Why the heck is marriage so complicated? Why do some people take the plunge at all when they cannot stay on the dotted lines they signed? I HAVE MIGRAINE FROM ALL THESE SOB STORIES ALREADY!
...And you,how dare you Judge someone because they are a product of a broken marriage?How dare you?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
CHILDREN FROM BROKEN HOMES NEVER FIND LOVE?
Hello Stella am super excited to be part of your great family, it's been fun and I learn everyday from your blog. May God bless your good heart. Please I need advice from you and my fellow bvs.
Is coming from a broken home a problem/Curse?
Each time I am in a relationship and I am asked I notice the guys always change and the relationship ends.i am really getting worried because I will be 27 this year and I can't seem to keep a relationship .
I am decent and well composed so I can't understand why this happens and my current boyfriend is acting funny, he hardly calls and when I do he acts all cranky ,he is never happy to talk to me and he wasn't like this. I have tried talking to him but each time he is not responding, is it my fault that am from a broken home? If this is what it does to the kids I would do everything to get it right.
*sad sigh*
Perhaps you are paranoid?perhaps it is something else?please get that off your mind and try to discuss this before you go into any relationship since you think this is the problem...dont worry you will be fine if you remove yourself from this mindset,no one has a right to judge where anyone is coming from or judge anyone's past.
selah.
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
MARRIED BUT LIVING SINGLE - SHOULD I LEAVE OR STAY?
Stella,
I have been married since 2011 with 2 kids and since I got married i have not been happy,I will be 29 in May but i look much older than that becos of the stress I go through everyday.. I work as a security woman here in Lagos with peanut as a salary.
I have been married since 2011 with 2 kids and since I got married i have not been happy,I will be 29 in May but i look much older than that becos of the stress I go through everyday.. I work as a security woman here in Lagos with peanut as a salary.
I had my 2kids while working as a security Lady, my husband doesn't do anything, he lies down from morning till night,it hurts so because if I could work with my pregnancies why cant he work?. Sometimes when I return from work in the evening I will see him sleeping,its so painful, he doesn't want to work because there is no work and he doesn't want to start a job that is less than 50k as a salary,(imagine that kind talk).
if he cannot work now that he is young is it when he is old that he will work?
Ever since I married him everything the kids and I wear I buy,he doesn't care if we are naked or not.He even collects 20k from my salary if I complain he will insult me. I don't even pay my tithe ,he just he collects my money,he just stopped collecting it recently becos I complained to his sister.
He doesn't work and he still doesn't help out with house chores. the only time he behaves nice to me is only when he wants to have sex. My husband has never been nice,loving and Sweet to me.it all started in 2012 when I was pregnant with my first baby,he changed after I told him that I was pregnant, to give me antenatal money is a problem, he expects me to use my money,even if he wants give he give me half, even when I tell him that Dr asked us to be eating enough fruits he will tell me to collect the money for the fruits from the Dr.
I was always having waist pain Becos I didn't know it was normal if I complain he would tell me to stop disturbing him becos he is not a Dr. I ve asked him several times if I ve done anything to offend him and he says no.
Anytime he gives me money or buy anything in the house he whole world will know about it. Everything I used in hospital for my kids I bought them becos he doesn't care about that, I can't even save any kobo. I have told him many times that I want to learn how to make hair but he said no that I should learn how to sew clothes,wen I decided dat I will learn dat one he said no again dat I should learn catering,he wants to live my life for me.
My family doesn't like him Becos of the way he treats me,they ve asked me to come back but I said no becos I wanted to work on it but its not just working out,he doesn't know how to pet a woman ,he doesn't know when am angry or not,he insults me at will.
Last year June I met someone in my office, we are very close friends but he just asked me to marry him though I didn't give him any answer becos i am still married, I would have accepted it but I couldnt ,I like him very much though.
I Am not happy in my marriage and I feel like leaving but I don't know what to do becos of my kids. Please Bvs I beg you to advice me on what to do becos i am confused. There are still things to write but I just can't write again Becos e go full dis place. Thank you very much sweets. Thanks Stella,God bless you.
OMG!...I am sorry if i was to advise you from what i have read here,i would say you are married to yourself,heck I would even ask you to leave the house for a while with your kids to give him time alone to think about all this but i do not want to advise you to leave your matrimonial home for any reason whatsoever.THE FINAL DECISION TO LEAVE OR STAY LIES WITH YOU DARLING.
This is a tough one.
Make I just siddon read comments
ReplyDeleteI dey use one hand type ....I dey eat afang soup with garri
@Galore
As bad as marriages look this days, I am still going to marry oh and when I do it will be heaven on earth.I refuse to be scared.
DeleteCha,Galore,afang with correct dry fish n mfi. Oh Abasi mbok
DeleteGod have mercy on both posters give them der heart desires.any1 in need of a panasonic split AC to buy?almost brand new used for just 4mths.lagos AjaH.
DeleteBlessed girl I agree with you ooo.. I refuse to be scared
DeleteIrene B and Galore wuna head dey there! Afang soup n Mfi making sense since 19BC
DeleteHello poster 1, it's a big lie that children from broken homes never find love - I know a handful of prople from broken homes who are happily married - some of them are even happier than people from 'stable' homes. It's probably in your head, and I suggest that you sit down and analyse why your relationships havent been working.
DeleteAwwww poster 2 - your story really touched my heart ooooo. I hate men who cannot get their lazy posterior off the couch. Who does he think he is to say that he cannot work for a salary under 50k. I do not advise leaving your matrimonial home but I think you need to talk to him, and if he takes no action, consider spending some time away from him - that will probably make him sit up.
Forget that man in your office for now and focus on resolving this issue first. The good Lord is your strength, Amen!
@Poster 2....i m so sorry for all you are going through.I ll advise that you leave him for sometime so that he can sit up,but never jump into another relationship.
DeleteGive your hubby a 2nd chance.I m sure if he gets a job,the pressure on you will reduce.You can try and fix him up in your place of work or probably get him a job similar to yours.You should also report him to a relative he respects.All the best!
P1- Go for mature minded individuals. The Lord will be with you
DeleteP2- You married a selfish soul. Its time to chicken out. The Lord is your strength.
Poster one; abeg I take God beg u wipe that mind set off fast, I am from a broken home and am happily married to the best man ever, I couldn't have asked for a better person. So darling nobody can ever change God's will in ur life just pray to God to fulfil his will in ur life and u will be amazed.
