Guy - (In Western Nigerian accent) Hello ,I can spoke to Stella?
Me - Okay,how may i help you?
Guy - I just calls you to asked you to be a closes friend with me.
Me - *shock with laughter* closes friend?
Guy - Yes my very closes friend.
Me - Okay no problem.We can be
Guy - Okay
Me - How did you get my number?
Guy - You willnt just believed it,I saw it for internet and I say make i called you to spoke with you.
Me - Okay no problem,I will call you back,bye.
Guy - Okay,thanks.bye
Hahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahhahahaahhahahahaha
meanwhile the guy from in house news called Joseph just called to state his interest in looking for a wife...na wah!
Una no reply? LMAO!
Bhahahahaha
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha this guy grammar don break my head ooh choi.
DeleteWell, u never know. It might be one of those foolish things God uses...
Delete....lets give d Joseph guy d benefit of the doubt. Who knows, he might be d opposite of wat he's portraying hia . Wat if it turns out dude's rich, cool, intelligent while playing n chopping us mugu here
They said we shouldn't speak Vernacular expect vocabulary, while china,spain,france,germany speak their languages,they used their culture to merry ours.. Can you see the effect now..murder the language..ahahahhahahahah, so sad#theprison
DeleteSon of Solomon
Hmmm English hard ohh
Delete@ joseph...dont worry dey will mail uuu.....bvs dat said he can't write at least u people will teach him....mtchewwwewww...# don't Eva judge a book by d cover#
DeleteStella where is kajad man biko. I miss his headache comments
DeleteLol...Stella English is not our mother tongue abeg. Be the guy 'closes' friend abeg.
DeleteLmao when the English is a disaster..
ReplyDeleteSomeone just murdered English, RIP English, we will all miss you. No wonder the post in the IHN was not really comprehensible
DeleteSomeone just murdered English, RIP English, we will all miss you. No wonder the post in the IHN was not really comprehensible
DeleteLmao.... Stella, you try. What a character.
ReplyDelete*rotfl*
ReplyDeleteChoi, English kill me i die...Make una mail Mr Joseph na.
ReplyDeletehim miss road
ReplyDeleteStella please Joseph cannot write. But can he speak proper English?
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteStella are 4 real?
ReplyDeleteStella are u 4 real?
ReplyDeleteEnglish is not by force.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaaaaahaaaahaaaaa u don't say!!!
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeleteHe wants an educated person but he cannot compose a simple sentence. Well, education is not a barrier though for those interested.
ReplyDeleteIf I talk, they'll say my wahala is plenty.. Hmmm.
.
.
.
.
.
Positive thinking, Effective action.....
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
@Mosi_Tash_Jazzy
lol
ReplyDeleteLmao!!!
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDelete@Galore
Eyinbo(in baba suwe's voice ) difikult
DeleteItsekiri babe,you do not understand.
Deletehahaha those days when galore says hi before her real comment.
DeleteBwahahahahahahaha!!!@joseph sowie hun I am married over to other blog visitors!!
ReplyDeleteStella kork dearie..i can imagine how you were giggling during that conversation!!
** Listening to "that thing that thing that thinnngggg*****
hahahaha choi see English o omo Yoruba people can drop ehe chai I saw it for internet o
ReplyDeleteStella you are not nice. Is this how you treat your closes friend. I guess I will not bother submitting my application for such position.
ReplyDeleteI can spoke to Stella hahahah I just calls you to asked you to be a closes friend mogbe hahahah DAT guy na baba
ReplyDelete#GODWIN
Killing me with laughing make I spoke my own.
ReplyDeleteBuahahahaha
ReplyDeleteLmao...Englishology!
ReplyDeleteLmao! English hard die.
ReplyDelete...at least u got d message..thats the most important thimg..#sipsMoetnChandon#
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha stella hope head no dey ache you from that grammar?
ReplyDeleteBwuahahahahahahaha Stella will one day kee somebory ooh.
ReplyDeleteI miss Billy Jean. She is that kinda bv that when you read the first two lines of her comment,you will know it's her.
ReplyDeletePepper Ose oku too.
