Why is love so complicated?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MARRIAGE AND BLOOD TIES.
Good day Mrs Stella,
Please i am an ardent reader of your blog especially the narratives and chronicles section.there's this issue myself (Dee) and my partner (k) are having though she brought it up recently cos its been bothering her seriously and its bothering me too now.
I am planning on engaging her this year and this is the issue we are having....The main story now is we have this twisted connection...
My blood sister is married to her uncle (her father's cousin), though my sister's husband's(her uncle) surname is different from her father's own buh they are both from the same village and the same town even.
so please sister sis stella we seek for your opinion and advice in this cos we love each other so much and she doesn't want to take chances becos its gone too deep and she's very scared of both of us not working out cos of this and so am I.
she's not into blog reading but i am hence why i am using it to my advantage this time,i have never thought for a second that in my life i will ever fall into a dilemma where i will be seeking advice from other sources such as this buh thank God.please i will like to see other visitors honest opinions about this.
HUH?I dont get it..your sister is married to her Uncle? that makes two of you in laws right?..Well i dont see why you cant marry her,unless i didnt understand your explanation up there.You are both related except that some tribes might frown at such marriages!
lets hear from other blog visitors on this.
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
THE ONE MINUTE MAN AND ITS EFFECT ON MARRIAGE
Good morning Mrs Korkus.
I will like to remain anonymous. am an ardent reader of your blog, I love IHN and chronicles of bvs.
Now to my problem : I met my boyfriend 7yrs ago and fell madly in love with him. We agreed on no sex before marriage ( this was possible because it is a distance relationship).
Fast forward to first week of February, I went to visit him where he is based and we got carried away and had sex.
Stella, it was few thrust then ejaculation!....hian!, I thought it was a joke, the same thing happened the next time we had sex. I was frustrated and unsatisfied.
Stella I really love this guy and he is making plans to see my parents this year. How can I tell him that i am not sexually satisfied and I don't want to cheat on him in future without hurting his ego?......
#pensive
LOL@hian!....My dear there is no easy way to telling him,just be gentle,if you keep quiet and trap yourself in a sexless marriage na you sabi oh.
This is the reason some people 'test' the waters before they marry oh.
Anyway what do i know?
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
COSTLY MISTAKE IN A RELATIONSHIP
Good day Stellz! I am not really in the best frame of mind now. Please I need you to help me post this on IHN, I need advices from you and my fellow bvs cos I feel like am gonna suffocate. I have been in a relationship for about fifteen months now with the most amazing guy in the world. This guy is so so good to me and love me to pieces but I always end up finding a way to hurt him. And this time around, I don't think he will forgive me.
My birthday was coming up, he kept asking me if I had any plans for it and I said that i didn't. And I knew he might plan something but I made sure I told him that I didn't want any party for a reason best known to me.
So three days to my birthday, I accidentally told him my reason(kinda personal), he got so mad, scolded me a lot, he even threatened to break up with me since I couldn't discuss my problems with him. He said i am too secretive and always forming independent, like I can always take care of my problems instead of sharing it with him like normal couples do. I apologized for that three days but he wouldn't talk to me, not knowing that he had forgiven me and was just planning a surprise birthday for me.
He didn't want to talk to me because he might ruin the surprise...Fast forward to my birthday, he opened a group chat where all his friends wished me 'happy birthday' and later sent a cake for me in my house. But then I was already mad at him for not forgiving me, so I didn't appreciate the cake. And when he asked me by text if we could meet, I said no. But he later came to my house to call my sister out to convince her to bring me to the surprise party at a five star hotel, but my sister also refused to see him. So he left, it was yesterday that his best friend told me that he had organized all his close friends, made sure they all bought gifts for me,but unfortunately i stood him up.
He had to lie to them to cover up for the humiliation he felt. At night, he broke up with me.
Now I feel so awful and mad at myself, I regret all that happened and I had the worst birthday. The thing is that I love this guy a lot, just that my stupid temper always ends up spoiling things for me.
So please my fellow bvs, I need your help in winning back my love..please what should I do?? Any plans on how to win him back and get his forgiveness?? You can cuss me out, I deserve it but please help me out.
Make i read comments on this one oh cos i am wondering why your boyfriend would come to pick you out on your birthday and you would refuse...make i read comments.
Let me sit and read comnent
ReplyDeletePoster three you are on your own rude ungrateful person. Its over silly girl, you are mean, wicked and vindictive glad he left your type fit kill man
DeletePopcorn plz
DeletePoster3,oya clap for urself,miss hard to get,continue to beg him,use his frnd,go to him everyday until he forgives u
Delete****LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*****
@poster1 : you are not related in any way, so I don't know why you are worried.
DeleteYou guys are just inlaw.
@poster2 : sex is not food
@poster3 : you are plain stupid.
Keep chasing him away ok.
You don't even deserve him.
Narrative 1, I'm Igbo and my cousin married an in-law, as in, like marrying your in-law's younger sis. Don't think anything is wrong with it.
Delete@narrative 2, it's possible anxiety is causing the quick ejaculation. Don't conclude yet, have a heart to heart talk with him to know if he had experienced this in the past.
@birthday poster, I have no word for you. When he insisted you should have known that something is up, girls being clueless since 1960, mtcheww! Better go begin beg am well o, and pray he forgives you. You vex sotee you vex on your birthday, #vexper
Poster 3 na WA for you ooo
DeletePoster one..... Marry her
DeletePoster two... Sex is very Very important in marriage... So if u know u want to get marid to him.... Abeg he shud seek medical help
Poster three... See want anger can curse........ . Go and beg him ohhhhh.... Even if it means kneeling on d road.... Cuz u reli embrassed him.... And plz try to control ur anger
2packs of popcorn pls and zero coke. Thanks
DeletePoster 3 tho.. Infact, *munch* *munch* *munch* *munch*
Poster three abeg waybill your cheeks to me...I have a serious urge to slap you! Idi nzuzu infact!
Delete@3 nah which kind yeye vex you dey vex. You be vesper? Better beg him till he forgives you. You can beg his friends to beg him on your behalf but please please please don't send any of your girlfriends to him oh before we hear stories that touch the heart.
DeletePoster3,i think u need deliverance,cos spirit husband is d one making u to chase away good men!
DeletePoster 3 I think U should try visiting himand then talk things over. I don't get y ur sister didn't see him oh
DeleteNa real wa! Me i just started dating a guy, few weeks after, one faithful day he was chatting with me. He told me he had not eaten (by d way he is jobless) I told him I had not eaten too nd I was at work. His reply was he was ashamed of me cos I told him that I was tired and just leaving work nd I wld not be able to cook for him. This is a guy we just started dating. Sometimes I think of this statement he made (ashamed cos I didn't cook for him) I gt sad anytime I rem. Snc then sha I stopped him from visiting me. So poster 3....pls go nd apologise to ur man. We hv a lot of gold digging men out there
DeleteBe forming o. Last last na u go use ur hand auction urself on OLX. Rubbish. I hv no advice foolishness, bear wit me. I dnt mean to cuss, I'm jst upset, na ur kind dey spoil market for the rest girls.
DeletePoster 3. I have to ask this. Did he tell your sister that he has planned a surprise party for you? Because if he did and she didn't come to try to convince you then that's just wicked.