DeleteHello poster 1, am sorry about what you are going through. I must say it's not always like that.
DeleteI am from a broken home too, from the moment I got into Uni, I started having toasters, serious ones, some wanted to marry me when we left school, but kept them at bay, so I can focus on my academics. Am done with school, some of them continued asking me to marry them, I had enough match-makings from people, I started shying away from it sef. I got into 2 relationships, I told them am from a broken home but they didn't mind. Went to see my parents, the first rship ended because we are not from the same place as my parents wanted, the 2nd one I called it off coz I snooped and saw too many negatives. I still had suitors after these, they didn't mind my family state, I Just didn't make up my mind with these men, I said no to many men, at a time I started feeling guilty and prayed they forgave me, coz they seem to fall in love deeply.
Maybe I am lucky because God gave me beauty and brains, I am also well behaved (I tink this is the virture the suitors saw in me) am also a God lover, very focused in life, you need to hear my dreams and visions.
All these happened from year 18-25, I got engaged at 25, the man didn't care about my family. He didn't change his ways towards me, he hugged me and felt pity for me. He was amazed and pleased that I turned out to be a spectacular lady, notwithstanding my background. He said it never showed from my behaviour that anything was wrong with my upbringing. Then I told him that during the whole family issues, there was still discipline in the house! He promised to be a good husband to me. Am happy God blessed me with a good man. My wedding is on the way.
Please, do not be scared. Make sure you are in right standing with God. Be cheerful and positive. Chase your dreams. Please don't feel pity for your self, it's not your fault. Always be confident, I have never felt pity for myself bcoz of my background. I look forward to the day I will look back and tell my story to change people's perception about kids from broken homes. The amazing thing Is that all of us (my siblings) are doing well, we are all cool-headed. I know it was the Grace of God that helped us all. As kids, we were fully engaged in church and diff programs. Plus we never missed school. These foundations helped a lot.
Please don't listen to the norm, that kids from broken home bla bla bla......stand out and be different. Aspire to make a good home and be a wonderful wife. Keep praying. It's all in God's hands. Make sure your mindset is right, because it is "first within, then without".
And keep praying
Amazing. Poster 1, you seem to be the problem because you have wrapped around yourself too deeply the spirit of "I'm not qualified because...."... which you probably exhibit subconsciously and hence, it affects your relationships. The work starts with YOU, change your mindset darling, rid yourself of self pity and you'll see beyond the defaulted background that you came from. You are what you think or say that you are...so think positively.
DeletePoster 2 I laughed when you said that your hubby asked you to collect money for fruits from your doctor. Jeeezzz he's such a mess. Frankly speaking he should be ashamed of himself ....instead of misplacing his aggression on u, he should hustle like every other man to provide your needs, Haba. .
It is the ego in some men, who when they suffer financial limitation would never admit that it is their fault and not anyone else's. Face your kids and let him continue to sleep his destiny away. Take a breather and do not let him turn u into an emotional wreck. All the best
P2... you're married 2 yourself,am speechless,I will advice u follow stella's advice P1... just be strong,God will give u a man dat will luv n cherish you 4 who u are. It won't matter 2 him if you are from a broken home or not.
ReplyDeleteUgly @Porsche Quinn
Delete@lest we can see her picx. show us ur own or forever remain anonymous. can u even creat a fly?
Delete@poster1 :love will surely find u,just relax.
Delete@poster2: I don't know what to tell you serious n please don't try to conceive again
Tnks Anon 14:50 for taking your time 2 check me out 2 know how ugly i am. I am sooo grateful. Oya chop kiss
DeleteChocolatti abeg chop kiss(Muaahhh). Life is too difficult 4 blind people. Smh
DeleteDon't mind it. I'm using it because I don't know if it's a human being or not. Calling people ugly for no reason and what if there is a reason.?
DeleteHelp me ask it ooooo!
DeletePorsche Quinn" lwkmd, life is really difficult for the blind, this person no be eyes just blind, his or her mind is blind as well. See as you fine. Forgive them...lol
DeletePoster 2" plenty hugs, kisses for you. Well done like stella said, give him a break, go see your folks, when you're returning please do give yourself a treat, spa, hair, nails and make yourself feel good. You deserve nothing less, we love you ooo
Lol @ help me ask it... porshe quinn ur hilarious.
DeletePoster 2.. pls run for you dear life. Your husband is a lazy man
-1: its no curse dear, I understand u wella but trust me any dude who luvs u for who you're wud stay.. Dey shud shift abeg
DeleteP-2: I feel for u dear, try talking to ur hubby,if he's adamant leave for a yle but pls leave d man n his proposal for now so u don't complicate things.
Dt idiot that dropped dt comment i'm sure ur face is like God forbid... let's c ur own pic. abi no be ur mate just return fron miss universe contest? Y u no go? Ewu anonymous.... mtcheeeew
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteIt's well with u love. I think u should renew ur mind set.
Poster 2
Na wa oh. U no get husband now, na sperm donor u get. Pls leave and go back home. But what ever u do, do not get into another relationship so soon. Try and improve yourself 1st cos u can't be a security guard for ever.
P1 it's in ya head! Ain't nobody care about that. Check yourself, must be some other reason why ur men tune off
Deleteposter one.i dnt tink broken home is d reason forur brkups. u shld not let naysayers bring u dwn. any man dt wld leave, wld leave.
DeleteWhat are u up to? BORED? Need a gud laugh?
If you need a pick me up, click this link
LIFE ENCOUNTERS
poster 1 sometimes when we have issues with our character we do not know bt its outsiders that tell us.Do not ask aquestions to anyone just look at urself and ask if the divorce of ur parents is affecting the way u perceive life,ur happiness aint tied to any dude ur man will come.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 ,bfor 2011 did u see these traits and use love to wipe it off?Right nw the sanest thing to do is go that thing aint a marriage,do not pity urself as to what ppl will say.The colleague might av been d hubby God destined for u bt u need time to find out.If u leave watch hubbys attitude afterwards(some men will shed crocodile tears )and act part 2 afterwards.Just let God lead,u need not be distressed.
