Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Diary Of A Woman Tricked Into Marriage By Darling Husband.

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Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Diary Of A Woman Tricked Into Marriage By Darling Husband.

Wow,this story is an eye opener!

Are there really people out there that are stuck in marriages they were tricked into?

Are there really people out there who trick people into Marriages because of financial gain?









This is how the story of my life went…….20/05/2014

On the 14th of October 2012, I decided to start a house fellowship center close to my house, I had been invited to the house fellowship center by  a sister in the church, I really didn’t want to but then what am I doing at home after Sunday services on Sundays? Nothing, bored, lonely, so I felt for a change let me get myself busy with the word of God and in the company of my fellow brethren, so I started, after the service ended, we were ask to introduce our selves as it is the custom, at the end I reluctantly exchanged my contacts and bb pin, that was the worst mistake of my life which has left me wondering till date………..


2days later, a brother started chatting me up, wanted to know more about me and all that, I really didn’t like this but then what harm will it do? I asked myself. We got chatting, it became  a thing that even when I don’t respond to his chat on time he get upset which I reacted to letting him know that he has no right over me and as such he shouldn’t be  telling me when and how to respond to his chat, am sure that prompted him to start showing love advances so I would be committed to him, he would want to know where I am, what am doing at that moment and why am doing what am doing, it scared me but again what harm will he do I told myself. It all came rushing......



December was here and he insisted he wanted to see my parent to further prove how serious he was about me, believe me that was scary, why the rush I asked but no sincere response, he gave me the impression that he needed to journey far and would want to be married before embarking on that journey, which to everyone I told was a good and reasonable reason for me to work with him, even my father adviced me to work with him on that, I asked my father what he thinks about the rush to marry me, he said I should relax basing his response on the fact that he wanted to journey far….


That was how and when it all began, that December we did a little introduction to get acquitted with the families, he took me to his home town, met his mom and sisters, he took me to Benin to meet his immediate elder brother, whom he introduced as his best friend and brother, to the best of my knowledge the rest of the family are based abroad and do come in once in a while, so as at the time we visited they were not in the country, so he said, attempts to reach them after then always ends in …..Can’t even recall how it always ends. 


Anyways as at the time I met him he was running a program in LUTH as a medical doctor, which I confirmed and paid him a visit at the hospital then, oh what a promising future I had envisioned…..it wasn’t rosy when it all began but I had imagined a beautiful future for us and so I was willing to bear it all for the now. 
Then came the issue of his accommodation, he was putting up with his friend who is married with children as at the time, he told me a lady was molesting him, she would come into his room uninvited to throw herself at him and for this reason he needed to leave the house but didn’t have the cash to afford another apartment, he kept singing about it for a long time, I advised he gets help from his family seeing he was the last born of about 6 children, they will be in a better position to assist, then he came up with this story of growing up by himself, had struggled through school, did all sorts of minor jobs to see himself through medical school to get to where he was and that even if he goes to inform them, that no one will come to his rescue, he actually came up with a trick to get money from his brother and pleaded with me to play along which I reluctantly did but ended up in nothing, even the elder brother at that period pleaded with me to help him solve whatever problem he was going through didn’t even bother to assist, I offered to let him stay at my place pending when he get the cash to get a new place of his own.



 he stayed for almost two weeks, I wasn’t seeing any sign of wanting to get his place, I confronted him to try and get his own place that am not comfortable with him staying with me, then he pleaded that I help him take a loan from my place of work that he will pay back as soon as he get paid by the federal government, according to him the federal government have not paid them(medical doctors), taking a loan wasn’t a good suggestion in my ears, in fact it didn’t go well with me at all, but seeing that if I send him out of my house, he has nowhere else to go, I decided to take the loan after all when he get a job which I was so sure of, he will pay it off, eventually we got the loan and he rented a small place to manage. 
It was suddenly time for introduction, in my words we are not up to 3 months in the courtship and you want introduction? You don’t even have the fund to pull that through, somehow the introduction came  and went on the 30th of march, 2013 with my cash seeing us through……lets go back a bit, back to February, 2013, he had been planning with my friend to propose to me on valentine’s day, my friend who had good intentions for me, played along without telling me helped him purchase the ring which he bought on credit, promising to pay back in two weeks, February 14th he proposed and voila I was engaged, of course I was happy, its every lady dream to be engaged to a promising, young and intelligent man. 



Three months went by and my friend couldn’t hold it any longer cause the  person whom the ring was purchased from had been on her neck, she even had to pay the person with her money and now needed her money back, when she told me, I was down in tears like seriously??? I should pay for my engagement ring? Wow!!! 


That was heart breaking, well what will I do, the only way I could be able to put on that ring with smiles on my face was to pay for it, which I did as soon as the salary came in, when I asked him, he was furious, shouting, why would she tell me about that, of course he knew my friend will tell me by the time he refuses to pay, I knew he had no plans to pay because he had no money anywhere, his hope was built on the money the federal government was yet to pay them at least that was the impression he gave me.


We had started counselling in church in preparation for our wedding, no plans was in place, I kept cool, still hoping the government will pay before the wedding date was fixed, I kept praying and hoping…at a point he wanted the wedding to come and go quickly, I ask why he wanted it sooner than what we planned, he came up with his scholarship, that it will soon expire, that he doesn’t want to miss it and would want to go as a married man if possible go with me, I decided to inform my pastor about this development, my pastor said   that she couldnt rush the counselling for anything, he then decided to go see her himself, and pleaded with her and other ministers to help talk to our pastor to hasten up the counselling, after much pressure my pastor agreed with love and joy for me that I would be travelling with my husband after marriage so she didn’t want to be the reason I didn’t go with him or the reason he didn’t marry me.

 it began again, there was no money, nothing had been done or put in place, ooohhh how I hate the word “IT IS WELL” this is what I was hearing on a daily bases, from friends, pastor, ministers and even this man I was about to marry, IT IS WELL, became my food, but I would respond, “HEAVEN HELP THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES” because of this statement of mine, I was tagged an unbeliever, a faithless Christian, one thing I know is that God will not come from heaven to help you, you have to do something, show that you are deserving of HIS favor, grace, mercy and help.


 It all came crashing down when my wedding gown was yet to be purchased a week to my wedding and people were still telling me all will be well, or “ALL IS WELL” suddenly God used my colleagues to rescue me from that shame, they contributed 10thousand naira each to support my wedding, that was how I bought my wedding gown, he didn’t even say let me have their numbers to call them, just to show appreciation but when issues started coming up he was able to steal one of my colleagues number from my phone just so that he can narrate to her every issues in order to get favor from them. And when a colleague offered to help me to the office since we stay almost in the same area and he owns a ride so as to help me save some cash,he got upset and stole his number from my phone  so he could warn him to stay off his wife.

 What a man I had married, the lady who designed the bridal girl’s cloths he was yet to pay the poor woman, that one had called, insulted, pleaded, prayed for her money, I insisted I wasn’t going to pay that money, because I had paid for my girls,he brought his relative boasting that he would pay but he didn’t, he made a shirt for himself instead of buying and I was tired of paying the debt he owned even before I knew him. Let’s forget that part 


The wedding date came, which ought to be in December, but he didn’t like that idea, so we settled for September 12th and 14th 2013. We had initially agreed that I would handle the traditional marriage while him and his family would take care of the white wedding, since he didn’t have a job at the time, God bless my father for me, he stood strong for me, made sure my wedding was the talk of the town, did his best.

The list of items he was to bring on the day of the traditional marriage my father provided them to avoid shame, thinking he will show appreciation later on but no way!, the items that he ought to buy for his bride, he didn’t, my father waved that part and so it came and went. 


A day before the white wedding, through the help of his friend we were able to secure a venue, no chairs, no table, no decoration nothing, now I have to start running around for all that, no jewelries for me yet, for Christ sake this was not my dream wedding I kept saying to myself but consoled myself with the future ahead. With God still on my side and with the help of my pastor’s wife in Benin city, I was able to make plans to decorate the hall, provide chairs and table, promising to pay as soon as I get back to Lagos, she agreed and did all that she could on short notice, God be praised…..


Back to Lagos and people that he owned started calling me to pay them, he has not even paid the caterer till date, I made it clear, that part is not my business, I got calls but I still wonder how they got my contact. He said he didn’t know how, these are people I have never come in contact with in my life, suddenly they know my name and have my contact, that was strange, but how can I pay for what I know nothing about? 


God help me, I prayed. A month gone into marriage and i was already fed up, he wouldn’t want to go get a job, he said he was searching yet I leave the house and still meet him in the house, he said he goes out whenever I stepped out but I ask people around and they will tell me otherwise, so it went on, till 3months into the marriage and am like seriously, are we going to remain this way? you won’t get a job so that we can feed? 


We surely can’t rely on my pay which because of the loan I took for him has reduced drastically to nonsense, he promised he would get a job and pay off the loan and also move to a better apartment because we were living in the same apartment I helped him with when he was down searching for a place to put up, I got the apartment and furnished it to the best of my ability, hoping he would  tosh it up as time went on but never, I continued from where I stopped after marriage, brought my things over to his house so we could start managing, he even quarrelled with me on the few things I left for my sister, such as wall mirror, cooking pot, cottons then I asked “you mean you can’t buy these things for yourself”? 

hmmmmmm, na wa ooo. Here I am in my husband’s house and my single days were better, I still told myself it’s a phase it will pass, for where/ pass ko come ni……I was told it was my cross that I should carry it. All this while I never saw his credentials, nothing to prove he actually went to school less for some medical equipment he carried around in his car, did I mention he was good at what he does? Oh he was good, treatment and all that, he was nice at home, doing the house chores with me on Saturdays, helping in the kitchen before I come back from work, at a point I told him to stop cooking for me, when am not ill.


 Let’s go back a little beat, for November 2013, after marriage, where he cooked up  NYSC stories for me, that he was going to serve, I was glad at least he will be busy, but he was afraid of leaving me behind, daily I encouraged him to go ahead, he was reluctant to go, saying there was no transport and that he didn’t want to leave me behind, haba! Eventually he went, I still had to provide that money he needed, he left 2days after camp had opened, a week later he said they didn’t let him in to the camp, because he was late, not just him and so many others, whenever he called I would be listening for background voices nothing, if truly they didn’t let you and so many others in, there would be noise at the background, first his camp was to be in Lagos, later osun state then finally ogun state, I was angry with him this time because he didn’t even inform me of any NYSC plan, which I would have been of assistance, my father would have helped post him anywhere he wanted, why didn’t he inform me of this development, his response was that he wanted to surprise me.

 I didn’t like that idea because the last engagement surprise I paid for it.


 back to NYSC, okay now where are you putting up there since they didn’t let you in? he said at a friend’s house close to the camp, judging by the camp he said he was posted, there was no house anywhere close by, you travel a long distance before you even get to the camp, the camp was built at the outskate of the town, EDE CAMP. The story sha continue and I was playing along, when he returned I requested for the call up letter, another story came up, I insisted on seeing the call up letter, first there was no call up letter, later it was in the car, later at a friend’s place who helped in organizing the camp runs, later the NYSC was fake according to him that he wanted to see if he can short cut it to enable him travel this year 2014 for his scholarship, again he got me.