DeletePray and go have a heart to heart talk with him. Apologize and promise to work on your temper. All you have done so far is to sow seeds of doubt in his heart whether or not you truly care and will he there for the long haul. You have to work at convincing him otherwise. Good luck
@anon 16.51.... sorry for the embarrassment jare. Naija men sooo unromantic. You're jobless and still demanding for food from someone who just got back from work, you never marry person you want her to play wife for you. Na wa oh! Would it have killed him to say babe i cooked come over. guys don't you realise a woman becomes to you that which you show to her...and am not talking about all those fake gurls who be cooking and frying eggs and washing cloth so dey can marry oh. Anyway, Efe may i share your seat with you?
DeletePoster 1 av gat this family friend who are igbo and two siblings are married from the same family. The guy is married to the lady and the guy's younger sister is married to lady's brother. No big deal!
DeletePortable viv when it comes to marriage sex is food. The first thing u should consider before love.
Delete@ anonymous 16:51, can't you see he's only using you? Sometimes things really are black and white.
DeleteNa wa o. I'm not even mad at u poster 3. But at ur sister who refused to see him. For what na? What's her own anger about? It would have worked if she cooperated with ur man. See wahala o.
DeleteWell, you know him more than anyone here. And you are in the best position to tell what will soothe his heart. No one here can tell it right, we can only suggest based on our own experiences. If I were to advice u now, I would suggest what I do to seek pardon from my hubby. But that's MY hubby, and it won't work for urs.
So u see, the apt way to win him back is in ur hands. That's a secret key every woman holds to her man's heart. And it's exclusive to u, and that key cannot be used even for the next man u meet. So we should be the ones asking u what makes him happy, when u answer that question, then I'll suggest u go for it. Abi wetin make person talk? Pele. Hope he comes around later.
Poster three you and your sister are both foolish. If you are poster three's boyfriend and you are reading this. Never take her back. She will take you for granted all your life.
DeleteNarrator 1: marry him or her
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2; buy a dildo (sex toy) if you so much love your guy. you can use it to satisfy yourself.
Narrator 3: you are very foolish. see where foolishness has landed you to. Pretenders always do the worst. The guy will never forgive you for the hurt. Instead of appreciating him of his cake, you are selfish.
many blog visitors are crying for a cake during their birthday, someone gave you yours (your Fiance) you were FORMING.
good for you
Madam marriage is for life dido can do that for life that's an emotional and sexual torture they should discuss about it there are other ways to satisfy a woman a man must be a complete man
DeleteLmao at #3. BVs una no go kill me o
DeletePoster 3, u r very foolish, ur sista is even more foolish! Lyk serzly? U wer angry wif him cos he dint talk to u for 3days cos he was angry @u? Just say the truth u have anoda bf u wer wif on ur birthday. Sstupid fool. Poster1 u don't have sence either, u guys rnt related in any way now. Mumus all ova ds blog
DeleteLol@ur comment, my dear I tire oh! All my years on planet earth hv never gotten a bday gift talk more of a boyfriend dat wld b so concerned , Na wa! Poster, the truth is u don't love him u just can't stay singled so forget all ur love rubbish it's a fat lie.....move on cos u don't deserve him , Bae pls if u stumble on dis blog kindly reply me cos I will treat u like a king.
Delete@mk you harsh o
DeleteSelling Popcorn things!!...... lol.... Banjo Oluwaseun (Anonymous) .. I don dey like dis ur Blog o..(Saturday & Sunday Laughs!! IHN! and Chronicles)!!
ReplyDeletePoster 3 na wereh dey worry you oh..go to your bF house nd talk things out with him,tell him u sorry dat you accept you were wrrong,your temperr bs,he'd accpt you bk,shed a tear that thing can weak guys,the ones that love you though..
DeletePoster 2. We've treated your ish b4
Poster 1.........................................
Why did you have to mention a person's name here. Ugh! Now that we know, what should we do with that information?
DeleteStella pls gimme 50'nera' own...poster 3 ure on ur own
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteI don't see any problem with you two...
You guys are not even related so what's the fuss about??....
Poster 2,
Please dump him sharp sharp to avoid cheating on him in your marriage...
Sex is very very important in marriage...thank God you tasted before buying but you can go ahead and marry him if you can endure...
Am man that can't perform is as good as my feaces...
Poster 3,
Take a sexy pretty girl with you to his house and Engage in a 3 some with him and he will forgive you sharp sharp....
Mtcheeeewwww....
Just move on,you have lost him...
Lmao! Linda u wicked gan! Bwahahahahahahaha.
DeletePoster three I feel giving e slap. But let me hug I wish u d best Bcos u ve lost something special.
Hahaha I think dats actually the best solution
DeleteLol wickedt Linda
DeletePoster 3 pele ehn
Just send his number to me
I am sure I will be able to convince him to forgive u *winks
Poster2 it's not a big deal. My ex and I held on for a long time and it honed first 3times of lovemaking. at first he blamed anxiety but eventually saw a doctor. He was advised to cut off sugar, or reduce drastically, and exercise. problem got solved. sometimes it could be diet.
Deleteposter3, that's what happens when you get too confident in someone's live for you. He lives you more than you love him, hence you treat him the way you do. Guys get fed up with stuffs like that, and trust me, the roles will change....I think it already has, but don't be surprised he might already be gone....
Poster 1 I aint too sure I understood you but it seems a bit close to home to me
ReplyDeletePoster 2 please do not even try to pretend because you will regret it.sex is very important and no ammount of cash and romance can replace deep orgasm with your partner so either u sort it out or run with the speed of light.
Poster 3 mmmm seems like ogbanje spirit is in action in your life pls see TB Joshua
#1...na now una dey think of a possibility of being blood relatives,wen una dey kpansh u NI tink am...anyway,from ur narrative,u r not related by blood.notin do u.
Delete#2...give him a benefit of d doubt,maybe he's match rusty.he probably hasn't had sex in a long time...even messi n ronaldo will not shine after a long spell on d sidelines...by d time he gbenshes u for a while maybe his form will return
#3...I don't Even pity u at all,as a matter of fact I hope he finds anoda girl ...see how u disgraced him.his friends will be talking behind his back dat he's a side guy n u were wit d main guy on ur bday
If d situation doesn't improve after while,get him fried dog meat n a shot of Nokia(N50) @ bariga or oshodi if u sstay in lagos...u'l be d one to run
DeletePls am I d only one feeling dat song "aww" by di'ja ?...it's on repeat now
@Bitchplis,you're not the only one o!That song is awesome..I can listen to it all day.
DeleteBitchpls,you are not alone...
DeleteI love that song die...it's officially my best song of the year...
That's my ringtone! And its always on repeat whenever I play it. Awesome song!
DeleteP1 No blood ties, so NO issues
ReplyDeleteP2 Too bad! But it can be rectified, at least he's not shootin blank. Attho some men lack the will to turn this situation around. I hope he sees it as a real problem. Good luck!
P1 Are you sure you're educated? I wonder who told you you can't marry your gf? Am I missing something here?
DeleteP2 If he was sexually inactive months or years before you had sex with him then his premature ejaculation wasn't abnormal. I think you should try again a few more times before you write him off. He could have been anxious or wasn't concentrating. If nothing changes, end the relationship.
P3 you are a silly little girl! Do you know how hard it is to find a good man these days? Don't you read chronicles? You have an awesome man and rather than treat him like a king, you decided to embarrass him. Men are highly egotistical so it'll be difficult to win him over with just a mere apology. If you really want him back you have to think outside the box. You can create a collage of photos of both of you showing all the times you've spent and memories you've made together . Let him see that you value your relationship and BEG him not to throw it all away because of your stupidity. Call him everyday and leave him messages until he responds. If he doesn't, show up at his house to apologise in person. Make sure you're looking hot! Do something romantic . And if you do get him back, treat him right. Women aren't the only ones who need to be loved and cherished.
