Hmmmm......
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
DIASPORA HUSBANDS AND THE FEAR OF HIV/AIDS.
Good Day Stella.
Please I want to go anonymous on this.i just want people's view on this.i got i shocker of my life this afternoon when one of my pregnant friends I introduced to my doctor was confirmed HIV+.she is 3months pregnant.
She just wedded this January and her hubby is based in Germany.the guy just went back last month.
plz my question here is .this idea of having a hubby that stays outside the country and when he comes back after a year without you knowing what he has been up to with women knowing how promiscuous men are and you allow him to just sleep with you without going for HIV screening is it wise?
2ndly how will you tell take him to run a test that day he will come back knowing fully well that he will sure make luv to you that night? I am really confused and worried becos my own husband stays outside the country and i am pregnant too.i have this my friend that told me that as soon as she picks up her hubby from th airport that they are going straight to the hospital cos she no fit shout lol.
I wonder how she does it.please publish this let's hear people's view.
thanx
WOW...where in Germany does this man stay oh...how can he knowingly infect his wife?or did she infect him?did you ask her?if he is infected,it is a crime here to knowingly infect anyone and incurs jail term.
I dont know about dragging your hubby to the hospital for test straight from the airport but all these can be avoided.So sorry about your friend.Has she told DH?
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHEN LOVE DIES AND PUSHES YOU TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIF
Hi Stella, i've been a fan of yours for about 3 years even though I've remained anonymous on the blog.
I'm reaching out to you today because I'm at the lowest point in all my 35years of existence. I'm suffering depression and I'm so scared for myself. Even though I know God knows all I'm passing through, I'm not 100% spiritual but I fear God, have dropped all my bad habits, praying to walk 100% with God, a faithful thither and giver and yet I'm surrounded by all these challenges as I refuse to call them problems that envelope me.
I'm in an abusive marriage ,one in which my husband constantly verbally abuses me everywhere no matter the condition I'm in. Today he almost punched me, I saw the look in his eyes and I was scared, he wanted to drag me out of his car at a bus stop but I locked the door, he calls me names constantly and tells me he has no wife, he uses very hurtful and hate filled words and loves to see me in pain.
The same man who years back was begging everyone to please plead with me to marry me, the same man who promised to love and cherish me. To say I've found happiness is a big lie. I've cried so much I've stopped showing my tears and pain. At times I feel like just taking a long walk and never coming back, he calls me horrible names, mentally retarded, sick, animal, demon name it and even extends the name calling and insults to my parents which hurts me the most.
I don't feel anything for him anymore and he irritates me and even when I keep praying and interceding for him I don't know if I can bring myself to love him again. I'm at the darkest hour and I constantly shut back tears in my eyes, I have my health issues to worry about, my little son's health issues to worry about and I have no one to lean on.
Please put my chronicle on your blog Stella. I need help, maybe a counsellor, maybe your bbm pin. I want to pour my heart out. I'm dying inside slowly Stella, but the love for my beautiful seeds keeps me going. I know for sure today if I was working with a knife I could have stabbed him too.
I was in so much pain I almost slapped/hit him. I pulled his ears hard and told him to his face it all wasn't his fault, plugged in my ear phones and listened to frank Edwards worship while shutting out my tears. Please keep me anonymous.
OMG!
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NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
WHEN A PARENT FALLS BELOW A CHILDS EXPECTATIONS.....
Good morning Stella,i have finally gathered enough courage to send my story.
I Am 26 and graduated from the uni in 2013,i fell sick immediately after my convocation and have been bedridden ever since, although i am recuperating slowly,i am underweight and trying to gain weight so due to my appearance i am always locked up indoors.
My problem is that at this stage when i need my mom the most is when i cant find her,she prefers to leave the house to visit her boyfriend and comes back late at night leaving me with nothing to eat,she claims my father doesnt give her feeding allowance.
Shes a full time housewife so she gives me food when she wants,takes the little allowance my father gives me and is making my life miserable,i gathered enough courage and asked my dad why he doesn't drop money for food and his response amazed me,telling me his own side of the story compared to the bad stories she feeds me with about my father,i have withdrawn all my savings to feed us,not knowing she's given 50k monthly and we are just 3 in the house...
I have never been close to her cos i have been in school,so i am not aware of the drama happening at home,now i am unhappy,angry,depressed and all that would slow my recovery,should i just keep quiet and be patient or what should i do? Her mere sight annoys me.
Awwww sweetheart,i am so sorry about all this,can you confront your mum and have a heart to heart talk with her?
Poster 1 and 2.May God help both of you
ReplyDeleteWhy do people get married, become unhappy and miserable and choose to remain in that marriage. I need someone to please explain this to me. I'd appreciate a detailed explanation.
DeleteThis life is so short and you can enjoy it and be happy if you choose to. If you make the wrong decisions, life will be so long and unbearable!!!! Make person no go die because of "mrs" title.
omg poster 2 my heart goes out to you...when you give men attention too much they become full of themselfs my advice is to move on and act like you dont have a husband because to me it doesnt seem like u have one 'husband' should be ur friend, ur comfort and shield and not a pain in the ass my advice is start doing you, do things for yourself look good for yourself go out have fun life is too short for all the burden you carry you might end up doing something crazy out of fraustration trust me its not worth it and its definately not worth it if you are losing confidence and self value well thats my 2cents
DeleteAbout the girl in an abusive marriage, she can mail me at joynwaenugu@gmail.com incase she wants to talk, I was in her shoes before so I understand. So send me a mail ok. Take it all easy.
Delete2 women in poster 1 are u clean? Or u just want to hang d blame on ur husband bcos he is based abroad?
DeleteLet me tell u why women eat all shit and still stay in marriage wit my story il be right bk but I cant imagine wat God used in creating nig men im so depressed too but I refuse to die for any fool called husband
DeleteN1, how are you sure your friend didn't infect her husband?? Was she not dating anyone here in Nigeria before the guy saw her and married her?? Don't blame the man yet as your friend could be the original carrier. N2: so your husband just wakes up in the morning and starts abusing and Insulting you ?? You were in car with him and while you were listening to your frank Edwards, he just started Insulting and abusing you without doing nothing ?? If that's the case then he needs mental re-evaluation. Analysing your mail, one can easily deduce that you maybe seeing someone else or planning to start seeing someone else hence whatever your husband does, pisses you off. Anyway just know that it's jungle out there and some of the men you see out there are even worse than you husband. They might love you the first 1yr and thereafter they will be tired of loving you, and then they seek fresher p*ssy. Good men are hard to find oo. Work on your marriage. Stop doing things that make him get angry which leads to the abuse.