Exactly , maybe ur colleague is your God given husband but d t run to him yet oo, that ur hubby is an idiot for lying down nd waiting for u to provide for d family( I hate lazy men like crazy) no wonder your family dnt like him, poster1, it might not be because u are from a broken home, u might be d one seeing it from that angle, evaluate urself nd see where u need to improve urself or maybe u have not met d right person, lastly , dnt b too emotional about ur parents breakup, take care of ur self emotionally, psychologically nd physically, then guys would respect you
DeleteI will drop by later to comment right now I'm bizy with the preview of miss univex
ReplyDeletePoster 1, dont let anybody make u feel less cuz u r from a broken home.. its no fault of yours so continue living n pray that someone who would support n stand by u comes ur way
ReplyDeletePoster 2, ur matter pass me... and u say u are married to this man??? Start saving uup from ur salary n when u have enough, establish yourself in a business and face ur children... #zipup already until ur husband can man up and take responsibility for u and the children
Wow
ReplyDeleteToo weak to type anything else
Sob stories are too much biko
As in eh @ Abadabeedee
DeleteI jus tire.
All the best to the 2 posters.
poster 1.you dont have a problem ,stop creating one.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 .you are married to yourself,abeg divorce his ass.,lazy ass man .
I will be back to read d story and comments. ....working mode....
ReplyDeleteP1..looks like u love with ur eyes wide shut!
ReplyDeleteUse one leg enter relationship
Test d waters
B4 deciding to enter with 2 legs
So that If u fall,
U wont break heart,leg n arm.
P2..u use belly trap d guy?
Lol,forgive me.
I won't tell u to leave ur marriage,
Easier said than done,
Anytime u receive ur salary,
Don't give him,
Hide it,it's urs
If he drags with u,
Use pestle break him head
Hahahahahaa
Don't do it o!
Lol @break in head...but her legal sperm donor deserves it sha.
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: @ narrative 1, so many girls are from broken homes nd today they are happily married, pls that is not the problem nd it will never be. Cool down nd be happy for God has a reason for everything. One day u will find love again. @2, honestly I am really disappointed at ur man, My God! What kind of man is that? Is dat he has completely given up on life or wat? Chai! This is really serious nd annoying. I don't know if u didn't notice any sign or symptoms bfore u plunged in. Stay in that house but bear in mind that u are the man of the house nd therefore concentrate on training ur kids. God will see u tru.
ReplyDeletePoster1, is creating problems where there is none, most of my friends who are married are from a broken home , so that's not a case. You are too emotional nd that's y men are using u
DeleteExactly poster 1:have a positive outlook towards marriage and all, maybe it happens this way because you are/were always skeptical or you sound negative whenever issues of marriage comeup, hence they concieve a notion that you may not be able to make it work! Chin up dearie, the man who will love you regardless will come!!
DeletePoster 2:I'll pray for you
You are a strong woman, maybe you need to give your husband time away from your home; so you can think straight and put things into perspective. .
Since your family members are even ready to accomodate you
All the best!
Complicated chronicles... waiting for comments.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, most people have this really awful traditional way of thinking and it really hurts my head. That's why my mother has been in a marriage for 23 years with a totally useless man.
Narrative 2.
Better find your way because it will only get worse. You married an irresponsible man and that's the price you are paying. He won't change, and you don't need to jump into another marriage so soon. Take time, work, save, invest, build your children's future. You have two kids already, you don't need more.
Very Tough.Reading this,i think I shouldn't complain about anything in my marriage again.
ReplyDeleteposter1 and 2,you girls need to pray and seek Gods counsel.we Christain at times make our own decisions and table it before God.it is wrong, don't tell God want u want,ask him to give u wat u need..
ReplyDeleteDear story 1: Im from a broken home but that doesn't define my life it made me more independent talk to this guys maybe you are having a pity party for yourself snap out of it and communicate with this guys
ReplyDeleteStory 2: so sorry you have to go through this, my advice is you gotta do what makes you and your kids happy! Sorry because your kids will be the one to suffer, I'm from a home where my mum did almost everything for us and suffered waiting for my dad to step it up! For the sake of your kids get out and take a break maybe if your not there he will come to his senses! And if he doesn't then you gotta decide what you have to do goodlick
Poster one..
ReplyDeleteSee nne,the one that will stay,will...
Relationship matters are really dicey!
There are exceptions to a rule...
Move is beautiful and that man that will love. You even with your flaws is out there... He will not even waste precious time dilly-dallying.....am telling you this because I know it is possible to meet THE MAN! Cheer up!
Second poster
Your horseband does not have conscience...it is dead...and when you have such a person in your life...it is deadly.. Please do anything to make your self happy...uwa wu ofu mbia..
I have tried to see some thing positive in your story,but I cannot find it.....
Please my head is aching from this story!! I know how a pregnant woman should be pampered! So I feel for you sweet.
Did u trap him with pregnancy?
Delete*women*
DeletePoster 2 you have tried and endured oooo.can't imagine what it feels like taking 20k from your salary every month ontop how much?
ReplyDeleteAt this stage,if you wanna leave,I won't blame you if all you said is the truth.You are going through so much emotional pains. Person wey no get money sef dey do yanga hian
Poster 1 sorry oooo maybe its your perception though....How many relationships have failed?If its just 2 then its not enough to conclude. Above all, still pray against it!!!!Cheers
Oh & Narr. 2, as a married woman, don't just keep fucking your husband raw and come and announce you are pregnant. You have to plan these things together. Maybe he wasn't ready for children. If you gauge the situation and see that the time is not right, go and buy yourself birth control pills.
ReplyDeleteIf ur husband hasn't cheated on u or beats u , u must stay with him and keep praying for ur marriage to work. God hates divorce. U can't just marry and decide to walk out of it bcos things aren't rosy.didn't u see he was jobless before u married him? If u live bcos of anytin other than the two reasons above, ure regarded as an adulteress. Marriage is serious y'all. Look before u leap. AmA Williams
ReplyDeletePoster1 you have been meeting the wrong guys,
ReplyDeleteThere re lot of people from broken homes and they re happily married today and doing fine.. So that can't be the reason!
Poster2 madam didn't you know your 'horseband' was like that before you married him? Amidst these problems you re still talking about another man, forget about any man for now and concentrate on your kids ignore your husband because he's not useful.
Poster2,was he like that when you guys were dating?If yes then i will say you sees the hand writing on the wall but chose to ignore it
ReplyDeleteMurder d English itss allowed
DeleteHmmmmmmm!
ReplyDelete*thinking*
P1 : mind set.
