The narratives...best place to chill out and learn,cuss out and in the end you walk away wiser.......Yes!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MARRYING A SECOND WIFE AND THE CONSEQUENCES
Hi Stella,
I am a 41 years old chartered accountant, I married a lady 14 years ago, she was 22 when we married. I had 3 children out of the marriage, the eldest being 12+ and the youngest 9. I could no longer tolerate her due to her sleeping around with other men (she is self employed and doing pretty well with my initial capital given to her).
I took the bold step about 2 years ago when I caught again with another man and chased her out. My children are actually passing through a lot emotionally at the moment. After leaving my house, I have heard of several men still sleeping with her - that rules out the possibility of reconciliation. I am a serious Christian and I do love my children.
At this moment, I am sure if I marry a new wife, it may not be an eternal sin against me, but presently, I pay N1m as school fees per term for the children, go on vacation every year, try to treat the children as far as my salary can do etc. At the moment, a new wife could be a distraction and put pressure on my expenses?
How do I cope with a new wife with 3 children already? Could I ever get a woman that can accept grown-up children to treat her as her own child?
What type of woman do I even marry- younger or much older woman? How do I start from here? I am getting tired by the day taking care of 3 children without a nanny (though the first 2 are in boarding school and the last is in primary 5), what do I do. Only constructive advise needed
This is a tough one honey,make i siddon for corner read comments.
becareful sha so that all these desperate ladies do not come unto you for financial reasons and tear your family apart.
Why are you looking for a wife?for love or to help you out.you dont sound like someone that can trust a woman again,please look for an older nanny.
*sitting down for corner*
........................................................................................................
CROSSROAD BETWEEN TWO MEN
Stella,may God bless you for your good deeds. Someone introduced me to your blog last year October and since then i have been addicted to your blog and the SDK family.
I have a problem that has been weighing me down for a long time now.I am a girl of 24 in my finals now. I have never been really lucky in relationships till i met this guy. He schools in Ghana but we are from the same state he makes me feel so special and does his best to provide the little he can for me.
I have a guy that leaves abroad that is on my neck for marriage he is from my local government and God fearing,he is very caring too and people are saying i should consider him.He is 43 and is settled. My boyfriend is just in his 20O Level and we are age mates.I need honest advice from your blog readers.Thanks Stella and may God continue to bless You.
you are still young,why are you letting people pressure you into marrying?you wanna marry a man almost twice your age?nothing wrong with that but interests might clash!...e be like say you get longa throat syndrome abi?
hian!...make i fold my hands and legs and pretend to be a mammy water.
Poster 1...I think you need to focus more on raising your kids..tho its hard staying without a woman..If u really need a woman let it be a matured mind..could be older or younger..Age doesn't define maturity!
ReplyDeletePoster 2 !!!! your matter pass me...
Poster1 needs a wife stella ,he is still young but where he wud c a good woman,that Idnt know
DeletePoster 2, none of them is good for u, be patient and enjoy life, ur real man will come. So, at 24, d girl shud be waiting for a 200 level guy to get his shit together? BVs, get real Abeg. Poster, look out for another person
DeleteIf I were you I'd ignore the man abroad. They are deceitful
DeletePoster one marry d lady that said she she can't have kids. She sounds nice and she wanted a mature guy. Abi how una see am.
DeletePoster 1 : Please get a woman. My dad raised 6 of us alone. Beat that! But he told us he needed a woman and needed our consent. We were aged btwn 15 and 4. He got a woman. Hmmm. His happiness was shortlived because she started counting her share of property bla bla bla. Nobody told him to throw her out. Lol. That is after we don suffer in silence cos we were feeling sorry for him.
DeleteBut guess what? He found another woman who wanted 'companionship' just like he did and everyone was happy. My point is,
Your kids first!
Companionship , 2nd (u definitely need that) but be careful who you get and please prepare your kids for it. Ensure they know you love them and its all about them but you also need to be fair to the new woman. If possible, have your will on standby . And pls reduce yoir expenses any way you can . If you get a working class lady, it'll save you half the trouble. Pele dear
Poster 1, a lady sent in her chronicle sometime back saying she wants to marry a man that doesn't want kids, maybe Stella should give you her contact details so you guys can talk
DeletePoster 1 my honest opinion. Don't 'look for' a wife. Focus on yourself and kids and learn to trust again. But if you ever decide you are ready to love again, go for a single mom that has her own money. Trust me, that is the only way you will find eternal happiness. Good luck
DeletePoster 1, Look for an older matured woman who has her own money, and has no intention of having kids... Dont even try a young girl biko...
DeleteWhy do I see a catch in poster 1, a man who can throw stories around like this and put figures out there is a dangerous man to marry. This is a note of warning to those who see every glitter as gold. My one cent
DeleteAbroad husband?
ReplyDeleteMy dear run!
43 and isn't married,or you think you are the Angel he never met all the 43 years of his life?
Abi? You make sense o,but maybe he is a late bloomer..its not cast on stones you know.
DeletePoster #1
DeleteLook for a matured woman who have seen it all. Date for a while, watch carefully, and don't rush into anything you'll regret. Be wise.
Poster #2
43 year old man living abroad. Is he separated? divorced? or windowed?
Baby girl run run. For your information and as a person living abroad, 99.8% of our men living abroad live with one woman or another. Very few have a place they can call their own. It's not their fault it's the system and how it has been designed. They have no choice. Don't be deceived.
I'll think carefully about the 200 level student. Today is not tomorrow. Be smart. All that glitter ain't gold.
most times when i see templates about cheating i direct it to GUYS.. But ladies why cheat? It is really disturbing seeing a few ladies hanging from one man to the other. Anyways, Poster 1 maybe u were not doing things right this prompted her to cheat. Seek for an older lady tho. To prevent future cheating excercise..
ReplyDeletePoster 2: why date ur age mate? Where is the class? Isn't he supposed to be a boy to u? But hey i dont advice u to marry someone twice ur age.. His time is almost near. Lolz.
But then, what do i know.
I would wish u drag all of these untill after ur service. I mean most gurlz get their hearthrob during service years.. I wish u all the best..
#I SEE DEAD PEOPLE...
BLOG ANALYSER: yeah! Service year is a sweet time
DeleteOmo na older women cheat pass o! Go ask dem uti n other gigolos.
DeleteG- Pharm sometimes ur comments are odd. What do you mean his time is almost Near? You must be silly and out of your Mind. Are you God that gives life and take one. Because you think you can kill a fly u think its easier to take one's Life. Young and Old die. But we always ask God for his Mercy. for a Longer Life.
DeleteAge is just a Number. I even prefer older Men that will pamper me and tolerate me.
Because I love to be pampered and seen as one Young Sweet Wife. but its my Choice and Ok with it.
If you Love him Marry him.
You are 24 years ur older Boy is yet to finish school and fix up things marriage for that one will be like in 10 yrs. Whereas by then u are suppose to be closing childbirth issues. Pray and think well. Still don't rush.
Poster 1.
Yes u have every reason to divorce her because she has eered you but if you can still fix up issues back good.
Second wife you can still find.
With all your children a single and young lady will marry you.
Your ideal Lady u will find. Your Age is still young.
Just give it a try and pray to God.
In your place of Work or Church haven't you gotten attracted to any lady? You can as well start from there.
Also I read on this blog last week one christian Lady who is 34 yrs Old who thinks She can never birth a child because I don't agree with her because Shez not God, The Doctors have said but God hasn't said.You could contact her, because she needs a Hubby who will marry her and don't ask her to birth kids. She said she's a Child of God. and with wat you said am sure u don't want more kids because your expenses are high already. May God help you as u continue to search. But if you want me to search for you for correct beautiful young and kindhearted and disciplined chic I could help you out. and if you are serious and Geniune. reach me on: olunedo@yahoo.com
I also thought of her. If u r sincere poster 1, contact her. Wishing u d best
Deletemost times when i see templates about cheating i direct it to GUYS.. But ladies why cheat? It is really disturbing seeing a few ladies hanging from one man to the other. Anyways, Poster 1 maybe u were not doing things right this prompted her to cheat. Seek for an older lady tho. To prevent future cheating excercise..
