Every Saturday and Sunday we might have two sets of Chronicles because I have so much in my archives and some are really desperate to get advice and i keep getting more.Another Narrative will be up by 5pm.
Love is supposed to be blind so why does it cause so much heartache?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
DEALING WITH MARITAL RAPE
DEALING WITH MARITAL RAPE
Hi dear Stelle, I salute you for the great job you are doing via your blog. God bless and continue to make it big. I would like you to please post my narrative in your daily chronicle, I hope you post it in the up coming one. thanks so much in advance.
I have been married for 5 years. Our sex life was very lusty and fulfilling when we first met - but it soon settled down to having sex once a month after a drink. My husband is a loving man but is not demonstrative. We have chatted about the lack of sex in our relationship but end up going around in circles I was happy to go through this until we were both ready to sort it out, until last year.
We usually have a drink every weekend and I often fall into a deep drink induced sleep But I began waking in the morning feeling sore down below. I had the feeling that I had had sex but did not remember - I would ask my husband if we had sex the night before and he would say no. This continued every time I fell asleep after a drink and I could not work out why.
One night just out of curiosity I went to bed first as normal but decided to pretend to be in a deep sleep (I made sure I did not have a lot to drink) to see if anything was going on. My husband came to bed and within 15 minutes just as I was drifting off he started to touch me, and went on to have sex with me. He clearly didn't want me awake. The next day I asked my husband if we had sex, and he said no! I was disgusted and felt violated and had to face him about it in a way he could not deny it.
I waited until next time pretended I was asleep again - but this time half way through I just pretended to wake and asked him what he was doing. He came up with every excuse under the sun other than admit to what he was doing. He was distraught and said he would cut his hands off before touching me without my consent in that way again. I was very upset that he was getting off on this kind of sex preferring that to the loving intimate adventurous sex life I was trying to get back. He promised it would not happen again. Now I cannot relax and feel I daren't have a drink in case he does those things and I get that horrible sinking feeling again the next morning. As I see it he would rather jump all over me and enjoys the fact that it is without my consent or involvement.
Our sex life, or lack of it, really is not a problem but what he did when I was in a deep sleep is. I cannot fathom out why he says he has such a hang up about sex, but can have sex with me when I am asleep. Please help this resentment is destroying my respect for him and I feel raped and violated and have told him so. I feel I cannot confront him again about this. I got nowhere last time. He gave me empty promises saying he would never do it again. Does it make me just as bad because I am aware it is happening and have not confronted him about it this time? Am I consenting in a way? I am 34 and my husband is 40.
Thanks to you all in advance.
OMG!..why steal something that belongs to you?
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
BEING CHOOSY WHEN THE CLOCK IS TICKING.
It is not a matter of being choosy and please stop counting your age and focus ahead,do not settle for less than you deserve otherwise whatever union you go into will not work..it is that simple.Wish you all the best.
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
BEING CHOOSY WHEN THE CLOCK IS TICKING.
Hello Stella Sugar! Thank you for all you are doing to help us find help and hope. God bless you real good!
I'm the lady that sent in a story few months back that I have been almost 'the one' (the girl before the bride) 7 times. I read the advice given by bvs and I have been working on myself not to be clingy. Also, I try not to write off guys just because they don't fit my dream guy.
Now! One of the guys that I initially rejected came back and we have been dating. Unfortunately, this guy is annoying on all grounds.
1: He got transferred to Lagos almost 9 months ago but he refused to get his own place, he still stay with his uncle and his family. I have been to the place twice and I wasn't comfy with that. I asked him when he will move out and he said soon Maybe.
2: He wants to 'play'. *sigh* I don't know how to explain this but this guy never talked about anything but 'play' (that's his words for it) he said he won't have sex (I told him no sex b4 marriage) but he wants to 'romance' which I haven't allowed since we started dating.
When I told him that I live alone he was so eager to know my place. Fortunately, there was fasting so he couldn't 'play when he came. But the fasting is over today and he called to inform me that he is coming to spend d weekend with me next week. When I said NO! He said that shows I'm not ready for a serious relationship.
3: He is stingy! We started dating mid December and till now I haven't spent his 1 kobo, not even a Christmas gift!
I don't want to 'play', because it seem that's all he wants and I don't want him coming to my house to sleep over! BUT, I'm in my early 30s, am I being too choosy?
I'm really angry at this new development because I was already trying to fall in love with him. I'm sorry for my long story.
It is not a matter of being choosy and please stop counting your age and focus ahead,do not settle for less than you deserve otherwise whatever union you go into will not work..it is that simple.Wish you all the best.
today chronicles e get as e be o dis ones pass me odikwa serious
ReplyDelete#GODWIN
Am sure your husband has been watching too much of sleep fuck porn that's what they do..na wa o difrnt difrtn we dey hear
DeleteRape is his fantasy, he needs help.