ReplyDeletewhy are you shooting yourself on the leg? Has any body ever told you point blankly that " hey, I am fed up, no more you in my life because you are from a broken home" has there? Every thing boils down to your mind set. Babe listen, I Solomon, am from a broken home. The heat of my parents battering themselves in the nights keeps me up through out the night. They broke up when I was 12. My dad just woke up by 5 am, packed his clothes and left. Till today, I have not set my eyes on him. Sweet listen, I am a very successful man today with the most beautiful wife and a son. Friendship with my wife will be written in marbles and stored in the moon. You may want to ask, "didn't you face challenges??" loads of them. But you know what?? I used my mind set with my mouth to confess my self into a blazing sun. You can do same. Love you
U won't feel it much in that aspect cos u r a guy. U do the chasing & proposal.
DeleteBlog addict , it dsnt matter if he is a guy , lots of ppl are from a broken home nd they are married, d thing is dnt let that define who u are or expect pity from men because u are from a broken home , one has to be strong nd bliv in one self
DeleteCHAI....both stories heart-breaking.
ReplyDeleteDont know wot to say. ...chai
Here are warm hugs for u two darlings..
Too many sob stories.
DeletePoster1/2 may God meet u guys at d point of ur needs.
Stella, the thing is most people believe that a man or woman from a broken home won't value marriage. Unfortunately, it is 50% true. I have a cousin who married a woman from a broken home. He had an argument with his wife one day and she called her mum. The mum then called my cousin and told him to always remember her daughter's room is still vacant in her house and she (the daughter) is always welcome back home anytime any day. Can you imagine such a statement? It's just fear that's all. But then, these folks are also human and shouldn't be made to pay for their parents mistakes.
ReplyDeleteSuch an in law is the most dreaded. I can't for the life of me understand why some MIL think that by threatening their daughter's hubby sanity would be restored in their home. What she said is actually the platform upon which her daughter's marriage will collapse. SMH
DeletePoster 1: unfortunately kids sometimes pay for their parents' mistakes. That's why intending couples should seek God's face b4 and throughout the marriage. Divorce affects children one way or the other.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing that you have decided to do your best to get things right.
It's not your fault. Broken families tend to carry a stigma and unfortunately that's the way our society is. Also depending on the cause of the break-up, the same thing can repeat itself in the life of the kids.
Don't worry, someone who will accept you as you are will come your way. Just be sure to be upfront about your situation b4 things get serious.
Stella, the thing is most people believe that a man or woman from a broken home won't value marriage. Unfortunately, it is 50% true. I have a cousin who married a woman from a broken home. He had an argument with his wife one day and she called her mum. The mum then called my cousin and told him to always remember her daughter's room is still vacant in her house and she (the daughter) is always welcome back home anytime any day. Can you imagine such a statement? It's just fear that's all. But then, these folks are also human and shouldn't be made to pay for their parents mistakes.
ReplyDeleteLol @ collect d money for d fruits from d dr...dat guy must be d new definition of irresponsibility
ReplyDelete#1,sorry about ur sitution.dat ur parents' marriage didn't work isn't ur fault...but I must tell u,personally I'l not marry someone whose parents are not together except one of them is dead..dats my opinion
Lmao! As I see that line ehn..I weak..
Delete"Collect the fruit money from your doctor"
Chaiiiiiiii
I actually laughed at that line, the hubby no get shame, dog don lick him eye , it baffles me how a man would sit at home n wNt look for a job, so how is he a man? Just by impregnating a lady? The kain word wey I go tell that man hennn, himself go know how far
DeleteToo bad,am about to lose a very dear friend cos of dis comment...I apologise sweetie (u know urself)...u r a very good person n I cherish our friendship
DeleteMr bitchpls, I'm from a somewhat broken home...but it doesn't bother or make me sad one bit. it only means I have seen at happens when u make some choices in life and I will definitely put what I have learnt into good use and make d best choices. in fact,I already am...my frnds look at me and say I'm stronger and smarter... DAT is true cos hardships make u stronger now weaker if u handle dem well... u on d other hand constantly talk abt sex,getting laid,cheating on d girl desperate enof to date u,defiling underage girls... frankly,I have never seen u make any contribution that will indicate that u made an attempt to use ur brain. you were raised in a loving home abi,yet u are as shallow as they get. so I wonder one day, a guy like u will open his mouth and say he can't marry a girl like me.... he he he he he he he he he he he he... I would never touch u wt a foot long pole. why don't you sit down and let d real men talk and learn some sense. when I look at u,I weep for our generation. Ladies,raise your sons right,we need to raise the standards and stop letting the sexist, masochistic, chauvinistic imbeciles loose in the society... This is #teamstrongwomen# and I'll be watching out for u from now
DeleteAnon 21:24 I salute your courage dear.
DeleteBitchplis, I must say that u just made the most flippant comment yet, even as I agree that u are entitled ur views. This is a sensitive topic, and u perhaps have just destroyed someone's morale after reading ur comment here. I hope for ur sake that u meant for this to be humorous.
Anon 21.24, my response to you just disappeared before I hit publish. Anyways, to cut a long story short, you hit the nail on the head. This is one of the most unreasonable ways of thinking I've ever come across... And yet he is entitled to his own opinion. Mothers indeed have a lot of work to do in order to ensure that children grow up with the right mindset.
Delete@ Sisi Eko, he was not joking, he's said something similar before.
Poster 1: don't be discouraged, just be positive and the right person will come along. It is well with you.
alot of marriage woes stories everyday.. one party comes to stella and cries wolf, i believe it takes 2 to destroy. some of the women who come here to complain sometimes destroyed their marriage with their own hands.... 2wrongs can never make a right, how did you treat your husband? what did you do to make him leave?. so many ladies are responsible for the woes in their relationships.
ReplyDelete#my2cent.... sha what do i know. am not married.
I blame d woman partially cod one thing I look forward to in a man bfor I got married, is d drive nd desire to succeed, there was no way I would end up with a lazy man cos I will know if u r lazy or ambitious during courtship , wait a minute! How can a man feel comfortable sitting in d house while a woman works? Chai
DeleteWhatever she may have done is not enough for the man to act so irresponsible!
DeleteImagine a man that is not even willing tk work, if the salary is not above 50k?
Hian!
Atall at all na im bad pass oooh
@ narrative 2, the decision to stay in or leave your marriage is yours to make, weigh the pros and cons before making that decision. And please stay away from the guy demanding marriage from you. That should not be your next line of action. sorting out your current marital issues and how to take care of yourself and kids should be your priority for now.