P3: Just invite all his friends for an evening hang out, tender your apology openly & remember to dress super sexy....i will Love it. #J
DeletePoster follow Anon 22.06 advice. Best advice ever....
DeleteRomance novel dey spoil plenty relationships for girls for real! How could u refuse to go see a man who had made his friends wish u a happy birthday that same day? U think say 9ja man na character for Mills and Boon romance novel? If i were d guy, i wouldn't take u back.
ReplyDeleteHahaha
DeleteDon't mind the stupid girl. She thinks she's the finest girl in the world. P3 continue reading romance novels and watching romantic movies , you'll just grow old in your father's house.
DeleteNa real mills and boon character loooool
DeleteErmmm, Stella I need pop corn biko.
ReplyDeleteMatterz of the heart mehnnn
P1: I think you guys can still go ahead and marry each other.
P2: Just thank God you had sex before marriage oo. see what you would have suffered for the rest of your life. Anyways, see if its something treatable medically.
P3: Too much of forming is bad. sorry!
Please click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips
I have never commented but poster 3, you made my blood boil! Your temper will be your downfall in life if you continue this way!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I do not see the issue unless you are connected yourself to the uncle by blood. I know a friend who both her and her sister are married to two guys who are both first cousins.
Poster two, have sex now a few more times with your guy! He may be ejaculating quickly as he has not had sex now for at least 7years! Shebi u said you guys agreed to no sex before marriage!? Even if anything, you have a very faithful guy ohh if that is the cause!
U do know if u are married to ur cousin whether first or second its still incest.
DeleteI wouldn't date u if it were me . Hot tempered ppl can kill . Go find a hot tempered person like URSELF. Let the good man be so he can live long and meet a good hearted pers like him . Rubbish.
ReplyDeleteI agree wt u anon, when a man hasn't made love for long, he ejaculate easily. After a few trials he'll start lasting long. I think you've found an honest man. If you meet your guy after awhile without seeing and he comes after a long time, suspect foul play. Cos that's how it happens.
DeleteP1...if u are not cousins, marry.
ReplyDeleteIf u did not suck the same breast with her, marry.
Being in-laws is not a blood tie..
After all 2 brothers can marry from one family.
P2, if u know ur abunna will itch u after 1 short round, better tell him o!
Because its so frustrating, when ur body is gearing up to enjoy the "thing", ur man will just shout "ahhhhhhh" n release everywhere like fowl.
P3 i'd like to arrange a cool babe for ur guy.
Lol, u lucky o
Some guys will take u back, give u sledge-hammer style n take a walk coz u ain't appreciative. Change my dear! Cos "I no agree dey tear shirt"
Do something romantic displaying how much u really love him and showing how sorry u are.. talk with his best friend to..help U
ReplyDeletePoster 3, u erred greatly, even if u are mad at him, never take it too far. You could have gone out with him and frowned all thru, at least that's what I do. But I think you should go to him and beg him. He will definitely take u back. Tell him u took Ur anger too far. Promise him you'd do anything to make it right. Lastly, this part is very important, make sure u are crying all thru Ur begging, works all d time.
ReplyDelete@poster 1.Notin is wrong with your marriage plans as long as there is know blood tie.2:Just discuss with d guy gently.@poster 3.Na anger make God no gree Moses enter the promise land. Ur reason is not enof for your action, all U need is to rehab your anger first, pray and practice to be tolerant, bcos if U don't it can cost U a bigger thing b4 you take the next step.
DeleteDeal with the anger before it deals with you.
DeletePoster 3 I have no words for you,you let your temper get the best of you.i advice you take sometime and ask yourself if u rily want this guy or u r scared of being lonely before you start plotting to get him back.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 u r not related,please go ahead.
Poster 2 i'll leave d sex doctors to advice u
Abeg stella, u sell groundnut too? I wan mix am with popcorn
ReplyDelete1. It's incest.
ReplyDelete2. You've been in a relationship for 7 YEARS now you want to break up with him because he can't fuck. I repeat, 7 YEARS and you are just fucking him now. Na your yawa be dat.
3. It's girls like you that make good guys believe all girls are from hell. Why you can't appreciate what you have is what I don't know. You've lost him. Sorry.
Wats incest abt inlaws getting married...smh,cant two brothers marry two sisters....mtcheeeew
Deletedo u even know d meaning of incest...smh
DeleteTheir children will be half brother/sister. It gets complicated. It's notbadviseable for two brothers to marry two sisters. Most cultures don't allow it.
Delete@blackberry u no go kill person with laugh kia hahahaha @ release like fowl
DeletePoster 1: I see nothing wrong in both of u getting married. If u feel uncomfortable about it, u can discuss it with ur father to get his opinion.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I think u shld tell the guy now before u end up marrying him. U however have to be polite and calm while discussing it with him so as to avoid hurting his feelings/ego.remember a broken relationship is betteer than a broken marriage. U can help him by reading up on the internet how to overcome such. U can equally visit clinic with him. In that way, even if his ego is hurt, he will still feel happy knowing that u are with him every step of the way.
Poster 3: *takes a deep breath* u will have to work really hard to get that guy back. For the fact that he showed up on ur birthday shld have quenched wat eva anger in u. Well, u can start by sending him a text message apologising to him. U can get a good "I am sorry" card delivered to his office or his house. U can also get a good friend of his he respects so much to plead on ur behalf.
Poster 3 u see what your temper has caused?u let ur temper get the best of you,I don't think you deserve that guy,please leave him for someone that appreciates him
ReplyDeletePoster 1 you are not related
Poster 3 i'll leave you to d sex teachers
@ poster one,go ahead and marry her,if your sis is married to her uncle,that makes both of you in-laws. no harm in that,no blood ties @ all..
ReplyDelete@poster 2,since you don't feel satisfied with quick ejaculations,truth is,there is no easy way to lay it down to ur partner..truth is always bitter,say it and get it over and done with..however I must also tell you that sex is not all there is to a beautiful friendship,sex no be food..if the guy is all you've ever wanted in a life partner,then ignore the sexual aspect,you can talk to him about it and ask that you both see a sexologist or something..
@poster 3,you don't deserve that guy,that man is too good for you..
For someone that could take great pains to pull a suprise birthday for you,and yet you turned him down,methinks he has woken up from his slumber and realised that he is with the wrong girl.goodluck in begging for his forgiveness.
Poster ! - I cousins can marry why not you guys.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - God help you.
Poster 3 - Your type of temper is called Werepe. Go and beg him. Arrange for a surprise beg. Since na surprise bday cause gobe. But GROW UP
For d unsertisfied lady talk to him so dat u both can work at it.For u shakara girl u don lrarn ya lesson carry ya cross......*yinmu*
ReplyDeletePoster 1:
ReplyDeleteYou are not blood relatives. You are related only by marriage ties. You are strictly in-laws.
I believe you can marry but I think you should ask your parents if marrying would be frowned on traditionally. They will be able to clarify.
Poster 3:
My dear you went tooooooo faaarrrrr. I really don't know what to say but to wish you the best.
Hmmmmm Nawa o see d irony of life when sum r lukin 4 who wil luv dem odas r fomin vex! 4 ma life I hv neva receive a birthdy gift 4m any bf I dated, unless I bot 4 him during his own! Here u r behaving stupid MtcheeeEeeeeeeeee
ReplyDeleteN1, from your narration, you and your woman are not related BY BLOOD.
ReplyDeleteExcept your tradition is against your union.
