The Chronicles....hmmmm!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHO YOUR SPOUSE CHEATED WITH....
Dear Stella,
My name is Nkechi, I am a reader of your blog and I most times comment as anonymous. I read the chronicles of a blog reader for the first time yesterday and I saw all the comments about Snoop or don't snoop.
Like you I do not believe in snooping, I trust completely and close my eyes to phones, laptop, social media page etc. I believed he loved me and wont do anything to hurt me. but almost 4 weeks ago I asked my husband of 3 years if he has cheated on me and I was shocked that my always loving husband became defensive. I immediately told him that I forgive him but he should tell me who and when it happened and he asked me of what use is the information to me? He said she does not exist again and he is my husband not hers so what is my problem.
My sister I had to let go but for the past 4 weeks I have not been myself, I felt heartbroken, I have been crying secretly for the past weeks. Though I have forgiven him , the images of him f*****g another woman can not just get off my head. I have lost the trust I have for him, I now have the urge to start snooping, I still want to know who and when but do not know how to bring it up again because I know it will obviously lead to a fight I am not ready for.
Please my fellow readers am I wrong to ask this questions? Don't I deserve to know?
Thank you Stella for posting my story and I look forward to reading replies from my fellow blog readers.
Hmmmm,if i talk now.....
I leave this for #teamsnoop but i wont sign out without telling you to stop looking for trouble where there is none.when he cheated you didnt know,why do you want to know now?what if he is even pulling your legs?
HIAN......Ndi Nwanyi tire me!!!
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DIASPORAN AFFAIR
Hi Ms Stellakorks .... I hope you are good. I love your blog and am your number one fan, though i have never commented but believe am on your blog 24/7.
Its really taken a great deal of courage to send this to you, but i feel i need to hear from SDKers on this..maybe it will help make me see things more objectively.
I am a single mum of a cute boy... My ex and i parted ways like 3 yrs ago...
That is another story...but i do not want to elaborate on that but the union caused so much mental trauma and setbacks that i had to run back to my parents house...i am solely responsible for my son, as my ex chose to abandon him ....so since the break up, there had not been any contact, talk less of him taking care of his son.
Over a year ago i decided to move on...mainly because am in my late 30s and i dont want to go through life's journey alone and i know i have got so much love to give. There was someone who did try to date me before i got married...he was divorced then, with a son...but according to him, he was still trying to heal from the painful divorce then, he is based in the US...because he wasnt communicating as I thought he should, and also i didnt want anyone thinking he is in demand because he lives in the states, the relationship fizzled out. Then, I met my ex who i thought was a good man and i fell for him, pressured my family to accept him against their reservations, and married him.
Fast forward to today, i and the guy in the states kind of rekindled our relationship a little over a year ago...after talking things over...he is still unmarried and said he would would want to marry me if i give him the chance, but he is based there and i am here, so its not been easy, though hes talked about me relocating with my child, he came in some months back, had to introduce him to my mum so he can come to my house freely...and he told my mum his intentions. But the problem is this... Just like before he really doesnt communicate.Sometimes he may not call for 2 weeks...may not return messages... until i really demand he calls me...though he says its work. Even weekends... when things are a bit slow, i wont hear from him...when i try to ask about his plans pertaining to us...sometimes he is vague... sometimes he just says God is in control, lets see what happens...and i dont wanna appear like am pressuring him...which makes me sometimes wonder why he hadnt remarried before we reconnected.
Please Ms Stella, i need your advice, though i dont look it..because i have a great figure, i will be 37 this year...and i hope to have at least another child and hopefully settle down again with someone deserving...i also do have other guys who are interested but i field them off because i feel am committed to this guy, on the other hand, i dont know if in the end, the guy in question really wants to see this through.
Thank you for taking your time to read through my mail.God bless you.
Hmm you said he is divorced?please ask for his divorce certificate cos it sounds like you are dating a married man in the diaspora,the signs are all there oh.
#MY2CENTS
Make i read comments abeg.
anty Stella abeg shift for me make I siddon with u ...
ReplyDeleteChair no dey today. Where you want sit?
