Find out why!
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DATING SOMEONE WHO HAS SOMEONE THAT IS ABOUT TO BE EX-ED
Stella Good day!
Greetings from a Neighbouring Country and may God bless your hustle and all you've been doing for People through your Blog.
Please, i would like the opinion of BVs on this issue i'm having right now. I just want to be sure of what i'm doing.
I met this nice, intelligent and down to earth dude recently when i was in Nigeria through a friend. We got talking and later exchanged contacts. Then the communication continued till the day he opened up to me that his Initial plan was to have fun, but now he's fallen for me. Of course i felt bad about what he said, but also appreciated the fact that he was bold enough to tell me what he had in mind towards me.
I decided not to cut him off straight up, but tried to get more information about him. One day, he came to visit me and a girl called him in my presence and he tried to play smart which i understood very well. But i had to pretend as if i didn't notice anything, later that day i asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no, which i didn't believe too.
Then one day, he invited me to his house to meet his parents and siblings, everything went well but still wasn't convinced he had no girl in his life. I later picked up his phone, told him I want to go through his pictures, which he didn’t decline. I had the opportunity to go through his call log and BBM messages. I found out he has a girl in his life, but their conversation was kinda funny like off and on thing, maybe once in 2 or three days. I decided not to ask him that very day, but 2 days later. Then he told me yea, he’s got a girlfriend but they aren’t in good terms, he’s trying to leave her but it hasn’t been easy for him.
I asked him why he didn’t open up to me at first and he apologized that I should think about it, he’s a guy and it’s not easy for a guy to open up everything at once. Then I thought about the text message the girl sent to him saying he’s gradually pushing her into the arms of another man. I asked him the reasons behind his actions, why he wants to leave his girlfriend and he said he’s no longer feeling her that love fades, he no longer love her and that there are other reasons which he can’t discuss with me nor the girl. He’s got his reservations about the girl. But I told him it would be nice for him to talk to her about it, even if he’s no longer interested in her, but it will definitely help her later in future. Now he wants us to get serious, he talks about the future with me, uses “we” instead of “I” in most of our conversations.
He’s been so nice to me too, and my friend found out from his closest friend that he’s gonna leave this other girl for real but he doesn’t want it to look as if it’s because of me he’s doing that. I told him I just can’t come between two people knowing very well that I’m a girl too. He should sort out things with the other girl first before coming fully into my life. That would be better abi?? But he still insist I stay because he believes that would help him get over her easily. Though he’s straight with me whenever I confront him with some issues I’m not cool with. He’s not doing bad for himself if you ask me, he’s got a very good Job too.
Now my question is, should I give him a chance? What if he’s trying to play on me because I’m overseas? Please my fellow BV, has anyone been in this situation before? Matured opinions needed and please do not curse me out.
Stella, I’m sure he visits your blog sometimes so please my id should be hidden.
Hmmmm.....i dont know what to say but it looks like you have a serial lover on your hands.that is how they jump from one person to another and tell sob tales when they want to move on.he will love you right,treat you right but he will have no reason for dumping you with the same story he's telling you now.
Do not get involved emotionally or sexually until the missing parts fall into place.
Tie your legs together and pretend to be a mermaid.close your heart and use your head.good luck and let us know how it goes!
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
ASKING A MAN OUT AND THE NIGERIAN MENTALITY.
After my last breakup I have had this hatred for men, but recently there is this guy I have suddenly developed likeness for...He comes to my gym, why I line him, he is so reserved and focused. He comes to the gym focus on what brought him to the gym and leaves, you never catch him chatting away like other guys at the gym.
We have talked on few occasions asides the regular hello/hi, I have not been to the gym since December and you won't believe I miss seeing him around, I returned back to the gym last week but didn't set my eyes on him till today he walked in on me making a call outside the gym, i hope I was able to hide my excitement when I saw him. I tried though, he too seemed glad to see me. We exchanged pleasantries and all the long time no see and how have you been and so on.
I really do like him and would want him to be my friend. But reality check "THIS IS NAIJA" a girl can't even approach a guy without been labelled slut or desperate or the guy in question thinking of taking advantage of you ...i don't have friends in this town and he looks so responsible i'd like to have him as a friend" just friends ". My question, can I ask him? If yes, how? Or should I keep hoping that one day he'd say he likes me too. I hope he doesn't read SDK...lol he will just know it's me. Stella please do help me post so I can get advice on what to do...God bless you Stella honey
Why dont you invite him out for dinner and start from trying to get to know him....and please unless it is sex you are after,make it clear from the first date that your legs are tied together like a mermaids.
Narrative 1: Desperate.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: Desperate
Una be twins?
Yes dem be twins
DeletePoster2 you don't know if he is married or in a serious relationship that is why he doesn't want to get involved,goodluck be taken Olosho
Poster1 re you that rich,to think the guy is. Coming for your abroad money
Lmao desperation at its peak!!! This marriage ting is making girls not think straight again.....
DeleteLol......dont mind Dem!!!!
DeleteLmao.U be case I swear
DeleteLol @ desperate. It's not wrong for a woman to love a man abeg. And why is it that d guys we like take a long time b4 liking us or asking us out. Like my hubby, he was d cutest guy av seen all my life. It took him 7yrs to like,love and marry me.
DeleteHahahahhahha
DeleteNarratives 2
DeleteActually in Nigeria it's a little odd to ask a guy out or just tell a guy you'd like to be his friend, but still people do this. Really if the guy is matured and responsible he'll not see anything bad in you asking him out or take you for granted or for a ride. I have had ladies ask to be my friend several times and some even told me directly that they'll like to date me, and if I am not interested, I do make my feelings known to them politely without coming across as rude or as turning them down. There is no gain in taking advantage of a ladies feelings for you. And I respect a lady when she tells me she'd like to be my friend, I don't even try to read meanings to it, because truth is that it's a small world and nobody knows tomorrow. If i like the lady, I treat her like I was the one that initiated the whole thing, nothing changes, the only difference is that she asked me out. But the truth is that 90% of guys when a lady ask them out or ask to be their friend they take the lady on a ride and take her for granted and thinks she's a slut and even take advantage of her feelings for them.
So what I would advice is maybe you should just give it a try by asking to be his friend first and try not to let Your guard down as a lady you are. Even though you initiated anything, try not to stoop so low, hopefully he'll be an honorable and a gentleman to respect you and hopefully he'll be among the microscopic few who appreciate ladies asking them out.
Your comment will be visible after approval
Narrative 1. I was in your shoes...... Twice!!. First one, i had started dating him when i found out he was in a long term Relationship (9yrs) and when i confronted him, he claimed he Wanted to break it off with her but he wanted the break up to come from her so he won't be labelled evil. Torr! As me too no want curse ontop my head, i broke it off with him. 1year later they got married.