ReplyDeletePOSTER1. Even people from broken homes find love and they last too because they already have experience of what its like to live in broken homes. First remove such idea you have on that, my dear his words tells us the thought he has of us are of good and not of evil to bring us to our expected end. So you see you are destined to find love and you will. Love yourself more, read ur bible and trust in God now more. He will surely bless you with ur le boo. I'm not married yet but I know this year is my year and he will surprise me.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2. Sorry to ask but before you married him was he jobless or what cos am confused. Even if you didn't sleep ova his place you must have known if he was working or not or if he had a future plan or not before you getting married to him. Well if you leave him how about ur children how will they understand. I feel you should take ur children away for a while mayb a week or so and if he begs give him conditions that if he doesn't keep you will leave for good. Make him know u are serious now more than ever. Sorry oh I know its not easy but God will see you through.
POSTER1. Even people from broken homes find love and they last too because they already have experience of what its like to live in broken homes. First remove such idea you have on that, my dear his words tells us the thought he has of us are of good and not of evil to bring us to our expected end. So you see you are destined to find love and you will. Love yourself more, read ur bible and trust in God now more. He will surely bless you with ur le boo. I'm not married yet but I know this year is my year and he will surprise me.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2. Sorry to ask but before you married him was he jobless or what cos am confused. Even if you didn't sleep ova his place you must have known if he was working or not or if he had a future plan or not before you getting married to him. Well if you leave him how about ur children how will they understand. I feel you should take ur children away for a while mayb a week or so and if he begs give him conditions that if he doesn't keep you will leave for good. Make him know u are serious now more than ever. Sorry oh I know its not easy but God will see you through.
Poster 1
ReplyDeletePls don't let any guy to mistreat you because you come from a broken home.You are just 27 and you already seem desperate to have a serious relationship and settle down.pls focus on your job and build your confidence,get busy!
Guys smell desperation from afar no matter how ladies try to hide it,am sure your(ex) boyfriends feel choked by your desperation to settle down and they use your family background as an excuse to flee.All relationships must not last or end in marriage.Move on with your life.pls take care of yourself and be careful how and who you tell about your family.Cheers.
Poster 2
Ur horseband changed his attitude towards u when you gave birth to your first child,why did you allow him to impregnate you for the 2nd time?
Why did you end up with a lazy and jobless man in the first place?Your parents have begged you to leave him alone and you are still with him trying to see if he will change,my dear time dey go oh.you are too soft and he is just using u,imagine giving him 20k at the end of the month from your own sweat.Haba!How are u sure that he is not spending it on his side chick(s)?
As soon as u leave him,he will get up and start doing something!
Pls divorce him and move on jare.Be careful of this new guy oh,he might not be as good as he seems.Goodluck.
nar 1...dont let your mindset ruin your future. most people are influenced by what their family thinks before they can marry a lady. i think you should always discuss all the important things to your spouse from the onset to avoid repeated mistake. and genuine love does not look at all these petty issue.
ReplyDeletenar 2.....I am supporting your husband o. but if the only reason you wrote all these bad thing about him was becuase some colleague in the office is getting close and personal, then you will live to blame yourself.
marriage has many trial periods. is there nothing good about him? did he lost his job? did you marry a jobless man? may be you need to reinvite the love back into your marriage.....as for me, you need to make this your marriage work. The only reason you want to throw in the towel is because of this new person. you go soon learn.
Nkan nbe.. stella pls do post 2day's chronicles of hope mk I take step dwn this anger frm narrative 2..
ReplyDeletePoster 1: don't mind the sanctimonious fools. if you check their homes you will see that yours as a broken home is even better than theirs. Don't let them define who you are. what they don't know is that children from broken homes manage their marriages better bcos they wouldnt want to end up like their parents.
ReplyDeleteThat's how my MIL came up with that broken home ish as an excuse but thank God for giving me a DH that knows what he wants and stood by me through thick and thin.
Don't worry your man will locate you. E-Hugs.
Poster2: Please just face your children. Ignore the lazy baboon and hustle. God bless your hustles.
N1, you just have to be prayerful to meet the right man, even though there's this myth that pple from broken homes usually end up same. Most families especially mothers don't like to hear their sons say "they want marry a woman whose mother left the father" that's why in igbo land enquiries are properly made before someone marries a woman.
ReplyDeleteN2: hmm so you are already seeing another man and he has already promised you marriage even though he knows you are still married??? Lol. Believe me the man will discharge you when the f**ck bellefull am. You have fallen yakata already because he told you he would marry you?? You think he truly loves you ???? I pity you though. Was your husband not this nice to you when he first met you??? Woman the "angel"you know, is better than the angel you don't know. Work on your home.
Poster one: u nid to check if dere is something ur lacking
ReplyDeletePoster two: like Stella said....u are married to ursef.....if I were u I wud have left dat marriage a long time ago...wait was he not behaving like dis wen u people were dating....was he hardworking...cuz I don't see any reason y a hardworking man will stay at home sleeping while his mates are busy looking for food for dere family...it is too bad..is he ashamed dat ur d one feeding him???wat is his family saying about d issue? cuz I don't just get d chronicles at all
Madam abeg pick ur shoes up and run from dat bondage u call marriage eyyya
Poster2: please don't jump into another marriage. Trust me, that man just wants to kpansh you and clean mouth. Just pretend that you are a single mother and face your children.
ReplyDelete*tear*
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - I think you should get that thought out of your head and work on your relationships just incase you are hooking up with the wrong type of guys. Also stop giving out too much information about your family background too early in your relationship, give the relationship time to grow before you start to tell all.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - I'm sure you must have seen signs your man was lazy even before you married him but you ignored them. I noticed you silently slipped in your new affair after all your complaints about your husband. Two wrongs don't make a right, having a lazy husband is no grounds for infidelity. As Stella said you have only 2 option either work on your marriage or call it quits! ultimately the decision is yours.
Bv's please help a sister in need. I lactate and for a month now have not seen my period ( meaning I don't Ovulate) and last week I went to the general hospital to see a Doctor and he said I should go for test before anything. That for now he can't tell what is wrong with me since am not pregnant ( bcox I did pregnancy test and it's Negative) as. It stands now I don't have money for the test (FSH test). Please Bv's i need in whatever way that you can help me I will really appreciate.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean when you say you lactate? Did you just have a baby? If yes, how old? Or do you just have milky discharge from your breasts? Please respond.