 I kept calm and even forgot about it but started advising him to walk towards march batch that I will personally help him with that, I called my ever willing to help father and he was ready as usual but requested for his academic details, oh boy! This time my oga said he wasn’t interested again that he doesn’t want to serve again, that it won’t affect his scholarship in any way, I was like,, is that possible? I remember when I was servicing people who studied abroad where sent back to come and serve their nation before returning to work over there, how is it going to be possible that it won’t affect you, you will be sent back, that’s for sure, all these and more I said, he insisted he wasn’t interested again and nothing will change his mind…. Na sooooooo!!! Me too I rest my case but was worried, didn’t stop asking to see his credentials, at least something to proof he actually went to school and studied, because his attitude at time made me referred to him as a taut.

You need to see him when he talking in anger, the rotten words, it hurt me for a while, I then developed a thick skin and started insulting him as well, when he insult my family, I do the same. I became strong and forcing. I became a threat to him; I notice he was scared around me and I used that to my advantage to get information from him, it didn’t work, whenever he goes for rehearsal I go searching his tins to see if I will see anything to calm myself of the fear of the unknown. This fear of the unknown generated a lot of dispute between us, I was always upset about everything, nothing he does pleases me, he now developed the habit of calling my father to calm me down, it now seemed as if am a bad person, but I knew I needed some reassurance that I have not made a mistake in marriage.

 I called a friend to help me investigate, she didn’t understand and I didn’t want to reveal my worries to any one not even my father, I needed to be sure , I also needed that fear to be false, her response was more painful than the fears I was having, how can a friend say that to me, I wept daily praying that these worries and fears would be a false alarm because I don’t know what I will do. I knew I had to tell someone.

one day, one of those arguments, it was like he was going to break my head and i wasn’t letting him have his way then my pastor’s wife pinged me, just checking on me and my marriage, then it occurred to me why not just tell her after all, she counselled us, she has been following us, so I informed her of my fears. She told me to be careful, that she will help but I needed to come tell our pastor himself about these fears and how I came about it, I agreed I went the next day telling my husband that I was going somewhere so that he wouldn’t suspect my move, I told my pastor and investigation started, this is someone the entire church of more than a thousand members consult with, he has given a talk on medical issues, he operates and take care of sick people in my church and the neighborhood.


I searched everywhere searchable, didn’t find any evidence that he went to school, dear Lord, it wasn’t funny anymore this time I was really scared to death, how on earth is this possible, kk lets not conclude yet, I had to ask him, let him kill this fear that was eating me up fast, my pastor warned me against it, so I held on for a while, but couldn’t for too long I asked him and as expected, he swore on his father’s grave, he even made me feel bad for accusing him wrongly, how could I say he didn’t go to school, how then did he become a doctor, how did he get to where he is / how come he is operating, all these questions and more he was pouring at me, at a point I felt bad and apologized and pleaded that he at least let me see his credentials.


I expected that he would out of anger bring out all this papers, statement of result, to shame me, for where??? Oyo!!!!  a month went by and still no truth about his academics, he had called my father as usual saying I was insulting him and questioning his qualifications, my father would call and make it look like am not respecting him, I would break down and cry, no one understood my pain and I didn’t want to open up, let it not be that am actually accusing him wrongly, one day,  he had just finished arguing as usual,  he had called my father again, this father of mine was tired of the report and started insulting me that am like my mother, it was so painful that I couldn’t even talk because normally I can’t cry and talk at the same time, so I burst out my fears, my pain, my worries, letting him know that this man you are insulting me for is not what he says he is, he is not worth it, my father didn’t believe me, he decided to call him, at first he denied saying am just cooking up lies on him.


 I agreed I was cooking up lies, so I told him I was going to involve the police, if he is really a doctor by their findings , they will release him if he is not whatever happens is his business, he ran away I didn’t see him till night, he now promised to tell me the next day, what is wrong telling me now?  I insisted, so he suggested we drove out, to where ? money rituals !!!, I was dead scared again, but later went with him , if I die let me die, God will judge him, we drove and got to a place and he parked and started talking, putting the blame on his family and all that, oh my God, you did not graduate? But you threat people…….continue tomorrow


21/05/2014
 I am back. My hands are aching already for typing wahala but I still have a lot to talk about, so where was i? eeeehhh… so he wasn’t a doctor, dropped out school and due shame didn’t start afresh instead played along in school, till his supposed class mate graduated, he also graduated with them, came to Lagos started acting the role of a medical doctor, with the help his friend who introduced him to a practicing medical doctor he was able learn how to operate, how to prescribe for people and so many thing as far as medicine is concerned, he was really good at what he was doing and I admired him.

 Back to the marriage, so what is going to happen to me? What becomes of this marriage? 

So you mean you married me giving false information about yourself? 


Aaaaaarrrhhhh, who will I tell my story? What do I do now? So many questions running through my head, should I walk out of this marriage or stay beside him and manage things with him, hoping it would get better? My whole world was something else, people are thinking I have hit jackpot, I married you hoping things will get better only to told that things will not get better until like 5 to 7 yrs from now? How wicked can man be?, you kept all this to yourself and made me take a loan to help you with apartment with the intention that you will pay back, now you are telling me you will never be able to pay back, I will pay that loan for the next 4yrs? 

Crying became my daily meal, I would cry all night and day, after much counselling and advice from friends, family and church I decided to stay back and see what life held for us, if this God’s plan for me let me see how it ends, but if not I was bent on making my life a better one , so I encouraged him to go back to school and find something for the mean time, no matter how little the pay is at least to get himself busy and also be able to make ends meet, so I can still address him as a man, with the help some ministers in our church, whom God will continue to bless, who also blessed us with some cash every now and then, life was picked up, they also helped with a job, a driving job somewhere, which was okay for me, I was able to smile again, when people render praises to him for making me look good I just laughed and said thank God.


Then came the issue of beating, it happened the first time, he tore my clothe, smashed my laptop, it was like a thunder landed on my head, it was at night so I couldnt run out, almost immediately he started pleading, that he didn’t know what came over him, he pleaded, he knelt down, he wept. I let that slide didn’t tell anyone, how could I even tell someone that my husband beat me?

 he quickly repaired my laptop, bought me new clothe for the one he tour, he started buying all this cheap cloths, I appreciated them, though they were cheap I liked them, the act was appreciated but the fact that I was married to school dropout, wife beater was eating me up, I get upset at everything he says and does, especially when he his doing them wrongly.

 so nagging started, we would nag and insult ourselves like we were forced into the marriage, in order to make me happy before he got the job he would wash my clothe, cook the food before I return from work, clean everywhere in the house, he really was doing a good job, but that didn’t make feel any better, during those times we argued, he would call me names, insult rubbish out of me, I would cry at every insult, telling myself I had married wrongly, after some time, I had become used to his abuses, I started giving him the same way he was giving me, I would insult him back, tell him how useless he was being a school dropout and parading himself as a doctor, he told me how I was useless as a wife, telling me how wives help their husbands in times of difficulties, that he thought I would be able to help him financially, if only he knew he would married the girls that were parading themselves around him and how rich they were and so many rubbish then I thought to myself so this guy married because he thought I was rich or that I would be able to call my entire family to his rescue when things go wrong with him? 

Wow!

What an eye opener.