DeleteFirst of all.Stella,It is umu nwanyi not ndi nwanyi.Thank me latter
DeletePoster 1;you shouldnt have asked him that question in the first place.See what u have caused for yourself.Let the sleeping dog lie.Be a good wife and be happy.
DeletePoster 2:Stop driving away possible good suitor because of ur US based lover.Let the man the go so that u can give a chance another man
DeleteStella, I don't agree with ur opinion on the 1st toaster. Ur point of view on #teamnosnoop seems u are living in denial in ur own world!
DeletePoster 1, forgiveness isn't an easy thing. But since u chose to, free urself from the resentments ok? Secondly, he may be joking! Nonetheless, keep an eye on him...
Poster 2, ur man seem to be looking for a Nigerian wife. Probably having issues with abroad wife n lying he's divorced. Thread with caution to avoid heartbreak. God's ur strength.
Lmao at ask for His marriage certificate
DeleteThe totò eater is correct,it it didn't work the first time let it be,u don't owe him anything by refusing him,believe me he is not serious, also he has someone,a single guy who wants to marry u ,will be calling u not once but several times a day, men also cant do without a womans company wat do u think he is doin in them silent 2 weeks, iv meet his type they single only to u,find his friends check facebook, goodluck dont deprieve ur self plz
DeleteIf you snoop, be prepared to deal with your findings! Why would you ask a man if he has cheated on you? Most men would deny it anyway
DeletePoster* not toaster*
DeleteWhat you don't know cannot kill you,
DeleteP2, he's not serious, period!
Poster 1... Let the sleeping dog lie.
ReplyDeletePoster 2... That man is not telling you something. Open your eyes and waka!
Poster 1 Team snoop for life, u must have a strong heart oh, snoop once in a while, whatever u do remember that u own d man, not them so u can still use wisdom to talk things over
DeletePoster 2 I don't know why women block others because of one man, u r not married till u say I do, so keep ALL options open, overseas love is very hard, too many surprises, so face naija for ur peace of mind, I'm talking from experience, not even once
poster 2 Aunty stella just told you the truth. please do verify before you hurt your self.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 which one come be your own na? Mind your business and face your meat.
ReplyDeletePoster1.why will you ask your hubby such a question?you are just hurting your self.pls removed your mind from such and focus on your child.pls do not snoop..... Poster2.pls do your search very well about this yankee guy,the part you said he does not cummunicate sometimes like 2wks get me worried..good luck
ReplyDeleteKevin kevin. No wonder that anon said you speak Canadian English lol.
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteYou did nothing wrong by asking him...
The earlier you start snooping the better for you...
Poster 2,
You are in love with this guy cos he stays in the US...
Can't you give other people here in Naija a little chance???...
Why are you putting all your eggs in one basket??...
Naija women and obodo oyibo husband..
My dear life in abroad is not easy...some of them are suffering big time ohhh...
Forget those things you see on movies...
Life in abroad? Hian!! Linda Eze you would not come and go and kill person for this blog.
DeleteEastwestern
Your English always gives me a migrane. Gosh you are such a lousy dullard!!
DeleteQueen and boss of semi illitrates that's exactly what you are.
Pompous BITCH.
Poster1 u asked for it,now u knw,bring urself to forgive him,and warn him never to cheat again,stella she didn't snoop ohhh,d man jejely tell am,and woman don't forget to always pray for ur husband,poster2 there is a coma with ur oversea bobo,either he is married or sometin,ladies if u guy introduce u to his family or introduce himself to urs is a a no big deal ohhhh,ve seen many guys who do dat just d get gurls,so open ya eye well well
ReplyDelete********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*********
all this men abroad lie alot.be very careful.
ReplyDelete@poster1 :y do you still want to hurt yourself more by demanding 4 dat kind of information?
ReplyDeleteDo you want to make amala with the information?
Move on jare
@poster2 :i don't know what to say 2 u
God is really in control.