So if tradition is not stopping you, kindly go ahead and put a ring on it!
N2, it is advisable that one does a 'test-drive' before buying a car.
Especially if you are not a Virgin, so as to not cheat when you eventually get married, seeing as you already know what xesual satisfaction is, and have experienced it.
Finally, the decision is up to you.
Think hard, and think deep, and arrive at a conclusion.
But you need to let him know in a gentle way.
Try to help him.
Suggest and teach him ways he can satisfy you in bed.
If he's WILLING to learn, nne, you don't have a problem.
But if he starts acting all indignant, and asking you 'IS XES FOOD?', babez, drop him like he's hot!!!
N3, your temperament and mine...na so e dey be.
But hey, allow the guy to cool off.
If you begin to press him with your apologies, you may end up pushing him away further.
Give him time. About a month. No communication.
Then one day, show up at his place without telling him.
If he agrees to see you and talk with you, you are in luck.
Then you can apologise properly.
Don't be overly dramatic.
Go prepared.
You might have makeup xes.
Then find out if you guys can give it another shot.
All the best y'all!!!
One month ke? When baby boy is moving on to another girl that's same week.
DeletePoster 3, sorry you lost him.
Something similar happened to me
Poster 3 so you and your sister get bad temper? Too bad. No matter what happened you should have forgotten since it was your birthday. It's even your boyfriend that's supposed to be angry not you. Anyway, try get his friends to talk to him and try and see him also. Then work on your anger
ReplyDeletestella how much is your popcorn
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I dont think the relationship is close enough to form a big hurdle to your staying together permanently. It is not as if it is your brother and her sister. It is a bit farther than that in my opinion so go ahead. But then, what do I know? I could be wrong.
ReplyDeleteSDK how much is the popcorn? the comments are the best bits on this blog.......
Poster 2: Hmmmnnnn life does not begin and end with sex you know? What about other factors one considers when in a relationship? Can you two stand each other? Can you stand his mannerisms? Can he stand yours? etcetera etcetera.... Like someone else said, dildos aka rampant rabbits can always be used to continue where he stopped....
Poster 3: Hmmmnnnnnn ndo oh!! Sorry. No excuse for bad behaviour. You got cake and you (and your sister) still refused to see him. I can only imagine how his friends are yabbing him right now. To think you suspected he might be planning a party.... Oh well - give it time.... He might actually come round after the humiliation has died down. Lets hope the love he has for your surpasses all else.......
Support "Saving Father" from the stables of a beauty with brains.......
Bitter truth is if he isnt good in bed sooner than Later all his charms will mean absolutely Nothing to her... A sexually starved wife has no chill
DeletePoster 1 i dont think its a problem,people marry like that where i come from unless there z something you re not telling us.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. That is why is good to taste before marriage to know what you re actually going into.
If you can endure then go ahead and see what you can do to help. If you can't,walk away instead of being an adulterer tommorrow.
Poster 3. Some girls are praying hard to find a man dt will care and cherish them but what did you do? You never appreciated it. You re too hot tempered!
Why would you refuse to be taking out on your birthday? Even if you re having problems,that would have been the best time to make up.
You stood a guy up for God knows how long in the company of his friends and you re here asking what to do.Those his friends knows what happened if you dont know.
Like the saying goes “you dont know what you have until you lose it”.
My dear prepare your mind for the worst ok? If he forgives you,thank God. If he Doesnt forgive you,move on with your life and maybe you will see someone you will appreciate.
Whatever happens i wish you all the best
Poster 3, if he truly loves you, he will forgive you, it will take some time oh, but don't relent. Keep apologizing and make sure you don't stay away. Pls don't use a middleman. There was something that attracted him to you in the first place, just keep asking him to forgive you.
ReplyDelete@Futardo u have to understand that the said guy is a human being and a man for that matter... u don't know how many times she might have been unnecessarily temperamental towards him.. perhaps this is the final straw? Sometimes, its not about love but inner peace and sanity.. poster3 has to decide if she wants the relationship. .
DeletePoster 1 u r nt related
ReplyDeletePoster 2 hmmmmmmm
Poster 3 am sorry but u need too work on urself. First
Poster 1 - You are related by marriage not by blood so what is the big deal? Marry her jare unless there is something you have not said.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - there is no easy way to tell him what he already knows. If you are still interested in the r/ship, just create a loving atmosphere & gently tell him how the issue makes you feel & how you'll support him in finding a solution to the problem. Oh yes quick ejaculation can be managed & the guy can last longer (speak with a doctor & read up on it also).
Poster 3- Your ego will be your downfall one of these days. You fucked up like this & you have not made any attempt to go begging him? If am in your shoes, I'll enlist the help of my family especially my mom & promise him heaven & earth on top. Siddon there & watch a good man slip through your fingers.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteYour fiancee didn't bring up this "twisted conection" ish at the early stage of your relationship until now that you want to take it to the next level....
It seems she doesn't love you enough to be your wife that's why she's bringing up all of these lame excuses.
Did you talk to her parents and they refused to let u engage her?
Both of u are just seeking for problem where there's none!
Na over sabi dey worry una.
Poster 2
I have never slept with a one minute man so I don't know what to advice you.
Maybe you should open up and encourage him to look for a lasting soluion to his problem b4 u marry him.
Poster 3
You sound so childish and stupid at thesame time!You were mad at him for not forgiving you earlier,why are you now bothered that he has finally dumped you?
You don't deserve that guy,pls step aside for another chick to take over and enjoy all you never appreciated...u love him my ass!
Mtcheeeeewwwww!
poster 3, nonsense geeh, wetin some girls no get u dey take am play suwe. mumu geeh, no advice for you from me dayo, if u really love him like u claim, no anger will mess dat up, especially on ur b day, u no love am, na lie u dey lie. na so u miss birthday sex. ntor.
ReplyDeletePoster 1-I don't understand ur problem
ReplyDeletePoster 2-tell him politely, nicely,, for example. Sweety I....
Poster 3-go to his house n apologize to him.... tell his friends to beg for u...then organise a small evening get to get for dem....
My bf bought me a birthday cake days after my birthday which was my bestie birthday, as it was not my day I tot it was for my friend.
N DAT WAS MY FIRST BIRTHDAY CAKE
Bv-NONSO
Poster 2: Your man may not necessarily be a one-minute-man. His problem might be linked to the fact that he was overly excited.
ReplyDeleteFrom your narrative you guys have known each other for a very long time and had not had 3ex. He came very quick cos of the build up of Adrenaline in his system. He has been fantasizing about getting down with u, and was probably knocked down by the softness of your skin against his.
My advise is that you talk to him about it. You guys can make it exciting but it boils down to you calling the shot during the act.
Dictate the pace while making lov3 and gradually he'll come around. I bet you'll come back with testimonies.
Poster1: ask around how things re done in ur place. Diff tribes, diff cultures n diff believes.
ReplyDeletePoster2: don't know what 2 say but let me assume it me. I'll sit him and tell him in a very subtle way how disappointed I am n how I can't spend d rest of my life with a one minute man.
Poster3: d only prob Uve is that u feel he loves u too much 2 let u go. Listen 2 Don Williams she never knew me, then ull understand ur situation better. "Memanie" is what my mom calls pple like u.