 I told him how he was less a man as well, telling him how men are taking good care of their wives but am the one taking good care of myself and people giving praises to him, when I buy a shirt and I don’t buy for him, he get angry calling me a selfish wife, is it my job to buy clothes for my husband? I can buy on my own but not he making it looks like it was my job to take care of him. During another dispute that we would insults ourselves, he opened his mouth to call me barren, that I have a decayed womb, that he is not barren because he has a child, that insult I couldn’t bear, I was taking my bath when  that happened, I took a bucket of water and poured it on him, after I had cried eyes out in the bathroom and he stopped insulting me and sat down in the seating room, I didn’t know what else to do to him, I can’t beat him, I bath him up, took some cloths and left the house, I was about 30minutes out of the house, when I saw someone running towards me on the express, I was walking to my uncle’s house which wasn’t too far from me, he started dragging my bag with me, telling me I wasn’t going anywhere, you had to wait till I went this far to stop me? He was jumping up and down, parading himself on the road like a street boy, I was amazed at what I was seeing, seriously? You are this uncultured? Dragging my bag that night, calling my father again that I had packed out of the house that he doesn’t know where I was going to, not telling him what he has done to warrant me leaving the house, he eventually secceded in going with my bag which had my phone, money, keys and the money I had been able to put together for our new apartment, which was 400hundred thousand. I went ahead to where I was heading, slept there for the night, the next day I returned to meet missed calls of my father, mother, friends, pastor, and some ministers that he had told that I left the house but not telling them why I left, I picked up my bag only to find the money I kept gone, his things gone, I had not stayed up to 10minutes he came and started pleading, on his knells again, it will never happen again, he is sorry, then my parent in Christ called and I picked, they were not happy that I didn’t pick their calls, I had to start explaining how he had ran home with my phones,i explained to them why I left, they apologized and pleaded on his behalf, my father called and I explain my reasons for leaving, he got angry at the fact that he called me “BARREN”, my father in confidence told me to prepare myself to leave that marriage, that he is not making any effort to be a better person, jamb he said he has taken, he didn’t write, then he said he is writing the computer type of jamb, my father said he is yet to reach the elder brother and no one has called to apologize for deceiving the entire family, it seems they abandoned him for us, we are now to care for him when it should be the other way round, after much talk, I stayed back again, he started washing my cloths again, cooking my food, polishing my shoes before I wake up, even washing my undies, I laugh at all this act because I knew they were all pretence, after a while it stopped, I didn’t care. The rent was due, we needed to move the cash wasn’t complete again, because he took from the cash I had saved, he returned 350 thousand, giving excuses on how he spent the 50thousand he took, getting an apartment for 350 wasn’t possible, so we had to beg the landlord to give us some time to gather up and leave, as God would have it, we got an apartment for 300 but in a very bad and flooded area, what can we do we had to manage after all people are staying there so I agreed to manage, things were going smoothly, I started buying things on credit to make my kitchen beautiful which am still paying now, apart from the loan I had already taken, my colleague in the office blessed us with her furniture because her husband was making another for them, my seating room was now giving me the shape I wanted, I was happy, I bought home theater on credit which I just finished paying, the electronics I used for my NYSC was of a good use, though the television was faulty, he had promised to buy a new one because I initially wanted to give this to my sister, the deep freeze in my kitchen was a wedding gift from my place of work, things were taking shape, we didn’t quarrel, little misunderstanding were settled with laughter until when my salary was delayed, I noticed his attitude changing, probably he didn’t believe me when I say “I have not been paid” I wasn’t the only one, it was a general thing. On this faithful Sunday being the 4th day of the month of May 2014, a night before my cousin who just came into the country paid me a visit, so I made soup and stew. We woke up late the next morning which was Sunday and so couldn’t meet a friend that normally help us to church every Sunday because our new apartment was really far from our new place of worship which we had just been sent to begin a new parish, I also already had plans to go for a colleague wedding thanksgiving but the plan was to get to church and leave later, that plan had just changed, I don’t have enough cash to take the two of us to church and also go to where I was heading, so I ask only him to go church service while I just go for the thanksgiving later, he agreed and got ready, only for him to start asking me for transport, you knew I didn’t have enough, he got angry saying I shouldn’t have allowed him get ready for church since I didn’t have the intention of helping him with transport, I went back to my sleep, then suddenly I recalled my cousin had given me 500naira a day before on his way out, so I ask him if the 500 will be enough for him, it was then he said he wasn’t going anymore, I thought he was joking , I kept quiet, woke up later and saw him seating down, I ask again wont the 500 naira be enough for you? He repeated “am not going again” I tried talking him into changing his mind because it was the first Sunday of the month, it wouldn’t be nice for the two of to be absent from church, I even pleaded with him to go to church at least to attend the thanksgiving of a church member who was dedicating his child that same day, my effort was fruitless, I decided to get set for my journey, had my breakfast and got dressed, before I finished getting dressed he was having his breakfast as well, I joined him, ate a little and left, was able to find my way to the church, couldn’t reach my colleagues cause they were already seated in the church, just when I was about entering the church he called to confirm if I had gotten to the church, I told that i just got to the church, he nagged about me not informing him that I was in church, my brother I am just in front of the church, haven’t even stepped in, still looking to be sure I was in the right place, that part ended,. After the church services we went home with the celebrant, just in time again he called and I informed him of our destination, while in the celebrant house, he called, I informed him again where i was, by the time the time the part ended, I decided to pay a visit to my colleague who had given us her furniture, since we have not officially shown appreciation, I called him to let him know of my intensions, he agreed and sent his regards, while in her house, he called I informed him I had gotten there and would spend some time there, she decided to make us feel at home by cooking for us to eat as I wasn’t the only one who followed her home, so I joined her in the kitchen while the husband was watching football, obviously when I was in the kitchen he had called I missed that call so he called my colleague who eventually gave me her phone to receive the call, I explain that my phone wasn’t with me, he nagged again. I kept quiet but was already upset at his frequent call, he called my colleague again reporting that am eating where I am that I didn’t make food for him before leaving, I was shocked that he would stoop so low, but even if that was the case, we have soup and stew, what stop you from just making something for yourself? I asked myself. So I got up to start going back, my colleague saw me off to the road, I was close home, I heard my phone ringing, I picked it up only to hear insults and abuses as usual, shouting on top of his voice, why didn’t you pick my calls, I also screamed on top of my voice like what is it!!! Are you the first to get married? Haba! I hanged up, letting him know I was close by, getting home, he was already shaking, like he just finished fighting with a lion, I walked pass him, he called me back, screaming why I didn’t pick his calls if I wanted to sleep where I went? He was angry I was angry, I responded so what if I sleep there, calling me all day, am I the only married person there? Kept calling and even went as far as calling my colleague, what is it? I asked, then he stood up like he wanted to beat me up, immediately I screamed “DON’T EVEN THINK OF IT” before I could finish that statement, slap landed on my face and head, I screamed Jesus, you heat me? he said he would do more if I don’t………………..what he said I still can’t recall, the next thing was a serious push which landed me on the floor, that was when my head collided with the television that was on the floor and one of the speakers of the home theatre fell on me, I almost picked it up to heat him but it was just me and him, I have been advice not to engaged in a fight with a man if you love yourself, I stood up, trying to pick my things on the floor at same time threaten to deal with him by the law, then I saw his phone on the floor, I picked it up and stoned it to the wall, he picked it up and pushed me the second time, I fell so hard that I felt a shock through my bones, i stood up to grab him, to enable him beat me since he had planned the beating even before I returned, while I held onto him it was then I had the beating of my life, this time I was ranting trying to pick my things on the floor again, he suddenly remembered I had a phone, he pick my phone on the floor and smashed it on the wall, the phone scattered, the inner screen went dead immediately , my nokia was able to come back to life,  he told me he will deal with me, after then I should go and do my worse, and the worse I can do is to pack my things and live, I didn’t waste time when I heard that, I went in and started parking my things, he even stood making sure I didn’t take what wasn’t mine according to him forgetting that everything in that house is mine, he had just a bag to go with, I can’t even park my things at once, I picked the few things I could urgently need in a Ghana must go bag and stepped out  not having anywhere in mind to actually go, I just stepped out, couldn’t find my keys, so I took keys on the door, knowing very well he would see mine and make do with that, he watched me leave, he didn’t call my father this time, I was out of the compound when he came running saying I should give him his keys that I took his keys, he held on the bag I was carrying and started dragging with me, that his keys were in my bag, he drag until he tour the bag with my cloths on the floor in public, I held him again this time I was ready for anything he had to dish out, he started shouting saying he was going to beat me naked me if I don’t leave him alone, speaking his language (Yoruba) jumping here and there like a street boy, oh my God, the last time he tour my cloths, we were indoor, nobody saw mi nakedness, this time we are outside I couldn’t afford that, so I left him not after biting him so hard that I could pull out his flesh, he seceded in going with the part of the bag that contains my hand bag, neighbors’ came to my rescue, pleading with him to leave me and young guys out there condemning the act of beating a woman in the first place, at this junction I couldn’t hold my tears anymore, ah what a mistake I have made in marriage, I know no man is perfect but a wife beater I cannot manage, no matter the pleading and whoever pleads on his behalf this time, my neighbors’ took me to their house, packed my cloths with her bag, watching someone park my things on the floor was heart breaking, a man I decided to stay with against all odds, even when I was told that I can walk away if I so wish to, marriage based on false identity is null. A man I had decided to suffer with even when it wasn’t part of the plan before he married me, a man I borrowed money to cover his shame? I couldn’t hold back, I spoke out in tears, telling whoever cared to listen who he really was, telling my neighbor how I had married wrongly and how it all began, how I borrowed money, even the new house we were staying was burrowed again with my name, he promised he was going sell his car to pay this time, till the day I left the car is parked with no sign to sell that car, again he is stylishly leaving that debt for me to pay, making it more than a million for me to pay, God forbid.
Somehow, I came back to the house that same day, thanks to the women who held me bound making sure I didn’t leave my husband’s house, only to find out he had searched my bag and taken the 5000naira that was meant to pay the debt I own a woman in my former parish, I had promised to give her that evening when I come for holy communion, so I kept it far away inside my purse which was in my bag, he had taken the money and left the house just the same way he did the last time. 




I decided to tell my father, the first time I will be reporting anything about my marriage to my father, he normally report himself, my bb and Nokia didn’t come up again, luckily I came home with my official phone, I quickly inserted my MTN line into my official phone, thank God I still remember my father’s number, I called him and told al that happened and that I can’t do this anymore. Trust my father, he was calling the man that just beat me up to confirm if what I told him was true, his phones were off, my father quickly sent a relative to me to help take me somewhere else but I decided to stay after all its my house and moreover he has ran away, he probably won’t be coming back, so I stayed back, surprisingly he came back, he had nowhere to go, before he came back I had moved his things to his car, which was just a bag, that is all he had in that house, when he returned, he was ranting that I had no right to pack his things out, I requested for my 5000naira, he ignored, he then went out again, to ask a church member close by to come help him beg or they just decided to follow him I don’t know, they were pleading he was ranting, denying he ever touched me, saying he only pushed me out of the way, which way? Haaaaa, this was worse than the beating, with all my swollen body? You say you didn’t touch me? I gave myself the bruises? I parked my things out by myself and started beating myself and shouting outside? I pushed myself to the floor three times and almost destroyed my electronics by myself, he told people to ask me for proof of beating, because I didn’t sustain injuries so am lying. 
I parked my things out of the house the next day which was Monday 5th, since then I have been staying with a friend and a church member, my parent are looking for money for me to get another apartment so I can start my life all over again. I just wished they had supported me when I called off the wedding two weeks to, when he told me that there was a probability that he has a child, a probability, that he has not seen the lady nor the child only for an outsider to be telling me now that he even know the girl in question, which he introduced to them some time ago, they actually thought he would marry the girl but was shocked when he told them about me. 
Now everybody is calling me to beg not to leave him, when I called them to inform them of the lies about his identity, no body called me to say anything. Am tired of typing jare! I can’t stay married to a man I know I wouldn’t have ordinarily married 
If this is what marriage is about, am out and done.
22/052014….
Now he paint me bad and evil, he says to people that I was maltreating him, just because he wasn’t a graduate, a man I overlooked his academic setbacks, he says I never treated him like a man, that I was rude and disrespectful, no wahala, I hear but all I want now is to be on my own, start my life all over again and see what God has for me…
End of my story for now…life continues.



NOW TO MY DISCOVERIES...
27th May, 2014
I left my deceitful life called marriage on the 5th of May, 2014 and a lot of things i have heard that I should have heard before marrying this man, suddenly people are starting to open up on things I needed to know before marriage but I wonder why no one bothered to tell me , they had to wait till I became a victim before telling me, they had to wait till my world crashed before telling me what I should have known before now, any way I still thank God it came at all so if I ever decide to return to that life then it’s all my business.
I have just been informed on Saturday the 26th of May that I married into a wrong family, a family who are used to blackmailing and finding their way into anything they fixed their eyes on. Was told that the man I married had presented me to his family to be a girl from a rich background, that I had returned from London for my wedding with him last year, funny ryt ? Me a londonian? Amen oooo, I pray that as he has said it so shall it be in Jesus name, Amen! 



Some say God has a reason for letting me into this family and I want to believe it but on the other hand the same God is not an author of confusion I was told, so where is this kind of destiny from, God or devil? Lord please help me cause my emotions are really weighing me down, its just me, no one cares to ask how am doing, at times I wish everything could return to normal, like he had not beaten me on that day, I was beginning to forget he ever lied, I had accepted that he was my destiny until he turned into a monster that I couldn’t recognize and how he is still denying but he will accept everything just so that I return to him imagine what my life would be after that? Lord Jesus, I pray please help me out of this mess I kept myself, please just this last time. I beg u. gat to go it’s almost midnight, work tomorrow.  


01/06/2014
First day of the month of June, I went to church today with all my heart fully ready to move on with life.


