I cant believe what I am reading!.....Isi gini? kile so?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MOTHERHOOD AND ITS BAGGAGE.
Hi Stells,I am worried about my son.He will be 17 years old next month.
I had him when i was 16 years old.I went through hell to care for him cos his his father who was 19 years old then denied responsibility.I did so many things just so that he will be happy and grow up like other kids with both parents.i live in a neighbouring African country ,i visit naija as often as 3 times in a year.my son is a university student level 100.Every time i tell him am coming to see him in school,he declines saying that i should leave whatever i brought for him with my sis whom he lives with.He doesnt want to see me.
I feel he is ashamed of me.I wonder why he doesnt want to see me.i know some people will say this is childish,but am really hurt.i talk to him on phone daily,pay his fees,pay his weekly allowance unfailingly.i went through hell cos i decided to keep him.at 33,i am unmarried and he is my everything.I Am hurt.please i need help to deal with this.Thanks
He is not ashamed of you,that is how boys are.let him go through that phase and dont force it oh,he will come back to you.
I have a standing order from my boys NEVER to kiss them in public until we get home.I realise they are growing up and let them make their rules.I even threaten to kiss them when all the girls are looking if they aint good.
Your boy is fine,stop trying to use him as an emotional teabag.
He is your everything fine but let him find his own life outside of you.
.........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
THE MARRIAGE TALK - HOW SOON IS TOO SOON?
I started work in a new office in November last year and by March this year a guy approached me (not a staff of the office) and we got talking and became friends...he confessed that he had been watching me for a while and wanted to get to know me. He sounds like a good guy with all the qualities any woman would want in a man. We started dating and less than 2 weeks into the relationship, he's already talking marriage. Not that I don't Want to marry him but it all feels too good to be true and I feel like we should wait a bit and get to know each other more.
He says he has prayed and God has revealed to him that I'm his wife and I also consulted my pastor who said God is in support of the Union but I feel it's all happening too fast. He's planning to take me to his parents soon and he also says he would like to get married this year. I like him a lot and he's already told me he loves me but I keep wondering if this is real or not.
My question is that how long do I need to date him before marriage? Isn't it too soon to start talking marriage in a relationship after 2 weeks?
Thank you Stella.
Make i read comments
............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
ACQUIRING PROPERTY TOGETHER AS A COUPLE
I've been married for 12 yrs with 2 kids and all through the marriage,my in laws have been actively involved in decision making down to getting a maid(even if I don't want him/her).hubby buys his properties in his name or his father's name and when I tell him to include my name sometimes he'll tell me we wedded in court therefore everything of his belongs to both of us,he said I should ask a lawyer,sometimes his siblings and i sign as witnesses,lawyers in the house over to you!
As for buying in his parents name,he said that it's because he's a public servant and doesn't want to be probed.fellow bv's i've been working for the past 6 years and he said I should take care of the feeding while he does the capital projects,I barely save any money after all my struggles.chai bv's I posted this on a forum on FB and got the shock of my life with the responses because whenever I bring up the issue he says I should trust him and lately one of his brothers is managing his block of flats which is in his father's name,the worst part is that I've decided to hustle and he placed the feeding of kids and relations on me. I felt like sharing so you all can also advice but you know that awkward moment when you believe you're smart only to find out you've been fooled,i don't pray for any evil,we'll live to see our children's children(amen) but i'll continue my hustle and pray I forgive this whole thought out scheme,but my people fear don catch me oo because his people believe i'm the one preventing him from helping them not knowing say their pikin ambition no be here! Sha God dey.
Stella of life..abeg chop kiss cos I love you no homo hehehe. I just felt like sharing with the house abeg no jealous big man wife lai lai and no
cussing cos I started from the scratch with him and I believe God will pay us all in our coins.
Your husband is buying property and none is in your name or the kids name?OMG!
Nigerian women should marry with their heads. You all do submissive stupidly
ReplyDeletePoster3, people buy properties in the name of adopted kids talk less of your biological kids.. Point is it hubby is a devil nd a fool sorry to say
Delete@poster1 : I really feel for you.
Delete@poster2 : is too early to start talking about marriage, hope the guy is not a gold digger.......pls take your time.
@poster3 : you are sleeping ontop bicycle
If anything happens to your husband (God forbid) his family will take everything from you. You should be scared of the future.
Try and do something about it cause all these inlaw are not loyal. Good luck
N3.. So all the almost 500 comments on BR is not enough for you.. You still carry your matter come here so we will help you beat your husband unroll he adds your name to the deed of his properties okwa ya..
DeleteN2.. don't give him your shishi oh .. no matter the sob stories he comes up with.. until he has married you properly for now just go with the flow and enjoy your relationship. Do not forget to snoop on him once in a while .. fones, pockets etc..
@poster 3: you better wear ya trouser and fight this man to a standstill. First of all, stop buying food in the house. Tell him that they have not paid you for how many months and your savings are gone. He go vex you but stand your ground. When he is ready to talk, tell him gently that he has to put your name and the children's name on all his properties. Babe, that excuse he gave you is a big lie, so don't believe it. Tell him that until you see physical proof that your name is on all the properties, you will not bring out money. My husband tried that with me. It's his family telling him what to do. My dear, be ready to fight o, and don't give up until you get what you want.
Delete@Narrative N1;he is just a boy who is growing up and precisely getting use to life..he aint rejecting you or ashamed or you either!!
DeleteBelieve me;as much as he means everything to you,thats how you also mean everything to him cos nothing on earth can be compared to A mother's love...you be his weekly allowance,fees et all and that is enough reason for him to love you more cos there are some single mums out there who dont do all these but yet their child/children always cherish them till the end of time...
#This is just A phase and dont worry much about it K!!
