Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Patoranking Thanks Security Man For Saving Him From Heavy Sh*t

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Saturday, January 17, 2015

Patoranking Thanks Security Man For Saving Him From Heavy Sh*t

If you have never been caught in this situation,you will not understand why he had to go on his social media handle to say thank you.

 Pato,i understand you perfectly,we thank God say you no shit for body!...yikeees!!











By -

116 comments:

  1. Quiksilver17 January 2015 at 13:32

    Hahahaha
    Been there, done that..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 January 2015 at 15:47

      Ah ha ha ha ha ha dis jst wake up my happy spirit. ....fuck dat shit!

      Delete
    2. Unknown17 January 2015 at 16:09

      Lmao...shit no sabi say Pato na Celeb.
      Anytime you pass the place again,jst branch give the security man 2k make e use hold pocket

      Delete
    3. Rare Gem17 January 2015 at 16:33

      Honestly been there done that *gbam

      Delete
    4. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 18:31

      This is it!hahahahahahahaha,this really cracked me up. Pato my darling,i can relate.
      #rootzy#

      Delete
    5. Unknown17 January 2015 at 19:46

      Been there, mine happened in a bus during a prayer session. I thought I could manage it buh the thing no gree o! Had to beg driver to stop, I'm sure the bus "pastor" go talk say him don pray devil out of the bus, lol.

      Delete
    6. krimcake17 January 2015 at 22:14

      lol. wen u got to go, you got to go.
      do u love captivating writing?
      stories with a lot of humour
      If you like grt stories, check this blog out.
      opustjkwrites

      Delete
    7. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 23:12

      What sort of shit is dt or he still dey grow teeth ni abi na bad pure water he drink

      Delete
    8. KSmith18 January 2015 at 02:43

      You too make sure you always shit that thing for morning before going out. Is a common etiquette

      Delete
  2. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:32

    Loool... My dear shit no get shame oooo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ms SSS a.k.a stunning slim shady17 January 2015 at 13:32

    Stella meine liebe, I already voted f u in d 3 categories u specified. I pray u clinch d awards. U rock! *e- hug*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mystique17 January 2015 at 15:49

      I remeber when this thing held me
      I ran to take a bike home...I was uurging him to speeed.
      Long story short, I kind of did it on mybody but I was home then.
      Chai! *sighs*

      Delete
    2. Unknown17 January 2015 at 22:35

      Hahahaha. Choi! Mystique kpele o, shit happens! Kikikikikiki...

      Delete
  4. Lady D17 January 2015 at 13:33

    Hahahahhaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 17:55

      Very funny but serious situation . Visit and become a member of Www.Organics11.com see latest updates, pictures fashion tips and videos. Click on the affiliate section for more goodies.

      Delete
  5. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:33

    Buahahahaha!!!!! We understand your case PATO!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:34

    Stella Bae,

    This is one of the happening, talented guys you should be following bumper to bumper.

    Dump Adokiye forever until she identifies with a struggle.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Chidinma Grace17 January 2015 at 13:34

    Hahahahahahahahaa nice one. I can imagine what he went through.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:34

    Lmaoooo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ms SSS a.k.a stunning slim shady17 January 2015 at 13:35

    lol... somborry shout hallelujah!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:35

    Lol
    That situation. ................
    Epic!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ammy Becky17 January 2015 at 13:36

    Yea I understand him alright
    That situation is not funny at all

    ReplyDelete
  12. Priceless Jewel17 January 2015 at 13:36

    Ewwww!!!! SDK, u cray...
    Thank God for Pato.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Blackberry17 January 2015 at 13:38

    Shit na king, if it wants u to run lik a lunatic,u will. If it wants u to stop running n stand on one leg, u will obey. If it wants u to dance azonto, u will.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Precious dove17 January 2015 at 13:39

    singing#Go tell your mama,go tell your papa that security man saved you.
    Thanks to d security guy @ Zenith bank o,if not flies for follow you reach houx *lol*

    ReplyDelete
  15. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:39

    Lol... Funny him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debbie me17 January 2015 at 16:46

      Lol. Something like this has happened to me before. Omoh, come see sweat even inside AC car. Come to think of it, the traffic jam on the road was something else. I was just shouting" please drive fast, please fast, move this car" for where? Inside go slow? Thank God i no shit for pant that day sha.