DeleteSecond one, found out he was in a relationship too. I broke it off, he broke up with his girl and he came back to me.
Eastwestern
What im saying is, let him go....if he is yours he would come back.
DeletePoster 2. There's nothing wrong with asking a guy for 'friendship'. But no gbenshing...friends with benefits doesn't work for females.
Eastwestern
Lol IHN logo on chronicle of narratives?
DeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Quicksilver; judgmental. You and Qutie dey confuse me with ya Qs
DeleteKai, no option for edit message. Its actually Oliversilk that confuses me. Quicksilver; Oliversilk.... I'm free and bored today. don't mind my plenty aproko.
DeleteLOL. Wickedness
DeleteWhat's the guarantee that his feelings for u won't fade at the end too......shine your eyes.
DeleteMiss gym, the way I see it u're friends already,don't be too forward....remember whatever you chase runs away.
Poster 1 pls put urself in that girls shoes, men r terrible something similar is happening to me. My bf jz started acting up a particular girl kips calling him up and down. N he claims there's nothing. I wonder d lies he would have told her. Buh truth is I committed him in2 the hands of God n told God 2 judge him 4 me. U know that girl is hurting already don't bring more pains to her.
DeleteStella U be witch? How can you just be speaking my mind like this? Same thing I wlda told poster1. Stella you smart, you loyal, i appreciate that. Oya post this comment.
DeleteLmao @ reply to 2nd poster. I live Stella chaiiiiiiii
DeletePoster 1, for that reason be gave for leaving his gf, If I were you, I wouldn't take him serious bcos that is not a valid reason. He sounds like a player to me o but be careful be very watchful. Players are smooth and always perfect that's why girls fall head over heels with them. Nothing is wrong with that babe trust me. Someone who is trying to exit a bad relationship is always willin to share whatever it is that's makin him/her quit no matter how painful it is...but it's all on you, if u want to take ur chances, that's fine, afterall nothing in this life is absolute. Best wishes
DeleteAbeg poster 1, what's with the sudden concern about the other lady? Is she your friend? Why not face the man and allow him end his thing with her however way he chooses? Or are u trying to test ur popularity by having him answer to the.. "who's the fairest of them all" ....fairlytale issh??
DeleteYou are indirectly putting him under emotional duress to end it with her abruptly or stand the risk of losing you. People may say men like to have their cake and have it, but in this case I do not think that you are being fair.
Truth is most times, there would always be a person dating a man before he meets another person, imagine what it would look like if every new chic decides to play "holier than thou" by forming concern for the about to be dropped chic.. it would be super messy. It would be considered snatching ONLY if she was ur friend, or if it was u that approached d dude for a date.
He is a man, let him sort himself out. Playing the devil's advocate so that he'll think u are being considerate of another woman whom u do not know, may end up making u lose the man. There are times that we have to be selfish, and this is one of such times.
Unless u have other reasons why u would want to discontinue ur relationship with him, I suggest that u mind ur business and face the man. After all u testify to the cold communication btw them, pointing to the fact that he's truly done with her..so what do u want again Madame?
If u leave him, it doesn't mean that he'll continue with the other lady. You'll be shocked that he'll meet someone else and marry her, and it would be a loss for u. The only thing u should be worried about is whether he genuinely loves u...and that he's not on to u because u live abroad. Other than scrutinizing these facts, I say turn a blind eye to the ex on her way out.
Strictly my opinion. Ok bye
To everyone saying they are desperate ...we are all humans ...heaven helps those who help them self ...to the two darlings ....just a trial and if you are convinced they arent worth it ...let go atleast when you look back ...you would be glad ..you tried and no regrets ...my one cent
Deleteposter 1,
ReplyDeleteStart considering him but don't give him sex yet....
Who knows,he might be genuine but you have to be extremely careful...use your head not your heart....
Poster 2,
There is nothing wrong in telling someone how you feel about him...
It's only here in Naija that I see girls pretending when they see a guy they like...
If na me sef,I don't grab him teh teh...dey there dey do Anya ura...
You are a very nad girl .lol
DeletePoster 1 like Anty SDK has said, till all the loops and blanks are filled, I dotted, T crossed, please tie your legs like a mermaid, send your heart to an island, Cayman or Nicaragua...lol, then use your head completely...
DeleteAlso hiding your identity wdt change anything, if you say he is smart and intelligent, he would know you're poster one... except he is extremely dumb.. shikena
Poster 2, gone are those days, you like him, you don't have to go the nine yards asking out thingy, just ask him to dinner or movies or ice cream *shegrins
*ticktock
P2,before you ask him out,check his thumb. U know Na.
DeleteP1,check his thumb too. I hope the bae is not leaving him cos of his thumb o.
Poster 1, he is a cheat/flirt. That's the story they give. What makes you feel he won't treat you this same way after dating him for 1, 2 years? Me sef tire for men wahala. I recently visited lagos and met a guy through an older friend. Imagine him saying he wants to marry me suddenly like that, yet in his house I saw female shoes and clothing. He said it's the girl he wants to break up with. I searched him on fb and found out that he had done his traditional marriage last year march. So be careful my dear, men these days want 'chop clean mouth'
ReplyDelete*sigh*....this life sef. must we marry? I am tired really. I wish...it's well *sigh*
DeleteYes oh. Our society makes it a must. Besides, it's a woman's nature too. We want to nurture and care for our own homes.
DeleteFirst poster like Stella kork said.. Tie ur legs like a mermaid.. That one doesn't seem responsible.. How can somebody just fall out of love like dt.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 plz before u "chook" head, make absolute sure the guy isn't married or in a serious relationship. If he's not coming on to u...don't u think there could be a reason? Personally I think u shud let him do d asking...to avoid stories like "I didn't know I was d side chic" " I didn't know he was married " na u wan go find am now oh... That "just friends " thing hardly ever works. In conclusion, let him come to u! Even if he does, investigate! My 2 cents.Btw stella why did u use IHN logo ehn.
Poster 1......Dey dia dey blow stupid grammar..By d time u loose dis guy u will come back here looking for husband...Whats so special about abroad? Most of u dat lives in diaspora don have shishi..I know of a nurse in canada my bros was sending money for house rent..Come down from ur high horse and give dis guy a chance...Na over sabi make angelina come reach 50yrs for papa house..
ReplyDeletePoster 2...Dis one body dey sweet u cos u see fine boy for gym..Hope say no be my husband cos he visits gym too..If i catch u eh,ur body go hear am..Una no dey take eyes see fine guys..If u dare ask d guy out,he will fuck u and dump u kia kia..Are u related to Jayne Akuh dat once asked for Kehinde Ake's number on dis blog? Ashawo Alert!!
