This topic is probably what most of you are going through right now.I had a call last week from someone who has been put on hold cos of issues like this and from what she said,there seems no hope!
hmmmm!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CHURCH ISSUES AND GETTING MARRIED
God bless you for all the wonderful work you are doing and the amazing work of your blog in shaping peoples live. May the Almighty God continue to reward your
I met a lady I wish to marry but the issue we are having is the church to wed. Am from a catholic home while she is from a pentecostal home. My family are bent on us having the wedding at our church while her's are bent on us having it in their own church.
The two families can't seem to find a common ground.
We are both ok with just court and traditional wedding. Do you guyz think we should go ahead with our plans and forget about the church wedding since this is trying to bring problem between the two families.
Thanks and God bless
For IHN & CBV... Stella am with you PER-SECOND PER-SECOND
ReplyDeleteI should get a blog ID :)
Wedding should be conducted in the girls church and thanksgiving in the guys church.
DeleteIf u are both confused go to interdenominational church in ikeja. Simple
Some people believe it should be conducted in the man's church, you guys can hold 2 small weddings, or one big wedding and one private one,I know someone who wedded in 2 diff churches because of issues like this.
DeleteIn my opinion and d way I ve seen it done,its d groom's church that d wedding will take place but if it's bringing too much wahala do court n trad and end case biko
DeletePoster it depends on where you are from. If you are igbo the wedding has to be in the grooms church. While other tribes like yoruba it had to be in the brides. Goodluck.
DeletePls take your wife to marriage class,by the time she attends 2 classes,she will most likely beg to marry in the Catholic church,my hubby is a strong pentecostal,am I am 200%catholic no be for mouth,I told him I can never marry outside my faith, by
Deletethe time we attended marriage class once,he was so touched by
marriage teachings,that when marriage classes were over,he said
he wanted to receive communion on our wedding day so he
started attending baptism class,we got married peacefully in the
Catholic church, my husband is so happy that he endured the stress of catholic wedding, and to crown it all he met me a virgin at 32 , though he attends his church sometimes but he allows me do my catholic thing and he even told me he would lobe us to raise our kids in the Catholic Church,if you are a good Catholic and she sees Christ in you walahi she will follow you.you can also please her by wedding in her church later but as a Catholic it is your responsibility to wed in the holy Catholic Church, people who do not know the church are free to talk against it but you know the church and you must stand for your belief,God comes first before wife.go tell Hausa Muslim make he go wed somewhere else and see if he no go fight you.
Guy, if u argue much wt ur fiancée over an issue, I feel u shud let her have her way. Shey u saw Stella's post this morning abt the guy saying leave women to decide small issues whl men decide d major one....U don dey see am now.
DeleteAlso, u re a guy and shud not be pushed around by ur family. If u want to wed in ur church, let it be because it's ur decision, not that it's coz it's what ur parents say..abi are they the ones sponsoring the whole wedding? Learn to start protecting ur woman!
The Igbos normally wed at the guy's church while the Yorubas choose the girl's church. Wch tribe is ur girl? If she is Yoruba, pls choose her church even if u re another tribe. I attended a wedding btw a Calabar guy and a Yoruba lady, dey wedded in the girl's church. Ppl may go wt trad and court wedding, but I still like the idea of church wedding.
If u can't take a stand and no party (family) wants to give, go to an Anglican church and wed! If they ask u and ur lady, tell dem you just like the church. Lolzzz
#AmOut#
Wedding is wedding even if it's in the African shrine... spiritual
DeleteWhy do people like imposing their cultures on other people? If the wedding is usually done in the bride's church in your culture, then that's your culture and it shouldn't be set as a standard.
DeleteAll I have been seeing on this blog is "the bride's church, the bride'so church".
I am Igbo and so far, the marriage is done in the groom's church and even in the city the groom resides, where he knows people. The traditional marriage (I mean the party not the payment of bride price) is the responsibility of the bride and her family, then the white wedding is the responsibility of the man if he is the one paying for the wedding. But sometimes there are rooms for compromise and at the end it boils down to the couple.
I am only disenchanted by the way people are just asserting that it should be done in the bride's church or that "it's normally" done in the bride's church. If that's the way it is in your culture, fine but try to learn from other people as well. That's why we have social media in the first place to learn and connect. No culture is better than the other.
Na wah ohhhhhhhhhhh
ReplyDelete********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*********
Forget the church to avoid future problems
ReplyDeleteOga u re suppose to wed her in her church,dem bring her to catholic faith u do blessing of marriage later gbam
ReplyDeleteThe wedding is supposed to be in the groom's church.
DeleteBut if that will cause a problem btw the 2 family, den u both should 4get abt the church wedding.
Let me break it down for you Mr Narrator so you'll know what to do.
Delete1. Do you marry a girl traditionally in her village or yours?
Ans: hers
2. After marrying a girl, does she remain in her family or yours?
Ans: Yours!
Conclusion: Marry her in her church in the presence of God and her family then you can both attend your church after the wedding.
Where is it written that you must marry in her church ? Igbo marry in the man's church. Can't her pastor bless you guys in a Sunday ? Or vice versa. you people should put your feet down
DeleteNicole...thank you. Plain and simple explanation.
DeleteBoo cheated on me months back. I forgave him. Now wey me don cheat, he broke up with me.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmm
What is dis life?
Why did you cheat na?.
DeleteWhy?
Anyways,let me rephrase the question:
WHY DID YOU GET CAUGHT?
Hmmmm na wa
DeleteThat's how the world is dear, double standards. You should have left him when he cheated rather than enact your revenge. I can just imagine how he was begging you to forgive him . You can apologise to him if you want or you move on. Most guys find it difficult to forgive especially if you cheat . Even if he accepts you back he'll constantly use it against you , and when he cheats again (which he will), you'll be helpless because you can't complain.
DeleteWhy did you admit to the cheating?
DeleteIn Nigeria, a man can cheat as many times as he wants because he knows his desperate girlfriend or I- must-be-married-wife will always forgive. As a woman, if you even cheat once, consider that relationship or marriage over. Our men can dish out but cant take!