ReplyDeletePoster 2: why date ur age mate? Where is the class? Isn't he supposed to be a boy to u? But hey i dont advice u to marry someone twice ur age.. His time is almost near. Lolz.
But then, what do i know.
I would wish u drag all of these untill after ur service. I mean most gurlz get their hearthrob during service years.. I wish u all the best..
#I SEE DEAD PEOPLE...
Poster 1,first get an older nanny that will take care of the kids when u at work!then look for a single lady with one or two kids.dnt rush into marriage take ur time to study her or u might even be lucky to meet a lady without kids
ReplyDeletePoster 2, d two guys no be am at all, student nd 45years old bros abroad
DeleteSo the womaan will dump her expenses on the man abi?
DeleteChilling to read comments n learn from d experienced...
ReplyDeletePrayer bae
DeleteYeah women are there that can love back. Why not try d poster who complained of being lonely (single mom) on in house news some days back. So many single mom's out there! Marry again, God will see you through.
DeletePoster 1- u need to marry someone in her mid 30s who already has a child(ren) and maybe will have one more kid for you. I can suggest someone if you're interested
ReplyDeleteP1 don't u have a sister that's single that can live with u? If u must marry, marry an older woman cos even me I don't trust myself when it comes to money!! N it will be hard to c a younger woman who will treat ur kids as hers,leave all those pretend stories,i can also pretend to b caring to land a goldmine!. P2 stop dating ur agemates in school,wetin sef? If u get preggers,that ur school bf will pick race.
ReplyDeleteThere are decent younger women out there who can treat the kids like theirs. Just that we are very few.
DeletePoster 1- Pray about it. Once bitten, twice shy.
Poster 2- Oya! Face front. Both are wrong.
P2 na long throat dey worry you. Settled and have everything in deed. I'm sure you hid out some info regarding the 43 year old man.
ReplyDeleteFrom your mail, I can possibly read your mind has gone to this man and you are just trying to convince your conscience my feeding it opinion from this blog, since you knew greedy ladies like yourself abound here and they will tell you to go for him.
What kinda woman enjoys a man twice her age??
#egbaman
She wants d abroad guy,she just wan read Wetin we go write lol
DeleteLots of women prefer older men besides there is nothing wrong in poster two hoping to better her lot by marrying an already made older guy so please stop castigating her.
DeletePoster 1:Take your time and look for a decent lady. Do not be in a hurry to remarry. Am sure there are some decent ladies on this blog who will make a good wife for you. So please read the comments carefully and make a pick from the numerous offers.
Poster 2: Follow your heart and if you prefer the guy abroad, then ignore his age but I will not advice you to count on your school boyfriend, because he still has a lot of growing up to do and as a lady, time is not your friend.
Poster 1, as a lot of people have adviced; make sure your children come first in any decision you make. You might be better off with an older woman, probably a single mother too or a lady in her thirties and over and also someone with a job or who is financially ok who just wants companionship and a family just like you.
DeletePoster 2, I'm not advicing you to pick one or the other but I just want to bring your attention back to the recent trend in America of nigerian men who are ending up killing their much younger wives for one reason or the other after being married for couple of years. You might want to go and google those stories again and see if any red flags pop up concerning your situation. Not all they glitters is gold. I'm not trying to scare you but knowledge is always power my dear.......... Just Me
Poster 2- why do you want to marry your ancestor
ReplyDelete@ poster 1, i feel 1 million naira per term for each child is too much, considering d fact that there are 3 terms in a yr...u culd get cheaper schools around with the same quality of education u desire...As for d new wife, if u feel u deserve one, get one, buh SHINE UR EYES WELL!!! Most ladies cant take care of their step-children like their own, but there are few exceptionds too.......MAYORESS
ReplyDeleteHe said 1m the children not 1m for a child. Oga relax, allow your children reach an age they can defend themselves before bringing another woman as a wife into your house. Just like stella said look for a nanny, not stay at home own o, to take care of your children, meanwhile file for the custody of your children, as the mother will be a bad influence to them.
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: some times these skuls offer things that other skuls can't. Eg free trips abroad. I am of the school of thought that believes that don't spare any thing wen spending for your children's education. If u have, why not?
DeleteHe did not ask for advice on school fees. Mind your bloody business on that issue!! Just advice him on whether he should marry again or not. Amebo idiot!
DeleteP1, look dude, don't marry again. These girls out there, including the older women, are vultures and will destroy your family to get at your money. Two kids are in boarding school, the other will soon join them. Get a house help and focus on your kids. Once they start university, get a much older, divorced woman with her own kids and DATE her. Why you want to rush into marriage again is what I don't understand.
Did I miss something or the man actually mentioned that he pays 1m on each child? I don't think he did,1m is d total amount he pays on d children and he's not complaining
DeleteMadam mayoress, he didn't ask for your opinion about the school fees, it's his money and can spend it however he wants. Focus on the issue at hand!
DeletePoster one, Kai I feel your pain oo. The sweat and stress of taking care of the kids. Men out there I hope you can see the kind of wahala women go through just to keep the home in order. That your wife,are you sure whatever is doing her is normal? Bcos I don't think it is oo. My advice leave getting married out of this and get an older nanny to the work for you. Such as training them,keeping the house in order,taking care of the home and many more. But please pay her well. Getting married again to one lady is liking using your hand to drag trouble into your peaceful life oo. Some women can't be trusted abeg! May God help you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,every detail of your narrative sounds disjointed. Make I read comment. I have nothing to offer you. May God help you too.
BLOG ANALYSER: @poster 1 this is a great advice
DeleteDid you just tell him to find a nanny to train his children? Are you mad??? Bros abeg train your children yourself jor. You need a nanny to help with the cooking and cleaning. That's it! How do some of you reason??? House help should train your children. Na wa o
DeleteTake it easy,i don't think they mean it the way your taking it,
DeleteStella, pls be uploading comments quick na. My fingers almost went numb yesterday due to constant refreshing.
ReplyDeleteSecond story lady, u are young, pls don't rush into marriage
ReplyDeleteDiscover ur self.
Poster 1,i understand the need for companionship. But you need to heal from the old relationship and trust again. Am single mum and if u don't mind we can be friends. I need companionship just as u do. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteP2,dont rush into marriage pls.
Ole!!!
DeleteYou don hear vacation, one million naira, etc. Thief.
Bloody gold digger.
Hmmm!! Poster one over here
DeletePoster 1 gbata Bia here!!
DeleteMadam I hope you won't change oo??!!
Dis comments are hilarious, laff wan kee me here
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteI have an uncle that was in your position. He remarried a young girl who birthed 3 kids in quick succession, putting a lot of financial strain on him. Doing nursery school runs when he's almost a grandfather.
Get a nanny from an agency to take care of your youngest to relieve you of some stress.
If you want to have relationships, focus on professional, matured ladies. If she already has kids, it's a plus as she won't be desperate to have more kids.
Poster 2:
How can we advise you when we don't know you all?
Get a piece of paper, write your expectations in a relationship. Then write the merits and demerits of each guy. Compare and come to a conclusion.
Aunt Stelz cud u hook me up wit dat 41 year old man? I wanna settle down too but all dis insecure boys wey full town no be my spec. Maybe we cud develop something, me n dis man. I hv my vices wch I will mke known to him, along wit other details. Thank u
ReplyDeleteTaaaarh!!
