We all need Solomon's wisdom dont we?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
EXTREMELY CONFUSED ABOUT THE FUTURE....
Dear BVs, I never thought I'd be this confused in choosing my future. I am a girl in my mid twenties. I get easily bored with people around. At the initial stage I am all into u, enthusiastic, but if you start to do things I dont enjoy anymore, I become bored. And when i'm bored, I just wanna extricate myself from u. Mid last year I reconnected with a man I had known since 2012. He asked me out when we first met then, but I preferred us being friends because I thought he was too short and also because of his kind of job.
So we kept in touch once in a while as friends till mid last year when the friendship became intense, one thing led to the other, we started dating. Those first months, we were cool, I liked seeing him often as we weren't living very far from each other. Then I got a new job, one that made me close as late as 8pm. Our seeing became sparse.
He wasnt caring anymore, barely talk on phone, he wouldnt visit unless I do. And when I do its just so boring, we sit in the room, talkn, see a movie, sleep or make out. We never went out say like hang out. Everything about him became boring. He never gave me money, or bought me things other than the watch he gave me on my birthday. He wouldn't go out, attend events, visit friends coz he didnt even have any. We never went out. Jeez it was such a boring life.
My mom liked him becoz he's prolly from same town as me. got bored and met someone else outside d country. This one got me so well. We'd gist about anything, with him I dont get to explain my sentences or words. He was smart in the head. Conversation with him was awesome. Though he was this rough kind, but I liked him. Nvr got a dime from him or gifts, coz I understood that he was still trying to find his footing.
Then he proposed on the phone, said he was coming home in February, and he would get me committed when he does. I became skeptical about it as he planned moving over to Germany after two months in Nigeria. Said things working out fine in Qatar. This would take time coz he has to get his balance as well, and I am not about to be tied down by a man who would prolly never come back, so I got bored and started to withdraw. Then someone connected me to another guy. This one seem so nice, may have gotten all I need except for money, but would have disregarded that, as a bright future is what matters. Now he tells me he may be a pastor in future. He is so serious about marriage, would come with his folks the minute I give a go ahead.
He is decent and I am sure he would make a faithful husband. He is willing to wait till marriage before consummation. But I dont wanna be a pastor's wife. Its the last thing I envisaged in my life, I dont even want to leave the Catholic church. I cant be the role model women in church look up to. Cant stop wearing trousers, making up, or fixing weavon. I would love to sometimes have the outdoor activities. He has promised to give me fun, be crazy with me, get naughty sometimes, go out. But he says he cant do ungodly things like clubbing. Told him i'd like to club. All my years as a youth, I havent been to the club coz i've always been like, it would be more fun and unquestionable when yo club with your husband not a boyfriend. So i'm at the verge of getting bored again. I am confused BVs, please advise me. Dont worry you're welcome to cuss me out, I prolly deserve it.
I am sorry,all through reading i was LMAO!....Get yourself busy darling and try go for deliverance from the spirit of boredom and confusion.lol
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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE...DOES IT WORK?
My Fiancee and I have known each other for more than 7years but only dated for 2 years plus. He proposed last year christmas and i was the happiest woman in the world. So before you wonder what my problem is let me tell you.
During my Nysc i served in Edo state and i got retained in my place of primary assignment. My job and pay are both amazing winks ;-). My fiancee does not work but does family business in Aba and his dad pays him something every month.
Now that its time for us to get married, my fiancee doesn't want me to quit my job because he knows how much i love my job and how much it would help our family BUT HE wants us to have a distant marriage where we would live apart because of our jobs. He said after all some people who work in the rigs work there 2 weeks straight without seeing their families so he thinks we can do the same.
Please I want to ask BVs for advice, especially those who have experience and knowledge in my predicament. Should i start my marriage living away from my husband?.. is there any trick to make it easy and less lonely? Is it something i should even consider doing? what happens when i am pregnant and we have children? I need to know if this is do-able.
I never thought i will live apart from my husband and i honestly do not want to but I really love my fiancee. We planned on getting married in June before he dropped this bomb on me on valentines day and ever since we have been having issues and my fear is if we don't resolve this we may break up, he is the love of my life. what do i do SDK family ?
Is anyone reading this now in a long distance marriage that is working out fine?
If you are really into someone,even 24 hours is never enough talk less of living apart in different towns,its not easy so know exactly what you are going in for and be emotionally prepared for the trials.Good luck!
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NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
BUYING PROPERTY AS A COUPLE
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
BUYING PROPERTY AS A COUPLE
Dear Stella
I love what you are doing on your blog and i pray for God's blessings over you and your entire lineage.
Please i need contributions from my fellow blog visitors on an issue bothering me.
I have been married to my husband for two years now and my marriage has been beautiful to the glory of God. We are of different tribe and we are believing God for the fruit of the womb and we trust that this year is our year in Jesus name. We are in the process of buying our first property and i am contributing the whole 100% for the purchase since my hubby doesn't have funds to contribute for now towards the purchase of the property.
Please fellow bvs and lawyers in the house, whose name should be on the title deeds.
Thank you all as i await your advice.
YOUR NAME IN CAPITAL LETTERS......YOUR NAME ALONE!
Poster Number 3: I am a lawyer. Your name! And your name alone!!!
ReplyDelete3 chronicles in a day.. That's kinda rare!
DeleteN1... U are still confused because you haven't met the "one" yet.
N2... Long distance marriage can work But not for long once u start having kids things have to change. Just pretend u are still dating, Married But living single.
N3... For the sake of your future self , kinds and we the future readers of stories that touch pls we know It's kinda hard and your hubby might be feeling bad. Pls just put it in your Name or mother's Name.
Marriage is not small child's play. Poster 3, I think you should just chill jor, in other not to hurt his feelings, just come up with a story that you can't buy that property again because if you buy it in your name, trust me, he'll feel bad even though its not his money. All this men, one has to thread very carefully. Maybe just tell him you are skeptical about it for now, and you want to follow your guts. When he has money to contribute, you guys should now do it together please.
DeleteLemme just read comments from experienced married people sha.
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Trust your gut. It's right more often than you think
@Mosi_Tash_Jazzy
Gbam!
DeleteMy sister, don't dull o!
Poster one:plz stick to one person and stop moving from one to anoda......my advice is dat u stick to d person dat makes u hapi......so bcuz of clubbing dat is y u are rethinking.......abeg if u wan club play high music for ur house make u and am dance...na club b dat
DeletePoster two: plz tink about dis decision very well.....it is not easy to b in a long distance relationship.....talk much more of marriage.....is either he leaves his job and look for anoda in ur state or u look for a job in his own state.......but all d same d decision is in ur hands
Poster three: for u to write dis it shows u don't trust ur Hubi and u have not accepted wat d bible says about u people becoming one.....for me I tink ur moni is for d both of u and as such his name Shud also b included.....come to tink of it...wat if he was d one dat brought 100% of d moni...and wen he bought d property he wrote only his name how wud u feel## DO WAT U WANT ODAS TO DO TO U##
Ok I hv been quite busy buh lemme drop something
Delete@poster 1, I used to actually think the way you do right now, and I learnt something from it
Never compromise your happiness for any guy
If you don't like boring people, don't settle for any boring person
If you like having fun,wait for that fun person
Don't rush
Cos I know marriage ain't a bed of roses o
@poster2 it depends on so many things,
You don't have to quarrel over this
If you ain't cool with being in a distant union,you can tell your hubby-to-be to relocate, or you quit your job(which I wouldn't advise you to)
@poster3 hmm it depends on your relationship with your husband
But as for me, I will write my name in BLOCK letters o
P3, if you can just chill, its better you buy it in your children's name sef. Or rather, let it Mrs and Mr XYZ. Haha.
Delete.
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Trust your gut. It's right more often than you think
@Mosi_Tash_Jazzy
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deleteposter 3 Plz ur name alone i beg u
DeleteStella Bae, the narratives are a very interesting and unique part of this blog. I no dey carry am joke. Please I'm appealing that you should only post two stories a day or make two narrative posts if there are more than 2 stories. Na beg I dey beg. Cos by the time I finish reading the 3rd story I'll have forgotten the first two. And I don't joke with chronicles at all. I can forgo my breakfast for it. Pls I suggest if there are more than 2, you make 2 different posts, not just during weekends alone. So that we can digest them very well. Thank you
Deleteone love
Pulls ** Auto correct by the ears' why??
DeleteI meant * it was as if ** lolzz
@ poster 3, don't even play like that! Which kain "queshion" be that na? Stop it ooo! I'm sure you know d answer to that question, don't vex me!
ReplyDelete@ poster 2 me thinks your man is being reasonable, cos forget love ooo if you leave d job and move to aba. No money, more problems! Stay @ ur job post, it won't be 4eva. In time, y'll will figure it out.
@ poster 1, abeg ur story too baby!
Poster 1: idi kwa confused
ReplyDeleteI think you should sit down and decide on what you want
Poster 2: hmmm...long distant marriage??