POSTER 1 AND MY FELLOW BVS.... SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNKNOWN.. YOU WERE DESPERATE TO KNOW BUT YOU WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER OR THE CONSEQUENCES. NOW, HE HAS TOLD YOU THE TRUTH, OF WHAT USE IS IT TO YOU??? WILL IT ADD TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT??? DID HE STOP LOVING YOU OR WAS HE ACTING FUNNY TILL YOU FOUND OUT??? IF NO, THEN WHY RAISE DUST WHERE YOU WERN'T SUPPOSED TO.. what do you expect us to tell you now? to pack out or unbreak your heart?? MY PEOPLE, SOMETIMES, ACT LIKE YOU'RE BLIND, AND SOMETIMES ACT LIKE YOU'RE DEAF FOR THINGS TO MOVE SMOOTHLY. SAVE YOURSELF THE STRESS AND TRAUMA.GET BUSY.. HAVE FUN WITH FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES. ENGAGE YOUR MIND IN OTHER POSITIVE THINGS. THIS ACTION WILL ONLY CAUSE DIS-TRUST AND EMOTIONAL TRAUMA. SORRY ALL THE SAME, BUT SAVE YOUR SELF OF SOME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. IF CAN'T HANDLE TRUTH, THEN AVOID IT. TRUTH IS ALWAYS BITTER. LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE NO OTHER PERSON EXISTS.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: YOUR MAN IS MARRIED
@1, tell yourself d truth, did u ever fu..k a married man while single, if yes, what's ur problem, its women like u who date different married men then when u marry u don't want another woman to look at ur husband, keep snooping u hear.
ReplyDelete@2, at ur age u should know that abroad husband no dey reign again, keep chasing other men away becos of american bobo, ur eye go soon clear, long throat.
Hey,abt 2wks ago,u came up prasing urself of how good and reserved u are.bt ds ur comment is kinda opp of d person u made me to believe few weeks ago.keep fooling urself.u are black bt wish to b white...by their words u shall know them
DeleteLwkm
DeletePaoster 1. You shouldn't have asked, but since uve done it at least he told you the truth which I know hurts like craze. Pls forget it and move on. Don't even try snooping cos that is the worst thing you can do to ur marriage. In as much as I am teamsnoop but that's when its necessary.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Please let that guy be, find someone who is worth it biko, this guy doesn't deserve ur time and that's it. Explore other options outside him you may find the best there.
Poster 1,what you see is what you get. Why do you want to know who he cheated with? It doesn't make any sense to me sha cos it wouldn't change the price of fish in the market. So let it go and build on how you can rekindle the love for your husband again, though it is not an easy something oh. After all, trouble sleep, yanga go wake am. Palaver na im follow you now. Poster 2: I go with Stella on this one.
ReplyDeletePoster1 be looking for trouble,where there are none goodluck to you
ReplyDeletePoster2 he is married and hiding it
N1, just allow sleeping dog lie. He may be pulling ur legs, he may be saying d truth bt just free him but guard urself incase d worst happens later. N2, dt man is married n only calls u wen his wife is out or not in site. Just move on, except u wanna write anoda chronicle.
ReplyDeletePoster #1
ReplyDeleteLeave matter for Matthias. If its in the past and he is currently not cheating, dont disturb your happiness. As you have forgiven him, please leave issues be.
Poster 1: This is exactly why they say, don't snoop. Things will never remain the same. Don't use ur own hands to scatter ur home. Forget it, at least u didnt know just like stella said. In this world it takes someone with the fear of God not to mess up.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: This is exactly what i am going through. The only difference is i am not married nor divorce. How u not speak with the person u r dating for days talkless of weeks. That is what is happening to me now. I have taken a long walk of no return. I don't wanna jump into anoda relationship especially now dt i av so many pple on my neck.
It is well.
While I am still reading IHN, Stella don post Chronicles, choi!!
ReplyDeletelemme read comments joor.
Please click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips
Nkechi
ReplyDeleteDrop it.
He fucked n tossed them away.
He will fuck again n toss.
He will continue fucking n tossing.
Unless u wanna give urself high BP,donot fight him over what has passed,dont break ur head over them.
N2...d signs r there o!
Be giving urself false hope!
He won't call for 2weeks or return messages,
N u r here wetting your pants over an aristo man!
*opens left eye for you*
Wise up
Don't be trapped with a time waster.
Poster 1- you can't even handle the news and you are going further to probe on who he did it with?
ReplyDeleteAbeg madam calm down!
Obviously you don't belong to our group #team snoop cos if you do, you would have snooped long ago and would have known that your husband cheated and with whom. At least you could have seen her pic, or her number or something.
