*deep sigh*
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
WHEN RELIGION THREATENS A RELATIONSHIP...
Hi Stella, how are you doing? You're really touching lives here pretty much. I'm an ardent BV, discovered your blog mid 2014. Since then I don't miss a day without hoppin' in here.
I've got an issue that's throwing me off balance anytime I remembered it. I'm 24 now, lives in N.Y and I've got a beautiful lady that makes me happy. We started dating back in 2010 when I was in Nigeria, after one year into the relationship, I left Nigeria and we talk few months before I stopped calling her and don't pick her calls either. Spent 2 years and came back to Nigeria and we got back together again but this time around...Very Very Serious, From all indications she's awesome. Nothing moves her be it money, cars, jeweleries, gadgets etc...She's just natural.
Now, I'm planning to marry her but there's seems to be a problem of religion, every religion now teaches marry only in the lord...We are from different religions and if I mention to my people that I want to marry a girl from another religion, I will be given the warning of my life. My religion discourages marrying from another religion and I see this as a problem although I have not talked to her about it. She's gonna be devastated if I mention that to her because she's got a soft heart and always afraid of guys. Don't know how to tell her about this without hurting her.
Please dear Stella and fellow BV's how do I tell her this without hurting her. She's my Treasure and I've took many actions since I came back to keep only her
I'm gonna sit my ass down and read comments. Should there be typographical error, kindly bear with me.
Embarrassment is allowed..lols I need advice from blog visitors.
Ah my dear,let me siddon near you and read comments oh.
.........................................................................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
RANTS FROM A CONFUSED SIBLING/PLAYING GAMES WITH YOUR MARITAL STATUS
Stella am so in love with your blog..
Your BVs are so encouraging and welcoming.. well why am sending in this narrative becos of my younger sister 27yr...i am three years older than her. She is married with 2 kids for 5years. We are both graduates and i also got married last year May But the problem is that she doesnt introduce herself as a married woman.
If it comes to the worst she will only admit of being a mother and not a wife.. Most her friends dont even know she is married.. she said its only ideal to talk about her status with her husband alone in their bedroom.. if we go out she tell people that am her senior friend, when i asked her why? she will say "she dont want the atmosphere to be boring". She so jovial and can get the attention of people. So a week to my wedding she called me. And told me that marriage is not what it seems on the outside.. i should learn to absolve issues and keep my head above waters. That i should know when to be a mother, a wife, a friend,a career woman,and a single girl..
Fastforward to this Month. I have started having issh with my husband, i just had a D&E. So i went to her complaining, she laughed and told me that i need a job. So she offered to help me but i should never tell anyone that we are sisters.. This is the career part of her life and there is no space for family. She works at NLNG intels. Please my beloved BVs should i accept this offer?. And for the records** she and her husband are like friends. If he sees her with her friends will never introduce himself as her husband ,he will just act like they meeting for the first time.. he practically worships her... she says its becos he still sees the single lady he met years ago.. She says its fun, but i think its crazy.
I am not envying ooo... l just want peace in my home, and with myself. Just like her.
What is D and E?did you mean D and C?.
Well i dont know if it is wrong but sometimes my hubby and i pretend to be strangers just for fun.i can even introduce him as my boyfriend.such games takes the understanding of the couple involved.if your man isn't game or not the understanding,playful type,PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT ALL.
Your sister also doesnt want to be associated with you?na wah...i am out!
Make i siddon read comments.
Narrative 1,
ReplyDeleteSeems you've made up ur mind to end things,cos if you want is soo bad,nothing is gonna stop you *straight face*
Poster 2: ehmmm,I don't know what to say...he he
Poster 1: which one is religion, just tell us if it's Islam or christianity or traditional, whether you like it or not u have to tell her abt it and see how she feels abt it, stop assuming for her except you have made up ur mind that if would be and hindrance.... it's not a crime for 2 couples to worship different God, just have to lead ur kids in both ways and let them choose what they want...
DeletePoster 2: U had better accept, to get a job now is very difficult, and your sister might have examples to why she acts like that!!
Poster 1 you shA want to just end things with the lady in question if not you will not be talking all these ones. Your mind is already made up and I don't think tou love her as much as she loves you cz you said you went to the states Nd then tou stopped picking her calls. Anywho, that one consign you. Go and marry who your "religion" wants you to marry and few years down the line you will come back with a different chronicle. Poster 2, both you and your sister are weird. That's all the advice I've got 💋
DeleteStella that your Seat. Dat tin Mmmmmm!. Poster 2 please get the job. Poster 1. you knew all the While Religion will be a barrier you were busy wasting her time forgetting Women fade like flower. Mscheew.
DeleteI tot we have handled dis issue of religion on a particular chronicle?poster1,go back there and check.#eyelashes
DeletePoster2,its possible ur sister and her hubby are in an open relationship,now open marriage,she might not tell u dat but be careful how u adopt her ways cos she and her man might have that understanding.
Unto her denying ur being her sis,i don't think it's a big deal cos usually when u introduce ur elder sibling to friends they tend to become more careful in their words and acts as a sign of respect.so maybe she wanted everyone to feel free.
Also some organisations don't employ siblings or spouses,hope u are aware of dat?so that should be d reason for d denial of u at d job'.