09/06/2014
My emotions are failing, I see myself crying while on the road, I see myself missing marriage, oh how I wish I had married well, they say God had a reason for putting us together but I think I found myself where I am today because God wanted me to learn the hard way since I had decided to do things my way, if I had listened to my instinct or prayed more, maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today, so this is my reward for being careless, my reward for being ignorant. Now strange questions arouse within me, like” will I ever find love?, will I ever find a man to really love me the way I want?, will I ever be able to love again?, will I ever get married?, will I ever be happy again?, will I ever find a resting place as in family wise?, wont I regret this step am taking now?, wont I be sorry for walking away later in life? My heart bleeds as these questions daily haunt me and my emotions, the fear of the unknown, fear of the future, fear of what might or might not be in future, am so scared right now that I feel I should go back to him but I know I will not be happy with him, I know am going to be frustrated living with him as a wife knowing very well that he didn’t get me rightly, he didn’t marry me sincerely, he didn’t deserve me at all, the way and manner he married me will always be an issue in my life as long as I stay back with him, then the issue of age, d age factor is going to be a big issue in our lives, looking back to what he has done and said, I may never be able to stop seeing him as a young boy that got me fooled, even though I knew the age difference before I married him, I thought it wouldn’t be an issue. 
I have seen things within 9months of my life, than what others have seen in 9years of their marriage. God I still thank you''. 




The chronicles of blog visitor narratives is not coming today but will continue tomorrow.....send in your narratives if you have a story that you need advice on or one that will serve as a lesson!






341 comments:

  1. Jesus...... Am speechless... The signs was there but you overlooked it.. You married yourself but am happy you've moved on... Please, don't ever look back....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am so tongue tied.Marriage!?

      Delete
    2. That's how one jobless pastor is telling me about marriage without a job with plans for us to start church on whose money. Right now as I run from him the back of my leg is touching the back of my head.Lord help us

      Delete
    3. Damn! Your story makes me feel sick. How can one person be so clueless? Jezzzz. U practically walked yourself with your eyes widely open into such a mess.

      Gosssssh! Silly

      Delete
    4. Well, going back to finish the epistle

      Delete
    5. chai!!!! yea she overlooked d signs, a huge error on her part but i guess we all makw mistakes. and yes poster, carry urself well, love will find u again. just dont be desperate so dis doesnt happen all over again. so sorry abt wat u went thru

      Delete
    6. The poster is very silly. The signs were clear but as usual desperation is key.

      I hope your fellow desperadoes will learn but for where they wont

      Delete
    7. What a story! Poster,all these happened because you allowed it. Somebody you were nt really into was rushing you into marriage nd u could not say NO? Till he displayed all his attribute.
      Thank God you came out alive. Move on already!

      Delete
    8. I also blamed the church for not doing their part. Pastors supposed to pray for the members, why is it that stories of divorce, seperation, bad marriages are increasing in church???

      Delete
    9. Marriage desperation

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    10. My God!
      My mouth is wide open. This is terrible.
      I don't even know the right word to say to you.
      Just know that you are loved. And God has great things in store for you. He will put a smile on your face.

      Delete
    11. May God help us women... all the signs and you still went ahead. Something's can't be changed , Let's just Hope for a brighter future..

      Delete
    12. Hmmm what a long story .... But I suspect this is a disguise means to show case your writing skills.
      I mean how can you do this to yourself ?? Singles please always ask questions when dating . Marriage isn't a life filled with fairy tales and knight in shinning armour thingy!
      Can't imagine the emotional torture you had to go through ( if this is a real story ** magnifying lens on fleek** ��)
      I wish you joy still ..... ♣️Peace Ambassador ♣️

      Delete
    13. @ Sapphire. Dumbskull! Ur likes is wat will fall into this trap. Instead of you to take note of the salient issues and learn.

      Delete
    14. What is the meaning of this novel? You saw all the signs and still went ahead. Happy married life

      Delete
  2. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


    ********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*********

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I already have headache just reading this. Wickedness is real in this life and everyone needs to be careful and pray hard not to fall victim.
      To the poster, the greatest gift you'll give yourself now is to forget what the future holds, leave that in the hands of God and walkaway from that marriage.


      Your comment will be visible after aproval

      Delete
  3. Wow

    .speechless


    I am a lazy reader.... But I took time to read this article into to...


    What a sad thing


    At last it will surely end in praise





    @Galore

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh chineke....

    I don read I don tire

    To be continued

    I wouldn't say anything sha, because nobody is above mistake!

    But na wa o, most ladies see the signs o,but still go ahead

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ok!
    Seen! But not read cos am busy with work!
    May God be with her

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kai!
    What a long narrative.i am tempted to summarize it as naive,and desperate woman married fraudulent ,thieving wife beater.
    But ot of respect to what the poster went through and made her put it in words so we may understand I will say that she should take heart.
    I really feel sorry for poster.If only you had been more careful because all the signs were there.
    How can you pay for your own ring and still go ahead with the marriage?
    Too much went on before the marriage that should have alerted you.
    Was it love or lust that blinded you?
    Anyway take heart.
    Turn to God.He will comfort you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Very long but I read it, my dear, I thank God u r aliuve today, u could easily have been killed like a cockroach, u absolutely brought it upon urself, do u know how many engagements people have cancelled close to their weddings, simply because they saw the signs? Ur desperation brought u ds far, just thank ur God, honestly! A lesson to us all, NOBODY not even family has a right to insist u marry someone u don't want to marry, it's strictly ur life and as u can see, they won't be there to suffer with u. Ladies! never ignore d signs. I've been there before. Anyways, u obviously have a high tolerance level, nollywood has got nothing on u

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly, I actually read all, u were desperate to marry, d guy showed u all d signs but u chose to ignore in other to answer Mrs somebody, u paid for almost everything in ur wedding, I dnt pity u cos u covered ur eyes to d truth n now u re crying foul. Thank God u came out alive n b wise next tym. This is a lesson to all d desperate ladies out there, shine ur eyes n always read d handwriting on d wall

      Delete
    2. Desperation is the word

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Meeeehhhhnnnn....This story long die...I tried my best sha

    ReplyDelete
  10. Na wa stella,u and the poster no try for us...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Touching story
    Bur I kept saying to myself this lady saw the handwriting on the wall but the urge to be a Mrs didn't let her open her eyes.
    Not many come out alive to tell their stories, I bless God for you. Don't even think of going back to him! Move on with your life.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Holy shit! Wtf is this?? Longer than ababio chemistry textbook! You have enough sense to write this long ass nonsense but you don't have enough sense to decipher say dude is up to no good?? Na wa oo.. Good example of being penny wise but pound foolish... Seems you are desperate to settle that's y you got urself in this kind of situation.. Look before leaping next time... Anybody that finished reading this needs a new job or second job... Too long man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmfao...Osei Yaw Ababio!!! I need a second job. Loool

      Delete
    2. you are a very useless, good for nothing fool, fuck outta here

      Delete
    3. lol. Some of my over sabi class mates then would be saying they had finished ababio 4 times. that was in ss2 o.

      Delete
    4. @ Stud. Wat a mistake of a man. U must be useless and jobless to even read half of it. Cant deal!

      Delete
  13. I will read this on my break time,too long tho!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
    .
    Babe i no dey pity for yu one bit bcos na yu do urself..... Like dey say, the foundation of a house determines hw well the house will have a taste of tym... Sorry.....
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    ReplyDelete
  15. Shocked!!! I dunno wat to say. I thot I was reading a movie script as I pictured everything in my head. U saw d signs but ignored and everyother person pressured u into it. I knew it wouldn't take long b4 he starts beating u. Ha! Men and brethen (in my mum's voice), dis life is something else. Plz try and move on. I am still a student with nothing to offer, but if u nid company and a friend, I can help u. Will remember u in my prayers. God bless u.
    This story touched me, pple really go thru problems. Dear Lord, unto ur hands we commit ourselves

    ReplyDelete
  16. What a sad story!
    You saw the hand writting on the wall but refused to read,move on...sorry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Story got me so angry that i stopped reading it. Blame NO ONE but yourself for your predicament. Gosh! You made so many excuses conveniently blaming everyone else. I can't believe this story really happened. Haba! U got engaged in Feb and wed in Sept, so btw that time you really couldn't tell u were going to marry urself...? Guy saw u for what you are and used you with ur permission. Pls do d world a favour and stay single.


      Mistletoe

      Delete
  17. Jesus!!!...
    This story is LONG...
    Can't believe u sat down to read this...chineke Nna,I will be late for school run today....
    Poster,am so sorry for all you passed through....gosh!!!...
    Thank God you left that marriage and yes,you are going to fall in love and get married again trust me...I
    I don't even know what to say....
    How can a girl pay for her own marriage???...Jesus !!!!...
    Girls shine your eyes ohhhh biko....investigate the family you are entering before any marriage plans....
    A guy was telling me that men of nowadays don't tell their girlfriends the truth about their financial status cos most girls now wants a rich man to marry....so it's better you lie cos if you keep saying the truth,you will never get married....

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh my God,that was how that guy told me he is an engineer where as he is a cab man,and wanted to marry me,asking me for money and lying about everything,hian
    God save you oh

    ReplyDelete
  19. Mehn this story is handful...can't even drive...the worst I have seen...
    I will like to meet this poster,lemme introduce her to someone that will worship her...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm u lie about your finances, marry her then enter world war z when she finds out, to what end?

      Delete
    2. Hi queen of sdk's blog.

      Will you hook me please? I am a single lady who has never been lucky with men. Please introduce me to any available person who you know is single and ready to mingle. Should need be, i am equally ready to communicate more about me if you need more information. But that will be done privately.

      Delete
    3. Hi queen of sdk's blog.

      Will you hook me please? I am a single lady who has never been lucky with men. Please introduce me to any available person who you know is single and ready to mingle. Should need be, i am equally ready to communicate more about me if you need more information. But that will be done privately.

      Delete
    4. Hmnnn. Queen of this blog. What she needs at the moment is friends. Real friends

      Delete
  20. I cnt believe all dis things happened to 1 woman#u re indeed strng nd I don't blame u 4 wateva u did#God alwaz has a reason 4 evrytin.Believe in him.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow, I don't believe I read this to d end. Poster d signs were there but U weren't attentive. Just pray to God

    ReplyDelete
  22. Haba! Is this exam? I couldn't finish abeg!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Which kyn long story be this one?

    ReplyDelete
  24. *whistles* Long thing!
    Sad & hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I had to read this for almost one hour. What a sad story but everything will end in praise..

    ReplyDelete
  26. Madam Poster you actually saw all this coming but decided to Play "Rose for Jack" in a non-existing titanic shiP..... Actually struggled to read all but couldn't. Its was quite a long read and such that freaks one out why trying to figure out why you decided to be your own sorrow.
    You engaged your self?
    You wedded your self?
    What else? Those that finished should helP me summarize let me go back to work.
    Its well Poster inugo??? Bye!

    #YourLegacyLivesOnProfDoraAkunyili*7/6/14
    *Prayer For Nigeria in Distress x10 Daily*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You summarized it o jare. She did everything to be a Mrs and even refused to leave until it became too much

      Delete
    2. She rented the house herself
      Furnished it herself
      Took loan all by herself
      I tire

      Delete
    3. All I see here is a very good write up done distinctly by a good writer !! ..... Stories that touches the heart .