Deletelol u b anonymous na
Deleteu don hear 1million skul fees na ur eye don shine,hahaha,una too funny 4 dis blog o,look 4 ya own o,God wil provide 4 u n I,lolz,both of dem may setlle later u wudnt knw o
DeleteYou are anonymous nah with vices again hmmmmm
DeleteY are u attackin d poor girl na, do u no if. God used Stella as a mediator 4 dis man 2 meet Mrs right, abeg no insult me biko o
DeleteNa me write dis post o. Lol. Y'all are funny sha, gosh! I love u! All comments noted.
DeletePoster one! Do not I mean do not marry another woman again!!! You can look for a fellow divorcee and date. But do not marry again! Look I had a step mom (she's late now) if you see the harsh treatment melted on my younger ones and I.
ReplyDeleteShe would insult us, beat us, starve us. Etc cook separate meal for us with rubbish n spoilt ingredients. She wanted us to start attending cheap schools. If i start writing I won't finish. She would lie against us. Pour us hot water. Make us sleep outside. Mosquito will finish our body. Sometimes we don't bath. Turned us to slaves. We started eating once a day. Wearing rag clothes. Mbok. Save your kids the torture already. I ran to marry.
BLOG ANALYSER: Sorry dear at annon 14:26, I can imagine ur pain. At poster one, a widow won't be a bad idea. someone with children
Deleteeeya
Deleteposter 1 my candid advice u can be without a woman for nw ,jst get an advanceed nanny.Ladies aint smiling these days.And if u wish take ur time to date much later u may never know.Nut some women eh what do u want nw this lizard had a good man n has lost him nne keep fucking biko.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 if the older man is rich then u aint in love,dont fall for his i love u stories settled or not be wise.U r just 24.
I grew up with step mum around us sincerely it wasn't funny! Be very careful with your decision
DeletePoster 1,it seems your only interest is your kids,therefore re-marrying may not be expedient for you.in order to avoid making mistakes again and putting your kids at risk,i'l go with Stella's advice,get a mature,educated and responsible nanny to help out with the kids.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:i dont even know what to tell you.just be careful with all the pressure being mounted on you,just to avoid stories that touch.
Poster one, I would advice you look for Nanny or if really you wanna settle down, look out for older lady that would accept your kids as hers and please pray for God's direction... Goodluck to you....
ReplyDeletePoster 2, don't ever rush into marriage to avoid rushing out, know what you want and go for it. Forget age in marriage because its a mere number, look out for maturity, endurance and tolerance.. A guy that would love you and treat you as his friend, sister, mother and queen.... Lastly, ask God for his direction to avoid mistake... God's favour my dear
U said it all, age is jst a number, seek the face of God, that guy in his 40s wil hav the patience to tolerate u and love u as if u were his life
DeleteAawwww@first poster! #hugsssss
ReplyDeleteWhat sort of woman will be cheating randomly like this bikonu?
Please,if you ever consider marriage again my brother..shine your eyes well! If possible,go for a woman in her mid 30's please sir!or even a nice single mother..we have a lot of them here,brainy,homely,pretty and level-headed!! Do not go for all these instagram, flighty 20 something girls ooh..they will just bring chaos into your home and you sound meticulous already(probably due to your profession). Those kids need a mother,not a child like them!
Just don't be in a hurry to settle,study any lady you get hooked up with or come across very well,make sure they are not in it for anything other than love,friendship,family!
Snoop!Snoop!Snoop! Your life and that of your kids are involved here...People carry lots of baggage these days looking for where to dump em(horrible character,wickedness,insensitivity,terrible past they won't let go of,falsehood..etc)..you are not a young bright eyed man,this is a second chance..use it wisely!! I wish you all the best dear..you deserve a companion in my own opinion...We still have good women out there willing to take in 3 adorable kids,but if you know you are not willing to invest some time in making sure you get the right woman for you and your kids...abeg sir,don't even bother!
The man no go dey setia akwara?
DeleteIphie, don't I just love your comments!
DeleteSecond poster- you are almost my age but you sound so immature. You don't know what you want in a man. You should know what you want so that you don't fall for anything or get carried away by transient things.
ReplyDeletePoster 1-ask God for direction and don't rush into anything. Wishing you the best
NO comments but I wept for d first narrative.
ReplyDeletePoster one how is it a Sin? Divorce her na, even the bible supports Divorce on the ground of Infidelity. Or am I not getting this story well?
ReplyDeleteLook forr someone to marry to serve as a companion and to take care of your kids, you talked about sin;how long before you start committing adultery or Masturbating? That BV that wrote last week would suit you fine, she doesn't want Kids anymore,m since you have Kids already im sure it would work out fine between you people, #justsaying, but don't just be alone, Kids need a Mother Figure in their Life.
Poster #1,pls I beg u not to marry again,get a nanny to help out with the house chores and continue to be there for them the best way you can,no woman will treat them like their own mother.if eventually,u still feel like marrying later in life,by then they would be grown enough that no woman can maltreat them anyhow.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to say there is no good mother figure out there but it will be soooo hard and takes the grace of God
Poster 2,pls do not rush cos of what people are saying, only u knows d best of them that u can live with ,so choose wisely and also age doesn't matter dear,how long will it take ur boyfriend to start earning and be ready for marriage? You are young today but tomorrow u are getting older,so d idea of you too young for marriage is out of the way as stells said..choose wisely
Why would u in Ur right mind want to marry another bitch. Enjoy your freedom. Go on vacation and Fuck some king of diamonds whores. Fuck some thick strippers. You will be a hero to Ur kids and Ur schlong will thank you for it.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile Stella I hear lamido sanusi is set to marry a 17 year old.
This aboki in Nigeria won't kill us ooooo
Poster1 just get a girlfriend cos u need company ,Dnt marry her,so that if she misbehaves or treat ur kids anyhow u wud chase her out but dnt impregnate her o,cos if she has a kid for u,she will not leave d house,no good woman is out there ooo,as long as children are not from a particular woman she might end up treating dem bad
Delete@ Anon 14.35: this your advice hmmm thank God the man said he is God fearing so I guess he would know better than this sort of advice..
DeleteSooo he should start fornicating????
DeleteNna mehn!
Odiegwu!
Poster 1: ur chances of getting a good woman as a second wife is quite slim. Most of dem might pretend to be good before marriage n then turn to tiger after marriage. Like Stella suggested, u can employ an older nanny. Pls can u also find out y ur wife sleeps around. Could it be a spiritual problem? Cos for her to continue after losing her marriage amazes me. if u must remarry, pls be very careful to avoid ur children suffering.
ReplyDeleteposter 2: y do u want to marry a man of 43 years who u don't even know too well. Is it bcos he lives around or probably rich? How well do u know this man? Y is he still single at 43? Am not saying u shld remain with ur boyfriend that is still in 200 level cos he might disappoint u too.but u can still meet better men in future.
*abroad*
DeleteFor d first story,I think stella gave the perfect answer,a nanny is ok. Ladies don hear 1mil as skul fees per term,all deir sense organs don dey stand. Lol. For d 2nd,don't go for d one in ghana,d 43years old man is ok. Think of how owu will blow u if u stick to d one in ghana.
ReplyDeleteBLOG ANALYSER@ Greg hahahahahah, it is funny but it is true. Some ladies sha. For me if we have it nd can afford it why not. I believe in quality education. @poster 1 pls get married to a widow or an older woman when your children are tru with education and can fend for themselves. They will appreciate you nd even encourage u to coz u will be needing a woman for companionship.
DeleteOnyii Asa... it haff do.
DeleteHow many advises you wan give poster 1 today???
Haba. You don hear ego, all ur internal n external organs don stand attention. It has do biko.