DeleteHian!
DeleteNo advice, No nothing
Where is your husband?
@ local girl... milky discharge from my breast and last month I did not see my period. Went to the hospital, did pregnancy test to knw if am pregnant but the result of the pregnancy test came out 'Negative' before he asked me to go for Female: LH, FSH, PROL, PROG test but I don't have have the money for test as it stands.
DeleteWaow
ReplyDeletePoster 1,change your mindset, when you meet the right person, he will love you for who you are.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: finding yourself in an unpleasant and difficult situation is one thing and looking for ways to make that situation not so unpleasant is another thing. when you noticed this lack of care and laziness why did you go ahead to get pregnant a second time? i wont ask you to leave because a change in your financial situation is not dependent on your leaving him. please STOP STOP STOP STOP feeding that lazy ass of a man. deny him sex and anything you can deny him till he is ready to meet up with his financial responsibilities.
ReplyDeleteMarriage isn't as bad as pple think it is. Poster 1,please change your mindset as regards to u being from a broken home and dat it is d reason your relationship isn't working....Be positive. The Lord is your strength. Poster 2, I wonder why some men are callous. There is nothing as good as being married to one's friend and to one that has the fear of God... Your hubby doesn't have the fear of God...The fact that he isn't working is also a big issue and to make matter worse,he wldnt let u ave rest of mind,pls leave him for a while..Let him feel your impact once you are away, am sure that he wldnt want to lose you either when he isn't a bastard
ReplyDeletePOSTER 1: BEING FROM A BROKEN HOME DOES NOT MAKE YOU BAD. it also depends on the way you carry yourself. Stop living in self-pity. MAKE MEN DESIRE & APPRECIATE YOU. My parents separated when i was 2 years, and i grew up with my dad. Didn't meet my mum till i was 17. But, there is no guy i have met that doesn't respect me. Na me dey do shakara sef. So my dear, work on yourself, and your self-esteem. Live like you don't give a fuck about the guys. Whether u'r 27 or 50 is not the issue. Never act desperate in a relationship. Just let things flow naturally.
ReplyDeleteLol the ones that are single, are shouting and praying to get husbands, while the ones that are married, want to leave their homes smh. I read keenly through the singles and mingles post and I can't help but wonder why 95% of the people seeking relationships on that post, were women, yet I read them calling men all sorts of names here on daily basis. One would have thought with the way some of them denigrate men, it would have been almost impossibly finding anyone of them posting their emails and looking for men to hook up with. Are some of our women really being truthful to themselves or being hypocritical?? Or was it ghost that posted over 1,000 comments yesterday looking for men to hook up with ??? Or maybe there is something I am not getting here. Not until yesterday, did I know we have more than a thousand single, eligible, cute women wasting on this blog and am yet to hook up with one. Now stella find me some cute igbo chick make I marry abeg.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - you will see a guy who will love you. Dont always put in your mind that any new relationship you enter it will always ends up in tears. Be positive about urself.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - Ifeel your pain. You try oooo. Hope you did not use pregnancy to hold the man sha. if you want to stay, dont allow him to fuck you or carry belle again until he is responsible to take care of the pregnancy.
Leave him if your mind is made up because i know you have made up your mind. just want to know what we will tell you. take heart ooo
Poster 2: that nigga no be man...check him well.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Faith and prayer makes it all possible
I am from a broken home but well-cultured. I grew up with my dad and he's very strict and does not fail to discipline you. This has made me strong and able to handle real life situations, and earn respect from people. i respect people and don't treat people anyhow. STop living in self-pity. If 50% children from broken homes are bad, i am among the good 50%. Build yourself and carry yourself well. This is one of the reasons i fear marriage, cos i will fight for it to work. and i don't want to end up with the wrong person. I need someone who will love me unconditionally and also willing to make it work. my children won't suffer what i suffered, and i'm a virtous woman.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 I cn tell from ur write up dat you forced yourself on d man knowing fully well dat he is not employed,im sorry to say this :women lik u disgust me,he was annoyed wen u got pregnant,like really?whats the joy of marriage if not for making babies,to crown it all u pay him monthly salary from ur meagre income,madam u must be a leaner,sebbi. U don force urslf on him now,im certain u went along co-habiting assuring him both of u will be doin fine with ur little income,now your eyes are more open to what u will live the whole of ur life doing,my dear u beter carry ur cross as u neva evn start anything yet,na u go still dey snd moni to his parents,this is a lesson to desperados like u,its dose innocent kids dat I pity.shior!madam carry your cross jere.you know what to do.
ReplyDeleteNo be our fault dat we make d wrong choice,am also in a delima, diff is we nvr wed but both fam don knw each other. I need to walk away for my sanity.was afraid becos na my late thirties I dey,and wat will people say, but wen I think of tieing d knot wt someone like him,I realise its best to remain single, chai mony he no get, alaridi talika(poor sturborn man), he thinks I can't go,but av made up my mind now.I need my peace. Any little things he insult complain and blackmails abt anytin blackmailable. ode. Having serious migrain
ReplyDeleteLeave d ode and get someone better
DeleteNarr 1,its mind over matter my dear..I guess you are paranoid because of the stories you hear.believe in your heart that it is a non-issue and so will it be.there is absolutely nothing wrong with your parents having seperated.it was traumatic,yes.but truth is it doesn't define you.and it got nothing to do with your relationships not working out.
ReplyDeleteNarr 2,its a sad sad situation..God will make a way for you.
#1: My darling, there's this belief that children from broken homes, especially the girls, end up having unstable marriages which inevitably end in divorce. The rational is, girls watch their mothers' relationship with their fathers as they grow up and inadvertently copy the behavioural patterns of their mothers. Typically, once a marriage fails, all fingers are pointed at the woman and she's blamed for not keeping her home in order. Society is very judgmental on women and they are stigmatised as "bad wives". Nobody cares about all the horrors she had to endure during the marriage.