@poster two;2 weeks is too early for anyone to be talking marriage..it could be for real and on the other hand;it could be "Lust" or "LOVE" hyping his brain....
Now you just have to help yourself by doing your assignment;and what are they??
1)do A thorough background check on him to know he is for real and A perfect Gentlemen
2)make sure he has no baby mama drama going on his life
3)visit his parents as per said by him and ask some questions when you get there then watch their reaction(s)
4)sit this man down and ask him in A civilized manner "Why he wants to get married to you" in just two weeks of getting to know you..
#In anything you embark on dear;always go with your brain oooo cos people are not always what they seem to be...all the best to you !!
@Narrative N3,its A No,No,No!!
Believe it or not,YOUR HUSBAND IS HAVING TRUST ISSUES WITH YOU AS A WIFE hence why he is registering all his assets in the name of his parents and his...are you sure he aint using their names as next of kin too??
Alldsame from what i know;everything in his name is also yours since you wedded in court..or maybe he is using your ignorance to his own benefit!!
But the truth is;that act of his registering with his name and parents is just too suspicious for any ear that hears this..it sounds as if he has A plan ahead irrespective of him having one or NOT!!
@poster better sit him down or get him very high(with alcohol or with s*x) to tell you why he is doing all this..cos men eehh;FEAR THEM OOO!!
#what do i know sha??
XTREME MIXTAPE VOL.2;CLICK TO LISTEN/DOWNLOAD
@MARTINS ABOY
@p2. Find a way of telling him when he is in a good mood the dangers of him not adding your name or that of your kids in his documents. His family will trow you and your kids out if God forbid anytin happens to him. Ask him of what use is his acquiring such properties if it won't benefit you his immediate family.
DeleteFor Poster 1, I don't want to agree that he is growing up and acting like a man. U ppl saying ur bro does same, at least u all live together in d house when ur bro is back from school. Since the poster's son doesn't live wt his mum and doesn't want to see her when she visits Nigeria on few occasions, there is a problem....maybe a minor one. Ur son SHOULD see you wen u re in town.
DeleteAnalyse the rship u have wt him. Do u always monitor him or scold him all d time? Try to show more love to him, speak lovingly. I hope ur son doesn't act like a spoilt child. How was his childhood training? Were u an 'absentee mum'? Did u engage in *improper* acts he is aware and is ashamed of. If so, you shud sit with him and talk with him. Let him know you are better now and sorry for the past. Ask him why he doesn't want to see u wen u re around.
Calling him everyday is too much. Once a week or once in 2 weeks is better. Maybe u shud try not calling him to one or two months and see if he will call you. If he doesn't, na wa ooo. U can visit him in school like once but not all d time. Hang out with him. Gist wt him at home. On holidays, ask him to come to ur place Whr u reside.
It seems u didn't discipline d boy well wen he was younger or it cud be the fact that der was no father-figure wen he was growing up. Boys listen more to der dad's dan mum's. Dey always have der way if it's der mum talking to dem.
Before you all start judging the man.Try & read civil service rules.if he buys property in his wife's or kids names, if he ever gets probed these properties would be traced to him & confiscated. Madam complainant,your husband knows what he's doing.But, he's a corrupt thief!
Deletehaaa. let me read comments like Stella
ReplyDeletepamscrib.blogspot.com
Poster 1: your son might just be worried about having to explain to all his friends why his mum is so young...don't worry, he'll come around eventually.
DeleteAs for poster 2 n 3, Abeg Stella, pass me the popcorn...hehehe., I hope u have toffee popcorn cos that's my favourite :-)
Narr 1: No idea!
ReplyDeleteNarr 2: That guy is not real. Probe further. Snoop. Do something, anything. Have you visited him at home? Do you know where he lives? Met his parents? Work?
Make proper investigations, young lady.
With the rate men are looking for who to scam in the name of marriage, his attitude fits the description.
Infact, that guy no pure.
Dump him!
Run away as fast as possible.
Narr 3: too long mbok. Lemme read comments.
Poster two , tell d guy to give u time do u guys date for some time to know yourselves better, poster3, ur husband is not a good person, s man who is reasonable will buy properties in the name of his kids,this your own husband Idnt understand
DeletePoster 3 shine your eye ur hubby is building an empire without you and you think that is normal? God bless him with long life n good health but wen he is gone wat happens to the properties they will obviously be for his father! And you sign o you nor sign o who ever his fathers will that property to will be theirs common sense is all it is ... family woman wake up and start building your own empire for you and your kids even if its buying a land at least u have something to build on when he decides to wake up one day and kick you out you can never trust men especially naija men. thank God for my oyibo pepper
DeleteI hope everyone has been following the happenings in South Africa
ReplyDeleteLet's boycott southafrican businesses in nigeria as a demonstration against the gruesome killings of foreigners in S.A. No shopping at SHOPRITE, PICK N PAY, SPAR, STEER, DEBONAIR, HUNGRY LION, MR PRICE, WOOLWORTH, or any shop that is a South African invstment. S.A must be put in their place. Send this to all your contacts.
No more DSTV OR MTN
Boycott all South African shops in a bid to make the RSA take a stiffer action against Xenophobic attacks. Take the pain, shop somewhere else and let it be a message to Zuma & SA. Circulate this message and take action. Join in saving a life"
Let's all help end this shameful wicked act by the south African people. We are humans not apes.
Poster3 send ur husband this link to read d comments so he knows u r not a fool
DeleteDo you know how many Nigerians that will be jobless??..
DeleteMoreover,they are not attacking Nigerians...the media is circulating false information about the whole thing....
@Queen that is a pure lie, dey are attacking mainly Nigerians. Watched a video on YouTube where an old woman was brandishing a cutlass shouting how Nigerians have taken jobs meant for their sons. How she had 3sons and spent all training them and no job for them cause Nigerians have taken all. She said she is in support of the killings
DeletePls no violence... we are not animals and illiterate like dem.
