Whats your story?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
MARRYING UNDER PRESSURE ALWAYS BACKFIRES?
Please Stella am in a confused marriage and i dont know if to quit.
I am tired of this bondage called marriage.
I am in my mid twenties and i got married two years ago,he is
ten years older than me and we dated for a year before he
proposed,Stella problem started immediately after our wedding.
Our first night no sex and i though he was tired,second night nothing,on the third night i woke him up to ask what the problem was but he said nothing
that he was just tired .it was on the fourth night we had sex and it
was two mins game, no foreplay,no romance and i was not happy but i kept
quiet ......
To cut the long story short we had sex thrice first month of our
marriage before i detected i was pregnant but since then till now no sex,if
i ask he will give me excuses that his not in good mood.
He does not sleep in the bedroom,no hugs,no intimacy infact am just realising he married me because of family pressure not love. Untop it i dey suffer
with my son,to eat is difficult have not been able to secure job
because i just graduated recently,his mother stays with us because she
has accomodation problem,i dont have privacy,the list is endless,i am
not a saint but these last two years i survived it by the grace of God.
I want to leave him but people might think it is because he is not
financially ok now.I am not happy and depression has been my friend
since the begining of my marriage .
I need advice on how to fix this situation.
AH!
...............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
MARRYING A KING AND THE THEORY OF IDOL WORSHIPPING.
Hi Stella, I just need advice from fellow bv's who have found themselves in my shoes.
I'm into a relationship with this awesome guy and we intend getting married
but the thing is,he is to be crowned the next king in his hometown after
the current king dies.
I'm a christian, he is too, but it seems like he thinks the kingship is his right and he says he might go for it when the time comes,he sounded serious about it.
I'm a bit worried, i see all these traditional rites they do as fetish and all these village gods require worship from the king or so, i don't know if this is a problem
or i'm just bothering myself over nothing.If i get married to a king, will it
affect my life, our lives as christians?
Will i have to be involved in village rituals?do they still do all these stuff in our villages or things have changed. I've tried asking but most of my relatives don't
know too,my parents don't seem disturbed by the idea of being married to
a king.If truly it's fetish, i want to know and then talk to him about it,he
listens most times.We both are yoruba.
I hope i get answers to help me do the best thing as i don't
think i'd do anything God frowns at.Thank you all.
Oriegwu!...Make i siddon read comments cos i want to know as well.
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Poster 1 ....So sorry for your plight... May God see you through.
ReplyDeletePoster2...All I know is that I know only one God!!!My creator... My refuge...mySheild!!!
Ok I dey red used an expired relaxer and it has damaged my hair aba people why?why sell fake product? *crying
DeleteAnd what advice have u given think and read through be for typing not to say nothing just bc u want to be ist to comment
DeleteMust u say rubbish in the name of tryin to reply ist!? Is dis meant to be an advice or what!!! If I were u id be thinkin hard on how to get stuff for schl! Kids of this days tho!
DeleteI have a BIG problem, right from my childhood, I av always had runny nose and my parents did everything they could to help me but it all proved abortive. All the drugs doctor gave me never worked for long. Due to financial constraint, I haven't been able to visit a doctor on my own for series of test. I don't know if there's anyone experiencing this, it has really made my life miserable. If someone accidentally pokes my nose, it starts running. I go everywhere with a handkerchief because little things trigger it despite the drugs I take daily.
DeleteI have used the internet regularly because of this but I haven't seen any final solution to the problem. I take drugs everyday of my life based on personal medication and yet, I still sneeze every morning even if my nose won't run all day. It also affects my breathing sometimes, I struggle to breathe. Please I really need help, not financially but possible solutions. Thanks for your lovely answers in advance. God bless everyone.
I have a BIG problem, right from my childhood, I av always had runny nose and my parents did everything they could to help me but it all proved abortive. All the drugs doctor gave me never worked for long. Due to financial constraint, I haven't been able to visit a doctor on my own for series of test. I don't know if there's anyone experiencing this, it has really made my life miserable. If someone accidentally pokes my nose, it starts running. I go everywhere with a handkerchief because little things trigger it despite the drugs I take daily.
DeleteI have used the internet regularly because of this but I haven't seen any final solution to the problem. I take drugs everyday of my life based on personal medication and yet, I still sneeze every morning even if my nose won't run all day. It also affects my breathing sometimes, I struggle to breathe. Please I really need help, not financially but possible solutions. Thanks for your lovely answers in advance. God bless everyone.
Hmmmm
DeletePoster 2 run oooo. There's a lot of fetish things that go on concerning the whole kingship thingy. Run for your life. In some traditions, the first son of the king even gets involved. Run oooo. Poster 1 sorry but if you're not happy leave. Life is too short to be miserable cz you're wondering what peopleight say or think
DeleteU still intend to. He neva propose and u are worry about whether or not he will b made king. And d current king is still alive n kicking. U get problem o. Smh
DeletePoster 1-I'm speechless
DeletePoster 2-I don't think rulers still do all them fetish(depending on the area though).My brother married a king's daughter and the father in-law aside being a king is a pastor in a redeem church so I think you should just do proper researches
**lululiscious**
Abeg o. They still do traditional rites before a king is coronated. There is colourful celebrations while the ceremoney is on going but rituals behind the scene i dont know the level of involvement of the wife of a king but there is no mistake about that of the traditional ruler
DeleteShe no get work that's why......if she got something doin, she no go sit down dey wait for the nxt available gist
DeleteHmmm poster 2. I would be worried too. And are u worried about the fetish aspect alone or the fact that he would be entitled more wives? Lol just kidding.
DeleteAnyway there's no short cut to it, you are either serving God or mammon. As with every traditional ruler they'll always have to be involved in the fetish service of their ancestors as of traditional rights.. Which many bible scholars have termed such practice as that of the old testament, and that Jesus came and erased it, therefore shouldn't be practiced by true Christians.