ReplyDeleteIn some cases, the woman is kicked out and replaced with another who doesn't care about the children in that marriage. Naturally, the female children have the higher tendencies to clash with the new wife who is a replacement for their mum. As time progresses, the daughters start resending their fathers and invariably transfer some resentment to the men they marry. They may not even be aware of the transference. Every indiscretion of their husbands remind them of their fathers' betrayals, so the offences of their husbands are magnified in their eyes and they see no reason to endure and try to work on their marriages. Why should they suffer in a bad marriage? After all, their mothers didn't either by accident or design. The saying "like mother, like daughter" comes to play here. This is one theory, though I don't necessarily agree with it. There are exceptions to this theory.
Honey, sadly enough, this is the mindset of most people. Even if a guy doesn't share this view, his family and friends may prevail on him, swaying his mind. Especially now that the divorce rate has sky rocketed. There's also the spiritual belief of generational curses of divorce handed down from one generation to another.
Don't despair, my darling, sometimes you need something like this to test the love a man professes. The man worthy of your love will come and choose you, regardless of your family background. Stop panicking because of your age, make sure you select decisively so you don't end up confirming this theory. Try to renew your mind and stop believing something is wrong with you. After all, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you carry God's DNA in you.
#e-bearhugs.
Don't I just love this woman! I look forward to your comment...always full of wisdom!
DeleteRonalda, thumbs up.
Delete@ Poster 1, you might be sending out the wrong vibe. Once dated a lady whom I was in love with. She was from a broken home. I didn't mind but over time I realized her experience from a broken home had left her dysfunctional at some levels - leaving her with faulty decision mechanism, expectations and assumptions about people and relationships.
ReplyDeleteTry as I may to work with her, that dysfunctional side of her eventually broke us up.
Unfortunately, some people from broken homes can carry some unpleasant baggage but too many people just assume its the same for everybody. Yet, it may be good for you to do some critical self evaluation.
Ife neme nu
ReplyDeletePoster2, frm ur story, its obvious ur DH is just punishing U, buh my questn is, Were tins any beta bf U accepted his proposal and later changed*if so pls pray more and worry less. And again Y wld he cope wit jst 20k frm ur monthly salary buh can't manage a paid job of less dan 50k? I think he is jst lazy. Like stella advised take a break n let him be 4 now am sure tins will get beta,,,,,,,,,,loads of luck!
ReplyDelete1. Don't let your parent's break-up affect your life. When Mr right come knocking, I'm sure you guys will have a lengthy conversation. Pls let him know from the onset that your parents aint together and ensure you are no the cause of what is happening to you. Work on yourself if you are. He'll stay if he's for you. Try to be different. You can't keep doing the same thing all over and still expect a different result. Put your past behind and move forward. Its well
ReplyDelete2. I think you should talk to your husband and if he seem not to listen and isn't ready to change, as bitter as this may seem, please go back to your parents and see if he'll change. Please let God lead you on what to do. That final decision lies with you. Its well
Poster 1 pls don't be paranoid and Trust in God
ReplyDeletePoster2 follow your heart ...and take good care of your kids
Poster 2. You are married to urself and am sure u saw "hints" before marrying this man, but you ignored. He is a stingy man and there's no way u wont see that trait while dating him. Stingy men cant hide their attitude for long but u probably thought he will change in marriage. How wrong u were!
ReplyDeleteYou are the only one that can help yourself. You ask me how? STOP SPOONFEEDING HIM. Its not ur responsibility to feed him and carry all other burden alone, it's his responsibility and you are only meant to support but since he has failed in doing that and there's no sign he wants to start anytime soon.....then stop feeding him with your money. Your kids are still very young judging from ur story, cook only what is enough for you and your kids.
From ur narrative, i can tell you even buy him "aso-ebi" when you have parties to attend and you probably pay the tfare or fuel ur car to and fro(i know these things cos i know a lady like that)...my dear, STOP ALL THAT. Your hubby is the head of the home and not the baby of the house. Of course, he will react to all these(insult, abuse,and all) and even report you to people but you just have to be firm and strong willed to do this.
If you do not let him know with your actions that it is not your responsibility to do all these, my dear, u may just continue to carry d burden alone except you decide to quit ur marriage(which is not really necessary for now). I hope you will be courageous enough to liberate urself.
Poster 1. It is well. You are not cursed. Some people like me will never date a person from a broken home not to talk of marrying such. In fact, that was one thing my parents warned me sternly about when i was single. The reason is not far fetched....the belief that situations that led to the parents breaking up MAY have taken its toll on the children, thus, affecting their input in the home. And since marriage is not something you experiment, the thought of giving it a trial will be very difficult.
However, I advice you tell any man that shows interest in you this before committing yourself in a relationship. That way, the stories of heartbreak wont come up. Above all, keep praying that a man that will love you for who you are finds you. It is well!!!
N1, it is not good to judge but i can tell you that the 2 ladies i know that are from broken homes are also divorced, there is this one that her mother is on her 3rd marriage and she is on her second marriage now, the other one's mother left them with their father when they were young now she has done the same to her children so you see some times we can't help but judge. That is not to say you will do the same though. Good luck. N2, You are a cheating wife that is why your hubby changed, don't come here and put all the blame on your hubby.
ReplyDeletePoster1 I don't think your parents break up have anything to do with your situation,stop giving this guys chance to make you miserable
ReplyDeletePoster2 leave that lazy man,you call a husband,i hate lazy men
#2: I normally form an opinion as I read through most narratives and my line of thoughts is usually consistent. However, my love, I read a line from your narrative that jolted me with trepidation. A male colleague of yours, knowing your predicament yet proposes marriage to you? Baby, please don't tell me you can't see what's fundamentally wrong with this scenario? "I want to marry you" easily translates to "I wanna get some" when the proposal comes too quickly and quite oddly. This trickery has been mastered by many mischievous men. What self respecting man will see all you're going through and instead of counselling you or trying to see ways for you to cope, will offer to marry you out of a bad situation? Just like that? If he were so chivalrous and kind hearted, why, pray tell, is he still single? The colossal mistake most women make is, once they are having problems with 1 man and another man shows up, they jump to the wrong conclusion that their "prince" has arrived to save the day but they end up sorely disillusioned because most times, the new guy preys on their vulnerability and takes advantage of them. It's not always an either or situation.
ReplyDeleteHoney, you are the only one who knows first hand what you're going through and if it's as bad as you've stated, then that's horrible! But please, make sure your desires for this colleague isn't making you exaggerate your challenges. The heart of a woman is enigmatic, sometimes it even amazes us, how our hearts react. It's only natural to feel like you can't go on any longer, when what looks like a way out appears. After all, your hubby didn't just start this annoying behaviour, no?