Just So maintain your lane with stella. Ndi teamnosnoop. *rme*
Poster 2- it's either the man is very much married or hasn't been able to come out of the shell divorce threw him into. Snoop now! And save your fingers from typing another chronicle.
All the best to the both of you
Odiegwu....my husband says no FBI pass me....Hian....dat was how I snooped and saw d mssges he sent to an idiot....He has not stopped paying for dat....I reminded him of dat every 2 mths....I just forward d mssges back to him as a reminder dat I have not forgiven nor forgetten....Dat my husband with all his gra-gra and 'hardman' can fear me for Africa....He says I gat 50 shades of madness....Mtscheeew, Igbo men! You don't handle them with 'softhand' abeg.....Very important dat if u r married to an Igbo man, you must open-eye o, else ur hubby and his entire family go show u pepper.
DeleteMadam abeg park well 4 ur lane and don't generalise
DeletePoster 1, when trouble dey sleep yanga go wake am,na wetin e day find?palaver.you went lookin for palaver(trouble)and you found it..
ReplyDeleteSince you haven't always been holding and going through your husband's phone in the course of your marriage,if you go digging for dirt now,of course you'll end up having dirt on your nose..
Its best you have a heart to heart talk with him,tell your husband that you'd like to go through his phone,afterall what is yours is also his,and vice versa..
But I don't really understand this snooping of a thing,rather than snoop on your partner's phone can't you simply ask"can I go through your phone pls?"
For me I'd rather ask my partner to share his private details with me,than to go creeping around waiting to snoop..
Poster 2,the truth is unless you are able to travel to where he stays,you might just be chasing shadows..have a frank talk with him..
Ask him please? Dakota! I laugh in Swahili! And you think he will give it to her?
DeleteEspecially when he is cheating?
Anyman that has a password on his phone is cheating!
@Anon 19.09 your comment is on point
Delete@Poster2, I will advice you pray about the guy because distance relationship is not always easy and communication is always the major issue.
ReplyDeletePoster2, you are dating yourself plz move on , repeat after me; move on ! I have a boyfriend in d states nd we talk on his way to work nd back from work , we talk till I fall asleep, there is no free call app I don't have on my phone , he practically introduces me to all d free calls app, we do video calls everyday , wen I mean everyday I mean everyday so pls dat ur guy is a joker. Nonsense! I knw a lot of girls ur age dat do not have a child pls cool down .
ReplyDeleteI hope we are not dating same guy o
DeleteStella dear, ur advise is always supperb. U just ve d talent and wisdom......Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteNot always
DeleteAsslicker
DeletePoster one_snooping has its disadvantages..u have not snooped and you are crying already..when you snoop eh..the worst will happen..
ReplyDeletePoster2_hmm..try and find out if he is married..because he acts like a married man..that was how my ex traveld and got married to a white woman oo...male your findings and explore other options
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Receive sense!
sorry to break your heart darling, that guy isn't divorced, so pls run as fast as your legs can carry you abeg.you are better single than trying to make things work in your situationship. poster 1.pls forgive your husband and move on,why do you want to know who he fucked and when? trust me you dont want to know,it will hurt you move.
ReplyDeletep1---Kpele
ReplyDeletep2----Your man has a live in woman or he is married. You are coming off desperate. Go with your other suitors. He does not communicate,e tc and you are asking questions.
Poster one u asked for it and u got it ntooooooooi. Poster two shine ur eye
ReplyDeleteShut up! Why won't you tell her ntor when you are a useless mistress that had a baby for a married man! Mschewww. I blame her for trusting her husband. Who the hell trust a Nigerian man?
DeleteNot a love doctor..........stella u must enjoy me
ReplyDeleteP1: You are so inlove .What you dont know wont kill you,your heart is too fragile, as a married woman you have to develop a strong heart and know that in this institution a woman gat to be tough...Its painful knowing a husband cheats but have it that its in d nature of men to cheat but not with the mean ladies that will want to comand the man with artificial powers,pray with your husband and dont let the thought of cheating give you High blood pressure please. Forever is a long journey why start by cracking ur head with such negativity that will lead to depression.