DeletePoster 2. When I git to the point when it became easy for me to think about killing another human being (ex-husband), I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was time for me to leave. I will not allow anyone to change my sweet soul abeg.
DeleteMy advice to you: run like a lion is chasing you. I have received that evil look you are talking about. Me too, I couldn't believe it. Was thinking the same thing- is this the person that was begging me night and day to marry him?
You need to let go of your dream and live your reality. I waka-ed with 2 children sef, not 1. Go while you still have your sanity. You don't want your child growing up thinking this verbal abuse is normal. I can't shout abeg.
@julit a lot of women prefers to stay unhappy in a marriage, infact, dey prefer to die in d marriage all bcuz of d stupid african belief dat a woman must stay under a man no matter whAt. See, women still beilieve in been inferior and doing whatever d society says, and eventually dey grow old unhappy and bitter, why deir stupid husband grow old happy and still make dem feel like trash. Most men believes deres nowhere d wife can go, so no matter what dey do, she will still stay wit dem. But No, women have to summon deir courage and make decisions for deir future. Poster 2 if u stay wit a man like dat, dont think he will change or u will luv him again. And if u stay, remember, yu have a son, if u stay bcuz of him, dose verbal abuse will lead to physical abuse, and if he injures and leaves u disabled, u wont be able to take care of yu or yur son. I'm not saying u shuld leave him, i'm just saying, think about yur future.
DeleteNa wah ohh...
ReplyDeleteAll these stories of HIV flying up and down...
May God help us all....
Poster 2,
What did you do to your husband that made him change towards you??...he can't just wake up and start calling you names....
Wetin you do madam????.....
If you can't take the abuse anymore,why don't you leave....marriage is not a do or die affair...
Poster 3,
Go and get a rich boyfriend that will be spoiling you....
Forget your dad and mum and face your life...at your age,you are still depending on your mum... Abegggiii..
Ur advice to poster 3 was just stupid, r u high on something or u like displaying ur stupidity constantly?
DeleteHaha Linda, didn't you read about the poster 3 medical condition? Poster 3, just concentrate on recovery ok. Don't give yourself unnecessary stress pls
DeleteSMH...
DeleteDid you read the part where she said she's bedridden?
DeleteDidn't you read the part where poster 3 said she was bedridden for about 2 years and just recuperating?? Sheeesh! Biko read well before you comment
DeleteU are a mad woman...did u hear her say she is ill and jst recuperating.. i jst can't with u, who married u?
Delete@poster1 : discuss with your husband
Delete@poster2 : may God come to your rescue, don't know what to say.
But don't die in silent
@poster3 : speak to your father n see if he can be paying the money directly to you.
Am sure is the husband that infested her.
DeleteNa wa ooh
Someone that is bedridden should get a rich bf????...hmmmmm,
DeleteDid you read narration 3 at all?
DeletePoster 2 must have done something. Pls share so we can all learn from it
DeleteYou must be really dumb to give such wrong advice...i trust u re a wild cat dats why u can afford to suggest she follows ur part...mugu
DeleteLinda,lol @ur advice!such advises will either come from u or mamie.but y'all trying to hang her for mischief,there's a lil sense in it in dat,d poster just needs to take her life in her hands,shes old enuf to get married sef,but if she doesn't date any man,na tree she go marry?#eyelashes#so poster 3,forget ur mum,she seem not so responsible!get up and make ur life responsible:get a trade,a job and get married.
DeletePoster2,with diaspora husband,from d way u are talking,seem u fear ur own hubby so much u can't ask him to do. HIV test?hmmm!and dats not a gud thing u should feel free to express ur fears to ur man abi na lion him be?and even if,u should find a meeting point if ur relationship is healthy enuf!
But then for all ya doing American marriage',i duff cap for una oo!cos I am still trying to psych myself to believe dats a marriage.i see it more as a contract to bear kids for some guy living his 'lavida loca abroad.#weldone sha,God is ur strength.
This habit of when a woman is being abused weda physically, verbally or emotionally and stupid Nigerians will decide that she must have done something to him must stop.. Even if she offended him cant he forgive his own wife? Mnyl with the stories i read here some men are just beast, devil reincarnates that show their true colours after luring innocent women to marry them..
DeleteThat being said.. Linda you have the Supreme award as the person with the most useless comments on this blog.. i usually skip your rubbish talk but todays own pepper me for body. Ode
Poster 1... talk to your husband about it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2..... Sorry, you need to find a permanent solution to this, maybe a family meeting or you both go for counseling.
Poster 3..... Sorry, God will help you.
Poster 1, tell your husband about it. HIV is not the end of this life. We are well advanced medically now.
DeletePoster 2, if I were in your shoes I ll have left the marriage. I don't know why women stay in an abusive marriage.
Poster 3, pls tell your dad to give you the money directly. And for someone to be able to afford 50k monthly on food, he can help you get a househelp that will help you with cooking and some house work till you fully recover
Na wa it is well to the 3 narrators.
ReplyDeletenot in the mood to comment. let me wait to read from others.
i know God will heal my heart today.
Amen & mine too. I'm sad.
Delete@love me jeje hope all is well with you?
Delete@love me jeje hope all is well with you?
DeleteHmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! Sigh*
ReplyDeletePoster1, evenif her hubby were in nigeria he would still get Hiv if he is promiscuous nd dsnt use protection,so let her ask d hubby to go for test wen he comes bck frm Germany, poster2, sorry for ur predicament, some men are evil nd I wonder if some men are just evil or their mother dnt do a good job in training them on how to treat a woman( mothers take note), but u dnt tell us what makes him insult u nd y he abuses u at will, poster 3, maybe u sit ur mum down nd talk to her nd also pray for quick recovery so that u would be back on ur feet to face ur life
DeletePoster 1....this your friend you talked about, didnt she and her boo go for thorough medical investigations before getting married? Isnt that supposed to be one of the criteria? Obviously they were already gbenshing before they got married. This (and many more) is one of the reasons why I dont support pre-marital sex. If d guy was the one who infected her, then he must have infected her before they got married in January (cos u said she's 3months pregnant now). This is a lesson for all the #teamgbenshingbeforemarriage. You better test what you want to gbensh if you must gbensh before marriage.
DeleteAs per ur question: YES, both of you should just drive straight to a hospital and get tested. Tell him before hand so it wont look like you are tossing him around.
Poster 3...It is well with you. Can you plead with your dad to give you your feeding allowance directly?
How many train their sons?