      Delete
  27. I feel so broken!!am so upset right now!but "some"yoruba men tho.am yoruba,but i cant marry a yoruba man!!wht my mom is also goin through in her marriage....only God can deliver her.i try as mch as possible not to hate my father....oh i try my best.i knw finding the right man has got nothing to do with tribe or race.....but then again!!Poster u will find a wonderful man,tht will make you forget all abt ur past.u might feel lost and clueless abt wht the future holds ....just keep the faith!he'll make everything pretty in his time(Ecc3:11 or so).Plenty E hugs n kisses!just keep thanking God.u still have ur sanity.its ok for you to cry.....cry as much as you want.but after crying put urself togeda and focus on God,urself and ur career".the right man will come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The bitter truth is Yoruba men don't make good husbands...
      I will keep saying it...
      And their women don't help matters by forming miss independent....
      It's a man's responsibility to marry you with his money,provide for you and the kids,takes care of the home expenses etc....a woman's money is suppose to be jara if you wish to contribute...
      Where I come from,they see women as ori Aku di ya...

      Delete
    2. Ask God for the right man. Tribe is nothing.

      Delete
    3. Exactly linda!!! If you want to marry a yoruba man marry one who didn't grow up in Nigeria. The ones here are a useless lazy bunch

      Delete
    4. I'm afraid I have to agree with u. Yoruba women stop! Allow these men to be men. Stop with sponsoring ur relationship.

      Delete
    5. Yoruba men shy away from responsibilities
      Am yoruba so don't bother insulting me

      Delete
    6. Yoruba and edo men are the ones that fall into this category of decieving ladies and duping them,lazy fowls

      Delete
    7. Lol! Am a hausa girl married to an ibo man, 10yrs of marriage, 7 years of me as breadwinner.i pay rent, fees, upkeep.ds man walked away from a six figure job 2 become househusband. right now his father,mother, sister and brother are in my house eating my food.hanging in 4 my 4 kids, if i see man i 4 run
      4gt d hausa/ibo/yoruba stereotypes, just pray u don't meet a liability as husband. Stella reply my mail please, disturbed

      Delete
    8. You too get sense my dear. I've witnessed 3 marraiges hit the rocks this year alone and ALL of them have the same recurring factor: a lazy, lying, abusive, wicked, irresponsible YORUBA man who wants to reap where he did not sow, treating their wives like garbage and keeping up useless false appearances. She puts food in your mouth and you have the audacity to stab her because she didnt buy diesel?? I'm just tired abeg. If anybody steps to me and says Hi I'm Ade/Ola/Tunde etc na to pick Usain Bolt race be that

      Delete
    9. I don't think it's about a particular tribe... It's about being human and that's means we err by default.
      As long as the man isn't a loving and Godly human .... Forget about it! Some marry good men, some marry bad men and some marry ugly men same as the women folks too vice versa.
      This is life ** in Lisa wang voice **

      Delete
  28. nawa ooo! I read tire sef, only u went tru all ds. babe u strong

    ReplyDelete
  29. Replies
    1. Abeg this isnt love ,this is the mother of all deception.the guy is a monster

      Delete
    2. Yes my Sis @ Bootylycious. A fraudster. I want to believe he is mentally unstable

      Delete
  30. God go get judgement o.... just when u think you have a problem then you hear someones problem and thank God.... dear poster God will comfort and strengthen you and give you all round peace

    ReplyDelete
  31. Pheeeeeew! What a read. Now we know its not just d women dat r gold diggers. Lazy scum bag.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Madam,

    From the moment you 'paid for your own engagement ring', you consented to manipulation and abuse.

    I'm sorry I have to say it as it is.

    You gave your consent to be maltreated. I'm sorry I cannot pity you.

    I had a very similar evil man pretend he wanted to marry me. He is an elder brother to a Nollywood Actor. His whole family knew he was a deceiver and continued covering him up with lies.

    I was not in the country then but I proceeded to investigate his cock and bull claims and God revealed the rest.

    I called the parents, and sent bulk emails to all his friends, network of business contacts plus fellow deceivers attaching evidence of his forged international passport, forged school certificates, 419 emails plus correspondences with babalawo (yes he was that evil but my own God was greater).

    Everyone now knows about him except if you are a new acquaintance of his.

    I have absolutely no regrets leaving that nincompoop. When I remember what I lost while I was with him, I thank God for the hard lessons I learnt and I believe one day he will replenish me.

    It happened 6 years ago and till today, it has taught me NEVER TO BE SENTIMENTAL WHEN DEALING WITH MEN.

    Once a man starts becoming needy and dependent, RUN!!!! It is alien to a real man's nature.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love your last paragraph. I feel sad for you poster. You better learn from this episode. You are lucky you are out in less than a year. Too much time hasn't passed. And you're lucky you have a supportive family. Better dust yourself up, and use your sense next time. For now forget men small, rebuild your confidence and self esteem and and carry your brain with you when you're dating next time. Thank God he did not kill you sef.

      Delete
    2. Exactly wat av bin saying. Stop feeding broke niggas. Run from them. Ha!

      Delete
  33. HEY, AM NOT EVEN DONE READING THIS STORY. PLS LEAVE THIS MARRIAGE. ITS A SHAM NOT A MARRIAGE. THE FOUNDATION IS DECEIT AND LIES. MY DEAR YOU CANT LEAVE WITH IT. YOU WILL DIE IN MISERY GET OUT AND MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. THERE IS ONLY ONE OTHER PERSON I ADVICE TO LEAVE HER MARRIAGE AND THAT IS COS HER LIFE WAS AT STAKE.
    DONT FEEL BAD, IN THIS CASE YOU NEED TO LEAVE PLS DEAR SISTER. YOU WERE DECIEVED.

    ReplyDelete
  34. You were desperate to getmarried n ignored so Manny flaws!
    That's what I learnt from ur epistle.

    Age difference matters if d guy is younger n jobless.
    Sorry for what happened.
    Learn from ur mistake n move on!
    Stop beating urself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just what you learnt. I sorry for you. Brainless with a head.

      Delete
  35. Na wa ooo. why would you allow your people including your pastor to push you. Your pastor dont have spiritual eyes to know that the man is problem to you.

    It is painful and very long to read. all the same i wish you well. leave him and rebuild your life.

    men are synonyms to laziness. they want to harvest where they did not sow. your church self na wa ooo. It is very well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which English is this?

      Delete
    2. Thank you, only few pastors have spiritual eyes nowadays. She is lucky she dey alive sha, if she die nah those same pastors wey do marriage ceremony go do burial ceremony...people need to watch n pray. Devil is busy

      Delete
  36. Wow! Wow! This is so so deep.God will comfort you and bless you with the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.Same thing happened to my anuty oh!her own jar she ran back from yanki to marry the guy.today my anuty has gone mental while the lovely wedded husband is married to another money bag.may God help we women.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Is this story a joke or what?
    Its so long and sounds fake.
    Even if they jazzed you madam, this is going overboard!
    Aunty stella, check this story biko

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women are doing worst...desperate to marry

      Delete
    2. It is soooooo true dear. Learn 4rm it.

      Delete
  38. hmmmmn............You saw the signs dear but ignored them.

    well I have to say IT IS WELL even though u don't believe in it plus you don't have to deserve God's Grace to get,it's an UNDESERVED GIFT

    Receive Grace and may God heal your broken heart.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hmmmmm this is something else, took a very deep breathe after reading this

    ReplyDelete
  40. Remembered an animal I rushed into that decieved me too, he was rusticated nd lied he was in the army, he duped me nd I e en bought my engagement myself, he was depending on me nd was rushing marriage , his name is Jude

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This one is Jide. R u sure its not the same person?

      Delete
  41. But Madam, you knew he had a family, yet you married him without inquiring to meet his family? Even if they are in the end of the world, it is better to take the pain for a week to meet his family because marriage is forever.

    I am so pained because you are educated yet you allowed 1 uneducated beggar cheat you? It is better late than never. Thank God you are out and if you like, go back into the marriage.

    Lastly, you have no right to blame the people who knew him but did not tell you. You yourself saw the signs before venturing into the marriage but you ignored them.

    I am even at a loss for words i swear, don't worry. You will know peace now that you are out of the house.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Please dry your tears.

    Completely dry your tears.

    God will restore all you have lost. That man is acting out of frustration.

    I am happy you distanced yourself from all that. I am happy. You are stronger than you know. Things will be just fine. My dear, you have been through a lot but be strong.

    There are days you will miss him but don't ever think the relationship is right just because you missed him. Stay away.

    Ladies, you can not raise a man. You cannot turn an oloshi into a husband no matter what.

    So many gold diggers out there preying on working class ladies.

    Parents stop rushing your kids into marriage.

    Africans stop disrespecting single girls, divorcee or widows.

    XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. X0X0 the disrespect no be for Hia o! The way they talk about single ladies in my office even me way be man just tire! Wetin dem do? Many of them are good ladies who didn't do what their mates did to marry (babalawo, pregnancy etc) yet today they are called ashawo

      Delete
    2. XOXO mystery making sense since 1880

      Delete
  43. I feel sorry for this woman but then again I do not. The signs were there glaring at her but she chose to do nothing about it. Haba!!! Women be wise o cause you will be the one to face the most consequences. As sad as it is sometimes we have to realise its a mans world. That no good husband of hers will probably still see someone else to manipulate and she will be stigmatised as being a divorcee. Abeg be wise. god should be your only standard not age or man or even parental pressure in marriage or other decisions in life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is not a mans world. That is just what Nigerian women like to believe. Her husband will remarry and not change bcos women are too desperate to answer Mrs. They would marry cats if the cat would call them Mrs.

      Delete
  44. The fuck did I just read? You saw the handwritings on the wall and you still went ahead to marry him.Sorry ooo! May you find happiness as you move him.

    PS- I slapped you mentally severally while reading.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Hmmmmm am speechless..... Is this a movie script or real...if its real then certainly u wud find love again.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'm even trying to understand the reason for this write up and you sending it in.
    Is this a mechanism for you to get over it and move on?
    because right now you just sound stupid! (and I rarely insult)
    from the very BEGINNING you was not interested! Heck! you didnt even want to go to the meeting where you first met him.
    I read that line over and over again....you said you didnt want to go, but you went. Little did I know the story was going to get "worse".

    Why on this earth will you take out a loan in your name for somebody you barely know!? What would he have done if you hadnt of met him!?

    Anyway....theres no point going on and on about your f*uck ups as there will be many comments that will remind you of that.

    I want to say one thing and one thing only...it is something that I live by and I think you need to add it to your life. The saying is this....."If you can't listen to yourself, who will you listen to!?"
    Nobody knows you better than yourself! you dont want to take part in something...then dont do it!!! simple! not do it because somebody said you should, even though deep in your heart you dont want to.
    YOU ARE A FOLLOWER AND A LISTENER AND YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK THAT EVERYBODY ELSE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOURSELF!

