Chronicles Of HOPE - 12

H.O.P.E is not lost.......

FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBLE....

''Hi Stella, kindly feature this on your chronicles of hope, its a brief life story of my mum and how childlessness almost made her life a living hell...I sought her permission to share it with blog visitors and I pray someone finds hope in this.

This story might seem so long but please find time to read...

My mum got married at the age of 18 just after school cert...(actually her bride price was paid at 17 but she officially started living with her husband at 18). When she got married she was so naive, there where no tests of any sort, she actually married her first suitor. She said said she got married so early because she felt people from her family are fat and she wanted to get married then because she was slim so that she when she eventually starts getting fat she would have been in her husband's house..*what an excuse to get married* 

Anyways after her marriage, her husband halted all her plans of going to school and asked her to focus on having a baby because that was the sole purpose of marriage, she waited for 2years when the kids where not forth coming, she pleaded with him to sponsor her back to school which he  refused, then with the help of Friends, she sought a teacher training college that addmited few students via free education and applied.... when she was admitted, she told her husband about it and begged that he buys her few text books and notes he refused, while all these where going on, she never told her family, it was a day before she was meant to resume schooling, her husband came into her room and tried to force himself on her,telling her that having kids was her primary purpose and not the school she was preparing for...when she refused he flogged her mercilessly with a belt, then the next morning she ran back to her parents house, her parents gave her money for her books and upkeep then sent her back to her husband and asked her to go and settle with him...Lol.

Do you know that even when she was in school, he will still come and visit her and force himself on her, in the house her parents rented for her, he didn't even support her with a kobo.
It was in school that she meet a couple of girls and they advised her to go for a test with her husband so that the doctor will check if they had fertility problems...after much pleading he agreed to go, and when it was time to collect the results he went and collected the results by himself and interpreted it to his wife in the way that pleased him...

Fast forward after some years, he married an illiterate pregnant house help and told my mum he was the one that impregnated her, mum said during that time, she was busy trying to find herself since she didn't have kids, she finished TTC and got a teaching job while her co-wife was busy having kids.. he made her busy with buying food stuff for the house since she couldn't have kids, he felt it right she should use her money and provide food while the second wife will be having the babies.

It was later that she came across the test results..*mum can document for Africa*..then she took it to a doctor friend of hers who explained that the owner of the male test result was impotent and couldn't get a woman pregnant, she confronted her husband with it and even threatened to take the case to his kings men..*She was from same village with her husband*

Do you know that after they had that quarrel, one day mum came back from her school farm on Saturday and this man locked her out and changed the locks...that was how he chased her out of his house, she didn't leave with a pin, all her clothes and books and everything was in his house, he locked her out and traveled, mum went back to stay with her parents...*there was no phone then*.. so she had to take transport from the village to abakiliki where she stays with her husband to check if he had come back..when he returned she begged and begged for him to at least release her properties for her but he refused, he only managed to give her school certificates.

Do you know that the shameless second wife will wear mum's cloth and gold jewelries that her parents bought for her and come for August meeting?.

Anyway, Mum started her life Afresh, met an amazing man and they had me, then she went ahead to ask for divorce and pay back her bride price, her husband agreed to accept the bride price on the condition that he takes custody of me, because during the period of pregnancy and child birth, she was still his wife. Even though her marriage with my late father never pulled through, I can state in countless ways how this man made her life a living hell.

 It all ended in praise, mum said she agreed to separate with the father of her kids on a mutual base, the stupid custom couldn't let them get married ...*my dad is from another tribe which made everything more difficult* but he gave her the greatest gift ...my brother and I

Believe me when I say we are doing 100 times better than the man's battalions ...

The latest we heard of him was that his wife abandoned him in the village when he retired and relocated to the village.. his 7 sons even beat him up recently and told him to his face that he was not their father.

He wants reconciliation now, but its been over 25years they've been separated...plus we've grown up so big *i am 22  my brother is 18* at this age we don't need to be daddied. The harm he did is already enough..I spoke to him on phone yesterday and he broke down in tears..

My Name is CHINAZAEKPELE-God answers prayers and my Brother's name is CHIMSIMDI-God said I'll live.

*I can go on and on how this man made life hell for mum and us, but for the sake of mum we have decided to forgive him, he needs JESUS IN HIS LIFE*

I forgive him from the depths of my heart because i am not God''.

There are some parts of this story i do not understand but its all good cos it ended in praise..so is your mum and her husband back together now?

Forgiving someone who hurt you is the best gift you can ever give yourself......I know this!