Onyii ASA is a married woman nah. What does she stand to gain from the man's money
DeleteP1---heed to What Stella wrote
ReplyDeleteP2....Also heed to what Stella wrote
Waiting for comments to roll in.....
ReplyDelete2..Why u wan rush go marry,dem tell u say u go die young?
Delete1...God punish her wherever she is.All dos foolish wives from d pit of hell,God will deliver men from dem.I hate cheatin wives wit a passion
My guy, i am in the same situation.. 44, divorced and 3 kids. You get all kinds of different advises but believe me, take your time. Marriage is not your priority now.. Look towards family or older help/nanny for your kids and focus on the future of the kids. Spend time with them and continue to make money to give them the best of life.. Priority is the children.. Take care of them, teach them right and educate them right. Family and Older nanny is the way to go. As for dating, play the field..but be very careful and explain to anyone you are dating that marriage and kids are not your priority. You have 3 already. Take care of those ones. As time goes, you might probably meet a divorcee like you with kids.. Then you can think of companionship.. But in your state and as Stella correctly said, you cannot trust so DO NOT fool yourself by getting into a serious relationship or considering marriage. I CAN TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE.. Play the field and have fun while staying focus..
ReplyDeleteNice comment, sir. Poster 1 take this man's advice
DeleteDo you mind telling us your own story?
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER:@annon 14:41 GBAM. I agree
DeleteBest advice ever from someone in the same position.
DeleteAproko! Wetin u wan take I'm story do?lol. He has proffered advice based on experience. That does it.
DeletePlease be careful how you play the field. No,insult but you men are not strong and,can be easily fooled by women. All we need to do is fake it and you turn against your kids for some tramp. Pls focus on making friends, do not sleep around...if you are a christian, it is a sin. Life of a divorcee is not easy but it is what it is. Keep yourself sir. I am a divorcee and I chose to focus on my kids and career. It is not easy but you must stay firm for your kids. They did not ask to be in this situation. God willing when they are older you can find love or if you are lucky you will find love now,
DeletePoster I tink d lady who wrote d other day that she dsnt want kids is ur best bet now , tell stella to hook u up wnt her,if u like her go ahead, a man needs a woman or u wait till ur kids are grown abit
DeleteAnon 17:52
DeleteI just love you already.
Since he is a Christian, 'playing d field' is wrong.
Just allow God to lead you sir.
That's why he is your father
How on God's earth do one convince him or herself that delicate issues like this will get answers here? What do you make of a 100+ pieces of advice? Whatever happened to the instrument of prayer? Please talk to God about this and like Adam, go to sleep, you will wake up with your missing rib in your arms.
DeleteAwwww Poster 1,may GoD see ur heart n BLESS u.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy taking care of kids,let alone a man and doing that single-handedly.
and u are stil young and need love too.and companionship.
and yes,there are plenty women who wil love u just d way u are.
provided u are properly divorced from ur first wife.
I have a friend-in-law who is in love wit a man dat is no longer wit d wife.they have just one child.and she being from a strong catholic family resisted dis love and resisted it buh den d dude was relentless.
Buh along d line he got tired and just sat dere mopping and d ex-wife who by den had remarried was having a ball.
Back to d story,she came to me and told me every.her dad being a knight And all dat.and again wot peeps wil say buh i encouraged her to go ahead n follow her heart.she didn't cause their divorce,d ex don re-marry.
It was den she told me Something that I didn't know about before...I was shocked.
she said there were processes.that d marriage has to be annuled first.and na to go to Rome o.can't remember all she said now.buh wot I am trying to say is dis....
Tidy up d divorce properly and den keep praying....GoD wil send someone before u know it.ok?
Nna Jisike!
Men like u make me very PROUD!
Poster 2,ur boyfriend is stil on school and may have no immediate plans of settling down in d next 2years.
And yes,d other guy is old for u at 40-something.
I would have adviced u focus on school first and serving and stuff and just go wit the ride and see where GoD takes u.
GW...onu nsa.
Delete"Men like you make me very PROUD"
....and who are you again??? SDK's blog yeyebrity...mcheeeeew
Rome ke...you sure the guy was not lying
DeletePoster 1, mayb u should just get a help and dats all cause some women are evil. Poster 2 hmmmm I can't really say u should wait for that 200lvl guy o cause all dis boys cannot be trusted, if he finish school now might turn his back at you as for the older guy my dear age is nothing but a number as far as the luv is dia.
ReplyDeletePoster one:if u want someone to takia of ur kids look for a nanny...but if u are looking for love luk for a woman dat is older let me say in her late thirties
ReplyDeletePoster two:ur still young...do u reli want to get marid or is it bcz d guy is pressuring u to do so for me I wud tell u to face ur book...but u have d final say
Poster 1, mayb u should just get a help and dats all cause some women are evil. Poster 2 hmmmm I can't really say u should wait for that 200lvl guy o cause all dis boys cannot be trusted, if he finish school now might turn his back at you as for the older guy my dear age is nothing but a number as far as the luv is dia.
ReplyDeleteSecond poster
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a life long commitment to one partner...As a single lady,i had lots of suitors and narrowed it down to my hubby..
It was not by my power,intuition alone..God saved me a couple of times by just scattering what seemed like a perfect match made in heaven!
No one will ever make this decision for you,we do not know the young men in question..i have heard stories of high school sweethearts waiting for each other and walking down the aisle finally..i have also heard about disappointments..the lady waits for years and gets jilted..or the man gets jilted too..
Abroad hubbies too have their own stories...they might be living double lives..I am telling you all these so you know that other people's woes will not be yours... you know your heart desires...you know what you want in a man...I don't believe both of them hold equal spaces in your heart..
There are a few things to consider as you prepare to become a man's wife:
*when do you want to settle(age wise)
*are you done with schooling? Do you want to get more education and possibly start working before you settle down?
*who do you have absolute peace of mind with? Who gives you that rest of mind,like is gonna be alright kind of feeling?
*How is their family? Nuclear and extended? Are they enlightened?(not necessarily class room educated).Do you share same beliefs,views with them,history of violence,stampeding on a woman's right?
*knowing God can never be over emphasised! It saves us wives in this world filled with random sex with all kinds,wife battery etc.
Lastly my dear,confusion will come...remember that time will tell....even some that bought engagement rings to dazzle me where no where to be found when push came to shove..time will tell. May God be with you!
The questions are endless dear but I just outlined these few to let you know that apart from love....a lot of things can make or break a home! You must know the man you want to marry very well..do not cave in to family pressure.
Bia Nwanyi aah. Stop writing epistle, ds z 2015.
DeleteCrying more than the bereaved.
Mcheeeeeww
Iphie dearie God bless you!
DeletePoster 2 come over hear. Anony just shut up already!!!
Iphie, just shut the fuck up! How the hell does ur husband cope with a parrot like u??!!! Must u always talk?!
DeleteNarrator 2: take some chill pills, graduate and start your career. A forty three year old man is too old for you and your bf still has a long way to go. All these marriage yarns don tire me.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 1: Get an older nanny or invite your mother to come stay with you (if you still have one and she's fit health wise) and give yourself time to heal. Another woman in your life will bring resentment from your kids. (they are still young to understand while their dad and mum can't be together and step mothers come with their own bags of issues). When they are much older, you can remarry. Wishing you the very best with whatever decision you take.
Poster 1, i think it will be very difficult for you to find a lady who loves you unconditionally. Cos at the look of things, you might end up marrying gold diggers who will be only after what uv got to offer her. If you must get a new wife, disguise yourself. Don't let the lady know that you are wealthy. Don't rush things with her either, take it slowly to know if truly she will make a good wife and mother to you and your kids. An older woman is preferable.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, follow your heart. The ball is in your court. Above all, go for happiness and not for material things.