      Delete
  16. OMALICHAC17 January 2015 at 13:40

    My dear patoranking I can imagine oh, I've been in ur shoes before. Not a good experience at all.

    ReplyDelete
  17. OMALICHAC17 January 2015 at 13:41

    My dear patoranking I can imagine oh, I've been in ur shoes before. Not a good experience at all.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:43

    Lol

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 13:43

    Hehehe. SHIT is no respecter of person,Yours Sdkly dazzlinglizzy

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 13:44

    Hehehe. SHIT is no respecter of person,Yours Sdkly dazzlinglizzy

    ReplyDelete
  21. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:45

    Thank u jesus nd thanks to d security

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 13:45

    aww... Dats nice. Security man i thank u o.. Patoranking ur so real jare. More blessings

    honimumi

    ReplyDelete
  23. ELENA (HER MAJESTY)17 January 2015 at 13:46

    I just fell in love with him he's truly down to earth.However most celebrities would never admit to the fact they'd always b forming porche as if they don't even go to the toilet

    ReplyDelete
  24. Miss Glo (OAP)17 January 2015 at 13:46

    HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!! oh my God, this is really hilarious... Its real though. Thank God for the security guard... Patoranking, is a real dude though for this kinda broadcast. please any Bv with a spare laptop, please do help me with it, for my academics, just paid my sessional fees, can't afford one right now. You will never know lack in Jesus name. God bless you. Sdk rocks...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 17:39

      Thief..oleeeeeee

      Delete
    2. Unknown17 January 2015 at 18:23

      Sorry pls what is "sessional" fees in uniben? Uniben school fees is 7700 or highest 10k...

      Delete
    3. Unknown18 January 2015 at 05:18

      Spare laptop u say? OK bye

      Delete
  25. Miss Glo (OAP)17 January 2015 at 13:46

    HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!! oh my God, this is really hilarious... Its real though. Thank God for the security guard... Patoranking, is a real dude though for this kinda broadcast. please any Bv with a spare laptop, please do help me with it, for my academics, just paid my sessional fees, can't afford one right now. You will never know lack in Jesus name. God bless you. Sdk rocks...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Tessbaby17 January 2015 at 13:46

    Hahahahahaha na wa! Security man thank u o

    ReplyDelete
  27. Nancy uncommon 17 January 2015 at 13:47

    lol..pato nwa afor ebonyi..iSee u!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:47

    Hahahhahhahhahaahahahhaahahahaha
    Patoranking won't kill me ooh
    Funny dude
    Thanks mr adesola

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 13:47

    I feel you bro, been there b4. Had a very nasty experience left the car on the road and ran into one hospital that was the closest place I could go do the thing. Came out sweating like say tomorrow no dey. Very lovely nurse I won't forget easily also gave me drugs for free to help with the pain in my belly.

    Got back to my car and I saw like 3 LASTMA officials and a police man telling me I parked on the wrong side of the road, by the time I gave them the story of the 'hot sh*t' way hol me they just started laughing and let me go.

    ReplyDelete
  30. MOI17 January 2015 at 13:49

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…I don laugh tire..Hahaha…. Oga security thank you o lol..

    ReplyDelete
  31. Miss Ess17 January 2015 at 13:50

    Everything na talk. Make e no be say he don put the security man for trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:50

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
    .
    Lmaooo.... thank God for ur life.....
    *GLO BRING 3G TO KONTAGORA*
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    ReplyDelete
  33. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:51