DeletePoster 3. Biko shine your eyes, what rubbish are u talking about? He is buying properties in his name and dads name, while you work and feed the family. Keeping using your money as family property and his own as his own. Am married and my husband has properties and believe me my name is boldly written on it. My money is mine, and out of what he gives me as my allowance I still save in a separate account. So wake up from your slumber please. Tell him if your name is not included in the documents, then he has to take up his responsibility in the family. Fees feeding medicals and what not. Stop playing the fool. God forbid anything should happen, were would you be with your kids?
ReplyDeleteStella kissing in public is totally different from not letting her see him at all. That's so mean of d little boy. I can imagine how much it hurts his mum.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, two weeks is really too short. U didn't give us enough info to be able to decide what to tell u, like is he working??? Cos if he isn't, he may just be looking for easy cash and d earlier he gets married to u, the better for him. But let's say he's working and OK financially, still date him for at least two to three months, I'm not sure two weeks is enough to know enough abt d person u wanna spend d rest of Ur life with
Poster 3, I think u are sitting on a long thing. You should have insisted he bought all d properties in both Ur names.
Narrative 1
ReplyDeleteReally don't know what to say to you, but Please just try and see Your son, it's necessary.
Narrative 2
Two weeks is too young for a relationship to start talking marriage.
Narrative 3
I Hope Your husband is not making a mistake of life he'll come to regret later in future. Please try and secure Your future and that of Your kids, buy Your own property also in Your name, incase anything go wrong in future because humans are wicked and never to be trusted.
Your comment will be visible after approval
Atleast, he should use his children's name just to be on the safe side.
DeletePoster 3: Shine your eyes. Some men though!!! Can't deal
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteHmmm...
Don't really know what to say to you...
So make I jump...
Poster 2,
My dear,please study this guy before getting married to him...marriage is not child's play ohhh...
Tell him to give you sometime that you are still praying...
Poster 3,
Na wah ohh,
Your husband is stingy...
Some women dey try in this institution called marriage...
How can you be bringing feeding money when he is capable of providing everything...
Well,it's like his people are using jazz on him...who does that??...God forbid but if anything should happen to him,you go suffer ehhheee....
No man buys properties with his family's name when he has children....
Biko go into prayers and break any juju they used in covering his eyes...
Lemme start appreciating my man biko...his type is scarce...
Poster 3: Na wa to u,wt sort of excuses r u swallowing,u shud b able to discern honesty frm suspision,ur hubby isn't exactly honest wiv u,he hsnt said d real reason y ur kids names ain't even included,all d reasons he gave r sooo petty even a dumb person shud get it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLet me sit down and read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster1;CONFUSED
ReplyDeletePoster2;More CONFUSED
Poster3;Most CONFUSED
Stella,please sell popcorn #100 gimme abeg,Na #siddonlook I dey!!
Hahahaha....naughty naughty!!
DeleteI don't get it! We advice women to buy properties in thier names instead of thier husband's and then frown if the men inturn buy properties in thier own names. diaris God o!
ReplyDeleteSpot on sketchy, don't mind all these two tongued feminists. The woman can buy in her name but the man can't buy in his name init ??mcheww
DeleteJust Negodu!
DeleteDid the man buy properties in his name? From what you have read?
Or is the lady planning to buy properties in her brother's name,maybe her father's name...
@sketchy I pity ur future wife u strike me as a selfish and wicked person. U will do the same thing as poster 3's husband. Pls female blog visitors don't fall for sketchy or his type. Beware
DeleteDear Sketchy, I have time so I'll answer you. I hope you get to see this comment.
DeleteYes we advise women to buy properties in their name, and we also advise men to buy properties in their wives name. Reason being that the society we live in today isn't fair to the women folk and doesn't favour them at all. God forbid anything happens to her hubby now, with the way I'm seeing it, the man's family will not treat her well. They'll be more interested in sharing his assets and leaving her out. But if it's the other way round and something happens to the woman, whatever property she had in her name goes to her husband. How many cases did you see of a woman's family struggling wealth with her husband?
You gerrit now right? Next time use your brain before you type. You are not paying to use it after all.
I too taya to type a beg...just give me pop corn make I chop
ReplyDeleteChei..
ReplyDeletePoster 3:::, honestly speaking,oyo na ur name 000!!!
Have been married for d past 11years now ND I will tell u free of charge that you are on ur own...
For doing this,ur children will never forgive you! Wen other women are busy packing money ND properties for their children's future...u are there doing mumu love..
Stupid woman!!!
Asin, she's on her own nd her hubby is so wicked kai! Who does that?
DeletePoster1.don't tell your son of your next visit,just suprice him and see his reaction. Poster2.two weeks like seriously?shine your eye. Poster3.your name or his kids name should be included in the property
ReplyDeletePoster1 ur son is fine, truth is most Teenagers especially boys feel embarrassed when their parents come visiting, or you want his friend to laugh at him and call him mummy's boy?
ReplyDeletePoster1 this is simple, invite him nd tell him exactly how you feel, u would hear what he will say
DeletePoster 1, don't worry you re good free d young man
ReplyDeletePoster 2 pray and open ur eyes, tell him to slow down.
Poster 3, nawao which kind one chance be dis?God abeg oo shuooooo den go look dat ur husband well ooo,e get where d Bible say be wise like serpent, nor be me go tell you say ur husband na....................
1: I think Stella is right
ReplyDeleteThere are stages of life.your boy is not ashamed of your.all your need is go understand him and shower him with lots of love
Am sure he will come off it
2:marriage no be 2 weeks sumtin.u gas delay d
Everything. 1 step @ a time abeg
3:if your husband buy property put em papa name,den u buy ur own put ur mama name.lol just kidding ,d Lord is your muscle
Hian..three hot chronicles.. Wia I wan start????