#YourFrustrationLivesOnSdkBouncer*
*PrayerForAuntyGwegwegweSdkBouncerToFindaHusband x10 daily*
You are mad somebody, with your igbotic looking husband
DeleteChoi.....
DeletePoster one grab him with two hands and hold him tight u are still checking and cross checking..
DeletePoster 2 go down and read what Ezenwanyi said.. Good luck to you too..
Chizoba i'm not SDK bouncer but i'm worried abt u! Are u mad? Bcos no sane person insults someone abt issues dat dey can't control. Are u God? Do u know 2moro? What if ur husband and son die 2moro? I don't get it!.. y will u talk as tho u own ur breathe? U're not only ugly and ngbekeish; now u hate wat u think u love so much, cos if u love ur husband and son u won't open ur filthy mouth to insult someone who doesn't av one. Smh! In a nutshell; u're senseless and I pray u learn d hard way! Asi!!
DeleteLol.
DeleteChizoba you are a case.
Biko let your fine hubby rest for this blog.
Lmao madam chizzy madam chizzy
DeleteThis is wrong! Do NOT mock SDK Bouncer because you are not God. Marriage is not the ultimate ( I am also married) but the last thing I will do will be to mock someone because of her marital status........ well, maybe it's because I ve got more brainz than you or maybe itz because you are just toooooo dumb to see how wrong this crap you just wrote ( both to Poster 1 n' 2) is.
DeleteIt's like this your marriage is your only achievement in life. Just dey make noise up and down.
DeletePoster one: er1 makes mistakes! U don't live on mere assumptions or by wat ppl say! Follow ur heart if it says go for it den "get on with it sister! " I read ur story and I see a difference. hv u not heard of stories wher a guy dates a girl for 5yrs buh marries a girl he just met..? N not saying.... buh how will u know if u don't loosen up n let ur heart speak! Wish u all the best love! Note: nothing in life comes easy, we take risks to yield result.
DeletePoster two: you r lusting after d guy! Living in mere fantasies!! Wake up! How will u feel if he tells u no?! Plus he might say yes n u find a fault n want out! Initiate the act of friendship.. start from there... :)
Lastly: wen u insult ppl to hurt their feelings, those ppl will one fight back!
Are u sure it wasn't the nurse sending your brother money?
DeletePoster 1 -
ReplyDeleteYou dey on your own oh is complicated .
Poster 2
Invite him out , drink ,beach ,clubbing and keep him gazing .sometimes this things flow naturally ,i cant remember my man toasting me ,it just happened ,18 years and still counting
N1
ReplyDeleteSeems ur mind is made up!
He will screw u n wen u go back overseas,
He willl continue with his gf or with a new girl.
U can try ur luck,
But don't waste ur time.
N2
Feel free n make dfirst move,
Me I can't, it takes guts to ask a man out.
Expect to be fucked n dumped,
Or fucked n kept.
Chances are,he might be in a relationship,or not.
Goodluck.
Stell Korkus, what's with you and this dog?
ReplyDeleteI'm with Stella's school of thought on this One!
DeletePoster 2: try and initiate more personal conversation with him. Find out all you can about him before making any bold step. If you don't, it might end up sad for you.
ReplyDeletePoster one: how sure are u dat he won't leave u for anoda wen d love fades......guys can look for silly reasons...to break up with a gal....and most of dem shifts d blame to d gals....for me I will advice u to b cautious ohhhhh....and don't get too attached to him....incase he decides to break ur hrt...cuz d heart of men is unpredictable
ReplyDeletePoster two: dere are guys u will ask out dat won't see anything dere and dere are dose dat u will ask out dat u will paint u as a cheap gal....and won't take u seriously....so I will advice dat u play clamp and look for a way to get close to him...maybe intiate conversations with him...
Chronicles with ihn logo lol stella that side eyes is for u
ReplyDeleteLet me try this tying of legs thingy, looool. This blog sweet die!
ReplyDelete@1, I don't know what to advice u just follow ur heart cos u know him better than I do.
ReplyDelete@2, don't just ask him out straight, use style style to chat him up anytime u c him, then stylishly tell him u are bored, but on a second thought, if d guy does not ve any interest in u just let him be cos, it could be that he has a serious relationship, save ursef future heart break abeg.
NO 1, U are a very "nice" person as to care about d feelings of d other person... I think U are here to know if he's playing U or not.
ReplyDeleteWell... he's marrying because U're in Abroad, maybe a citizen, etc etc..... I see an accident waiting to happen, are U planning to relocate, or send for him to live with U there???? What does he do??? Is there work for him in d competitive work market??? Are there no men over there?????
Ok bye.
NO 2, I know those type of guys, and women love them to bits and don't be surprised that he has chop many women's kpekus there and U are d next person to offer to free to him again.
He notices, and he knows U want him and he also knows it's just a question bof time before he knacks U.....
To land that kinda of guy and Ve him propose to U, ignore him because Ur type bore him, behave d way he does, face Ur business there and go Ur way.....
...go to his car, find out if he's someone that like reading, get a rare book in that genre, read and bring Ur book to d gym... if he's into newpapers, buy Urs ..... trust me he would approach U and then take it over from there... and finally, I might help U bed him incase U wanna find out if he's good in d sack... there is no type of man I can't get and it's not a boast!!!
I dont know why i love u
DeleteI like you Ezenwanyi,nice one
DeleteLike dis concept, it's really a good idea
DeleteEzemoni making sense in matters like this since 1200AD........
DeleteLmao ezenwanyi has killed me with laughter
DeleteYou talk small sense today. Keep it up
DeleteYou talk small sense today. Keep it up
DeleteToo much love EZEWANYI darling
DeleteOh my....
DeleteLol @ there's no type of man I can't get.
Chai.
Chai,ezenwanyi the all knowing,the all seeing.I wish to have ur wisdom when I grow up
DeleteThis woman na correct Whore(ur title) I mean well.
DeleteSound tips.
Love me some enzenwanyi
DeleteHahaha Ezenwanyi! I love and dislike you at the same time.... Can't explain
DeleteThanks guys##
DeleteI am getting emotional, but don't get used to this Ezenwanyi ooo....
Bwahahahaha.....
**Wipes a tear off my very beautiful face**
I guess you do anal sex with all your guys because that's what keeps them.
DeleteEzenwanyi has always made sense
DeleteNow I love ur summary for narrative #2. Esp where u said that he already knows that she likes him. And also, that women her type bore men like him. Absolutely spot on.
DeleteEwooo by the way, Ezenwanyi, u sef don join people wey dey say "in abroad"...Ahah biko ... I know ur English is impeccable. This is soooo NOT u. Bet this is a joke abi?
Delete**runs away**
@POSTER 1
ReplyDeletewhere abroad are you ?single guy here looking for you drop your contact if you dont want him
This mermaid talk sounds funny some times.