    This shit thing na serious gbege. It happened to me yesterday. My dad's 10th year anniversary is coming up and my mum and siblings want to celebrate him. My sis was supposed to be the one taking care of the aso ebi, but she's a bit under the weather so, I decided to do her the favour. Before I left home, I made sure I made use of the loo to avoid stories that touch. When I arrived lagos, I bought the clothes and was on my way home when I saw these beautiful ripe bananas. I'm a sucker for banana so, I ended up buying a bunch. Omo, it was as if that was what my belly was waiting for. As soon as I ate the bananas, my tummy rumbled. I thought it was just joking until I boarded a bus. It just wouldn't stop. I knew the worst was about to happen. The speed at which I jumped on okada would make Usain Bolt jealous. I pleaded with the okada rider to take me straight to Western Avenue since it's at least close to lagos. I kept shouting on the okada man and at a point he told me, madam, you wan die? In fact, I barely managed to arrive my aunt's place before my belly gave in. In fact, I didn't pay the okada man. He waited until I had done the deed before I paid him. He told me, madam, shit no dey get respect, e no dey look face.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:51

    This shit thing na serious gbege. It happened to me yesterday. My dad's 10th year anniversary is coming up and my mum and siblings want to celebrate him. My sis was supposed to be the one taking care of the aso ebi, but she's a bit under the weather so, I decided to do her the favour. Before I left home, I made sure I made use of the loo to avoid stories that touch. When I arrived lagos, I bought the clothes and was on my way home when I saw these beautiful ripe bananas. I'm a sucker for banana so, I ended up buying a bunch. Omo, it was as if that was what my belly was waiting for. As soon as I ate the bananas, my tummy rumbled. I thought it was just joking until I boarded a bus. It just wouldn't stop. I knew the worst was about to happen. The speed at which I jumped on okada would make Usain Bolt jealous. I pleaded with the okada rider to take me straight to Western Avenue since it's at least close to lagos. I kept shouting on the okada man and at a point he told me, madam, you wan die? In fact, I barely managed to arrive my aunt's place before my belly gave in. In fact, I didn't pay the okada man. He waited until I had done the deed before I paid him. He told me, madam, shit no dey get respect, e no dey look face.

    ReplyDelete
  35. SDK FIRST SON17 January 2015 at 13:54

    Lwkmd...... The guy is so real.... Hahahahagagaga

    ReplyDelete
  36. stella's addiction17 January 2015 at 13:54

    My dear,its so good to know say shit fit hold una too.most of this yeyebrities(you,swanky my love and some others no follow o)be acting like they got no shit in them. BT na dem shit and mess pass.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:57

    Okay oh

    ReplyDelete
  38. Unknown17 January 2015 at 13:58

    Hhhaaaahhh dis guy funny....but like I always say shit no dey respect person

    ReplyDelete
  39. Julit17 January 2015 at 14:03

    Igbe! Nsi!! Respecter of no one. You can't understand how many edegbe drivers I don threaten because of shit. Abi na from new market Enugu to boromeo roundabout for onitsha? I don stop for umunnya because of shit. In fact I no dey even shame again. For inside bus them go dey shout, "na so Una dey chop chop before bus move, gala, lacasera, akwa ogazi no tell us make we stop for road o". Who sigh!!! If shit catch me una go stop. Must. Otherwise a ga eji ife ana gba n'anya na Nti. Good day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Irene Bernards17 January 2015 at 19:07

      lol @okwa ogazi.
      My dear,i dont eat while travelling. Highest na water n chinchin

      Delete
    2. Anonymous18 January 2015 at 15:11

      Lol....rolling on Sofa
      .






      ..

      Delete
  40. Miss Glo (OAP)17 January 2015 at 14:04

    Thank God for the timely intervention and the simplistic nature of the security guard, sometimes they can be very protocol"ish". Being in the above mentioned situation can be very dicey and embarassing, making one to be totally destabilised as to the next line of action. Shout out to the security guard, many thanks to you.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 14:04

    Wrong Post I know! Just wanna rant! Locked myself up in d toilet for hours after writing this will take a shower, come out and act like all is well.

    Been dating this guy for 3years, he is nice caring and all that but...
    I have toured Europe and a few African countries with him. He is leaving Nigerian permanently in less than a month and now I feel used!
    At the initial stage of relationship I didn't care nor think about long term I just wanted ti enjoy while it last but I think I now like him maybe I l o v e (I dint say it only spelt it) so not sure. He is 65 and am 26 pleas don't say am too young to be worrying myself! Age is just a number!