ReplyDeletePoster 1:let your son be pls.just do as he says..with time he will pass over this stage..that's how teenagers behave.I rember my brother telling my parents not to come for visiting day in boarding house those days..lol..even now in university.to visit him.they beg him lol
Poster2: two weeks????? Neber heard of that..pls check the guy well..make sure he is not dying soon or something..also make sure he is perfectly ok..abeg wia u waka go meet that pastor???
Poster 3:are u sure you are married?????are u really sure that your husband is ok spiritually???like they have not used juju on him..even if he dsnt buy properties in your name what about your kids???..my dad buys properties in my brothers name..some time we sign as witnesses
At poster number 3 madam are you a learner? Hmmmm na wah are for real madam sit your husband down tell him to contribute to the house feeding. I know someone who buys even biro in his wife's name. And his family knows but who cares? As long as they are happy!
ReplyDeleteMay God, not let anything happen to your husband your eye go clear once, my mum used to tell us / advice us that money spent on feeding in husband house is like money put in basket because at the end man will ask what is your contribution to this house? So be sharp very sharp. I wish you well,
@ anon biro ke... make sense though
DeleteLADY IGO SAYS TO POSTER 2:
ReplyDeleteWHY DO LADIES FIND IT DIFFICULT TO GO TO GOD IN PRAYERS AND FASTING WHEN THEY HAVE A PROBLEM?
I ask this question folks because of my experience of counselling ladies over the years. Why run to a pastor to hear from God for you? My counselling note never involves "God said" rather it's the word of God; the Bible where he wrote that my sheep hear my voice and I know them; see Jn. chapter ten. He did not write there that the pastor hears for my sheep . . . did he? Ladies, fast and pray and God will answer you. Already, your heart is telling you that all is not right in this rush and the scripture says that God is greater than your heart; he will condemn you if your heart does. Dismiss this man and if he loves you, he should give you time to fast and pray on your own terms.
A very committed lady in her church (note Church and not committed to God) dated a man for 6 months. Both at some points belonged to the choir. The man in her own view was quite dedicated. Even her pastor confirmed that he is her husband. And of course as you'd guess, the man is loaded. So they wedded and lady went to live with her husband. It was then that her eyes popped open like popcorn; the man is a very committed Muslim; almost the boko type! He had boasted to his friends that he must marry this lady and when the thing got down to a bet running into millions of naira, he decided to join the church and subsequently the choir. Of course your guess is a good as mine, marriage packed up as soon as it started. The lady even in counselling found it difficult to forgive her pastor. But wasn't she laying her frustration on another person?
PLEASE LADIES, THE LORD'S WORD IS THAAT WHOEVER SEEKS HIM WILL FIND HIM. FAST AND PRAY LIKE JESUS TAUGHT US; AS A HABIT NOT JUST WHEN YOU HAVE PROBLEMS.
FROM LADY IGO WITH REGARDS.
Perfect!
DeleteLady i go save,i love u so much..#PlentyHomo! U never dissapoints..Hahahahahaha.
DeleteNa waoh see story, when Muslim can easily marry Christians today. Which one you dey lady Igo. Shay na metaphor abi na sarcasm you dey portray.
DeleteChizoba nwamba nwanyi ibe'm it is you never DISAPPOINT!
DeleteLady igo with her stories, although they are quite interesting.
DeleteLol
Based on your previous comments, I suspected you were a pastor. Now I can confir you are one. It takes someone with GOD to have the kind of experiences you do. You married ??
Delete#confirm
DeleteP1...
ReplyDeleteHe'll out grow it...lol
If me n my mom wants to visit my younger bro in boarding school, he wud hide n request for me ONLY to come..until he got mature n outgrew d silly attitude...reason: he doesn't want to b called "mummy's pet". Kids!!!
P2 u dey fear?
Lol
P3 dupe him
Heheheheheheee
No do o
Narrative 3 no problem just make ur husband knw say wen hin die dem go Bury d children in d same grave with him bcos nobody go ready to carry hin responsibility wen he no put dem as next of kin. Nonsense thank God say i no marry dis kind man. My mama no born mumu.
ReplyDeleteLemme just eat popcorn n wait 4 comments
ReplyDeleteI go with Stella advice for poster1.
ReplyDeletePoster2 ha 2 weeks is too early. Baba which kind prophesy is DAT. Take ur time o. Know wat d guy is looking for pls. Be careful. Men of today ehn b careful of them o.
Poster 3; most in-laws are like DAT. Their vision of their son ehn wld amaze u. Pls hustle for your children. And polite tell ur husband that he shld care for his children too nw. And u canb lying that u are broke and b saving ur money pls. U hear their no harm there.
Poster 3: you better wake up and smell the coffee.God forbid anything bad happens,but if it does you go hear wen! You better insist he change all the names to your childrens name before the end of next week.infact I need a feedback on this case.women learn from other peoples mistakes.Don't fall victim before you learn.I don talk my own!let him change it to your childrens name since he doesn't trust you.
ReplyDeleteStels I beg to disagree. He doesn't want to see her n it's different from what boys do. If she was making it a habit ie going to see him all the time it would have been a different thing. Some guys will allow her come but see her where his friends wont see them. Poster try to find out his reasons. Do u dress in a certain way? Could be a reason. Involve ur sis if they r close. Most young boys will be proud to have a young soji mother. U just hv to find out from ur boy. Good luck. Make I go read d rest.
ReplyDeleteDon't conclude yet that your son doesn't love you. Try this. Pay him a surprise visit at your sister's place, wait for him to return if you didn't meet him at home and also go with items you feel he needs and see his reaction.