I'm not even going to say anything to that last poster cos d story is obviously nt complete....she omitted something...if u talk now nd/or cuss her out, tmrw she will write a rejoinder to tell u how u knw nothing abt her life nd abt why she does what she does. And hw she and d guy have weathered storms together nd this is nothing....so biko sort yasef out..........................but on a second thot let me just talk small something.....first of all I just wanna say ur sister is nt very wise at all....while u may Av fucked up it wz up to ur sister to play d role of UN peace ambassador nd at d very least hear ur guy out if she had done that....al ds wld Av bn avoided. If u have an older sister or an older frnd that knws ur guy wells nd ur guy respects him....let dat person call ur guy nd talk to him on ur behalf....if its a frnd biko let it not be a female frnd ooo....girls ain't smiling....or maybe if ur sis can humble herself nd call him up that's if he'll listen. Peace
ReplyDeleteHer sister no try atall.
DeleteLoveme jeje, you are just funny.
ReplyDelete1. Marry her.
3. Plead with his best friend to beg him on your behalf. That might ease the tension.
Kai! Poster 3 you be olodo ooo. i dey here dey receive birthday wish from only my bank you dey there dey fumble :(
ReplyDeleteLmao. happy birthday
Delete..
Bwahahahaha
DeletePoster 3: You don't deserve him. Please leave him so he can find and enjoy true love for once. No good man deserves to go through a relationship tiptoeing around their partner because of a demonic bad temper.
ReplyDeleteLeave him I say. Let him find someone ready to love him wholesomely. If he marries you, your temper will lead him to death before his time.
You need to sort out your anger, trust etc issues before you get into any type of relationship, even a one night stand.
Ayeesha
I only have words for poster 3
ReplyDeletePls I need your ex boyfriends number
Shebi he is now free from your wahala
I promise to treat him right!
I'm telling u. Pls poster post his number. Plenty single girls available.
DeleteMrs k..I should be ist on that popcorn list cos na my work be that....but try mime free popcorn sha....won't mind home delivery.....Stella u must enjoy ,e
ReplyDeleteMe*
ReplyDelete#1. U guys are not related, go ahead with ur marriage plans.
ReplyDelete#2. Unless u ve another plans, plane B. But if not, can u cope with dat for a life time.
#3.why will u start what u cannot finish? For me, fix a date with him,tell him how his friend told u about d suprise party and ask him to 4give u. Make sure he did, even if he doesnt want the relationship again but let him 4give u. if he do and still dont want again then take it to be ur price,period! But atleast let him know u ar deeply sorry for turning him down,that it wasnt intentional.
Lemme seat and eat popcorn with you please
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteYou are just being scared for nothing. I think this guy is only trying to be careful so you won't think otherwise of him.
Poster 2
it means you don't really love your boyfriend or lemme say you were not sure of what you want. Well i hope he accepts you back cos what you did was way too absurd
Odiegwu!
ReplyDeletePoster3 how am I sure you wre actually at home when he called you? What is your sister buisness that she too ignored the guy when he came to call you instead of even making attempt to cajole you to come? My dear you don't love this guy one bit and you don't deserve him so let him go. You aren't telling us the truth that's my own.
ReplyDeleteU hit the nail on the head. Dem hoes ain't loyal. Hope ur aristos will marry u now dat u have lost an eligible bachelor.
DeleteHehehe
DeleteU have an overbearing and pompous unforgiving attitude@poster3.thank God the young man finally saw through you.you can date your sister since she was ur supporter.village girl.
ReplyDeleteLol, I have been in poster's 3 shoes before o. There was a particular valentine year I was angry at leboo. Cos I was expecting to wake up to some gifts, but nothing. Anger has already filled my heart as he dressed up a nd went to work. He came back in the evening and asked me to dress up, I grudgingly did. He asked where I wanted to go. I said no where, we were already in the car driving the whole
ReplyDeleteof lasgidi. He kept asking if I was OK, cos I was so quite, I said yes. He took me to a new Chinese restaurant, but the anger in me no just let my brain function. I just told him to take me home. Mtcheeww. Needless to say I spoilt the evening. The next day, come and see begging. I begged to take him out. Spent my own money. Sigh. UNecessary anger na bad tin. Dear poster 3: you did to do some serious begging o. And work on your temper else you'd loss a good man.
U have an overbearing and pompous unforgiving attitude@poster3.thank God the young man finally saw through you.you can date your sister since she was ur supporter.village girl.
ReplyDeleteAm particular abt 2 & 3. No.2, my dear am in dsame situation but am confused.
ReplyDeleteNo.3, I Av dsame temper as u ND it almost cost me my relationship if nt for God, tnk God thrgh his help I Av been able to let go of pride nd hot temper . So work on urself first b4 thinking of how to win him back. Cos if u succeed in bringing him bk ur attitude might drive him again.
Poster 3...Watever is doing u is from ur village...hian
ReplyDeleteGrabs my popcorn
Buhaha
DeleteLADY IGO SAID TO POSTER 2:
ReplyDeleteYOU SHOULD BE WORRIED THAT YOU'RE COMMITTING FORNICATION:
Many times, folks worry for the wrong reason. This man has not paid your bride price and you've opened your legs for him to "thrust and ejaculate"; I shudder. When you get pregnant from this "few thrusts and ejaculation" you'd remember one thousand and one reason why the innocent baby has to be killed just like in yesterday's chronicle. For those who will think that "tasting before buying" is the way to go; now that you've tasted, what have you achieved? If you meet 10 more "one minute men" and you taste and dump them . . . what makes you different from a prostitute? Isn't it easier to live a fulfilled life in Christ and trust him to give you your own husband and make all things beautiful in his time for you? Why desecrate this body which is God's sanctuary just for filthy pleasures? Sex in marriage is a beautiful thing and I'm in it, I know what I'm telling you. God cannot be mocked; he has made marriage and prescribed that sex should be enjoyed in it . . .
A lady NYSC member serving in the north tasted and sampled until she got hooked on an alhaji all because of the huge amount of money the young alhaji was doling out (imagine giving a corps member 500k monthly). She was planning to marry him after the service year. The lady had noted that this man always wore a glove in one hand (the left hand). On inquiry, the alhaji told her that his doctor in London told him to wear it so that he does not get a chronic wound infected. In the last month of their service, she visited the man's house for the first time (they've been meeting in a particular hotel all the time). Permit me to quote her verbatim from hence; ". . .He asked if I wanted to see his wound and I said yes. He slowly pulled the glove . . . and I let out a scream . . . I wondered how on earth such aggregation of maggots were in a man's hand and never crawled out. he asked if I loved him and I said yes . . . He told me that I should lick his wound to prove my love . . . and when I declined, he sprayed a bottle of perfume on me and that's all I could remember . . ."
Well lady fi. . .(her name) was met while having maggots coming out of her vagina for 6 long hurtful years. She was so afraid to die that she couldn't believe she will no longer die even after prayers and fasting and she was healed (maggots stopped coming out). She understood from her then Alhaji boyfriend that her death after 7 years was to shore up his wealth for another girl to enjoy since another girl paid with her life for the one she enjoyed during her service year . . .
Ladies, it pays to CLOSE YOUR LEGS!
LADY IGO WITH REGARDS.
Hahahahaha.i love your comment.
DeleteAbeg Ur story no relate, did she tell u she was having sex with him for d money??? Wetin come concern d nysc girl story with her own, "madam cook-up story". I remain team sample before marriage, after marriage I will ask for forgivesness and stop sex without marriage. Yimu. After all that was what all u holier than thous did.
DeleteIt pays to open our legs...sex is sweet!
DeleteDear ladies,pls taste b4 buying*winks*
Lady Igo I hail oh
DeleteLol.
DeleteI was looking out for your comment.
Lol.
DeleteI was looking out for your comment.