ReplyDelete1. I think you should be careful with how you allow your heart fall for him. In short, close your heart right now towards him and be sure of what lies ahead. Don't be too emotionally attached to him so you can thinks straight and be able to take some real decisions when the need arise. I'm not always cool with a man leaving his girl because of me. What if he also finds a reason to leave someday for someone else? Be watchful dear.
2. If you have his number or pin, you can start by chatting with him on bbm or whatsapp. I guess from there, things will fall in place. you can politely request for it just to check on him whenever you don't see him at the gym.
She doesn't have any of those #2... that is why she writes in, to ask if it's a good idea to approach him for his details.
DeleteTo which I say a very big NO!!!!
The kind of advise Stellakor give sometimes! Three of my birds just died from these advise.
ReplyDelete..
....
......
........
..........
..............
...................
.......................
...........................
................................
.....................................
...........................................
Stella Kork, give us IHN by 1:00pm dot.
Stella Kork, return IHN to 1:00pm dot.
Lmao, I swear. Stella mama
DeleteKikikikiki..see protest oh..Stella u don hear am..
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteYour boyfriend is in a relationship with that girl.They love each other,pls step aside or else you will remain his side chick until he gets tired of you!
That guy can lie sha!
Poster 2
Pls respect yourself,that man might just like you(as a friend) and nothing else,pls stop being desperate.If he really wants you,you will see the signs.Am sure whenever you see him,you get wet...horny girl!
Lmao @ horny girl.. SDKbvs though
DeletePink lady, regarding poster 1, I don't agree jor. She's not a side chic. She's his new "catch', the fresher babe....while the ex is about to be excommunicated. My problem with her is she's not facing her front. Lol
DeletePoster 1 abeg free that guy for now. He is just a line user:
ReplyDeleteLine 1, i wanted to sleep with you but fell in love. He just wants you to be emotionallly attached to him.
Line 2, my girl and i are breaking up. He is after your money. why break up with her for no reason.
Pls the guy is a cheat jare.
Poster 2, Pls dont mind stella o, this is not Germani o. Just continue to be polite to him and greet him whenever you see. Dont let your eotions get a better part of you. If he likes you no matter how reserved he is, he will show it. Dont force yourself on him so you wont bring another chronicle here.
Thank you for this last paragraph. Poster 2, if a guy likes you, he will at least show it, even if he is the shy type. You need to see it in him first b4 making a move. If he ignores you totally, please face front and do as if you didn't notice him too.
DeleteWhenever he approaches you, be polite and smile, try make the discussion longer a bit, find out if you have anything in common. Don't over-do it sha.
Be it in mind that it's not everybody you are attracted to, that will feel same way about you. Think of all dos guys that approached you, and u turned dem down. Life goes on, my dear. This guy may not want more dan a f/ship, he may not be a good guy, may not be ur type; or if he is, he may be off market.
Also I think he should ask for your number first, not you. There is something about being wooed by a guy. I wish you all the best.
Busy right now,BRB to read chronicles of blog visitor!!!
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1 .... you are outside the country .. try and look for another boo but still be friend with him and get your plan b ready.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2 .... dont ask him out but try and be more friendly with him. interract well before he sees you as desperate girl and take advantage of your likeness.
some men are shy so they might want you to do the talking.... start with how is your family, how is everything, hope you are enjoying the gym am sure from there he will loosen up.
goodluck to both of you narrator 1 and 2
Narrative one.....give me a chance and enter "one chance"
ReplyDeleteNarrative two..... Do what's on ur mind
@Galore
Poster 2 I FEEL UR YARNINGS ABEG LEAVE THAT NAIJA OLD DUBIOUS MENTALITY JARE AND HIT UP DA GUY LET HIM BOSKALA YOU JARE
ReplyDeleteWISH NA ME A BABE JUST DECLEARE AND SURRENDER FOR LIKE THIS WE FOR GO VERY LONG WAY
ANYWAY TRY HIM OUT WITH STYLE DONT MISS THIS CHANCE IF MOSES SHY ENOUGH OR REFUSE TO MEET MARRY ABEG MAKE MARRY SEF KARRY HER MARKET GO MOSES HOUSE
FIGHT NO DEY DIA
SOME STUPID LADY STILL WAITING FOR MAN TO KNOCK AT DIA DOOR OR RUN AFTER EM
LIFE DON CHANGE BABE JUST GO FOR IT
YOU ARE A TOUT.
DeleteEwwwww! Ladies don't learn their lessons until they get burnt. choi...
ReplyDelete#poster1 plz mind your track plz, cus I don't like d sound of ur story! Men re soo trickish and they sound too good 2 be true, beware! He has so many hidden truth and I swear u wil not like when its told. Give ur self time, except u wanna play! Bc u wil get tired of tracking him and finally backoff. N he wil move on to d next woman standing.,,,,,,,,,#2 if u really like him 4 friendship, his re-appearance is a good chance too ask 4 his contact#like re u on BB, wasapp,social media tinz# mind u he might be waiting for dat request! Players does not carry placard around oooo# I just hope u wil be able to hold ground when he begin to open up# HE KNOWS U RE LIKING HIM
ReplyDeleteDo not feel special just yet.people cheat after marriage and it's even more painful.if he says he's through with his ex talk to his ex if u can.because believe me u may be in de same shoes in the nearest future.dont be in a hurry.tgings can get nasty real fast and u'l find urself saying had I known.in my case I was de ex.he left someone for me and left me for someone whom he married,then came back to me to cheat on her,wen it didn't work he found someone else.he is still married but the wife knows he has a girlfriend.she has four kids,he has money,she can't leave.wen we see(de world is a small place),she stares at me as if to say "woman,u are lucky".i got married after years of hrt break,my husband has cheated too but not in my face and he was really sorry abt it.but him,de same way he told me he was getting married and ders nothing I can do abt it,is de same way he told his wife to stay and manage or hit de road!karma.
ReplyDeleteMba Mba...Why should she contact his ex? Doing so may even make the ex relentless and she will all of a sudden put up a fight if she knows that another babe is involved. Truth is the guy may have lost interest in her before meeting with this poster. End of the day she'll be blamed for a relationship that had hit the rocks before she appeared the scene. Let her face her own struggle if she likes the guy, if not she should free him jare.
DeleteOK bye bye. E don do for this matter.
Lol @ tieing leg lyk mermaid, stella answered u both well so nutin 2 say here.
ReplyDelete*Just passing by*
ReplyDeleteMy dear, ask him out. Just be cool and calm. Tell him that you like him and if he doesn't mind that you'd like to take him out for a drink. Even if he says he is married or engaged. Just still insist on the drink so it won't look like you lost. I asked a ma man out recently for the first time in my life and it wasn't bad at all. Even if e no work, just laugh it off. Poster one..these man ain't loyal.