While I have also heard elders, especially the yorubas, argue that God is not against the practice of the ancient because he instituted it and that many shortcomings of some individuals in life is as a result of not carrying on with their family traditions. Contradiction per excellence
This argument is a tough one that cannot be won by anyone. So it is left for every discerning individual in this situation to follow their hearts. However, some still give to Caesar what is Caesar's by indulging in both their traditional rights as well as Jesus' practice. But can one serve God and mammon?
My conclusion on the matter is that, No true practicing christian will accept such in this day and age. Strictly my opinion.
Poster 1. Ah you are in a peculiar mess dear. Tell him to freaking divorce you if he is not attracted to you. What's with the suffering in silence at your age? C'mon leave that environment fast if you must, let anyone say as they wish. Nonsense
Poster with d runny nose ish, I think it's allergy rather than flu. Used to suffer that a lot, just found out last year it's allergy, treated it with anti allergy drug and I have been Ok since then. XxxbarbieXxx
DeletePoster 1. ..back date chronicles and choose one, your answer is there.
Deleteposter2, Oba ritual is as alive as you and I. In some cases, the intending Oba eats the skin of the late Oba...This is done in the west..It is the tradition, and that's the only way he can be crowned...I know this for a fact....Pele.
4real Stella, ur chairs r epic! Poster! Find somethng doing 1st, whr u wan run go? Try n get somethng doing, if situation doesn't mprove den jump ship @poster 2 abeg mek I hear, goo ask d reigning king as u noo wan b queen, mek I noo c u for singles n mingles
ReplyDelete@poster 1: are sure he is not gay??? Just saying....
DeleteHow ur sex life wen u guys were dating????
Opt out if your are not happy.....
@poster2 :you are on ur own,don't know what to say in ur case.
Poster 1. I think your man is not into women, I mean he might be gay or he has someone out der who he wud love to marry but cud not due to some reasons so he settled with you.
Deleteposter 2. U could do ur homework on wat his tradition is like, so u can have knowledge of wat is to come. This will help u know weda to stay or to leave.
Poster 1: seriously I think ur man is gay. He just married u for cover up, tell ur mum and sisters about it and make them understand u ve to leave that he'll u call a marriage. I wish u all the beat and may God give u on ur own real husband.
DeletePoster 1 you already answers the question yourself. He isn't financially ok. That is d problem. Most times when men are struggling with finances their sex life dies. If he truly loves you, stick with him and pray God blessed him. You don't know how he feels not being able to give u a good life. Put yourself in his shoes. Gracias.
DeleteCheiii...lemme sit down first
ReplyDeletechronicles...it is well
DeletePoster 1. You don enter one chance o. you married a sadist. I know them. Choi. If u want to be happy in this life for a day, just pack Ya loadz!
DeletePoster 2. Utilize this mat I have made available for your resting purpose.
_______________
What am I saying? Gaan rest abeg.
Maybe our Pussy is smelling or the guy is an Homosexual.
DeletePoster 2. Lemme read comments as well because I want to know more
"Our pussy smelling" ke?? You and whose? Lol
DeleteLol. ..sisi eko. ..add y"...lol
DeleteBwahahahaha........Sisi Eko biko no tear my belle jhor!!
Delete...but e reach to ask jare....
Lmao @You and whose...
Poster 1- just pray about it b4 u take a decision
ReplyDeletePoster 2- he won't disclose to u the ritual involvement of everything so follow ur mind.
IHN always raise my hope. God bless you stella
ReplyDeleteHmm just passing
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteThe question is ; do you love him?
If "yes", then please try to work it out with him, like talking to your Pastor or an elder whose got his ears.
Trust me, there is nothing out there.
Poster 2
If he becomes king, not only will he do rituals but also human sacrifice.
To crown it all, he will now marry another woman/women .
Well, you will be iyawo agba or queen or som'n but i don't know where you will put Christianity in that mix.
God luck to you both.
Gbam
DeleteStory of my life.
DeleteMarriage turned me into a virgin.
He will not come near me except when we want to try for a baby and now that we are done with having kids, common hug sef i no dey see.
2013 was the last meet and i have given up.
Only difference between poster and i is that my hubby is caring and takes good care of the kids and i.
Still deciding to leave or not to leave...
P1: well this is it, try find something doing try to start saving wether na 100 naira a day, it would ge somewhere till you can find your foot. And may God guide you through.
DeleteP2: wooo, me I tthink it entails dem following tradition o. Most of them do attend christain things o but I think that idol worshipping thing is still in their blood o, especially Yoruba land
Delete@Trust me, there is nothing out there.
....nwa your head is there. Some think there is something outside but when she goes out there, she would wish she never did. Madam poster, work out your marriage, no perfect man out there ooo
Abeg abeg. What's with the patch patch? Call pastor, talk to him? Like he's not conscious of how she's hurting? Did the pastor propose to her or he did? Who forced him? One single word of prayer I will not waste on this situation if all she is saying is true ooo...cos na only one side we hear. why frustrate your wife like this? Action and not prayer. Prayer ko...
DeleteStella i need this chair,let me sit and read comment!@poster2 olu of warri came out like 2yrs ago he said his heart goes for Jesus n that he wants to stop the idol worshipping in his palace the whole of isekiri community refuse!@poster 1 ur hubby might be gay but he does not want to open up forcing a wife on him would not help
ReplyDeleteIs Poster 2 Dolapo Oni?
ReplyDeleteThis is really not necessary, even if it's the wrong name. Advise her and don't put her name out for all to see. Apply the first word in your blog ID.
DeleteWhat if she is? You dont have to mention her name here. Haba!
DeleteAm thinking so too
DeleteMust you call her out? For your advice and vamoose biko
DeleteNO, it's not Dolapo.
DeleteThe Ife Obaship is rotated amongst 3 or 4 families.