ReplyDelete3. Hnmm. I feel you should try and start saving for yourself too and also buy properties in your name if you have the wherewithal. Convince him to at least buy properties in your children's name if not in yours. I pray nothing will go wrong but you just need to secure your tomorrow. #MO
Poster 1 your son is telling you he is a man and he need to be independent. My nephew did that too and sometimes he wont even pick calls. So please relax just let him be. Poster 3, like some people told you on Babes Refined on FB may be your hubby is playing smart as a public servant with the public fund he is playing with, buying property in his father's name will secure the assets when Efcc take hold of him. Truth is bitter but sweet@ you cant do anyting against the truth. Who buy propety in other people's name other than his wife n kids if not some1 who has something to hide. Big man civil servart
ReplyDeletePoster 3- Madam who is your hubby next of kin? The answer might give you heart attack oh. That his probing excuse is flimsy! My sis gave me a very good advice ... When married, properties in both names e.g Mr Anthony & Mrs Mary Abayomi understand? Cos Mr & Mrs Anthony Abayomi dey risky cos there might be two Mrs & you won't know. This is cos hubby may be a saint but his family devils in disguise who will rob you of your sweat when pushing comes to shoving. He's buying properties in his brother name? No problem, buy yours in your name & your children name simple! As for His family attitude, tell them plainly it has nothing to do with you but their son is.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - Two weeks is to short for him to start agitating for marriage. Remember the saying... Rush in rush out. He will get to spend the rest of his life with you so what is he rushing towards? Take your time to know him better biko.
Poster 1 - Your son is fine & you are not embarrasing him. That is a typical teenage behaviour.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy sister' s two boys (same boarding secondary sch.) told her to minimize to once a month visitation, they are forming big boy.
ReplyDeleteUnlike before they will cry their eyeball out if she miss any visitation.
***********************
P2: In all these I didn't see where you say 'I 've prayed'.
Jer33:3 call upon God
************************
P3: Stay for river may water enter your eyes.
I pray nothing happens shaaaa
Enjoy ur top civil servant hubby.
************************
I dey collect money for pop corn
1k per one...
My sister' s two boys (same boarding secondary sch.) told her to minimize to once a month visitation, they are forming big boy.
ReplyDeleteUnlike before they will cry their eyeball out if she miss any visitation.
***********************
P2: In all these I didn't see where you say 'I 've prayed'.
Jer33:3 call upon God
************************
P3: Stay for river may water enter your eyes.
I pray nothing happens shaaaa
Enjoy ur top civil servant hubby.
************************
I dey collect money for pop corn
1k per one...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, it's a pity.....that ur husband n his people are up to no good. Poster 2, keep praying about it. But mind u even if u date a man for 10yrs before marrying him, if he is a bad person, he will still show himself @d end of d day. May God guide u. Poster 1, I can imagine ur heart ache. But teenage kids are like that, not that he is ashamed of u, he just wants to feel like d man he is not yet, Lol. Don't worry ds phase will pass, don't worry ur pretty head dear.
ReplyDeletePoster 3!!
ReplyDeleteWait,the properties are bought in the names of his family members?
What about your kids? Your name?
Hian... this is absolutely not acceptable ooh,considering the fact that in 6years,you don't have anything to your name in the marriage!!
How will you explain the fact that you ate your salary while he invested?
Your hubby might be a wonderful,sincere man.. but what becomes of those kids if something happens to him tomorrow.. Will your inlaws be ready to hand those properties to you willingly?
Do you even have a college fund for them?
I know how inlaws drag monies left by the deceased ooh.
Btw,during our marriage class,we were encouraged to have a Will.. Wills are not for the old and dying..or the Dangotes of this world.. Your hubby can actually get a lawyer to draft his will..infact your family will.. you can add new properties when you acquire them!
I still love the idea of hubby buying properties in my name or the kid's name... it is not stupidity,it is called Wisdom.
Poster 1
I understand how you feel dear..
I think he doesn't want his friends to know how young and hot his momma is.
Just make sure you mentor him properly a friend to him.. Try to get him to come over during breaks. Pray for your boy always.
@poster 2
Most people have whirlwind courtship that ends in a blissful union.
But with what I read here daily,I will advice you to just court the young man first...
Get to know who you intend to spend the rest of your life with before taking the plunge...
As an adult,you must know where a relationship is headed for 6months after the debut of your relationship. I wish you all the best dear...
*be a friend to him*
DeleteGreat One..
ReplyDeletePlease visit my blog www.mavinmis.com
Posster 1 I dun rem ur story, poster 2, it's not too soon,poster 3, d lord is ur muscle!
ReplyDeleteI'm selling groundnut .
ReplyDeleteIt's a good combination with popcorn, please patronise me.
I'm not up to a year in marriage yet soI'll just read comments.
Poster 1 I'm sorry about how you feel.
I pray your son comes around.
was hoping someone will sell groundnut....
Deletebetter person. God bless you.
Poster 1, when u say u went through hell to raise your son, wot exactly do u mean? Did u do some not so responsible things? Like sleeping with men for money? If your answer to this is yes, and ur son is prolly aware, then I think it's why he is dat way. But if u answer no to it, then Stella maybe right. He just may be acting like them boys do. What be d case, relax, he'd come around.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, a guy did tell me dat if he meets a woman he can spend d rest of his life with within few hours of chat, he'd know. Yes no doubt 2wks is too short a time in issues pertaining to marriage, but if it's not meant to be, even if u spend 10yrs courting, it's headed to d rocks. So open ur heart to him, if u like him enough, but keep ur head in d game and ur eyes open. Goodluck
P1. Allow the boy o Jare. He will outgrow it and get to cherish you. Poster2. Two weeks fast o. P3. Mother Christmas Weldon o
ReplyDeleteposter 1 i suspect ur son has failed out of school and thats why he doesnt want u to visit. i advice u to enquire at the school to see if he is still enrolled
ReplyDeletePoster 3, I am just speechless. Don't know what to say to u. Like really? Hmmm
ReplyDeletePoster2, just be watchful and be observant. I know someone that met her husband in oct and by dec, they are married.