From the first year??
You guys should work things out and have him relocate and start the business there with you
I hope thus works out and you guys stay together
I don't like the arrangement.
Poster 3:
Hmm
Madam. The two are meant to be one.
That's how it's meant to be.
But then...your getting 100%, so put your name. and make your husband the next of kin.
But ask for God's wisdom
He would lead you
Mma cee I have a crush on you!
Delete3rd narrator, ehhm, do u really trust ur husband? Tink abt it and decide.
ReplyDelete2nd narrator,Plss dear, dnt leave seperately from ur husband.
1st narrator, pray for God's guidance.
Kindly visit:
Pamscrib.blogspot.com
Poster 3,my money,my name except of cours I know you will have the money soon enough to pay me back
ReplyDeletePoster 2,u know what's best for you and what you can tolerate.I personally can't do a long distance rlship
poster 1-
ReplyDeleteif your are fun loving exciting girl, don't commit to that man else your life will take a twist to a whole new level of boredom and then you will begin to hate and despise him more and more...
your Partner should be at least be half of what you want in a man.
you hate boredom and you want to commit to a boring man???
poster 2-i don't subscribe to living apart especially when you just get married.
Poster 3- The deed should be named Mr his name and Mrs Your name, and surname (maka wada ama ama.)
Hahahahaha bloggie are u a "u a di Ka" aka delta igbo
DeleteP1: Don't stop doing the things that mk ur relationship fun in d beginning. Look for more ways to spice it up.
ReplyDeleteP2: I don't live with my hubby. It's OK atimes but most times, you'd just want to have ur own home...ur family underneath 1 roof.
P3: Rightly said, Stella.
Will be reading comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: all tru your uni days, you didn't club with your friends?
Is that strange?
DeleteI didn't either.
DeleteN1- Good Advice From Stella.
ReplyDeleteN2- Long Distance Relationship Is Not for me at all, but it sure works for CHIDI MOKEME, OSI UKEJE and the likes, so it could work for you.
N3- if you use your name alone, his Ego will dampen and could affect your Marriage, why not use your both names E.g MR AND MRS STELLA DIMOKORKUS STELCH.. Lol, I don't know if that Helps..
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.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
Stella Dimokokorkus stelch.... Loool, funny u
DeleteHmmm,d confused poster,don't marry d pastor...then learn how to seal ur pussy,u are such a sex machine!
ReplyDeleteThe poster who talked about long distance marriage,,Ur hubby is a lazy Man,his mates will try and secure a job for their spouse and plea d relocate...
Ur husband has gold diGging tendencies. Abeg!
Poster 3;I shake my head for u,,if u like be a mugu and use his name,"O ga eme gi vummm nanya".
Focus on conceiving and leave properties along for now.
#Finebabe no blackspots,but plenty pimples.
N3 your name alone pls to avoid stories that touch and why are you buying the house and not your hubby, watchout so he doesn't use it against you later o.
ReplyDeleteN1 you need deliverance
N2 I live in UK and my hubby in naija tho he comes uk as much as he can which is not often but I know he kind of man he is so I trust him. It depends on the kind of man ur hubby to be is and only you know him. Don't get it twisted I just refuse to keep myself busy thinking about what he is doing in naija omo I cannot come and collect hbp my son is only 6 months abeg.
Narrative 1: Girl, u are vry funy...Get a life nd stp talking abt being confused nd Bored. Narrative 2: Hmmm, I dnt encourage any couple to go into a long distant relationship...My aunt is into it nd its not funy, every tym she is always suspicious of her husband. Narrative 3: am speechless on ur case
ReplyDelete@ poster 1: what you are is not called boredom but confused.you don't know what you actually want.take being confused to being bored.you see yellow you want it.the next minute you feel like having red and it goes on. sit yourself down and ask yourself what actually do I want and stop confusing yourself.
ReplyDeleteposter 2&3 will come bk and comment when I charge my phone.
@ Narrative one: while U was reading... Its like u were talking about me.... Apart from the fact that am totally single and don't Ve any pending proposals.... In fact I wonder where am going to find that love of my life.... I can't give any advises ryt nau... But if u really search deep down inside u and focus on what is important, u will find d answer. #hugs.
ReplyDeleteEver wondered maybe the love of ur life got stuck in a condom?
DeleteI do....
And we are also alike....
I hate boring relationship....
Xoxo,sassy.
Stella my sister,dig up this story abeg,i hear sey, infact I don see am,the pic of Tonto dike's MRx wedding photos white and trad oooo, JESUS!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my!!! 3 chronicles and my head cant think of what to say??? arrrrrhgg....say something!! will be back to comment.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you are funny though.
Most Beautiful Model In Nigeria Contest Registration Is On....
Be right back to read chronicles of blog visitor!!!!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteAll 3posters una men broke
Na wa
Don't complain sha when y'all shoulder all d responsibilities.
P1, pray hard.
P2 ur own man will impregnate u n u will train d kids since u ain't living together n his father is paying him "something"
P3 buy d house in ur name
If ur DH complain, tell him it's ur own money,
Guys ain't loyal *side mouth*
I'm tired..
Lemme watch saloni pls
U just brought out the words 4rm my mouth! U are my bestie as far as SDK blog is concern.
DeleteYour eye dey chook! Who tell u say na house
DeleteNo1: the best is yet to come for you just be calm abt it, thing wld fall in pace @ the ryt tym . No2: with time u pple wlld get urselves. No3: Hmmmmm. Better put ya name. Men are usless know that na only u and ur children love each other. Wake up
ReplyDeleteWhere are the guys???? Don't they have naRratives too
ReplyDeleteWhy narratives/problems from ladies all d time???
poster1:as stella said go for deliverance...or u pray urself outta it...some forces that dnt want u to settle down are behind it.
Poster2:long distance relationship hardly works then na marriage?...my dear if its a federal job try a transfer or better still quit or better still stay and let ur hubby move 2 Edo or better still.......
Poster3:pls pls in ur NAME....some men can be funny in this life.
N1 u need prayers, N2 long distance rship for me o doesn't work out bc I av seen many dt re doing dt, d guy will av a side chick n d wife will av a side guy. It doesn't work out o. It gives room fr temptation. N3 put ur name in capital letters or if u must add ur husbands name, it should be Nelly n Ken, don't u ever make d mistake of putting ur husbands name only on it o. Hmmmm dis world is wicked o. But I wish u well sha.
ReplyDeleteWhere are the guys???? Don't they have naRratives too
ReplyDeleteWhy narratives/problems from ladies all d time???
poster1:as stella said go for deliverance...or u pray urself outta it...some forces that dnt want u to settle down are behind it.
Poster2:long distance relationship hardly works then na marriage?...my dear if its a federal job try a transfer or better still quit or better still stay and let ur hubby move 2 Edo or better still.......
Poster3:pls pls in ur NAME....some men can be funny in this life.
Poster 3,since you're the one contributing the whole 100%,then your name should be on the title deeds.It would have been different if your husband was contributing anything but no he's not.Please put your name on it.
ReplyDeleteSee question. Pls affix ur name in cap letter mbok.. but how do ppl cope with jobless husbands biko? It must be tough.. May God see y'll through. *e-bear hugs #TGW.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteI always advise single girls to pray very very well before getting married....ask God to show you the bone of your flesh...
You see why it's always good to club and have fun when you are single so it won't start shacking you when you are in your husband's house....
Poster,pray!!!!....
Wait till you start having children and clubbing will be the last thing in your mind....
Poster 2,
Long distance marriage works!!!!...
One of My husband's colleague's wife stays in the east with their children....she has a very good job whim her husband is here in Lagos....
The man goes every weekend to see them....they have been married for 15 years now and still waxing stronger....
Marry him jare,no big deal....
Poster 3,...
The property will bear your husbands name....
Shine your eyes ohh....wait till you start having children before buying any property with him...
These men are not loyal...
If she waits till she starts having kids before giving birth then she might as well put the property in her child's name
Delete***@ poster 3*
ReplyDelete@poster buying property, if you knw wats good for u use ur name , don't ever I repeat ever use both names ....put ur name nd dad's name cos if u put Mrs something there can b a new " Mrs" tomorrow . Use ur head
ReplyDeleteNothing will happen if she uses her first and middle name plus d man's surname.
DeleteClick my name for rich, tasty yet affordable small chops, Finger foods and chapman for all events.(Lagos and Ogun states)
Poster 3- your name oh!
ReplyDeletePoster 2- My sis and her hubby have been living and working in different towns since they got married. They get posted to each others towns now and them and take every other weekend to visit one after the other. They are ALWAYS on the phone. Like crazy! And they spring surprises on each other a lot, surprise visits. They just had their first baby in the US and they both have AMAZING jobs. They have no the applied for transfers to each others towns. Still waiting for approval and believing God. With God all things are possible. Life isn't always black and white.
Poster 1- take a break. Don't date for a long time. Let love find you. You are really confused. Change location and take a break from dating. You don't love any of these guys. Your heart has to grow up.