ReplyDeleteP2: A lover that can stay 2days without calling ,it means there is something fishing...a loving heart yearn to talk to the other person no matter the distance.please be wise and know more about him cos hes not pure.
1. You said you've forgiven him, why not let it rest? I feel you shouldn't over flog this issue so you don't push him away which may create a wider gap between you both.
ReplyDelete2. I feel you should still leave your options of meeting other good men open since you aint sure of the one abroad. What if he's still married? That may even be the cause of him not calling you often. Wisdom is needed here dear
Poster one.....na so....men are not loyal....
ReplyDeletePoster two....Abeg marry am.....u don see big fish
@Galore
My dear no 1, You looked for trouble o
ReplyDeletecuriousity they say kills the cat
My advice, let it slide since u're not team snoop from day one, though I understand your pain....talk to your man and let him know IT HURTS
Poster 2...This man sounds like gobe to me o, are u sure he's not in naija to play away match
oya snoop atleast facebook is there, that way u'll know where u stand
P1. I'm guilty of wanting to know all details about anythng...but with dis situation, I tink it's best if u don't know who it is. Wat if it is ur bestfrnd? It will be easier to forgive a 'faceless' person, than sum1 u know. Pls try 2 let dis slide.
ReplyDeleteP2. Seems dis man is still married, if he isn't, I don't tink he wants 2 settle with u. Someone that is in love with you, will like 2 keep in touch EVERYDAY, because he is concerned abt ur welfare, irrespective of how busy he is...even if it's just an sms. Tupac is dead and still releasing songs. So he shldnt tell u, he can't text or call...SHIKENA
Madam poster 1- so Bcos he confessed u are crying? Are u nt d 1 dat asked 4 it? Ok if u c d woman wat wil u do 2 her? U'l jst hurt urslf more. U better pray 4 d better in ur marriage n stp looking 4 trouble wer der isn't. Oh well, na ur concern sha.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- plz dnt look or sound desperate, tak ur tym 2 investigate n no wats up cos. Dis guy doesn't look crius.
@Poster 1, dont trouble trouble when trouble isn't troubling you. Let the sleeping dog lie. Simple.
ReplyDelete@ poster 2, he doesn't call for 2 weeks not even text messages. Babe, that guy isn't serious with you. Don't turn down other guys for someone you ain't sure of my dear. Keep an open mind, meet and get to know new guys. You are not married neither are you engaged or him committed to you.
Nkechi please don't snoop. I am a team don't snoop. Unless you are tired of your marriage and you are looking for a way out of the marriage then you can snoop to give yourself reason to leave.
ReplyDeleteHave you heard of what you don't know won't kill you? Abi you want to give yourself hbp? Enjoy his love and focus on what makes your home happy.
Poster one.....na so....men are not loyal....
ReplyDeletePoster two....Abeg marry am.....u don see big fish
@Galore
No.1: Tho I'm #teamsnoop, I'll say let sleepin dogs lie. Snoopin to me makes sense when there's cause for it. From what u said, wat happened did so in d past. Let it go dear.
ReplyDeleteNo.2: I smell a rat, no, rats & I smell fishes. Y shud u fend off other suitors without a firm commitment, & knowing that u still don't know the guy that well. Don't be kept on a long thingy. Luv urself. Cheers.
Poster1, I have been married for 4years and had something similar mine was that DH's phone rang and I picked it. Only to hear a female voice saying hello baby..i was mad..asked him and he denied.my sister I took a break and travelled with my child to return when I was lighter coz I couldn't deal...7 months later a long lost friend called me to ask for forgiveness that she had something with my DH..but ended when she found out I was his wife...omo..then I made a vow.to concentrate on my family n stop any hear say..it is difficult but it's the best.No more tears,headache and unnecessary stress.enjoy ur man coz u own both d bottle and d content
ReplyDeletefor sure the man is being evasive,which one all the answers he is giving you any way i ll advice you don't put all ur eggs in his basket oo.If u see any other guy that appeals to u abeg encourage him but insist on no sex while u investigate the other guy or better still give him an ultimatum on the relationship cos u no be small pickin again so that the guy at the end of the day wont waste ur time and end up not marrying u and not allowing a better guy to.shine ya eyes
ReplyDeletePoster one you have a right to know and pls why are u still in that marriage. He cheated and has the audacity to ask u why u are asking, such guts.