DeleteIn Nigeria, a man can cheat as many times as he wants because he knows his desperate girlfriend or I- must-be-married-wife will always forgive. As a woman, if you even cheat once, consider that relationship or marriage over. Our men can dish out but cant take!
Deleteyou're a stupid girl for getting caught
DeleteYou two should either have a court wedding or chose a church you want to be married in! After all you're the ones getting married not them! So make a decision and stand by it
ReplyDeleteStella,how many chronicle do we have today??...or you forgot to put the 2 in 1...
ReplyDeletePoster, as a man you should take your wife to your own church to we'd not the other way round...
Hian!!!...
Abeg give her belle joor and her parents will approve sharp sharp...
Inukwa akuko...
Were u married in a church??, who told u a man should wed his bride in his church, church weddings are normally done in the bride's church.
DeleteNormally fire. Maybe in your village not mine. Catholic church is the mother church, as for me, no Catholic church, no marriage. Ihe n'eme mee.
Deletelet your wife (to be) decide...you shouldn't be bothered about these little issues...make I refer you to the 'Happy Marriage Recipe' post if yu neva read am. lol
ReplyDeletehmmm Pentecostal and catholic wahala no be 2day story, catholics are so bent on having it their way alwys, ur peeps should chill abeg afterall d babe wud be attending ur church wen u both are married, moreover the gals church ought to be where d wedding shud take place. Court and Trad is fine buh a man of God should bless u both afterwards.. Cheers
ReplyDeleteIt's d woman that leaves her home to the man's home,so it's supposed to be in the man's church,the man. Is the head of the home. Besides,this shouldn't be a problem if this two really wants to get married,dey should sit 2geda,take a decision and both families should go with it..
DeleteCatholics, the ones that lack understanding of their faith are always bent on having the marriage in their church when it should be bride deciding. Almost made my marriage not hold even though my sister married a Catholic who did what the bride wanted and went to Catholic Church for blessing and thank giving. If I say, I regret oblidging them, I'd be understating my situation because they believe they are always right and know it all.
DeletePls make una forget that church wedding thing, its not even recognize any where, just to bless the union, the most important thing is court and traditional biko, family wahala, after them go say na one God wey de preach. Msww
ReplyDeletePoster- Organise a 2hour wedding for the catholic church. And then another for the penticostal church. This should be done in one day, so that both families would b satisfied... Court wedding should follow too, if the two of you want it too...
ReplyDeleteI rest my case...
That's how they will continue to bend backwards for their parents for the rest of eternity! What about baby dedication ?
DeleteThe Church wedding is supposed to hold in the bride's church. That's what I know and have seen done. You shouldn't even argue about this. You, the groom, what do you want? her church or yours? Make up your mind and tell your family.
ReplyDeleteBesides the church affair wont even last up-to 3hours and you want to let this ruin your wedding?
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Honestly, I don't understand why this is an issue. You aren't married to the lady yet and she is still her parents responsibility, hence the need to get married in HER PARENTS church, not even a church she attends. If you guys can't solve this issue, then face court and traditional wedding. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteThe girl is leaving her family to come and be with you, what grater show of submission is there than marrying in the man's church? Speak your own culture
DeleteGod bless your thought dear.
DeleteD last time I checkd u shud wed in d woman church!!abi????
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteYou had better marry her in the catholic church
ReplyDeleteyou are the man, she is supposed to follow you to your church.
Even if you don't do a church wedding now, when you are married, will you be going to separate churches?
Resolve this issue now before you say 'I DO"
What say U? He has not married her, so it should be done in her church den marriage blessing in his church.. #shikena
DeletePeople like you encourage egocentricism. Men should do as the bride's people want. It's the last rite they do as parent on their little girl. When she gets to his house, he can change her. Bearing in mind that even the Catholic faith frowns upon forcing your spouse to be a Catholic. Let her do it at her own free will
DeleteAngel blaze please help i need to empower myself.. even if it a loan i dont mind.. no food to eat, no job, no house, i just hang around everywhere and anywhere.. this is to much.. or r my cursed?
ReplyDeleteBut have you both decided which church you'd be attending when you become husband an d wife?
ReplyDeleteIf you both have made that agreement, then sstick to court and trad to avoid family brouhaha and then proceed to attending whichever church you both have decided while married.
There are many ways to kill a rat without shedding blood. Device one !
Spot on!!!
DeleteYour happiness and wife happiness depend on both of you. Your way or their ways. choose 1.
ReplyDeletei think both should forget the church wedding for now and go and do the traditional and court wedding.
it is very well. Families wahala. control husband control wife, they dont get tired.
i think its better to do the wedding in the girls church..then after that you both will decide if she will be attending your not or not
ReplyDeletewww.glowyshoe.blogspot.com
do the walking while your shoe does the talking
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You should decide before the wedding ! Your wife should go to your church please
DeleteIf both parents agree on court and traditional wedding,fine!
ReplyDeleteIGBO people are so manipulative and egocentric no apologies
Deletela wa o! *in I go dye's voice* This is not a problem na. Go right ahead and look for a marriage registry closest to you to tie the knot. I cant deal with all these our holier than thou parents/churches abeg.
ReplyDeletePoster, the normal thing is for you to do the wedding in the woman's church.....so why should ur family be against it? U never marry wife,,ur family is already trampling on ur wife's right. Na wah!
ReplyDeleteD honor of which church u guys get married in is usually reserved for d bride's family. They're d ones giving out their daughter so they get to choose where they want. Ur family shouldn't insist on their church. It is wrong. On d other hand, who says u must marry in church? Where is that written in d Bible? #justasking
ReplyDeleteYoruba people please speak for.your culture , have you been to an igbo wedding were they wed in the girl's church ?
DeleteU r the man and as such should be able to take decisions on issues without succumbing to pressure from families and in laws. Besides in my opinion, once u do traditional wedding, ur in laws can not dictate which church u should wed ur bride.
ReplyDeleteif you must, it should be the lady's church if not please your court and trad wedding is just enough...
ReplyDeletestay blessed
Wedding is always the girls thing, it's d last time for her to please her family before concentrating on her new family , u re catholic u can get married in her church nd then arrange for a private Catholic Church blessing if that will make u feel married. It's her day explain to ur family and let there be peace.