Pls have some faith in ur sister,i think she's someone dat has resolved to make herself happy no matter what life throws at her.which is a good thing.infact such pple live long.
Poster one:u caused ur problem....rite from time u knew ur religion do not allow u to marry odas den y did u go dat far with her......u have ur decisions to make....and know dat wateva u do does not only affect uu but also affects ur family member ....so b wise
DeletePoster two:dont know wat to say.....but wat works for ur sis mite not work for u ohh...just follow ur heart
Poster 1- I do not see much of a problem here.
ReplyDeleteCall your wife to be, and have a chat about the religion issue. Something must give, someone must be willing to bend over backward otherwise.....I believe love is about sacrifice.
If this is not achieveable, then you may just brush off all the lovey dovey mush mush you both have for each other and call it quits.
Poster 2- I need to re-read your story. It wasn not clear at first read. But how come your sis hates to tell people she is married? Or is the name 'husband' too heavy for her mouth?
For the job part, some companies don't employ siblings or spouses. Maybe that's the angle she is coming from. Maybe I say o!
If that's not the case, she may be hiding from something. She maybe living a lie.
Abeg Stella shift, I wan sitdon. Leg don de pain me
im a christian girl, seeing a hindu guy. i wish things were different as my dad is a group pastor in deeper life. :(
DeleteWhen oga n i go out,i say meet my guy ,he introduces me as my babe or my girl.Sometimes if we meet outside i say hi n wave n waka,that doesnt stop him from pounding me like akwu at night.
DeleteYour sis is eccentric n i love her. I dislike normal folks cos ppl say i dey do somehow.
Poster 1,NY in new york or Ngwa Rd Yard ?
Who again?
Lol @pounding like akwu... reminds me of when I used to prepare ofe akwu for the fam :)
DeletePoster one, you sound like you want out already? Religion, religion, religion I see this as an excuse because if you both love each other like you claim then this shouldn't be a problem. One can simply convert to the others religion.... so wear. The big boy pants and do the need-ful or spare her further heartache...
ReplyDeletePoster two, good luck to whatever decision you come to from this blog
Hmmmmm
DeletePoster 1,you will just have to let her know except of course she will convert to your religion.its better now than keep been scared of how she will react.pls do not waste her precious years if you know its impossible on your side.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, as long as she gets you the job,what's there.I don't see any way she is trying to break your home o.unless she is asking you to do anything sinful to get there.
Actually,I don't understand why she has to be that jovial with you too.is she not proud of you as a sister?
Poster1,religion issue is a very strong one, it's better u let her know so she dsnt build up hopes, can see you guys are young,so she has enough time in front of her, I can't advice you to continue the relationship because religion issues in relationships is something else.. Poster2, ur sister nd her hubby has an understanding, people are different nd this her approach might not favour u if u apply it to ur marriage, I see her as a smart girl nd a goal getter, you better accept this offer with speed and alacrity so ur hubby would respect u cos wen u are successful,men would respect u.bye
DeleteWot can I say, make I follow siddon read comments.
ReplyDeleteNa siddon read comments mode we dey today. Not a bad thing btw. Oya ooo advisors, we dey wait.
ReplyDeleteGist 2: your sister is offering you a job on the condition you hide the fact she is your sister and you are contemplating what to do?
ReplyDeleteOk.
Gist1: you are 24 and you seriously started re-dating someone of a different religion with you and you did not know religion will be na issue?
OK too
Stella, Buhari has addressed the press on his certificate bruhaha. kindly let us have the gist
ReplyDeletePOSTER 1: In Africa,Marriage is not just between two parties. It involves the two families. You both should not have continued having known that u'r from different religions. It's never going to be easy for the families to accept this. Even if you continue, what happens when you're no more there to protect your love. The girl may not find things easy as well. Except you both are ready to forsake your families cos of this marriage ( not the best choice), don't go into it. THis is a hard nut to crack. Look out for these things in a relationship before things get too serious. We cannot ignore the fact that religion is a dividing force these days, just the way health is.
ReplyDeleteThis ones be like say dem pass me. Lemme just read comment joor.
ReplyDeletePlease click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips
that stool though,hmn.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say to N2, i don't understand her story. N!, Any body can call MOI names but i don't care. I will not alloy any of my children marry a muslim, NO I WONT! I don't understand them. Especially the one from the North. I DONT UNDERSTAND THEM PERIOD! I am also very scared of tribal marks.
ReplyDeleteP2 Accept the job offer but still focus on your family. P1 you will definitely break her heart and it already looks like you are ready to let her go. We are one in our creator's eyes you know?!So have a rethink if you really love her.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, lemme finish this kunu, then i will come back to comment
ReplyDeleteCome this poster one,
ReplyDeleteHow old are you again??...24?????....and you are talking of marriage...
Common go and wash the dishes biko...
Inukwa?...
What do you know about marriage??...
Go and suck on your mums boobie make we hear word....
Age is just a number. Life is too short to live it miserably(family drama and lots more) . Think well.
DeletePoster 1, are you from Jehovah Witness? I guess you are a witness. I know a friend who was a witness and the husband to be was from a different religion but due to love, the guy had to convert to her region. He got baptized in Jehovah Witness and became a full member. That was how he married the love of his life and they are living happily today. So the ball is in your court. If truly you love her, you can ask her to convert to your religion or you join her.