DeleteP1: whoever infect the other, if done knowingly is a wicked person. If you going to cheat on your spouse, why not use a condom ehn? smh
ReplyDeletePeople are just wicked
Please click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips
@poster 1 na wa o,thats y I don't like all these abroad marriage,my husband should be close to me,am not saying it's not possible to be infected even with hubby being close o,but at least you would know most things going on...
ReplyDelete@poster2 sorry about that,i know how you feel,most men change a lot after marriage
@poster3 sorry about what you are going through.
Infact na sorry I get to tell everybody today
Abroad or not, dsnt matter, is it all abroad men that have Hiv? Lots of nigerian men have hiv nd Africa has d highest so it dsnt matter
DeleteToday's narratives are very sad. It is well in Jesus.
ReplyDeleteN1: pls tell ur husband to run a HIV test when he returns, just gather enough courage, be bold don't be scared, if u want to be safe.
N2: God is ur strenght. Pls leave ur abusive husband. Don't allow depression take ur life
N3: pls just endure, she's your mother. May God grant u a speedy recovery.
My heart is so heavy for the narrative number 2 and I have said a word of prayer for her, please stay strong and never never ever give up, one thing you can be sure of is that life in general is in stages and phrase and every stage is but for a short while and wil surely pass. Keep praying and God will do that which only Him can. Pls n pls be strong.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: maybe instead of dragging hubby to the hospital from the airport just use condom till you can. Please be very careful. I really don't understand some of these long distance marriages, most times nothing good comes out of it. If your husband or wife can come and visit you yearly then he can work it out where you can visit him as well. I Don't trust long distance marriages.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: God is your strength. I will never advice you to break up your marriage but have you considered other options? Are you a Christain? Maybe bring the matter before your pastor, his family etc? I am sorry that this man is making your life a living hell. I pray that God will give you the strength to endure and take the next step whatever it is. I can't curse him because he is the father of your child but God sees all.
Poster 3: It is well. Maybe hire a nurse or help to take care of you. See if your dad can afford it where the help comes and cook and take care of you. It is well IJN.
Person never chop u say make she hire nurse
DeleteAnonymous 18:08 u cracked me up. Oh dear.
DeleteSeriously, her dad can afford to pay at least 20k a month for a house help. Or she should just move from that house. What sort of a mother is this? When she's old take her straight to the old people's home for not investing time, love and care into her future, which is you poster 3. I feel deeply sorry for you.
@Poster 2: I'd like to feel pity for you its just that I've learnt overtime that women misrepresent facts alot.
ReplyDeleteIf we hear your husbands side now, most of us will pick our bottom jaw from the floor.
Go and settle your issues with your husband. Na you know am pass.
Addyfel
Two nigerian men un Munich were messing with one kenyan girl..She infected them with hiv. Both men have wives in niaja, dont know if they ve told them...God is your strength girl...It is well
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm...are you the Kenyan?
DeleteLol,@Quiksilver,dis ur response is epic..... Hahahahaha
DeleteHmmm...In Germany here, Kenyan girls ehh, very dirty and cheap sex hawkers....And nigerian guys are so so stupid especially Igbo guys running after dem dirty Kenyan girls.
DeleteLadies Biko if u suspect ur guy/hubby cheats, distance urself from his wandering dick cos life has no duplicate...Tell him he is free to cheat but kindly delete him from ur sex life....Think of ur kids bikonu.
POSTER 2,im in a quite similar situation,just dat mine isn't severe and we are not yet married but engaged. We do not live in d same state,so its now we'v been 2geda like 2yrs iv started noticing certain things. Even dou he can be d sweetest person but lately started shouting at me for minute things. Calling me stupid,mad,idiot just bcos I told him an arguemnet btw me and a friend, said im stupid to keep such a friend. One day all bcos he was trying to sleep and I was brushing my hair,he grabbed d brush from me,threw it and it broke into 2. I was in shock..... The most shock was during an arguemnet,he broke down the door, came in and slapped me. Den apologises strait after. How about the times im ard staying with him, he comes back from work, 1am,2am,even 3am. on a working day and comes back reeking of alcohol.
ReplyDeleteThe strangest thing is he can be the sweetest most loving man ever. But when he drinks he becomes smthn else.
The problem now is im at a cross roads,i do not know if this slap was just a warn-off and I shld just continue with marriage plans,or is this what I will be facing when we start living together. Some friends have adviced me he may still change when we get married, that maybe its youthful exorbitant still worrying him, as his in his early 30's.
Bv's please advice, im seeing these things as a real warning red flag. Can sm1 just make a mistake and slap you once ???
Dnt marry him bcos he wnt change except he decides to
DeleteFrom slap,punching will follow,then beating u with a belt,give u an everlasting mark..nobody go tell u to run that time..my dear run for ur life o..forget all the rubbish apologies..he'll slap u again and again and again
DeleteHmmm. Seriously? With all these signs, u still want to enter and u honestly think he'll change? May God help you, because for me, I won't continue with d marriage to avoid sending chronicles!
DeleteHe will never change...infact,expect more when you eventually get married to him...
DeleteYou better break up with him...but if you insist on getting married to him,please feel free to send us your chronicle...
Your friends are stupid, marry this man at your own peril. God has shown you signs you are here still being silly better leave before you fill blogs with lamentation
DeleteSay what?
DeleteYou had better call off that engagement, for your own sanity.
youthful exuberance at 30 years? That's a very big lie. What happened to exhibiting youthful exuberance during his teens?
Nonsense!!
You have seen the signs, your man will only change for the worse when you guys get married.
Don't be misled by friends.
Pls quit that relationship now. This is just d beginning of a miserable life with him. You will regret it If eventually u marry that guy .mark my words. I wish I knew what I know today cos I won't be in d mess I am in now though we are currently seperated. He has abused u verbally and physically and u are still confused if he is abusive or not. Blog visitors will ask u if u didnt see signs of his abusive nature When u bring your chronicles later to Stella. Quit now and count your losses
DeleteRUN NOW!!!
DeleteWhat are you waiting for? Pls run for your life. And you want to go ahead and marry such a man. Biko no try am o
DeleteHmmmmm pick up ur running shoes and run. He won't change but will only get worse. You are getting serious red flag now oh. No slap or abuse is a mistake. Y didn't he slap himself by mistake
DeleteHmmm....my dear, people will say things work differently for everyone but I say when you start experiencing such before marriage, take a walk. I wished I experienced mine before marriage. I don't see my husband as I used to anymore. And I have become so defensive to the point that I told him last week that there was nothing more he can do that will be more than what he has already done. He's been quieter since then. I am eventually breaking free the way I know. Marriage is still on though but there has to be mutual respect as it's a two way street.