ReplyDeletePoster, why not find a neutral church and do your wedding?
ReplyDeleteNa wa oh. After marriage, who wud be going to whose church.. Hv u guys agreed on that? Whichever church u'd go to as a couple, gv d other person d benefit of getting married in their church since it'd be kinda d last time they'd see him/her. Normally it's done in d brides church and den after wedding, she goes to her hubby's church... But dt may not hv bn ur decision. Take a stand both of u!!!!! Ur parents will dance to ur tune. Tell them u are grown! I dunno why most parents like to gv their children pain when it comes to wedding preps.
ReplyDeleteTo avoid trouble between the two families, pls marry in Amadioha Shrine.
ReplyDeleteBuhahahahaha
DeleteRotflmfao!
DeleteLmao! lepa shandy u just killed me with laughter.
DeleteLADY IGO SAYS:
ReplyDeleteYES; A LADY IS MARRIED WHEN HER BRIDE PRICE IS PAID!
If you disagree with the above statement; show us where in the scriptures (from Genesis to Revelation) where marriage was conducted in a synagogue, temple or "Church". Do not get me wrong; NOTHING IS WRONG IN CELEBRATING A WEDDING IN THE CHURCH. But think of it, lady, take a guy and wed in the church and go home and tell your dad you are married and see if he will be happy. On the other hand, let your dad receive the bride price from a guy and tell him you are pregnant and let's see how he will protest.
Poster, what you owe your wife's family is to fulfill all the obligations they request from you to marry their daughter. Above all, you must be of the same mind with your lady and move on. God is not going to judge any one through the prism of denominational doctrine but through his word. Jesus paid for his bride (the Church) when he shed his blood on the cross and we know (Ephesians five) that marriage is a mystery patterned after Christ and the Church.
I know so may couples who had just traditional marriage (payment of Bride price) and registered their marriage according to the law and followed the word of God in their family lives and God's blessings abound in their marriage.
Your Church doesn't agree; do not worry . . . they will not because weddings yield a lot of income for them; you know what we mean?
FROM LADY IGO WITH REGARDS.
Lady IGO u ve said it all.
DeleteThank you..bride price payment is the wedding?
DeleteAs if there is denominations I n the bible
We humans like to over do
Lady IGO,I have been reading your comments and I love them,the reason church wedding is important is because church weddings follows Christ requirement s for marriage, for example,bride price can easily be returned and in traditional/court marriage,marriage can easily be dissolved and polygamy is allowed in head weddings but in Catholic church weddings you are taught a lot of things beforeyou get married and you are not even expected to leave that union just bbecause of one flimsy excuse which is allowed in traditional,in traditional wedding a man can easily go seelk the hands of another woman in marriage but you can never marry 2 women in church.so church wedding is very good and biblical.
Delete'The church follows Christ requirements for marriage'. 'Seek' 'because'.sorry for the errors
DeleteAnon@ 19:48 church wedding has nothing to do with Christ requirement. Whether married traditionally or in court all the Christ said was no marriage should be dissolved except by death or due to adultery. Many throw caution to the wind and walk out of their marriages using flimsy excuses. Going through the bible the only requirement is that dowry be paid. Because of civilization, u are expected to Regis ter the marriage according to law hence court. Everything else believe is jara. My 2 cents
DeleteGo ahead with Court and traditional to avoid so many conflict.
ReplyDeleteIt has happened to so many people,its understanding.
Your happiness does not lie in the church you get married,all that one is formality.
Your parents re very wrong , the right thing to do is marry her in her church and take her to ur church......why will she marry in ur church ? Hisses ! Ur parents re so unreasonable. Why do ppl play church? Pls go to court if u can't take d heat.
ReplyDeleteXactly. . Y wld she marry in his church?
DeleteFor me, d main wedding is d wine carrying that's traditional. If dem both no gree, make una go anoda church wey no be una own do d wedding or u go on with ur plans and forget white wedding. Na by force to we'd for church?
ReplyDeleteMy dear, the Traditional and the court wedding are more important. Forget Church wedding abeg
ReplyDeleteI had a frnd who had same issue during ha wedding planning. Her family wr pentecostal while d guy's fam were catholic. Infact d guy's father ws a knight! Both families wr @loggerheads on whose church to wed. It ws a VERY serious issue that the boy's family almost called off the wedding. The girl had already agreed to convert to catholic & had strtd attending cathcism classes sef but it didn't change anytin. How did they resolve finally? They agreed to hav 2 church weddings. The first ceremony took place in d guy's church which ws fixed for 9am. Then they moved to d girl's church which ws for 11:30am & frm thr to reception. Very funny initially but @least it saved the situation. Poster, i'll advice you take this step. Goodluck!
ReplyDeletePoster come follow this advice here. Pele
DeleteNonsense.
DeleteI had a frnd who had same issue during ha wedding planning. Her family wr pentecostal while d guy's fam were catholic. Infact d guy's father ws a knight! Both families wr @loggerheads on whose church to wed. It ws a VERY serious issue that the boy's family almost called off the wedding. The girl had already agreed to convert to catholic & had strtd attending cathcism classes sef but it didn't change anytin. How did they resolve finally? They agreed to hav 2 church weddings. The first ceremony took place in d guy's church which ws fixed for 9am. Then they moved to d girl's church which ws for 11:30am & frm thr to reception. Very funny initially but @least it saved the situation. Poster, i'll advice you take this step. Goodluck!
ReplyDeleteMy dear if you can, avoid doing a church weddn since its bringing issues. I don't know abt oda cultures but in Yoruba culture, d weddn is done in d brides church. if dis is bringn issues kindly do a court weddn.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who cums from a staunch muslim background, but converted to Christian while in school. she was also going to marry a xtian. To just save a lot of headache weda to pls her dads religion or pls her hubby. Dey decided on registry and l8tr traditional marriage.
You guys r even lucky, at d age of 32yr I am,my parents are ready to accept any1 dat cums for me,church tinz na least of our worries. They even joke if an hausa man cums to ask for me to be his 4th wife dey will gladly release me. Now see parents arguing over church. I KNOW ONE DAY GOD WILL HEAR MY PRAYERS. My ex put me thru hell and back, it hasn't been easy findn sm1 else,going on 2yrs now. And he's happily married with a baby, still calling and asking to see me.