Poster1, boys will be boys. They don't always like this hugs, kiss, or whatever way parents show affection to their kids. But just let him know u are not happy about his behaviour towards u.
N1, don't mind your kid he's growing up he will grow past that. Kids are different, just be good. N2, it could be true but don't give in to sex yet. This guys are smarter than you think. He might want to let you relax on the marriage thing and go down with you. N3, I shut my mouth real tight on your case, I no deh house
ReplyDeleteP1 calm down, I don't think any student in higher inst wud want his parents checkin up on him "anyhow". And pls don't blame that boi for certain shortcomings of urs.
ReplyDeleteU pay his weekly allowances n sch fees, who r U expectin to do it before? Me!!! Lolz
P2 its only a foolish man that will use marriage talk to scam ur "p*ssy". But some men go directly to the point(marriage), if he's been observin U for a long time.
P3 Ur marriage is smooth, why seek advice from the gwegz crew
You are so foolish what do you mean by gwegz crew? And hw is the marriage smooth when the only thing that is in her name is the ring on her finger that's if that one is even in her name sef you hunans need to wise up
DeleteSo sorry you feel that way...I would feel terrible. I don't agree it is a growing up phase. My sis has a boy almost 18, and while he was in school, he was so proud so show his mum off. He will even tell his mum to use make up, and look more beautiful...I believe sometimes, it is the way our kids are raised, and also there might be a disconnect between the two of them
ReplyDeleteWhile this might be the case, it is impprtamt to speak to your son about it. you should ask him about it and tell him how you feel. He is old enough. Do a self check too, about your presentation and hav him telll you what he likes about you, and what he would like to see change...This conversation should be done in person.
Poster2, how well do you know him? Please don't rush into marriage. Yes when it is your time, it is your time, but please pray about it, and let God guide you...
Poster 3...It is well...
Thank u jare (in relation to poster 1), the only one that has made sense here is true, how can ppl say its OK for him to deny his mum access claiming its a growing up phase. All cos stella said so. What isn't normal isn't normal and dis isn't
DeleteMaybe her son isn't doing well in school nd dsnt want the mom to know , poster will u be paying school fees without knowing how ur son performs at school? U need to think about his performance at school too Nd maybe u guys dnt have a relationship while he was growing up too
DeleteAll of una , one chance o.
ReplyDeletePoster 1-if ur son is school in Nigeria please check on him..100 level is a stage where tins happen or ask someone to check for u
ReplyDeleteAm a gal,d first day my mum visited me in school,university ....I was happy n shy dat everyone wld know my mum....n she did it well by seating in front of d school gate......
Lol
Poster 2 n 3 I no get advice for una... God would help both of u
#Running to read book-fut is for matured mind
Grabs d popcorn. I'm coming.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I disagree with Stella. Go to your son school, he may b hiding smt and have a heart to heart talk with him. Dress well
ReplyDeletePoster 2: too early, take your time. Dnt b deceived.
Poster 3: your husband is a wicked man
P1...Give your son space but keep being his confidante and friend. If you are too glued to him, start the ungluing process
ReplyDeleteP2...Have YOU prayed about him? What makes him angry? What is his plan about kids? What is his plan for his family, will you work or stay at home? How does he feel about inlaws visiting and caring from aged inlaws? What is his policy anout discipline? Do you have the same vision as this man for your forever? How does he treat others? How does he act when you are in turmoil? Who are his friends? How does he handle stress? Is he the type to insult? Sis ask yourself these questions before a man of God who will not be in the same house as you starts dictating your love life. People change BUT understanding a man's foundation will ensure you do not get any surprises. IF HE IS IN A RUSH THEN HE CAN MARRY ANYONE. let him allow you to get to know him, If he does not want to give you time then run, he is not the one.
P3...Wise up honey. Don't rock the boat but don't be stupid . your man is to provide upkeep , it is not entirely your job. If he is asking you to do it while he does capital projects then your name better be on at least one project. The food you buy, he eats right? Good. He needs to make you part owner of some of those things and you allowed for your inlaws to run your marriage. Young ladies, it is FOOLISH to do that. Stop trying to please people who have their own lives to lead and they just want a slice of your own pie, Stop that stupidity. Correct this nonsense. It is better to be the respected in law who people don't like than the liked in law who Noone respects.
Poster1,why are u being a drag emotionally?calling ur son every minute like he's ur boyfriend,why won't d boy tire for u!give him space and let him miss u.dont also think he isn't aware of all ur efforts to make him happy.he loves u more than u can imagine,but just let him be.
ReplyDeletePoster2,u need to still give that relationship time,cos time reveals d deepest secrets just as it heals d deepest wounds.snoop around his stuffs,#rme#its better to be safe than sorry,be sure he's not an opportunist.also pray to God by urself let him reveal to u too,leave all dese MOG them with their prophesies some ain't real.God talks to everyone dat genuinely seeks him.
Poster3,dats hubby of urs is just a selfish control freak.his attitude of not letting u into his will is bcos he doesn't trust u enuf (maybe he feels if u are on d will,u will organise to kill him,lol),and also cos he wants u to continually be under him depending on him by the time u spend all ur salary on the house.
