Hmmm,lover girl has complaints....Na wah!.
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
CHRONICLES OF A LOVER GIRL
Dear Stella..
I read other BV chronicles here and I feel compelled to write mine.
I wanna say thank you for taking out time in hearing and posting BV issues here.
I wanna say thank you for taking out time in hearing and posting BV issues here.
To cut a longgggg story short, i am a very hard working lady with a paying job, born October 1980, I struggle to make it in life. Though am no orphan cos I still have a dad, but I am the bread winner of the family as my brothers and sisters depend on me, to even my papa, the burden I carried in the family is way heavier than me as I find it difficult to resist.
On top of all this, I have been living life as a sadist since 2007, no not because of the burden, but because I am single, lonely and confused.
SINGLE. At age 34 I am single. Do u know how it is to shed secret tears? That is how it has been with me since the last 7years, at a point I can't go down on my kneels without crying, I shut the doors behind me, weep for hours then come out with a smile, I try not to show my moody self cos I don't like been consoled and I can't tell people the reason why am crying is because am yet to find a husband material. At age 34 I look 25, people find it difficult to believe I am 34 already. I get toasters but mostly 8yrs younger than me. At a time I have given up on marriage, but the thought of friends telling me how much of a wife material i am.
LONELY. I hardly go out because in this part of the world any woman hanging out alone is a hulker/prostitute. No man/boyfriend to take me out...I do have male friends I talk with once in a while, but for how long, the guys too has their babes to attend to, besides most of the guys are younger than me even though they thought we are age mate becos of my kind of stature. The age difference has been a secret to me for long as my stature too join dey deceive me.
CONFUSED.I have a lovely boyfriend/fiance whom I have been seeing for more than 3yrs now; yes it is true he loves me to the moon and back, but life hasn't been fair to him as he has graduated since 2008 jobless up till this moment.
With no a penny to his name, I am compelled to pick all bills most of the time, the last time he borrowed money from me to pay his house rent, he collects money for things even though he knows the burden I shoulder at home. Most time I am d man in the relationship. I have a 2005 corolla I drive, I be d one to maintain the car, fuel it and even be the driver every time we are going out, I am still teaching him how to drive, how to get a driver licence which I will pay for, and how not to crash d car or someone else's cos I know I be the one to pay for fixing.
With no a penny to his name, I am compelled to pick all bills most of the time, the last time he borrowed money from me to pay his house rent, he collects money for things even though he knows the burden I shoulder at home. Most time I am d man in the relationship. I have a 2005 corolla I drive, I be d one to maintain the car, fuel it and even be the driver every time we are going out, I am still teaching him how to drive, how to get a driver licence which I will pay for, and how not to crash d car or someone else's cos I know I be the one to pay for fixing.
Stella he wanted us to get married come Feb 2015, but is this what I really want to do now, the house he is even staying is nothing to write home about not to talk of bringing in a wife, is house rent is 30k a year while mine is 180k, on top of that Na my hand him go collect am. I am tired of been d man in the relationship, am tired of telling him to be the man even, tired of pushing him with words to avoid him been depressed
If I rush now marry because of my age, won't I send him packing from our home cos obviously I will be paying all bills? I have a house project at hand in ibeju lekki, he is expecting that I complete one part of the flat on time so we can move in as husby and wifey. Honestly, this baffles me as to how long will I continue been the husband. Life is too short to worry too much, but nature I cant cheat.
I had fibroid surgery 2yrs back in royal free hospital in the UK and doctor tell me say I should try and take in after 6months to avoid recurrence.
Honestly life has a way of playing with your temper, but I have given life 100 reasons to be strong and happy irrespective of the situation and the condition and stay put...but for how long?
I dont know about you but hanging on for a man who doesnt hang on for himself is a NO NO NO for me!...You have been spoon feeding him and he doesnt know how to find the light in his tunnel.If you are so desperate to get married then dump him and leave the door open for another man to find you but whilst at it remember also that having a man work and bring in money doesnt make a happy union.
How can a man be planning to get married in February when he doesnt have a source of income?who will pay for the wedding?you wanna marry yourself?Your broke ass boyfriend needs to get up and find work.....NOW!