It saddens me when I hear how desperate women are to just to marry and be called Mrs... Truly, these are the end times for the bible did indeed mention these happenings. No matter what happens, do not allow your want to cloud your sense of judgment. Always know what you want in a man and don't settle for just anything just because you want to marry. Also, do not listen to your ex's words. I'm sure u already know that he wants to eat his cake and have it. If you dare fall into that mess, you will only have yourself to blame. May God be with you.
DeletePlease go ahead with your traditional and court marriage... I had the same issue but I am Muslim and my husband parents re deacon and deaconess....my father has not practiced Islam in over 20years and when I wan marry he say nah must to do nikkai... I asked him who he wants to please with the nikkai? I went to book for my court date, printed my IV sent him soft and hard copy. And carried him along with the traditional marriage plans.....somehow both parents gave up on wat they wanted because they saw that we were determined to be married in OUR OWN way!
ReplyDeleteFrom what i know weddings are usually conducted in the lady's church.
ReplyDeleteFOR PETES SAKE SHE IS LEAVING HER FAMILY,HE FRIENDS,HER ENVIRONMENT AND ALL THAT MATTERS TO HER , TO START A NEW LIFE WITH YOU.
Cant you atleast give her this one last opportunity to celebrate in her church.
From what i know, the wedding has to take place at the girls church. Am a Catholic too, but some strict catholic parents are just like that...na una wan marry, not the parents. The decision has to be yours and not theirs...
ReplyDeleteI'll read comments today. It is well.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o!
ReplyDeleteHas she agreed to attend your church with you, once married?
If yes, please accord her this one privilege.
If not, maybe you can put the white wedding on hold for now, until you both can come to an agreement.
I love me the Catholic Church, mbok!
Any service wey pass 2 hrs ehn, my spirit no dey dere again.
Na jus my okpokoro body go dey d church.
Our catholic doctrine di too much...
ReplyDeleteStella same thing happened to me,it was so disheartening,but i survived it.*sigh...story for anoda day...
If the both of you are OK with having a registry and traditional wedding, then please go ahead. But let it be stated that your family is very WRONG. It is wedding etiquette that the wedding holds in the bride's Church. Never in the man's place of worship. I know of Muslim men who even have Church weddings because their wives are Christians. Even Gov Fashola married his wife in a Catholic Church.
ReplyDeleteSimple.....u know the answer already..
ReplyDeleteDo the court n trad. Wedding......
The marriage Neva start make una two families no start sex quarrel..... or do it in another church ..no Pentecostal or Catholic.... maybe my church-ANGLICAN
Lord,give me d grace to start reading chronicles again;
ReplyDeleted courage of d Queen to type any comment no matter whose ox is gored;
The epistle and patient spirit of Ronalda to call narrators sweet names even wen they need Factory reset slap;
d strength of TGW to give free hugs like Pacquio;
the dedication of ed dreamz to give 'no doubts'comments;
d attitude of Goldscent to b unbiased in her comments;
d gift to give Wide eye's and Blog Lord's witty comments;
The inspiration to pick a signature like commenting twice like Thelma;
And of course d mind to b Angel Blaze without commenting.
Angel blaze fit b Bitch Plis,Jaymoore, Alloy,Martins Abboy,ed dreams or any of these male bvs in disguise OR E FIT B ME.
#MAYBE AM ANGEL BLAZE O. Coz I had amnesia,I jus recovered my memory today.
Stella abeg,investigate this o!
Lolzzzzzzzz
DeleteNice one!
Cray cray.
DeleteShould be Between both of u. Ur parents should have no say whatsoever in where Ur venue should be. At dis point, u are both one already so u should be able to figure it out amicably.
ReplyDeleteNtwk ceased d last I typed, dunno if it went thru.
Why should d parents not gave a say?
DeleteOdikwa serious.
You two are okay with it so why not but if I may just chip in, dear poster (I assume you're thr groom to be?) Tell your family to back the hell down! The bride should be wed at her church, catholics like to do this and its very wrong! You're marrying a girl, you wed her in her church! Simple and short. Except in cases where the girl's family doesn't mind then by all means but its really wrong and catholics do it all the time
ReplyDeleteCourt n traditional is okay
ReplyDeleteThe girl is not ready for marriage, a woman has Ano permanent church coz after the wedding u still have to go to your husband church.
ReplyDelete@poster tell them u are backing out give her time she would come to her senses.
My cousin did that to his girl after 2 months when she discovered she was preggy she came begging with family. He ignored them for a year.
Oh! Wat an immature cousin
DeletePls if you love her, Go and marry her in her church and bring her back to your church ...
ReplyDeletePay her brideprice and give her belle one hand..
ReplyDeleteLol
HML in advance.
I think it's tradition to have the wedding in the way or ways of the lady if compromise cannot be reached.How wud u do a wedding without the involvement of both parents or ur wife to be parents consent?
ReplyDeleteThis is a very delicate issue, one family needs to bend for the other family, u guys still both families involved in our decisions. Anyway let me buy popcorn n read comments
ReplyDeletePoster pls, u guys should just do the court and traditional. Some parents can be so frustrating.
ReplyDeleteHian.....i dunno oooooo
ReplyDeleteNah wah, why do people make simple things look complicated? I suggest you guys go ahead with the traditional and court wedding. After that if you guys still feel the need to wed in church, it will be easier to reach a decision since it will be between the both of you.
ReplyDeleteBut guy na woman church them dey marry na and I feel ur family are the difficult part or ones. When u marry, u carry ur wife go ur catholic zanga. That's how it's been since the days of osadebe and okoson
ReplyDeleteMarry in an Anglican Church and be neutral.