I look out for these peoples' comment:
Sunshine(for her good English and Gemini-gal comments
Linda Eze(i love reading her comments about fatsos and her blunt talk)
Bloggie(she dey take small small talk everything,she go dey talk bad thing but as na Bloggie,bad thing na good thing)
TGW(she writes it you see it in ur mind's eye).
Iphie,ur write up dey sweet like ur voice o.
Widey,chei. I call you the Wordsmith.
Ruono,right?
Chizoba(this lady leaves my mouth hanging open sometimes.hehehehe
Bitchplis(You make me laugh. Will you marry me?)
Alloy,chai. You are a sqeaky clean xter. Are u a virgin?.Pls marry me na
Ronalda,u be Soyinka?
Ezemoni,(na wa o. Another lady that writes n u imagine)
Blackberry,(i love ur kolo level)
Galore(Pls bring back hi,@Galore era)
Brb for part two if part one no end up for experimental jollof life pot.
Hahhahhahhahhaahhaa. Irene, me?
DeleteIt's not fair oh.
Kikikikikiki
Your observation on all others I totally agree.
Chop kiss my sister!
Thanks Irene B.
DeleteMy fellow 'June person'.
Bwahahahaha..No be small thing oh..Sometimes i dey shock when i see my comments.
DeleteHahahhahahahahahaha
DeleteIts HARD.really HARD Saying who d craziest Bvs are.
buh wenever we talk about it,YOU Irene B are on the Topmost list....hahahhahahahhaha
LOVE u Boo!
Sunshine and Whirlwind i like too.
Linda cracks me up too.
AND Jacuzzi baby Ezenwanyi too...Lol
Kisses Goldscent D Darling and Bloggie sweet
AND to my Sweetheart.....u crack me up Boo.LOVE u Iphie!
Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteLolllzzz
Stella, I just may be your next caller, since you have ignored all my mails about Dakuku.
ReplyDeletethe pic of that guy is driving me crazy.... I get orgasms each time I stare at his face in a photo.
Yes I know he is married, but then I can't help it.
Na wa o.
DeleteBut d guy is cuuuuuuute sha
Na waoh! Oyibo bu agbara. It ain't easy.
ReplyDeleteBuhahahahaha..Lmao.
ReplyDeleteSay what!i kan beleve it
ReplyDeleteBuhahahahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteHohohohohohohohohohoh
Kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa
...that is all.....
The guy is a joke
ReplyDeleteHahahahha. ...maybe na u be d wife wey Joseph want..stellakoko. .
ReplyDeleteAre u fucking kidding me?
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo
This is grammar...... I thank baba God say I still get person wen I manage speak English pass
In @Shina peters voice:
Grammar no be my language
@Galore
lmao! that Joseph guy sha! oyibo bu agbara! plus this one join. o my gosh! hahahahhahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteStella thankses for spoke well him, you trieding...
ReplyDelete.
.
.
.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
ReplyDeleteYou fit helep us reply na
The bombastica odi too mus
Yosefu who teacha you?
Lol.
ReplyDeleteYou sure the caller didn't gbagaun intentionally?
I think it was on purpose.
BTW where is Kajad man?
My belle oo.....bwahahahahaha...
DeleteBloglord don't kill me dis nite o.
Chai I really miss his comments. Kajad de Kajad.
Characters full fir thus blog.
Awww. I miss Kajad man.
DeleteHahahahahahahaha I can relate to this Hahahahahahahaha my bele Eeeeehhhh I just remembered an ibo guy that said now that you have surrender to date me lol
ReplyDeleteLmao...surrender indeed
DeleteHe must be a policeman
This stella na yeye lol
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHe was spoking with you to help him finding a very beariful and good wife.
Why are you nau tolding us wetin you speaking with him here. Lol.
English hard.
Abi cold catch the dude.
Closes friends turn enemy, this dude no go forgive you StellaKork if he sees this o.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Ewu! First to comment. Cuz i'm happy. Ewu! Ewu! Ewu!
ReplyDeleteChizoba, mountain goat.
DeleteYou have Dual Personality Disorder.
With your pus-tipped face.
Ur jst a clown mehn.ewu ewu ewu
DeleteI have a feeling that the Joseph guy was just faking his English to filter some ppl of his potential mailing list. Read his advert again, some words are out of place eg he said 'presently'. An Illiterate won't use that word and some other adjectives.