ReplyDeleteAND. Before someone reads me wrongly, I do not support husband snatching, there's nothing wrong with taking him out and backing off.
DeleteTaking him out and backing off ke?? My dear , that's where it usually starts o...Most people don't set out to cheat...its circumstances like 'taking him out' that sets the stage....
DeleteLol, Stella's advice to the first narrative sha.. Everyone is someone's ex abeg. Let him break up with his babe first before you get into any relationship with him. If he's a good guy and you like him enough, why not.. But like I said, he should do the needful first. Put into consideration distance aswell... Is it what you both wanna get into?
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: exchange phone numbers and take it from there. Don't sound desperate though, get to know him outside of the gym and who knows, your crush might develop into something worth it. For now it's just a crush and you can't just want to get romantically involved without even knowing him. No dinner yet though, at least don't ask him out to dinner yet.
N1- Stella why Advice her to tie her Legs na, she should Open her legs ASAP and win over the Guy sharply, that's the Secrete ooo.. #SideEye
ReplyDeleteN2- WHO says A man must always propose first? If you as the lady ask him out on a date and you eventually marry him, does it matter who asked who first?
Mind you, I've never seen a mature sensible man turn down a gorgeous, hot, sexy, intelligent and caring lady. Don't keep wasting your time; if you like him, ask him, don't just ask God, ask him too, stop over spiritualizing common sense matters..
Remember, our world today has become very complex and dynamic, Things are changing pretty fast, methods are frequently modified and ideas and superior thinking carry each day. Good luck Dear..
.
.
.
.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
Can we get chronicles from men small nah...women wahala getting too much!
ReplyDeleteP2, its too early. Some guys are just naturally nice. Try to engage in more longer convo with him so u can get info like his r/ship status and what he does, then u can start by telling him u dnt really know much people and wouldn't mind being his frnd. If u toast him outright, he might think its just sex so unless that's what u want, trend with caution.
P1, u can try to get the gf contact and talk to her. You can say d guy is trying to date ur frnd and u want to confirm some things frm her or better still, ask some amebo frnds of his or the girl who introduced u both
Poster 1: They guy is not being true to himself,you and his babe.Better to take a step back and see how things go.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Allow the friendship to develop at its own pace,don't rush it yet by asking him out.
Let me read comments. Not in the right frame of mind to give advice biko.
ReplyDeletePoster2 if you like the guy am sure you can ask him out.
ReplyDeleteGet novels for FREE
Visit cynthiakalubookclub.blogspot.com
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1--ure truly on a loooooong tin,its obvoius the guy z playing smart on you,he wud hav done away with that babe if he truly want cos their umblical cords aint tied 2geda,the guy z a confused person who tryna use a stone 2 kill two birds (both U and the said EX). so say NO to his cock and bull stories,weda he intro you to his family and ancestors,hw wud stil dump you if he chooses to.....poster,neva put urself in a postion wre u'd be termed the ''REBOUND gurl''...mke u shine ya eyes..
Poster2---just be urself and invite him 4 a drink...are u sure u want him 4 frndship alone??--(sideeyes) ...
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
@ postal 1...i jst finish reading ur story wit d lil understanding nd xperience ....i ll advice u give him a chance ....going thru his phone all d tym is not wise 4 ur safety...but note b wise by not giving him all(sex)cos most of dem dats wat dey re looking 4 not relationship....u might b d 1 hes looking 4, last 2 years i tackle an issue similar 2 dis...my frd walk up 2 me telling me how a frd match make her wit a broda in da frd office dat she is scared of going in....and some group of frds advice her not 2 welcome d relationship dat d guy is a cheat...i jst askd her some few questns...if she has met any girl in his hux while visiting she said no....is he d kind of guy u want she said yes....i simply told her build ur relationship in trust sometyx u might kw hes lying make him kw u re jst taking his word.....2 cut d long story short dey got married few months after...d testimony of dat family is a success tori94yrs in marriage no issue,d last gift she received 4rm d husband last year was a car) she all most let go....so in a nut shell give him a chance mayb hes giving u a chance 2 u might not kw
ReplyDeleteTrying to read what you wrote the 2nd time.
DeleteTHELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1--ure truly on a loooooong tin,its obvoius the guy z playing smart on you,he wud hav done away with that babe if he truly want cos their umblical cords aint tied 2geda,the guy z a confused person who tryna use a stone 2 kill two birds (both U and the said EX). so say NO to his cock and bull stories,weda he intro you to his family and ancestors,hw wud stil dump you if he chooses to.....poster,neva put urself in a postion wre u'd be termed the ''REBOUND gurl''...mke u shine ya eyes..
Poster2---just be urself and invite him 4 a drink...are u sure u want him 4 frndship alone??--(sideeyes) ...
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1--ure truly on a loooooong tin,its obvoius the guy z playing smart on you,he wud hav done away with that babe if he truly want cos their umblical cords aint tied 2geda,the guy z a confused person who tryna use a stone 2 kill two birds (both U and the said EX). so say NO to his cock and bull stories,weda he intro you to his family and ancestors,hw wud stil dump you if he chooses to.....poster,neva put urself in a postion wre u'd be termed the ''REBOUND gurl''...mke u shine ya eyes..
Poster2---just be urself and invite him 4 a drink...are u sure u want him 4 frndship alone??--(sideeyes) ...
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1--ure truly on a loooooong tin,its obvoius the guy z playing smart on you,he wud hav done away with that babe if he truly want cos their umblical cords aint tied 2geda,the guy z a confused person who tryna use a stone 2 kill two birds (both U and the said EX). so say NO to his cock and bull stories,weda he intro you to his family and ancestors,hw wud stil dump you if he chooses to.....poster,neva put urself in a postion wre u'd be termed the ''REBOUND gurl''...mke u shine ya eyes..
Poster2---just be urself and invite him 4 a drink...are u sure u want him 4 frndship alone??--(sideeyes) ...
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
Poster 1, men and the games they play. You're not even living in the same country, which makes it harder to ascertain if he is being honest with you. Abeg, quick question - Are single men unavailable where you are? Abeg, find one in that country and leave this one dilly dallying alone. Poster 2, that naija mentality is so damn annoying. He may be shy or he could even be in a relationship. Men can be very funny.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: dunnno wat to say o. Just be careful. Trying to leave his babe and he already has feelings 4 u? R u sure he won't leave u too when he starts having feelings for another girl?
ReplyDeletePoster 2: approve him with style. Haba! You r a girl nau, just look 4 wat to say and get his contact and from there u should be able to play ur card well...