ReplyDeleteHow old are you again???..
DeleteDo u have a man that will not cheat to give her?
DeleteShe's right! She has a right to know. What you don't know can kill you. Don't you people know hiv is real??
DeletePoster 1; like it or not what u did is called SNOOPING, yours was jst done professionally. Why are u in distress over who the chick is, Sweetheart, if you had snooped u would av gotten ur answers and still be pained, now u lose both sides; hubby cheat, u don’t knw who,when & how and u are pained. Sorry. Next time u will be on top of ya game. Probably he is still cheating sef. #teamsnoopalltheway
ReplyDeletePoster 2; am sure he still kept norm @ communication b4 he flew in to meet your mom after you guys rekindled, y r u bothered abt communication after he had met your mom? Be careful tho. Few guys act that way, they are over quiet.
Poster 1, what do you need the information for? Abeg, let bygones be bygones. Nevertheless, be alert. Snoop if you must. Poster 2, are you sure you aren't dating yourself?
ReplyDeletePoster1: Be looking for trouble where there is none. There's a reason why you didn't know when he was cheating but there u go trying to shove words in his mouth....you asked for it
ReplyDeletePoster 2: There is definitely someone else taking his attention... Dunno what advice to give in this aspect, but know there's someone else and you have been hung on the shelf as last resort in this one he's in scatters. Either that or he's still trying to sort out things with his estranged wife and don't want to put you in the middle of his drama. Give him space sha, don't commit fully to him.....hmmm, scratch that, there's def someone else and its not his ex-wife
P1. Why are you disturbing yourself. Pls relax your nerves and love your husband for who he is. It is just an eye opener so intensify your prayers.
ReplyDeleteP2. You need to evaluate yourself very well. List out the qualities you need in a man and look around you to see if other guys who come to you have it. So as not to miss the chance of meeting good one among them. Sometimes, people look for what is with them in a foreign land. Shine your eyes very well.
P1: you would only hurt yourself more with the knowledge of the other woman's identity. You'd begin to stalk her, wanna be like her. Jeez! It's creepy IMO. U've got no business with her. Let it go. Bygone!
ReplyDeleteP2: u're dating a married. Let him park well, so u'll see clearly. Allow other suitors. Time no dey ur side again.
#1 Just leave sleeping dog alone. Don't subject yourself into something else, rather be praying for him.
ReplyDelete#2 That guy may be married there but only looking for Naija wife. Be wise.
Poster1,why would u want to know who he cheated with?do you want to visit her?or ask her or better still,fight her?how would knowing who make you feel?you will only end up hurting yourself the more,what you should know is men cheat and it is in their nature,if I ask my hubby that question,I know he will never tell me the truth even if he has so I won't bother asking,my own is the day I catch him ,he go know say craze full my body,it's better you erase the thought because knowing who will only hurt you the more then think of what step to take afterwards,poster 2,it's better you don't let that guy decieve you,he is not telling you the truth,it's either he is still married or he has remarried,abeg look for someone in Nigeria and settle down,you will turn 45 and still be waiting for him or he will marry you in Nigeria whilst still married in the U.S,this has happened to me before so be wise.Jaydiva
ReplyDelete#1...If u know u can't handle the truth or whatever u find out,don't snoop.....I wonder why people like giving themselves heartaches unneccesarily.now u av robbed urself of d joy n peace in ur marriage
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. Stella spoke my mind. I think d you should get ur mind off that US guy Ooo and get hold on someone u are seeing so u don't waste ur time and also so u don't regret a second time.
ReplyDeletePoster1 stop snooping, what u don't know won't kill u, stop trying to cause more problems for yourself oooo, u better ask the Holy Spirit to blank ur mind from those bad thoughts that are gradually taking control of ur mind and channel ur tots to making ur husband love u so much more.
ReplyDeleteWhat you don't know kills faster than Ebola...
DeleteLorl!
DeleteOk...
ReplyDeletePoster 2, Stella has told you all you need to know. The guy is either married or in a serious relationship wherever he is.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, If it's still working don't try to fix it! Be content with what you have and stop snooping around. To what end? You may just spoil the good thing you have.