Stop using ur money for the house afterall it's not ur responsibility!use ur own family too as excuse,tell him things came up and u have to send money for this and dat.if e worry am.he will complain then u will tell him how it's ok cos his own family are involved in everything of his,so why not urs'?save ur money and buy ur own properties with ur name, shikenaan!
poster 2, Is the guy working? If he isnt, just know that he is saying all that love crap for your money. One of my relatives was scammed by such a man. He was even talking about introduction and wedding. Unknown to us, he dey use the girl chop. HIS MATTER DEY HEAVEN
ReplyDelete@ poster 2- u better take ur time..dnt even like it wen a guyz asks me date him two wks afta we met talkless of marriage..abeg two weeks is too small..u better start doing under ground investigation..dnt rush into it before d guy starts using love to finish all ur money..a word is enough for d wise..@poster 3- ur case is critical oo..ermm u berra start saving up and tok to hubby dat u can't be paying for feeding etc..tell him to take up d responsibility and start preparing as in saving a lot of money for d worst ooo..wat is happening ain't good @ all..i'm sure ur hubby is ibo
ReplyDeleteLol I can't stop laughing @poster 3. Pls tell me why are yu worried? Ok yu are worried in case the man "kpeme" abi? Lol, are yu so sure yu won't die b4 the man. Instead of yu to be praying for long life for yur man, yua think about death. I beg no kill me with laughter.
ReplyDeleteMen be wicked even to their own blood ,he'll prefer his kids suffer when something happens to him . I hate those specie now ehhhn like shit . In fact their sight irritates me.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, I was going to type an epistle to you, but I no get strength. Na world war u wan enter for ur house so o but if you load ur gun properly u will win. It will be hard sha cos you've allowed rubbish for so long. My advice to singles before you get married have a marriage agreement. How you want things to be, what is acceptable and what is not. Infact get a lawyer to do the documentation. For me, an ideal agreement would be 1) no living with relatives yours or mine. (them dey follow spoil marriage) 2,If you're working, you'll both share housekeeping expenses. 3, Properties must be bought in both names fully spelt out, 4,husband takes care of school fees while wife takes care of all those extra expenditures that schools come up with, 5,Get a will both of u.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, please I beg you in the name of God if your husband cannot include your name in those property, tell him to put all the name of your children there instead of yours. Please don't regret your action later o.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I think you need to pay a suprise visit to your son, God forbid he is into cult or something else.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You guys should at least date for about 6 months before talking marriage. You need to find out each other good and bad habits, what makes him angry. There is so much to learn in a relatonship and 2 weeks is not enough for it.Tell him to be patient.
Poster 3: I don't even know what to say, it seems your husband has taken your loyalty for a fool. You need to sit him down and re arrange things. So if things happen, won't htey probe his family too? knowing that he could buy property in their names.
Wise up woman, don't let him make a fool out of you. This is not about finding trouble but to solve one before it begins.
Anon
Your son may be angry with you for not knowing his father he probably has friends who grew up with their father and have a good relationship with and he wishes he has the same if you have not explained what happened between you and his father start now he's no longer a child
ReplyDeleteDo you dress well if you were him would you be proud of your dressing
You are suffocating him give him safe don't call him every day call him once a week and even then be friendly I hope you are not one of those mothers that keeps reminding the son every thing you have done for him since he was born
You have raised him to the best of your knowledge abi ability its time to live your life go out and mingle and don't be scared to fall in love even your son needs a constant father figure
Go to his school without telling him on Monday go to his faculty call him and tell him you are in his faculty he should come and meet you there
Its important to have a good relationship with our kids but its also important to give them space that way you are telling them you trust them enough to make right and decent choices
You could also make him come to where you live every weekend abi are you living with a boyfriend?
Poster 3 madam your children will not forgive you if anything happens that your husband sef abeg snoop and ensure he has no family outside o
Just reading comments
ReplyDelete1. Find time and visit your son in school, he shouldnt be embarrased to see you. Sitting at home and assuming he is shy to see you cos of his peers is dangerous.\
ReplyDelete--------------------------------------------\
2. Its ok to start talking about marriage two weeks into the relationship, it doesn't mean he will marry you. Tie your legs and pretend to be a mermaid, let him meet your parents, pick a date for the wedding(remember your legs are still tied), go ahead with the relationship and let's see if bros will not 'change his mouth' if you refuse to play 'ball'\
----------------------------------------------------------\
3. Your husband is simply wicked and inconsiderate, if he doesnt want to buy the properties in your name, what is stopping him from buying in your children's name. \
Start singing it into his ears that you can't continue shouldering the feeding of the house.\
He has enough money to buy properties but still split bills with you.\
Madam shine your eyes and start saving your money; God forbid if he dies today, your inlaws will show you hell on earth.\
Lastly, table your matter before God.}
Poster 1. You don't have to visit him i. Hostel or his house off campus.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you can have a date were you hook up in an eatery or see a movie together. You can ask an anonymous person to send him this thread. And please don't nag him about it.
Poster 3, talking from experience, if he won't put your name on the deeds let him put your children's own, God forbid that anything happens to him tomorrow trust me his family will take everything, in as much as you love him and want to be submissive think of your children's future. I made same mistake in d name if love my husband passed on and his family took everything down to broom in my house, I am presently taking care of my kids alone with the help of my immediate family, my sister be wise.
ReplyDeleteN2...too good to b true, tell him u want to take things easy and if he loves u, he will respect that decision. If he becomes angry and threatens to break up with u if u don't agree to his terms on marrying shap shap, ABEG RUN OOOOO, D GUY NO PURE.
ReplyDeleteN3....Yea, I rmba ur post from FB. a collegue read it out to us in our staff room and see hot debate and argument!!!....I will advise u to quietly seek legal advice with respect to who owns a property vis a vis name on the purchase documents. also I advise u to begin to put some money/assets away making sure they r protected with iron clad contracts that will NEVER allow ur in laws hv access to them. all d best
Poster3..ur hubby n his family are very wicked,it seems they actually planned it.better shine ur eye ASAP.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,dat guy na 419.
