Chronicle Of HOPE - 7

The chronicles of hope stories are so long that i can only use one a day.Please be patient if you sent your story in okay?

PAINS AND REJECTION MADE ME STRONG AND RESISTANT

I was born into a rough polygamous home where each mother was responsible for her kids. My mum happens to be first wife, the only wedded one and the only educated one. So I don't need to tell you what she went through in the hands of the half baked and fully illiterate ones. They were three wives in all but there was constant harvest of illegitimate children and influx of concubines. My father should be in his late 70s now but the kids are still coming.

My mum did everything to make us, her three kids go to school up to masters degree level before she let us marry. My step sisters and brothers didn't waste time to begin their own harvest of babies too. 

Then I met my husband. He was nice, kind, but not what most women would wish for. He is not on the tall side, (5.5" tall, while I'm 6ft), looked underfed, his complexion was like he had bleached his skin and suffered effects, age was not on his side. Before him, I kept a passive boyfriend whom I dated to satisfy curiosity of friends and classmates since I didn't associate with any guy and they began to call me a lesbian. But I saw him only a few times in a semester. The relationship had a natural fade out.

As soon as my husband saw me (in the school canteen) he told his friends he was getting married that year. They laughed hard, that he didn't even have a babe. He said he just saw one. Then he walked up to me and that's how the chase started. I ran! I dodged! I hid! But he always had a way of sniffing me out. To cut the story short, we got married in November that year, on my birthday.

Then I got pregnant and the beastly side of the angel popped!! He would snap at everything I did. He told me to move to the next empty bedroom as he couldn't share the masters bedroom with me, bloating like that. I cried out my eyes and heart. If he saw me eating, it was another trouble. To watch TV nko? Wahala! 

He let me use the costliest of his vehicles and made sure I had my own driver, guards and maids. But in their presence, he would insult me and insult my mother. My father was a major pebble in his catapult. The guards and maids began to make fun of me. I had to disperse them, including the driver. I fainted many times during pregnancy but even if he stood beside me, he would send driver to take me to hospital and he would call the doctor to keep me there so he could rest. I did his laundry, I cooked his meals diligently, in spite of all these but nothing changed.

I didn't open my mouth to tell anyone. I bore everything. I'm sure my mum noticed some things when she came after I had my baby but since I didn't talk, she didn't talk either. Hubby made me jump at the sound of his footsteps. If I touched his door, he would call me names including prostitute!! I bore this until I made up my mind one day to move my things out of the room. The last thing on my mind was going back home because my step siblings and their mums will be very glad to make jest of me and my poor mum. I stayed. It got worse. He started coming in late. I began to prefer when he was in dubai(he  co-owns a shoe factory with his cousin in dubai). I didn't miss him any more. I persuaded him to stay more in dubai because he still sent money regularly for his kid so what did I need his presence for?  

Since I got pregnant, he stopped touching me. He said I shouldn't even dress in his presence. So no more sex. My baby turned three and we were yet to have another baby. The thought of the maltreatment in the first experience didn't allow me crave another baby. Then he became all nice.  Taking me out, buying gifts, bought a brand new Rav4L for me. That night he took his pay and I got pregnant with the second baby. And same situation was replayed. I flogged myself. When the baby was weaned,  I dusted my certificate and began looking for job with my masters degree in economics and got meagre offers only. Then one night, I decided I would talk to God.  (Hubby was on his usual trip. He had never invited me and I didn't bother. But I heard he always travelled with different ladies). I prayed and cried. The next morning hubby sent his cousin with Canadian visa application forms for me and kids. Of course, I didn't fall for that. I didn't do anything about it.

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I have always been creative and decided to start something with my talent. With my little fund (20k), I bought few things I could start event decoration with. Almost nothing. I hired most of my materials. But my work was perfectly creative and I got clients fast. Then I was able to get my own materials and even import high grades. I tried my hands in baking and my work awed so many. Business grew very fast.

Hubby returned to Nigeria and saw how busy I was and he was shocked. I was successful too.   He was dumbfounded. For the first time in 11yrs, hubby hugged me. For the first time in our married life, hubby gave me a kiss. For the first time in 11yrs, hubby took me out to romantic candle light dinner. I was sceptical at first. I couldn't loosen up. I wasn't sure what he wanted. But I played along stiffly. He then came up with wedding vow renewal. I thought it was a joke. But it turned out the biggest event I ever had and people still talk about it.  

He has moved my mum from that barrack where kids don't stop flowing, to a new bungalow he built . He said he wants her to have her sanity. He doesn't stop gushing about his "pretty, diligent wife" to his friends.  I have become his hand bag.  ‎

It's  been 10years since I had that last baby and trust me, there's been no sex in my marriage since then. I felt bad in the beginning  and craved his touch but he shoved me away.  I spent nights crying, but now I know celibacy doesn't kill. In fact, I feel freer as I don't have to fear STDs and uninvited pregnancy. The sex was even a torture because I was so scared of him. I have taken that part of my life as a non-existent.

 He's still so loving inspite of my reservations. Sometimes I can't believe it's real. Who is the living being now that has guts to talk to me anyhow? I only have to tell him and the person has the rest of his/her life to regret. He calls me his jewel. If he travels without me, he doesn't stay for long anymore. He said I make decisions that yield positive results. Only now I have begun to enjoy my marriage. One thing- my pains have made me strong and resistant.

WOW