DeleteDidn't want to comment cos av bin really busy lately but I can't help it...WTF mehn,dis chronicle sef
Delete@poster No1 while I read ur story, a lot of things came 2 mind
1-having sex in such manner is ur husband's fantasy but he dsnt know how to say it to you because he feels you would definitely refuse...to find out if this is true...one of the days you guys would want to "drink" as usual, tell him u have thought of everything and dt you want to get really drunk so as to fulfill his fantasy, he might refuse it at first,buh u can still convince him to speak out.
This might sound crazy BT I think it's wts going on.
Poster No2 pls that guy is a joker
Judging from ur age,he shd b older than u are, do u mean he is comfy living with his uncle? Na wa o
Please let him be, he should look for other girls to "play" with, rubbish!
Poster 1, have u ever heard of Sexsomnia? I watched a documentary on TV once about it and I remember being deeply fascinated by it and it fits ur husband's behaviour (in fact one of d guys' wife almost divorced him until he was diagonised and d condition was explained to them) Sexomnia a.k.a sleep sex is a rare form of sleep disorder, (sometimes induced by alcohol, drugs, fatigue or stress), where the man or woman ( but more common in men) is actively having sex while the brain is asleep. There's nothing to usually indicate that they don't know what they are doing other than the fact that they don't remember a thing about what they did n said the next day (for some its so chronic that they can have sex 3 to 4 times during d night) n still not remember a thing. It can be very loving sex, aggressive rape like sex or even quite sex like in ur case but they usually deny it cos they don't remember a thing and if woken up in d act are usually just as confused n embarrassed cos they don't know what's going on as well...the good news is that its treatable through some life style changes n in some cases thru medication as well, although I don't know if there r doctors who can treat such in Nigeria....my advice is DAT u guys need to stop drinking, u need read up about this sleep disorder and discuss it things with him ....if you are absolutely convinced though that he knows exactly what he's doing, then u need to read up on Somnophilia (which involves having sex with sleeping or unconscious pple but usually strangers) and see if his behaviour is consistent with that. If it is, then encourage him to seek psychiatric help.
Delete@SDO this true. Sexsomnia is very real but unfortunately our people treat everything as if its spiritual. Poster 1 please check the YouTube video titled SLEEP SEX. Its a 44 mins documentary video, but it will help you understand if his behaviour fits with this condition. Good luck!
DeletePoster 1, your husband needs help, I don't get why he his actually stealing what's his... seat him down and have a heart to heart convo with him, also pray for him, forgive n let yourself heal.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 if you are not comfortable with all this signs, move on, marriage is no joke at all.
Poster 1: your husband is into necrophilia (sex with dead people) that's his fantasy and that's why he prefers you being dead in sleep before touching you. Pele o
DeletePlease someone should help me with Stella's email address... I can remember she posted a while ago that we shouldn't send mails to one of her emails, which is the right one to send chronicles to please?
DeleteSeee poster1, ur husband is tired of d way u underate him wen it comes to sex nd he jes wants to jerk off wifout beiing judged byy you dt he was gud enuf or nt gud enuf in bed.
DeleteSdimokokorkus@gmail.com
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: @narr 1 necrophilia (sex with dead people) annon 15;15 was right
DeleteAnonymous 15:15.. Who is dead in this chronicle now.. Ode oshi
DeleteOi you over there! miss mae or worrefa. I see you're blind in one eye, or is it that half of your brain isn't functioning anymore? Pele dear now go and read my comment again with intent to understand
DeleteMiss Mae u didn't understand anonymous 15:15. Sex with dead people in this context is relative. As the husband wants to have sex with a non responsive person, it can therefore be likened to deriving pleasure from having sex with the 'dead'.. literally. Got it?
DeleteAnd u didn't have to insult the anonymous. Ok bye
Thanks a lot precious oma
DeleteMiss mae always insulting, dumbfuck
DeleteLoooooooollll.....first narrative,your story is so funny....
ReplyDeleteI have no advise for you.....You have to deal with it afterall marriage is for better and for worse....take this as your worse....
Narrative 2,
Drop the nigga biko...I hate stingy men...
No money,no sex...
In as much as I get angry wit ur comments sometimes, I'm always looking forward to it.... ahahahahahaha God Lynda u be cray cray.. serious one.
DeletePoster 1...This might sound funny but as I was reading this I said maybe your husband is a ritualist /occultic cause I can't explain y a man will steal sex from his wife.
DeleteNo dear, we are christians and besides hubby has spent more than half of his llife living here in the US
DeletePoster one,you should be more worried about the mental state of your hubby right now.
