Husband Finding - Part 2

Where and how does one go about looking for a husband was asked recently and the post was an eye opener....Read the first post here.

Now read the part two and if your eyes are still closed,this might be the miracle you need to finding him........well,thats if you are looking.

''Hello Stella Kork :)

I thank the blog visitor who posted that ‘Husband Finding….’ request about what to do in order to meet a husband and the all other blog readers who also offered constructive advice. I also sincerely thank you for selecting her letter and publishing it as a single post.

I have never believed a woman should find a husband herself but rather, increase her chances of being found. I will be 40 by this time next year, I am single and I have a schedule as tight as hers. No one is ever too old to learn new things. I REALLY learnt a lot from that post and I want to share 5 points.

  

Permit me to share 5 things I learnt from that post for the benefit of any girl/lady/woman who wants a husband. Listen up!

1) You MUST invest in your people skills at whatever age particularly as a woman. If you currently score lower than a 'C' aaverage in your People Skills exams, please retake the exam and try to score 'B', 'A' or 'A+'.

All the people you meet are potential channels who might recommend you to a husband. Treat people well and do not be haughty. If you offend anyone, apologise and mend the relationship wherever possible.

*I was quite haughty growing up and I look back and see that it cost me a lot of valuable friendships.

2) Introduction seems to be the most popular way to meet a spouse. This still stems from point one. A large proportion of blog visitors who replied said they were introduced to their spouses by family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc

It might be hard to 'put your pride down' but remember that people who genuinely love you might even sometimes forget you are single and want a spouse.

Subtly tell them that you are open for any introduction with anyone whom they might know who needs a wife.

Don’t even snap at the ones that chide you "Omo! you never marry?". They might actually have your interest at heart. Just muster up courage and say in a low respectful tone "Abeg, me sef, I no understand o! Aburo mi, abeg if you see person wey dey find wife, recommend me o. I dey ready."

* I used this approach with my male cousin and a couple of close friends recently and they are all on my case now.

3) 'Perception is key'. Loose translation: Dress sense MATTERS whether you like it or not!

Men themselves can’t even explain this overwhelmingly primal satisfaction they get when they see a well-kept woman. It is medieval. If you can, go and read how a woman escaped a death sentence just by dressing right in the biblical book of Esther.

And please ladies, believe me, you do not have to rob the bank to be well dressed. Till tomorrow, I still go to Katangwa and Yaba second hand markets in Lagos to shop for clothes.

And I go to Idumota and Balogun to buy cheap wigs from the wholesale traders that deal in hair and cosmetics. On a quarterly basis, I replace my body wash, lotion, face scrub and hair removal lotion.

Do not concentrate on your face alone. Go the extra mile and invest in the body God gave you. Keep your nails clean, trim your eyebrows, shave pubic hair, deodorise under your arms and your pubic areas (yes you heard me. You sweat in those areas it makes your undies smell so when you open or uncross your legs, e go be like say na Hiroshima atomic bomb drop).

And make sure you have a night routine. Take your make up off and bathe at night then moisturise your hands and feet so that they are nourished overnight when you are not using them to work.

We live in the tropics. It's hot and you sweat above average.

* I am not light skinned but my skin glows. I get asked by women of all complexions what I use on my body. I get hit on by younger men on a regular basis but I politely tell them to bring their elder brothers instead (Dont shoot! Personal preference please ;))

4) Get off the perception that 'a man will come and take care of me'.Yohoo! wake up! Times have changed for women of all ages.

Unlike your grandma and mom's era, you have been equally empowered like your male counterparts to freely learn a skill, get educated and work in this generation.

There is no longer any prejudice against women earning an income so open your arms wide and embrace every opportunity you have to earn an income.

And as you grow, take a step further and become an investor. Buy land (Yes I said it), severe your relationship with your landlord and build a house, build a business, travel the world and even buy property overseas.

It doesn't make you less attractive in anyway but it doesn’t mean you would throw caution to the wind and start footing a man’s bills because you have money.

And while you are at it, you can keep your mouth shut rather than bragging about your accomplishments so that you won’t start appearing like a 'gold mine' to greedy men.

* I am still working on this but I thank God that I invested into a post-graduate certification and singly sponsored myself abroad (by His Grace) when I did No mother, no father, no scholarship, no sugar daddy. Even though it left me broke, I'm glad I did not buy gold and Hollandis with that money. I can now anchor on that certification and apply for better positions. I know in a very short time, I will become an investor when I start earning good income.

5) God still remains the common denominator for woman whom a husband finds. And this applies to you whether you are Christian, Muslim, pagan or you do not even acknowledge there is a God.

In Acts 10 vs 34 & 35 the apostle Peter said that God shows no favoritism and in every nation he accepts those who fear him and do what is right. Matthew5:45 also says that God sends rain to the just and unjust.

This is the reason why even women of questionable character and unattractive looks still have men oogling over them with reckless abandon and marrying them damming the consequences.

It also explains why husbands find wives in places that seem 'logically unexplainable'. A friend of mine was in her father's house after new year when all strangers had left and her hubby came knocking. Another friends mom was a nurse and the father was a patient, when her granfather came visiting his son, he insisted they get married. My girlfriend met her 41 year old Americana hubby online when she was 39. I've heard of a woman who showed her worst attitude (tear werey) when another driver hit her and he ended up being her hubby.

Never rule the God factor out. (Read blog visitor 'Lady IGO's comment in that post here)

BONUS POINT: In rounding up, let me add that I have cultivated this habit of developing friendships with older, decent married women. I engage them in discussions and learn a lot.  I have two older women friends who trade in the market. One sells tomatoes the other sells soup items. They are probably in their 60s. My boss is also in her 50's. I have another one who is close to her eighties. On saturday, I'll be voluntarily going for the mentoring program with Nike Adeyemi of Daystar Ministries.

There is an enormous amount of untapped wisdom you get when you respectfully engage these kinds of women in conversation. You will not get it hanging out with your mates.

You start seeing life differently.

Thank you Stella. Thank you blog visitors for reading and I hope this article helped particularly the single unmarried ladies. May God fulfil all the desires or our hearts. 

I will not end without saying that if I do not marry in this life, I will die happily knowing that I will live in the house of my father in Heaven where the state of marriage will be inconsequential 'cause people will neither be married nor be given out in marriage.