Poster 2 next time u get a chance to talk to him, ask him if he's married and if he says no and asks why, tell him its because u think he's cute. If he's interested, I bet u, he will take things up from there.
ReplyDeletePlease don't do this!
DeleteP1...Sit there and let a man play you. He said you should help him get over her. Are you silly? A man,will use you ho ha as his rebound and his good job is blinding your eyes?. Please love yourself enough to make sure he properly gets over his woman. You are currently helping,him cheat and since he is evil enough not to discuss his womans shortcomings with her, get ready for the same.
ReplyDeleteP2...Ask him to help you with some exercises. You dont have to be outrightly asking him out, just become his friend and give him the green light. This na Naija, some of these guys will just take you as a loose person and sleep with you and dump you. Also slow your roll dear, he might have a wife
Poster 1,follow ur head like Stella said.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, Stella said invite him to dinner,dat one me I don't know ooo.stella is German, it seems she has forgotten how to be a Nigerian. I don't live in naija at the moment but I am sure I am more Nigerian than she is. Well if d guy is exposed and sensible,he wouldn't read any meaning into d whole dinner thing,as for me why don't u create opportunities for u guys to talk better once in a while in the gym(u know now) before d dinner.that way,u might be able to gauge wt type of person he is and if he wud consider d dinner as sex invitation
"Offcourse!" Lmao
ReplyDeleteP1: you can only run run pass Terry G...he's just an opportunist.
P2: I hope he's not Toyin Lawal o. Lol. Hmmm...invite him on a date. #Fastforward...If you must have a mindblowing sex with him, don't get careless! I see your hormones are hyper. "Just friends" looool.
Poster 1, let him get his acts together before you invest your emotions in him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, flash him the green signs.
He's sure to get it unless he is the extremely shy type.
Compliment his abs while working out him.
Place yourself strategically where he's sure to find you appealing in the gym.
Make small talks with him but don't be too overbearing.
He might probably like you (or not).
Get his phone number, already.
I really think inviting him to dinner is too far fetched.
Be careful. Or you might end up being emotionally duped.
All in all, just chill.
Poster 1 he's leaving the ist girl, bcos of you na "omo abroad"....Boys always look for where to hang on to like parasites.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 :Lol ask for phone no joor, no strings attached, you guys can be friends no sex attached!!!Tie your legs people, tie it!!
Poster 1:
ReplyDeleteFace the guy and assess him strictly on your criteria/terms. Does he measure up? Do your investigation and confirm he's sincere with you. Give him an ultimatum. If he wants to be with you, he must severe all ties with the other girl.
Please mind your own business. Your concern now is to get evidence that he has left the other girl. Do you want to force him to be with a woman he doesn't want to be with?
You can't come between 2 people? Where will you find one person?
There is no single man out there.
He must leave a woman to create vacancy for you. That's how it works. Why are you ccrying more than the bereaved?
2:
You missed him?
You singled him out from Gym because he seems unavailable.
Again my mantra: Unavailable guys are so attractive to single women.
Don't kid yourself about wanting him for a friend, you are looking for a rebound. Hoping the friendship will translate into something serious.
You are vulnerable now and it will be so easy for the guy to "chop you and run" if you give him the green light.
An average Nigerian man is always on the look out. If this one is not surveying the territory and has not shown interest in you, he is not interested. Respect yourself and continue searching in a dignified manner.
Make friends and start going out to events to meet people.
Unavailable guys are sooooooo attractive!!!!!! Especially when they are married. Thoughts that go through a single womans head: wow he looks so young and is married.. He must be rich..a woman agreed to marry him, then there's definitely something wonderful about him..im sure he can take good care of women..i wonder if his wife is beautiful /slim... I wonder if im more beautiful than his wife... What does she have that i don't have... Lemme see if he would look my way.
DeleteEastwestern
Unavailable guys are attractive to single" means he is married!
DeleteNot hard to know the married one.
@Goldscent ..That your mantra is so true!! Smh
DeleteEveryone seems to be gold digging and grinding these days male and female ** phew**
@poster 1 and 2 best of luck !! This page is filled with sensible advise already ! Ciao
Poster one: I dont like guys who wants to jump to another girl without cleaning up their mees in a previous relationship, dont trust dat guy too quickly.
ReplyDeletePoster two: I know that feeling, I have that naija mentality too and I would say dont ask him, just give him green light, be a little caring to him, if the feeling is mutual, he would definitely ask you out. Goodluck
Okay dearest BVs, i am down on my kneels, I usually do not do things like this but I cant help myself any more, my family needs help especially my dad. things are very hard for us we can barely afford 3 square meal, my dad is very sick and jobless (he looks so thin and old and a result of the sickness and hardship) yesterday, my dad came home sweating and panting, if he sits for a long time, his legs swells (I dont know what causes that) we do not have money for hospital and I am scared of what my happened next. I have sent a mail to Stella and she said she is concentrated on helping students now which is very understandable. Please Blog fam, help us, I am the first child and I feel like a loser for not being able to do anything. I hope Stella publishes my comment and well meaning BV will reach out. i can provide any evident necessary. i beg you in God name. Thank you and God bless.
Poster 2 if you are single and his single I see no harm in it. Go for what you want. like Stella suggested go on a dinner date with him, from there you guys can get to know each other and the rest will be history. Ladies we must not wait for a Man to ask you out first However the is no harm in trial. its a two thing. Either I have a Gf or Not ** Singles, * Divorcee * Widow* * Married Women cover up you are taken*
ReplyDeletePoster one: I dont like guys who wants to jump to another girl without cleaning up their mees in a previous relationship, dont trust dat guy too quickly.
ReplyDeletePoster two: I know that feeling, I have that naija mentality too and I would say dont ask him, just give him green light, be a little caring to him, if the feeling is mutual, he would definitely ask you out. Goodluck
Okay dearest BVs, i am down on my kneels, I usually do not do things like this but I cant help myself any more, my family needs help especially my dad. things are very hard for us we can barely afford 3 square meal, my dad is very sick and jobless (he looks so thin and old and a result of the sickness and hardship) yesterday, my dad came home sweating and panting, if he sits for a long time, his legs swells (I dont know what causes that) we do not have money for hospital and I am scared of what my happened next. I have sent a mail to Stella and she said she is concentrated on helping students now which is very understandable. Please Blog fam, help us, I am the first child and I feel like a loser for not being able to do anything. I hope Stella publishes my comment and well meaning BV will reach out. i can provide any evident necessary. i beg you in God name. Thank you and God bless.
@poster1 : use your senses, dis men aren't loyal.
ReplyDeleteMake sure he is fully free from d other lady before you put head. I hope he isn't taking advantage of the fact that u stay abroad??? Is not only women are gold diggers.
@poster2 :try your luck
But I don't support that school of taught.
