Chronincle Of Blog Visitor Narratives

Na wah,this life ain't easy at all.some have it good and some have it so bad...where is the balance?

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MARRYING A STERILE MAN,THE DRAMA AND THE EXIT

I promised that I was going to share my story some day on your blog and I'm taking that shot today.

I got married at 25 after I had finished school and my husband was quite older than I was but it wasn't a problem because being respectful is in my DNA thus submitting to him took no skin off my nose.

 He was a regular good guy and was quite caring but by the end of the second year there were cracks in the relationship. I can't tell at what point it started but I just realized somewhere down the road that he had become a stranger.

 He was the only son of his mother and it was quite natural that I caught the anxiety bug early in the marriage when a pregnancy was not forthcoming. The infertility journey is one I wouldn't wish anyone no matter how much I resent them.

 Where didn't I go? What didn't I drink? Churches, fellowships, local midwives, herbal homes (not native doctor mbok). Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, Benin, Enugu, Aba, Onitsha, Awka...........I waka wella. I underwent all sorts of procedures ingested all sorts of tablets and concoctions but none worked. It was physically, emotionally and financially draining.

 Meanwhile na only me dey waka the waka o! DH kept saying that he had no problem and I was the reason we weren't getting pregnant. How did he arrive at that? I had an irregular cycle and a very bad case of dysmenorrhea. He never submitted himself for any test and didn't want to discuss IVF (not that we couldn't afford it)

 As our relationship deteriorated I became so insecure and miserable that I started........yes you heard me......SNOOPING!

Going by the experience, I won't advice anyone to walk that road (snooping I mean). It will only make things worse. I must confess that all that I discovered through snooping helped me to know what I was really up against and to realize that I married a man with dark secrets and a skirt chaser. But all the information made me more miserable and changed nothing. I am totally against snooping now. Trust me on this, ignorance is bliss!

  His philandering ways got worse and the few times I dared to question him, he told me straight up that since I wasn't getting pregnant, he had to try other women until someone gave him a child. 

I was so heart broken I became a living dead. I tried talking to my sister in law because the burden was heavy but I couldn't tell her the true situation of things so she couldn't really offer objective advice. I wasn't very comfortable putting my marital business out there. (But to all the false and money mongering pastors out there, who took my money and made my situation more complicated, una do well o! You all shall get what's coming to you o!)

 It got worse (I can't say all that transpired here). He stopped having sex with me at some point (over 10 months) and e pain me no bi small because me sef like the thing but he no send me and I was too scared and miserable to attempt adultery.

 To cut a long story short, I stumbled on a pack of strange looking tablets, I googled the name and learnt it was medication for sterility! I was confused, angry, weak, sorry for him, and angry again. After all he had put me through? 


Hmmmmmm............issorai! I couldn't tell anyone about it but I kept hoping and praying that every thing would be fine but nothing changed. What broke the camel's back?

 We had an altercation and he was going on an on about all sorts, from nowhere, I blurted out "why are you hiding the fact that you're sterile"? He gave me a thunderous slap and I cried, I cried for myself, for him, for what the marriage had become, unrealized dreams, the wasted years, lost opportunities, I just couldn't stop. Later that night, I told him we needed a break from each other. 

He said it suited him just fine since I was too stupid to go out and get pregnant by another man. I didn't know how to respond to that.

 The next morning, I picked a few things and left the house. All I really wanted was to give him a break but somehow I never went back. I realized that I deserved to be happy and I couldn't be happy with him. That was how the marriage ended. He refused to let me take the rest of my things because I won't let go of the marriage certificate which I needed to process the divorce. It is over now.

Hmmm i guess you do not need advice but just want to unburden your mind....your husband actually said you should have gone out to get pregnant?And he kept blaming you for the kids not coming?wow!

what could have caused his condition?I feel so sorry for him.
When you discovered you should have had a heart to heart talk with him and not throw his condition in his face,that was so wrong!
I wish you all the best in finding love again.

 #teamsnoop members are gonna tear you apart today.


make i run oh..



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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
THE ABORTION QUESTION

Dear Stella,

I am an ardent reader of your blog so I thought I should mail you for an advice.

I am engaged to the love of my life and we were planning a fairytale wedding‎ when I found out I am pregnant. This is the second pregnancy this year. 

I dont know if I should abort it or not. My fiance is adamant about keeping it but my fear is that we are just starting up and I dont know what effects this will have on our finances. 

Also I used the morning after pill -postinor 2 twice after I got pregnant because I really didnt know I was pregnant. The hospital said I should come back in a few weeks to ascertain the baby is ok but I am confused as to if I should keep it or not even if the scan comes out good.

Please i need advice on what to do.

Thank you.

You are asking if you should abort a baby????

My dear make i siddon and read advice