ReplyDeleteThings we do for love. I wish you all the best dear.
N1,u better tell d lady before its too late.Keeping it from her does it solve d issue.Call her and tell her calmly by d way u knew all this and never told her.Pray about it,let ur people know bf u assume,they will go berserk, miracles do happen.
ReplyDeleteN2.my dear sister u will be shocked,their marriage will last for years as long as she's not cheating and her husband is not complaining, he's obviously enjoying it or u don't tink so?If u don't envy her mind ur business and push ur own kaiya!
Today narrative na ican exam . Make I siddon think wetin I wan type.
ReplyDeletePoster1 Love conquers all
ReplyDeletePoster2 Your chronicle is somehow, don't know if its just me but i'm finding it hard to put it together cos at the end I don't find any problem/issue in your epistle
NLNG intel and u're dulling yourself,
NLNG is still the highest paying oil and gas firm in the country
If u don't want it pls push it to someone that needs it pls.
poster two, u got me so confusef.
ReplyDeleteposter one, u didnt knw ur religion does nt allow outside marriage b4 u came back n decided to be serious wit her abi? u hv been unfair to her, bcos frm d wsy u sound u hv chosen ur line of action. kudos
What is your addiction? Mine is reading stories
If you love good stories, join me. click this link
STORY JUNKIE
These BV's and their issues sha! Orishirishi, make I follow them read comments too.
ReplyDeleteThis one pass me fa....Make I siddon read comments oo
ReplyDeletePoSter1 since you know yo can't marry her, sit her down and explain to her, she already has invested her emotions time and life to you, if you can't stand on ur choice of her please let er go and let her know on time cos she must have had other suitors by now but have let dem off cos of you.
ReplyDeletePoster2 what works for your sister maynot work for you, so please learn to take care of yourself and your family using ur own method. And face your family let her be biko. Settle ur issues with ur hubby nd treat ur sister as she wants to be treated she has her own reason. If its a job you need and she can help use her means but still face ur family. Bye
Poster 1,understanding each other in a relationship matter most. I dnt see anytin wrong,talk 2 ur parents n let dem understand wat is going on b4 is 2 late.
ReplyDeletePoSter1 since you know yo can't marry her, sit her down and explain to her, she already has invested her emotions time and life to you, if you can't stand on ur choice of her please let er go and let her know on time cos she must have had other suitors by now but have let dem off cos of you.
ReplyDeletePoster2 what works for your sister maynot work for you, so please learn to take care of yourself and your family using ur own method. And face your family let her be biko. Settle ur issues with ur hubby nd treat ur sister as she wants to be treated she has her own reason. If its a job you need and she can help use her means but still face ur family. Bye
Narr1, You kept on saying your religion, her religion without being specific. How do you want us to be of help to you if you are not being sincere. Anyways, If you feel you can't marry her,let her know now rather than later and am sure she will get over it maybe not now but she will be fine..Narr2, Your sister's behaviour is kind of strange and too new skool but if that is her person,respect her for it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahaha...your sister is like me....
OMG this looks like me...
The earlier you stop carrying marriage on your head the better for you...
Loosen up a little biko and grab the job...
Your sister looks like my type and I like her already...
Put a man on ur shoulders not on ur head , when load tiya you, you decide what to do with it lol
DeleteNot married so I'll sit down and read comments.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeleteLooking foward to chronicles of HOPE,am losing my head.
Poster 1, you did not tell us the type of religion abi na pagan you dey fear to talk. If you love her, do the best you think that will make you happy.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 .... behave like mermaid like your sister na. Am sure she and hussy dont want to loose their jobs in NLNG Intel. If you are not comfortable with it, dont accept the job. She is happy in staying that way, so you too should be happy in staying the way you are
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteYou didn't bring in religious sentiments while dating her but it has gotten to a stage where you are thinking of marrying her and suddenly your religious background has become a barrier.Fear God oh.
If you truly love her,marry her and damn the consequences,if you don't love her enough,pls tell her now and let her go..don't west her time,she deserves better.
Poster 2
I don't understand your sis...
I also say'PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS'.It may work for your sister and backfire on your marriage! Don't try to be a copy cat.QED.
ReplyDeleteBoth posters am short of words for now, will be back to comment later.
ReplyDelete#1 I believe the lady converts to the guy's religion after marriage.If your lady has no problem with ur religion,i don't think u have a problem.I guess u just have to talk to her to know
ReplyDelete#2 Some couples are just crazy, i guess they are having fun.Let them be as long as they are not complaining. Me don't understand d 'senior friend' ish sha...lolz
Poster 2, the kind of relationship u've built with your partner allows for such to happen..will just also sit & read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,hmmmmmm
Poster 1 wat kind of religion is dat naaa.....if u truly love her, I don't tink deres an issh...my 2cents. Poster 2 bia if u nvr wan comot for ur horseband hux, no folo ur sis do wetin she dey do oooo
ReplyDelete#mistress of spices
My dear, there's an issue o, I for one will not start a relationship with a Muslim wen I know Iwnt marry him nd there would be problems wen d talk of marriage comes btw both parents
DeleteHummm
ReplyDeleteDear guy, follow your heart and marry the girl you love. Your parents married themselves a long time ago. They won't live with you and your wife if you end up with a bad wife that has the same religion as you. So, follow your heart and make your parents understand. This is 2015 not 1900. Then the lady, your sister is playful, although she is taking it too far but if her husband understands you shouldn't be worrying about her. As for the job angle, it's very normal, people deny certain relationships to help others get jobs. Because they don't like employing families or friends together in some companies or organizations. I know of a man that goes to where his wife works to get contracts and he sends somebody else to go and sign the papers because they won't give him if they find out he is their staff'a husband. I know of 2 friends that worked together in the same company and did as if they didn't know themselves until they met there whereas it was one of them that informed the other they had vacancy. So, go get the job. And you must behave like your sister for your marriage to be alright. You have your own way of life.