@ poster 3: my dear your name please. we don't pray for anything to happen like death or divorce. but one has to guard herself well because of incasity( in old women for village language).hold your property oh.Your husband if he is a sincere; straightforward and understanding man; he will not argue about that.save yourself my dear for the future.no one can be trusted hundred percent.leave love and submissive matter for this one
ReplyDeleteHmmm marriage matter is just like MTN 'everywhere you go'.
ReplyDeleteEe-phi-cee!
Shanghe!
P3. If you want to buy a property, let it be in your name. Only if he decides to pay back 50% which needs to be declared in writing and sign. But 2 years is too short to take the risk. I will do written agreement if its 10 yrs married. Your call
ReplyDeletePoster 1, have been in ur shoes b4. Bt pray God will help u out.Poster 2; am in a long distance marriage and I can tell u its nt easy, if I can turn bck d hands of tym I wouldn't venture into it. It so fustrating and boring. Don't try it if u don't want 2 be sad
ReplyDeletePoster 3! Your name! Not mrs okereke or giwa or shanahan! Not Mr$Mrs! It's your house!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 1.lol @ i dont want to b a pastor's wife.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.if u are so attach to him then it wont work.
Poster3,like stella said.UR NAME IN CAPITAL LETTERS.lol u sef stella u sabi advice oh.lwkmd
Poster 1: dis ur bored state na wa o. Try and keep urself busy. I think u av nt found d right man 4 u dat's why
ReplyDeletePoster 2: distant marriage? A new couple? *lips sealed*...if I were u, I would not go into it tho it works for sum pple
Poster 3: plz ur name and ur name alone o. When u give birth, den ur next of kin should be d child. #dat's all
Sign out...STELLA KORK( hahahaha)
narrative1....Aint nothing wrong in being a pastor's wife, they do all those things you mentioned ok.
ReplyDeletechoose one already and move on
Narrative2.....I don't think the distance is gon be forever, you can work something out along the line besides its benin to Aba or I'm I wrong? you could do weekend visits and vice versa....Just saying
Narrative3.....hmmmn LOVE DEY SHACK YOU ABI
You better buy that property in your name or wait till the baby comes then name it after your child/children to avoid stories that touch in future.
Poster 3 re u just coming? Please ur name and ur name alone cos men re unpredictable.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 it works oooo but it all depends on the individuals involved.
Poster 3 Go on your knees and ask for wisdom.good luck
Narrator 3 --- put the property in your name not your husband name oo. we dont want to hear more chronicles for una again.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2 --- long distance work for some and not for others. If you have trust in the man and you want it.. then go for it but if not forget about long distance oooo. i know what i went through in long distance relationship. it does not pay.
Narrator 1 --- you need deliverance from spirit of powerty... men wey no get money nai dey pursue you.. please reject and work on urself. Do what you know that will make you very happy. it is well
@p2 u need not worry am in a long distance marriage and am a happy woman @first it wud look too hard BT with gym ud get used to it. As long as u both love each other u av nothing to worry abt
ReplyDeleteI am speaking as a lawyer so listen up, STELLA IS RIGHT!
ReplyDeleteYour name and your name alone should be on the documents. The love is sweet now but no one knows tomorrow. If you put his name on the documents and he leaves you tomorrow there is little to nothing you can do about it.
DO NOT BE FOOLISH and don't let him bully you into including his name in the documents. Make sure you make all the payments YOURSELF and get receipts in your name for EVERYTHING!!
yes oh @ narrative num 3 in your own name gurl all this hungry men rotating all round the world
ReplyDeletehahahahhaha...stelladkoko...you no even allow the babe land...hahahahhahaha...Nne, asa dvised by stella...put your name there o...make story no enter tomorrow but knowing men for who they are, he will start behaving funny. God will give you wisdm how to handle it.
ReplyDeleteehya STELLA y her name alone in capital letters? lol.. its prob wiser bcos some men aint loyal.... morova na u dey buy d property, not una.. ask him wht he tinks o. its btw two of u. dnt let our coments intrude
ReplyDeleteUNREPENTANT MISTRESS PT 6. ........Amaka is pregnant!!!!!
Amaka steps out of the Large office Complex and strolls towards her GOLD Range Rover.She has a weird expression on her face .
Several men(and a few women) follow her with their eyes as she goes by.The slutty AMAKA moves with all the 'Ease' of the Grand Mistress she is.She seems excited about something as she steps into the car.
For a few seconds she just sits there, allowing the Air conditioner's chill to fill the car.
LONG SILENCE.
Then she turns to us and says;
"I recently learnt that I am six weeks pregnant.Now I know what you're thinking;'How can the great Mistress let that happen?'
What? You've never made a mistake before??? My dear, even the great gods of Olympus made mistakes.So a Grand Mistress such as myself is no exception to the rule.
The next question is obvious,....'Who's the Father?'
Well here's what happened.
One of my clients is CEO of a TELECOMS Giant In Nigeria.His name is Alfred, and he resides in Port Harcourt. This dude has pockets deeper than the ATLANTIC, he has cars and houses in almost every major city in the world.
You know one of those TEE-SHIRTS with the funny inscriptions that goes; "MY MONEY' IS LIKE GRASS,IT GROWS EVERYWHERE?" Well that's what his money is like.
Guy bought me my first Range Rover just because he stood me up on our first date.
In this business, 'JUJU' comes with the job description.No self respecting Runs-chick comes into this business with 'empty-hand'.
It's like running a marathon in high-heels,....it just wont work. continue reading
Poster 2,long distance relationship is a whole lot of work,talk more of a long distance marriage..you've just Got to listen to your heart..
ReplyDeleteIf you are convinced in your heart that you can do it,go for it.if not,don't venture.
If you do choose to go for it,its not an easy ride..you can ask people that live apart from their husbands,it could be hellish..
I have a neigbour whose husband have been away for the better part of their two year marriage..
Her husband wasn't present when she put to bed,neither was he when their baby took her first steps..
Was absent when she started school..
The baby is two now..
He wasn't away because he chose to,it was because he couldn't tear himself away from work..
If you really do love and want to be with him,maybe you could think of relocating and resigning from your present job to be with him?
Otherwise..try to maintain the long distant thingy(lots of people are in it you won't be the first)
Poster 3,do you even need to ask?you buying a property with your hard earned money and you asking in whose name?pls put it in my name if you can't write down yours inugo?
Choo stella dropping it like is hot today ,todays chronicles ,abeg make i face my book before i fail on top chronicles matter .will come back to read comments oh
ReplyDeleteNarr 1 u really need 2 sit down 2 think about ur confused nature it won't help u in life at all
ReplyDeleteNarr 2 :hmmmmm.....its nt easy my dear am in a distant marrige 2 it takes d grace of God 2 wrk tru d emotions my dear and God's Grace
Narr 3; if I hear biko it shld b in ur name I knw u lurv ur hubby buh it's for future reasons
Poster 2: long distance marriage.. I don't like it at all at all... Kai. I have friends who r doing it but it can't be same as being together. Ur fiance wad talking abt those who work in the rig? Those ones hv 2wks at work and two weeks at home. So dt's even manageable. If u love Him so much, pray abt it, talk abt it. Can he move? How often wud u see each other a month. At some point someone will hv to move. U can start saving so u can join him up later and start a business. Just my 2cents. Btw which work are u doing in edo? Getting a job here hasn't been easy at all. Hook a sister up na biko
ReplyDeleteLemme sit back and read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, u hv to knw wat u want n go 4 it,exactly wat u felt about ur 3rd guy happened to me, so i undastand hw u feel concernin him. But pls in ru nxt relationship, be sure dat both of u hv dsame interest so dat u dnt get bored easily
ReplyDeletePoster 2 tink carefully b4 u decide. Cant ur fiance open his own business in Edo n hussle instead of dependin on wat he gets frm his dad? U might end up bein d one fending for d family in future.
Poster 3 i wil advice dat watever property u ar purchasing witout ur hubby contributing a dime, buy with ur name. if u must buy with his name, make sure u already hv one in ur name.U neva can predict future.
Poster 1, u hv to knw wat u want n go 4 it,exactly wat u felt about ur 3rd guy happened to me, so i undastand hw u feel concernin him. But pls in ru nxt relationship, be sure dat both of u hv dsame interest so dat u dnt get bored easily
ReplyDeletePoster 2 tink carefully b4 u decide. Cant ur fiance open his own business in Edo n hussle instead of dependin on wat he gets frm his dad? U might end up bein d one fending for d family in future.
Poster 3 i wil advice dat watever property u ar purchasing witout ur hubby contributing a dime, buy with ur name. if u must buy with his name, make sure u already hv one in ur name.U neva can predict future.
Bobby said;
ReplyDeleteI am about to cook egusi soup; fellow blog visitors which meat and which ogiri should I add? Kindly answer me those of you that have experience; thank you.
Bobby
Bobby Ya soup Neva burn finish?