    It annoys me when I hear my frends say this like my bf gave me 1mil (no be lie oh) I dey see d cash. Bf bought me diamond, bf doesn't like me flying economy, bf wants to see my people and this bf's are older than mine oh!
    I am always known for starting a trend which people tend to follow and eventually overtake me making me Stagnant! I have a little money saved. I work and school part time. Sometimes I look at my account balance and say this is more than enough Bae, calm down stop worrying your pretty head! But na Naija we dey tinzs change + my frends Acct's are so robust.
    Pls don't say am greedy it's only normal to feel this way! Bf doesn't wnt 2buy me a car says he has a thing abt buying cars, I av 2use my hard earned money 2buy my 1st ccar while my gf's are on their 2nd or 3rd rides or is it that am not smart enough? It is well.

    I am searching for a good runz girl to coach me up tired of been the good girl cos if I had another bf wouldn't be worried that this one is going away! Ok! That's all! Needed to vent.


    My name begins wit d last letter of d alphabet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Julit17 January 2015 at 16:14

      Zainab. Jiri kwa nya nwayo o. Why you dey compare? You go wound in the process. Take what you have abi na wetin you dey see and be comfi with it. Don't compare at all. The grass is NEVER greener on the other side. Water yours boo.

      Delete
    2. Unknown17 January 2015 at 16:39

      Who cares if your name starts with the last number of the numerals?

      Bad company
      Follow-follow
      Cut throat competition
      Peer pressure

      One or all of the above will send you where you least expect, if you don't stop your desperate hustling.


      Delete
    3. Jeni_zee 17 January 2015 at 17:01

      Zebudaya

      Delete
    4. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 19:10

      eyaaaah

      Delete
    5. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 21:03

      You do not have an issue nah! Atleast he treats you right and gives you all you need. Some girls that are way prettier ,smarter etc are booless. So pls cheer up. On to the next one when he leaves the country "am guess he is an expatriate". You will meet someone better by His Grace. I have bin in same situation before so I understand. Hugss and kisses

      Delete
    6. Unknown17 January 2015 at 22:13

      Babe at 26 u still dey do runs wen u wan settle down na Wen u reach 40????babe u beta shape ur life well....if not very soon u will send us chronicles ohhh
      A WORD IS ENOF FOR D WISE

      Delete
    7. Unknown18 January 2015 at 05:38

      He is 65 and you call the poor man a guy? Lol
      Your friends' BFs are older than yours? Perhaps 70 or 72? Waooo

      You sound average.. intelligence wise. Meaning, you are not completely empty. But I see that you've made your life a joke, a competition, a panorama...

      Hold on, I am not assessing you based on the age bracket, because from the way you talk, this would have been the case if your man were to be 30 or 40 years of age.
      The problem, really, isn't with the man, but with YOU and the competition that you subconsciously indulge yourself.

      You have something in the bank which would make a normal lady content. But because you have decided to make financial comparisons with your peers, what you now have is no longer sufficient. My dear lady, may God forgive you.

      I hope that for your sake you'll draw a chart and make good of what you have, and hopefully you'll focus on having a career or even set a business up with the proceeds you've accrued over the years.

      Good luck

      Delete
    8. Anonymous19 January 2015 at 21:24

      Thanks y'all.

      Delete
    9. Anonymous19 January 2015 at 21:33

      Anon 21.03 yes he is an expat.
      I am an auditor and also own a saloon. Did I mention that I have a main bf who is a British citizen? I visit him 4times or more times a year depending on how I manage my leave. I guess am scared of being alone when my present partner returns to his country.

      Ehen! I 4got to add that my main Bf is 15yrs older than me. Pls don't judge, men of that age bracket fall deeply for me and vice versa. Age is just a number remeber.

      Why do people always refer to ladies who date older men as runz girls? What if I were dating a young guy who beats d shit out off me and ends up disfiguring my face & genitals?? All I will get from u Judges "wama Ruth & Goldscent" wil be Sorry oh!