To the single mum, pls follow Stella's advice. Your son loves you but wants freedom and privacy. To the single lady, pls pray ooo. Leave pastor says my sister. God can talk to you too if you care to listen and to married woman , is unheard of that your husband will buy property without your name or children. Pls do something.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 this is he first time I am commenting on his blog but it is necessary. My dear hang on. Your son loves you. I and my 5 sisters have a younger brother. This boy refuses to walk with us to church. Infact he told my mum to always park in the field so that no one will see us with him. We just laugh when he does all those his action movie. Because he is trying to prove to his friends his a not a mommas boy. Before he finishes secondary school, he banned my mum from dropping and picking him in school. Even driver, he said no. He must trek to school. My mum wanted to follow him to pume at awka he screamed noooo. My dear now he has grown much older he is no longer shy because he is now mature. He proudly puts us on his dp. Biko enjoy your life. Always call him and provide for him.
ReplyDelete@Narrative N1;he is just a boy who is growing up and precisely getting use to life..he aint rejecting you or ashamed or you either!!
ReplyDeleteBelieve me;as much as he means everything to you,thats how you also mean everything to him cos nothing on earth can be compared to A mother's love...you be his weekly allowance,fees et all and that is enough reason for him to love you more cos there are some single mums out there who dont do all these but yet their child/children always cherish them till the end of time...
#This is just A phase and dont worry much about it K!!
@poster two;2 weeks is too early for anyone to be talking marriage..it could be for real and on the other hand;it could be "Lust" or "LOVE" hyping his brain....
Now you just have to help yourself by doing your assignment;and what are they??
1)do A thorough background check on him to know he is for real and A perfect Gentlemen
2)make sure he has no baby mama drama going on his life
3)visit his parents as per said by him and ask some questions when you get there then watch their reaction(s)
4)sit this man down and ask him in A civilized manner "Why he wants to get married to you" in just two weeks of getting to know you..
#In anything you embark on dear;always go with your brain oooo cos people are not always what they seem to be...all the best to you !!
@Narrative N3,its A No,No,No!!
Believe it or not,YOUR HUSBAND IS HAVING TRUST ISSUES WITH YOU AS A WIFE hence why he is registering all his assets in the name of his parents and his...are you sure he aint using their names as next of kin too??
Alldsame from what i know;everything in his name is also yours since you wedded in court..or maybe he is using your ignorance to his own benefit!!
But the truth is;that act of his registering with his name and parents is just too suspicious for any ear that hears this..it sounds as if he has A plan ahead irrespective of him having one or NOT!!
@poster better sit him down or get him very high(with alcohol or with s*x) to tell you why he is doing all this..cos men eehh;FEAR THEM OOO!!
#what do i know sha??
XTREME MIXTAPE VOL.2;CLICK TO LISTEN/DOWNLOAD
@MARTINS ABOY
It worries me that ur husband would suggest u feed the home alone while he faces oda projects. I wouldn't have been stressed about it if our Naija men are loyal, but they ain't. Rara
ReplyDeleteN3....your man is selfish.Most men are anyway.Try and get a better paying job and start investing too.
ReplyDeleteIf he truly is a Christian who prays 2 weeks is not too early for him to know who he wants to marry....the test of if he is real or not it when he can wait for you to also be on the same page...don't force yourself or allow him rush you, be confident in your timing and decision before giving him a go ahead......
ReplyDeleteMadam poster your hubby is selfish and fooling you....properties should be both in your names for you to claim anything...if another woman shows up as mrs how do they identify you specifically...for him not to use any of the kids name sef na wa...for us we write my hubby's name and mrs(my first name then our surname......and please if anyone reading this is married and your next of kin is still your parents or brothers or sisters it is so wrong.....your spouse or your kids at best should be your next of kin.....especially the men, in my work experience I have seen a lot of them denied husbands benefits cos of that, only for his family members yo squander the money and leave his children suffering....be wise and don't let your hard work go to waste
Hmmnnnn...Men sha, poster 3 stop taking this thrash!!!! Like who does DAT?????
ReplyDeleteStop being a fool or a mugu, don't ask that your name be there but at least ur kids name na... Haba? Even if ur BIL is single he would be married sooner DAT expected and if he's wife is evil they can actually kill ur hubby ova did property issue... Am talking from experience!!!!
Men abeg stop endangering your lives.... Who says u must trust ur relatives than your families?
#3, You are being taken on a ride by your husband and family. Humph! His excuse is lame! Though, I read in between the lines of being a Public servant, at least a property should be in your name! I will advise you to get a Loan from your office, buy a property. By the time, the loan is deducted from your salary every month, your income will be small, manage that to feed the family, cutting down on expenses....when he complains, tell him your office is restructuring! Always be lamenting of being broke and show it! By force by fire he will bring out money to feed the house. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteNitty.
Poster 3: na so my papa do o! We told him several times he didn't listen and kept putting his family members names on property he bought. Omo when he died wetin our eye see no be for here o!
ReplyDeleteThank God my mama sef get plenty property, even more than my papa sef. Na so God save us o! Nearly 10years have passed since he died, we never sort him property finish. My dear borrow yasef brain and acquire some stuff for the sake of your children
poster 2, hope the person is not a medical doctor in lagos, bcos he left me in march with 9 weeks pregnant and 3 days to my wedding. he begged me into getting pregnant for him, he is igbo. so my sister be very careful.everyone is aware so he ran to a new place where he is not known and abandoned me .my wedding things are at home.snoop abeg to ensure he is not the one
ReplyDelete#1 Why not go with someone one day...wetin!
ReplyDelete#2 Pray abt it and study him closely. While you pray, close one eye and use the other to watch him.
#3 You better start collecting money from him and invest too. inukwa akuko!
No hubby or in law can do that shit with me, nigbati won fagbo!!!!
ReplyDelete