DeleteIf you and your friends think marriage will change him , then you all need your heads checked. You know he is not good for you , but I'm sure you aren't going to leave him. Can't wait for your chronicle of sadness. Mchew.
DeleteUr mind is already telling u d truth but am sure u don't wanna listen
DeleteDon't send in ur chronicles later
Pls I beg you DO NOT(with capital) enter that marriage my situation is just like poster 2. I dated my hubby for about 6mnths b4 we got engaged n 6mnths later got married. I wish I had seen even a little sign as you have I would not be in this physical n verbal abusive marriage I am. You have seen the sign it is not a one off. Run with ur heels touching your head. DH never really shouted or slapped me in 1yr b4 marriage but barely 2mnths after marriage slapped me for something I did wrong but since then slapping hasn't stopped whether right or wrong even while heavily pregnant. I have written this long epistle so you can learn.
DeleteHow can u still be asking that? He broke a door to get to u to hit u? 'ANIMAN'....runnnnnn
DeleteU better run.infact pull ur two ears and run!!!
DeleteThis is what we're talking about...95% of the time...The signs are usually there. But all in a bid to become Mrs. Somebody, you choose to ignore it. And you'll come back with chronicles later on. Better a broken engagement than a marriage that leaves you broken. Do NOT go into that marriage dear...you will surely blame yourself. All the best
DeleteRun for ur life oh.. End dt engagement now. Else by this time next year, u'd be sending us a chronicle. Marriage isn't beans at all.. He won't change. He'd become worse.
Deletehe's not worth it you'll get a better man,reason you're still in it is cos you feel you can't find a man when you leave and that's a lie
DeleteP2 until I hear from ur husband, I'm so lips sealed.
ReplyDeleteP1 all these hiv they r sharing, there's God o.
P3 how about living with ur dad? Or separately n let ur dad cater for u n sibs?
Wow. I have no advice today. I'm empty.... Let me see if I can have any later
ReplyDeleteIn the mood to read comments
ReplyDelete@1, between ur friend and her hubby, who infected who, u can't hold her hubby responsible for her condition cos, u don't know if she had HIV before she married, don't know what to say abeg.
ReplyDelete@2, u don't need to stay in an abusive marriage, marriage is not a do or die affair, if ur hubby does not respect u anymore i think u probably did something wrong cos men are not devil's except for a few of them, talk to him politely and if he insist that the love between u 2 id then take a walk,i hate emotional stress abeg.
@3, ur mum is a very wicked woman, am sorry to say, i ve a aunt who is like that,her children hates her so very much, u ve to get out of ur sick bed and husstle for urself cos ur mum is not ur nanny, don't think ur mum's behaviour will reduce ur recovery, just get that outta ur head and tell urself u will get well ok, i wish u a quick recovery.
Maybe your friend had HIV before she married d guy, how about that? Is it only men that infect women? Morover I married an abroad based man nd I stay with him now nd am pregnant I have done HIV test twice nd am free, so dnt blame abroad based, if abroad based or home based dnt use condom, they will get infected shikena
DeleteWhen I tested positive, I was so angry,but hubby was calm,he went for test,n he came out clean,and repeated the test, four yrs later,hes still clean,dear poster take it easy,he might not be the one that infected u.be calm,and talk with him.all the best
DeletePoster 2, if you are in a marriage or a relationship whereby you can stab your husband or significant other if you had a knife, then it's time to quit. No one gets married with the hope of being divorced or separated from their spouse in future, but sometimes you just gotta let it go.
ReplyDeleteYour situation is really sad but very toxic at the same time...it's a ticking time bomb. Am sorry to say this but your marriage is a farce. It might be very hard to let go especially when you think about the past and how he promised you heaven on earth. It's still better to let go than to God forbid, find yourself in a had I known situation.
People change for better or worse and sadly, it seems your husband changed for worse. It hurts and I pray that God will heal your heart and give you inner peace and joy.
You a family guy fan?
DeletePoster1 Please don't let fear bring a disease u don't have into ur life, pls just go for the HIV test so u can have ur peace and am so sorry about ur friend, nothing is impossible for God and she can still be healed.
ReplyDeletePoster2. OMG. Please pray for him without bitterness so God can answer ur prayers and don't forget he can restore ur marriage and give u a sweet home. Please don't fail God by making the devil to take over ur emotions so u don't regret. God does not fail and won't fail u. Before I forgot pray to God with scriptures on marriage, tell Him to touch the heart of your husband remind him that "The king's heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases"
so He can as well turn the heart of ur husband back to u and make him love you like Christ loves the church.
Poster3. Please don't hate her, tell her you want to talk to her, tell her how u feel and before u do that pray to God to touch ur mum's heart.
Poster 1 and 2 kpele. For health hair tip visit www.starryviv.blogspot.com
ReplyDelete1. Talk to him about your opinion when he returns.
ReplyDelete2. Let him know how he's hurting you with his taunts. Talk to a close relation who can mediate in this issue. Its well.
3. Talk to your mum also. I wish you a speedy recovery.
Nawa for all the plenty talking.
DeleteTalk raised to d power 3
DeleteThank god u removed d passport Cynthia lol
DeletePoster 1,if u r sure of urself,quieetly confront ur hubby abt d develoment,let him know he hs infected u,poster 2 did ur hubby jst changed or has he been dis way since he married u,if not pls give urselves a break b4 u kill each other since he irrtates u lready,poster 3 pls confront ur mum over her promiscous life style,but do dat once u r bck on ur feet,talk some senses into her,also go out n engage urself wit something so u can earn a living,dnt depend on her any longer,make her see u r fiercely independent n she ll curtail her excesses wit small boys,I hate women who r promiscous,cnt deal pls
ReplyDeleteHow did u know it was d hubby that infected her? Wat if she had bfor she got married?
DeletePOSTER 1, nawa o. The rate at which I hear a lot of pregnant woman are HIV positive,you will fear. I have a friend who worked in the lab of her fathers hospitals in lagos. Our men need real re-orientation, bcos some just believe sleepn around in dere single days na aluta continue. Some even become worse after marriage bcos b4 dey had parents monitoring dere movement but wit marriage no1 to monitor dem. Even d wives cant talk n deyll listen. It is only girls will teach how to manage a home. WHY NOT OUR BOYS ALSO.
ReplyDeleteI don't even have advice to give xcept pls talk to your hubby about this, let him know what is happening in ur friends home, so he can be aware say HIV no dey show for face. Make dem atlst wear condom if dey wanna stray.