      Thanks all d same

      Delete
  42. Madewithpassion17 January 2015 at 14:04

    Lol! Thank you security man!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Playgirl4bunnie17 January 2015 at 14:06

    Hahhahahaaaahahaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaaahaaahaaaaahahahaaahh rotfl i can't help but laff,,,i love dis guy though,very simple and doesn't form.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Chy 🌹17 January 2015 at 14:06

    Hahaahhahaha...Pato,i love u gan..
    U are real...no be some people wey go they do like say dem no dey shit...

    God bless the security man ooo...I can totally relate to this..lmao

    ReplyDelete
  45. Playgirl4bunnie17 January 2015 at 14:09

    Man gats answer the call of nature anyday any time.lol

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 14:10

    Wrong Post I know! Just wanna rant! Locked myself up in d toilet for hours after writing this will take a shower, come out and act like all is well.

    Been dating this guy for 3years, he is nice caring and all that but...
    I have toured Europe and a few African countries with him. He is leaving Nigerian permanently in less than a month and now I feel used!
    At the initial stage of relationship I didn't care nor think about long term I just wanted ti enjoy while it last but I think I now like him maybe I l o v e (I dint say it only spelt it) so not sure. He is 65 and am 26 pleas don't say am too young to be worrying myself! Age is just a number!

    It annoys me when I hear my frends say this like my bf gave me 1mil (no be lie oh) I dey see d cash. Bf bought me diamond, bf doesn't like me flying economy, bf wants to see my people and this bf's are older than mine oh!
    I am always known for starting a trend which people tend to follow and eventually overtake me making me Stagnant! I have a little money saved. I work and school part time. Sometimes I look at my account balance and say this is more than enough Bae, calm down stop worrying your pretty head! But na Naija we dey tinzs change + my frends Acct's are so robust.
    Pls don't say am greedy it's only normal to feel this way! Bf doesn't wnt 2buy me a car says he has a thing abt buying cars, I av 2use my hard earned money 2buy my 1st ccar while my gf's are on their 2nd or 3rd rides or is it that am not smart enough? It is well.

    I am searching for a good runz girl to coach me up tired of been the good girl cos if I had another bf wouldn't be worried that this one is going away! Ok! That's all! Needed to vent.


    My name begins wit d last letter of d alphabet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 15:35

      Gyal. What exactly is your question?
      1. Are you a "runs girl" or nah?
      2. Do you want him to marry you or nah?
      3. Your friend have boyfriend older than a 65 year old. My response to that is ...........
      4. What are you doing with a 65 year old man.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 21:07

      I dey find runz girl too oh! Kikikikikiki

      Delete
  47. Pipi Lee17 January 2015 at 14:15

    if you've never been in that condition, you would never know...Thank you Akin .
    lmao

    ReplyDelete
  48. Unknown17 January 2015 at 14:15

    Same thing happened to me this year when I was on a trip from Akure to Osogbo...I had to disembark at Ilesha and I used the First Bank restroom dia....Bank Restrooms...Saving people from embarrassment since 1800

    ReplyDelete
  49. bitchplis (BentOuttaShape)17 January 2015 at 14:16

    Gtbank branches,tantalizers, mrs biggs' outlets n ojota public toilet...dunno which one is worse...#talkinfromexperience

    ReplyDelete
  50. ADEDOLAPO 17 January 2015 at 14:17

    Hahahahaha I so much know what it feels like... Lmao..

    ReplyDelete
  51. Sylvonce17 January 2015 at 14:18

    Lol! Av bin in that situation oo and trust me it wasn't funny. Come see serious sweat inside AC. Na sweet sensation fast food save me dt day esp as them no say mk I first buy something before using the rest room. Lol!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Bootylycious diva17 January 2015 at 14:20

    my own happened in yaba ,chooo ,already inside a bus to ikeja oh ,na so the thing hold me ,omo dont even know when i got down ,how i entered a public house and public toilet ,was after offloading i startted looking for water and tissue .you wont understand untill it happens to you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF)17 January 2015 at 16:59

      Hahahahahahahahahaha.....
      Looooooooolest....

      Delete
    2. Unknown18 January 2015 at 12:44

      Buheheheheheheheheheheheheehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehhehehe.......this one got me in stitches.