ReplyDeleteadviser over to una,
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate with d sibling ish. My younger sister of eight years hardly introduce me as her sister to anyone, as a result, people just assume we are friends. However, she takes offence when they call me her friend, she will start ranting 'are u blind?', 'can't u see she's older than me?' *sideeyes*
ReplyDeletePoster 2,
ReplyDeleteI don't get why you are worrying about the way your sis and her hubby are living their lives.
I didn't see where you mentioned that she cheats so I don't think you have any reason to worry.
So far as she and her husband understand each other, then it's fine.
That's what's working for them so let them be.
Maybe that's how they spice up their life/marriage.
I for one don't always like showing that I'm married.
I go out sometimes without my ring and laugh out very loud when men pull over, wanting to give me a ride or ask me out.
I enjoy seeing the disbelief on their faces when I tell them I'm happily married with kids.
Recently I and hubby attended a wedding.
We both didn't wear our rings. I told him while we were dressing up that I didn't feel like wearing my wedding ring and he jokingly said that whether I like it or not, I'm his forever, ring or no ring.
We sha laughed over it and he also decided to leave his ring behind.
We also didn't take the kids cos my big cousin visited so she offered to look after them.
Lo and behold, when we got to the wedding, 2 girls who were sharing our table with us were shamelessly displaying for hubby.
What did they not do to try to get his attention.
I was dying inside with laughter but I sha pretended like I didn't notice.
Sometimes hubby will kick me under the table when they over do.
Some girls no get shame sha.
Throwing themselves at men shamelessly.
Na wa for desperation.
It was fun watching them make a fool of themselves.
A guys also walked up to me asking me to join him in his table that he wants to talk to me. I politely declined.
While on our way home, we had the laugh of our life.
We both were bragging about how hot we still are.
It was just fun.
I believe your sis and her hubby are doing so just for the fun and thrill.
Sometimes wearing the "married" tag is boring.
#my opinion.
As for the job offer, I don't think you should take it since it's in the companies policy not to employ 2 blood relatives.
Honesty and transparency should be one of the qualities of a good employee.
You won't be happy when they eventually find out later on that you both are related and have been deceiving them.
Your integrity a.d that of your sister will be at at stake.
Please look for job elsewhere ok.
All the best.
Poster 1,
I understand your reasons for wanting to call it off. Though some people might see it as a flimsy reason or that you don't love her enough, but to me it's not.
I for one can't marry outside my Catholic Church and I'm not ashamed to say it.
I won't even start a serious relationship with a none Catholic to avoid stories that touch on future.
I also wholeheartedly support anyone who finds love outside his or her faith and chose to switch to his/her partner's faith.
So far as they are happy, then it fine by me.
I only blame you for resuming the relationship again with her knowing fully well you won't take her to the alter because of your religious differences.
You shouldn't have raised her hopes again only to want to crush it.
You owe her a serious apology for leading her on.
I hope she forgives you.
I don't like it when people start something they know they can't finish.
It's quite annoying and heartbreaking.
Do what you have to do as gentle as you can.
Tell her the truth now. It will hurt but you have to tell her.
Take anything she dishes out to you in good faith.
All the best.
Forgive any typos. I'm in a hurry!
Genny she shd take d job as long as they dnt disclose to anyone they are related, one has to be smart to get certain things nd I see d sister as a smart person
DeleteI Love happy love stories, referring to your advice on poster 1 Genny baby
DeletePoster 2, i think the part of "acting" like friends with ur hubby depends on you and your partner. What worked for ur sister MAY not work for you....so find your own marriage formula. Once in a while, i introduce my hubby to people who dont know us before as my boyfriend( though he doesnt really like it but we just laugh it off) but my hubby will always introduce me to anyone as his wife.
ReplyDeleteAs per d job u seek, i see nothing wrong in ur sis introducing you as a friend to get d job. Some people introduce someone who was only introduced to them by someone else as a close relative just to get a job....shit happens! My elder brother and I work in the same company and people never knew we were even related until recently. An uncle helped us with d job and no one knew we were related with that man till now(uncle is retired now). So is it the job u need or you want to keep forming "attachment" with ur sis as if that will put money in ur wallet? The choice is yours.
Poster 1. i have nothing to say to you. You claim you love her and you didnt try fighting for your love and you already want out of d relationship cos of religion BUT you are only asking how you will let her know without hurting her.....do it whicheva way that suits you.