Let poster one just get a girlfriend , women !! Hmmm they will treat ur kids anyhow,am a woman nd iknw dis tinz o except few ones n he might not be lucky to meet dem, I grew up wt a step mum n iknw wat am saying
DeletePoster 2, if you like the Man and won't have a problem with the age difference 25yrs from now when he's almost 70 and you are still in your 40's then no problem.
ReplyDeleteAs for the other one, take it from someone in a Long term relationship it doesn't always work, he's still in 200L and you are 24! Ha! Mine is not even that bad but the challenges you will face when all your mates start getting Married(some would have already) and Boo is just starting his life, is not for the faint hearted;(in my case we have a very good reason for waiting) your Boo might even be the one to get tired of the thing, so unless you don't plan to get married on time stick with him.
Hmmmmm, i tink its love dah matas, follow ur heart my dear and dnt let age be a barrier to u........dont rush into marriage even tho you aint growing younger, let God to direct ur pathh......buh a 43yrs still single? *sigh*
ReplyDelete@ poster 2- if you think you like the guy that wants to marry you, then go ahead because this 200 level boy might wake up tomorrow and decide to move on.
ReplyDelete@ poster 1- there are so many ladies that want a man to call their own that have reached menopause or nearing meno. Discuss this with the lady and tell her that your kids need a mother and you expect that from her. Don't go and marry a young girl. Go for a matured, working class lady. All the best in your search. I have a friend who is in her late 40 ' s / early 50 ' s who wants to settle down too. She is financially ok. If you are interested in the hook up, hit me up on sexymissy4u@yahoo.com
Narrative one: Look for a nanny in her 50s or 60s. A widow or divorcee is better. Girls of these days are not smiling oh, don't bring one chance into your home.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: Marry the older man and settle your self. Don't be stupid like my friend who left her older guy, a medical doctor in the UK to follow one young guy who continously cheats on her. You think that small boy loves you abi? Wait until he makes little change you go know how far.
I kept scrolling looking for a comment that is my exact sentiment on both stories; at least to save me the stress of typing. Here it is! Thank you JayEm for typing out my exact thoughts on both stories
DeleteCos u r lucky with ur own old man doesn't mean d older guy will be a good choice for her
DeleteThis Benin prostitute that was fucking her friends father is here running her mouth!
DeleteBitchplis na fight. She only gave her opinion. Which I like too
DeletePoster 1, if u look carefully, u would still get a single mum of 1 and not too old woman to marry, u need a companion, it's not easy to stay alone, loneliness will set in especially when Ur kids all grow up, u need to look carefully and pray, u will get a partner.but u have to be very careful whilst @ it. The lord is Ur strength. Poster 2, don't marry d man abroad, u haven't said u love him, marriage is for life, he is gonna take advantage of u, he might not even love u. U still have a long way to go, u have to enjoy Ur life and date first, marriage will come
ReplyDelete@Poster 1; Do a paternity test first. If your wife is as bad as you say, you'll want to be sure of the paternity of your children. Second, do not re-marry. Ur reasons for wanting to do that are misplaced. Also, with a history of a cheating wife behind you, any new wife go hear weehhh for ya hand
ReplyDeleteIs this necessay? Wouldn't he rather not know? He's taken care of d kids for years, a negative paternity test now would do more harm than good
DeleteN1, don't be in a rush to marry. If you meet a good lady you fall in love with and loves you back, you can think marriage. Age has nothing to do with it. Don't "chase" marriage so you don't make another mistake
ReplyDeletePoster 1. If ure not marrying for love then u just look for a nanny to take care of the kids. Poster 2. U alone knows what u want in a husband, its not early for u to get married but pls marry for the right reason n not just cos of what pple say.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, sincerely to see a woman who will take your children as her own will be very hard, cos we women we get our own no be lie, yes u may c but its hard and she may change ova time, but God bless my mum she was still d best. Just find a gud nanny who can take care of d little one.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 I don't know what you want cos u sef don't know, just concentrate on your study first nd pray for d kind of man you want to marry biko. Don't let ojukokoro cause u future wahala.
Poster 1. Please don't get married to another woman( I hope u were satisfying for wife in bed). No woman will treat another woman's children like hers. She'll take in as soon as you get married and things will change. Just look for a nanny and no matter what don't fall in love with her. You can have a girlfriend though. *wink
Delete2nd poster, to me ehn, when he gets older your interest and decisions might clash. You are too young to be married to a 43 years old man, why can't u start with someone your age???
ReplyDeleteWaiting for experienced bvs for advice. Wishing you both the best.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
Mr man @poster 1.I know how stressful it seems.I've had uncles in your shoes before.I'll advice u to employ an older nanny who can assist in taking care of the kids.That way,u'll ve time to face ur job and find the little extra time for constructive dating.When the kids re all adults u can decide if u'll remarry or just have a live-in partner
ReplyDelete@poster 2 @24 u re considering a 43 year old man,seriously,it shouldn't even be considered.U aint that desperate.Just concentrate and graduate with good grades,get a good job and everything will just fall in place.
My 2 cents
**lululiscious**
who will marry him @50?
DeletePoster 2 what do u really want in a relationship? Can u find it in the older man?
ReplyDeleteDo u really want to get married now?
24 years is not too young.
Please u are in your finals and what are u doing with a 200 level student.
Am not advising you to marry the older man please.
But think about where u find happiness.
@poster no 1,trust me ive been there but as a woman,having to deal with a man who would sleep with anything including a coke bottle,more painful is not been responsible... but I can say to you what you need is friendship or companionship somebody to talk to who shares your common interest, you will encounter all sorts on this journey but I tell you,you would sleep easy if you find a companion but for now abort mission New wife,allow Urself heal,try out new hobbies discover new and hidden talents and trust me you will be fine...and above all submit your petition to God he's gat you no matter the weather
ReplyDeleteLol sorry to laugh pls, but did you say coke bottle...that was hilarious. Community Peen syndrome is what is worrying that man
DeleteLol Yelz ke...but to God be the glory m out and fly
DeleteNarrative nos 1. Please look for a wife please. Pray that God will direct you on that. You can't be alone please, you are still 41 for crying out loud. You need to meet a woman that is ready to settle down, there are so many good women out there that life has dealt with too like you have,i tell you,please let God guide you on that. And guys like you married fine shape,fine face character Zero wife's. So this time around look inward, character and personality. All the best dear. Am single ooooo, *shines teeth*just make friends again.
ReplyDeleteNo 1 plz get a an elderly nanny to take care of ur kids..
ReplyDelete#1#:you are young,you should consider marriage again or you want to continue having chicks outside,there are still women who can take care of you and love your children
ReplyDelete#2# I don't really know what to tell you oh,what of after waiting for the 200level guy he fucked you up
Poster1 pls don't marry another wife
ReplyDeletePoster2 longer longer! No go marry ur papa age mate o!
Poster one: what you crave for is companionship. I can imagine the emotional trauma ur kids are been out through!!! Hmmmm a woman who is mature and truly loves you will suffice .
ReplyDeleteAnd make sure you get someone who is financially stable as well, since u already have so much financial responsibility, the bible grants divorce on the account of adultery!!
All the best
Poster two !! Face your book!!! Place your priorities right!!!
Yes. Someone who is already financially stable
DeleteBut this poster1. Abeg no vex ooo. U divorced your Wife becos of Adultery? but be sincere with yourself all the while she was with you didn't u fuck other gehs?. If yes go sort issues with your wife and bring her home
DeleteP2,the older man never marry?
ReplyDeleteP1,dat's hard.
Let me wait for TGW,IPHONE and others
Nar 1
ReplyDeleteThe Lord will see you through, be prayerful about the wife you are looking for.