ReplyDeleteNnem ure intelligent.
DeleteHe is not oh. Go and check him out on facebook. Its still the same writing style with plenty "gbagaun-ing".
DeleteSeem like the same person, I just realized now now, that stellas number is here...
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahaha...
ReplyDeleteKikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikik ...
Hohohohohohohohoho......
This just made my night, choi!
Hahahahaha!! Na wa o
ReplyDeleteRent a novel for FREE this weekend
Visit cynthiakalubookclub.blogspot.com
Jayhem and her bini neighbors. Una do well o keep giving people more reasons to run Bini people down.
ReplyDeleteChizoba I honestly can't understand why you have to go all vulgar and dirty to make a point.
Other anons cussing miss jay out please bear in Mind that she has a right to either imagine these things and 'speak them into reality ' like most of u do in your church. As much as it's not directed personally at any of you.
Please give up and find a real fight.
Tenant landlord superiority complex ar all petty Fights.
There's proof from both of u that you both have street experiences and some old competition going on but stop disturbing us. Text each other if u can't grow past it.
Stop being gutter girls even if u were before.
It was fun while it lasted. Move on.
EFE
@anonymous u are a bad guy or girl lol
DeleteUr comment sha
Vulgar and dirty...daz my style of commenting..deal with it.
DeleteLmao...."the anons cussing miss jay out please bear in Mind that she has a right to either imagine these things and 'speak them into reality ' like most of u do in your church. "
DeleteStella, u sure say no be Joseph call u.? Biko, d guys needing helps. Be closes to him. Hahaha
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLol. I just read In House News, terrible. Mud slingling, left right and centre. I had to take cover oooo b4 all the yama yama and yansh opening flying about hit me, shior!
ReplyDeleteI'm scared of BVs here o.
The Joseph guy is pretending jor, he's looking for a sincere lady.
Posh B,if you do not want your matter to be tabled
Delete1. Keep ur private life private
2. Do not attack people unnecessarily
3. KEEP YOUR ACTIVITIES PRIVATE.
Hahahahahahahaha,What!That guy just murdered english.
ReplyDeleteFunny
ReplyDeleteRoftl
DeleteOkay ooo. Am making my own call soonest. Hhhmmmm what will I want you be to me...let me think. Then I will call. Lol.
ReplyDeleteBuhahahahahahahah no be small closes friend oooo
ReplyDeletePeople get time sha hian na by force to speak english?
Stella u no well ooooo. The only Generals' wife, I say make I hail you back. I read IHN but I don tire to dey shout IHN rock so na to read pass and say prayers to all. To type these days tire me, I prefer to read and laugh. Make myself join dey drop names Mrs BB I hail, Sisi Lawyer no update from you, able Manna Bee the tide will soon crest for you. Lemme disappear for now. God bless you all.
ReplyDeleteEheheh I follow u dey observe o. Too much drama. Nothing wey person fit talk than to read and be exceedingly amused by the disjointed fracas. I shudder at the extent that people will go to reduce themselves to nothing on the damn blogosphere. But do I enjoy being entertained, u bet. If they won't stop, who am I to stop enjoying the ish at their expense? Na so.... I observe on.
DeleteBut at least hr communicated now Stella.
ReplyDeleteLindahrisfashion.blogspot.com
Looooool
ReplyDeleteHahahahha.. Epic
ReplyDeleteHahahahahhaha
ReplyDelete'Engrish' no be our ancestors language joor
I dey church..night vigil
God please keep me awake oo
This one wey i don dey yawn anyhow..
@Chi Exotic. I saw ur comment abt your constant headache
I used to be that way..
I had an accident n hit my head.
It was crazy
My family used to be so scared.
There was no doctor I didnt see..
I was living off drugs
Bt God healed me..
Just keep praying and believing. .
The God that healed me will surely heal you.
E-hugs
I like it that u used 'was' for everything u said. Thank God its all past. I used to have such headaches 4 so I know wat u mean.
DeleteLolzzxx
ReplyDeleteLmao ..........What?
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahah....
ReplyDeleteKwakwakwakwa.....
Hohohohoohohohohoh....
Am sure Joseph is Kajad man...