ReplyDeleteI totally find it strange that he would prefer having sex when you are unresponsive than when you are alert,moaning and climaxing..
Please something is off here,blame it on a lot of Crime tv I watch,but I really think this dude right here has some 50 Shades of Grey going on or he is not getting strong elections anymore.
The question now is..for how long will you keep getting "high" so he swoops in anytime he feels like?
Is he even willing to agree that there is a problem so you both can sort it out?
Lastly,I believe if a married man or woman has any sexual fetish,it should be what both of them absolutely want and like.
Madam,with what I have listed above,it is obvious that this is not normal.. Get him to admit it and tell you his reasons!
*erections*
DeleteInfact poster 1's husband is totally strange!he isn't much different from the mortuary attendant dat sleeps with dead women,cos dead and sleep are cousins.i think he needs both psychological and spiritual help!
DeletePoster2,keep keeping ur legs closed for now,yes no play'!but I think u should give him a lil more time to settle well,he might not be as stingy or irresponsible as u think.be patient.
....
Gbamest comment.
DeleteNARR 1: Confront your hubby. Ask him if he was formerly a thief or a rapist(honestly these things need to be asked)
NARR 2: Your bf is looking for a "cash cow" or sugar mum. Be wise. God bless you as you take that brave step!!
That is your husband sexual fantasy, too much movie, if he keeps on knowing u are half asleep all the time now, he will go into drugging you, for him to fulfil his sexual desire, ask him if he wants u to pretend that you are dead when you guys are getting down, or whether he wants to sleep with a dead body, becos he like them dead, he should let you know, becos he needs serious help and very fast.
Delete*erection* oh chim!!
DeleteLmao@Samira..thief kwa..buhahahaha.
Queen Bee,that hospital attendant's story crossed me mind ooh..lol..
@Queen bae my thots exactly, maybe he's a mortuary attendant, lik dat oda guy.
DeletePoster 1 your hubby is sick.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm!
He needs to see a psychiatric ASAP!
Please make sure he gets treatment fast before he devises another means to indulge his fetish.
I know you feel violated, I would feel same too, but please your hubby needs emergency help now!
Can you put your feelings aside for a second and help him find help?
He is your husband and he needs your help now.
This is not as simple as it might seem. It's actually a big problem.
No same person does what he did to you.
So sorry for what you are going through right now.
Marriage they say is like a wrapped gift, what you see when you unwrap it is what you get.
It's your duty to make the best out of it or ditch it.
All the best dear.
Be strong.
Poster 2,
Babe, why are you being unnecessarily desperate.
Please do not settle for less.
That guy is clearly a user and will dump you once he eats your cookie.
I guess he has sensed the you are too conscious of your age and a bit desperate, that's why he had the guts to tell you that if you don't play, then it means you are not ready for a serious relationship.
All the signs are there my dear.
Drop that guy like he's hot!
Don't lower your standards or compromise because you don't want to come across as "choosy".
You are not being choosy dear. Please drop that guy now.
Please, before you enter another relationship, take your time to know the guys well first. Know his values and what he stands for, so you'll be sure you guys can get along in every aspect.
It's better to start as friends first before being intimate.
Pray for God to send the right man your way soon.
He is still in the business of answering sincere prayers.
All the best dear.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 we wouldn't know what goes on in ur husband's head, but lemme share what I think :
DeleteYou may be an aggressive and over adventurous type, while d poor man just wants a quiet missionary style sex. Hence he waits for u to be semi-conscious and enjoys d peaceful sex. So incase u r d scissors style, dirt talking and biting type u proli need to tone it down. Boo no like am.
2) people tend to have strange sexual preferences. I know someone who would never willingly have sex with her husband. She likes to be forced, not roughly as per beat and slap ooo sha cajoled. It gives her kicks. So maybe ur husband would like for you to play dead when you have sex LOL (ok sounds crazy).
You should sha not take offence, try a few things out and talk to him as well. All d best!
Hehehehee
DeleteP1 ur husband has been watching toomany necrophilia porn.
He imagines u as a corpse which gives him pleasure!
Chei! Jesus is not coming soon.
P2
That ur BF is not serious!
Smell d coffee darling,
He's wanna live off u,
If u marry him,
U will pay rent,
Pay kids school fee,
Buy household stuff,
Buy tv,gen,car,petrol,
U will buy condoms,
U will be a pay-mistress.
Poster 1,sorry Boo.just try n calm down.
ReplyDeletei know its d last thing u wanna to right Now buh Nne,u have to...ok?
Try n get To d root of dis problem...
he wasnt like dat buh all of à sudden he turns to dis...
is he stressed?
is dere something he is going via
He is not that old or i would have asked if it was mid-life crisis.