Poster 1 - I feel your pains
ReplyDeletePoster2 - something is not right, he's either still married or in another relationship, pray for discretion
1.Y u dey find Wetin no loss? He might even be kidding or joking.
ReplyDelete2. That man is married abroad, Pls look for husband jare
Poster 1: you're calling for high BP. How can you wake up one day and ask ur hubby that queestion and expect him not 2 be defensive??? And you're demanding to know who??? What do you want to do with the identity of d person.. You better behave. Poster 2: Communication is VITAL in any meaningful r/ship.. This guy isn't 2 be trusted.. You may end up being a 2nd wife.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, don't give urself headache it has happened, so let it go!
ReplyDeletePoster2.... Be sure, some men lie to get what they want.
Poster 1, how will the information of who he cheated with help you? It may only make you angrier. I understand that you must be going through a tough time now and getting over his cheating is hard. It's okay to be hurt and bitter but don't allow that pull you into a pool of depression. FORGIVE and move on, ok. May the Lord be your strength.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, when a man who is supposed to be in love with you and is far away stays for 2 whole weeks without communicating, that is a red light. I'll advise you to take it slowly as you embark on finding love. Be patient and work on your relationship with God and with your lovely son.
ReplyDeleteposter 1: sorry. i will forgive u cos u are young. never ever ask ur man such a question. just enjoy your marriage and take each day as it comes. asking such is a recipe for disaster. even if he has what will u do but cause urself grief?
ReplyDeleteposter 2: pls he has someone else or even a full family. work cannot keep him incomunicado for 2 wks. sorry
She has a honest husband! Some men will say NO! And play the saint! Some men will still deny if caught on top of another woman! Nkechi, you trusted too much! Let it go. Why is the image still playing in your head? Did you sleep with a married man yourself before you married? Don't develop hypertension over a man!
DeleteP1. Now u know, oya face your work.
ReplyDeleteP2. That guy is either married or really working his ass out abroad. one of the tow as i hear America no easy oooo
Narrative 2, don't you read the handwritten on the wall? I don't know why ladies think a man living thousands of miles away won't have another woman shinning his Congo? He was divorced then when he was toasting you before you got married, how was his behavior then compared to now? You slept with him when he came to Nigeria? If yes, he has gotten what he wanted and wants to severe the relationship. He is living with another woman! Find men in Nigeria, and curb that dream of moving abroad which is your main goal. Say the truth!
DeletePoster 1;let sleeping dog lie. What where u expecting to hear? Is ur husband Jesus?
ReplyDeletePoster 2; that guy is living with a woman,run without looking back.
Why will coca cola company put lacasera in a container and call it fanta apple? Mstcheeew
I love ur reply sugar
DeletePoster2 ...There are men like that. I cant stand a man that cannot communicate. When a man likes you, he will make out time for you. Since communication is important to you, ignore him for a while and give other dudes the green light.
ReplyDeleteHe will pick up interest again in you and this time you have to call the shots.
Let him not smell desperation in you.
XOXO MYSTERY
#1: Since you are the faint-hearted, stop it now and never engage in snooping. High bp can kill o.
ReplyDelete#2: Investigate that man well to know if he is really divorced, why, and what he does. Don't be carried away by Yanki. Rose
Poster one I'm sure a lot would have told u to forget, as I have not read thru comments. Yes it hurts cos he has told you and mainly Becos u have been all believing he is a saint all these while. Forget and move on. Knowing what u were not aware of , what good will dat do you. Please let go fast, don't start snooping now unless ur man is Randy my own one cent.
ReplyDeletePoster two give people who are in the same vicinity a chance, even if he is that busy, he will still have time to go toilet, he can use that to message your. Don't get me wrong, abroadian busy sometimes can get k leg and I'm not joking about this but we do have a way of getting back. Talk it tru with him, let him know ur intentions before u give others a chance. Don't tie your happiness to an overseas affair which won't yield anything.
Poster 1: I don't see the reason for ur question. And as he said he is ur man and not the side check. Move on already and forget about snopping. U won't gain anything from it except heart break.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I think u should forget that ur US guy, he obviously has something else going on, that he doesn't want u to know.