Why are ONLY women castigated MOST for having pre marital sex and evacuation? Why are they always at the receiving end? What of the men? How many men are virgins before marriage? How many men have paid for evacuation? The men, the virgins marry, do they know how many ladies have evacuated for them? Hence, they don't have baby mamas drama? Sin is sin, to both male and females! Ruth slept with Boaz before he married her!
DeleteNo! I was no virgin before marriage. I fucked my hubby well! If you like cuss me out! I have no time for pretense and all these sanctimonious talks. It does not make me less a believer of Christ. We women are always casting ourselves in wrong light, indeed we are our own worst enemies! PREACH TO THE MEN ALSO ABEGIII!
ALL SINS ARE THE SAME! Every day when I pray, I always ask for forgiveness of all sins, because the bible says if you denied you have not sinned, HE will be more angry with you and our righteousness is like a FILTHY RAG before HIM!
HA! HA! EVERY TIME WOMEN THIS! WOMEN THAT! MEN NKO? HAVE WE EVER SEEN MEN CASTIGATE THEMSELVES?
Nitty.
In the corper's case, she was blinded by greed.
DeletePure and simple.
I mean, how tha fuqq would she have thought that God was blessing her through an alhaji?!?!?!
At least, she has learnt her lesson, and will help educate other gals, that all that glitters could be metallic paint, and not gold.
Sex should be reserved for marriage as God intends it to be. Its within marriage you should actually learn the ropes and over time develop the rhythm that works for both of you with understanding and love.
DeleteMany husbands who married as virgin usually contend with coming too quickly until they get adjusted. Learning some tricks too by both parties can also help.
Its better to wait just because God must have a reason for wanting it that way.
Most times people (male and female) who tasted before marriage have unnecessary basis of comparison which can lead to dissatisfaction and infidelity when they finally get married.
Pls note that a nice man ignorantly pushed away because of PE may turn out to be a sex machine down the road.
Sex is sweet and beautiful when practised with godliness.
Some people de cry for a birthday cake,u de form.u ve lost him so that is d worst u can do to a guy or babe b4 his or her friends too bad dear.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 and 3, I have faced the same problem in my relationship, at first I could not satisfy my gf, she talked to me about it and I worked on myself, now am better, bae complains I waste to much time and dis days, I don't even cum. Talk to ur man, tell him to stay longer. He can change, I did.
ReplyDeletePostet 3,
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to ur post
Try to mk him knw hw sorry u are for being so silly n den plead for his forgiveness.*pls work on ur temper biko before it costs u sumtn more*
N1: You go ahead with your plans, the relationship is not that close. But, you can find out from someone from her place who knows the custom. Wish you well.
ReplyDeleteN2: If you're sure it's not anxiety that caused it, then quietly let him know your fears. There's really no easy way to go about, but be as gentle as ever without bruising his ego. Good luck.
N3: Apologize, apologize and apologize again. Work on your temper too. Why would your sister refuse seeing him, at least even if you guys are angry at each other, your sis should have heard him out. Except she was tired settling you guys. Good luck
Anty Stella i need popcorn oh,make i sidon read comments
ReplyDeleteP1: Marry him
ReplyDeleteP2: Don't marry him
P3: You have lost him
lol @ Ochouba Chidinma. chai! I comment sometimes as super lady naaa.... I'm happy you're loving this blog...
ReplyDeleteI Will start with POSTER 3, maybe you are still young and don't know what a r'ltshp entails. I was 1nce like you,till I learnt the hard way. this guy obviously luvs u, ask some married women here. that have given birth to 5kids and married for 20yrs if d husband rmbr dere bday, talkless of organizing surprise bday. I pray he takes you back,and if he does beta hold him wit ur two hands plus legs.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2, I don't know how sm1 can stand a sexless marriage o, bcos if this guy is a 1min man abt age 20/30 +,how will he be in his 50's. if u love him try to seek help 2geda.
As for me, sex is a very intregal part of a r'tsp/marriage. I don't know ow i'll deal with a 1min man.
Poster 1,u still be pikin . Grow up b4 thnkn of marriage. And pls learn correct English. I hate that phrase. 'I want to engage sm1'...........FOREVER 16
Stellakork, its a really a costly mistake. she doesn't have a forgiving heart at all and that has caused her so much. i pray he takes you back.
ReplyDeleteyea, i got my blog id. can now comment as i want
ReplyDelete#1: As long as there isn't the issue of consanguinity, by Canon law and the Nigerian Matrimonial causes Act, there's no impediment to such a union. The issue of surname, identical or otherwise, is immaterial provided there is no blood relationship traced down to the fourth generation.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, the only obstacle you may encounter is the prevalent family or kinsmen tradition. I think it varies from one ethnicity to another. I know some villages frown at the union of children from the same family compound, regardless of no blood relationship.
You should find out more about your tradition and your family's opinion on the issue but as for the laws governing marriages in Nigeria and the Laws of God, you are in the clear. However, if your tradition provides amelioration by way of spilling the blood of any animal or person, regardless of how little the quantity involved, please, pretty please, head in the opposite direction. You may feel immobilised by your affections for your girl now but trust me, no love is worth making a deal with the devil for. Even if people spill blood on behalf of you or your family, you will still be linked with the covenant and the effects on your generation. If you damn the consequences now...let's just say, when the rubber meets the road, you would wish you were never born.
Talk with your parents about this and hear their opinion on this matter. I honestly hope your parents are okay with your impending union. It's a different matter if they don't agree with your choice of a partner on tribalistic or some other bias grounds. Though it isn't desirable to shun your family and marry for love, you may still get away with it but the minute it involves tradition regarding the laws of your land, you will be fishing in troubled waters.
All the best, my dear.
#e-bearhugs.
@p3 uv got the hrt of pharaoh, u too mean n wicked I swear,infact dat guy shudnt be wif sm1 like you Gosh!!!!!n ur sister sef eh na she wicked pass,e De run fr una blood......#Godforbid
ReplyDeletePoster 1 : He / she is not your brother, sister, uncle, aunt, father, mother, immediate cousin so propose already.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Hian! You have two options- walk now and be sad for a while or stay and be miserable for a lonnnnnng time.
Poster 3 : You do not really have a business being in a relationship just yet.
choi...gist senior gist!...
ReplyDeleteN1:
my 2cents is go ahead and seal d deal.nuffink wrong wiv marrying ur inlaw wen no b say na ur direct couzin or blood sister.
N2:
omo ur guy indomie cooks less dan 2mins b dat..sorry oh! buh ur case na God hand e de to perform miracle on dis matter.am sure doctors can recommend somtin to boost his libido.(n.b)after a swell time 2gera,sit him down lovingly n seek his opinion on his take towards married women who cheat cos dier hubby no de perform well for bed. wotever he says u hav it right der. gudluck.
N3:
iyanmiiii...dis ur case na story 4d gods ooh..person wey u luv dem no de vex reach like dat naaa...and again wetin com b ur sister own 4d matter? she wish u well at all or did u ask her 2 disrespect ur bf on top say una de quarrel ni? nna ehn,dats d height of an embarrassment to say d least cos u not only stood him up,u fall em hand gaaaan, his close friends wer der n am certain a relative or two outside the monie e don spend booking reservations and 3course meal.abeg put urself in his shoes would u wana b wiv dat kinda person in a relationship let alone marriage? things anger has caused in dis life na only God fit judge. well sha,if na me ooh na 2begin cabash prayers n fasting n while at it snoop around,contact and gather the exact same people dat attended the surprise bday party i repeat d same set of people after explaining and apologizing,without his knowledge,get a close friend who would invite him to the rebound party.while dem don de groove go far meet dj 2 end music den collect mic kneel down n seek his forgiveness alongside every1 present make dem no vex. tell him sometin from ur heart like a poem no 4get wit beta cry if u luv am true true ooh. even devil sef go advise am wen no b say em heart na stone de der.
gudluck.