Nar2
What is the problem here? Wait, let me tell you: you are longer throat and an opportunist, you saw the word "abroad" n you started getting confused.
My advise, marry the abroad old man and send another chronicle when you must have gotten your into a soup which you will not be able to come out of. Guy pushing drugs or into human trafficking abroad, he might join you in the business as well when things are not going smooth.
*Sizzle
Poster 1:u don't need a wife,get an older nanny to take care of d kids..poster 2:na longer throat dey worry u,marry ur papa mate and face the consequence later in future...u are on ur own oooo....
ReplyDeleteNarrative nos 2.Please let the holy spirit guide you on this. What I typed disappeared again. So annoying.
ReplyDeleteNarrative one: If you must remarry, its advisable to look out for a divorced or widow with kids already. Who's God fearing for the sake of your children. May God open your heart and guide you through.
ReplyDeleteN1 you don't need to get married again, you can have a girlfriend just to hold body...then look for an older nanny, one who will take care of you and the kids like she will do to hers.....the woman should be married with all her children realm grown...if possible you can bring the woman and her husband to live with you( that's if your house is big enough to take in extra two adults), there presence in the house will go a long way, at least your kids will have a mother figure.
ReplyDeleteN2 trust me its not easy to cope with university live after your done with school, especially when you start going through hard times, only very strong and genuine love can sustain u two....what makes you think the one abroad is caring....look before you leap, matter of fact, you are still young (not too young though)
@marrying a second wife ,if you can't tolerate her pls come and marry me I'm 24 and have a beautiful daughter. Email me let's hook up.
ReplyDeletemy dear forget that 24 years old pikin ,if you love the 43 years old man go for him ,is better to be an old man s princess than being a young boys slave ,if you marry a 24 years old boy with time ,you will turn grand mother and his still rocking better marry a man half your age ,and age together .
ReplyDeleteposter number 2.You dont have a problem stop creating one for yourself .
N1 get a nanny eh. Dont come and complicate any womans life because you are not over your 1st wife, if you were...her sleeping around would not matter. This is what women go through so buckle up and focus on those kids, you said they are going through emotional trauma. Why bring in a woman to make them feel worse?
ReplyDeleteN2 Graduate, get a job and get stable. Dont you read the stories on this blog. Too many women run and marry without having their own and then they get in trouble. Abroad husband 43 yr old man, a man that old has played and played and noone wants to marry him. It is you, the naive student that they want to pin on him. Graduate first, you might meet someone outside these two. Before that, establish yourself small eh nne.
Poster No1, You need to step back a bit in regards to marrying again, I can sense the anger towards your ex wife's infidelity, and this will cause a stepback in you trusting another woman soon. I agree with Stella that you should employ an older nanny (to avoid any temptation with younger one)to care for your children. As a christian, you need to pray and ask God to reveal your new journey to you. I pray that God will heal you and show you the right steps to take. Stay blessed.
ReplyDeleteAnon B
Poster 2, na thing eye dey find wey im go see.
ReplyDeletePoster 1- I don't think divorce should be an option for a wayward wife. I am still experiencing wicked step mother wickedness. If you bring another woman into that home then you are in trouble. Those children will suffer physically and emotionally. The kind of wicked things step mothers do, it's only God that will reward them.they will turn you against your children,lies and lies.please for God sake bring ur wife to order.you can change her.I mean the mother of those children.talk it through.ask her what is pushing her out and taking her attention.it ccould be that you are not active in bed.maybe you only do the missionary style and every woman wants touches,romance,kisses, before the sex thingy. You mr accountant might be old school in your approach to her.we haven't heard her own side of the story so we can't judge her. Ask yourself what are you doing wrong? Stop looking for faults in her. We hope you are what you profess here. We hope you give her money? Even if she is self employed,women still wants money from their husbands. I know accountants are very stingy. Please you have to change and please bring your wife back.illuminate your love by trying new things. Have a civil conversation,you might have provoked her to what she is today. The solution to your problem us not a second wife. Am sure you too are not holy or pure.you yansh small girls too so forget about pointing accusing fingers. Mostly it's men of your type that displays worse behaviours. Whoever gave some people the idea that it's only a man that can cheat. Do not provoke a woman to anger. Mr accountant check yourself and deal with this issue maturely,i pray you find solace in God and think about your children and consider working things out for a change with their mother. Thanks
ReplyDeletesexy F
Please dont project your issues on this man. Do you know what it means to expose yourself to a cheating spouse? Do you know the kids are also in danger? Please, I m sorry your stepmum was evil but it was up to your dad to shield you and not expose you
DeleteWow!!! Correct advice!!! We are always advising women to manage and pray for wayward husbands, but this man's wife needs his prayers. He should talk to her and pray for her, rather than bringing in a woman that will destroy his home
DeleteLol@folding hands&legs like mermaid. @poster2 ur case firstly is btw State& Local govt,den secondly what exactly do u want?pls sit urself down&be truthful to urself&decide what befits u,besides don't forget ur happiness is wat shud matters most in all. Poster1 I feel so sorry for all d hurt&pains u ve gotten in return for giving out love,i wud pretend2 b a mermaid on ur mata,&read great advise frm others. I dunno wat more2say*sigh* May God see u tru.
ReplyDeleteEverybody telling poster 1 not to marry again what then happens when nature calls or lonely nights! He needs a lady in the same category with him. Either a divorcee, widower or a single mum. Take the case of Ibinabo for example o. Singles ladies full here o, I am one *covers face and runs away* N2, there's nothing wrong in marrying someone older than you but you are just too young to start that. Those boiz ain't loyal though but its always good to start with your mate. Watch him very at least you know what's good from bad. If he's the one you'll know if he's not still you would know.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have children, your konji takes a back seat. So because of konji, he should marry and bring in someone that will maltreat his kids. Abeg he has had a taste of marriage. The marriage brought forth kids and now the marriage has packed up. He must make a sacrifice to care for the kids so they do not suffer from the divorce or if he is lonely, he can give them to their mother. She might not be a bad mother.
DeletePoster 1, I just thought of something. I think you should remarry but with time because your children will one day get married and become their spouses priorities. You need companionship because you aint getting any younger. You will need company at some point so its best you start the process soon but gradually. Just take your time so you won't fall into the hands of a gold digger. God bless you, sir. You are a good man
ReplyDeleteBefore they chew me raw like kpomo, I am not giving excuse for the woman attitude but men too have their own for body. There is no justification for her action. But mr accountant if you consider your children and have grown up in the hands of step mother, you will understand what I am saying better. Even those ones that are church goers, they are the worst,they sit at the altar and collect positions in church. Please don't do what your thinking. I pity the kids.
ReplyDeleteThe most annoying thing about divorce saga is the kids at the receiving end
Sexy F
Poster 1, I just thought of something. I think you should remarry but with time because your children will one day get married and become their spouses priorities. You need companionship because you aint getting any younger. You will need company at some point so its best you start the process soon but gradually. Just take your time so you won't fall into the hands of a gold digger. God bless you, sir. You are a good man
ReplyDeleteN1, i love you already, why? because if it is true you are doing all this then you are among my world greatest dads and mums. You are a great man, no amount is too much to spend on your children. I will put myself in your place in this case. If i were you i won't think of marrying another wife, why? she will come and mess up your children's lives , she will cause confusion in your life. If i were you i will look for a matured nanny and get myself a widow or a divorcee that doesn't want to remarry also but with kids.( she too should be comfortable financially ) Some 1 you spend time and have fun with i am sure there are many. Please don't remarry. N2, marry your mate! Who do you even love? Una no dey talk of love?