Poster one,pls let d sleepy dog lie,allowing that thinking to linger in ur mind will destroy ur marriage in d long run. Poster two,the america he-goat is still married.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o, I would want to know who he cheated with and why cos that's the only way I will have closure as in trying to make sense of a bad situation. Not knowing will just turn me to a "wonderer". So my dear, it seems u are bent on finding out so ask if you must but be prepared in ur heart for the answer you get o cos u are asking for yourself and since u have forgiven him already, u have to take it like a strong woman and move on. My 2 cents
ReplyDeleteI am in support of snooping but only if it is necessary to do so.
ReplyDeletePoster No 1, Since you said you've forgiven him, why do you need to know the information that should be laid to rest? I f your husband has not change the way he provides for you, please let it go completely, though it is easier said than done because you're the only one that know where the shoe pinches.
You also mentioned that you have no reason to snoop in the past, then you should be able to erase the past from your mind and stop snooping and focus on your marriage and figure out the reason he cheated on you so you can up your games (spice it up). I pray that God will give you the heart to fully forgive and forget. Stay blessed.
Poster No 2, You have to be patience and very careful not to rush into any marrige with this guy, as you know, communication is very very important in a relationship, you have to open up to this guy the next time you speak to him that without him communicating with you, you don't see any future between you two, and this shouldn't be a threat.
Best of luck.
Anon B
Abeg forget that Americana there is some body here he is going out with talking from experience
ReplyDeletePoster no 1,free your mind from unnecessary worries,no2 look before you leap.awww! First time am commenting Stella,for over a year I have known your blog
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteI am the queen of snooping but I don't understand why you started asking questions without reason.
Snooping is only for women who can handle the truth, people who prefer the bitterest truth than the sweetest lie.
Like most have said, it's in d past, so let it go.
Stella, sometimes your none snooping theory doesnt work, it baffles me how oblivous u can be over the anti snooping. Well it's your opinion Sometimes it's absolutely necessary, when u suspect something, should you just sit down and wait for it to happen. I don't snoop often but if I feel suspicious about any thing, I will do my research, and ask if it's absolutely necessary, confronting after snooping is never a good idea, my advice wait for the right time.
ReplyDeleteI've been with my husband for 10years
Thank God I snooped
We did a long distance relationship when we were dating , saw very little of each other, broke up with him once during our long distance relationship, my snooping made me find out he had a serious relationship in the country he lived at the time.
He came begging but I had moved on to someone else,things dint work out with the guy I was with
All the while we still spoke as friends. Nothing more at the time.
He dint relent in his begging so after my relationship ended we gave it another shot unknown to me he was still the same girl I broken with him over
Our families became really close we were taking trips/vacations together, his siblings and parents were in sync with my family as well, his family knew the other girl but no one said anything to me
Thank God I was bold enough to snoop oh because my snooping revealed that he never broke up with the lady, when I confronted him at the time he denied it.
Long story we talked about it, it was hard but we are happily married with 3 kids now
prepare your mind that whatever happens you are not going to be the victim. Don't break down when you find out the worst.
Well poster, it's hard to know someone you love cheated on you, if it bothers you talk to him, finding out who she is Wont make it less painful, you will be left devasted.
My advise don't be petty, he's your husband you know h mood when you want to get the sincere truth out of him.
If he's truly sorry You can tell from his body language and attitude after that don't linger on it.
Ninny
Couldn't have said better myself! Good advice
DeleteLinda always quick to comment yet you don't read before yarning rubbish......are you daft? How does her story say she loves the guy cos he lives in the US.....u think it's every body desperate to marry some one abroad? Or in your myopic mind people abroad have no right to have a relationship with anyone back home again....u either go back to school or read well before commenting...always quick to judge eople yet no single common sense mschweeeeeew
ReplyDeleteP1 save urselves d stress and let it go! Forgive him and move on. Unless u want 2 keep suffering and killing ur self, jst put effort in making urself a beta wife.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Leave him be, some men the more you pressurize them, the more you push them into exploring new horizons.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. A breast in a hand is worth 2 in the bra, better go for people you see readily, forget about all this yankee and jand guys. Their motto is the more you look, the less you see.