Buh Den it could be nothing....just nothing.
this is all about u buh u see poster,for me i love Being "done"wen m asleep....hehehhehehhe
Buh u know ,Crazy me wil always wake up..hahahhahahhaha
Inukwa sleeping via Love-making.....hahhahaha
I have an aunt that Likes this....only thing is dat Uncle doesnt lie about it...lol
Frankly,i dont even see d biggie about dis.buh his lying about it is wot got ma attention.
So Asa Nma,Lets get to d root of d problem.
of him lying.and not of him Getting his juicy goods while u slept....Lol
AND May i "welcome" u to d club of Slumber Sex Baby!
Hope u r smiling.Oya.keep smiling.Everything Wil be fine Pretty.*Hugs.
Poster 1,forget ur âge and wot people are going to say or NOT....
Focus on wot u want and wot makes u happy.
I trust u to know that u cant have it all u know buh Den again,God gives us what we want....
That Being said,that ut guy sef....
he doesnt sound serious o....
is his name Uncle Onyeka?
Er,i mean Onyeka?
Pls takke à breather and know u are special and u r worth it......
Dont Make à man who hasnt even married u Make u rant.ok?
*bear hugs*
I just love you
DeleteWell said!! Marriage is a wrapped gift!! Dear poster,, work things out with your hubby!! Mine prefers to tie a woman before getting down and yeah! What is my problem? Because finding out he is getting it from another woman would hurt me the more so, when mother marriage comes knocking I just lay which ever way he wants and find something to enjoy from the act. Lol. He in turn becomes my slave and take good care of moi! :P so Adanne,, if it is his fantasy go along with it afterall he is your husband. My mum use to say 'starve your husband of food if you feel like (when angry) because he may eat out BUT, never starve him of sex. Because, if he eats that one outside walahi, you go know how far.. lol.
DeleteStart by appreciating the fact that he hasn't started cheating on you, appreciate the fact that he still considers you sexy enough to fulfill his fantasy, tell him that you know that he didn't just pick up this habit but has been hiding it from you, the worse you can do now is to criticize him..because that would take him back into his shell and, whenever he wants to play he might hire a lady to play with him. Be open minded ooo!! Marriage no be beans! And trust me,, you might be shocked these discovery might improve your sex life with him. Because, you guys can work things out,, you pleasure him he pleasures you!! Chekina!!!!! Haha. Viel Gluck
Nnem Nwuye general u ve said it all.
DeletePoster take care u hear.
Ms naija chick. Are you for real?
DeleteTie down?
As in dominance and submission like 50 grey Christain?
Wonders shall never end.
Poster 1, dunno the 'suitable ' name for that hubby of yours.Tufia!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, u are not been too choosy please Don't ever settle for less. Keep your head up high and what's urs will definitely locate you. Free that 'play play' boy make him find his play play partner. Good luck!
Poster 2, abeg send the playing guy packing. I hate it when men feel they need to have sex with a woman and even think it's their right. Play ko, dribble ni. Instead of him to focus his energy on renting a place to live, he wants to play. Mschewwww
ReplyDeleteP2, look front abeg.
ReplyDeleteBtw, i always advice ppl in a relationship surprise themselves often with gifts, it shouldn't be one sided.
#1: Sweetie, I'm guessing your hubby suffers from a sexual disorder known as SOMNOPHILIA. It makes him unusually aroused by immobility or a sleeping partner. Some men who got addicted to sex dolls as adolescent boys grow up to be somnophilic. If this is the case, it can be managed with therapy and medication. Of course, crown it all with prayers.
DeleteI know you can be more accommodating or more open to your hubby's fantasies as long as they don't demean you but I'm afraid this is more of a depravity than a harmless fetish and shouldn't be enabled. The fact that he can't share his kinky side with you but goes ahead to pleasure himself while you are asleep and even denies his actions when confronted, goes to prove he has a disorder. I'm also not too comfortable with the idea of getting all liquored up before sex. That should be reserved for "special occasions" if you are into that kind of thing. Sex should be spontaneous and mutually beneficial, not calculated and chemically induced almost all the time to attent sexual gratification.
I know a lot of men and women have a bit of freak in them to jazz up or spice up their sex lives but it becomes a problem where a relatively young couple can't have regularly active sex without kinky stuff. Honey, you have to keep telling him how this is affecting you. Resentment grows deeper with silence and lack of communication. You have to try to encourage him to seek help because your marriage and, probably, your life are at stake. Handle him with care so he can be open to your suggestions on how to seek help. God speed, honey.
#e-bearhugs.
I appreciate your comment. Thank you
DeleteN2: All I read is "I was already trying to fall in love". How are you trying to fall in love with someone that wants to play, not caring and selfish? My dear love happens, when you meet the ONE, you won't try, effortlessly you will feel it ok.