Try to call a family meeting with both families, he did listen to his sister once, didn't he? Let the family see what can be done to ameliorate the crisis in your marriage. I'm not holding brief for your hubby but I know most men who behave like asses only get worse when they loose their jobs and have no steady source of income. They feel emasculated and act out, they behave better when they get back on their feet again. You are in a better position to assess your situation but please, my darling, make sure the "new kid on the block" wouldn't influence your final decision. All the best, dearie.
Wisdom!!!
Delete@poster 1:stop assuming things.due to your assumptions; you will be missing out on delicate things that matter.non of you boyfriends has ever told you about your split family being the cause of your break ups.it can be your behavior that is driving them away and because your whole mind is centered on this; you will not be able to know the real problem.pls sit him down and ask him what the problem is and pls do not insinuate or raise the issue about your family while you discuss it.pls stop languishing in self pity.take care
ReplyDeletewhat da heck.
ReplyDeleteposter 2: dont leave ur marriage for anything please. take an intentional walk and see wat happens. dont forget prayer works.
what da heck.
ReplyDeleteposter 2: dont leave ur marriage for anything please. take an intentional walk and see wat happens. dont forget prayer works.
@Ronalda tnx darling,I appreciate ur advice. as 4 those dat ve judged me wrongly make una fear God oo. I ve sent Stella a mail about all u need to no about wot u ve asked me,I hope she posts it.
ReplyDelete@ poster 2: nwanyi ibem ndo oh.is really a pity the things that women go through in marriages; but what can we do.we have to fight and never give up because of the kids.it is not easy but we have to do it. see poster one is already grown with the psychological effects of her broken home. so we just have to stay in order to avoid this happening to our kids as far there is no physical abuse that is detrimental to life.our mothers did it for us.their own was even worse because women were not heard then but now at least we speak up and we are heard.so if our mothers can cope in those extreme harsh conditions; then we too can.pls cut off that relationship totally in order not to complicate issues that will make you feel worse at the end.be patient ok And pray.concentrate on the kids OK.pray for him and remember that there is nothing God can not do because the hearts of men belong to him.cry unto him in this trying moment and he will hear you inugo.jisi ike oh
ReplyDeleteHmmmm Nna mehn, I don't even no where to put my mouth. D 2 stories re heart breaking. N1 is just like me, mine isn't dt my parents broke up but I lost my dad wen I was just 4, n now if someone come to ask our hand in marriage, ppl dt dnt even no my family history will tell dem dt my mum ran away from her matrimonial home with us. My sisters n myself av had atleast 3 suitors each but still d same story chased d men away. But God knows it's not true, some of d men wen de found out abt d truth can't come back bc by den de re already married, n de won't even tell us d main truth of d break up so dt we can atleast defend ourselves. De will just give nonsense excuses. One even said dt he is breaking up wt my sister bc he can't marry someone from another state. But it's even recently dt one opened up to us d reason y he is running away b4 we now showed d guy all d evidence dt he needs. Ppl can be wicked so my dear, wen d right man comes he will stick around like d guy dt sticked wt my sister. It will pass, just no dt u re not alone, pray always abt it n also work on urself so dt u won't be d cause of d break ups. As for d N2 d ball is in ur court n only u dt wears d shoe knows where is paining u. I don't really put my mouth in marriages bc is sacred. God bless n give u d right way to go abt ur predicament. Peace.
ReplyDeleteGod have mercy on both porters!!!porter 1 ur parents separate does not mean it's affecting u.you meeting the wrong person dats it.poster 2 ur hubby is lazy am just short of words for him.pls never u stop paying ur tithe
ReplyDeleteP1-If you are Igbo and set on marrying an Igbo man, pray for one that is a true Christian cause na we pretend pass meanwhile we know what some of us see with our parents. Nigerians are very hypocritical, if only kids from a broken home are "bad" for marriage then we wouldn't have the issues we are having in Nigerian marriages. All the products of patch patch marriages are showing themselves today. A very small % grew up in stable homes. The father was beating up the woman, cheating on her, maltreating her and they have taken this into their own homes, but they want to judge you whose mother might have decided not to be killed in a man's house or whose mother was replaced. Stop looking down on yourself, your mindset is attracting these small minded people. You are worthy of a good man. If God used our backgrounds to bless us or our past, then a number of women and men here (including my Bitchplis who is using mouth to talk) will not like what will come to them. Thank God man is not God.
ReplyDeleteN2-Your man really needs a reset. You should stop acting like you have no spine. Stop giving him money, and start acting like your life does not depend on him.
U are so on point
Deletedon't mind DAT idiotic bitchpls, in a sane society, u intelligence level would only be able to qualify u to be someone's houseboy. #teamstrongwomen#
Delete@ local gal... I have a milky discharge from my breast and last month I did not see my period. And the Doctor said I should go for Female: LH, FSH, PROL, PROG test but I don't have money for it as it stands
ReplyDeletePs 1.generaly men bliv if u are from a broken then dia own wil like break too cos your upbring is onesided but trust God to giv u a man ok.
ReplyDelete2nd poster ,decide it yaself wed to go or stay.God help u
Am d 2nd poster. Thanks u all 4 all ur advice,I really appreciate dem, may God bless u all,Stella Tnx 4 posting my story. As 4 those dat insulted me tnx 2,u guys judged me wrongly, d guy in question is my close friend, can't I ve a close friend dat is not f**king me or doing any dirty thing wit me? just bcos I said he proposed some of u ve concluded dat we re dating & he has started f**king Me already, Nawaa oo una minds too dirty. well I will try and leave d house 4 sometime,his elder brothers re in Lagos, I will stay with one of dem to no if he will change but if after dis he doesn't change omo na go I dey soooo.
ReplyDeleteposter 1... free ur mind, guess its ur mindset dt is playing on u. you will find some1 who will luv u for real.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, Tufiakwa which kind person u marry so? that man is just so lazy and stingy con join, ds matter worse. lol @ alwys sleeping, I support @onomebonny na sperm donor u get. Imagine u giving him 20k out of your small salary again! kai the man is heartless abeg, if to say u dey save all dos 20k wey u dey give am u for don gather enough moni for bank. My sis the decision is for u to take o buh whatever pls don't jump into another man's hand so fast. u rili do need to improve urslf so u cud get something more better. I feel ur pains abeg @ 29 fa.