    SO.....REPEAT AFTER ME.....

    "IF I CANT LISTEN TO MYSELF, WHO THE F**K WILL I LISTEN TO!?'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is called entrapment the guy is the king of manipulation

      Delete
    2. *repeating after you IF I CAN'T LISTEN TO MYSELF, WHO THE F**K WILL I LISTEN TO!?

      Delete
  47. Uneccsarily long story. U sound uneducated yourself for not being able to shorten your epistle for public reading. MORAL OF THE STORY; YOU ARE A COMPOUND FOOL WOMAN! U wanted to marry quick, God showed u signs but u said no my firstname is mumu. Now u want to gove us headache with this novel u wrote. Pls go sit down

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. people like u @best opinion are why people commit suicide. dyu want to say u have never made a mistake in ur life. pls respect urself

      Delete
    2. Best opinion or thoughtless, un- analytical, stupidest opinion ever. Why do you even have a head in the first place. Brainless mudafucker!

      Delete
    3. Epic response!
      Lol @ "..firstname is mumu "....

      Delete
  48. I feel sorry for this woman but then again I do not. The signs were there glaring at her but she chose to do nothing about it. Haba!!! Women be wise o cause you will be the one to face the most consequences. As sad as it is sometimes we have to realise its a mans world. That no good husband of hers will probably still see someone else to manipulate and she will be stigmatised as being a divorcee. Abeg be wise. god should be your only standard not age or man or even parental pressure in marriage or other decisions in life

    ReplyDelete
  49. Very soon your ex-husband will come to S&M post and hook up with another rich daddy's girl.


    XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
  50. Dear poster, I feel for you, may God give you the grace to stay strong, I know its not easy but the Lord will compensate you with someone better. Don't stop believing, keep the faith high and you will smile again.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Wooow!!! A liar,a pretender,wife-beater..am so sorry dear.pple will say 'this is ur own side of the story..but the fact he didn't say the truth on a lot of things is enuf for me to belive,he is not really a nice person.

    Ladies shine your eyes,men want ready made girls from rich families these days. My sister married one of them. May her soul rest in peace Amen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. Guys arent smiling o. They are plenty in Abj. Jobless and unambitious guys looking for classy, rich ladies to milk.

      Delete
  52. Hmmm. Longest story I ever read on SDK! I feel you my dear. I've almost been deceived into marriage too. But me, I follow my guts. If something doesn't sound right, hold all actions till u r sure. Nobody, neither family nor pastor will force me into marriage because I'm of age to marry! May God help you and see you through.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hmmm what a story. Thank God for d gift of wisdom. Ako na Uche cannot be bought in the market o. How can u marry a man without meeting his family or sighting his credentials? O ga o. Love can be blind for some people. Madam poster sorry. Please pick d remaining pieces of your life and live it well.

    ReplyDelete
  54. He was washing your cloth for you. onyeoma
    Did you tell him you are looking for a houseboy?




    XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
  55. Just when you think you have seen/heard it all, another drops like a bomb.

    I sincerely thank God that I didn't end up in an almost similar situation like this poster.

    Ladies, if you meet a man who is in a hurry to wed you, nne jukwa ese!!

    The guy was gonna gather all his osusu (contribution) money, and borrow some, so that we would do intro and trad wedding.

    I asked him "after that, what then?"

    He couldn't afford a place, always complaining of being broke, but will always drink beer. EVERY FRIGGING DAY!!
    Was still stuck with a company that gave him a big title, and a meagre salary of 50k. He wasn't even willing to get another job. I was doing the job hunting for him.

    Ontop of all that, dude had a temper.
    Saw me walking my colleague down to his car one evening, and cos I didn't see him cos I was looking straight ahead, dis nigga ran after me and was shouting my name.
    He created a scene o. My colleague felt bad.

    We were not even up to 3 months in courtship.

    My brothers and sisters on SDKB, I used my tongue and counted my teeth.

    Started courting in march 2014.
    Ended it in June 2014.

    Ladies, look well, think well, and pray well when a broke ass man wants to marry u in a hurry.

    PEACE!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God you counted well
      You counted your canine, molars, pre molars and picked up your shoes
      Forever is too long to be unhappy my dear sister

      Delete
  56. Jesus! All these lies just to marry someone? Hmmmmm na wa o.

    Poster, God is your strenght.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Your story is so pathetic, won't say you saw d signs but ignored cos u truly did. What I hope you can do now is change your environment, immerse ur self in work in church nd in learning to love ur self again. It won't be easy but you can do it, I wish u can move out of ur city to another one where u can change work nd change friends nd change everything so u can recover fully. But you can do it just let God lead nd guide you. Never go back to such man cos he doesn't deserve u or any woman too. God is ur strenght dear and in no time you shall be happy and rejoice again. You are special and is destined for something better. God gives perfect gifts and your next marriage will be perfect. Trust in God nd never forget he's a father who will never fail. Kpele dear.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Your story is so pathetic, won't say you saw d signs but ignored cos u truly did. What I hope you can do now is change your environment, immerse ur self in work in church nd in learning to love ur self again. It won't be easy but you can do it, I wish u can move out of ur city to another one where u can change work nd change friends nd change everything so u can recover fully. But you can do it just let God lead nd guide you. Never go back to such man cos he doesn't deserve u or any woman too. God is ur strenght dear and in no time you shall be happy and rejoice again. You are special and is destined for something better. God gives perfect gifts and your next marriage will be perfect. Trust in God nd never forget he's a father who will never fail. Kpele dear.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Mitcheww,am angry with dis BV . Desperate a mama!

    All in a bid to be Mrs somebody!

    His brother"s. attitude shud have told u he is irresponsible

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah desperate not to be called aunty gwegwegwe by wicked people like you. I am a guy and just hate ladies who hate other women because they ain't married.

      Delete
  60. Long story, the writing was on the wall from the beginning. You enjoyed being lied to.

    You played yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  61. SMH at you. Good for you

    ReplyDelete
  62. Awwwwwh ! What a horror experience.

    This is not a time to apportion blame on you, cause it seems that you are then Love Blinded.

    Come receive an E-hug that will sooth the pain you have been through.

    It is never too late to make a positive decision.

    IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO TAKE A RIGHT TURN, NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU HAVE TRAVEL ON A WRONG ROUTE !

    Move mai Love, and hold on to GOD to heal you broken heart.

    You need GOD more than ever before now !

    Once more E-Hug, you are a hero, having passed through all these your head is still high and not lost.

    I wish I can be your friend.

    Loads of Love from me.

    ReplyDelete
  63. All I can say is that some people are wicked. But lady you have a fault too. Thank god you're out

    ReplyDelete
  64. Long story but I read it till the end
    Lady, while I feel for you you entered with your eyes wide open. You saw the signs but decided to go ahead, don't blame your family please. If you had stood your ground that you're not going to get married to him they won't force you. I don't support him beating you, you should have called the police. I would also love to hear your husband's side of the story because we women know how to play victim.
    Ladies NEVER NEVER EVER marry a man without a job, you'll regret it. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR ... ....

    ReplyDelete
  65. OmG!!! Lord save us frm bad men

    ReplyDelete
  66. Dont make the mistake of going back to that monster of a man. The deed has been done already,there's no point apportioning blames to yourself . Move on and stop wallowing in self pity.
    Same thing happened to my friend,the guy claimed he z working with an oil company, and to think that it was a fellow woman dt intoduced her to d fool.
    My friend paid her dowry, footed all the trad n white wedn bills cos the guy said he will pay as soon as he gets his contribution from the office which he claimed was more than A million. An oil worker? I was stunned. The very first day i saw him, i told a friend that my spirit detests the man cos i have a very strong spirit but it was already late cos they ve done the court wedding already. After some time the real him stated coming out, my friend stoped keepin money @ home cos he will search everywia searchable lookin 4 wat to steal. She was carrying her jewellry about, always telling her to borrow money from friends and pay in instalments.
    The truth z d man was out of job and was looking for an already made girl to marry. My friend dealt with him infact until he breathes his last breath,he will never forget what he passed through and still passing.
    Did i tel u he was already married wt 3kids but abandoned them cos he couldnt fend for them? Monnster!!!!!!!!
    My dear instead of blaming yourself,stand up and go for a divorce already.
    Sorry for what happened.
    May i never encounter such failure of a man in my marital journey. Amennnnnnnnnnnnnn!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have learnt that if you follow your Spirit led my the Holy Spirit, you won't miss it in marriage.
      We all need to be sensitive
      People are wicked!!!!
      Fine tune your relationship with the Holy Spirit and allow Him lead you....
      And don't forget common sense!!!
      Am really sorry about your friend.. so so sad

      Delete
    2. Amen to all the single ladies i know

      Delete
  67. Hmmm...am so dumfounded, don't know what to say..as much as i would say shine your eye well before you marry but i thank God for giving you the sixth sense to walk away when you did cos someone like that can actually kill you... As for your future trust God cos He makes all things beautiful in His time and He knows the end from the beginning so fret not and be not dismayed cos He is in control of our future...it will definitely end in Praise

    ReplyDelete
  68. This is the saddest chronicle I have read on this blog. Dear poster, please take heart.
    The Lord is your strength.
    Do not go back to him.
    The physical and emotional abuse is too much for one person to bear.
    You will find love someday soon and you will forget all that you went through.
    Mehn i am sad from reading this.
    Almost moved to tears...

    ReplyDelete
  69. Obara jesus,i actually read it to the end, am happy you took that bold step trust God and wait on him alone! As for me, am taking my time if anyone pressure me I will block your contact be it mother or father cause I no wan enter one chance! I pity his next victim

    ReplyDelete
  70. Hmmn.first of all there are lots of graduates who are worse than this man in question,education is never a criteria for a good marriage,a good and godly heart
    is,so stop the emphasis on him not being a graduate,many of our parents or
    grandparents were not one but they had
    better marriages,the guy deceived you into
    marriage which is the main issue,then
    again he had a child which he didn't
    disclose to u, that child he had which you
    weren't informed about is enough reason
    to have the marriage annulled, don't go
    back to him,dont take his calls and dont even bother insulting him again cos you have conquered,you will meet another
    man very soon but be very careful,you will
    find love sooner than you expect,there is
    someone who was in love with you while
    you were with your fake man,don't focus on man now,focus on getting an apartment,furnish it to taste,watch good movies and start saving up for a holiday ,very soon your husband will come for you and this your experience with time will pale and you will be in the position to counsel people.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Gaddemitttt. The punctuation errors, spelling errors, poor syntax (I could go on and on!); am I the only one that developed a slight headache while reading this? yes? no? ok then.

    Poster, take heart. You have learned your lesson and no sense crying over spilt milk. Be happy that God brought you out of that mess with your LIFE and with added wisdom. Let God be your priority now and I'm sure your future will be bright and free from unhappiness. Amen.

    Wish you all the best in love and life!