ReplyDeleteBut come oh are you a relationship junkie? Take time off to work on whatever advice you choose to adhere to from your last post.
Poster 1 honestly am suprised at your husband's behaviour. I will advise you pray about it since you ve already confronted him.
ReplyDeleteI pray there isnt more to it.
Poster 2. Dont settle for less. Tell God what you want and watch him perfect it.
Why is he so desperate to play with you? Cant he just allow nature take its course?
My dear you are not the only one in this situation,stop being paranoid because you are of age and probably your mates are all married.best of luck
Poster one I think your hubby is a necro monger
DeleteHe gets off on sleeping with ppl who are unconscious or dead
Poster two ditch that guy fast
Poster1,madam pls stop drinking before going to bed.you and your hubby can make love at any time of the day.your hubby is sick why hidin and eating what belongs to him pls put a stop to your drinkin habit. Poster2. Don't let your so called bf take advantage of you.its obvious he just want sex and i guess after that he will run.dnt be worried about ur age ur dream man will locate you for sure
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say to poster one oo,its too much for my small brain. But what your hubby is doing is VERY bad,i can't possibly think of an excuse for him self.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,you are not been picky..you just can't and shouldn't settle for anything less cos of your age...your own hubby would locate you soon..he might even be someone close self,someone you think less or nothing about...but in all PRAYER IS THE KEY.
Poster one ur hubby needs a psychologist
ReplyDeletePoster two,leave him alone mbok! He is not ready to man up yet.to me he still acts like a teenager
Poster one, that's the height of all creepiness jeez... I dunno wuh to say. the LORD is your strength. Poster2 you'll be just fine.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling. Its so wrong. Firstly its time you say goodbye to alcohol. And then have a talk. I hope it all works out for good.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 I don't think he is ready for anything serious. Never compromise on your belief.
Second poster
ReplyDeleteIf all he came back into your life to do is to "play" that means he is not ready to settle too.
Why is he even threatening you? Hope he isn't perceiving desperation all over?
If you have decided not to have sex with anyone,don't be bullied into it biko!
Don't worry,you will soon look back on your dating journey and have a big laugh..
It will end in praise.
I really admire those that send in their chronicles of what they are passing through. .
ReplyDeleteI believe the first step to healing or solving whatever d issue is, is first identifying that there is a problem. .but please we would also love to know the outcome of all these after BVs give advise..to know how u handled the issue. .It also could gives someone else hope right here. .i'm sure its not everyone that has d courage to send in their stories even if anonymously. .Some just want to believe that if it worked for this person or if this person can do this, then I can also.
Poster1:I'm sorry I really don't know what to tell u..I just feel u should really have a talk with him or u guys should see a psychologist or sex therapist. .
Poster 2: I believe the mistake many women make in marriage is because they feel they are getting old and just accept any man that shows interest trying to overlook their ugly behaviour. .
My sister please don't ever settle for less. .cos these people u think are laughing at u that u are not married yet won't be there when u are going through hell in ur marriage. .u have stayed this long to this age, so why not settle for the best man? Please don't be desperate to be a 'mrs' and get urself in trouble. .We want to read ur story in the chronicle of hope. .God bless u..
I don tire to dey give advice for this blog, I swear. Narrative 2: Must somebody tell you? Haven't been following this blog long enough to know that him being stingy, refusing to be responsible by moving to his own place, and regardless of your NO sex policy still wants to "play", are all VERY RED flags? Ok. If you like don't end it, continue into marriage then your story will become another thing. There was a reason it didn't work out in the first place.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 ur hubby has d tendency of sleeping with a corpse.. beware!
ReplyDeletePoster 2 dat niggur ain't serious. Ditch him asap!
Necrophalia abi na wetin dem de call am.. strange ppl everywhere.. #kmt
DeleteSo true. Poster one folow your husby spiritually oh
DeletePoster 1 as weird as this may sound madam, e be like say your husband dey sleep with dead body. Hope he does not work in a mortuary sha. Person dey hear story o. Poster 2 that boyfriend of yours is d most unprepared man I have seen. He is acting like a London boyfriend. The moment you allow him to play, he will zap cos dts all he is after. I think he is already married and hiding it from you. Some families can help keep such secrets o. Take it from a matured babe. He is never gonna get a place and the moment you let him spend a weekend with you, he will move in until he is transfered back to his wife. Better don't let him play o so you won't cry dt he lied to you and also cry dt he played and got away.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, your husband is probably acting out a fantasy, and he is ashamed of admitting it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I can bet that the guy who wants to 'play' is an Igbo guy. cos na so dem dey like talk am.
Let him NOT EVER spend the night at your place, lest we begin to hear 'stories that touch'.
Infact, let that nigga go. He is not worth it.