Hian! Pls show him the way out. Total waste of time.
ReplyDeleteIf no husband at 34 and u have a good job that can take care of u and a baby my sister I won't lie to u....I advise u to born ..who no see husband make e born ooo hmmmm than to be 40 single and waiting for a ceremony called marriage ...
DeleteHmmn I don't know what to say. I feel you. Ask for God's direction sha. E no easy being single at above 30.
DeleteWhat's with this CAPTCHA thing today nah. I couldn't comment on most posts because I can hardly see what's written.
DeleteNumber is better
Poster dear
DeleteThis my epistle may be long but I gotta do it.
*inhales*
Dear poster please learn to enjoy your own company. It may be absurd considering your age but once men smell desperation, they have it somewhere in their minds that this girl can take shut because she just wants a man.
Your a hard working woman and you should not settle for less.
Get married because you want to get married and start a family not because you 'NEED' someone.
Adam was alone, but he wasn't lonely. Your current attitude would make you vulnerable, clingy, and would equally lead you to settle for anything in trousers.
Am not saying your standards should be too high.
Learn to love you because you would even still need it in marriage. It's not 1/2 + 1/2 = 1. It's 1 + 1 = 1.
And that said, dump that man.
He would leech unto you and suck you dry. He is not ready to man up because you have been spoon feeding him all along.
Go to God in prayers. Fast. Call forth your own man. Remind God of his words. Know the basic qualities you want in a man, and keep on decreeing. Your man would come.
But sis, strolllo.
That man would make you miserable.
I wish you all the best
God would see you through.
Na wa o..this life is somtin else..my sister my advice for u is to let ur bf go since he isn't ready..he wil just be another liability that u wil regret having for the rest of your life..I know u re old enuf to gett married but being single somtimes cn b d best until ur destined man comes along..May God see you thru..stella hw far
DeleteCocaine finest E be like say u nuh take cocaine before u post ur comment. I agree with ur point
DeleteWheew!! This is quite tough..
Delete@poster;while not push him a lil bit via a lil heart to heart discussion and know what his short and long term goals are about ur relationship with him and also him getting a job..
You know some men like to relent a lot when they see their prospective girlfriend has a paying job..you know him more than we do;soo why not use the little knowledge you have about him to evaluate if he is trying effortlessly to get a job or is simply staying back cos he knows his girlfriend is always there to provide for him..but no matter what it is;dont reject a good man cos of his financial status(ie if he isn't lazy) but nevertheless it isn't okay getting married to a man who doesn't have anything at all doing..marriage is quite different from dating cos in marriage you ve responsibilities and a family to keep;soo when he isnt working how then do you plan to make ends meet?? Just evaluate everything yourself cos you know what you want in life and if truly you know you can continue your marriage with him irrespective of if he is working or not,then that's your decision..but if he isn't up to what you want out of a man you are getting married to;then its time to let go of him and open the door for others..
PLS CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MY LATEST NAIJA PARTY MIXTAPE
@MARTINS ABOY
Cocaine finest, your head dey there o jare! If I am approaching 40 and single, I will gently take in and nurture my baby. I can't play 2:0-> no husband no child. Never. I have an aunt, early 40's, she's single and has 1 regret. Her regret is why she didn't get pregnant and have a child to call hers.
DeleteMadam poster, from your explanation, this guy is not even making efforts to better himself. Please don't marry him out of desperation. 34 is still young, open yourself to find love and it will find you.
What kind of a man comfortably takes a woman's money! I just weak dear poster dump him and run
DeletePoster if you are an Ibo gal, I have an uncle That wants a wife..he shld be in his late 40's. I will drop his nos wit Stella dat is if u want....he stays in Uk
DeleteNwunye Okeke
Hian mma cee,read genesis again
DeleteAnd God saw that Adam was lonely and decided to put him to sleep so he could create a company for him.
Stop misquoting bible
But madam poster,leave that guy alone. You would be miserable with him if you settle down
DeleteNever marry a man without a penny to his name,u ll be frustrated. U r Better single,adopt a child and give her d world,than be d man in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteHian! sister please don't marry that your boyfriend because the frustration will just continue and it will get worse coz in-laws too will bring their own wahala. Sweet jesus will put a smile on your face in 2015 in jesus name.