ReplyDeleteHow bout u guys go to a totally different church instead, like OOOBU or ECK? Atleast no family will claim victory. Lol I was only *dodges koikoi sshoe* kidding *dodges bottle*
ReplyDeleteOga o! This kain matter fah. If the two families are not agreeing to ur terms, my dear brother, pls do court /registry. Marriage pass all this tyns wey dem dey drag up n down.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on your beliefs and values as well as your fiancée's. A church wedding in a church authorised by law to wed couples and issue marriage certificates is the same as those done at the Registry. However, most people prefer Church weddings because of the church blessings added and making/taking the marital vows at the altar in the presence of God and before christian brothers and sisters as witnesses which has a stronger spiritual bond. Of course, the pre-marital counselling organised by the church is very important as well.
ReplyDelete
The common procedure is the man weds his bride in her church and after the wedding, she becomes a member of his church. It's not a rule, it's more like what's usually expected. The division in Christendom is more serious than people realise, it's sad but true. Ideally it's desirable to indulge both parents during marriage preparations because that's officially the last time they get to be so involved in making decisions that affect your personal choices. It's like a rite of passage for all parents but your discretion is paramount at the end of the day.
Your choice to opt for traditional marriage and marriage at the Registry is a good idea since both parents can't reach an agreement which is beneficial to all parties. Since your are Catholic, make sure you get the permission of the church to marry outside the church. I just hope this issue doesn't come up again when you guys start having kids. Before your marriage, it will be wise to discuss with your fiancée and agree on the place of worship for both of you and the kids when they arrive. It's a serious issue that must be resolved between both of you because some marriages have collapsed because of similar issues. At the end of the day, what matters most is the agreement between you and your soon-to-be wife. I wish both of you a blissful marriage.
#e-bearhugs.
Nawa oh,like this shouldn't be a topic for discussion sef, the wedding should be done in your church not hers.her parents shouldn't be doing this...
ReplyDeleteFor your building accessories,quality tiles simply spanish and italian tiles,granite tiles,security doors,flush doors.pls add Me up 2640A331
What do u know??
DeleteWhat have u both decided after the wedding as per church membership and attendance cos mere running away from church wedding might not be a permanent solution. Left to me, the wedding is done in the bride's church after which she follows her husband to his church. If a bride cannot attend her husband's church, they have no business getting married in the 1st instance. If the husband agrees to be come a member of his wife's church, all good. Life is that simple. Wonder why we complicate it.
ReplyDeleteThis shouldn't even be an issue. You wed in bride's church!
ReplyDeleteIn case bride attends a different church from parents, Parents' church takes the ball. They own and hold that accordance.
Please ask yourself sincerely, if your parents will ever agree to your female sibling getting wedded in her spouse's church? even if it's catholic?
Please go ahead with just the Traditional and Court mbok.
ReplyDeleteDo whatever pleases u.
ReplyDeleteChinwe Uba
Well,from what i have heard so far, weddings are supposed to be done at the girls church.
ReplyDeleteYour family should understand that it is the girls day and the family would want to be incontrol,you guys should not let something like this to cause a rift between both families.
Truth be told it's so wrong for her parents to insist you both should be wedded in her church...maka y? what pride can cause
ReplyDeleteExactly go ahead with court and traditional wedding and forget about the rest,so it won't cause a rift in the your families
ReplyDeleteChurch marriage is usually held in the girl's church. As a Catholic, you can have you priest present there to witness the wedding in her church, then get him to bless your marriage. This might help cool your family down. I hope this helps. Pheee
ReplyDeleteare you sure that you want to have a church wedding on the least because i dont know what bv's should advice you now. truth be told; if you cannot make the decision of where to wed and stand on it then you are not yet ready for marriage.
ReplyDeletewhy would your inlaws tell you the church to wed and you dont know what to do. except "you are not man enough"
It happened to me about 15 years ago my husband is catholic and I of the Anglican Church , so he says he has to get married in his church , me too come dey form I must marry in my church , there was a stalemate .
ReplyDeleteHmmm after like a month of dragging and me posing , nobody told my parents to agree ooo before stories that touch the heart enter .
I did baptism , hurry hurry confirmation and we did our counseling in the church , na so we marry ooooo . 15 years down the line we both attend Rccg . Biko bros make unna go registry .
I want to believe that its the norm in Nigeria to get married in the brides parents church. Please try and talk to your parents and if its still not agreed then get a venue and each minister of GOD from both churches should come and officiate on a neutral ground. Just my opinion, it might be wrong.
ReplyDeleteSooo Simple to handle ! Gbam ! !
ReplyDeleteWhich TRIBE are you from?
If you are an Igbo the wedding ought to be in a groom's church NO debate about that
If not Yoruba and all other tribes wed in the brides church.... Chikena !
I can't expain why na so I see am !
They should just get a priest to bless tye couple at their home after trad afterall before God and man traditional marriage and probably court marriage because of westernization is the main marriage....wearing white to church on a Saturday ain't our culture imagine is fighting over another man's culture.. Black man should start appreciating their culture jare
DeleteGod bless you,if the girl get sense make she marry for the guy church because her own church may be a mushroom church which may cease to exist after some years,I have seen it happen and the bride not marrying in the catholic church may give room to the guy to marry someone else in the catholic church if anything goes wrong in the marriage. Catholic marriage is strong and has serious government backing too, em fit erase your name for registry if you and the guy get wahala and he settle them, and traditional weddings can be dissolved overnight but with Catholic weddings drama no dey.
DeleteDon't be silly! What du U mean by if the girl get sense! Du u in d 1st place ave
DeleteYou guys should get married wherever you want to! You two are the ones getting married not your parents! So you both shouldn't let them interfere in your marriage plans!
ReplyDeleteit depends on where you come from.for instance if you are from south west and some part of south south with Edo in mind their culture is that you will wed in the ladies church while in the south east traditional wedding is the ladies compound while white wedding is controls by the man so both of you should consider that.visit www.africaintels.com
ReplyDeletePlease please please go ahead with the wedding and you guys can do blessing of marriage later on since it wants to cause a problem hiannn...
ReplyDeletehmmmmm yup go ahead with it the trad marriage and forget the church own my two cent to the case
ReplyDelete#GODWIN
since church is an issue now, please go ahead with the TD and Court marriage.