Choi i remember kajad man..I wonder where he went to.Missed his comments.
DeleteGood evening Stella. This is a CALL.OUT TO THE ELECTORAL OFFICER OF INEC EGBEDA LOCAL GOVERNMENT IN IBADAN.
ReplyDeleteSomething happened today and I'm so pissed off. I, and a lot of other people applied for the post of the ad hoc staff for the oncoming election. We were duly screened and sent text messages. We had our training at Bishop Phillips Academy, Iwo road, where another list was pasted. Now, time to pay, they didn't send any message but somehow, people got to hear about it. Within yesterday and today, and they come to start spewing trash??
OK... They started payment late at about past 12noon and only ONE person was doing the payment(I'm sure it was intentional)The man MR SODIQ paid about 50 people and then it was past 5pm, he said the mony had finished??? Like seriously??? He didn't even care to address us. Meanwhile, the list was already getting to about 400.
They locked themselves inside the INEC office and called the police. When we all demanded that the E.O should address us, she came and said they cannot pay everybody for the training!
After so much, another set of police with guns and their oga came. It was then he asked her to come and address us. She (the Electoral officer) said she would table the case to her seniors and was trying to be tactical about when we should come back. Till she said Tuesday.
I'm angry in my spirit cos I know what my kids and I are going through. Living virtually from hand to mouth and now some idiots want to steal the little I worked for?? God will judge them. Mr Sodiq, wherever u are, I know u are the brain behind this, u greedy thief! The cry of my baby would speak against you! Until u do the right thing, u would NEVER have peace.
I'm very sorry.
DeleteMay God compensate you.
However,Your cusses on here wont work.
Just pray that his destiny gets nailed to a coconut tree by one of the toes he has stepped on.
You know how hard the bark is. It wont fall off
He'd be doomed for life. That's what should befall thieves.
will call to spoke wt u too so u can be my uncloses friend, u hear? grammar no be my language pls bear wt me
ReplyDeleteThe 'closes guy' who called me and Joseph looking for wife are not the same people,i guess i didnt explain enough.The Joseph guy read in house news and called to tell me he was serious about looking for wife cos it seemed from comments no one took him serious,i asked him to check his in box,he hadnt cos he just closed from work.
ReplyDeleteThe gbagaun guy is someone else,the Joseph had an authoritative abi na commanding voice sef..lol
I got you!!
DeleteMy belle ooo, I no fit laff.....kikikikiki
DeleteJoseph shud go to d village and look for wife na!
DeleteAbi is that not why alot of igbo gals travel every Xmas?
To find ozzband?
Abeg, oga Joseph, go ur village o!
Stella congratulobia on ur acquisition of a new closes friend!
Choi! Stella u be real case o.
DeleteBwahahahahahahaha.. @ commanding voice.
Commanding voice with nonsense English. Yeye
DeleteLmao.
DeleteThat's how "they" usually have commanding voice.
I guess Joseph was so overwhelmed with the volume of mails in his box, he's still there perusing.
Very funny....
ReplyDeleteBlondie....
The Joseph guy,can't you scope girl on your own one on one!!that's one of the best way to get a woman
ReplyDeleteMr Joseph might be better than some of you here,whose hubby uses to learn boxing. or even better than some of you whose spouses cannot feed or rather has become housemen. He might not know how to speak english but might make a good husband.
ReplyDeleteAs for some of you who are single,keep mocking him until you find yourself unmarried at 40.
Stella dear,all fingers are not equal.so many didnt get the oppournity you had.i know its meant to be a joke,but somebody's confidence could be murdered by this.
Tips:::If i were single,i will rather marry a man like joseph and be sure of being treated like a queen than marry a so called educated man who will not respect me.
Gbaaaaaaaammmm! Dont mind all these girls here forming tush..People like Sunshine who is desperate for a husband need not look further..Joseph fits her perfectly..Ugly girl like her.
DeleteSo being an illiterate automatically translates to being a good man?
DeleteEducated men and Respectful men are now mutually exclusive?
Set your bar higher Dear.