POSTER 2, are u sure dis man ever loved you ? pls sit him down, do it in aloving way, tell him how much you love him and how much you are willing to fight for ur marriage. Show him kindness in xchange for his cruelness. Look for whoever his closest too, let dem advice him. Go and see his folks, cry out to them. Exhaust every opportunity to make amends, PRAY PRAY AND PRAY.if all dese doesn't work then please LEAVE. But atlst you know u tried ur best.
POSTER 3, you need to grow up and dictate your own life. Leave ur mother alone, get strong, go out job hunting, find a partner,plan ur life. You are too old to let your mother be affecting your sanity. Don't send her in the house, greet her, be cordial and go about your own business and ur life................FOREVER 16
Did you not read that she is sick and bedridden ? How can she go out job hunting ???
DeleteOkay am the depressed or angry but first
ReplyDelete@P1 call ur man and threaten him, make ona dey fear God with friend friend lie oo
@P2 I got tired of your story, yawn! guess it was boring with so much faults, u need advice, simple change ur bad character and hey I don't joke with mortal, try and learn martial combat with it and beat the hell out of him one day when you are ready; but first drug him.
P3 Hate,dislike, grudges and worries ati gbogbo orishirishi confides us to external weakness, so my dear you need strength. Stop noticing the boyfriend part. Receive God's healing and ooo raise up and be strengthen to start doing the exercise mummy does and you know why she comes in late.
Am out
N1, how are you sure your friend did not infect her hubby???!!! Most of you with abroad hubby sleep around a lot. Rubbish!
ReplyDeleteThank u for this , her hubby can come from Germany nd even claim he did HIV test some months back nd was negative, so wat will ur friend do? If ur friend have not called her hubby to allay her fears, then she might be suspecting herself too because that's not d first man in her whole life, at this point u cnt blame d hubby cos u dnt know who did the infecting
DeleteN2, stop lying against your hubby, he can't just change for no reason.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: no comment
ReplyDeletePoster 2: just put small slices of razor in his food let him eat and die
Poster 3: get sum guys to rape that mother of urs. She is wicked
My opinion sha o. Do it at ur own risk sha
Rape ke!!! Are u sick? *smh
DeleteI'm sorry, second time u r makin this slize of razor blaze into food. Pls its not cool. Someone myt actually try this. Some men r nice dear. I hope U meet one of them nice dude. Thanks!
Delete@sixfeeta
DeleteMeet a nice dude and treat him well!
Sadly hurting people hurt others
Poster 2. Sorry for all u are passing through dear, God will strengthen u ma. But don't u think it will pay u to walk away? To have ur peace and to also to stay strong for ur child/children? My kind advise.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 please If you are not working kindly look for something and start doing no matter how small. When you are less dependent on him, I bet you the abuses will stop. @poster 1. The Lord is your strength.
ReplyDeleteAll these one sided stories i wish we could get replies like that couple omg that story tooo madddtttt
ReplyDeletePoster 2,
ReplyDeletePraying to God with bitterness, hate and unforgiveness in your heart will produce no result. I believe you still want the marriage, that is why you are praying for your hubby but first you will need to forgive him and take away any form of bitterness and hated from your heart. It's not easy I know, but ask God to renew a right spirit within u.
Secondly, if you cannot take the abuse, pls run from that marriage instead of thinking to kill your hubby. Marriage is not a do or die affair and besides no man is worth dying for bcos you no be Jesus.
#peace#
Wonder why kids always expect their mum's life to stop because of them but give dearest daddy free pass to leave......
ReplyDeleteYou've failed to make sense.
DeleteHun... u fixed ur head n 4got 2 attach d brain 2 it! bet why?
Delete@quiksilver u wicked with dis ur comment, belle don dey pain with laff
DeleteI believe she may have a point, it is the woman who has to always be child concious.
DeleteSadly men societal may be looked upon with a kinder eye than women . But in the Bible sin is sin not male or female
N1, how re we sure ur frnd is not d one dt got d HIV first? N2, u guys need a family meeting, or better still take a vacation n cool off. N3, find job, am same age wt u but I stopped collecting money from my parents like since 2008, dt should 7yrs ago. But I understand u were sick all dis while n its good u av recovered. Jusst talk to ur mum n find urself something to do, u will be much better. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why men abuse their wives. What level of. Anger would push a man to hurt his wife. My wife can talk for Africa when she is angry but I just look at her and ignore her. @ poster 2, tell your family members about it and your pastor too. It is well.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:Tx God dt ur a believer,i will advise u to go back to God n ask for divine intervention in ur marriage n u should continue to play ur gud part to win back d heart of ur DH.Peace in ur home IJN
ReplyDeletePoster 1-Distance marriage or relationship is never the best.Life itself is not magic.2 people in a relationship need to to be together to work at it make it work.For you and your friend(s),find a smooth way to talk your husband(s) into running a test and that would be after you are both sure of yourselves.Discos with him and be open o cos prevention is always better than cure.
ReplyDeleteposter 2-You talked about you and your child's health issues-is there a secret you once kept or keeping from him cos we men don't like discovering that you not what you once claimed to be-it can change us overnight if not just be happy,go to people and places that will make you happy and see how better you will be .Pls strike out that word 'Depression' from your head its a DEMONIC WEAPON TO AN EARLY GRAVE.Be happy and stop thinking...just be happy as you pray to God.You think yours is d worst?you never see people in real wahala b4 o.
Poster 3 Confront you mum,tell your dad and let him start giving you your own money directly.Shikina!
What do u know about marriage, go and marry 1st
DeleteNa wah o...
ReplyDeleteAm so sorry to the three posters.
God is with you all.
HIV nd pregnant....
N1..the only way out is to have a test once he is back. Stand your ground and insist on a test. Don't buy the trust blackmail he will try to use, remain firm in your resolution to have a test done, on both of you sha.
ReplyDeleteN2 nd 3 ..no matter how dark the night is, it must give way for day light.
You all need courage to face up with your situation. To make difficult decisions before it becomes too late especially letter 2. The Four Most Important Gowns Every Lady Should Wear in Her Life Time; The Gentleman and His Strings of Ladies. Kindly click www.thepinkjournalng.blogspot.com.
ReplyDeleteNO2 biko find ur way ouTta his life what nonsense,leave dat house so u can live 4 ur child...
ReplyDeletePoster 2 biko leave dat man so u can live 4 ursef n child...