ReplyDeleteMhhh! Bro I've been down that road,I am from a staunch Catholic family,while my girl(wife of 5yrs now)comes from an Anglican family but a practicing penticostal,infact my father Inlaw is a knight in of the Anglican church,so the decision on the church to wedd nearly tore us apart even after we had done our traditional wedding,.As a catholic you will never be able to receive holy communion in the church if u wedded outside of the church,where as if u wedded in the catholic church,ur wife who doesn't come a non catholic background who knows tomorrow may still attend another church she is comfortable with while you remain a catholic..But if u dare to wedd outside of the catholic church now,you are no longer a catholic,can u live with that?,,Well I culdnt so I put my feet down and we wedded in the catholic church,iam a member of CMO,while my luvly wife is CWO member and all our kids are baptised in the catholic church,and everyone is happy..
ReplyDeleteNa wa....only us so called christians make rules that are painful to the ear........
DeleteSo you can't recieve communion if you don't wed in the Catholic church? So not wedding in the Catholic church is a sin that stops you from recieving communion,what if I steal, I'm no longer a Catholic? .... Thank God, God isnt man....
Ťhe wedding that jesus turned water to wine wasn't in a Catholic church o....it was a normal native or rather traditional Jewish wedding and jesus performed a miracle in the lives of that couple by providing the best of wines for them...
In short I'm tired of all these church politics...haba.....this is what make some people glad that they are atheist.....
Ordinary venue to bless marriage is causing rancor,..
God bless you forever, God should be first,every other thing is secondary.
DeleteCatholics, the ones that lack understanding of their faith are always bent on having the marriage in their church when it should be bride deciding. Almost made my marriage not hold even though my sister married a Catholic who did what the bride wanted and went to Catholic Church for blessing and thank giving and the man still takes holy communion. If I say, I regret oblidging them, I'd be understating my situation because they believe they are always right and know it all.
DeleteOrela calm down my dear,I wish I could see you face to face so I can explain some things to you with bible quotations to back it up,then you may see reason with a lot of things, marriage is not a joke and if you know what some people are capable of then you
Deletewill understand some of the reasons for the stance of the church
as regards marriage,in catholic church before you marry,you have
to notify the church about 6months before you wed,you will be asked to pay the bride price and all then you will go for marriage
counselling for some months which covers topics from in laws,family
planning,finance,raising kids etc after which your names and your marriage intentions will be mentioned for one month in a
catholic church in the
groom's village,the bride's village and the place where you reside
so as to give room for anyone who is against the marriage for
genuine reasons to come up,after all this and other things you wil
l then be fit for marriage,the catholic church wants to make sure
you are not married to multiple persons and still come to receive
communion,if you read the new testament well,there is curse on
anyone that receives communion with sin but people don't know
it so catholic church advises you are in a state of grace before
you receive communion they try their best to do thingsaccording
to Christ's will and leave the rest to God. I know a lady that married in the registry because of this posters problem,after 2years the couples started having problems,the man secretly looked for the court certificate and tore It then I heard the lady's family said he went to the registry and paid heavy money and the their names dissapeared from there,so when the woman went there to get another copy of marriage certificate,she said they
couldn't find anything relating to them,that was the end,the
woman was shocked,there was no proof she was married, there was also an article inread in city people years ago where the couples got married in a pentecostal church and after some years the church cease to exist and their was no way he lady could lay claims to ever been married since he hisband tore all the pictures,this ssues can never happen in Catholic Church + if you
do a catholic marriage you certificate is recognised by the
government,and catholic church have documentations for as far back as 1800 or 721 AD,orela pls accept my little explanations.thank you
Orela, Gbammest!!
DeleteMy friend and her family attends RCCG, her husband and his family are Catholic. They got married in RCCG, after few months, they did the Catholic wedding. Mostly, bride's family wishes are respected. Now they both attend catholic. Its so simple.
ReplyDeleteWith the Yorubas the bride's parent is the host, the wedding holds in their church, Since it's an issue wed in the registry and have blissfull married life. I hope you guyz wont have an issue with the church to worship in after marriage
ReplyDeleteGo ahead abeg. My friend was with a guy for 13 years they were supposed to marry 7 years ago but they couldn't because of silly church issues thankfully they finally agreed and got married last weekend see all the time wasted very annoying nonsense
ReplyDeletePls abeg u better wed in the catholic church. No divorce in the catholic church.
ReplyDeleteY are ur family lik dat?
ReplyDeleteIsn't d bride d owner of her own wedding?
If I were her, honestly, I won't marry u agen oo.
I no dey like anytin wey pass pap.
It shows she wld be avin probs wit dem in future, n I wonder if u can protect her.
I hope dey r not the ones pickin colors 4 her too.
talking from experience: Look for a neutral ground(in abuja it's ecumenical centre) your Rev and Her pastor will both celebrate the wedding on the same altar..... am talking about Catholic and Cele in my case.....
ReplyDeleteGo ahead, do court and traditional.
ReplyDeleteThe wedding ought to be done in the brides family church, but snc there is misunderstanding, u can go to court,or better still still which church do u or ur wife to be attends?u can do it in any of the two,think it's a common ground
ReplyDeleteBut na WA for ur ppl sha,hope they won't give ur wife tough time,cos I don't like it,will ur parent allow ur sis to wed in her hubby's family church!
Irrelevant issues if u ask me,are you doing it for the church,ur priests or ur families? Is it not for the blessings of God? Is God not present in these two churches? Ok,do it in ur woman's church afterall she will convert to catholic as tradition expects.and if u and ur wife decides it will be court weddn proceed by all means and let me see if the families won't be present. Mstcheww,irrelevant issues.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, this is a very dicey one. First has both families had a meeting together? This might probably help or probably meeting with an elderly one from both families by the couple to share their plight. whichever way it goes, i wish both of you well.
ReplyDeleteBros, Catholic and Pentecostal do not mix. I am speaking from experience. One will have to give up for the other and if neither of you are ready to give up your own faith, it is best to move on. Pentecostal people are way too pushy and aggressive. They will not allow you to practice your faith in peace. Find a good Catholic girl and leave the Pentecostal girl to her fellow brethren
ReplyDeleteHmmm...na wa.... Permit me to ask, aren't we all christians?
DeleteI wonder o when you have so much division and differentiation going on in 1 faith. I am a Muslim and I can go anywhere.