DeleteI don't believe he has not been searching for a job or business to do. Maybe he is not searching harder...where I blame him is where he said"they should get married on her expense, and also move in to her new house without any atom of shame. May God not allow us men to put to shame. Amen
DeleteThis is really serious. My advice is u should look before u leap.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I feel like the moment you dump,this guy you would meet an amazing man who would turn your life around? You have issues, which are resolvable. But having a baby-man??!! That's unforgivable. I advice you get yourself someone who can support you and not another liability. You seem smart.... Why have you been here this long??.
DeleteHmm...at a point I was wondering if they were different msgs from different people!
ReplyDelete@poster, for me I can't be in such relationship, am not saying it's bad to help but when a man can't stand up for himself, even pay his house rent and wants to marry you without anything,u are in for a loooooong tin! I just have a feeling that you are being used, and you deserve much more than this! Sometimes love is not just enough, so think about it hun and act fast!
poster it sounds like you dating a child.. because i cant think of any reasonable man staying in a 30k apartment paid by his girlfriend...you have allowed your anguish take hold of you. so what of you are 34 you are definitely not the only single 34 out there.. please pick your self esteem back from wherever you dumped it, break up with that your so called boify and lastly SOCIALISE..haba u are looking for a husband yet you dont go out.. where will the husband find you??? please poster listen to rules of engagement by david ogbueli.
ReplyDeleteHian
DeleteDid u read the post till the end ?
Did she say she's looking for a husband?
Oriegwu
Did u read d post to understand Or to misundersood peoples coment ?
DeleteShe is looking 4 husband or man that will stand as a man not baby boy .
Yes she said so. @poster ur guy is so using u. He loves u 2 d moon n back? Ok ma, tell him Uve lost ur job n 4 d next 4months don't give him anythin he asks 4. Den start complaining about how u want 2 do a lot of tins 4 u n family yet no cash, come bk n tell us how ur lovely man is coping. Don't ever settle 4 less just cos u wanna settle. There re lots of singles out there who re far older than u so WAIT WATCH n PRAY ull definitely wear dat ring n 4s d rite man. God bless u
DeleteFine face no brain...olodo,buhahahahah
Deleteposter it sounds like you dating a child.. because i cant think of any reasonable man staying in a 30k apartment paid by his girlfriend...you have allowed your anguish take hold of you. so what of you are 34 you are definitely not the only single 34 out there.. please pick your self esteem back from wherever you dumped it, break up with that your so called boify and lastly SOCIALISE..haba u are looking for a husband yet you dont go out.. where will the husband find you??? please poster listen to rules of engagement by david ogbueli.
ReplyDeleteG
DeleteAnd my brother is searching for a woman like this but he never find!..poster, if paraventure it did not work for you both, my brother is 35 and he is doing great and want to settle down as soon as possible...but I think you shoudnt rush into getting married yet, since he still jobless and broke, and yet you need a baby and age is no longer happy with you even though you just 32.abeg I think you shoud pray and seek the face of God. My 99cent
ReplyDeletePoster better gree for Daniel brother oo, I de shame no de this tin o, u Nvr can tell, it can work out, dis ur boyfriend is not serious
DeleteMy dear poster, you won't only jump at this offer ooooooooooo na flying boat u sopoz use! I feel for you tho.... But listen up, no matter how long it takes, when Jesus shows up... It's always worth the wait!!!! Do not only ask God for a husband, ask Him for a discerning spirit to recognize one(when you find one)... Many times God answers are prayers(but we're too blind to notice)... He could be that brother that stares at you in church, he could be that play boy on yuh street(he can change for you), he could even be the guy you hate! Just ask God for directions and you'll never get lost.. It is well!
Delete@ Daniel, introduce me to ur brother ooo. I am single
Delete@ Jenny, am down serious about what I just typed. No joke..and he is also handsome.*winks*
DeleteDaniel hook a sister up na...adim capable
Deleteuniki ur brother is doing great but u dey rush credit everyday. ...hmmmmm
Deletestella you spoke my mind...buh its africa here i see women are really pressurized ooo...if i were you my dear...hmmm sperm bank have not closed up business...i will so go nd buy nad raise my kid instead of making one yeye man feel important..