After the death of the present "iku Baba Yeye", the crown moves to another family. A Sijuwade cannot smell the crown in the next hundred years.
Moreover, Dolapo's fiance is not in the scheme of things. He has older brothers.
Goldscent omo agba!!!!
DeleteU are so on point!!!
Poster's 1:
ReplyDeleteYour horseband is gay.
Forget what people will say.
First, carry out your investigation.
I hope you know Stella's style of direct inquiry won't work here.
If you plan to leave, plan before you leave.
Get a source of livelihood first and then make your move.
Poster 2:
I was going to ask which part of Nigeria he's from but you supplied that fact.
You are so living in the past.
There are so many Christian Obas now. They don't engage in the fetish stuff.
The Oba rules as he deems fit. No one can force him to partake in rituals. There are priests saddled with those responsibilities.
If he becomes Oba, tie your gele and proudly take your "oloori" seat.
Yea..poster 2..go ahead and marry your man..he is going to be a king not a rituals...support him and help him serve his people
DeleteRitualist#
DeleteMost gays get married and stop pretend sight mot be that his gay
DeleteYou are very correct Goldscent. The oba of ikorodu that died last year was a christian.
DeleteThings have changed now. You dictate how you want things to be done.
You don't have any problem. Pls go ahead and marry him.
The Oba of ikorodu that they needed 14people to bury with??? Christian or not, they still do fetish things
DeleteOba Tejuoso is a staunch Christian now. And he's having a tough time with the king makers who accused him of ridiculing their deity years ago, when he went into the shrine and dislodged every icon represented there. It was very tough. He was cursed and he has been suffering for it in silence.
DeleteSome people said that they have nothing against him becoming born again. But that why did he have to ridicule their ancestors in such manner? They swore he would suffer for it.
My question is thus. Did God equip Oba Adedapo Tejuoso for such a mission? Did God ask him to dislodge the deity or simply accept him as Christ and impact his subjects accordingly? The answer is NO
Even pastors who are called have areas of special anointing. Some evangelism, others deliverance etc. I love that Tejuoso has embraced Christ, oh what a joy it is. But do not go over board if Christ did not send u on such a mission. That's the implication of seating on a traditional throne and prophesing Christ. You either denounce your throne or leave others to continue with their tradition until God Himself is ready to emancipate them, as the case may be.
It's and intricate venture @ Poster 1. Be wise
Eka, if you believe that bull, you will believe anything.
DeleteDo you have a list of the 14 people who followed the Oba's corpse?
Did u just say Oba of Ikorodu????????Dont even go there. Ikorodu is extremely fetish,yea i said so. The Oba died and they were looking for 14heads to bury with him......not goat head ooo,,human heads! and because of that an emergency curfew was declared.
DeleteAs weird as it sounds, they still do all their "oro" at specific intervals and u dare not go out if u live within the restricted areas.... They even go as far as announcing it on tv and radio stations and if u think ur company or boss will not take d "oro" as an excuse for ur absence at work, then you have to leave ikorodu before it starts and put up somewhere till they finish. And all these happened while the "Christian Oba" was alive too.
Did u just say Oba of Ikorodu????????Dont even go there. Ikorodu is extremely fetish,yea i said so. The Oba died and they were looking for 14heads to bury with him......not goat head ooo,,human heads! and because of that an emergency curfew was declared.
DeleteAs weird as it sounds, they still do all their "oro" at specific intervals and u dare not go out if u live within the restricted areas.... They even go as far as announcing it on tv and radio stations and if u think ur company or boss will not take d "oro" as an excuse for ur absence at work, then you have to leave ikorodu before it starts and put up somewhere till they finish. And all these happened while the "Christian Oba" was alive too.
Sleekreek, you totally missed the point.
DeleteNo Oba can stop rituals and other appeasement of gods.
But an Oba can decide not to partake in those activities.
Afterall there are priests constutionally empowered for such.
Which 14 heads?
Abeg those are cheap lies used to rein in the masses and put fear into them.
Or you know 14 people missing after the burial?
Goldscent,I beg to agree with U.
DeleteA first class Oba not involved in fetish pratices???????
I ve been privy to two coronations and I know how it's done........
D king to be is presented to owners of d Land and I mean d witches,wizard,hunters,farmers etc etc........
He comes before them bowing and paying homage to me and trust me it's a fearful thing even to d intending Kabiyesi......
He continues d greetings till he rnters d strong room where he meets gods and goddesses of d Land and he is initiated with blood
and fire!!
....Away from d strong room,ge blazes back into room filled d owners of d land(witches and co)they know that d same timid man that came before them earlier isn't d same man before them....
With his blazing....spitting fire and drunken with blood.......d witches,wizards,hunters a ti be,a ti be lo.......bows down and all chant Kabiyesi ooo......d eulogies starts.........
Poster 2,Ur husband to be will not be d same person ooo.....so jejely begin find Ur husband for front.
Sleek reek,as soon as an Oba dies,they don't announce immediately till they every materials needed for d burial is complete.
DeleteHow many headless bodies do U see littered on d roads??????
D former Alake of Egbaland that was claiming born again Christian what happened after his death?????shebi him wife wan claim corpse, she even involved Adeboye that him that one tell say make she give ceaser wetin belong to ceaser.
I get Umu ada meeting this morning jare....
Iyalode, Mama oooooo!
DeleteAs an Iyalode, I agree with you.
Only a woman with your office could be privy to all these.
You got it well.
I agree it's more difficult for a first class not to be involved but it's possible. I know of one. His uncle who is an Ifa priest did the rituals on his behalf.
Poster's fiance is not likely to be gunning for Ist class Obaship.
Otherwise, she won't even be here asking these questions.
She would be arranging her trunks in readiness.
Poster 1, women in their mid 20s should not marry a man after just 1 year. You should have spent more time dating and getting to know him and also developing your own financial status. And also note that the same societal pressure you suspect got him to marry you is the same that is making you stay in a marriage with a broke gay man and his mother.