      Delete
  53. Unknown17 January 2015 at 14:20

    lol!nah normal thing nah, you can just enter into the bank and ask for their rest room,nobody will query you.

    ReplyDelete
  54. NORTH DAKOTA SIOBHAN (foot loose and fancy-free) 17 January 2015 at 14:22

    Lol

    ReplyDelete
  55. Ruthie17 January 2015 at 14:23

    Hmmmm.down memory lane,na so I buy ice cream chop,I was on ikorodu road na so my belle begin rumble kia u need to see as sweat dey pour from my body.I just see this fuel station (conoil)Wen I enter d toilet my belle too stop bcos d smell was horrible but how man go do na so I do my ting oh,d relief was heaven.kia!dat shit ehnn.

    ReplyDelete
  56. duchess alexis17 January 2015 at 14:23

    Not a funny suituation,God bless the security man o.hahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  57. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 14:25

    hahah..I know that feeling mehn!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Dechrystalmakeovers17 January 2015 at 14:29

    Lol... some fast food security personnels can b so cruel... they wont let u use d rest room especially if u not buying anything. Tnx God for ur yansh Pato

    ReplyDelete
  59. I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF)17 January 2015 at 14:29

    Hahahahahahahahahaha....
    LMAO...

    ReplyDelete
  60. Musiclover17 January 2015 at 14:33

    lol, na God save u patoranking

    ReplyDelete
  61. Musiclover17 January 2015 at 14:33

    lol, na God save u patoranking

    ReplyDelete
  62. Unknown17 January 2015 at 14:54

    Lmao....

    I can't relate oooo, hahahahaahah

    ReplyDelete
  63. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 14:56

    Diw guy nq comendian

    ReplyDelete
  64. Gbogbo Bigz girlz (GBG)17 January 2015 at 15:00

    Hahahahhahaahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Njide17 January 2015 at 15:09

    Hahahahaha hahaha. Shall! I have been on dis situationship but I manage to hold reach house.de shit no gree me,do anything for school again, ma so I leave my kid and sister for school dey reach home.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Topaz Interiors And Exteriors17 January 2015 at 15:24

    I can relate with this.

    Happened during my undergraduate days at OSU. Na so this thing catch me for motion ground, its always crowded. Had to ask my friends to surround me while I relieve myself.

    ReplyDelete
  67. star joy17 January 2015 at 15:44

    Ha hahahahaha laugh wan tear my belle hereOo, thanks to d security guy for understanding.

    ReplyDelete
  68. IDARAMMI17 January 2015 at 16:09

    lmao.it happened to me too o! was in class one time trying to finish up a term paper that was to be submitted that morning. was also using my phone to browse. suddenly,my tummy started feeling warm,before I knew it,I started sweating n feeling cold at the same time....and I was on the third floor in school. chain! I just got up,told my class Bestie to look after my stuff and practically ran down to our faculty toilet. on getting there,it was occupied and by a male for that matter. I wanted to die that day.kai! finally,the dude came out n I dashed in and removed pant. the thing came out like bomb n I'm sure the dude must av hrd it as he was walking down. immediately it came out,I realised I didn't carry my wallet which had tissue inside. had to manage the water from the tap there. dis tin can kill n embarrass o. as I entered class,I became humble at once

    ReplyDelete
  69. Ice Queen17 January 2015 at 16:33

    Lmao very funny
    Never experienced it

    ReplyDelete
  70. moncoeur17 January 2015 at 18:01

    Patoranking is the realest. Something inside mi just can't hate him. Mr Pato can I be ur girlie o?

    ReplyDelete
  71. Jasmine17 January 2015 at 18:02

    Has happened to me several times on my way home from school na. I go scream till driver stop the bus by force

    ReplyDelete
  72. Cynthia Iyede17 January 2015 at 18:35

    Hahhahahha patooo! I like this guy jare. I really understand how he felt cos I've been there before and must say its crazzzzzy.
    Goldscent I concur with you. The guy is good and I would love stella to replace him with Adokiye jare

    ReplyDelete
  73. francesca17 January 2015 at 18:45

    Nna my own catch me for Arena for uniport o!!! I just dey class dey sweat upon say na open space I dey...My friends dem don code na so dem follow me,o boy na so I jejely carry cab dey go house go shit b4 I come back skul...