    ReplyDelete
  72. Too too long abeg. I read it though.
    God showed you the signs but you just choose to marry yourself. Sorry about all you went through but WISDOM is key.
    God help us all

    ReplyDelete
  73. Dont make the mistake of going back to that monster of a man. The deed has been done already,there's no point apportioning blames to yourself . Move on and stop wallowing in self pity.
    Same thing happened to my friend,the guy claimed he z working with an oil company, and to think that it was a fellow woman dt intoduced her to d fool.
    My friend paid her dowry, footed all the trad n white wedn bills cos the guy said he will pay as soon as he gets his contribution from the office which he claimed was more than A million. An oil worker? I was stunned. The very first day i saw him, i told a friend that my spirit detests the man cos i have a very strong spirit but it was already late cos they ve done the court wedding already. After some time the real him stated coming out, my friend stoped keepin money @ home cos he will search everywia searchable lookin 4 wat to steal. She was carrying her jewellry about, always telling her to borrow money from friends and pay in instalments.
    The truth z d man was out of job and was looking for an already made girl to marry. My friend dealt with him infact until he breathes his last breath,he will never forget what he passed through and still passing.
    Did i tel u he was already married wt 3kids but abandoned them cos he couldnt fend for them? Monnster!!!!!!!!
    My dear instead of blaming yourself,stand up and go for a divorce already.
    Sorry for what happened.
    May i never encounter such failure of a man in my marital journey. Amennnnnnnnnnnnnn!

    ReplyDelete
  74. God bless u dearie for dis soul touching writeup.you've just saved a soul......Ladies,learn from her mistake.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I really don't feel sorry for you. You are a stupid woman. You smelt a rat in the beginning but you were too stupid or lazy to take action. Your greediness put you in this predicament. The signs were there all along, you should have called of the wedding on the wedding day. You are very daft. I am so angry. I am so angry that you let a man put you through all this rubbish. A relationship that starts out as a lie will never work!!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Chikito a.k.a FinalSay3 March 2015 at 15:35

    Ah! My darling madam.... You allowed them play you. Single ladies, always have a mind of your own.... PLS!!! Don't let anyone convince u oooooh. Once your guts and instincts say otherwise, pls bail. I beg una.

    Every future has a foundation. A man who has a bright future would have plans on ground. Once he can't show u all his real documents, don't even take him to ur family. Investigate his documents too. Yes you can! My parents carry thorough investigations oh, even to family house in d village, before giving you their consent.

    I was really having these 'Imagine this woman!!' moments, until I read your diary session. And I understood ur pain. Ah! You are a very good woman but you weren't properly advised. You moved too fast. You ignored your instincts. And you didn't pray.

    God will give you another chance, please use it wisely. Kindly try and relocate. It will help you mentally. Do u have any family member abroad? Let them file for papers for u. Please change environment and heal urself of all this hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Ur story irritates the hell out of me.ur dumb n stupid,its nothing but stupidity that made u marry such a man.do u think marriage is a joke?a beg I no pity u at all,cos u get Wat u deserve

    ReplyDelete
  78. disjointed and too long,I read it tho, may God lead us to our right partners

    ReplyDelete
  79. My God!!!...How can you be so foolish. It serves u right. Girls don't lyk d truth at all. dey like sweet mouth. u deserve it. u re an idiot!!!. Bitch. I dey vex. I fit jam u with my car. imbecile lyk u. how stupid can one b. i didnt have 2 read too far 2 know its a yoruba man. have a yoruba guy i used 2 knw. terrible liar too. serves u ryt. greed kills biatch.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Sometimes we think our case is worse until we hear someone else's story. My sister, it is well with you, i pray God gives you inner joy and peace. Quest for marriage has led a lot of women into things they cannot come out of, some have been able to take the bold step and walk out of relationships without future and live with the heart break. Lets trust God to perfect his promise in our lives. I have been thru hell and back, but thank God i didnt marry any of the men in my past, i am still trusting God. Stay blessed my sister.

    ReplyDelete
  81. pple saying dey don't pity her,she doesn't nid u to cos obviously shez learnt from ha mistake as uv read, some of u r even worse Dan d poster. She simply narrated her ordeal so pple can learn from ha experience....so dose cussin her out shld shsh!! i tire for una wey dey do ova self righteous.

    honeydrop

    ReplyDelete
  82. Sometimes we think our case is worse until we hear someone else's story. My sister, it is well with you, i pray God gives you inner joy and peace. Quest for marriage has led a lot of women into things they cannot come out of, some have been able to take the bold step and walk out of relationships without future and live with the heart break. Lets trust God to perfect his promise in our lives. I have been thru hell and back, but thank God i didnt marry any of the men in my past, i am still trusting God. Stay blessed my sister.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Ok, we have heard ur side of the story; remaining his.


    But I doubt if he would be without blame, because the odds are just against him. But nevertheless, I would like to hear his side too

    ReplyDelete
  84. IS that last narrative for really? i wan marry i wan marry now you are single again. nothing beats peace of mind thats the most important sign that you are doing the right thing. God help you sha

    ReplyDelete
  85. What a pity!!
    Just like my sister's husband who married her cos of my hubby's money.

    Madam, it's obvious from Ur story that U were desperate for marriage and Ur folks were also in s hurry to offload U...

    U ve obviously created a bigger problem by letting anger and vindictiveness ruin what could ve been a beautiful home.....

    U know d issues won't be d original issue again, d issue will now be her "bareness" , pettiness, nagging , destiny destroyer etc etc. ....

    Ur husband did d best he could, going by Ur story and my understanding, U said he cooked, clean, polished Ur shoes and it's also obvious U were older from Ur narratives, Y didn't U polish him to be what U wanted, he could ve done other things but U were not encouraging once U knew he wasn't a doctor anymore..... he turned into what he became and deep down U know it's d truth..... U resented him, he wanted to make up for his "lies" but U wouldn't let him and by Ur own admission he always foes d wrong things....

    Well d guy got tired of dropping d soap and getting fhuked in d butt like a bitch by hid cellmate in prison... sorry this comment wasn't necessary.

    Education isn't just about d four walls of a classroom, it's a synergy of a number factors, schools, environment,exposure and d willingness to learn..... Ur husband is very intelligent, exposed, eager to learn but like most folk his age who made a mistake early in life and abandoned by his folks, he is filled with insecurities and poor him thought a marriage was d relief he needed. Most women are in this type of Ur arrangement kind of marriage and they a success out of it......

    I hate divorce, and from Ur narratives, U had Ur "misgivings" but still went ahead and said I do... so deliberately acting up and pushing Ur husband's buttons because he isn't d picture of what he painted isn't fair on Ur part and it will take a lot on d part of an Angel not to beat U up.... not condoning it sha##

    Lastly, it's so sad U are facing such, but U weren't holistic in presenting this issue: rather U were one sided and I hate one sided stories and not to play d Devil"s advocate, U are d one with issues... my opinion tho.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Chikito a.k.a FinalSay3 March 2015 at 16:01

    There is some guy showing real interest in me. He started recently.
    He was arguing with me that garri is healthier than wheat, that salads aren't going to make me add the right contours (i try as much as possible to maintain a healthy diet and I am a UK size 8 and I don't want to get bigger or fatter, at least until child-bearing period) Or am I wrong?

    He said we should go on a vacation to any place of my choice (in the presence of my friend who said she was travelling with her bf), i later told him (in a private discussion) dubai for about 4 days since I work and don't want to stay away for too long until summer. He now said he doesn't like dubai, that it doesn't excite him. that don't I have a american visa? Told him no. Expecting him to say 'ok. let's just go now and plan america for summer' (as that was my plan) he ignored and said he won't go to dubai adn I can't make him. WITH A HUGE SMILE. I responded 'ok' WITH A HUGE SMILE.

    First time we went on a date, he let me choose the restaurant. We enjoyed d date. Second time we deliberated on the choice together, we enjoyed the date and I actually liked that we agreed. The third time I asked him to choose. He chose somewhere I didn't like, but I followed and told him I enjoyed the meal. The next time he chose somewhere I didn't like, I told him their service was quite poor as its close to my friend's place and we go there whenever i go to visit he. He flared up and insisted WE MUST go there. hmm... The food came 1hr 15 mins after we ordered. I almost didn't eat as it was past my dinner time, but I just ate cos I was really hungry after work. The next time, he now said we should do dinner in his house. That he would cook. Ok. He cooked Eba and Vegetable soup. Reminded him I don't eat Eba, only wheat and amala. Besides, its 8pm and I won't try it cos I'd feel bloated. If it was wheat or amala I would have. Let me just have plenty of the soup. He flared up, that I am wasteful.
    WITH IMPECCABLE ENGLISH!

    That his wife can't work. What does she need to do business for? Women aren't smart with their money. Men are the ones who know how to allocate funds. Heard him tell his friend that the moment u start discussing money with ur woman, you have made yourself and her on the same level.

    We went out for dinner after work one day and i dropped him by his house. Then he started asking me if I like my car, I told him yes. (I drive a 2008 SUV) He now said he wanted me to sell it and give him the money so he can add and order a newer model. I said its ok that I don't need one for now. He got upset, that I don't make him feel like he's in control that can't I just do as he says. That women should follow the man's lead without complaining. I should sell the car fast and give him the money to get me something he considers more befitting. I apologized and drove home.
    I haven't picked his calls since then.

    He's a controlling, selfish, arrogant, possessive, domineering, dictator. And I won't be trapped into that life. Na so e dey start.....

    ReplyDelete
  87. Nawaa for waec!!! Pls. leave that man and run as long as ur leg can carry.

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  88. Jesus! This thing about merging spirits and behaving alike is true. And you even learnt how to borrow from him. How bad can one go?



    May we never see evil with our eyes, our go outside and bring it into our homes with our hands. Amen!


    Umunwaanyi... shine your eyes ooooo...






    Jennifer Oseloka

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  89. Honey you entered with your eyes open and you so desperately wanted to be married that you married a man with no means of income, no family,backing. Nothing. You say you miss marriage and this is were I know you have not learnt your lesson. Marriage is more than answering the title Mrs. You went through hell and should be looking to make better choices instead of missing marriage, what you had was not even a bad marriage, it was a scam. Never again should you do this to yourself pls.

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  90. i hope you have not told your ex about our single and mingle here. hope he dont know you are doing a chronicle of una live here.

    we dpnt want another fuck up here. abeg bvs make una get the guy name before we hear another story

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  91. Wow! These story weakened me! I'm still in shock!!

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  92. Poster u were desperate and foolish.you knew all this yet you went ahead.who eben gets married without meeting parents.is it that his parents never met or called you?abi isn't there such a tin as fone numbers?his dick must Av bin big n strong for you to have desperately wanted to marry.are u 50years old?because this experience is not for young girls.sorry but I don't pity you one bit.u married the truth becos he told no lies.you saw with your eyes and stil went ahead.