DeleteI cook egusi soup all the time but have never heard of "ogiri". What's that pls?
DeleteBobby use beef and ogiri opei..
DeletePoster 1 sorry to say but if you dont stop this 'boring' stuff, you will keep jumping from one man to the other. Must every man be what you seek or play by your standards? Please rethink about this your mood swings and know that its really not natural.
ReplyDeleteposter 3 pls buy d property in ur name oooo. To avoid stories dat touch
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
One: i dey pity for yu i swear... Just keep doing ur thing and suitors will come searching for yu once more....
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Two: if yu were my sister i will say dont marry him o...
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Third: ur name abeg....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
P1. You are a naive goat. Your youth is yours to enjoy alone before getting married. Who is in the club judging you wether you are clubbing with boyfriend or husband? Dey there make pant wear you, Pastor Mrs.
ReplyDeleteNarrative one u indeed need deliverance. Narrative 2, it aint gonna be easy livin apart but havnt u saved enough money to start sometin in Aba or even look for a job there. Narrative 3, if possible use your maiden name.
ReplyDeleteHB said;
ReplyDelete@Poster 3; The question should be the other way round for poster 3; if your husband is contributing 100% of the funds for the property; whose name should be on it? Yes he asks you, whose name should be on it? Whatever you answer here, do likewise for it is good to do to others as you would like them to do to you.
HB said so.
Lol @ Stella's reply for poster 3.
ReplyDeleteIt's well. I will just wait for comments(fingers crossed).
p1...pls mk a decision ril quick(i dont think marryin a pastor is dat bad,u can mk compromises)..made a mistake somtym ago...still haunts me till now..
ReplyDeleteGod pls oo am still hubbyless.com,a NEW thing b4 disyr end..Thku in advance!!
p3...in ur own name cud cause som kinda friction(IMO..if u know d kinda man u gat..{trustworthy],it can b joint)buh if u kno his not jst"it"...OYO
lemme listen to others...Ronalda pls com bk na..ur comments kps me going!!
@ poster 1....pls pass dat ur pastor guy 2 me on code. I need his number and d name of his church cux have been hoping 2 get a pastor hubby all my life, Datx y av dump all my Oda suitors........... I av always dream of becoming a pastors wife
ReplyDeleteHmm clear case of one man'd food is another man'd poison
DeleteDis is wat av always been praying 4 all my life. Poster pls lemme av him. Probably his talk and ok.
DeleteDis is wat av always been praying 4 all my life. Poster pls lemme av him. Probably his talk and ok.
Delete1:
ReplyDeleteThis your persistent boredom will turn you into a serial cheat.
Free pastorpastor biko.
You didn't force the short guy that was always sleeping to the club, na poor pastor you wan force.
You don't know what you want.
Take some time out and find out exactly what you want.
2:
So you will be in the same Naija, what is long distance about that?
Where is the bomb?
And he is absolutely right. Oil companies' staff and lots of professionals fly in and fly out(2 weeks off,weeks on)
Relationships across 7 seas have been known to work if the 2 parties are committed.
The secret is communication. Calls, instant messaging, skyping etc.
It's easier in your case since your husband can visit every weekend.
Na wa for you o.
So you would have left a lucrative job and moved to Aba? Don't try it.
3:
"We are in the process". Meaning it's a joint decision.
You are one so you should do things together. Except he insists you put only your name, please put "Mr and Mrs". Both your first names and middle names must be clearly stated in case of unforeseen circumstances.
If he was the one with the cash and he put only his name on the property documents, will you continue being trusting and loving?
The above is on the condition that you have been doing your homework and found him to be consistently a responsible husband.
Spot on! Goldscent. U just type what I had in mind about poster 3.
DeleteGbam.....u re on point
DeleteOh stella,,,,,,,,,,@ ur advice to d 1st and 3rd poster thou! Meanwhile, #1, plz sit urself down n ans few questns abt urself n what u really want first, den u use elimination method of simultenously questn to solve dis puzzle dat used ur hand n created 4 urself biko. U tied ur self wit confusion, u alone can untie it! U must kw what to let go n what to hold on to plz,,,,,,,,,,,as 4 mi choose btw ur 1st guy n d last guy,,,,,,d oversea guy is nt an option plz. #2,,,,its not an easy road plz,,,,,,,is ur hubby d first son,,,,,,,let him set his own biz first bc its gonna be a diff ball game after marriage. Y u give him time to do that, stil hold to ur job n manage d distance as well as save more bc u will definitely join him when babies starts coming or when planning to get preggy. So let him start setting up his own biz soo to stablize bf al that##3 plz U re legally married,its d fear of d unknown dats d ish here. Y not seek ur hobbies opinion on documentation bc dis is a delicate issue plz. When u want ur personal property, codedly use ur name infact ur maiden name buh don't involve him. Becareful on dis so u don't put ideaz into his mind
ReplyDeleteI dont agree with you Mrs KORK on the 3rd poster, please the deed should bear both names(hubby and self) less he feels bad. If you trust him ooo
ReplyDeletePoster Nr 1... Stella nailed it when she said u Need deliverance. So bcos u wanna Club, u wanna rule out a Pastor as a husband. Choi!! world pple make una fear God oo and u saying u're a catholic sounds as if wat catholics do are outside what the bible teaches, like they are disguise themselves as being christians. Infact, you're a CHURCH GOER/VISITOR, not a CHRISTIAN.... get busy...my 2cent from a fellow Christian with a catholic Background. Pple like una na go use una Hand push wetin baba God give una aside and settle for wetin nor go last Long. mtwscheww
ReplyDeleteYour Name in capital letters.... Your name alone hun . I love you Stella Kork😄😄
ReplyDeleteStella what kind of advice is are you giving poster number 3? I think it should be for better or for worse so it should be Mr and Mrs on the title document.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know how wicked men can be. Their species is NOT loyal. For better or worse, then he'll throw her out & take charge.
DeleteWe still have some good men out dere dearie..
DeletePoster one ; pray!!
ReplyDeletePoster two; i'm in a long distance r/ship. Very long. As a matter of fact it's more than just a r/ship now cos we've completed stage one of marriage process. It's not easy. The consolation I have is by d time we'd be done with d church wedding we will have to be living together afterwards. If I understood your narrative clearly you would be living in Benin while your husband stays in Aba. My dear if you must go into it, if you must, you have to be strong emotionally. Also your husband can try looking for a job where you are or you do the same. Whatever it is you decide, pray and do what gives you peace.
@Poster one: I pray God delivers u from the spirit of boredom. But truth is, being a pastor's wife isn't easy o! I most times wish I could turn back the hands of time. Everything is so stereotyped. Even people who are obviously having the fun of their life, would want to dictate everything about u. U can't and shouldn't express any form of anger cos u are a PASTOR'S wife! A beg, think deep mbok. But then, work on yourself and pray.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 3, ask yourself this: "If my hubby was paying for this property 100%,whose name would he put on the title deeds?" plus you don't have children yet, God forbid something goes wrong in future. Please be wise.
ReplyDeleteFirst poster, you really got a problem you know? Confusion only limits you.
ReplyDeleteSecond poster, distance marriage is achievable. A lot of people have done it and are still doing it and it worked out fine. For others, it didn't. It depends on the level of commitment and responsibility between the both of you. Most bankers have distance marriage and it only lasts for a short while. Put it in prayers and stop beating yourself up about it. Let the will of God be done.
well since you love ur husband, and he loves u back and you two are now one,and more so he has been good to you,u can buy the house in both ur name in full boldly written.my two cents dou
ReplyDeletePoster 1, what exactly do you want? Only you can help you. Poster 2, mum is the word. Poster 3, abeg o, na your name o. Did you even have to let your husband know you were buying a property?
ReplyDeleteI get bored easily in relationships too, mine happens when the guy won't stop talking about marriage. Which 24yr old is scared of marriage anyways? ?? Lol
ReplyDelete@first narrator, I think we both need deliverance
Hmmm.may God help.us all
DeletePoster 1, what exactly do you want? Only you can help you. Poster 2, mum is the word. Poster 3, abeg o, na your name o. Did you even have to let your husband know you were buying a property?
ReplyDeleteBored Chica, you are not in love with any of these guys, so forget them for now. When your 'Prince Charming'(not the one in Shrek) comes, boredom will be out the window.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 1, lol you're just confused and aren't ready to settle. Trust me when you meet the "right" person boredom will take a moonwalk. Just relax and enjoy life.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2, compromise. If you can't see yourself in a distant marriage then quit your job and trust God to open another way for you. And if your fiance is hell bent on you keeping your job and having a distant marriage, then I don't know oh.
Poster 3 don't mind stella ooo
ReplyDeleteShe is giving you Abroad Advice. Babe you are a Nigerian and may be living in Naija. Babe if you ever try writing only your Name Oh my your Love from your hubby will reduce ooo. Whaala go start. this is one of the things that cause Whaala in most nigerian home. Pls write Mr & Mrs Your Hubby name, your name then you guys surname.