ReplyDeleteThe best advice
DeletePOSTER 1. You talk too much and anyhow.. who asked you how much you pay for your kids sch fees... even with your millions or billions your wife still sleep around with men that not even up to your standard.... The moral lesson is for you to check yourself very well. may be you are too proud or feel money can buy love..
ReplyDeletePoster 2... Abeg nor disturb us with your long throat cus you nor dey send "Richard" card to the house from the goodies
Your blog name isn't any different dear!
DeleteI think the poster was communicating like the typical accountant he is and how they consider expenditures before any life altering decision..
Haba Sexymissy. You want the man being 41yrs old to hook up with ur friend of 50 yrs .Dere is God o
ReplyDeleteOga pls look for some 1 who is older, na this type of man me I de look for ooo lol, we wear same shoe na, ngwa make we waka together. Men don show me oba, I no no say I go hear this kind story from men oo, eyaaaa sorry sir na so me too hear am.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, please don't make the mistake of marrying a man way too old for you. I did same, I married a man 20 years older than me, we're still married after 10 years but I regret my decision so bad, I wish I knew better or was properly advised.......
ReplyDeleteAll this ones pass me
ReplyDeleteP1 u still need a woman, no matter what, but u just have to select carefully
ReplyDeleteAll this ones pass me
ReplyDeletePoster 2; 43 year old NEVER MARRIED, ABROAD husband! How many times will we warn girls on this blog to RUN FROM ABROAD HUSBANDS??? Except if you live abroad with him, don't let any stranger come home to pick you as a wife; YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO!!!
ReplyDeleteNo mind these long throat chics. These abroad men are dubious. He left the women there to come and find a mumu woman he can control and deceive. Let them be deceiving some of you with tales of oh you are homely.
DeleteI am 44, in your type of shoes. I know the pains and loneliness. Don't mind these prophetess of doom. There are wonderful,young, single, or divorced ladies out. That an apple got bad does not indicate the whole tree has bad apples.
ReplyDeleteGet closer to God, look well into the house of faith and other places to have another shot at marriage. For me I tell my stories to the ladies I ve met. No infidel is allowed. Once beaten, a million times shy!
So long you got a sister who would stay put on your bed without sharing her thighs with another, why wouldn't you get married again? NOW! It's well bro.
I am 44, in your type of shoes. I know the pains and loneliness. Don't mind these prophetess of doom. There are wonderful,young, single, or divorced ladies out. That an apple got bad does not indicate the whole tree has bad apples.
ReplyDeleteGet closer to God, look well into the house of faith and other places to have another shot at marriage. For me I tell my stories to the ladies I ve met. No infidel is allowed. Once beaten, a million times shy!
So long you got a sister who would stay put on your bed without sharing her thighs with another, why wouldn't you get married again? NOW! It's well bro.
Anonymous 14:25, abeg search for your horseband elsewhere, we know your type.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 16:45, so a man not doing it well is enuf excuse 4 a woman to cheat? Oga o
Poster 1, Pls,pls,pls, let those kids be matured before you remarry. E dey do like my mama no fit do like real mama. Stepmums are something else. Let them atleast finish secondary sch.
Poster 2, have you asked yourself why a 43 years old man is still single. Pls be careful else you send us another Chronicle.
Anonymous 14:25, abeg search for your horseband elsewhere, we know your type.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 16:45, so a man not doing it well is enuf excuse 4 a woman to cheat? Oga o
Poster 1, Pls,pls,pls, let those kids be matured before you remarry. E dey do like my mama no fit do like real mama. Stepmums are something else. Let them atleast finish secondary sch.
Poster 2, have you asked yourself why a 43 years old man is still single. Pls be careful else you send us another Chronicle.
Anonymous 14:25, abeg search for your horseband elsewhere, we know your type.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 16:45, so a man not doing it well is enuf excuse 4 a woman to cheat? Oga o
Poster 1, Pls,pls,pls, let those kids be matured before you remarry. E dey do like my mama no fit do like real mama. Stepmums are something else. Let them atleast finish secondary sch.
Poster 2, have you asked yourself why a 43 years old man is still single. Pls be careful else you send us another Chronicle.
All the gold diggers on this blog self. BBC where are you? Fish them out, miss Ess and col. Just because he mentioned 6-digits una all turn to better pikin. You all are greedy.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, pls don't go near women for now(especially the 1s on this blog), heart of women are bad. Pls take care of ur kids 1st and when they re matured, look for a woman with a small kid that can like a grandchild to you.
Poster 2, pls 4get abeg the 40 something old man and "his money". The young guy u can build a future with or you could even meet some1 better. But pls NO SEX. Keep yourself
Dear Stella, for poster 1 kindly link him to the lady that can have a baby! At least he won't be bothered about the children and I hope she's going to love them like hers! Seems like a perfect match to me and I hope she's got a job too and they are both Christians! Equation don balance.
ReplyDeleteI understand your pain my dear but honestly you need a woman in your life,I have been in your shoes but not in the same situation. Cheated upon,maltreated and then left with nothing but my only bundle of joy.non understands that divorcees are nt actually the cause of their status but rather circumstances made it so.There atimes when loneliness and depression will know you by name ,but you wouldn't see anyone to comfort you. There was a time I gave up on searching for someone but rather prefer to sit down and take care of my daughter till old age,but my mum will always remind me that kids will grow up and become a visitor in their parents home someday and the only person which will always be around is your partner which you will grow old with. A nanny cannot teach the kids the necessary things they ought to know about life,she only does her job and leaves, even if they are in boarding house atleast after school they will still come home and having no one to direct them isn't a good idea cus as an accountant you cnt have 100percent of time for them.pray about it and ask God to direct you to the right path.
ReplyDeleteMadamf4 January 2015 at 18:09
ReplyDeleteHmmmmn it is well. I remember reading the story of the woman who is pregnant after 11 years by trucare fertility, I couldnt believe it. I was actually choosin and shortlisted but couldn't afford the price of 600k which was a discounted payment to celebrate 20 years or so. I Ve actually done IVF before in 2012 but I finished paying the borrowed money in 2014, it's been 6 years now, anybody knows an organization or medical body that can help me out? I also have fibroid which is not large enough for surgery. God please send my helper, AMEN
No 1, did you read the story Stella left down there about the blackmail done by a WIFE ? na almost the same o !
ReplyDeleteGet a relation to help you .Women wahala get many colours because i'm also a woman I know what I can do when that child is not mine, that's I can't give 100% of what the biological mom will do , and the last one is still very young, Pls get a relation & pay the person monthly for proper care . If is sex you need which is normal, I beg get sex toy & be free from cheating or STD fear !
Women can blackmail you emotionally. Remember, once bitten, twice shy !
No 2, Are you very sure your school boyfriend will still want you when he makes it ?
How long are you willing to wait ?
What time do you have in mind to retire from childbirth and making money ?
When you agreed to date the older guy, what did you have in mind ?
What are you afraid of ?
Nnenna got no advice to give but help mount you where you will see everything & make your wish because Stella & bvs are not gonna live or marry him 'them'with you, just as we're not dating them with you to know who to go with . Do I ask you again sweetie, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT IN LIFE ?
DO YOU SEE THAT IN 'THEM ' ?
On a lighter note, pls be fast with your decision & set one free for another single sister out there to settle down and start building her family with your reject biko jari .
Goodluck dear and pray over everything . I wish you the best .
The man did not ask you to introduce or recommend someone) advise him all this despiarado :)::::easy hmm:: Sir poster you can re marry a woman that is a divorce or widow with kids and not ready to birth again with a good and strong back up that you need little or no help aside the home front bills, or your kids remains in boarding Schools or your employ a mature Nanny.
ReplyDelete#1, Please don't marry now. Direct all your energy to bring up your children. Get a housekeeper to be coming in weekly to do the cleaning and cooking. Your 9 year old will soon enter JJS 1, be patient, until he gets into boarding school with his siblings. Because any wife you marry, will put herself and her own children first! #bitter truth!#
ReplyDeleteBest of luck.