@Poster 2- If your sister and her husband are comfortable with the way they play, then let them be nau. Cooperate and don't tell anyone that you sre her sister. Don't deny or accept or draw attention to it. I am sure she has her reasons and they may not be bad. Because, in the cooperate world there are rules. Maybe she is not allowed to introduce any of her family members for assistance from anyone she meets through her job. And she really wants you to get a good position.
ReplyDeleteThere was once my dad and my eldest sis were working on a huge deal and since my sister is married to someone from a different tribe, my dad introduced himself as the agent while she was one of his clients. No one had to know she was the daughter. Case closed!
loools...sdk hv i told you i love you???
Deleteposter 1 if you cant change your religion for the girl you love then i guess you cant make sacrifices for this girl....tell her on time so she knows which way to go or to strt marketing herself again bfr you leave her
poster 2...honestly i like dat ur sister..lol...if her and her hubby are compatible with the way they are..live them to it....if you know its something your hubby cant handle please o..leave it bfr he strts thinking you are cheating on him...and ur sister dosent want pple to know you are sisters???na for dat side i park o...
The chronicles of today are a bit hard to crack sha.
ReplyDelete1st Chronicle: I wouldn't know the religion you belong to, but you know the degree of how strict marriage rules are where ever you belong to, do the needful by finding out stylishly from your parents their opinion about you marrying outside your religion, the choice will always be yours my brother to choose whom to marry.
2nd Chronicle all I have to tell you is that no two marriages are the same. Don't copy your sister. Accept the job not minding the condition. You will enjoy it if you are working as a married woman, your husband will respect you the more. Define your own marriage, the way you want it to be.
Lois
poster one..i see nothing wrong in marrying a girl from another religion...we re all humans created by one God...as long as you dnt allow it get in the way of ur relationship and ur parents re cool with it..you got absolutely nothing to worry about...you can sit her down though to hear what she thinks of the whole thing...that way you cn clarify any issue dt may pop up latter in the future...poster two..leave ur sister o..am sure she knows what she is doing...
ReplyDeleteP1
ReplyDeleteUr story is disjointed. What religion exactly is dat?No detailed hints frm u to make us understand u beta...If I wia to judge frm all u wrote,u love ur gurl buh can't afford to be with her right?
Is this religion deadly?..how does it work? I go siddon read comments ooo..dont break a good gal's heart,dts all I have to say to u
P2
This ur elder sis get wahala ooo...Whateva rocks her boat tho..Dont play pranks with ur marriage cos u may nt like the outcome..how can a married woman hide her status? inukwa!!!
2ndly,wat is D & E?..u lost me there.
Concerning the job ish, y doesn't she want people to kn u both are related by blood?...dat's queer and inappropriate except NLNG's recruitment conditions stipulate that workers are not permitted to help their siblings or relatives gain entry as a staff or contract worker...
Ur wedding is in a week's time,congrats in advance.
dilatation n evacuation same as D&C
DeleteYour seats re legendary, can I borrow for the main time?need to read comments don't knw what to say
ReplyDeleteMe sef de wait for comments
ReplyDeletePoster 1: you need to tell her ooo...now is it that your family will just talk or is it that they will never allow u to marry her. If its dat they will never allow u marry her, then its better u tell her, she will cry but she will move on fast. If you can stand ur ground against your family and make them accept her...pls sort it out with them, without involving her, when u win d battle, you can then tell them.
ReplyDeleteIm from a christian home, infact my grandpa was one of the pple that brought christianity to our town. My dad is an ordained pastor of a pentecostal church and my mum is an evangelist...but my Father inlaw is an Alhaji and all my kids have muslim name...but the most important person, my hubby is a christian, a serving worker in the church and soon to be ordained as a deacon. My parents didn't like dat i was marrying into a muslim family buy my dad was more concerned abt my husband's faith. when i met him, he was still trying to decide either to stay in islam or convert to christianity(his mum is christian). I told him to go away as i cant marry a muslim cus my parents will NEVER allow me to...he said he is yet to choose..i told him to go and find his God on his own and if we are meant to be, God will bring us back....8 months after, i met him again on a Sunday on his way from church...i would say i married him as a baby christian but God has matured him in HIS ways......
so tell her ooo, dont waste her time, if shes willing to change, let her do it for herself not cus she wants to be your MRS cus relationship with God is a personal thing....and who knows u mit be the one changing to her religion...and u both can live happily practising different religion as long as u respect each other...one of my aunts is an ordained pastor and her husband is a muslim, she wakes up 3.30 am during ramadan to make his food ooo and organizes ileya party....and he does not disturb her on sunday morning or midweek service....Respect n Tolerance is key....
Stella pls shift for me let me sit with you while i wait for comments
ReplyDeletecouldnt read this... my head aches badly
ReplyDeleteSo sorry
DeletePoster no 1. Hmmmm my dear to me I don't believe religion will be a barrier to marry oo, what matters is understanding, not ur family oo, what abt getting married to ur same religion woman that will make that of ur family/life unbearable nko? Even at this u should hv known this b4 now, there's no way u will put it without hurting her. Poster 2. Ppl hv different way of living their lives, ur sis and hubby understand themselves nd to me they does that cos they are protecting or hiding something I cannot figure out now, so my dear if u kn u won't dance same music wt them better say no to the job offer or remain silent.