I know of plenty families it has caused whaala for, lead to divorce at the end. Wetin cause whaala for Ini Edo apart from other things we heard, Her House matter is the Koko.
Just be a Humble and loving wife. If at the end the Man wan fuck up u go treat him fuck up.
Atleast this is the first property maybe subsequential ones you fit put your name alone or Your Kids.
Marriage na una School ooo
One has to be smart and careful trading with these Men because they never forgive like OBJ Because if you dare do what stella has advised one day DH MUST remember you..
Poster one.. you are still a child.. u want to go clubbing, you want to have fun.. continu inugo.. i dont know what to tell you
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. Never ever ever leave your job.. sorry will be your name if you do.. Love is shaking you now and u feel like if u dont see your husband everyday ur heart will break into six.. Nne marriage is not like that.. sometimes u get so busy being a mum that u have to even make extra effort to have time with your husband.. Didnt they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.. long distant marriages work.. you will make urs work.. find a way.. think with your head pls not your heart.. am pulling your ears oh.. Never leave your job pls.
Poster 3.. Dont mind Stella inugo.. The names on the deed should be Mr Samuel and Mrs Sarah Obieze.. Thats the legal way to write names on deeds when couples buy properties together.. If the shoe was on the other foot and your husband decides to buy property in only his name how will you feel.. My frd will say... Ask urself if na me nko..
Narrative number #3
ReplyDeleteYour name alone as Stella rightly warned in upper case.
Except you are ready to share everything 50/50, plus he has automatic right to 50% share, I don't pray anything go wrong in your marriage. I know someone going through a nightmare right now on this similar issue. If his name is on the deed, then the deed is done.
It's your call don't say BV,s didn't warn you.
Narrative number #3
ReplyDeleteYour name alone as Stella rightly warned in upper case.
Except you are ready to share everything 50/50, plus he has automatic right to 50% share, I don't pray anything go wrong in your marriage. I know someone going through a nightmare right now on this similar issue. If his name is on the deed, then the deed is done.
It's your call don't say BV,s didn't warn you.
Poster 2: don't live apart from your husband. Long distance marriage is very difficult. Think about it before you commit. Why not start looking for a job where your dude is. You cannot put your work first over your marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: do not get a house if your husband does not have the funds yet. You two can wait until he is ready. But if you both insist then, make sure to protect your interest.
poster one you chop dog leg ni, three men in such a short time, i believe if you were busy you wouldn't have this issues. by the way what those the one moving to germany do.
ReplyDeleteposter two am not married so i'll slide by.
poster three, put your name in capital letters, shebi he paid your bride price who get wife naim get land.it just for your safety sha.
poster 3:pls love with your brains..LOVE with your head alone..I no fit shout i beg
ReplyDeletePoster 2 ur proposed hubby wants you to live apart so he wont have to take care of ur needs since u are working n salary is rolling in.i pity you becos oneday u ll come back and write another chronicle.ps:his father is stil feeding him.think well.
ReplyDeletePoster 3, I think your name should be on the deed with him as next of kin. He will understand. No reasonable man will depend on the wife property alone.
ReplyDeleteYour name in full caps, written in marker and photocopied 7times.. congrats in advance
ReplyDeleteWow.you know what?post 1&2 narrated my stiry.so let me give you my candid advice:
ReplyDeleteFirst when you look for a marriage partner you don't look for someone who will make you not to be bored.learn to be self sufficient all the time,and when a man tells you he isn't financially ok and wants to marry you tell him to go and make himself financially ok first before he returns.but,look well he doesn't have to be rich,just sensitive towards your needs.i wish I could go into details but no space.also don't force yourself into a role you won't be comfortable in all ur life.if u can't stop clubbing why marry a man who has a pastoral calling????divorce waiting to happen.maeriage is not for kids but mature adults.i don't think emotionally u are ready so take Stella Korks advice, 'get busy' ok?now second post NO!!!distant marriage doesn't work.how I know?im going through it and it's hell!!!men are selfish by nature if u consent to that u will end up being a single parent even though you are married.and divorce will be very easy.also the bible says a man should cleave to his wife not stay away from her.iv been facing that for 7 yrs and I may have had enough bcos my hubby now lives like a bachelor. With all the perks.i hope u know what I mean???beware.
Ur name alone oooooooooooooo!!!!! Especially if the man is Igbo!!!!
ReplyDeletePls poster 3, your name only!!! My hubby has lots of properties, all in his name. Not even one as Mr and Mrs. I questioned and he said I should write my name when I buy mine. So do just that. When men are broke they're sober, when money comes they break all d rules and turn tiger. WRITE YOUR NAME ONLY!!!!
DeleteLol..
DeleteNot nice..
What is wrong with igbo men?
U better hv ur name alone. If he was the one buying. He would have his name alone.
ReplyDeleteIf u decide to include his name then it should be
Mr John smith and mrs Ada smith.
Don't put mr and mrs John smith o. Else....
U better hv ur name alone. If he was the one buying. He would have his name alone.
ReplyDeleteIf u decide to include his name then it should be
Mr John smith and mrs Ada smith.
Don't put mr and mrs John smith o. Else....
Girl ! Please have your name on that property. Because it's yours since you are contributing 100%
ReplyDeletePoster3 ur name alone pls don't make that mistake of adding ur hubby name is ur money and ur house too
ReplyDeletePoster 1, i think u have ADHD! Go for diagnosis. Thank me later
ReplyDeletePoster Number 1...some men are so boring and very quiet. I met one quiet dude, very quiet, always quiet. He never says a word. You can spend the day with him and all he does is to keep mute.He is so naturally quiet.
ReplyDeleteIf i want something that cant talk, i will date a mannequin.
O dara ogbii?
I like conversations, i like an analytical mind. I like an adventurous person. Not the type that will sit and be staring at you as if you dropped from the sky.
Poster 2...long distance keh? you want to turn to a legal side chic. Let him go and find work in Edo state since he is not earning much.
Eh, what did i type? Edo gini
Hian, you want them Edo girls to tie him down and his ancestors.
Hapukwa the dude na Aba.
At least you know Aba girls will only give him bad sex, cook achara soup for him, nothing you cannot deal with. Plus
Wait for it
When he sees their torn okrika pants, it will motivate him to run back to you.
Poster 3...Onyeoma emeka. Buy properties and let it be in your name ,your future children should be your next of kin. If your husband will get angry then use "mbaise" sense and tell him you have spent the money and cant buy it again.
XOXO MYSTERY
Hehehe....lmao
DeleteYou just narrated my r/ship while addressing poster 1. My bf is so quiet + the distance again. We hardly talk, we talk like strangers and I've been complaining for so long that I'm tired. We have been together for a year and 2 months. Sigh!
Delete@poster1: you have spirit husband, u need deliverance.
ReplyDeleteAll dis will clear frm your eyes when you are 40 to 45yrs.
@poster2: say no 2 distance marriage, is not easy at all.It breeds distrust among couple at times.
Even if you guys want a distance marriage, not at dis stage........in as much as I want you to keep ur job, I think u also need to be close to ur hubby.
@poster3: woman, dis will cause problem blw u and ur hubby, but my dear USE YOUR NAME 2 avoid stories dat touches.
Best of luck.
Poster 3! Poster 3!! Poster !!! How many times did I call you and at the same time I'm pulling your ears. Please don't make the mistake of buying that property in your husband's name. I'm talking out of experience, when the opportunity for me to buy my shop came, I bought it with so much love with my husband's name because that happened to be the first property I was buying and I also thought that anything that belongs to my husband belongs to me as well. (take note that a woman is NOT forbidden to buy property both in my place or in my husbands place as it is the case with some tribes) The Power of Attorney and Deed of Assignment was prepared in his name. Today, my husband is threatening to throw me out of that shop and rent it out and use the money for his personal stuff even when the proceeds from what I sell in that shop is the source of income for the family for now.
ReplyDeleteMy dear please don't try it. Don't even buy it in the name of Mr. & Mrs. except the two of you are contributing the money. I regret it a lot and he would even rub it in my face that after all the shop is in his name that even if I tell anybody I bought it, they won't believe me. I don't even wish my enemy the regret and bitterness I feel about it. Men can be so unpredictable.
#Shivers
Deleteposter1 you have hard luck with spouses. please pray and give alms more for your fortune to change
ReplyDeleteposter2 you know your man better than we do. can he come and see you as often as you would want ? can he remain faithful to you? can he put you first before all else?
poster3 if i were asked the same question i would say i would put my husbands name. thats what its supposed to be. but we dont have husbands anymore what we have is horsebands and as such use your tongue to count your teeth.
Narrative no 3, the property should be in your name alone just like Stella advised! These men can't be trusted. Narrative no 2: I think it depends on what both of you want and your level of commitment. Some couples live apart and are still strong.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, there is no perfect man! Before you know it, you are 40 moving from one deliverance home to another.
ReplyDeleteposter 3.. your name oo!