#2, Please forget the abroad guy o jare! Complete your education first!. 43? And no wifey or babymama abroad? Hmm...
Best of luck.
Nitty.
www.thenitty-gritty.com
For poster one, I advice u take care of your children until they are abit grown then ask them hw they will feel to have another woman as a mother, but I will advice that you get married to a widow who already have children and you both should take care of your children together, since ur wife is unfaithful to u.
ReplyDeleteP1, sorry about your wife o. I don't think you should make finding a wife a priority for now. Your children need you now more than ever. Focus on them. When they're stable, feel free to date. Not for the sole purpose of marrying but simply to put yourself put there. I'm 27 and I'm a single mom. I left my husband 2 years ago. Initially, I tried searching for a husband cos I wanted my son to have a male role model but I quickly realized that my son needs me more than he needs anyone else. If a husband comes, I'll be happy. But I'm not out hunting for the sole purpose of finding a dad for my son. Just like my son already has a dad, your kids already have a mom. Trying to find someone to replace her won't be good for them. Just go with the flow and let life happen.
ReplyDeleteTo the man.
ReplyDeleteIs reconciliation btw you n wifey totally absolutely utterly impossible? Else I'd say, please forgive her and take her back if she is willing.
Are u a hundred percent sure she is sleeping around or have you relied on rumors only.
If you do decide to move on, please be very careful and take your time in choosing a second wife, coz the truth is most Nigerian women who'd marry a divorcee or widower are most times motivated by self-interest.
People are saying marry a woman in her thirties ans so on. It doesn't matter what age she is. what matters is that she is a woman of good character. I'm speaking from experience. My dad married a woman in her late thirties with 3 children from her previous marriage after my mum passed. The experience we had with her and her children is material for a long chronicle. Besides, a woman in her thirties is still fertile. If she gets pregnant, can you bear the financial implications since you have 3 kids already who haven't even gone to college. Hmmmmm, there are so many things you have to consider o.
However, I'm with those who say get a nanny for them for now, while you take your time with the women. However you choose to conduct your self around them is between you, your conscience and your God. Goodluck
I tink he shd forgive his wife his no woman wud love ur kids like their mum or u give d kids bck to her n rent a place for them while u remarry
DeletePoster 2: Basira if this is u,as u intend to destroy my marriage may u never know peace in ur entire life,u know very well that he's married wth kids u still kp calling n sending him pics.U don see abroad husband abi? OLE
ReplyDeleteJust wait until I report u to d pple that will deal wth u, I hav ur details. U re making me sad everyday u will not hav rest of mind when u settle down.olosi
He came to Nig to sweet talk u abi?ok
@poster 1 ...I know a guy that married his wife even though he gad 3 mature children all in secondary school then, although she had a child from previous marriage and they have another child together n they have been married for 23 years...she is very supportive esp financially ...u need a mature n god fearing woman...good luck.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 really ur main concern should be studies not man....geez children of now A days smh.....
Poster 1, I have a friend who might be interested, she's a single mother of 2. But she lives in the UK, let me know how you feel about long distant relationships. She's been planning of relocating back to Nigeria for a while now.
ReplyDelete#2: Why is the 43 yr old so desperate for marriage? Why is he at 43 not already married? Nothing comes easy in life, do not feel youa re just going to walk in and life will be bliss. I cannot tell you who to marry, that is a choice only you can make. I can tell you though, do not be blind, open your eyes and ears wide and remember that nothing is ever as it seems. Seek wisdom while it can still be found.
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteI won't support or judge your wife for sleeping around because I don't know what really transpired between you two.If you must settle down,go for a matured single mother of one(in her 30s).By the way,there are lovely single mothers on SDKB who would love to marry you,beg stella to tell interested single mothers who are looking for a guy like you to apply ASAP.Am serious about this one oh.
Poster 2
@Bootylisious diva just mentioned one of my favorite quotes "its better to be an old man's princess than being a young boy's slave".At 24,you are old enough to get married but leave Azonto school boys alone oh,they are too dramatic and they don't know what they really want!I love dating matured men(intelligent ones oh) because I learn a lot from them. Meanwhile find out why this older guy isn't yet married at his age.*snoop if you can*
You people telling him not to get married are so funny. Jeez is he supposed to be single forever . he is a man he needs a woman that will take care of his needs. Is he supposed to be fornicating forever. Please there are good women out there that u can marry. Take your time and u will find. A time will come when your daughters may need guidance as a man how do u explain to your daughter when she starts seeking her period. ...I am married to a widower with 4 kids. We have been married for 10 years and we have 3 kids. I love my step children like my own. Nobody will ever suspect that they are not mine. I am their friend. Their mother and their confidant. I treat all our kids equally. I scold all of them and I pet all of them. When we got married the 1at child was 6. I bonded with all my kids. Sometimes my husband says he gets jealous because the kids love me more than him. ...life is great for us. So please shine your eyes and you will find a good woman. My husband never gets tired of singing my praise everyday. He calls me his sunshine because I light up his life.
ReplyDeleteOur bros needs a companion cos body no b fire wood...meanwhile b carefull sha cos both babes n women r gold diggers ...n wen things begins to happen it's d kids dat gets affected...meanwhile telling us abt d sch fees amt u pay wasn't necessary cos now longer throat people go begin dey put eye dey form born again. ..
ReplyDeleteAs for my age mate wanting to marry abroad husband u try ...better begin prepare shiloh sacrifice seed cos God has saved u for allowing stella paste ur story...abroad husbands are bad left alone d one double ur age...wat has he been doin wen his mates were getting married. ..guess he was busy fighting to get green card...n staying wt a white woman ...respect urself n face ur studies husband will com in due tim.
Poster 1; Let the woman be, she doesn't deserve you pls. The Bible supports you leaving her and marrying another woman...looks for another woman to marry and make you tell her ur current status and about the kids too before preasing the button.
ReplyDeletePoster 2; Small gal that man pass you, pls calm down and get a man of ur age. Pls choose wisely this is once in a lifetime event. Look before toy leap. Marry sometimes ain't a bed of roses
@Poster 1..Have u watched this film by Rita Dominic THE MEETING?....When your children grow up and leave the nest, u will realize time has indeed gone by and you may have missed the opportunity to meet someone nice. I believe the best thing that happened out of your marriage to your ex are your kids...but we were made to have companions...so after all this talk, I have a friend u might like ( Stella, abeg consider my post ooo)...she is single, never married, works in children's church in one of the Redeemed Church parishes...if u r interested, pls mail me at aina1481@yahoo.com with subject heading TRUE DAD....
ReplyDelete#1 Even the so called born again sisters, they can pretend for Africa. If you can get a single mum or someone that doesn't want kids, better, wish u luck.
ReplyDelete#You wan go obodo oyibo. Abeg leave your boyfriend and face ya studies. Your boyfriend no go marry u. You wan him to start telling u that u are getting old, bla bla bla that he wants someone younger?
poster 1 I feel your pain! pls get a nanny.Goin for anoda woman now in dis our country and its economy wil leave u frustrtated o.most of dem are gold diggers I am being honest wit u but take your time u wil stil see a good woman leta.A widow with 1 or 2 kids would b ok.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.Na long troat go kill you.You are about to cut d happiness and fun you wil have in life short by marryin 43 yr old man....haba u get sense at all.And stop datin your age mates date men few yrs older than you they wil help u to learn an be ahead.
Poster 1 please focus on raising your kids..sharp babes may want to cash in on 'opportunity' bikokwa
ReplyDeleteposter 2 abeg leave your age mate alone...hes still immature
ReplyDelete