ReplyDeleteUna self, she should not marry after 1yr of dating??? Na wa oh, if she holds for 2yrs now, una go call am ringbearer
DeleteHahaha good point
DeleteP1...Your husband might be gay ooooo
ReplyDeletePoster 2: not all kings partake in the rituals. At least I know about 2 who are pastors in RCCG and fervent for God. You just need to be deeply rooted in Christ.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: will share Stellas chair and wait for comments too
Poster 1 you ought to have tasted b4 use..this is like SDK anthem here.Haba!!
ReplyDeletePoster2 Na serious Nollywood movie,u don't wnt to be the next queen?
Anyways,I don't think there's any thing like sacrifice and all involved..you can still ask around about that particular town,gather info ist b4 concluding
Goodluck!
It's not SDK anthem.
DeleteDon't indoctrinate us!!!
It's fornication!!!
And FYI, some people can pretend to get you and then change I'm marriage. That is why we all need good.
Haba
Which kain SDK anthem???
Aunty number one...marriage is for better for worse, he is nt abusing u, u dated up to a year n u shud hv known some of the things u listed, 2nd Aunty go n ask ur hubby village people cos all I knw about kingship is from nollywood
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeletePlease don't leave. Not yet. Marriage is not always a bed of roses m dear.
You guys should try to resolve your issues somehow. Remember it's for better for worse so this is your 'worse'.
Try to find out why your hubby doesnt sleep with you. Is he gay? Is he having an affair? Where you guys ever in love? Is something weighing him down heavily?
How is your hygiene? The list goes on.
Agreed he has no right to starve you of sex, but please try to get to the root of the matter first before deciding to quit ok.
Conji doesn't kill. LOL
#kidding
Prayere,Communion, understanding, tolerance and sacrifice are the keys to a successful marriage. If yo try all and it doesn't work. Please involve someone he respects like his pastor or mum (depending on your relationship with her) or a marriage expert.
Love making is very important in marriage cos it bonds couples.
All the best dear.
#hugs
Poster 2
You have to dig deep to find out if there are fitish practices involvedin his village.
Do your homework well to avoid stories that touch in the future.
In my town, there is none involved. Our Igwe is a practising Christian.
All the best dear.
Poster 1:take genny's advice. And pls marriage is for better or for worst
DeletePoster 1:take genny's advice. And pls marriage is for better or for worst
DeleteNarrative one: Why did you marry a poor man?
ReplyDeleteNarrative two: Read narrative one and see the consequences of marrying a poor man.
You Holy pass Jesus? Jesus say give Caesar Caesar's and give God God's. Abeg marry the bobo and go your church jare.
I have seen traditional rulers in Shiloh. Maybe through you, he can change things in that community. Abi you no want to be Queen? Na wa for you oh!
Not all kings are rich, u know?
DeleteJayEm so u typed all dt bcoz I was joking abt u guys vying 4 d position of Queen on dz blog huh? Does having the title of d queen of dz blog means anythg? Is dt how serious u take this blog visits? Or is it bcoz u are bloggy's fan? Hv I ever insulted u here b4? Babes u no try @ all. I don't insult pple online, so imma let it slide.
Delete#one love
Chai JayEm!! Make una free Easah ooh..lolzz,everyone's body dey "hoit"
DeleteI guess after his little issue with my dearest BL all his comments will be scrutinised..cut him some slack,will ya?? Madonna mia!
Taaaaa! Don't mention my name there. Maintain your lane o Eesah!
DeleteI saw the insult on that post too o. Jayem why are u insulting my blog boo na? The way I like u, you want fuck up. Take your time girl!
DeleteEesah, if it was a joke...imma let it slide also. I be don prepare say I go continue under all your comments for atleast one week. Lmao.
DeleteOya *hug* don't press my boobies oh!
It's got nothing to do with Bloggie, don't drag her into this.
Ciao! Ci sentiamo domani.
Buona notte.
Lmao.
DeleteBloggy, JayEm,
I no dey yesterday.
Una don cause commotion?
When I read and catch up, I will know the causer.
I'm just surprised it involves Easah.
N2: dear poster, you just have have to be prepared to carry the responsibilities of being the wife of a king. Its not just the fetish traditional rites, most times a king is influenced to marry more than one wife cos his new status permits it; can you handle that?
ReplyDeleteLet the wise ones speak! General's wife and co, over to you :-)
ReplyDeleteN by whose calculation or what parameters did u use to arrive @ d wise ones?
DeleteHmmmmmmm...
ReplyDeleteLemme just read.
poster 1, put your foot down real hard & consistently voice out on every situation you find disagreeable, demand a change & throw in an ultimatum to let him know you mean business.
ReplyDeletepls visit my blog...
Liflblog.WordPress.com
LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE EVERYDAY!
Hmm anon this your recipe, i no sure o. Sounds like adding fuel to already burning fire. Again i might be wrong, what do i know.
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteNo marriage is without challenges..Most people have issues of infertility,dirty partners,mean and stingy partners,unfaithful partners,money issues.etc
The way you handle the problems you have in your home will help at the long run.. I believe quitting should not come in here yet. We have women that have come here to tell us how their vaginas smell like shit holes,but their husbands give them head!!! A man faithful and loving enough stuck it through the dead fish smell right?? So why can't we have a little patience?
If the lack of money and the issues of sex are the toughest challenges you are having now,madam,you can make this work.
Remember that most men just are unhappy when broke..some just can't even think of sex... but two years is too long for him to wallow in pity.. have you even talked to this man?like real talk? Not assumptions. Do you know a little about your finances? When there is money,lack of it, and the cause?
Getting to know him,having that midnight heart to heart sincere talk might be the key to unlocking the lack of sexual appetite... men do not like it when we start questions with accusations and this defensive tone...If it is a health issue,you need to know,there are solutions. If his sex preference is opposite,let him tell you so you walk with your child!!!