DeleteWow! All these revelations are shocking me o! I go to RCCG and my parents attend Anglican but my fiancé is catholic. We haven't really discussed the church yet because we haven't really set the date etc but we vaguely touched on the subject few weeks back and we said we would marry at any church of my choice and we would start attending catholic once we're married, I went to a catholic primary and secondary school so it's not something entirely foriegn to me. (By the way, he didn't really attend any church when we first started dating and I convinced him to at least go to church so he started going to Catholic Church because that was the church he was raised in; and he attends RCCG with me whenever he comes to my city to visit me.) I never even knew people were this segregated when it comes to church denominations. Aren't we all serving one God?............ Just Saying
DeleteBoth families should try to reach a compromise..
ReplyDeleteNow it all boils downs to what your wife wants,has she always wanted a white wedding?walking down the aisle? If yes,then she might not be okay with only trad and court wedding.
Have a talk with her,the most important thing is what both of you want @ the end of the day..
There was this couple who one was a Catholic while the other was a Pentecostal like this case here. After going back and forth , they agreed that one, they Will wed in the man's church and thereafter the man will start attending the woman's church. So now, you both have to strike a common balance. This is just an example.Is it related to yours? Check yasefs.
ReplyDeleteSo which church will you guys be attending as a couple?
ReplyDeleteWhere I come from, the wedding takes place in the man's church.
Go and get the CD 'The Lie Of Church Denomination' by Chris Ojigbani. Your will be opened, your mind will be clear and you will take a SUPER FAST decision on how to seal that marriage before 15 mins that you would have played that CD. This situation has been deceiving Nigerian's since 1600. Call their office on 08027173678 or 08062859890 to order it. You don't even need prayer or fasting to solve that battle. Just the strength to take FAST ACTION. I even thank God you are determined to marry her. If they frustrate you, and you abandon her, they will start swearing at you. That denomination thing has left many people unmarried till today. It is a strategy of the devil and we are swallowing it hook, line and sinker.
ReplyDeleteWhich Church would u be attending after ur wedding???? u both need to sit and talk about DAT cos is very important too.
ReplyDeleteIn my place, d wedding takes place in d groom's Church while for some its d bride's church, u both should come to a conclusion and not allow ur family ish tear u apart, infact if u know d Church u both will be attending after ur wedding, fix it there, anyone DAT doesn't want to come is free to wait at d reception venue and lest I forget they shld not forget to come and snap pictures after d wedding mass/service.
your family needs to give unto ceaser what is ceaser's the wedding is held in the brides church, if you insist on marrying a Pentecostal person you must be ready to hold the wedding in her church. If you choose you can insist on a catholic thanksgiving service thereafter, but your family has no right insisting on your church.
ReplyDeleteToo much religion in Nigeria at the expense of common sense.
ReplyDeleteToo many gods being created by different human beings
This shit is tiring.
More frustrating is the fact that the religion does not translate to morality
You marry a woman in her (or her family) church o unless her and her family decide otherwise. Tell your family to yansh down abeg!
ReplyDeleteI married in my husband's church after the family explained why they would like me to consider so. It wasn't an ultimatum as in do or die.
Don't enter your marriage with your family causing problems for you. You do not give war to a family you are marrying from.
Catholic Church people and their wahala! Wanting to turn a peaceful doctrine to by force cult especially when marriage is involved.
Marry that babe in her family church biko.
You marry a woman in her (or her family) church o unless her and her family decide otherwise. Tell your family to yansh down abeg!
ReplyDeleteI married in my husband's church after the family explained why they would like me to consider so. It wasn't an ultimatum as in do or die.
Don't enter your marriage with your family causing problems for you. You do not give war to a family you are marrying from.
Catholic Church people and their wahala! Wanting to turn a peaceful doctrine to by force cult especially when marriage is involved.
Marry that babe in her family church biko.
Stells how many chronicles 2day?
ReplyDeletePoster ur parents have no right to say that. Weddings re usually done in a woman's church. I've noticed that catholics always do this. It happened 2 my friend n after much talk his wife to b had 2 give in and they wedded in catholic church.
I personally don't get d freak about church weddings.
I think your parents just dont want you to marry the girl. Its standard you marry in the girl's church (either her family church or the one she attends). or both of you find a church attend together and marry there.
ReplyDeleteIf church is bringing too much drama then meet on a common ground which will be court wedding.
ReplyDeleteYour parents are selfish, we all know that couple wed in the brides church. If they can't agree on something as simple as this what happens in the future?
ReplyDeleteWomen are the ones to choose where to marry, while she will attend her husband's church after the wedding. Since there is conflict, you did well to opt for court and traditional only....but none of your parents will agree.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is that you should get an Apostolic clergy man to wed you in the same venue you are going to do your reception, after doing the a quiet court wedding with just 2 witnesses the previous week. Best of luck.
Nitty.
Women are the ones to choose where to marry, while she will attend her husband's church after the wedding. Since there is conflict, you did well to opt for court and traditional only....but none of your parents will agree.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is that you should get an Apostolic clergy man to wed you in the same venue you are going to do your reception, after doing the a quiet court wedding with just 2 witnesses the previous week. Best of luck.
Nitty.
Parents!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, the two of you shd try and have a family meeting with both families together. Let them see the kind of stress they are putting you guys through. This is a tough one because my friends that have married Catholics have converted. Maybe do the wedding at your church and thanksgiving at her parents church. Goodluck.
The major problem is which church did u guys agree to be attending after the wedding.
ReplyDeleteAs a man, u should learn to stand ur ground on some issues, it is yr wedding right? Then impose what u think is right on ur parents which is most importantly what u n ur wife agree to.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, i did the church service at the same hall (gallery) while reception took place downstairs n the fam got even. We invited pastors from both churches n they blessed us. It's a normal tin for issues like this to occur, reach a conclusion n speak to ur folks.
Catholics will come up with the excuse that they go to venue to bless marriage but expect the couple to come to church. I have been there, done that and bought the tshirt.