You should have your pride as a woman. M
Good luck
Poster1 sincerely this kind of rship rarely works out because he still will always have her in mind and you guys are not in d same country too. Just have him as just a friend while looking out for other opportunities outside him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 this guy might already be married or even have someone serious. Just start out by being his frnd first, let him make the move first otherwise face your gym work jare. Don't make d first move cos it may not end well, but what do I know?
Poster1 sincerely this kind of rship rarely works out because he still will always have her in mind and you guys are not in d same country too. Just have him as just a friend while looking out for other opportunities outside him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 this guy might already be married or even have someone serious. Just start out by being his frnd first, let him make the move first otherwise face your gym work jare. Don't make d first move cos it may not end well, but what do I know?
Na mammy water things sure pass ooo. All this girls of nowadays be spoiling market for some of us......Stella u must enjoy me
ReplyDelete@Chizoba Ibebuike lol... thanks for your advice Lady, but u harsh gan!!
ReplyDelete@Quiksilver trust me you got it all wrong. I'm not desperate
@Ezenwanyi Alusi he's not thinking of coming to europe and moreover with the kind of Job he's doing, he's got more chance in Naija than here in Europe. Men in Europe?? hmmm i think Aunty Stella can help me answer that question oo.
@Janethomas thanks dear...trust me, no sex cause i'm back to base.
@Golds Cent... Thanks dear..i thought about giving him conditions too, but i don't wanna be pushy. Still thinking about it though.
Lastly, Aunty Stella thanks for the advice.
Poster 2.. Madam gym, hope say nobody my husband?? Coz I go use dat ur "fuck'mate'frirndship" mouth do Esewu wit it for my village. Allah I swear..
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1- I've had similar experience while I was in college. The guy was a smooth operator and he had a gf in Ghana which I found out not to long in2 d r/ship. I confronted him and he admitted and started the usual,"but we are having issues." I turned in2 a counsellor and asked what the issue was and finally advised him, "sweetie, go and fix ur broken r/ship and 4get about me." I did that bcuz I know the rate @ wch guys lie to get something when they want it with a sorry face! Mtschew... Ignore the guy or beta still friend zone him! Narrative 2: don't even try it bcuz 90% of guys don't respect girls that make the 1st move.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
One: deprieve of sex nothing else
.
.
Two: just keep dying in silence and dont say any word to him finish......
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Poster 2.. Madam gym, hope say nobody my husband?? Coz I go use dat ur "fuck'mate'frirndship" mouth do Esewu wit it for my village. Allah I swear..
ReplyDeleteTie your legs?? What's so special between or inside those legs? What sort of childish advice is this one. Mind you lately men aren't that too moved with whatever that is inside those legs. To get me wrong when something is mutually done...I don't see why women should think they are doing men favour with whatever is inside or between an untied leg.
ReplyDeleteLol... Exactly! Ladies be feeling they r doing guys a big favor by sleeping with them! This ain't 1920s anymore! Sex is overrated these days.... You don't wanna do it, fine! The lady down the block is begging for it. If anything, a real responsible man cares about what lady have in her brains not between her legs which tons of other willing ladies have too! Sex is never a bargaining chip except to a lady that nothing to offer except sex only
Delete
ReplyDeletePoster 2; i have to ask you this;
is your gym in Lagos? if yes, where? i need to get to a gym badly!
Wise words for poster 2
ReplyDeleteWell, if I was poster 2 I'd just be there looking like a dunce. Observing. I am such a Naija babe. Then again, you start by asking him what he does for a living. There are MANY things you can discover by starting a conversation with 'what do u do?' But many of us don't know..... :)
ReplyDeletePoster 1, jst keep him in friend zoon 4 nw don't get serioz until he sorts him self out with the ex to be
ReplyDeleteAll d best dear gudluk to u
Poster 2 use ur woman power u ladies knw how u do it go close to him buh nt to close with tym he wil come around.
Poster 2
ReplyDeleteWhen you get to know him, you will discover he has series of babes in your shoe and he's not into any of them.
I knew one like that during my NYSC, alot of girls fell for him and he used them accordingly.
Girls will cook better food and send to him.
Some dashed him money(not small money oo).
When I told him it's not fair collecting all those stuffs and making them feel he is in a relationship with them, he said he can't reject the advances cos he'll break their heart.
Since he never asked any out then whoever that is not comfortable with it will go away.
God forgive me cos whenever I go for CDS(his house was close) I must branch and eat from babes delicacies.
Poster 1
What guarantees that he won't fall out of love with you after sometime?
Thread carefully sha.
Poster 1 pray and fast three days you get your answer. don't want to say much.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you also need to pray fast and honest to your self why you attracted to this guy and what you want.
Both of you need divine direction and honest with yourselves in the long run you will understand.
No hard to spot the single Ladies.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. I had a friend that asked a guy out in Naija. A week or two into the relationship things turned sour and it ended with her getting the beating of her life. In Nigeria, a man that is into you will go out his way to meet you, so pls wait until he makes the first move otherwise ...
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Adopt a siddon look approach. Don't commit yourself until the guy is fully out of the relationship. And like Stella mentioned, he may be the type that jumps from one relationship to another because he cannot be on his own at all. Beware of such men.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Yes, this is Nigeria but the country and its people are evolving. I would say find a way to ask if he's married or dating. If the answer is no, ask him out to lunch. There are lots of guys who like the boldness. If he has a major issue with you asking, i think you are better off not being friends with someone like that.
www.LoveDeyShackMe.blogspot.com
Poster 1 - I have been in this situation before, but I was the girl that was cheated on. I was young, but it was nonetheless hurtful and upsetting. What gave me comfort was the guy eventually ended up getting the other girl pregnant and marrying her (at least I can feel like I released him to his destiny), but all the same, at that time I wished he hadn't done that and I wished the other woman respected the sisterhood enough to tell him no and push him him to do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteanon this is exactly what happened to me in my first relationship. wow!!
DeleteAre you studying accounting in school and looking for a place to do your Industrial Attachment (IT) within lagos?
ReplyDeletePlease forward your IT letter and cv to chizobsmashing@gmail.com. On or before 20th march.
P2: lol, the gym guys! Onyebuchi and her friends are used to such guys. The ones that are hot! Don't ask him out for any reason whatsover! Don't! Except you're looking for what is not looking for you.My friends have PhDs in this area and trust me they did not like the course, Heheheheh. Infact a very close friend of mine,that's the technique he uses to get free sex. Always girls he met at the gym and initially they all say the same thing about him like you just did about this guy until they see. FYI, I'm don't even stay in Nig, so I can imagine how it would be there. Abeg face your workout.