Lastly,where you are might seem tough until you test another place. Make it work if the issues are not as deep as I think. Make 2015 the year you frantically look for a job dear,you will still need to cope if you leave him,right?
Marriage is really sweet,it has its ups and downs..but when there is genuine love...and understanding,you find it really beautiful..even though right now hormones are making me bite..lmao!!!! take care dearrrr
Gbam
Delete@iphie, 1000 likes to ur comment
Delete@ Iphie I always look forward to ur comments. I am a married woman too and I see you are full of wisdom. Keep up the good work.
Delete*smiles*
DeleteOh Iphie!
Stella abeg shift for me. This two narrations pass my level.
ReplyDeleteChai!!! This your chair na 1 in town. Let me wait for comments too.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 1- it's unfortunate. I wonder why anyone should marry out of pressure.it iss satanic to pressure anyone into marriage and you who agreed to it is insane. The african problem is 'what will people say' but if he was bouyant before wedding and after wedding lost his appetite for sex and money, well marriage they say is for better for worst innit? Babe please look for a job or start small business. Stop sitting down and brooding over your level of existence. It won't solve any problem.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2- Yes be you christian, muslim or chrismus. when your husband becomes king he will give to ceasar what is ceasar.infact before he becomes that king a lot of demonic things will be done. The coronation will involve those ancestral spirit. They will tell you tradition is tradition. There is no two ways about that one. It's for sure
Sexy F
Hi sexy F
DeletePoster one: did u not notice all dis wen u people were dating? Have always said dis....if u notice something while ur dating dat u no u can't manage in marriage u beta leave d person cuz dating is mini marriage....i can't tell u to leave or stay u have to make d decision ...but cum to think of it don't u think uve done something to ur Hubi ?how will any rite thinking person just stay and start acting funny ......plz sit him down and both of u Shud have a heart to heart talk... tell him wat u don't like dat he is doing...divorce or separation is not d best u can work it out...most importantly pray to God
ReplyDeletePoster two:hmmmmm definitely a king must practice his culture and some cultures are fetish......so if ur getting marid to him b prepared to do d fetish tinz cuz u will b d kings wife and as such u must partake
Forget all this did u notice it while dating.
DeleteThings change, circumstances change, people change.
My hubby could duck for Africa while we were dating but now that he's older, he's piped low and doesn't hustle sex and girls like before.
So experiences during courtship sometimes don't follow.
Poster your husband is gay and he only used u as a cover up. Even if he doesn't love u, not touching u for almost 2yrs says it all. Biko waka
ReplyDeleteHahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahagahahahahgahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha stellllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooooo where the heck did this seat come from?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...you are something!!*smh*!!
ReplyDeleteNo 1; you married cos of pressure too,stop blaming only the guy in that aspect.
ReplyDeleteNo 2; you guys shld get married first na. And hope you know there is possibility of him taking more wives if he is eventually crowned.
Aeegurl...
poster1 just be patient God will do it for you. post2 follow your heart.
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteYou claim to have dated this guy for a year,didn't you see the signs?You are still young and fresh(that's if your body is still firm),if you continue to be in a marriage where you are not happy,you will age faster or even die of depression and sadness.Don't listen to what people would say,flee now before he will impregnate you again and it won't be aesy to leave him by then.His mum is even living with you guys to monitor both of you and its not fair.Go back to your parents,get a job and divorce him.He doesn't love you.For now,if he manages to sleep with you,take birth control pill secretly.You have to plot your way out.Goodluck.
Poster 2
You sound too religious for my liking,are you a saint?Every tribe has their own customs and traditions and churches try not to get involved.Go to his village without his knowledge and ask questions about their traditional rites,if you are comfortable with the answers ,encourage him and stick with him,if not,quit and stop discouraging this young man from claiming what is rightfully his.He hasn't married you yet and you are complaining already.
Nawa for this your advice
DeleteWow! That seat is so brownish and lovely. I think I'll also make do with it because I don't know what advice to give. Its well with both posters
ReplyDeleteCan't you just be yourself for once. Trying to be extra nice. Well, it is paying you.
DeleteWow! That seat is so brownish and lovely. I think I'll also make do with it because I don't know what advice to give. It is well
ReplyDeleteNN1: i feeel your pain, it is well
ReplyDeletemake i read comments jare, some issues pass me.
Please click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips
N2, Unless the title he's going for is "the King of pop", fetish things will be involved. You can tell yourself that it won't but when you become the Olori, you'll know whatsup.
ReplyDeleteN1- E-hugs darling, the good lord will see you through.
ReplyDeleteMake I follow stella read comments biko...dis one pass me.
ReplyDeleteVivian, those brows are on fleek!
Deleteif u can't stand d heat in kitchen, get out! Snoop b4 u marry cos Snoop has been saving lives.
ReplyDeleteYes oh!Snooping has been saving lives since 1515.lol
DeleteU have always been team snoop..
Deleteposter 1,its high time you sit your husband down and talk to .marriage is not a door die affair abeg.which kin punishment be that joor. poster 2,i know a chief who is born again.he has no hand in those fetish stuff.he is a christian and everyone knows.plan with your man.as christians,you can change the way things are done.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, do you have anything that can sustain you if u quit ur marriage now?
ReplyDeleteYou're in and I won't advise you quit, except you're facing abuse.
When u say u dated him, did u mean the telephone "hello-how-are - you? " kind of dating.
So u didn't nack him before saying "yes" in d presence of God and man?
And u didn't notice his uninterested attitude while dating?
For all team no - xes - before - marriage, come and advise this woman o.
Poster, try and make the most of your marriage.
GBY.
She's facing emotional abuse already. Hian
DeleteGbege!....abeg make I read comments :O
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteU married a man 10yrs older, n dia wz no advantage to it?
No good sex, No money n yet no love(forced marriage)?