ReplyDeletePoster 1. I think am into the same situation with you. My Husband stays at Europe, stays for 8-10months before coming back. Before he travelled back this January I found out from his facebook that he has been cheating on me at Europe and also in Lagos here, I even read a chat where he told his friend that "the girl in Lagos fucked him like his wife use to fuck him" I confronted him, he denied it. That is bcos his friend likes vulgar talks, can you imgine that? And am the fool that is faithful right? The thought of cheating back occurred to me, but I forbid it, cos I too have feelings. Pls. Someone should direct me where I can get a sex toy. So right now am so afraid, and the thought of asking him to go check for his HIV status when next he comes back occurred to me. Pls Stella and my fellow blog visitors I also need ur advise.
ReplyDeleteHow do you expect your husband to be away for 8-10months without fucking?
DeleteYou are not married stop deceiving yourself. Better leave him and get settled with a real husband. Even enemies see each other more than once a year. He has just trapped you while he is living his own life. Hope he is at least pumping you with €£$.
Delete@Anon 18:32, you mean I should go ahead and fuck too? Since am not a humanbeing abi, and my body be firewood. Since I can endure it, why can't he? He has his papers and can be coming back less than that if he want. So is not my fault at all. Ur advise is not what I need.
Delete@ Anon 18:32, you. Mean I should go ahead and fuck too? My body no be firewood nau.
DeleteGoogle zee virtual media.com
DeleteMy dear...do not be afraid to ask him. It's your life and if anything happens to you today, his life will go on. The amount of HIV positive patients I'm seeing these days infected by their spouses is alarming. God be with you dear
Delete@queen the boss...didn't you read poster 3 has been bedridden since 2013...ur so dumb.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmn.......... Diarris God o!
ReplyDeletehmmmm, it is well!!!
ReplyDeleteAbeg Stella and fellow BVs, what is the full meaning of DH and Bae. Decoders oya over to you.
Hope say u go do BIS for me after I decode for u, shine teeth#.
DeleteDH: darling husband
Bae: before anyone else.
Clap for me
Hmmmmm@poster 1,2 &3 All is well.
ReplyDelete#1 Hope its not yr friend? She shld tell her hubby abt it.
ReplyDelete#2 Check yourself Ma'am.
#3 Worry less abt it so that you can recover fully. Jesus cares
Poster 1: It is a tough decision but it will be a lot better if both parties talk about the "possibilities" of being affected and the pre-caution of not infecting the other. Why I hate loose people #My head ache#
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Speak to him in a quiet place when he is truly relaxed. Tell him about how you truly feel and be confident when you speak. Wish you good luck.
Poster 3: Sorry about your predicament. Do wake up and face reality; people are tired of fending for grown as adult who should be taking his/her own responsibilities. Go get a job; when you can and when you're a lot better healthy-wise. Best wishes.
Poster 2: Do you enjoy suffering or what ? Please talk a walk from that marriage now that you are young enough to find love . He abuses you and hates you, yet you remain. It's obvious you hate yourself, pls grab your self worth and leave. If you are worth anything to him , he will work on himself and fight to win you back .
ReplyDeletePoster 1; tell your husband about your infected friend, if that doesn't scare him, I can't help you. I doubt most husbands would agree to be dragged to the lab from the airport. Both of you should take regular checks together.
ReplyDeleteMennnnnn
ReplyDeleteUhmm.. so much pain in today's narrative.My dears all will be well I am particularly concerned with the story ofPoster 2 Belive me No one can ever understand how the shoes hurts except those wearing it.. Give your husband some space maybe you should leave the house for a while with your kids. You have developed so much hatred for him and that might stir up something yiu would regret. You have to take a break off that marriage, at least to think why you should remain in the marriage and also buy time to let off your resentment. I know this isn't easy at all. To think that one who u belived to be you better partner and friend now turns to be d devil. Just stay calm, if you not working maybe you should get involved in something like a business that take you off him more often. I know you would be fine it just might take some time.Or have you ever had a time with him to discuss the reason for his attitude? Its important Well pls just in belive God at this.moment. All will be well.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Am here to read comments and some is just onpoint no doubt...
Congrats BUHARIANS..... Sai Buhari
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
@ the queen and the boss of this blog, are you sure you understood the 3rd narrative?
ReplyDeleteA lady who is just recuperating from an illness since 2013 should go & get a boyfriend. Nawaoooooo. If she doesn't depend on her family who should she depend on?
Poster 3, may God strengthen your body and heal you. Good food is a factor in regaining strength and health. Tell your dad to buy more food stuff & he can visit more or get someone to take care of you.
I'm on the fence with this one. I'll read comments and contribute later....
ReplyDeleteHilarious election memes – HERE
LADY IGO TO NARRATOR 2:
ReplyDeleteTHERE IS A WAY . . .
Your story will move any married lady like myself; especially those of us in a lovely marriage. Marriage is a blissful thing; love is beautiful and your pain is going to be drained from your heart again when you do these;
1. Shut your heart to his abuse and bury yourself in God's word or take a holiday if you can (you didn't tell us if you're working, how many kids you have etc.) You need to reflect on your marriage from the beginning to the point when the issues started and concentrate and pray and fast and look into God's word. If you chose to take a break; even if it is to a church camp, friend's house etc. let him know what you've decided to do and be very truthful about your movement because the truth is that spiritually, you're still under him. You need to work on your temper for stabbing him can lead to a life time of regret and it is not worth it. Christ was insulted and he replied not . . . have you been called Belzebul; the prince of demons? He was called all that and more.
2. The fall out of number one is a heartfelt decision to stay or to exit (like you mentioned). The first option is wishful and possible as well. You can decide to let him see you as a "changed soul" for the scriptures says that you praying wife can win you husband over without words (1 Pet. 3:1). The condition for this is submission; yes that is the condition and you have to endure . . . perseverance is one of the fruits of the Spirit; Gal. 5:22 etc.
3. If you find out (during your introspection) that you did any wrong; confess to him and to God and obtain healing for your soul. James 5:16 -confess your fault one to another that you may be healed. If you do not forgive him his own faults too, you will not obtain forgiveness for his word says forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us . . .
I've given you a foundation to work things out from.
I know a lady who was abused as you are by her husband. She fell into depression and finally they were living like two strangers in the house. In her heart (after taking the above steps) she had forgiven him. She came back from work unexpectedly before time one day and found her husband on top of another lady in their shared bedroom (at that point the man had driven her to be sleeping in the guest room). She greeted them and left . . . called back at work and excused herself. She went to the kitchen brought out food and served them lunch in the dinning table and told the husband with a smile that "lunch was ready for him and his guest" (the man hadn't eaten her meal for months). The nude lady (now dressed) bust out in tears. She asked the man; it this your wife you told me was a she devil? Oh God please forgive me and help me to be like this lady . . . the man's wife wiped her tears and embraced her and she left. The husband was so ashamed and remorseful and pleaded with her not to leave. She looked at him and said "J. . .(his name), if I were to leave, I would have left you since but I love you . . ."