The last poster that stood her man up, ihe ibu bu ezigbote ike garri tufia. I pity u, u have a strong mind n u don't love him. First of all, go for deliverance cus ur spirit husband is preventing u from settling down before u think of winning him back. Honest advice not insult oo. I wish u well.
ReplyDeleteP1, this is Nigeria Africa, think about it well but i dont think you guys are related. P2, wetin we go do now? P3, I feel for you and even more for your guy. Why do the good guys get the wrong naves and vice versa. Work, work, work on your temper. My mother always tells me that a quick temper ruin things faster than the wind. Apologise with all your life, there is this book they sell at bus garages on text messages, for birthdays, forgiveness etc. Buy the book copy all the I beg you messages there send give am. Find poem own and lullaby sing give am. Why because no man outside o, I swear no man. You come see one weh love you like this you deh form big girl. Just apologise, good guys are hard to come by. Am in a very pensive mood, today is my son's birthday and it is well.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I think u guys can get married. Why don't u ask one or two older people in both families.
ReplyDeletePoster2, We all make mistakes and over-react.Just make him feel or see that u are genuinely sorry. I hope he forgives u. And I have learnt something from your post.
stella wheere s my comment wetin I do u? abeggyy, dat pompous girlfrnd needs to see it
ReplyDeletePoster3 ur village "winches" @ work in ur life! Deal with it
ReplyDeletePoster 3: you no try atall see, for the fact that he got you a cake you should have at least listen or follow him. even if my enemy calls me on my bday i will hear him/her out, becox its a special day for me.Oya embarrass him with apologies you hear!
ReplyDeleteWITH REFERENCE TO POSTER 3: LADIES, IT'S GOOD TO EXPRESS YOURSELF BUT WHEN THE GUY SHOWS HE'S SORRY, LEARN TO FORGIVE ON TIME.. INFACT, MAKE THE SHAKARA NO TAKE TOO LONG. U GO DO SHAKARA WITH SENSE. AND LET'S NOT INVOLVE THIRD PARTIES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP MATTERS. YOUR SISTER CAUSED MAJORITY OF IT. INSTEAD OF HER TO ADVISE YOU, OR HELP YOU REDUCE THE ANGER, SHE PUT FIRE.. THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE. APOLOGISE AND GIVE HIM TIME TO HEAL FROM THE EMBARRASSMENT. PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES..WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE IN HIS SHOES???
ReplyDeleteposter 3:
ReplyDeletedo the samething he did for you but this time, don't do it cos it is his birthday, just do it cos you love him...simply invite all his friends to a surprise "i love your friend/my boyfriend party". im sure if you go out of your way like that for him,he will most likely take you back.....as for your sister, why didnt she bring you out when your guy pleaded with her to do so, she no try tho.
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeletePoster 1,not related.
Poster 2,I no know.
Poster 3,u are hard-hearted oh! Nawah!
I don taya for girls when nor dey appreciate, I did d same for my gf, I travelled for her birthday, baked a cakke, bought her a new phone, took the gifts to her office and engaged her, only for me to read a chat on her phone telling anoda lover dat her engagement doesn't mean she would get married. I am devastated.
ReplyDeleteShe never loved you....
DeleteYou were just her Mugu..move on jare...life goes on...
Poster 3....ur village witches are so strong dat u allowed dem get u. Y do u want to win him back?????? Now u love him...abi. I pity u o.....seriously.
ReplyDeletePoster 3: your temper should have cooled down when you received the cake... If not then.. Than DEFINATELY when he turned up to pick you up.. Moreover.. You've probably been bad mouthing your boyfriend to your sister, which is why she had the ginger to have an attitude towards him and refuse to let him in... Lesson to yourself, don't bad mouth your boyfriend to people!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all... I would advice you to drop your pride. I think being romantic is what's needed. Wrote him a letter straight from your heart (it's cheesy but if he loves you, he will appreciate the gesture) admit your faults, acknowledge that you have to change.. Then ask him to help you (men love feeling needed) then give him space. If he's on your BB.. Use him as DP lol but don't say anything until he's ready to talk. Don't choke him and make him feel overwhelmed. The trick is to make him feel wanted and desired. Good luck x
Hello BVS...
ReplyDeleteI'm selling groundnut ooo so you all can combine with Stella's popcorn and enjoy the narrative from Poster 3.
Oriegwu. ..
Who do you this kain thing e nur go better for am.
#1, Both of you are not related by blood from your story, only by marriage, so I see nothing wrong in both of you getting married. She is your sister-in-law, no crime whatever.
ReplyDelete#3, I was angry as I read your tale. Well, the deed is done. Send emissaries to beg him starting from your sister, who ought to play the peace maker between you too initially ....my fear is that even if he takes you back, it can never be the same, and he will start to treat you shabbily, that you will have no choice than to go on your own. Best of luck.
Nitty.
#3, infact ur sis messed d whole thing up,I expect she bridge d gap, instead she teamed up wit her. Send ur sis to him wit a letter of apology, pour ur heart n plz work on urself so that even if u loose him, u won't repeat such act. #2 discuss wit him, if it require treatment, support n stand by him until everything is okay#1 no cause 4 alarm,,,,,,,,,a man can marry sisters frm d same mum if they agree. U guys re just inlaw.
DeleteSo poster3,u were angry to the extent that u got a SURPRISE cake and u didn't go 'AWwwwwwww'???are u kidding me??U definitely don't deservdeserve that man....Just let him go please,Ahn Ahn!!!Some girls sha!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 3 I understand dt crazy meaningless and senseless kind of anger.the only thing that will bring your man back to you is you doing something that will melt his heart. If u can't think of anything that can melt his heart then I suggest you organise with his friend in a hotel or any place cool and tell them to invite him and give him a surprise apology. It will cost you time but I think he is worth it. His type is rare
ReplyDeleteChei @ poster 3 even ur sista no fit even quench fire bth of una need go see TB joshua 4 deliverance,i swear if na me b dat guy u go beeeeeeeeg scatter b4 I gree again nd u'll av to do smthng spectacular to prove u r wrth it nd waaaaait it haz to be more than sex,thnk of what wud mke go crazy nd do it,cry ooo if needed call his fam mmber or clse frnds nd suprise him also,cooooz no vex dat brother deserves it!
ReplyDeleteOkay P3 here is what u do: go to his best friend to help u organize all his closest friends den take them to the same 5star hotel and organise a surprise"am sorry party" for him it will work.
ReplyDeleteP1- you are not related by blood if your sister is married to her uncle. But seek counsel from an elderly one to know if it is permissible in your place
ReplyDeleteP2- Endurance can learnt. A sex therapist coukd help if you really want to work it out
P3- place a full page advertorial on the front cover of guardian newspaper to ask for forgiveness and send him a cake that is 6 feet tall. Thats how bad your apology should be.
AB
Narrator 3..you are a LIAR! You don't love the guy...love doesn't keep hurting people..d guy that opened a group chat so his friends can say happy birthday..bought u cake and wanted to take u out but u didn't go because?
ReplyDeleteYou don't deserve him...May he not take u back and may ur next relationship show u pepper...