    ReplyDelete
  74. Gidigal17 January 2015 at 18:54

    haaaa,i fear dis shit pass anytin,i was in naija recently coming from d winter in canada,i knew it won't be easy on my stomach,na so i no gree chop for lagos for fear of unwanted shit,i always got scared cos i dint want dat kinda embarrassment,thank God ii had to stay for only 12days.i respect shitttt it control u anyhow.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Blue_Belle 17 January 2015 at 19:07

    Almost every1 if not every1 has experienced dis at some point or d other. An angel comes along to save d day.

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  76. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 20:08

    I was the 3rd Main Bridge saga.... so no need to repeat my tori

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  77. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 20:47

    Uselu!!! You a clown!!!! LWTMB!!! Na your type dey cause commotion for God is good motor!!!

    Pato, you real to the core. Never stop being yourself and being humble!!!

    ***Anonymous chielo***

    ReplyDelete
  78. Unknown18 January 2015 at 00:26

    Has happened to me 3 Good times..Ist,at ose mkt in onitsha when I followed my mum to get things for my sis trad wedding..omo,come see as I dey shake like who convulsion wan do..we had to beg some people in a public yard with a very dirty toilet. I didn't mind d dirt at all oo.. 2nd was on my way to onitsha frm warri..I had to stop at ibusa junction by force..had to beg some guys again to use their very dirty toilet,dirtier than d first. 3rd was after cds at apapa lagos during nysc..if not that lagos is filled with eateries and banks where one can run into,I for shit for body. Mr bigg's came to d rescue on that day..these days are forever green in my mind. I salute shit! especially dat runny type. Who born u to hol am? U go just disgrace urself.

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  79. Anonymous18 January 2015 at 04:17

    Caught me around ojota some years bk and i rushed to one public toilet around there only to discover it was no longer there. I was directed to another one off ogudu rd. By the time I got there, i was practically a mumu: couldn't talk well again, couldn't even remember how i got there. All d toilets were occupied, and it was a turn by turn affair. I was clenching my yansh like Fela and sweatin like a grave digger. Finally begged one mallam, took his turn and went in and did the doo. The relief was like the afterglow of an orgasm. Oh, lest i forget : most times, i move around with some tissue paper carefully tucked into any pocket only clothes, or i carry two handkerchiefs so that I case of incasity, one handkerchief can serve as my tissue paper. Lessons life teaches us. I SEE PARADISE!!.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous19 January 2015 at 09:54

      Omg!!! Your write up got me in stitches jeez!!!! So funny.... Thanks dat was hilarious

      Delete
  80. delphine18 January 2015 at 08:55

    I can relate wit this very well.. I have experienced dis so many times but I can't forget two occasions....there was a day I took purging medicine (ducolax) because I hadn't gone to toilet for almst a week so I decided to purge mysef, normally if I take ducolax it only begins to work after 4hrs, so after taking it I decided to follow my mum to the market with d intention dat we will b back befor the 4 hour elapses , na so my mother begin waka d whole market and my stomach started arranging, u needed to see me I was so uncomfortable, den I asked one mallam wia d toilet ws afta, I started runnin to d toilet, when I got there I just dashed into the toilet without fetchin water outside, after d deed den I realised I had no no tissue or water, den I started calling out for them to pass water for me, by then the people outside wia already laughin at me, den dey passed a bowl of water for me from under d door, wen I came out and dey asked me for money den I realised I had left my purse with my mum and I had no money with me, na so I begin beg, d just laughed at me and told me to go as I was going dey kept laughin, I was so embarrassed... d second incident happened on my way from d gym, normally I walk home from d gym, as na so hot shit just start and I ws so tired, I just didn't know wen I just started running, serious run o, and as I kept running it was lik I ws stagnant, wen I got home I just went to d toilet and released it, d feeling after den ws heavenly....pls forgive my long episode and d typo errors na shit cause am

    ReplyDelete

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