Beloved, these couple are missionaries today as I write. What can't God do . . .the obstacle is usually YOU!
LADY IGO; WITH REGARDS.
Lady igo will soon snatch d pulitzer prize for epistle writing from GW n cristiano ronalda...I enjoyed d story though
DeleteThis brought tears to my eyes.I wish I could be this strong .
DeleteRubbish. If he caught a man on top of her in their bedroom would he stay ? Marriage is not do or die abeg.
DeleteI think that these are the things that makes women stronger than men
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteYour story made me teary eyed
Verbal abuse is the worst! It messes with your self esteem especially when it's coming from someone that's meant to protect you
I pray God comforts you,you're in my prayers
Poster 2
ReplyDeleteYour story made me teary eyed
Verbal abuse is the worst! It messes with your self esteem especially when it's coming from someone that's meant to protect you
I pray God comforts you,you're in my prayers
Poster1... Come get a hug 4ur friend n a pet at ha back. I don't like distance marriage,I never did. Two are meant to live togeda,even couple dt live togeda has loads to attention to pay not to talk of dos dat doesn't! But again,HIV is no more a death sentence,pple manages diff kinds of infections n dieases... But,why don't u guys hav a heart to heart talk wt ur men,either u join him or he join u? Above all,always pray,inugo? HIV can be changed to clean blood! God has done it b4 n he will do it again. Poster 2. I absolutely undasnd it when love goes left but believe me,u can turn it alive,u can make it beautiful again,u have d power to change ur self and dat change will transform ur husband. Stop expecting his love n respect,concentrate on Gods love, no body,I repeat,nobody can love u like God so let no one fake it! Stop nagging cos I can sense anger in d tone of ur write up,don't talk back to him,be a woman! As soft as mother teresa... As gentle as a dove! Slow to talk n slow to anger,ok? You can do it! Yes u can!! This hopeless marriage will come back alive. Don't agree wt devil in destroyin ur home, ur marriage worth fighting for. fight d devil nt ur man,and u can't fight wtout a weapon,who goes to war wtout a weapon n come back alive? So darling,ur weapon is d word of God! God will make all things beautiful again. Ur husband is ur husband n what he can do 2u is limited but God is ur God n what he can do 4u is limitless!!! U will smile again! Devil is a liar,once again,stop fighting ur husband,fight d devil n ur weapon is d word of God.I recommend "FIREPOOF" movie 4u,it will inspire u a lot. Poster 3. I'm glad u ar getting beta,m so sorry abt d whole drama,sometimes life just happens! I want u to look at it like dis: what if u did nt recover alive frm dat sickness wuld u b alive to agrue n get angry ova all these? Pls darln,sit urself down n count ur blessings and afta counting dem,call ur mum n hav a heart to heart talk wt ha,choose kind words while talking,I understand dt pains can put bad words up but pls,take charge of ur emotion. Above all,pray 4everyone... This too shall pass! I dreamt of a place where everythn is beautiful again and all broken things got mended! This is our reality hence forth pls agree wt me!!! Cheers u all.
ReplyDeleteHiv posive and pregnant,um pls do all u can to prevent the baby from the disease, this is not the time for who infected who o
ReplyDeleteUr concern now,should be ur health,and that if the un born baby.my friend had three hiv -kids,though she was positive, and hubby negative. Never seen live like theirs
I mean love like theirs
ReplyDeleteanony 15:31,pls leave dat relationship now.ur friends are advising u wrongly.the slap will later become serious beating,pls leave now b4 u send in ur narrative of "HAD I KNOW'.
ReplyDeleteanony 15:31,pls leave dat relationship now.ur friends are advising u wrongly.the slap will later become serious beating,pls leave now b4 u send in ur narrative of "HAD I KNOW'.
ReplyDeleteanony 15:31,pls leave dat relationship now.ur friends are advising u wrongly.the slap will later become serious beating,pls leave now b4 u send in ur narrative of "HAD I KNOW'.
ReplyDeleteanony 15:31,pls leave dat relationship now.ur friends are advising u wrongly.the slap will later become serious beating,pls leave now b4 u send in ur narrative of "HAD I KNOW'.
ReplyDeleteanony 15:31
ReplyDeletepls leave dat relationship now.ur friends are advising u wrongly.the slap will later become serious beating,pls leave now b4 u send in ur narrative of "HAD I KNOW'.
#2: Awwwwww! My darling, my heart breaks for you. Feeling trapped in a loveless marriage is one of the hell on earth experiences and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It puts you in a dark place where negative emotions run amok in your head and the slightest provocation can push you over the edge figuratively and literally.
ReplyDeleteDoes he just start verbally abusing you unprovoked or are there certain things you do which trigger the abuse? Darling, I'm in no way justifying his actions, they are despicable, but unless he is mentally unstable or under the influence of dark forces, it's highly irregular for him to constantly rain abusive words on you without provocation. Especially since he wasn't like this from the start. Sometimes we do little things we consider harmless but they could be potential ticking bombs to our partners. Be sure you self-evalute and make sure you're completely blameless. You can even ask him, on one of his good days, some of the things you do which gets on his nerves. Honey, he is your husband, there's no shame in "stooping to conquer". As a matter of fact, you actually stoop (wisely) to conquer a lot of marital challenges. I know this may not make much sense to you now because you're emotional but when you're calmer you may appreciate it better.
If there were ways to salvage your marriage, wouldn't you explore them? You may think your love for him is gone but it's not, it's in there laying domant because of how he treats you. If both of you can work this out, you will be astounded at how your feelings for him will surface.
Please stay and work things out, sweetie, if all women where to walk out of their marriages during the stormy marital weather, over 85% with be divorcees. It's not always the best for a wife and mother to flee the nest each time problems occur in her home, then return back when things have simmered down. There are a few exceptional cases where moving out is cathartic. I'm afraid I don't think yours falls within the category.
I'm consoled that you are a woman of faith because we may cheer you up and assist in the best way possible but only God can mend a broken spirit. You can't stop praying and meditating on His words. God can restore the love both of you once shared.
#e-bearhugs.