It's not a fantasy, it keeps happening. I fear he may have a sexual ferish for dead bodies. Necrophilia I think it's called.
DeleteAssasin you are right. Her hubby is only acting out a fantasy ( a weird one) and is too ashamed to admit it. Speak to him, make him see that his lies is making you loose trust in him. All the best!
DeletePoster2
ReplyDeleteDump that "player"
He's even stingy sef.. mtcheeeeeeew!!
Poster1
I think your hubby needs help!
Odikwa very somehow for today chronicles oo. Im too tired to think
ReplyDeletePls I need help am a married woman bt hard my kids through caesarean bt recently my private part is always dry pls I need help my hubby is complaining. Tnx everyone no insult pls I need help on what to do
ReplyDeleteBuy lubricant na.....they sell in pharmacy's with different brand names.
DeleteSee a doctor pls and also in the interim you can use lubricating gel. Too much dryness can cause injuries dt might lead to infections. All the best
DeleteNarrative 2, PLEASE DROP THE BROKE ASS NIGGA LIKE HOT COAL! LIVING WITH HIS UNCLE AND FAMILY FOR 9 MONTHS, AND STILL INVITING YOU OVER FOR VISIT? DOES HE NOT HAVE RESPECT AND SHAME?
ReplyDeleteStop looking at your age and accomplish most of the things you dream of and have fun! Some married women wish to be free! Go out! Attend events! Visit the movies! Travel for holidays if you can afford it! L
I have to be brief this one there's Exam part 2 later.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:
This matter is beyond the 2 of you.
Are you telling me you can't see that your husband has a psychological problem. He has a sexual fetish for sleeping sleeping/unconscious women. Google somnophiliac.
There are no 2 ways about it. You needs to discuss the problem with him and seek professional help together.
Poster 2:
Our ancestors say,"You should not call a cow, uncle, because you are hungry for beef".
Imagine the "player" saying you are not ready because you didn't allow the cheap skate to loaf around in your house. Shameless human being!
If he wants to play, shouldn't he secure the venue?
So you will donate playing tools(boobs and things) and donate venue again!
Abeg free him. Don't settle for rubbish because you want to marry!
He wants to come and be eating her food,"playing" with her..inside her own house ooh.
DeleteOnye Arurala!
Goldscent my dear,how are you?
My love, I'm good.
DeleteDon't mind the mad man.
Who says "play" these days sef?
How are we doing?
No dey waddle enter motor like dat o, maiguard will not open the gate.
Poster 2: you shouldn't be really desperate, u know? 30 or no 30,Biko. Don't settle for less&trust me,love will find you.
ReplyDeleteHmm, poster 1, wht I Don't get is y ur hubby is not been truthful about the whole thing! Some guys enjoy dormant sex dats y u hear stories of people making love to dead bodies, or maybe he needs a psychologist fast or maybe his just trying to be wired. Any which way my dear just b strong n help him too
ReplyDeleteDormant-sex abi necrophilia?what is dormant sex?u want to sugar-coat something that deviant?play-act wetin?what's the diff btwn her husband and the mortuary guy from ystdy?esp as he is doing it without her consent, while she is in deep sleep,dead to the world and then lying about it in the morning.the man knows he has a prblm else he wouldn't lie about it since according to the wife,she has always been open to adventurous sex
ReplyDeleteWeird! Try and understand his reasons, find a way to a lasting solution together. @ poster 2: follow stellz advice.
ReplyDeleteP1- talk to your hubby about your concerns and the fact that this makes you unhappy. It's wrong that he seeks his pleasure without ur participation. The change is worrisome. Alternatively, when he is asleep, jump his bones n let's c the reaction u will get. P2- that dude is one chance. Dump his stingy ass biko. N he shdnt come to ur house. If he needs u guys to chill for the weekend, he should book u guys a chalet at whispering palm or something. Stingy muthaF. Keep ur celibacy. God will sort u out ok
ReplyDeleteIs his name Adekunle Abiona aka 'k pumpin'? If yes, i'll advice you run as fast as you can cos he is a bloody user that's why Elizabeth Anyanwu dumped him 2weeks to their wedding and married another guy when she finds out he is a gold digger.
ReplyDeleteLMAOOOOOOOOOO
DeleteOga o
DeleteHahahaha, this got me laughing.
DeleteLMAO
DeleteLol.
Delete@ poster2 pls follow iyabosola's advice so that you wont b defrauded sexually.
Sorry to say this but, poster1 ur hubby's behaviour seems to suggest he is........... I cant remember d word for it now but u know those kind of people who prefer making love to a dead body! His lying about his actions strongly buttresses my thoughts on his behavior. So sorry about ur situation dear.