ReplyDeleteAnd oh! I'm impressed. I love it when I hear about my fellow ladies that take the gym seriously. Anyways you should try the insanity workout videos. It in parts and you would love them.I hope you do cardio too, that's the way forward! Lol, I'm deviating. Okay, please don't ask him out. Continue the small talks but nothing more! Don't ever stop going to the gym!!! It's the best feeling when you're done working out!
Hahahahahahahha... Lately I've started having so much love for ezenwanyi!
ReplyDeleteFictitious or real, I love the characte!
wonderful
ReplyDelete#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE
Quiksilver,U wan kill me with laugh,desperate,desperate,them be twins? Good question.
ReplyDeleteDauda aliu,na true u talk oh,so funny d way u sounded,three birds died bcos of stelo advice,lol,touching.
Pink lady,horny girl,hahahahaah.
The first poster,biko leave that guy oh,too dramatic for my liking,guys don finish for the country wey u dey? Look for a heartbroken guy na,a free guy.
Poster two,hmmmm,guys different oh! U know naija wey u dey,shine ya eyes.
Quiksilver,U wan kill me with laugh,desperate,desperate,them be twins? Good question.
ReplyDeleteDauda aliu,na true u talk oh,so funny d way u sounded,three birds died bcos of stelo advice,lol,touching.
Pink lady,horny girl,hahahahaah.
The first poster,biko leave that guy oh,too dramatic for my liking,guys don finish for the country wey u dey? Look for a heartbroken guy na,a free guy.
Poster two,hmmmm,guys different oh! U know naija wey u dey,shine ya eyes.
Poster 1, just try anal sex with him. If he hits the spot and gets it right, go for him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, just ask him if he likes anal sex. If he does, go for it.
#1: Honey, I'm of the opinion that you should let him go. A long distance drama free relationship is challenging enough, imagine how emotionally draining it will be to cope with all this drama and uncertainties when you're in a different continent! Assuming but not conceding he breaks up with his girlfriend primarily because he doesn't love her anymore. Then you guys start your cross-country relationship, would you be able to trust him with so much distance between you both? Sweetie, please treat him like an option. Surely there are better offers out there, don't allow your emotions distort the facts. Does it mean he if decides to remain with his girl, you'll be "booless"? Com'on now!
ReplyDeleteSweetie, please don't be fooled. A player with good game can convince you that he actually sees the sunrise in your eyes...in your love induced stupor, you'll believe him. Guys use the "we" instead of "l" trick all the time to sweep ladies off their feet. Oh! He sees you as his future wife yet that fantasy doesn't motivate him to end his existing relationship? Really? Or he plans to "wife" you and keep his girl as his mistress? I won't be surprised if his relationship just hit a dry phase where anything new will be exciting. If he finds out that his girl actually had the spunk to move on to another guy, you'll be amazed at how fast the so called comatose love will be resuscitated! He may just want to use you to pass time. A gentleman with honest intentions would get his act together with his girl first before going into another relationship. You rarely see decent guys chain-date, they don't have one leg in an old relationship while the other leg is about to step into a new one. Breakups are inevitable but the way a guy or girl goes about it, speaks volumes about their character. Sweetie, perhaps you should keep this dude in the friend zone(that's if you really like him) and watch how things play out. Give it time, intentions are pregnancies, sooner or later something is gonna pop up!
#e-bearhugs.
P1,stay sharp with an open mind. Think with ur head,c with ur eyes. Give it sumtime,his true colors would b revealed.
ReplyDeleteP2,Feel free to walk up to him,U don't know a person by what people tell U,but by what e makes of himself to U.
#2: You naughty lil' chic! Lol! Your lips say no but your body moves in the opposite direction. Sweetie, clearly, you are sexually attracted to him and you wish he would man up and ask you out. If you wanted a platonic relationship, we wouldn't be reading your story now because you wouldn't put in much thought. You wouldn't even be shy to walk up to him and initiate a conversation. Your fear of rejection shows you care a lot about his perception of you. So now that we have we've gotten rid of the white elephant in the room, I'll give you my opinion.
ReplyDeletePoint of correction, my love, men are programmed to be hunters. It isn't a Nigerian thing, it is a testosterone thing. The difference is, Nigerian men and more culture oriented which leaves little room for a more liberal approach to love and relationships . There are millions of men (American, European, Asian, Australian, Antarctican and Oceanian) who would still be put off by a forward lady asking for their friendship. Same way some Nigerian men may not mind being asked out by a woman.
My candid advice will be let him make the 1st move. You've already given him at least 25 shades of "green light". Trust me, if a man wants you, he'll make the 1st move. However, there are very few unique exceptions. The minute you usurp a man's role to hunt, you are compromising your femininity. Don't you enjoy the thrill of being chased? Knowing that some hot guy out there is jumping through hoops just to get your attention. Why cut to the chase, when you probably would be the one jumping through hoops to keep his attention fixed on you when you guys start dating? Darling, please don't sacrifice your dignity on the altar of 6 packs. It will be nearly impossible for you not to lose control and fall head over heels in love with him so fast that you'll be at his mercy. Please don't even attempt the friends with benefits ish with him because you're already too deep emotionally and you'll get hurt and humiliated.
Have you stopped to consider why he smiles at you or acknowledges your subtle hints yet he maintains his distance? He could be married or be in a committed relationship (its highly unlikely a guy, that conscious of his body, would be unspoken for). He could be gay, he may only be trying to be nice and be ok with a hello-hi relationship. Too many variable, darling, I recommend you leave him be. Don't give the wrong impression, you never know where you may bump into him later in future. Be the princess you were created to be and allow men compete for your affection.
#e-bearhugs.
Ronalda!!! I love your comments. Always waiting to read. You are right. Men are hunters.
DeleteShe is attracted to his abs and co.
Be hailing yourself. Greene ko, burgundy ni. Na so rubbish name wen we nvr see before dey surface.
DeleteSpot on!!!
DeleteRONalda a billion likes...am smitten by you
ReplyDelete#no homo#
LMAO
ReplyDeleteRTFLMAO
THE FIRST COMMENT
QUICKSILVER
TOO DAMN FUNNY!
HAHAHAHAAHAHA
I'LL BE WATCHING OUT FOR YOUR COMMENTS FROM NOW
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Narrative 1: Desperate.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: theres nothing wrong my dear
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteLeave that guy. He is a manipulator. He'd string you along until you fall deep for him then you know what comes next. Pls don't set urself up for a major heartbreak.
Poster 2
I would never ask a guy out, not in a million years, maybe coz i'm naturally proud, but I'm also with the group that believe that men are the hunters. Just let your friendship develop naturally. Don't be in a rush. I agree with Chikito finalsay. If you ever get the opportunity to say more than hi, start with "what do you do", and let it go from there.
If you're an excellent conversationalist, you've got him there unless of course, he's already taken.
Goodluck