DeleteI had my clerics at the main reception venue but they insisted on church even their own branch without paying a kobo towards the wedding cost. You dare dictate to me....ended up having their so called catholic wedding at a church in my town. The only compromise I could reach and they wasted time despite saying it will only be for an hour. We were their for almost 3 hours claiming thanksgiving service. In another life, if given the opportunity of another life, I will not oblige anyone.
You are de man here,so make and stand on your decision,,and which church you and your wife to be are going to worship Christ after your wedding''''?that will be the church or you wait after ur traditional marriage then and after building ur own home,,,from swiss
ReplyDeleteCatholic is the husband church,so she should be weded in the Catholic.besides the Catholic parents I know will never allow that.
ReplyDeleteI am an ardent reader of this blog, myself and DH,I introduced him to stella's blog and now i can boldly say he is more committed than I am. Dear poster, I was in your shoes some months back, I was a pentecostal and DH is a staunch Catholic,both sides of the family refused to be on the same page as to where the church wedding should hold. To cut a long story short, I did the work,I convinced my side but e nor easy o, I cried, begged and persuaded till dey gave in. And to the glory of God we had our wedding last month.My advice to you is to put everything before God,he makes all things beautiful and I know he will perfect your marriage plans.
ReplyDeleteIn my next life i may be a wedding planner. First the couple should attend 6:00pm or 12:00am mass with the two family,both Pentecostal and Catholic. Lemme state that it should just be nuclear family, combined they should be just 20 people. After the mass, the Father can bless the union. Then after that the should have a small buffet lunch or dinner with the family members where a pentecostal pastor will come and bless the union and join the family for dinner. This small ceremony can open Oof pave the way for the marriage weekend to begin.
ReplyDeleteThen I think why the family wants a Catholic wedding is because Catholics don't believe in divorce. So you can have a Catholic wedding and do the thanksgiving in the Pentecostal families church. The choice is up to you guys as a couple and your pockets of course.
Catholic weddings are just ethereal...
DeleteThis post sounds just exactly like my friend's brother's story. They are Catholics while the girl's family is RCCG. Ask God to touch the hearts of everybody involved.
ReplyDeleteBut na woman church dem dey do wedding na, why are u pple complicating the whole issue, I hope your family won't give that lady issues in her matrimonial home
ReplyDeleteIf church no gree una abeg enter court.......Ko le to yen mehn
FORGOT TO COMBINE BOTH NARRATIVES BUT ITS OKAY,,,NOTHING SPOIL!
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteStella I can't find my comment o!
DeleteWe have 3 types of MARRIAGE/WEdding in Naija.
ReplyDeleteIf church is the ish pls my bros do COURT and TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE, carry your wife go.
But na woman church dem dey do wedding na, why are u pple complicating the whole issue, I hope your family won't give that lady issues in her matrimonial home
ReplyDeleteIf church no gree una abeg enter court.......Ko le to yen mehn
Poster go ahead with the TM and court marriage if u and your fiancee are comfortable with it. Same thing happened to my friend and they had to forgo church marriage for peace to reign.
ReplyDeleteIt's usually at d brides church.unless der's an understanding btwn u both.dis sld b btwn u guys.both parents wldn't b pushy about it particularly d man's family.
ReplyDeleteWow, inhouse news loaded. God bless all the givers
ReplyDeleteClick the link below for immediate employment. http://WeeklyFixPay.com/?share=33198. No fuss, no scam, just work and get paid
Normally u get married in the girls parents church but to avoid issue u can invite a priest and a pastor to come and join u guys at the reception then afterwards reception follows
ReplyDeleteI think the wedding before ur lord os the most important than traditional or court bcoz thayswhat makes ur union holy n ur sex not sinful, law is for officail divorce purposes n tradition in my opinion should be obolished
ReplyDeleteI dunno y parents and relatives just like to cause commotion in such matters.
ReplyDeleteNormally, to my knowledge it's done in the girls side; the trad is done in the girls village so is the church wedding in the girls church.
The guy is coming to take the girl out of her place to his place that's y that grace is given for everythin to be done in the girl's side.
You won't see white wedding happening in the guy's church except both families agree and don't have a problem with it.
Na wa o, the guys parents for kukuma say make dem du the traditional wedding in the guys place na. Shuuu
Very simple matters dem wan just turn to an impossibility. ABEG, guys parents allow these two love birds marry in the girl's church biko Nu & allow God bless u ppl a billion folds.
Bless u all
LADY IGO SAYS TO:
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 5 May 2015 at 19:48;
Thanks for your comments. Honestly, I'm hoping to learn from someone here. Was disappointed that you did not give us any bible reference. We quoted a scripture in the foregoing and will quote another one. In John chapter two, Jesus and his disciples (the church) were invited to a wedding in Cana in Galilee (not synagogue or temple but in someone's home) . . . how about having a wedding (Bride price payment) ceremony and inviting your pastor and his congregation to pray and bless the marriage if that must be; must it be in the building called church?
Please give us scriptural references.
LADY IGO WITH REGARDS.
As long as you go through the due process of giving notice to court,acquiring your registrar's certificate in form C and proceeding to celebrate the marriage @ the registrar's office to obtain form E which's your marriage certificate, it will suffice.your marriage is still valid in the eyes of God and the law.the church celebration will just be for formalities.more like blessing of the marriage.since it is the bone of contention,stick to your plans.my opinion.
ReplyDeleteThank GOD u re a catholic so u shud knw dis by now dt d catholic church is d mother church nd dey re self centered,one will not understand untill wen you wnt2 get married especially mix-marriage,I knw u re not igbo cos if u re u ll nt b asking where 2 wed cos both parties already knw.wed ur wife in her church nd den bring her 2 worship wit u in ur church,d catolic church has made it so easy,do ur blessing so u can also receive communion nd make her attend classes for other sacraments shikena.
ReplyDeleteBride's church ni, church bride kor. Don't impose your norms on others. In my part of the country, the traditional is done anyway the bride's family want it while the groom's family has the church wedding anyhow they want it.
ReplyDeleteIt's because of such things that i can't marry out of my tribe. I just can't deal with stressing over such ridiculous things.
Tu
ReplyDeletedoes stuff like this still ocur in our modern day society its really crazy...
ReplyDelete