ReplyDeleteHmm, poster 1, Religion matters wen it comes to choosing a life partner accept u r liberal minded, okay Stella sugar abeg shift make I sit down follow u read comments o.
ReplyDeleteIf that's what she wants then let her be. That's her decision and her husband aint complaining. Sometimes I don't introduce my siblings but the resemblance speaks for itself. If you really need the job, better agree with her. You wan chop blood sisters for working place? Btw some organizations don't employ same bloods in the same place. Make up your mind what you want.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Poster 1, how old are u again? I'm sure u are still under 27, please hold on with the marriage stuff for now.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, accept the job if u really need it. Someone like me so love family that I even introduce my friends and cousins as my sisters
Poster one
ReplyDeleteIt hurts me when men realise years later that a woman they have dated for years is suddenly not suitable because of unwritten laws,religion,status or age...
Now your want us to tell you how to dash her hopes? Break her heart??
This should have been avoided.. did you just join the religion? Did you just realise your folks are not going to approve? What will that poor,natural,nice girl do now???
Please going forward,before you venture into anything with a lady,define the relationship and make sure she is someone you are willing to marry! No sane,focused girl will jump into a relationship with a guy and not secretly hope for something concrete.
Second poster
Your sister might have an open marriage or might even be involved in the swingers club..with hubby.
Only God knows the rationale behind what they are doing abeg! I don't even want to waste my time thinking about the mysteries surrounding those two..
Biko take the job and limit the way you tell her about your family.. it is obvious that you don't know jack about hers!
Word. ..you've said it all
DeleteMake una shift f me mbok Stellla Bae make I join u n Bv narrator 1 sit down.
ReplyDeleteNarrative number 1: you are not serious! What were you thinking being in a relationship with her that long knowing your religion do not permit you marrying someone with different religion???? Is plain wickedness . You should be asking for advice on how to convince your parents/religion to marry her.
ReplyDelete#1, if you are a christian convert your babe to be Christ like and marry her.....but if you are a muslim, I don't know what to say but this isn't a good time to convert someone to islam considering so many terrorism world over......ayamsorry * in ibilibi's voice*
ReplyDelete#2, accept the job dear, bearing a house wife makes marriage boring I guess.....I don't understand this your sis introducing you as a friend....is she more beautiful than you?
No 1,Ur prospective inlaw must ve trained Ur fiancée wella!!
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha..........
That's like d oldest trick in d world naa......."she is so natural,she doesn't like cars,money bla bla bla......
My hubby then would take me to a boutique to buy clothes for me,he will tell me to take whatever...I will take just an item,he will give me money,I will thanks sir but d one U bought for me is enough..Yinmu!!poor guy didn't know I was acting out my mother's script and my hubby so so much love my family eh!!!
When our house was to be demolished to pave way for an "upstairs",my mother said my hubby shouldn't waste his money that he should just build two rooms with toilet.....my hubby did over,he built two "upstairs"within a spate two months......
Most times he looks at me and shakes his head because by d time he knew what was up,he has already made three of my brothers millionaire.
Believe that,then U are d only bar in town!!!
U go to Jehovah's witness???????then trust me when I tell U she will convert sharpedly and after marriage she will go like two times and then stop altogether.
My mil is higly religious and once my husband showed in me,my mother and I were regular worshipers at St Michaels Oli ugwu....immediately after marriage,I ve been married for close to 22yrs and d only time I ever went to church was to baptise my Children.
#Smiles!
DeleteEze comot dis yeye frm ur name.
I don't read it as 'olori' I read it as 'unserious'
Those stories I knew you with are bacccckkk!
DeleteLmao I just love this woman
DeleteAside the drama and all ,You tell d truth as is it. You are so right!
DeleteAllow me to asslick you.
Ezenwanyi!!!!!!!!!!;)
@Pink Shell,so U guys took me seriously????Bwahahahaha..........but seriously,I am a Yeye Aturanse 1of*****
DeletePink Shell,U think I care about I am perceived here??????d name stays till inspiration for another one comes ojare....peeps here don't know what they want,Ezenwanyi is so cool....Ezenwanyi is such a bully.....Ezenwanyi is a killer,husband snatcher,halitosis/mouth odour...upon say I agree with them oo....they are still downcast,depressed and unhappy....to tell U d truth,I am actually feeling sorry for them and in that condition it's better to lay low and I did promise Stellakork that I'd take it easy on them.
Iphie dearie m,kedu ije???
Tayan Taylor,I always disappoint those who "love",and it always put me on d
spot.
hahahaha, chai,
DeleteAll these your seats na wa o. Poster 1- I have a female friend who is a muslim but married a Christian man and she is happily married. I also have an ex whose mum is a Christian and whose dad is a muslim, some of the kids are Christians and some are muslims. Its a thing of understanding. So long as you don't intend to force her into ur religion no qualms. I am a Christian and I don't think I would have married a muslim, that's me though. to each his own. But your family should not be the one to dictate to you, it should be about what you want.
ReplyDeleteWhich religion P1 r u talking about? U be olumba?
ReplyDeleteAmorc?
Eckankar?
Ogboni?
Ama jehova?
I wonder o.
P2 I accept d job offer.
If u don't want it, give me..lol
Do what seemeth right unto thee.