Poster 2... that is not a good thing to do. My parents were in a distant marriage for many years before they finally retired home! We, the children know the negative effects on us. I tell you, those two are more like strangers!
poster no 3,hold stella's advise tight n never let go.Don't even allow d devil to steal it 4rm u.My mum made such mistake yrs back out of luv,wrote my father's name on d receipt of d land she bought with her hard earned money.She is regretting it seriously today.I wish i cld talk more on dis matter.Don't a mistake u will regret 4 life
ReplyDeletePoster number one u need God..Number two how can you marry a boy who is not working?and he doesn't want u to quit his job because he wants to depend on you..number 3 your name only Oooo..never ever trust the loyalty of a broke man
ReplyDeletePoster 1 what is ur own with men giving u gifts and money??? Are u a prostitute? I don't understand girls that live in Naija at all. They cancel out a man becoz he doesn't give them money and gifts. Smh....that is poverty and beggy beggy syndrome. And I'm a girl by the way.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 3 be wise o! Are you a learner? Your hubby didn't contribute a dime so according to Stella, your name in FULL CAPITALS no sentiments, it's your property.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 your name oo. Infact your maiden name. That is me for you. Anaghi amacha ihe uwa, plus the fact that you don't have a child yet.
ReplyDeleteSome people sure ask some dumb questions!
ReplyDeleteYou are the only one contributing for the purchase of the house and you want to ask whose name it should go in. Why would it not go in your name?
poster 1....you want to wait till you are in your 30's before you go to a club!?
are you okay?
It will be less questionable to who???
once again, Nigerians creating rules. dumb rules at that!
why do you have to go with your boyfirend or husband?....why cant you go with friends!!!!b that what normal people do. young normal people.
Damn you are missing out for no good reason, just because you feel it may be less questionable. dont worry about what people think...or in your case, what they might think.
If you want to go, go.
You will never hear sh!t like that in London finished all my clubbing by the time I was 24. saw it all. did it all.
I cant imagine now waiting on a husband before I can go. Also...maybe you are the boring ones and not the guys you meet.
I finished all my clubbing 22 Md yes it was fun and no I have no regrets! Poster 1 is just sitting on an okada
DeleteStella and poster I did it. Hubby was in lag I was in Abj since 2008. We both were working and love our jobs with good pay. We were in love and still in love he relocated in 2013 to Abj. Have not caught him cheating n he leaves his phones too. Nothing to hide so far. Thank God. U will learn so many things some not easy but u will be grateful it happened. Lucky u he encourages u to work.
ReplyDeleteNo 1, dating is different from marriage, it's a different ball game entirely, so after d bells, so many things die down, bc it becomes to cumbersome especially with d coming of d kids.
ReplyDeleteN0 2, distant marriage no be am, am a victim not by choice but by providence, yes providence I say bc hubby is a biz man, 2yrs ago, we were on a vacation, and it was noticed dt my 1st daughter had a spinal issue ( scoliosis )which required a major surgery ,and a 12 month follow up, had no option than to stay back, it has never been easy,
N0 3, like Stella sd, only ur name bc if it was the other way I don't think he will even ask questions if he will include your Name on it, bc it's a capital NO.
May God help ur daughter...ijn.amen
DeleteNo 1, dating is different from marriage, it's a different ball game entirely, so after d bells, so many things die down, bc it becomes to cumbersome especially with d coming of d kids.
ReplyDeleteN0 2, distant marriage no be am, am a victim not by choice but by providence, yes providence I say bc hubby is a biz man, 2yrs ago, we were on a vacation, and it was noticed dt my 1st daughter had a spinal issue ( scoliosis )which required a major surgery ,and a 12 month follow up, had no option than to stay back, it has never been easy,
N0 3, like Stella sd, only ur name bc if it was the other way I don't think he will even ask questions if he will include your Name on it, bc it's a capital NO.
Poster 3, i suggest u put ur name and that of your husband on the land's title deed. You are married.
ReplyDeleteMarriage in God's way should be a life of sacrifice and sharing. my opinion though#.
Poster 2, how long will you be able to stay apart from your husband??? A year?, two years?, forever? Discuss that with your husband-to-be.
Poster 1, get busy and quite being boring. Yes, i think u are boring, that's why you easily think others are too. Rediscover yourself first because life itself is a bundle of routine work(which ofcourse is boring), but can be interesting when one adds flavor and makes it more engaging.
Poster 1, you have not met 'The Man' yet. So chill, when you meet your love, you will never be bored.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, sorry not married yet so I don't know. But is it possible for hubby to find a job where you are? Does he have the qualification? If worst comes to worst, can't he get a little capital from his dad and start a business where you are so you guys will be together cos I don't understand this type of distant marriage when you people are the same country and can afford to compromise. Please tell him that its high time he stoodon his own and extricate himself from his father's apron abi trouser strings.
Poster 3, biko write your name in Capital letters. If possible add your paternal and maternal surnames in case they say they thought you are writing your husbands name and made the mistake to include your own. Lol. Ok bye
Will read comments today and learn....It is well.
ReplyDelete#1 go for deliverance.
ReplyDelete#2 your guy shld stop relying on his family business, he needs to build his own and stand as a man. Do not quit ya job yet.
@Poster one I don't think boredom is cause of your problem. It looks as if you tend to run away when things are not going your way rather than work through it. Have you spoken to the people about the way you feel rather than look for the next available person to start something with. Since you don't want to be a pastor's wife,tell the third guy and end things with him. As for number two(am suspecting his motives) and one,sit and talk to them. Then you decide which of the two you'd prefer to stay with.
ReplyDelete@Poster two don't have an idea what it is like,so I would pass.
@Poster three I know it may sound somehow but please in the name of everything you hold dear PUT YOUR NAME and ONLY YOURS on that document. Except you want to buy it as gift to dash him. And if perhaps he decides to bring part of the money,then BOTH your names should be there. Its not a matter of you not loving him enough,its to avoid stories that touch.
Just look for way to go about it and find the perfect excuse in case he decides to make it an issue. I have read/heard too many stories of this nature and it did not end well.....
@Poster1: you simply haven't met the right person (Meanwhyl in the bid to meet the right person pls shine you eyes!). None of the persons you mentioned in ur email is up to PER!
ReplyDeletePoster2: You earn well and his a business man that doesn't earn as much abi? Are you sure your ready for that kind of marriage? Please dear, think this your matter well oh! LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH.
Poster3: Biko buy your property in you name Or in your name and his in full. DO Not buy it with the term Mr n MRS (any woman can become the Mrs in future.
Good luck y'all!
poster 3.............strictly follow stella's advise, your name in capital letter only!
ReplyDeleteNarrative No2, This year will be my 5th year in marriage & my hubby resides outside d country while i reside & work in Nigeria.Its not all blissful but we still carry on, he spends @least 3 months in a full year wt us. If its something u can avoid, pls do, but if u cant, u can make out a clean timetable & make urself happy. All d best.
ReplyDeleteNarrative No2, This year will be my 5th year in marriage & my hubby resides outside d country while i reside & work in Nigeria.Its not all blissful but we still carry on, he spends @least 3 months in a full year wt us. If its something u can avoid, pls do, but if u cant, u can make out a clean timetable & make urself happy. All d best.
ReplyDeletelol...my focus is on the first poster..what ya say? from mid last year to febuary this year, you've met, fallen in and out of like with three guys shey?, in the name of 'boredom'...you need to sit and ask yourself this question 'wetin dey worry me?'...how can you get bored so easily, even if its just chatting over the phone, it usually takes months before you lose interest in an online relationship, not to talk of someone you see physically,charle you need to go for deliverance or see a therapist..i kept laugh/smiling through out as i read your narrative...
ReplyDeleteDarling poster2,no amount of anybodies view will help u on a long distance marriage bcos we all have diff passion n desires. Eg,some women don't like sex or very little of it,maybe u are d kind that loves sex,with dat distance marriage will b tough 4u! If u r d kind dat loves cuddling n communication a lot,distance will b an issue. What m saying is,u will have to look deep down inside urself n no what really matters to u. Be completely honest wt urself,most times,I like 2think dat men no what they want more than we do. D reason 4courship is to weigh all options n if its nt working 4u,abeg move on,greater is coming! U already have a good job n pls b careful wt men u earn more than they do cos d heart of a man is desperately wicked... Men's Ego is always at war when they sense that u don't need dem in finacially n otherwise. In choice making,pls go 2ur class. I wish u all d best as u make dis emotional decesion
ReplyDeletePlz poster1 get help I think ur problem is spiritual, unless you want to remain single for the rest of ur life
ReplyDeletePoster 1 you have issues and I'm like whatever to you!