@ GD, the lady ain't single, I don't know why you asked her to set her bar higher. She never said being illiterate translates to been good. Educated men and Respective men are mutually exclusive if not we won't be reading all manner of tales from this blog. That is why Stellakork had to add chronicle of hope for her readers to know we have good men still existing. Her comment only encouraged people to see beyond the superficial. The gbaguan I read from some bvs comment alone is enough to cause a severe headache but I do not loose the message passed across. Thank you.
Delete*respectful*
DeleteDear Lovelace,
DeleteThanks and points noted.
1. Setting your bar higher has nothing to do with marital status but about how you view issues.
Some BVs' bad grammar is a non issue for me. I won't even comment about it because this blog is open to all. Insisting on having a relationship with an educated man is a matter of choice and that decision has absolutely nothing to do with how the man turns out later. Yeah, it's serious enough to be a deal breaker.
So I insist the 2 traits are not mutually exclusive and so we don't have to choose between an educated man and a respectful man.
I'm sure we all know lots of educated men who respect women. You gave credence to this in your statement about all hope not being lost with Chronicles of hope. The Chronicles of sad relationships here do not define everything going on in real life. What's more? Some posters have been known to embellish stories here while omitting their contributions to the sad state of things.
Thank God you said this blog is open to all. Setting one's bar higher to me is relative because we all come from different walks of life. Being deficient education wise should not be serious enough to be a deal breaker, may be for you it is. Thanks I understand your point. Much love.
DeleteSo Lovelace u corrected urself under anonymous kwa? Dats hw una go dey reveal unasef...switching back n forth. Hian Hian Hian. Jagbajantis!!!!
Delete@ anon, indeed something dey worry you. You wish.
DeleteAmen to your prayers @Bv CoCo.
ReplyDeleteLove you bae.
Hahahahhaaa pls some ppl should just stop murdering English. If u can't speak, pls use ur native language. We will understand bc English is not our mother tongue. Haaaahaa my ear drum nearly explode.
ReplyDeleteHello my lovelies! TGIF indeed! It's been one heck of a crazily busy week, no thanks to the judiciary workers suspending their strike action and all! A trailer load of work cascaded on my table like an avalanche! *phew!*
ReplyDeleteI did miss this blog, though, and all my sweethearts *blowing e-kisses to y'all*. Earlier this evening, I tried reading certain posts to catch up on what I've missed but with the number of comments and the controversial hostility on some issues ...I realised it would be an effort in futility so I had to stop. Dear God! Some of the comments I read could cause a nursing mother's brest milk to stop flowing. I guess some people have an acquired taste for...(I'll leave it hanging for lack of a better word).
As for the guy who wants an educated wife, perhaps he needs a partner who can motivate him to speak better or even teach him. If he's lucky to find a lady who loves him or has the potential to love him, you'll be amazed at how fast his spoken and written English would improve. However, the catch is, he must have a lot going for him in other departments. It would be unfair and slightly evil to want an educated and well bred lady to be your wife if you can't "razzle dazzle" her with love and attention, dedication to religion, discipline, wealth, good looks, snazzy dress sense, good manners, impeccable hygiene etc. Young man, I honestly hope for your sake, you excel in at least four of the aforementioned areas. If not, your intentions may be considered less than honourable. God speed!
They have come again ooo a trailer load of work cascaded on her table like an avalanche. Please Ronalda for the love of Christ what is slightly evil for the man to wish for a person to elevate his status, can you qualify evil, the bible says there is no lesser SIN or EVIL in the eyes of God. The aforementioned provisions to you will guarantee a happy home or a good husband. The guy is honest enough to present himself the way he is and you dishonorably discharged his intentions with your fickle comment. Stella posted some male bvs observations that some ladies on this blog really need to overhaul their character, I also read some female bvs tales of how they single handedly destroyed their relationship and advised we ladies to look inwards and mend our ways. What if the guy accept one of these wide horses and he sends in his tale in broken english, I hope you will be there with your outrageous grammar to defend the educated woman. A woman's fish may be another woman's chicken vice versa. God speed.
Delete*wild*
DeleteDon't mind Ronalda. Pretentious superficial wannabe. Keep wallowing in ur self sufficience and save us the tales. No one ask u anything here wey u dey talk long thing. Get a grip of urself lady. Msheew
DeleteYou guys will be so shocked at who Joseph really is. Its just a ploy.
ReplyDelete