ReplyDeleteBut y will a husband steal sex from his wife but refuse to av d sex wen its offered? Dis world nawa. N2, I no exactly d kinda guy u re dealing with. Pls run as fast as u can bc such guys will even make u sponsor ur own wedding wt him bc de re dt stingy. Run abeg. N don't allow him to play too. What nonsense
ReplyDeletePoster one,pls get in touch with yr pastor for prayers.bless you.
ReplyDelete***HEALING-RAIN***
ReplyDeletePoster1
Your husband loves zombies and lmagine you are one half dead zombie and that gives him the hard on to chew you as many times as he want. The guy no wan resistance at all. Nothing is wrong with him jare,just send him to the mortuary to become a mortician simple,atleast the frozen corpses won't resist him.
Poster2
Even in this post you still sound like a desperado and it will land you into more problems.
Early 30s and you are ranting? My first cousin is 44 and having the time of her life,wrinkle free and heavily loaded,she has been celibate for 3yrs,she was desperate like you when she was in her middle 30s and ended up with men like the one you are describing,heartbroken but she picked herself up and said no more with undeserving men and finally this august is her wedding to the man of her dreams so my sister don't rush in otherwise the hurricane wind will send you flying out when problem starts. Concentrate on other things for now and don't settle for less.
poster 1,pls pray for ur husband.poster 2,d guy wil use u n dump u after playing
ReplyDelete@ poster 1, it could be nothing oo, just the way he feels bt what am not comfortable is he lying abt it? Do he have to lie for eating his own food? Or it could be a psychological problem and I can suggest him visiting psychiatric or may be a spiritual problem and I guess u knows how to deal wt it. @ poster 2. Nnem what are u still waiting for??? The signs are there already that this guy is a player, big time one, borrow legs join ur own and run!!! By the way who told u that u are running out of age! Ppl are 40 still u will not even notice it by their looks bcs they chosed to make themselves happy, be focus on ur career and believe to ur self, Gods time is still the best dear. Good luck to u all.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm poster 1, I sense necrophilia..
ReplyDeleteProblems r plenty in this world oh *whew**
Poster1 ur husband is seriously sick, he needs help sleeping with you while ur at sleep is not the problem but the lie, poster2 abeg calm down I rather marry the right person wen I'm 35 dan marry the wrong person early, pray to God ur man will find u don't rush in and rush out, dt guy just want to hit and run
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2, abeg where does he want to do the "playing"? In a house u rented for ur self and with ur money? He obviously isn't ready to settle down and I bet if u jokingly tell him to move in with u, he will oblige u. He's a waste of time hun, unto the next 1 pliiiiuuuuz!!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 1..your husband needs help and prayers as well...maybe you need to really sit down and have a conversation with him...maybe he doesnt feel confident in yall sex life anymore thats why he likes or does it when you are heavily drunk...my dear goodluck oh. E no easy at all
ReplyDeleteLadies pls don't settle for less cos you want to marry biko nu. When I mean less, I don't mean a promising and hard working man that doesn't meet up to your expectation as in monetary . I dated my husband when he has nothing today God has blessed US. I really waited for years cos he's what I want. Now to the mean gist my sister's bestie married this guy cos she thought age is not by her side @ 33yrs. Out of desperation she got pregnant immediately n the guy married her. It was when she was married that she opened up to my sister that he lied about having a job but he doesn't. Meanwhile, she knew before their wedding but cos she was pregnant, she couldn't do anything. So, she had to spend her money for the TM. Ladies I didn't say you shouldn't spend your money oh; I spent little of mine in my TM oh. But, she did almost everything. She has a good job and even owns a car that's why the guy married her. Just barely 6months, he batters her when she's pregnant oh and the worst is the man womanise. YES she snooped and saw how the husband begs for sex even from married woman. She's in her fathers house now. She doesn't deserve it at all cos I know she's a nice lady. A person that has waited this while and still made mistake. They dated for 6months. (People still date for half month and still stay together) Chi Austin
ReplyDeletePoster 1 try organising a romantic dinner/getaway for both of you. Dress sexy nd smell heavenly and seduce him. If after all this he doesn't show intrest in having sex with you then there is truly a problem somewre wch both of you need to sort out fast.
ReplyDeletePOSTER2 if he wants to play then he isn't ready for any serious rship with you. dump him and move on. Trust me when ur hubby comes he will sweep you off your feet. You will be d one asking him to slow down with ur marriage preparations and you will still be surprised. Just hold on, keep praying and trusting in God. He truly never fails.
P1 Your husband has some deep seated issues.
ReplyDeleteP2-Please do not use desperation and go and marry a mad man. Leave that guy alone.
P1, reading through your narrative just scared me I swear. Are you for real?
ReplyDeleteMadam choosy, clearly your clock isn't ticking loudly enough because if it were you wouldn't ask any questions & just drop this unserious man who just wants to have free sex.
