Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives.

''I need to find closure Stella''

''How does one find closure in a self induced 'heart break' situation''? Stella turns to ask blog visitors with arms wide open.....

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

LOOKING FOR CLOSURE

Earlier this year (2014), I met a guy. He is a Muslim, I’m a Christian and we are both in our late twenties. Initially, we din’t set out to date because of the religious difference, but we became attracted to each other and hung out a lot.  

It soon turned into a friends-with-benefits type relationship, which at first, was fun and exciting but left me feeling confused and used. In the first place, I never wanted to play around so I asked that we get more serious but he said no.  I then tried to break things off with him but he din't want to let go and continued to come after me. I myself continued to see him because I really liked him a lot and believed he felt the same way.

 There was a particular girl who called him often and when I asked who she was, he said she was just a friend. At that point, I had managed to convince myself that we were not an item, so I chose not to make a fuss over it. A few months later, I found out he’d been engaged to this girl since last year, being 2013, and he never told me. I confronted him and he said it was not a big deal since I knew we were not going to marry. He also said he din’t want to throw it in my face.

 We quarreled over it but made up after he further explained that they were broken up when he met me.  At what point they reconnected and got re-engaged, he refused to say. I chose to believe and forgive him, but vowed to keep things between us strictly platonic from then on even though I still had feelings for him.

 He left for Hajj the following day and he never called me while he was away. Yet, he was busy updating his social media accounts and posting his engagement pics on BBM. He came back a month later and got married. I was heartbroken and miserable for weeks. I'm still struggling to put this incident behind me and move on. Should I contact him and let him know that I was deeply hurt by what he did to me coz I feel I din’t say it enough and maybe that's the reason I still feel bitter about it? Please how do I get closure?

Contact him for what?honey,The guy made it known from the beginning that he didnt want a committment with you.you were the one who gave him all.

Please have some respect for yourself and move on already!

The closure you find is with you,you need to look into a mirror and promise yourself that you would not hold unto a man next time he says no,come one girl,love yourself cos no one else can do it better than you.

MOVE ON!

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

VIRGIN MARRYING JUST TO MAKE BABIES.

Hi Stella and fellow bv's, before we enter the new year I will like to get something off my chest. ‎In all my life I never expected I would end up with the man am getting married to in 2 weeks. Financially he is OK. Even though I have money I did not contribute one kobo to this wedding. 

He footed the whole bills without complaints but He is everything I have despised in a man physically: he is really thin (has Nkem Owoh kind of suffer head body), facially he is the worst looking guy I have ever dated. When he holds my hands i shiver and I can't imagine how I am going to have sex with him after the wedding.. let me be honest with ya'll, if I were 22 -25 years old I would never have accepted him. 

Yes you would probably say what was I doing while I was in that age bracket. I was busy praying, hoping, sowing seeds in church wishing I would get married before 25...but for some reasons that did not happen. 

I know I may be partly to blame though...growing up we were always restricted in going out. No parties. No hang outs. No birthdays. So yes I grew up withdrawn. I hardly talk. 

My friends are all on SDK blog..as in online unseen people. When you walk into a gathering am that pretty girl you see sitting by herself saying nothing. Yes am not blowing my trumpet saying am pretty because I am. On a scale of 1-10 I give myself 8 because the only thing I lack is height.  ‎

Please bear with me,i am going somewhere with this.

 So I ask myself what if on the wedding night we are finally going to do the thing and he ends up really small down there.."i feel he will be tiny because he is really skinny"..like did I keep myself all these years from guys to end up being disvirgined by a man I don't even like all because society won't let me be?

 Like would God really punish me like that?

If I could go back in time I would have let that dude I was in love with 4 years ago disvirgin me even though that wouldn't have kept him by my side but at least I would have lost it to someone I loved and on my own terms.

I know they must have been talking because that's all world people do. Enh Wunmi never marry till now? All her mates are gone oh..what is she waiting for?

People marry for different reasons. Some, because the guy is cute or rich or comes from a good home or lives abroad or he is TDH or because time is going or because of love or for financial security..yes so many different reasons and my own reason for deciding on this man even though I don't like him is because I want to have my own kids for God's sake..

if I lived in a society where I could have kids without a man and stil have respect I would gladly have done that..and also my younger sister who got married two years ago just put to bed. My younger brother has done introduction for his fiancée. 

‎

So in two weeks I will walk down that aisle with a big fake smile plastered on my face (after all if actresses can have sex with guys they are not in love with I should be able to do that with my hubby)‎.

Wow!.....At least you know why you are getting married.....Forget the size,all blokos' contains sperm to make pregnant,isnt that what you want?

You just might fall in love with him....his ugliness and thinness will vanish when you do...if not,face your kids when they come!

Happy married life in advance oh