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Don't even try it! My parents did a lin distance marriage IT didn't work and me and my bro had to suffer for it
Poster 3! Everything in your name my dear infact capital letter
I M IN A LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE AND THING ARE WORKING FINE... WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 6 MOTHS NOW AND WE HAVE ONLY BEIGN TOGETHER FOR 2 WEEKS. AND THERE IS NO HOPE OF EVEN SEEING HIM TILL NEXT YEAR... YOU JUST NEED TO PUT UR MIND TOGETHER, PRAY TO GOD AND MAKE SURE YOU COMMUNICATE EVERYDAY!!! AND MAKE OUT PLAN ON HOW YOU GUYS WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER. IT IS NOT PERMENENT. JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE PRESENT SITUATION WITH GOD ON YOUR SIDE. BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS AND I TRAVELLED ABROAD AND WE HAD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP FOR 5 YEARS. WELL I WISH YOU WELL... #WIFEEY
ReplyDeleteDicey situation. For me, I would have preferred Mr & Mrs A.B & Y.Z Cole but you never can trust men when it comes to properties. So I go with Mrs Y.Z Cole. If he later finds out the document is in your name, it may cause friction between you two. Handle with wisdom. Goodluck!
ReplyDeleteIn your name sister gurl, if you had a child I would have suggested in the child's name to avoid issues...
ReplyDeleteposter 3 pls let the house be in your name to avoid story that touches the heart
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteYou are still very immature,when you are ready for marriage,you will..just live your life,date,have fun..don't force it..
All my suitors when I was like 21years old had one issue or the other for me.. I guess I was just not ready to settle down.
My issues bordered around one eating too much,one having awkward teeth,one was too "churchous"..etc.. silly things right? It showed I wasn't ready to settle..
Second poster
Is he letting you keep your job because he sees you as the future meal ticket or because you love your job? You need to be sure of this before you commit..search your soul,you hold the answer!
The answer,will lead you back to your question about a long distance relationship working..
It requires genuine commitment,love and understanding... no two marriages are the same..always remember that.
Poster 3
Hmmmm.. "WE want to buy a property,but IAM contributing 100percent"
Madam,If you are comfortable with this arrangement,you will not be asking us.
Personally,i feel family investments should be in the names of either the wife or kids. Yours is quite dicey because you don't have a child yet(you will conceive this year in Jesus name).
That property should either be bought in your name or...hmMmm I don't know how Mr and Mrs holds water in court or God forbid in the event of death without a will...
Let Lawyers advice you more ojare!
Ps: I got a property,and yes is in my name..thank you.
I also want to lend my voice to dat of iphie to say dat poster 1 is probably not in love with any of her suitors. Same thing was happening to me when I wanted to start dating. I got bored easily. I meet someone, we become friends and once he asks me out, I dislike him, I get bored. There's always some reason or another why I start withdrawing. Initially I thought something was wrong with me and dat it was a spiritual thing until I met this guy, my first real boyfriend. Right from the first day someone introduced us, I felt different. Never bored and we dated for 7years. We didn't get married though but it wasn't my fault. It was his.
DeleteSo poster 1, u haven't met THE ONE yet.
poster 3 pls let the house be in your name to avoid story that touches the heart
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You most definitely a GEMINI. Geminis get bored so easily. Why don't you take a break from relationships and improve yourself? In the process of self development, you will meet your own who will click the right BOXES! Goodluck.
ReplyDeletestella wetin you dey do there? abeg upload comments joor
ReplyDeleteSorry, meant Poster 1. For poster 2, pray about it.
ReplyDeleteOn buying a property with your spouse I see no harm in it in as long as you trust him, I bought a property with 100% of the money from me and it's on our names, I did not even bat an eyelid doing it and that was 4yrs ago. I love my wife and putting her name on our property is just a tip of the iceberg. If I can buy her an island I would.
ReplyDeleteU are the man. U are supposed to buy properties in both ur names. it's different when it's the woman putting down the 100%. Only a minute number of Women will ever deny men their share of their property but men can take over everything and move on with another woman. Dats how it used to be and as far as am concerned, dats how it should always be. My opinion
DeletePls adding your wife's name to your property and a woman buying a property in a mans name are two totally different things. They don't even any child together , anything can happen. Men can't be trusted.
Deletehahahah stella no go kill me lol @ ur name in capital letter.
ReplyDelete@ Poster 3, you and your husband's name for instance Mr. & Mrs. John and Joy ..... (your Surname).
ReplyDeleteP1 Biko find work, you are not ready for anything serious.
ReplyDeleteP2-Do not be silly and quit your job yet. LD Marriage is hard but issues with finances in marriage is worse.
P3-:-p Your name
P2-DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. Don't mind all these girls on here telling you nonsense. See you guys can make it work. DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. Thank God your man is supportive. DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB.
ReplyDelete#3 pls be wise o. You can put yr name for now and if it will cause wahala don't buy.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2:
ReplyDeleteUnlike Stella, I feel your pain. Why settle for less when marriage is for a life time. While you are at it, please make sure the choosen man is as cute as Shemar Moore (criminal minds series)
Narrative 3: Fear not darling, distance marriage doesn't kill. With time you both can work something out and start living together. Yeah! Am in a distance marriage and its been blissful. I travel every weekend to see my DH pending when his relocation pulls through. What you need is understanding and patience and devoid your mind from negative impunity and never listen to advise from friends. Happy Married Life in advance. Pls send me an invite
My opinion.....
ReplyDeletePoster 1; i do think you still have a lot to do on taking decisions,and what you realy do want.com'on stop being so confused and whats with you being bored up and down.madam whats wrong with marrying a pastor?and whats wrong with never going to club in your lifetime?
Seriously even you is complicated.if you dont want to marry him,pls leave him and let him meet another single lady who wants to get married.
Poster 2; this is a decision only you can make.i do think that the 1st stages of marriage is good for the couple to live together dou.its a tough one but i wish you all the best.
Uurrrrrmmmmm Anty i suppose your name should be on that document abeg to avoid stories that touch.
Poster 2: you can have distance marriage but u have to sought it out with ur husband to be about visitation and phone calls. In the main time look for job around ur husband vicinity so your husband won't fall into temptation. Your distance marriage should be for the main time till u get a new job.
ReplyDeletePoster 3 if u have kids already use the kids name but make sure it is your own signature if u don't have kids yet use ur name and signature but just let ur husband know after u have acquire the property, so it won't be as if u didn't tell him.
p2-You will conceive this year in Jesus name. Please o, I am not a bad wife but please either in Gloria Sabinus and Fidelis Sabinus or Gloria Sabinus or Gloria Jackson (i.e. your maiden name). You in your mind you know your husband, if he is the kleg type...biko advice yourself before you lose your property. SOme of these men are evil.
ReplyDeleteP3-Do NOT quit your job.
Man are not to be trusted don't add his name on it.
ReplyDeletePoster 3: You make me laugh seriously. Were you thinking of buying it in your hubby's name? Dont get me wrong, there's nothing wrong in doing that but the stories we hear on daily basis about issues like this have made women wiser.
ReplyDeleteI will tell you to buy it IN YOUR NAME ONLY but as e be like say u nor get mind....you can do the MR and MRS but in doing that your name MUST be included because anywoman could claim to be ur hubby's MRS in future. Be wise, dear!
Poster 2: I think ur man has ur interest at heart. Personally, i dont support a woman not having her own source of income. Your guy is been truthful now....if you leave ur lucrative job and after ur wedding, the man is saddled with all the responsibilities in the home, he may begin to react and misbehave in a way you dont like. Why not work out ways of seeing each other often while you start looking for another job in d state he resides? More over, your man's job is a flexible one since he's into his family's bizness so he would know how to visit you more often.
Poster 1: I think this your attitude of getting bored over anything needs urgent attention. You know what you want in a man, go for it and dont settle for less.
#1: You seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Every spouse has its own pros and cons. My dear, you cant have it all in marriage. There are certain things a pastor is not expected to do. If none of them fit what you are looking for, kindly transfer them to our blog singles who have been praying for husbands.
ReplyDelete#2: Some long distance marriages work fine. It depends on your future plans. Is he planning to relocate later and start his own business In Edo? Or is it an indefinite thing?
Again, how is his libido and yours. Some men can stay 3 months without sex and would not cheat on their wives, while some, a day is enough for them to derail. These are issues you need to iron out with him. I pray you find a common ground to work on.
#3: Please o, no matter how blind your love is, that land should be bought in your name alone. May God give you children soon in Jesus name, amen. Rose
POSTER 3: pls be very wise, ur situation is very dicey, It is quite easy to tell you to simple put your name in the title deed but how easy is that? Most of these people on here advicing you are very single and still have their single and mingle application cooling in one of Stella's post(no pun intended), some who are married have never been in the same spot that u are right now, so be very careful. I was actually expecting them to support their advice with an example that they did same and it turned out cool.
ReplyDeleteStella sucrè that adviced you to do same is married to a German for christ sakes, their mentality is a wide gap with that of a Nigerian man, a white man would definitely not mind, infact it is normal there but is it here? This is Africa!