Are u nigerian? Cos ur own done done oo.
If u know his lack of funds wz after e married u, aunty I advice u to stick wit dis man during his tuff moment.
P2
Hmmmn, @ will I be involved in village rituals? Will ur fiance's kingship affect ur life?
My dear na oly ajilekege(yorubawood diety) go fit ans dese Q?
Pz kindly make available dis items, a black goat head, very dried stock fish, a tin of egusi, red oil, fire wood, kerosene n matches.
Ajilekege NEVA SPEAKS ON EMPTY STOMACH.
I await ur reply in d nxt IHN.
Una fit ask silly Qs sha!
Sebi u sebi u sed u r a xtain? What apend to not being equally yoked wit unblivers, oh! d need to be a lolo/olori supersedes ur love for christ bah?
Hahahah.... what won't I read today?..
DeleteLol
Poster 2, my phone battery is empty, and my papa no go gree make i on gen this afternoon to charge fone.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I can't advise right now.
Let me read comments
ReplyDeleteNarr1 please pack ur loads and go/leave. D reasons y some ladies stay in an abusive relationship is because of d good SEX shuooo no sex no money in fact he mama come join una too (nothing wrong with dat though) please ,please ,please leave abegi. I won't say he's gay because there re some people who are born dat way, they're mostly common in white men, dey don't ave gf dey don't Marry and dey ain't gay all dey do is WORK all dia life...... imagine d nonsense, no romance nothing nothing hian babe u try oooo.....
ReplyDeleteLol...funny advice
Delete2nd narratives;
ReplyDeleteYes kings are fetish....I have never seen a good born again Christian that is a king...another thing is most of them marry plenty wives....
Go ahead and marry him if you can endure all these things...the ball is in your court....
First narrative;
Am sorry marriage is for better and for worse so don't even think of divorce....
Am sure if he is rich,you won't be complaining of his low sex drive....
Instead of looking for a job or a business to be doing,you are here yarning dust....
Most men have low sex drive when they are broke or have something bothering them....
You should be praying for him not planning on leaving him...
Linda?
DeleteIs this you
The you last year would ask her to leave her broke stingy husband. Hian
People change indeed
Oriegwu
Fake Linda, the Linlin I know will offer to be her lesbo partner/link her up or better still tell her to touch herself and also teach her how to get a small rich boy to hang her on the wall and puck the hell out of her if she is beautiful. Am out
DeleteNarr2) hummmm it won't affect ur believe as a Christmas. Be ready to prepare dat egusi soup and "portage" for d gods......if u know u cannot please back off ......its a traditional thing and nothing u can do to change it.
ReplyDeletePoster. 1.i never marry b4. So I don't know what to tell you.but I bliv u Ppl bin do courtship in d one year of dating,didnt u see all dis signs or was it a no sex courtship.poster 2.what can I say,u need to do more digging deep so u won't find urslf whr u wil b serving two masters
ReplyDeletePoster. 1.i never marry b4. So I don't know what to tell you.but I bliv u Ppl bin do courtship in d one year of dating,didnt u see all dis signs or was it a no sex courtship.poster 2.what can I say,u need to do more digging deep so u won't find urslf whr u wil b serving two masters
ReplyDelete#2...don't worry,he'l just eat d heart of his predecessor(we dnt know if it's a myth or fact),no need to worry...enjoy royalty n maintain ur christian faith
ReplyDeletesme ppls advice sha... hahahhahahahaha
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my world @ poster 1 . At least u got pregnant immediately, I had to drug my hubby in 2013 when I was ovulating. Thank God I got pregnant and now have a child. I have accepted it, I had to build myself not to enjoy sex cos I for don dey fuck outside Tey tey. Getting set for drugging him again for baby number 2. After that, I am done. Thank God I have a good job that can cater for me and d kids in future. I don't even know what a good fuck is anymore after living like this for 5 years. Mscheeeeeew. Mrs A non.
ReplyDelete@ anon 16:17! I guess na joke be this! For what naa! Any man that tries that with me is dead on arrival. I can't deal mehn!
DeleteKatty
D queen is back confirm,,in linda eze's voice *yarning dust*
ReplyDeleteD queen is back confirm,,in linda eze's voice *yarning dust*
ReplyDeletePoster 2 ur fiance hav an option wen it comes to traditions n sacrifices cuz it can decide nt to be part of it bt it cant stop d whole town from doin tradition unless his from a remote village like oba osogbo stopin osun osogbo festival,u know it cant be possible.I tink u shld be concern of him takin more wives afta coronation cuz dt is d major tin n know fully well dt immediately he became d king u as olori wil hav notin much to say on d town issue cuz olori are ceremonial name dis days.Som1 mention dolapo oni name,dolapo oni ko dolapo ola ni,who told u his fiance wil be king in ife.
ReplyDeleteSDK married women alwz be like... Shud I leave him?
ReplyDeletePoster 1: if I remember correctly, u swore b4 God and the faithful on d day of ur wedding... 'For better, for worse' so pray God to c u tru!
Poster2: Yoruba ppl do juju too much
@P1. Sorry. U can't move unless you are financially independent. I seriously hope ur hubby is not gay. Or is it that his libido is so low that he is embarrassed to have sex. This is the disadvantage of not testing the goods before marriage. I seriously hope he changes. You don't even have privacy in your home that's not even helping matters. @P2. There is no way that a king will not perform sacrifice.
ReplyDeletePoster No 1 : should leave the marriage..No one deserves to be unhappy..
ReplyDeletePoster No 2 :Should ask Ezewanyi Group of Companies or look out for her comment .She is a Queen.
POSTER 1: I am sorry for what you are going through, unfortunately marriage is not a shopping trip where if a purchase doesn't suit you, you can easily return it or toss it aside.
ReplyDeleteApart from cases of severe abuse, I always suggest one works through all marriage stresses and problems. It is for better, for worse.