N1... I'm sorry if I sound harsh but peeps like you are the very reason I run away from any form of intimacy. You are aware of your religion and yet you made her fall for u. I thought love was about shunning the world for what you know is best for you. I'm sure you guys have been together for yes and now u think religion is the problem. Why can't you sit her down and explain things to her for better understanding of what type of wedding will suit u both. You are a full grown man, talk to your parent and take responsibility pls. You didn't disclose both religion also. Unless you already got a plan B, if you truly love someone you have to go extra mile to prove it. Your fam won't live your marriage for you. You will!
ReplyDeleteN2: Take the job and play the game. When u get home then play family. Your sis is weird but I kinda like it.
Years*
DeletePoster1.did you say 24?and i dont ever think that religion,tribe,race should ever be a factor that'll keep apart 2 pple who truly love emselves. (My opinion) so if i eva found a chap i'm so in love with as you claim here then nothing will stop me from turning his mrs o.
ReplyDeletePoster2.each one has a style/technique/plan that works in thier relationship/marriage.what your sister does seems to be working for her.bear in mind it myt not work for you or another 1 in a hundred persons.
Ewu! Friend ko. Friend ni. Ewu! Ewu! Ewu!
ReplyDelete1. I think one of the reasons we are expected to marry someone of the same religion is because of mutual understanding and to avoid issues like place of worship or which religion the entire family will practise et al. Why not talk to her first about the decision you intend taking. She also needs to tell her parents if they'll also accept such.
ReplyDelete2. I heard some organizations don't permit people that are related to work in the same place. Maybe that's one of her reasons for not disclosing her relationship with you to others in the org. What do I know? You can tell her how you feel about the whole thing. Maybe you'll find out better why she's the way she is.
Poster number one....I don't really understand people...why date outside your religion?....not to talk of marriage....u know that no matter wat.... Dere is sure gonna be katakata....
ReplyDeleteI am a christian....we are all Christians in my family....from my grand to great grand...we are pure Christian.... So it will be so bad for me to date nor marry a Muslim or any other religion...let us leave love aside and face fact..Bcos if u want to go ahead, one way or another...ur wife will suffer.
Poster two......ur sister na sure girl...I like women that are free spirited.....
Abeg accept the job ajoor and play according to her rules
@Galore
P1, Man up.
ReplyDeleteP2, u sound like ur sis is more matured than u. Get the job n act the fool.
#2, Accept the job and adhere to her instruction. Your sister and her husband understand themselves, so let it be.
ReplyDelete#1, You knew your parents will not be in support of A different religion, then why did you become serious with her after coming back to Nigeria? Well, the mantle rests on you to convince your parents and discuss at length with her and let her make her choice. I and hubby are of different religion until we became same few years back.
Best of luck
Nitty.
www.thenitty-gritty. com
Dear bvs
ReplyDeletePls am newly married
Hubby's younger Bro n sis live with us. They r twin and am just some months older than them.
But the brother Will always bring girls to the house
Take her upstairs n they spend hours in the room
When I clean the house n dispose the trash can in the room I usually see used condoms meaning they usually have sex there.
I hate that.
Now my problem is if I should tell him kindly not to bring his female visitors upstairs which is like the private part of my home . They should spend time at the sitting room downstdownstairs. Or should i tell his twin sister(she's not so nice tho I just take her excesses for peace to reign). They r both serving. Or I should tell my hubby that I don't like that so maybe he can talk to him. I guess he was doing that when he was staying with hubby as a bachelor but seriously this is now a home. And I already have a baby. Or am I just being unreasonable. Or shud I just ignore n keep the anger to myself... I just don't want in law wahala but I also need my happiness.
Some issues can never be avoided... you sound like a nice girl but it is obvious that they will soon turn you into a meanie with their own hands!!
DeleteTalk to your husband about it! I will be shocked if he knew and turned a blind eye...
What example is he showing your kid for pete's sake??? Children's formative years cannot be joked with biko!!
And make sure you watch your child with your eyes wide open.. I am sorry, there is no uncle or aunty in the jungle!! Child abuse is so real.... you must discuss your fears with your hubby please...
Make sure he realises that you will take the same stand if it were your brother!
I guess you should inform your hubby
DeleteMy dear, talk to ur hubby about it, let him know how u feel about this. Ur home is no longer a bachelor's crib, things like this have to stop. Its not adviceable since u have a kid who is watching, such should not be condoled.
DeleteSend in your story to Stella as chronicles
DeleteThank me immediately
Talk to hubby. If hubby remains silent, talk to the brother yourself. Stop seeing yourself as their mate. You are the elder bros wife and obviously more mature and responsible. A child is involved and the Childs life shouldn't be tampered with, by such influences. Be tough oh! Man wet get you get ones need a woman that can withstand. Be calm but firm.
DeleteDilation and Evacuation
ReplyDelete#1 Pls free that lady. I guess you're a Muslim that's why you're talking abt marriage.
ReplyDelete#2 Pls take the job, your sister even like u by offering u a job. If yr hubby isn't that type, no just introduce that kind relationshp to him o. Na beg I beg you.
commenting for the first time on SDK. Poser1, why not discuss with her first and take it from there.
ReplyDeleteStella this your nyash too big a beg just take style shift make I sit down.am sitting this one out today.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.