'IF' your husband is rich and can afford that property, he wouldn't mind if you use your great grandfather's name, he would even be proud of you and might not even want his name on the deed. Hell, he will even buy you properties in YOUR NAME as a GIFT, it wouldn't matter to him BUT when your husband cannot afford the property and you buy it in your name....IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO HIM.
He might not complain o but trust me dear, you have strung a bad cord in him. That action will read a million negative things to him and with time, it will create a rut in ur marriage.
I wouldn't want you running back here with a narrative of how he changed since you bought the property, some people will encourage you and say his negative attitude proves he had some motives but is it really true? What if he translates your action as betrayal of trust? Is that not enough to change a man?
My Suggestions are:
You need serious wisdom now dear and you need to pray for direction BUT
1) I will advice you to either put off buying the property for now, tell him the money got stuck or something, just cool off on buying the property for now
OR
2) You can buy it behind his back 'if you are determined to have just ur name on the title deed', you can ask your mum to buy it out for you or work out a away to buy it without his knowledge.
OR
3) you can buy the property with BOTH your names (if you can live with that).
Most of all, pray for direction cos this decision can make or mar your marriage.
Goodluck
Dear poster 3. This is the best advice (in my opinion).
DeleteMy dear forget the property for now .keep ur money in fix deposit til ur bundles of joy arrive.BC we only struggle. for our kids an their future not husband .if u buy with only ur name or with his.problem nobody knows what future hold pls pls forget it for now .property is not running .some men can be nice some can be cancer
ReplyDeleteBvs help me please. 5years after I finished secondary school I have stayed home because of family and financial crisis. I got admission last year to study geology in federal university of petroleum resources effurun and registration and clearance ends on Friday and still no hope. Am lost my single mother has tried all her best to no avail. Am tired of been mocked and ridiculed I don't want to become a sex slave help me please I don't want to miss this. I really tried my best getting this please
ReplyDeletePoster#3: Wait till you have kids and put in in your kids name. If you feel this is a great opportunity then you can either put it in both names (if your husband will support the project later) or in your name only. Whatever you do, never let him sign documents without you. Shine ur eyes.
ReplyDeletePoster#2: It depends on how long you and your man can hold body for. Where is he now?
Poster#1: Seriously. You are not bored, but have too much time on your hand. You know none of them guys you mentioned is ready for marriage. They are all trying to find themselves, something you should be doing.
Madam, narrative 1:
ReplyDelete1) ur sense of self entitlement is what is getting you bored. You work, you can provide some of the fun. You shouldn't wait for a man to give you all the fun. You could arrange for both of you to go for shows, events and whet the ember of the relationship, but you were content with sitting and waiting for him. You claim he has no friends. Do you have friends? If so, why haven't you arranged to meet them? Oh! I see it, he's too short and his job is too terrible for you to introduce him.
2) you must find ways to make yourself happy yourself. On my off days, I sometimes read, write, play the piano, watch movies, think, watch football. And it keeps me happy, evn in an empty house. You must find self happiness first. In that way you won't expect too much and won't get bored. There's this song by an English band "the verve", it's called 'lucky man', teaches you about self happiness, contentment. Men, women, relationships come and go. Ask yourself how those rich old widows who had very loving husbands cope when the love of dier lives are gone forever.
3)its wise, as they say for a girl or man to have had fun in life before marriage... did you attend a private uni? Never been to a club? Live with your mum? From boarding school to college to work to marriage and kids. Not a wise quandrangle(or watever), cos even if you marry these men, you may feel you're missing out on something and still be bored. Gradually, dis boredom changes 2 hatred and self disgust. You shouldn't jump into marriage. Did you hear it being said that after college, most of the fun dies. There is not much to expect in terms of general fun again. Just carve a niche 4 urself in the sphere of happiness by doing what makes you happy and don't rely on men entirely cos I sense you will be disillusioned.
As for the pastor, lol. They're fun pastors. Only thing is that role model position the wife of a pastor assumes. You live for your husband's ministry and for the entire church. You must be a conformist. Please, if you can't cope, don't get in.
**Bonaparte NN
Poster 3, biko calm down. What is it you want to buy? If na ordinary car abeg write any name put, even if na your house boy name. Car na car. But if na land or house just follow your church mind, but for no reason should u write his name alone o!
ReplyDeletePoster 2 pls don't even think abt relocating o!will he get u another job?that's how my mum left her teaching job in the 90s & followed my dad to relocate to Lagos coz of his new job that actually paid so well.after promising my mum that he'll get her teaching job back he left my mum @ home doing nothing,giving her false hope.this is 2015 & my mum didn't get her job back.pls focus on ur work o.there's nothing like having ur own money.nt when u want to buy pad you'll be saying,"darling,pls I want to buy pad"a word is enof for the wise.
ReplyDeletePoster 3,better write ur name in that document.
Poster 1, you actually need God to direct you. Marriage is not something that lasts for a month or a year;its for a life time dear and the reason you are getting bored with people is because you have not fully understood the purpose oft he relationships. Love does not sustain relationships, wisdom does,if you do not believe me ask divorcees. So dear please settle down with God and choose right. I pray that you will not miss it. Love you so much.Queen 2015
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you actually need God to direct you. Marriage is not something that lasts for a month or a year;its for a life time dear and the reason you are getting bored with people is because you have not fully understood the purpose oft he relationships. Love does not sustain relationships, wisdom does,if you do not believe me ask divorcees. So dear please settle down with God and choose right. I pray that you will not miss it. Love you so much. Queen2015
ReplyDeletePoster 3, The house should be in your name. Your husband will not like it, you have to figure out how to tell him. Better still, God will bless you with a child soon so wait and use he's or her name to avoid problems.
ReplyDeleteP2, long distance depends on you and your spouse. You have to work extra hard for your relationship.
P1, Damn! When u find that person you love, and he loves you back, you can never be bored
Blackbarbiemama1
Poster 1, you actually need God to direct you. Marriage is not something that lasts for a month or a year;its for a life time dear and the reason you are getting bored with people is because you have not fully understood the purpose oft he relationships. Love does not sustain relationships, wisdom does,if you do not believe me ask divorcees. So dear please settle down with God and choose right. I pray that you will not miss it. Love you so much.
ReplyDeleteMe prefer long distance marriage biko. Hmm, seems I will go for deliverance. Make I go fall small make them comot ife ojo from this body. Some things are smooth while some are not. Musto make all level smooth for life.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 1: Babe, you need take yourself away from the madness you have created (in your head) and stop this vicious cycle of confusion.....change of scenery perhaps? to figure yourself out and what you really really want in life...maybe you are just under pressure to get married and don't really want to marry any of the guys you mentioned?
ReplyDeletePOSTED 2: Gosh OYO is your case oo, no experience and I cant give advice becos if you follow am, nah you wey go dey for inside that marriage oo
POTED 3: every heard of BUY THE HOUSE BY YOURSELF ON YOUR OWN?? eh hen I don talk my own
#2: Honey, you have every right to be concerned. One of the major elements which causes the breakdown of a marriage is lack of communication. Mind you, communication can be verbal and non-verbal. There are certain emotions that can't be aptly expressed via Skype or phone calls/written messages. The early years of marriage are the most challenging. Some long distance relationships even crumble, let alone a marriage. Newlyweds should bond before being separated by work or some other important venture.
ReplyDeleteIt's very important to spend the early years of your marriage together because, sometimes, precedents which can make or mare the marriage are set. There are many issues which should be settled before the "I dos". Unfortunately, many ladies get carried away with the whole prospect of getting marry, forgetting that some issues unattended to prior to the marriage may end up being the bane and eventual irretrievably breakdown of the marriage. Some of these issues include, but not restricted to; Place of worship/religious beliefs, number of children, residence, the role of family members, management of finances, type and location of jobs and businesses etc. Honey, it's imperative that both of you resolve this issue to avoid future misunderstandings.
Have a heart to heart with him, list the advantages and disadvantages of a long distance marriage of newly weds, then see if both of you can handle the worst case scenario. It's always wise to be optimistic provided you acknowledge the unpredictability of life. I would warn against sacrificing your job because that's your security for now. I am also uneasy with the idea of spouses travelling frequently to see each other. The 2 weeks off and on work rotation by most offshore workers are manageable because the temptation for the men to stray is minimal, they are usually in a controlled environment. Unlike a job where a man has free access to roam and do whatever he wants. The chances of infidelity are pretty high and in some unfortunate cases, the mistresses get pregnant before the wives. Some husbands even end up falling in love with their mistresses because they spend more time together while the wives are left at home going crazy with worry and getting all stressed up which can also affect the chances of getting pregnant.
Please don't allow your emotions taint objectivity. You'll be amazed at how fast love flies through the window when frustration and resentment creeps in. Sweetie, please be sure to resolve this before you get married and start regretting your decisions.
#e-bearhugs.
Thank you all so much for your advice, i am still reading and thinking. I pray God gives me the wisdom to do what i am supposed too. Thanks all, i will keep reading more advice from you all. God bless all your hearts and I'm glad no1 cursed me out.
ReplyDelete