You need counselling - you and your husband. And I don't mean from nosy relatives either. Both of you should seek a real relationship/marriage counsellor and talk with him/her.
You will have to put your foot down to get him to do this with you. Talk to him and tell him how unhappy you are. Also keep your eyes open (not snoop o), just keep your eyes open and check to see if something is amiss with him.
Best of luck, dear.
*POSTER 2: Of course all these traditional rulers get involved in diabolical/fetish sacrifices. It is part of the whole deal. And if you are not prepared to be serving God and mormon at same time, then this is when you decide.
That is my take.
Good luck.
Poster 2 not only faithish things happening he will marry as many wife's as he pleases the question is are u ready?
ReplyDeletePoster No 2 : Just read again..you are not even married to him.
ReplyDelete'We intend getting married'.
Hope he has proposed.So that all the advice will not be in vain.
You can walk away.Its obvious he wants to be a king.
Who doesn't?
N2, apart from the fetish things involved in being a king, I really think you should also put into consideration the chances of having 6 co wives or more (laughs)...in the future especially if you are not the type that can tolerate polygamy. Then that should be the first in your list of worries when deciding whether or not to marry him.
ReplyDeletePoster1 na homosexual u marry o. The writings r on d wall. E just use u cover face make world people no suspect am. I don talk my own...
ReplyDelete*YAWNS*
ReplyDeleteNo1 no comments
ReplyDeleteNo2 omo I no fit marry king ooo yoruba will say ilesanmi dun ju oye lo
I will share your seat stella.
ReplyDeletemarriage is for better for worse ,so people should stay put in marriage when they arent happy ,oriegwu,
ReplyDeletebecause they came to this world to suffer ,marriage that has spill doom from beginning ,nne pack your load and leave ,his mind is somewhere else ,he either have somebody he has in mind before you came along ,or his gay .
poster 2.Follow your heart.
Poster 2..You have to make ur findings about that town/village before you conclude. MOST yoruba kings are fetish(that's d bitter truth) though these days, civilization has taken over and we are no longer in the dark age. But whether your man is involved in the fetish stuff as a king or not, there are still some CULTURAL BELIEFS/TRADITION that they still practise that you(and even ur guy) may see as backward/ancient/irritating BUT because of his position as a king, he and his household(you invlusive) MUST do it. I'll give you an example : sometimes last year, we heard/read about a couple,though not legally married yet, that the culture/tradition of the guy's hometown demanded that their daughter be circumcised. The lady fled with her daughter(about 2yrs old) and the guy's family,the indigenes of that town and d guy himself all threatened the lady's family to produce the lady and her daughter cos they believed her family knows her whereabouts. Now,this guy and his family are Christians and well educated BUT they say it is TRADITION and it MUST be done despite all the awareness about female genital mutilation and all and in this age and time....just last year ooo(2014). It's a town in either Ondo or Ekiti state(cant remember now). Will you be able to cope with things like this? Your hubby may not partake in all d rituals and all but it will still be done in his territory and with HIS CONSENT.
ReplyDeleteYou should also know that the probability of him having more WIVES is very high too. If he doesnt chase them himself, some ijoyes/oloyes will just be like "a fe fi omo wa ta kabiyesi lore" and he MAY not be able to say NO. Its a gift and should be accepted. Are you ready for all these?? Think well oo, if u no get "shock absorber",,hmm.....ma te ri si o, ki ori e ma lo pa.
Poster 1, u mean u have only had sex 3 times in 2 yrs??? Ahhhh....*trying to close mouth manually,, the automatic closing no work with ur story* I dont know what to say, cos saying you should speak with him may not work since there's no sort of intimacy btw both of you.
Let me read comments from others. God help you!
Eyaaaah! God will help both of you in ur decisions poster 1 and 2.
ReplyDeleteSweet Jay.
Udo diri both poster 1 & 2
ReplyDeleteUdo diri both poster 1 & 2
ReplyDeletePoster 2, your fears are very valid. The truth is, marrying into a royal lineage comes with practices and responsibilities that are deeply fetish. With all the ancestral ties and covenants that they do for themselves and their community. I highly doubt that those who claim to be christian or born again can truly let go of the obligations of the role. Given the general hypocrisy in this nation where on Sunday people serve God then run to the herbalist for medicine, you may think like someone said give to Caesar but it all boils down to your faith in God. Are you ready to serve God and mammon? Are you willing to leverage your faith for worldly wealth and power? And don't assume you will not be a party to rituals and sacrifices oh. Just keeping it 1000. It's up to you
ReplyDeleteIs that Linda Eze the original queen and boss of this blog abeg if na u welcome back.
ReplyDeleteHappy xmas
Happy new year
Happy every every
Just reading comments
ReplyDeleteNa comment me dey read o
ReplyDelete#1, IF, I say IF you think you will have a good support system from your family, siblings,and friends, until you get something doing, then leave him! No sex! No money! No privacy! Haba! He has no conscience? But if you know that you won't get financial and moral support from your parents, siblings and close friends until you get a job, then you have no choice than to stay in the marriage and work things out. Since your MIL is living with you, find excuses to go out on job hunting and be leaving the child with her. Arrange to go for apprenticeship in any skill you like, all in a bid to get out of the house everyday, so that you can be interacting with people everyday and who knows, an opportunity might open. As per sex, get a toy and satisfy yourself in front of him whenever you like!
ReplyDeleteWish you the best.
#2, All kings follow their customs and traditions! It will be done on his behalf, even if he refuses to be present there or do it. And his name will be called in every prayer made by the palace priest. Every custom and traditions of every tribe always make covenant with their gods or goddess, which is passed unto generations. So as long as he agrees to become king, he has automatically signed his agreement....its like clicking 'accept' when creating a google account or installing an app.
Best of luck.
Nitty.
www.thenitty-gritty. com
This kind chair sef, Stella I commot cap for u mbok! Now unto the matter...