Poster 2,,
ReplyDeleteso u walker from ur home enter stella blogs to tell every body that your husband is a madman?
a madman who carry u inside his car from house and stop at road to be calling u name'?
a madman who will wake up one morning started calling his wife he bed togetherness with for no reason names'?and u still dey call God name here with this bigest liar'?PDP woman'abeg becos of this ur story i no go marry that lady my mama bring for me again,,from swiss
Linda fucking Eze.....you are such an irritating idiot....shameless goat....so in your retarded mind he should have a reason for that kind of behavior? Is that the gutter way your parents brought you up? Stupid fool, only God knows the kind of children you are breeding....learn to consult your brain before you type.....if your mum taught you that a man should not respect his wife when she does something wrong then u better learn the truth today.....nobody has the right to maltreat the other in a marriage.....if your partner offends you then address the issue not behave like this posters hubby....
ReplyDeleteBabb your comment is utterly stupid....you must be retarded...someone is bedridden, no one to give her constant meals or be there for her yet she has a mother who lives in the same house, collects 50k monthly for feeding and you say she is expecting too much....you are a total idiot walahi.....you obviously can't read, Olodo
ReplyDeleteHonestly Linda Eze that you are stupid or plain daft I can't seem to decide...anyway you are a half baked illiterate so comprehending English is hard.....always rush to be first to comment but never read to comprehend...she is bedridden, lives with her mum and her rich boyfriend will come and be coking for her abi? Ok u don't know the meaning of bedridden, sorry I forgot....for those saying she depends on her parents, didn't you read where she said she had withdrawn all savings for feeding? So her mum is collecting 50k monthly to feed the family with food she does not see and for complaining means she is depending on her mum abi? Is it an outsider called boyfriend that will be cooking for her or buying takeaway everyday? I believe posters come here for advice and if u truly want to help Stella's ministry of changing lives, read well before you come here to vomit rubbish..mschweeeeeew
ReplyDeleteYoung lady sit your mum down and tell her how u feel...the talk will help u feel less hatred towards her I believe....if she doesn't change tell any of her relatives she respects to talk with her...and don't bring her boyfriend issue in the matter, ain't your business for now....if that fails ask popsy for feeding money till further notice, your mum might also be going through her own frustrations being she is separated from your dad...a lot happens in the lives of parents children don't know.
Poster 2: begin yo do things that make you happy...if you have done all to reconcile and he still doesn't change then put your acts together and take a walk.....it's not easy being in a loveless marriage and sadly society has less sympathy for abused women.....begin to put yourself and kids grist...don't mind all the you must have done something rubbish....if you did anything is it not to address the issue and move on, if at all it's an unpardonable sin then say you will not marry again period.....no one has an excuse to abuse another in marriage....anyone who cannot forgive in marriage is nit ready to marry, but if the forgiveness is always from the women and people here are saying he has a right to behave this way because u did something then that's rubbish....no human is worth dying for..."no marriage in heaven,if u try your best and it doesn't work, then take a walk...
Honestly Linda are you just joking or this us his you reason? You obviously have no good relationship with your brain.....una dey fight? Gosh
ReplyDeleteI am ANON 15.31, thankyou all for your advise. I really have a lot to think abt bcos it wont be easy leaving like dat, time is not on my side,i turn 33 nxt mnth. I have decided to at least hold on to picking a date, as even him is not in a rush. I keep wondering where I would start from if I leave at 33. He has all the qualities iv been looking for except this anger issue, there's nothing I ask for, that he doesn't provide for me. Will I ever even find someone else that will love me like this, and will I ever even love like this again. I will have to do some serious prayers and soul searching,i know dese are real warning signs,it's either I decide to live with it hoping he'll change ,or I walk away. Sometimes by the next day he doesn't even rmber what he has done. He broke a door, and started asking me what happened to the door the next day. I was like, ARE YOU FOR REAL or ur joking. THANK YOU ALL
ReplyDeleteThat one worse pass. Anger +forgetfulness.
DeleteBabe,ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
Hey poster 2, I'm a psychotherapist and have dealt with a lot of women going through physical,verbal and emotional abuse. Based on the information you provided, there isn't much to work with. We need your background information,the kind of family you grew up in,basically your family dynamics,any history of mental illness or alcohol abuse in your family etc. There must be a reason why you choose to remain in that relationship. Do you feel his anger stems from you provoking him or it's just his nature? Have you had a conversation with your husband,and if so what was the outcome? Does ur husband indulge in alcohol/ substance abuse that ur aware of? What was his childhood like? Do you think he's close to his family? All these things also play a role in the behavior of people. How is ur interpersonal relationship with others? Do you keep yourself busy by working or engage in recreational activities to help cope with your depression. How do you cope when you feel upset with your husband? Do you have any coping skill you utilize when you see him and feel that disgust/distain towards him? Any suicidal or homicidal thoughts and has there been any attempts currently or in the past. If there were any attempts,how did you plan to carry it out? Any health issues or medications taken currently? There are lots of questions to be asked in order to get to the root of the problem.
ReplyDeleteI'm an ardent reader of this blog but will keep looking through to see if u have answers to some of these questions. I will send my contact if ur interested in talking to me. Let me know where you reside while you make ur decision..........@Bia Bia🌛🌛🌛🌛
Hey poster 2, I'm a psychotherapist and have dealt with a lot of women going through physical,verbal and emotional abuse. Based on the information you provided, there isn't much to work with. We need your background information,the kind of family you grew up in,basically your family dynamics,any history of mental illness or alcohol abuse in your family etc. There must be a reason why you choose to remain in that relationship. Do you feel his anger stems from you provoking him or it's just his nature? Have you had a conversation with your husband,and if so what was the outcome? Does ur husband indulge in alcohol/ substance abuse that ur aware of? What was his childhood like? Do you think he's close to his family? All these things also play a role in the behavior of people. How is ur interpersonal relationship with others? Do you keep yourself busy by working or engage in recreational activities to help cope with your depression. How do you cope when you feel upset with your husband? Do you have any coping skill you utilize when you see him and feel that disgust/distain towards him? Any suicidal or homicidal thoughts and has there been any attempts currently or in the past. If there were any attempts,how did you plan to carry it out? Any health issues or medications taken currently? There are lots of questions to be asked in order to get to the root of the problem.
ReplyDeleteI'm an ardent reader of this blog but will keep looking through to see if u have answers to some of these questions. I will send my contact if ur interested in talking to me. Let me know where you reside while you make ur decision..........@Bia Bia🌛🌛🌛🌛
Anon15.31
ReplyDeleteAre you being serious? This ur reply even makes me more scared for you. Your abusive fiance forgets his abusive actions the next day? That shows he has some kind of mental problem. He is really sick. I wish you well.
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