men can be bastards, but what happened to working things out, im not saying be a doormat. Confide in someone you know he really respects, not necessarily family.
Smtimes we need to stoop to conquer. PRAY PRAY and PRAY some more. God can change any situation. It is only physical violence I don't condone. Just take heart and fight for ur marriage.
DERE ARE NO MEN OUT DERE, don't let ppl advice u wrongly, no1 wants a baby mama o. This is ur cross, u willingly chose, Bear it................FOREVER 16
That's why its best for a lady to be done with school and be able to stand on her fit b4 marriage or bearing kids, she can easily leave wit all dis abuse
ReplyDelete