ReplyDelete#1- sorry to say bt u didn't do ur home work well while dating, so now all u need do is find urself a job and keep busy. Then look for a way to reach ur hubby, find out the things he likes and use them to ur advantage.
#2- sorry no comment
#Uyo JobSeeker#
If i must marry a older man,It must be for the good reasons like being rich,caring and good in bed but unluckily for you your hubby is neither none...You can remain in that marriage because you don't want to be seen as a bad wife or leave and be happy. Narr2, marry that man.In this age in time,kings are not that fetish again.
ReplyDeleteWhen I hear stories like this, I decide to dive more into my single life and enjoy it more and more each day! Just incase I fall into a devices trap, at least I will have a strong career and colourfuldrinks memories of how I rocked life.
ReplyDeleteDear poster 1- hmm.... I don't know what to say. But I value my happiness more than anything in this world. Even if he won't have sex and all... Why neglect you and the baby? That's wickedness!
Poster 2- there are many Christian obas now oh! Should he be the next king, he should state his stands clearly so all can be informed. My dad's friend built a church in the palace upon his crowning. And he was the first ever to do that in his hometown. It is well.
Dupe and bk I see you ... Mscheeww
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Pls leave that marriage before you will die of depression, pls don't mind what people will say Poster 2. Pray to God and he will give a God fearing man that u will marry and still worship him
ReplyDeletePoster 2:donf give up on a marriage that hasn't been given the time to prove it's self, these things you mentioned are things that can change, so work on your marriage don't throw in the towel... Its well
ReplyDeletePoster 2 pls look before you leap, apart from worshiping idols, you should consider how many wives he will have, the part of culture in your home and the word of God, like will you be free to dress as u please, will you been given room to be yourself or you will be asked to be someone you are not, there are so many things to consider and you have to do your homework very well to avoid stories that touch, start by talking to you mother in law to be.... Good luck
Poster 2:donf give up on a marriage that hasn't been given the time to prove it's self, these things you mentioned are things that can change, so work on your marriage don't throw in the towel... Its well
ReplyDeletePoster 2 pls look before you leap, apart from worshiping idols, you should consider how many wives he will have, the part of culture in your home and the word of God, like will you be free to dress as u please, will you been given room to be yourself or you will be asked to be someone you are not, there are so many things to consider and you have to do your homework very well to avoid stories that touch, start by talking to you mother in law to be.... Good luck
Make I join una sidon read comments
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2, Ella mo Pele o. Get married and let us rest. The while world already know you are getting married to a prince. Make we hear word.
ReplyDeletePoster one send ur bank details . *yinmu* .
ReplyDeletePoster 1...thank God u are graduate...get a job or somthing doin..this wil help ease up the stress u are going tru now.
ReplyDeletePoster2....Story for the Okija shrine gods,if u dont want to be an Idol worshipper den u might have to think twice U a Yoruba lady trust me hardly do u see any traditional ruler that is not involved in ritual before ascending the throne.Hear this!!!!..HE MUST EAT THE HRT OF THE PAST KING BEFORE BECOMING THE PRESENT KING.And they will not tel u bcos its a top secret.
Orisirisi.
DeleteSee Nwafor using his hand to beat his chest over something he knows nothing about.
No be only heart!
I used to like commenting when everyone must have finished commenting. It feels good to be d last one.
ReplyDeleteNnhmmm, to the poster 1,
3 things com to my mind- Aphrodisiac, love&pray and get som1 else.
When I say aphrodisiac, I mean u shd find a Deer pennis or a tiger's pennis. Find a way to put it in his food. Its delicious meat. Its scientifically proven that this 2animals' part help one crave 4 sex more than anythin and guess what, who is d more available woman in d house? U (the answer is obvious). I woud not luk 4dis 2items 4U but I'm sure when u lay ur hands on them they wil go a long way to revive ur husbands cravings 4 Xes and when he does get his groves bak on, my dear hunger is gone. (Can u say Hallelujah to that).
The 2nd words r love and pray. From d way u give ur narrative u sound like a pain ensneered lady; a woman in agony and guess what dat woman does, she fights all d time and blames all d time and nags all d time. Listen! That's not how to go abt it. Go on ur knees and love ur husband more. Thr is no cure as effective as loving in deeds. When u love him, pray 4him. I beliv d financial situation in ur house now is bcos thr is no peace in d house. Remember Behind a successful woman is a strong woman. Be strong 4him.
And as 4 d last word. Get a substitute. Remember that guy who u were dating or who wanted 2date U b4 ur hubby came 2d picture? Call on him. Act like u repent. Get som1 to help u shine ur london. I'm not encouraging this last one but I'm just suggesting. When som1 is helping u shine ur london, u wouldn't care if ur husband does or not. Let me tell u d effect of d result u wd get from som1 else shinning ur london, u wd hav peace and stop being angry, ur husband wd think a miracle has happened since u r no longer concerned whether he shines it 4u everynight or not and then wd wanto get ur attention bak. Getting ur attention means providing 4d family once again. He would do whatever. (Don't 4get, pray as u apply dis suggestion) .As 4ur mother-in-law, pray 4her too. It is well poster 1. Choose ye this day just one solution. It works!
4 poster 2. U hav to decide whether to be a devouted christian or just a christian. The bible says a true worshiper will worship God in spirit and truth. If u choose to b a Christian, leave that man. And if u choose to b an ordinary christian, u can go ahead with ur plan, after all most of us are ordinary Christians. We do things in d hidden and go to church to ask 4 forgiveness. My dear its a good thing to marry a prince and ultimately b d wife of a king. Pray 4him to as he makes d decision after all I know kings in d Bible or som places in d world whr ppl that came to d position of rulership changed the way tradition was done. The destroyed idols and called that everyone worshipped the true God. Have faith, it could happen. Choose ye this day. It is well with U.