ReplyDeletevisit my blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
Hmmmmm easier said than done. Sperm bank ni!
DeleteQuite unfortunate dear poster. I really dnt know what to chip in...just remain strong no matter what *sighs
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteI second you stella.
ReplyDeleteSorry 34
ReplyDeleteDear poster pls release him and open door for better men. It's better late than never o. U cannot continue to spoon feed him when u guys get married o. Good luck!
DeleteAda I wan ask you something wey dey bother me since.
DeleteDaniel hook a sister up with your brother please...
DeleteGod knows I can't b in a rship wia I ll b d sole bread winner o, mbanu! In as much I wana meet sm1 n get marid again, I ll nt settle for somfin as silly as a lazy man. Boi frnd do ursef a huge favor, get up n work!
ReplyDeleteThe worst mistake you'll make poster will be marrying that your boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteHe seems like he is very comfortable being spoon-fed by you and you indulge him too much I must say.
His type turn into abusers, bullies and womanizers in marriage.
Be very careful my dear.
He should start something first, no matter how small before he can talk about marriage.
But wait oh, you mean he wants to marry you with your money come February?
Hahaha!
He us a shameless man I'm sorry to say.
Please my dear, you are too good for this man in my opinion. Maybe you need to socialize more so you can meet better, more serious and focused men.
Don't limits yourself biko.
It is not too late yet.
Do not settle for less out of desperation.
You'll regret it later.
All the best dear.
It's an evil load that the enemy have given to her to carry she must open her spiritual eyes
DeleteLwkm cocaine eeeeee ooooooo
DeleteDear poster, this is so sad. Firstly be grateful to God for all he has given you to be able to take care of your family but you should also start teaching your younger ones how to be independent in life, they can do small paying jobs while in school, waiting for service or job hunting,or learn a skill. secondly drop that your money sucking fiance of 3 years like hot potato he is killing you emotionally and psychologically, no responsible man depends on a woman for upkeep and he is even thinking of marriage in 2 months, his type won't treat you right when he makes it in life, my dear run!!! thirdly love yourself enough to wait for a man that really deserves you, at 34 you can still marry your prince charming.It is well my dear.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, people are going through stuffs ooo. I read peoples stories and I reflect on mine and say God I thank u. It is not wise to shoulder d responsibility in a relationship, it is draining. I feel it gives room for see finish and trouble coupled wit d fact that u want to get married to him. Please don't do it, u have waited this long, hang in there a little and trust in God 4 ur husband. A million broken rship is better than 1 broken marriage filled with regret. God bless u in ur decision.
ReplyDeleteEtsako girls and see finish u still use that kind English here .is disrespect not a better word. ..una too dey local and na una over sabi pass everybody own.
DeleteWa moooo oh mogoode cocaine finiest and estako girl
DeleteInternational gal well done. We cant all b civilized like u else who would u pick on...
DeleteLook at this dumbo correcting another! what is Finiest? means nothing! I'm sure you are referring to fine. ..but that word is superlative for finny in regards to fishes. .. u just spoke about yourself in the last two lines of your comment!
DeleteI wonder!
ReplyDeleteHe is a lazy Man.
Poster, here are three things you must do and straight away.
1. End that relationship now so that you cash concentrate on the important problems.
2. Take yourself out. A man won't appear in your room to ask you for a relationship. Spend your free time at the mall, cinema...places you can meet people or rather bump into people. Eat out simetimes , a guy could walk up to your table with his food to join you...
Open the door of availability....
Don't cage yourself in....explore calmly.
3. Be prayerful and trust God. HE says ask, and you shall receive.
Be happy, be free spirited....all things will work out for your good.
Never allow the desperation to have a child cos of that fibrod becloud the right decisions.
Hugs.
*can
DeleteWow, God see you through.
ReplyDeleteWow wow wow I must commend you for not being blind to all these in the name of love
ReplyDeleteThank God you can actually think straight
Believe me you are not old @34,was @shilo last week when a woman of 50years gave a her testimony of how God blessed her with a very well to do man @ age 50,dont be surprise that you are the one holding yourself down,my dear sister please leave that bondage called relationship and let God do what he has to do in your life.