ReplyDeleteYou sound selfish and immature. You cut off communication from her after you travelled. Now you came back and decided to disturb the poor girl who i'm sure moved on with her life after you stopped answering her calls. Now you come up with this religion BS?
Since you knew this beforehand, why come back and raise her hopes? And it seems you are more interested in finding a way to break the news and break up with her than in finding a way to overcome the religious difference and take the next step. Will you be the first person to have married outside their religion?
You don't love this girl and you are not ready for marriage. Please set this little bird free.
Goodluck
Poster 1: I feel like maybe you are one of Jehovah's witnesses who are really into marrying "only in the Lord" and I even see why it makes sense.. For example, u marry a muslim and she wants to go to the mosque or she does certain things that within u do not feel right or u do not do as a christian. or say christmas for example, some religions do not celebrate christimas and your wife wants so bad yet you don't...that may strain a relationship because of conflict of ideologies...trust me i have seen it happen...or in the issue of funerals.. you follow your spouse to a funeral and they do certain rites that your conscience does not allow u partake in..it would be embarassing to your spouse of vice vera since u are supposed to be shpwing support in a lot of things..it may sound trivial and people will say if u love her, go for it BUT me i see it to be something to really consider..u see, the devil can use love to blind our eyes to things that may cause friction in a marriage in the future...It is not easy but I see and understand this marrying in the Lord issue..I really do
ReplyDeleteall these people telling u poster 1 that she will or should convert to your religion....u think it's that easy???especially w hen u have grown up in a certain religion and are devoted..hmm sit her down and talk to her and break the bonds..pray to God about it..He knows why he says to marry "only in the Lord". His commandments are for our own benefits my dear so talk to her about it and be polite yet firm...and stop calling her it may reopen old wounds..move on with your life and try and find a girl in your religion..btw u have not mentioned what religion u are oh..maybe there are fine BVs in your religion too
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I don't see any problem here. Is ur sister unhappy or complaining? Is her hubby unhappy or complaining? U said it urself that he worships her, yes? Pls mind ur business and grab that job she's offering with both hands and ur legs if possible. Everything is now a chronicle..RME!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, u r 24 yrs old... Chill pls. But incase u actually r set for marriage at ur age, then tell the babe already that u r incompatible cos of ur different religions. Tell her quick so she can hurt and get over it soon enough and move on.
Poster 2 I hv been trying to get in2 NLNG please can you connect me to your sister? Mayb she will help. NLNG doesn't encourage ppl frm same family so pls don't worry about the way she is acting.
ReplyDeleteReally hoping to hear frm u
Its not advisable to marry from another religion because there will be contrasting believe in almost every issue and the love u claimed 2 be joining u now would disappear after marriage and before you know it, things could go worse. It is better 2 stick with som1 with d same believe, it safes trouble from both sides. #2 accept d offer and 4get she is ur sister, wen u get 2 ur family house, continue your sisterhood
ReplyDeleteI meant allow.
ReplyDeletePoster1,are you a jehover witness?i know they don't marry from another religion it's very difficult but if u eventually got married to her let her start goin to ur church.as for your family i think ur happiness is what matters a lot so they should see reason to it.dnt be scared just sit her down and explain everything to her. Poster2 pls what's D n E?your sister should be proud outside that she is married or is she not wearing her wedding ring pls accept the job offer from her no time
ReplyDeleteNarration1 you sound fuuny,if you love her as u claim you will definitely secrifice evrything just to be with her,fight for love and dont allow religion to get on ur way.
ReplyDeleteNarration 2 u dont have problem just kindly accept the job and do what ur sister ask you to do
D and E is dilation and evacuation while D n C is dilation and curettage...D n E is actually preferred.
ReplyDeletePoster one, I no you are a JW. Kindly let d lady involved to mk her stand if she will become a witness or not.
ReplyDeleteI'm a witness myslf and I made a vow neva to marry any1 who is not one to avoid stories that touch. Its ur choice bro, but remenber bible"s injunctn to marry in d lord. If she is ready to become one, don't hesitate to kip d love going. @ d end of d day, its hw u mk ur bed u lie on it. All d best
STELLA!!! Dis ur stool ehn...laffing so hard walai.
ReplyDeleteP1. Haba, u've known dat u pple were 4m diff religions since, u pple shldnt have gotten so serz na. Sha tell her u don't tink marriage will work bcoz of ur religions...dis is Nigeria 4 crying out loud, evrybdy knows d issues/stories surronding religion#my opinion#. I'm sure she'l get over it with time...such a waste of 3yrs sha.
P2. So r u askin if u shld act like ur sister? Or u r sayin ur sister is way out of line? Pls sha take d job, she not stating u pple r siblings, doesn't change u pples blood connections...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 15:20. Your home is your home. even if they are your senior, know you are the owner of the house. Tell the foolish boy not to bring any girl that he will want to mess up your house with condom. Abeg put your foot down. Na you get the house. dont let any stupid inlaw (twins) dictate your happiness in your house. Show hubby the condom and lets see what he can do.
ReplyDeleteDis story tire me sha
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
All dis pple saying jehovah's witness and all, d poster said different religion not a different denomination pls
ReplyDeletePlus I aint Jehovah's witness biko
ReplyDeletePersonally I can't marry any1 outside my faith. If only Abraham & Solomon had good advisers.
ReplyDelete