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  93. Pick up the pieces of your life and move on already,please don't look back!you were blinded from the beginning and trust me dude is so smart,he knows what to tell you to make u fall back and feel remorseful,how in God's name did you bottled up everything,move on already and ask God to keep you sane to focus more in life.the urge to get married will push a lot of young people ladies to die in silence.too long a narrative but had to read to the end.

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  94. The "bullets" and "missiles" wey dey this story dey give me headache. Why doesn't stella EDIT before she posts? Smh. It was torture reading through that mess.

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  95. The signs were there ab initio. You have learnt your lessons.

    This warning is for those of you who believe pastors are Gods. A catholic came to marry my sister she refused based on the ground that he was a catholic, thus not a born again. Her pastor joined her with one of the church members as directed by evil spirit (not the holy spirit I know). She later discovered she was married to a devil. She has left the marriage and according to her, she cant remarry, else she would be committing adultery. This means she will remain single all her life. People wake up, use the wisdom God has given you.Pastors are not God. They are human beings doing their businesses.

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  96. Stupid unneccesary long story!
    1, U were stupid cos u must have seen the writting on the wall
    2, maybe he bang u too well he cracked ur brains off u can't reason right!
    All this story sef plenty!
    How cul u go thru all this blindly?
    Not that u have kid or kids that's holding u
    Ur either very desperate u want to get married or ur a very ugly girl that saw a cute broke ass nigga and married him against all odds!
    Sorry for u as I have no pity for u
    Shine ur eye well next time!
    Marriage go way beyond a man's huge d**k and fine face!
    U learn the hard way which is good

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  97. @ the queen..am a yoruba man and i must tell you tribe has nothing to do with marriage.what matters is how one i being brought up.i have seen a situation of a terrible igbo man who is almost like the one in the narrative.one edo man for my street terrible pass this 1 in the narrative.as a married man, u have to be open to your wife and MUST be responsible for your family...tnk u.

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    Replies
    1. My dear I was born and raised in a yorubaland, to be poolite 70% of Yoruba men have children from different women and leave the women to fend for themselves,Yoruba men also love women that work,you can hardly find Yoruba house wife,also not every Igbo man is good but majority pass in marriage,they know to be taken care of
      wify,then again always go for a hardworking,godly and a man who
      is full of sympathy,some women help their hubby because they are
      lucky financially and they don't regret,some girls paid for their wedding and they never regretted it while some regret,some also marry rich men and regret it while some don't,a lot of rich people's marriages are even crashing more than the poor ones but be careful not to marry an evil person rich or poor u will regret it @queen u married a good man even if he was poor you would still have enjoyed the marriage.never marry a lazyman

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  98. Sweet malo chic3 March 2015 at 16:32

    Ahhhhh I read this story twice. Poster u went through all this? Mennnnnnnnn!!!! This guys ain't loyal.

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  99. This your story get as e be. Too long and rambling. How can someone force you to marry him. I hope you are not absolving yourself of blame here. Also you're daddy marrying you off to someone he knew nothing concrete about.

    Just all a very strange story. All I can say is na wa

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  100. I am not a tribalist, but my dear Benin men are on another level of 419. Used to be engaged to one, but thank God the marriage did not happen. Same nonsense - expected me to pay for engagement ring, wedding ring, wedding dress and wedding. Also expected me to pay for my own transport to do the engagement, as my family lives outside Lagos. When asked to drop money for wedding, he said he had no money - can you imagine?

    Thank your God you got out of it. Benin men are made for Benin women biko. They are the only ones who can handle each other. It is well.

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  101. Wow, I read this for more than 1 hour. Seriously both of you have a goal to achieve. You married title not for love, and he married riches not for love.. you wanted a medical doctor as a husband thats why you never calm done to reason well when all was not going well. you were struggling to love him when you found out the title was not even there.... I won't want to comment much. I'm glad you have picked up and ready to move on, wish you all the best... this is a lesson for someone out there.. When ever Stella will put up Single and mingle post, You will see thousands of ladies looking for title men to hook up with, and when you get to know them they are not even single, just want to know a man's financial strength...
    Pls love truly and if is not your kind of man, just stay away cos some day the title will not be there anymore and you will find it difficult to love..

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  102. OMG!!! I just lost 5years outta my life span reading this. Did i really just read this to the end??? Boy! I need to get a life...

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  103. Wow, I read this for more than 1 hour. Seriously both of you have a goal to achieve. You married title not for love, and he married riches not for love.. you wanted a medical doctor as a husband thats why you never calm done to reason well when all was not going well. you were struggling to love him when you found out the title was not even there.... I won't want to comment much. I'm glad you have picked up and ready to move on, wish you all the best... this is a lesson for someone out there.. When ever Stella will put up Single and mingle post, You will see thousands of ladies looking for title men to hook up with, and when you get to know them they are not even single, just want to know a man's financial strength...
    Pls love truly and if is not your kind of man, just stay away cos some day the title will not be there anymore and you will find it difficult to love..

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  104. Yoruba men always going after women's money

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  105. My ooh My
    I'm glad I read to the end.
    Poster it is well with you(aatleast you ve heard that a thousand times; but still IT IS WELL)
    God shall restore all the years the canker worm had destroyed. Be happy.

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  106. Women listen up and listen good. Marriage won't give you happiness if you don't have it already in your heart. We as human beings are inherently selfish and this is why marriage is hard because it requires you to constantly do something that isn't natural to your human nature. Loving someone who is flawed as you are.

    Don't despair if you're a certain age and aren't married. Marrying will never EVER give you whatever it is you lack in yourself. Not self esteem, not money( this is temporary because a human being just like yourself can decide when to give and when to use it to control you. Have yours so that no one will take it away ever!), children yes but have as many as you are willing to raise.

    Vet these men well. Ask the important questions. Do not be too quick to start having sex. Get to know who you are with. Observe and observe some more. Only accept the love you truly believe that you deserve. Never let anyone else have power over your core being. You alone have power over how you feel about yourself, your self esteem etc. If you have none, work on getting it before you marry anyone.

    Depend on no one but yourself and always whatever you do understand that life/ the world doesn't owe you anything! Anything you want, go out there and work hard for it. Your parents owe you nothing neither do your siblings. Most importantly not your husband except the vows he made in front of God. Even then he's a human who might at some point break those vows. What will you do? Kill him?

    If you are blessed enough to marry a good man who treats you well and understands your love language then cherish it, guard that relationship and protect your own.

    Develop a strong sense of self, believe in yourself 100% and pray fervently. God bless and give us all the wisdom to learn from others and from our own mistakes. Being an adult isn't a walk in the park. God help us.

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  107. Wow!!!! I read it all, this is a sad tale. Thank God you know you got it wrong from the onset!
    He never loved you he just needed someone to be eating off of.
    Trust me love you better off without him and you will definitely find love again, all you need do now is to pick yourself up, don't think about relationships now. The only relationship you need is with God all things will work out later.
    Take care hun!!!

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  108. woman,i dont feel the slightest pity for you..the redflags were there but you ignored them..your cross.carry it cuz this is different from making a mistake..

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  109. Poster, I pray you continued strength. I read your whole narrative, please know there are those that feel your pain. Only God knows what some people are going through in the name of marriage and many of them do not have the strength to leave.
    We as people are allowed to make mistakes and rectify those mistakes by leaving the situation and living our lives to the best of our ability.
    Am so happy you found the courage to leave, a broke man can be a angry man. Nothing to do with you but his sense of self worth.
    Again I pray you strength to keep moving forward, going back to the thief will lead to life long hearthache, misery or death. Nine months of your life was enough! Happy there are no kids dragged into the insanity. Keep moving forward and happiness will be yours. Take care of yourself.

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  110. Hissssss! So u wanted to die in marriage? Becos of desperation! Next time summarise it cos it was too long n boring....

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  111. Sorry, first comment was before I finished reading your long epistle. It's good you've taken a walk. God will give you beauty for your ashes. Try and forgive yourself. And be happy it could have happened to anyone. Wish you God's grace.

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  112. This is a big shit. Buh you've gotta move on. Let d waters flow under the bridge. ..pls dont ever consider going back to that bitch

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  113. Poster,

    You have received some extremely hard knocks from the school of life.

    Pick your self up. You are alive. allyour faculties are still intact. You are not maimed. You will be healed of all hurt. Cast your eye on the future and keep marching on.

    You can rebuild your life. You will be happy again. You will find purpose and focus again. Just keep trudging on. Dont lose hope. It is well.

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  114. I have a very big problem with the title of this post. Tricked ke. Upon all the sign & revelations you saw you still went ahead and married this man. This was your fault, nobody deceived you. You could've bailed at any time but you didn't. Hmn. I don't feel sorry for you.

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  115. This is one of the longest posts I've ever read on a blog. I really feel sorry for you and even though we hate to believe it, men like your husband are real and are still out there looking for gullible women. There is no use crying over spilt milk or craving for the sham of a marriage that you once used to have. Trust me, it's all for the best now that you have moved on. Your next step is, get a proper divorce from the marriage and pick yourself up again. Don't go all out in search of a relationship or marriage but focus on getting closer to God and making good use of your time. In no short while a good man will come along and you'll start from scratch. How lucky you are that no child came forth from this union as you would have had a child/children to consider. You were bent but never broken dear. Pick up the pieces of your life and move on, it's not the end of the world. God bless you dear. And lastly, wipe off those tears from your cheeks and chin up. It is well, even inside the Well.

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  116. See them holier than thou hoes ,some of you here talking trash didn't u marry for money ???!!!. Haven't u lied to bf or husband to keep ur marriage or to get married ??!!! If u raise ur hand thunder go fire you ,cos u have !!!. I know he did wrong but who hasnt instead of this cougar to move on from his lies and make a life out of the lies she keeps revisiting his lies , rubbing it in his face every minute ,talking down on him at the slightest provocation !!! Let's switch roles here would you be happy if ur husband couldn't forgive ur lies and move on ??!! The guy has clearly lost his way in life it's ur responsibility as a wife to help find his bearing thru fasting , prayer , counseling ,understanding and love . As some women are housewives so some men are househusbands at least u won't need a cook or a cleaner . Woman wear the trouser for a change it wasn't made specially for men it's unisex . That rich husband that can provide for you with genuine cert may do worse . There's an atom of love for you in his heart build on it ,bridle ur tongue ,help him he needs help ,imagine if a husband treated u like the way uve done to him . You treat him like trash ,u deliberately provoke him cos he's a nobody !!! All this pretenders here talking fom their anus won't leave him fyi .theyll work on it . Go on ur knees and cry to God ,he will turn things around ,God can turn that guys shame to glory and u inturn a proud wife . Go to God . He will Neva let u down .

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  117. My past experience is almost like yours but the difference btw us is that i never agreed to his marriage proposal...I got to find out a lot of things wasn't right about him,our relationship was based on lies and deceit,always demanding and very fetish...Nobody advised me to run before i took my heels...Ladies pls beware if u come across any Jigolo called Olamide As..mi! His not who he claims to be,he will only come into ur life to use u and defraud you if u are not careful cos his got a very sweet mouth...

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