Foolish girl
Poster 3, u don't deserve the guy jare.....how can he go all out and yet u allowed anger take the better of u...u need help coz even if he takes u back, u will repeat it....u have ' I DONT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY SO I HURT THE PEOPLE WHO TRULY LOVE ME' syndrome
ReplyDeletePoster 3: I need to get something clear. Did you send this Chronicle bcoz the guy ended the rship and u missed him so much that you want back OR you are this sober and repentant bcoz you found out ystday the surprise party he happily planned but u turned down???
ReplyDeleteAm afraid the 2nd reason seems more like it. I hope you REALLY love this guy as you claim. How did you feel after he broke up wt you? we're u still angry or u wanted a make up? And if the guy's friend didn't tell you abt the party, would you have sought effective ways to mend the rship? It seems u love him bcoz of d nice things he does for you. (forgive me if dts wrong).
You don't want a party bcoz of 'personal reasons'. Na wa!!! Quite funny
"If you love someone, don't hurt her/him intentionally" You shud hurt wen he is hurting.
Call him, visit him.....tell him how much u want to build the rship and that u have noticed ur flaws and will work on them. Be persistent, he will do shakara but persist. He has to. And babe, work on ur temper, it will save u a lot.
If he takes u back, Great!! Then again u need to be watchful incase he doesn't feel d same way any longer. Forgive him and move on. Don't be a side chic
Poster 3 dnt wait til a month to plead for forgiveness from ur bf as advised by a bv, plead now dat it is stil fresh. I suggest u meet wit his friends he listens to and xplain exactly wat happend to them and beg them to help you talk to him. You hv to stoop to woe him back. Wishin you all d best, dont loose hope, ok.
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo, some comments are chronicle inside chronicle. Kukuma send in your chronicle nah
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo, some comments are chronicle inside chronicle. Kukuma send in your chronicle nah
ReplyDeleteDrop his number let trust friends call him and apologize on your behalf
ReplyDeleteFriends Ike stella
Poster 3: you know he loves you, he always calms u when ure upset, sucks in your tantrums and is always apologising even when you're the one wrong. You thought he will always be that cool person whose got your back. News flash honey! He is human!!!
ReplyDeleteI will advice you to apologise deeply. Buy him gifts, write him a poem, send him love songs that express how you feel about him. Write him a love letter and send it to him by post. Get his closest friend to talk to him for u. Love doesn't die easily, u can still get him back. Promise him ull never upset him knowingly again and i'm sure he will listen. Good luck dear.
#2: Sweetie, an analytical approach to your dilemma and, indeed, everyone at certain crossroads in their lives, is the fundamental question, "what do I want?". The minute you consider accepting what you truly don't want, to make do with whatever is available, that's known as "settling". By the very definition of the word, it suggests you reduce your original standards to accommodate the offer present offer.
ReplyDeleteNow here's the tricky part. Sometimes the very thing you settled for ends up surpassing your expectations to your pleasant amazement or it may make a U-turn and come bite you in the a**. The latter has the higher probability of happening. As a guideline, the 2nd important question is "why do I feel the need to settle?". Honey, this question is extremely sensitive because it inadvertently reveals your self-worth. If you believe you deserve the best life has to offer, why should you even consider settling for what you don't want? What's holding you back from walking away because you know you are worth more than the offer presented to you? It's really not complicated, but the fear of the unknown has the uncanny ability to cripple ones mind. The problem is, our hearts keep on ignoring the vivid picture painted in our brains. I guess that's part of being human.
Let me help you out because the decision is yours, really.
1. How important is an active sex life to you?
2. Assuming this flaw worsens after you tie the knot, can you cope and live with the consequences?
3. Assuming you have a daughter facing the same predicament, what would your advice to her be?
Before your final decision, be guided by the fact that things tend to get monotonous and boring after marriage. Both of you need to keep the flames of passion and excitement burning by adding spontaneity and creativity to your daily lives especially in your sex lives. Sex in marriage helps to cultivate the love you both share and it strengthens intimacy. This love you feel now will fade away like an apparition when your partner can't satisfy your needs. You will become frustrated and bitterly hot tempered, you then end up resenting and not respecting your husband.
A lot of women who cheat now would have sworn with/on their lives that they would never cheat and they believed it at the time with every fibre of there being but...Alas! 5 years "post-swear", they are hooked on the very thing they felt repulsed by. It's easier to avoid danger if seen approaching miles away.
Good luck.
#e-bearhugs.
There are very things i dont realy understand about some nigerian girls,ladies and woman,,like this,,
ReplyDeletei so much love him but he dont have money,,manners,education,beautiful,,
skills ,,he can not last long on sex or on bed,and he loves me but his family dont love me,,mennhh where is ur love''?that is a stupid love wish,,a truely love are battles,even u lady or man are u full in nature''?
from swiss
Póster 3,Reading ur story made me "angry"
ReplyDeleteAnd Dis doesnt happen often.
And i dont know buh u dont seem to "get" wot u did
u dont sound remorseful about ur actions.
All u want is to get him back!
I really need to ask Dis...
Are u a selfish person?
cos its only a selfish person dat wil only think of him Or herself and not d partner in d decisions he or she takes.
He begged u.
Came over to ya house....yet
Den ur sis put d insult on d icing by refusing to come out! Jeez
I cant even begin to think wot was going vía his mind as he went back to d Hotel...
As he went back to his friends and d surprise party that he had waiting for u....
What kind of anger is dat??
i may not know a lot buh i know dat in Marriage,dat bn forgiving is Key....
And i also know dat u can hurt a Man as much as u want buh he wil forgive,cos he loves u and u have asked for Forgiveness....
Buh wen u bruise a Man's ego.....
Its a different ball game...
And that is what u did Póster
and sorry,i dont KNOW much about that.....
I can only make suggestions...
Go on ur knees....and Pray
that u Havent lost a good Man and that God touches him...
Pray about ur attitude and change for good,Then
Go to him....Ask for Forgiveness
GooDluck!
Póster dear,he is a good Man llike u clearly stated and u love him....
Awwwww....i so feel ur pain love.
Buh dats not a Death sentence u know.
There are things that can be done for him Medically...
Buh first Talk to him about it...gently
We have to tread softly here.
We have to be compassionate and sensitive.ok?
Talk to him about seeing a Doctor....
I am pretty certain that This wil be fixed.
May i also remind u that a Good Man wil always top a Man who is a Tiger in bed.
Just relax.ok?
We got This Boo.
@poster 3,yu r such a stupid goat,waat sort of rubbish post is dis,yu r keeping fings personal to us under anonymous aand yu still want us to help,yu hav a very big probs,i pray dat guy runs far frm yu,sick mofo,,dats one fing about gurls,looking for somefing wia dias none,yu wia angry bcos yu offended him?like seriously,,,yu r sick
ReplyDeletePoster 3 I seriously doubt your love for your now ex bf. Do not blame it on anger it was pride u wanted to show him that u too can ignore him. How can u claim to love your man and not long to be with him on your special day weather good or bad? For a guy to call u several times and then come to your house and u couldn't see pass your dramatic mode and acknowledge the fact that he wanted to let u know u r special meaning your case don extend to spiritual side. I think u need time off any kind of relationship until u can handle one...work on your self first, ask yourself y u r secretive, y don't u open up, y get angry over nothing (if a guy is angry must u join in d anger?), is it that u r not capable of love?, is it home problem? Answer all these questions sincerely b4 u start begging...cos if u don't address this now it could come up again later in the relationship. And don't be surprised if u don't end up with his ring oo miss Independent.
ReplyDeleteposter 3: lemme have his contact so i'll help beg for u.
ReplyDelete