ReplyDeleteBetter stop wasting time with this user so that when the right man comes along you will have space for him
@poster1 I dnt knw what to say, bt try n hv a dialogue wt hi....@poster2 I dnt like it wen a matured lady talk like a baby, so u want a guy to spend a nite in ur house, u've lost ur self respect by doing so, stop it if you've been doing it
ReplyDeletePoster 1 Take ya hubby to MFM strait....
ReplyDeletePoster 2 Just blive it there thousand and one men ready to love u so greatly and not have SEX wit u b4 marraige b patient and u wil find him.Liv dat guy alone now I can see u are a good xtian from d way u are talkin and DONT FORGET THERE IS A SPECIAL BLESSING WAITING FOR THOSE WHO KEEP THEIR BODY UNTIL THEY ARE MARRIED.Stop looking at your age look at your future.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteDamn right he has a sexual fetish.
Over there, it's likely to be even considered normal sexual behaviour. Since it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you both should see a sex therapist.
Sorry this is happening in ur marriage. Don't freak out ok, just seek professional help.
Poster 2.
I know how it feels.
One of my very good friends got married earlier today, and I remember we were both single a year ago. I kept thinking what's wrong with me??
I came back from the wedding feeling a bit sullen but I consoled myself by saying one blessed Saturday, it'll be my turn. God's time is the best.
That your guy is a taker, not a giver, so do the needful.
Goodluck
Poster 2, my honest advice...just leave that man ur dating and focus on yourself, forget about your age. the right person will come and he won't be looking for a playmate but rather a teammate.
ReplyDeleteThe said guy might even be engaged or planning his wedding. Men are cunning but the goodnews is when God assigns your husband to you, it comes with ease...no fear, no doubt, no worries. everything will just be smooth. I am not married yet, but I have friends who were heart broken and then finally met their husband, trust me the bliss they experienced wiped away all the previous heart aches...
Poster 2, I have a feeling you are Evelyn.. Yes Evelyn that's you.
ReplyDeleteAnd so??? If its Evelyn what should now happen??? U faceless anony should better mind urself.
DeletePoster 1. Your husband needs deep prayers. He enjoys raping you.
ReplyDeleteposter 2. Please forget your age. Don't give up on looking for the right man for you. But please freeze your eggs asap so you can have a healthy baby if it will take longer for you to find a man
Poster number one: Chai my sista, it is well in Jesus name oo. This your husband prolly has always had special fantasies about doing what he's not supposed to be doing or somewhat. That's why he enjoys sneaking up on you.
ReplyDeletePoster number two: Babes I swear I need your contact I can advise you on a personal level cos honey Ive also been the "woman before the bride" and it has happened TWICE! (Even tho I was the one to end the relationships) Both my exes back to back married their girlfriends they met after me. Now I'm with the best guy ever & he's way better than my exes! There's nothing wrong with you, I believe you just had a few things to teach your past guys & your time was up with them. As for this guy you're speaking about abeg oooo let am GO! Don't you see the signs? Those are warnings from God. When you meet the guy for YOU (your divine partner) everything about him will sit well with your soul. You'll be more tolerable of him, trust me. His flaws will be overlooked but you seem to feel some type of way about this guy, he's just not for you. Let am go jejely biko.
Every now andthen,this blog keeps opening our eyes and encourages us.Reading some of these chronicles sometimes just make me WOW.Today, I am just going tosay thank God for this blog and for making it possible for such fountain of wisdom and knowlege where we come and just drink freely, no money can buy.
ReplyDeleteMy shout out to Stella and blogvisitors at large for making this blogville a HOME,one love!
P1: My husband too used to have sex with me when I'm asleep. But the difference is that if I wake up feeling like sore under, asking him, he would not deny. One day I asked him why he climbs me when I am asleep and his answer surprised me. He said I am responsive because I moan and move indicating that I was having pleasure even whilst asleep! His answer surprised me. I had to let him know I was not aware of anything going on-somewhere in my sleep I would have visions of someone touching me all over and if the sleep wasn't deep, I would wake up to find him climbing down me. After discussing with him, he told me he was afraid of me travelling, sleeping in a hotel or anywhere outside our home as it meant I could be easily raped. But it still didn't stop him for several years. I later found that he just preferred the easy way out instead of the long foreplay etc. (my husband has a selfish streak to him-its what I have learnt to put up with).
ReplyDeleteWhat I find quite strange however is that your husband will deny it whenever you ask. It means it you will be wondering and worried when you cant put a finger on what happened to you during your sleep. That is quite selfish of him. There therefore are so many other things he is keeping in the dark away from you and is lying about. I would not be able to feel safe with such a man. You need to sit him down and discuss heart to heart-if he will listen and isn't too far gone.