When I was @ shilo last na so I do busy body go marraige class my dear what I saw marvelled me chai come and see preety clean very matured ladies praying for husband,this are ladies I can call aunties,sincerely my prayer point changed I told God to settle them. Madam pls leave dat guy biko and face God
Heaven on earth! Wonders without end my sis. Watch out for my Testimony come Shiloh 2015. Me my husband and twins are coming to dance to our God!
DeleteI totally agree with you. Immediately I ended one rubbish relationship and told God no more relationships na marriage I want, as in the guy must state his intention from day one. Na so my husband come sharp sharp and it's 10 years now and counting. God doesn't like fornication, keep urself clean and He will grant you your heart desires.
DeleteLol Stella walahi I luv u #nohomo# girl pls leave dt guy, he is lazy cos ur spoon feeding him
ReplyDeleteNa wa! Ife neme
ReplyDeleteTo me lover girl do not marry the Gold digger
ReplyDeleteHe should go to ghana cos we don't have gold in naija
Even for u to dig gold u must try small!
He doesn't want to stratch head sef
Well cos he already see u as his meal ticket and a house in lekki
ThiefB
Dump him and move on as its never late to be happy
Wen hungry nearly kill him he will get serious about getting a job
U never hear hunger begotten talent?
Ok na!
Dump the lazy arse and move on
He is a user
If u marry that guy mark me u will live to regret it
I know their types
A stitch in time...........
Hmmm, this reminded of a comment someone post about the groom abandoning the bride on their wedding day.
ReplyDeletebabe watch it.
des 1 tough oooo
ReplyDeleteMadam poster ...
ReplyDeleteHow long can u endure this ? This your bf is not even thinking for himself.
His totally dependant on you and his comfortable.
What kind of man is that ?
Imagine telling u to finish up the house so u guys move in ?
His not a man biko
I man should be able to struggle .
A man should be a hustler.
Even if things are bad at least he he should do some odd jobs to make ends meet.
Take care of himself at least.
If u can bear it, then more strength to your elbow.
i am sure your husband to be is Yoruba from the way you narrated... you cannot see men from other tribes waiting for their wife to feed them they see it as insults.. this is common among the Yoruba men.
ReplyDeleteYoruba men very irresponsible bunch..
i am not sorry to say if anybody like let them cuss me out...
who as Nokia xl for sale?
i am a robot
Am proud to be igbo
DeleteAm proud to be from Anambra.
Igbo men are hustlers.
They ain't lazy.
@Mz bombshell... New Nokia Xl is 26k
DeleteBombshell,been good or bad has to do with your person and tribe or religion,if i had nokia x1,i wont give u coz am yoruba
Deletehe loves u to moon & back becos of things u do for him dont be deceived this guy is wt u for what he will gain. better to be alone than get stucked wt a male-grown-child. And u @ bombshell its not only a yoruba thing, i guess u don enter one chance wt a yoruba man.........lol
Delete@ bombshell, you don't need to apologize to nobody but not all yoruba men of this day are lazy ok!. Let say 3percent of them are not lazy...am proud to be an igboman anyday, anytime, anywhere
DeleteHoney thats too general for an insult,just how many yoruba men have you met,they value their self respect above all
DeleteStella, why are you like this? Who told you the guy doesn't want to work? You sound so mean.
ReplyDeleteIf you marry him,dat will be on of the greatest mistake of your life. Dnt be desperate. D dude is already comfortable with all you do for him. Stop dat at once. Even doe he has been jobless for past 6years,cant he find smt to do to make some money. My dear, d guy is out to such you dry even doe he knows you be a lot of responsibility. Leave him alone and stop having self pity for him. A new door won't open,if you dnt close that dysfunctional one. Let him go and dnt even dare to marry him. All the best
ReplyDeleteStella has said it all..odikwa too risky to go ahead n marry him, move on, u deserve the best.
ReplyDeleteyour broke ass boyfriend need to man up and take responsibility..you pay his bills my dear how long will u do that?.. you want to marry him and be the husband and not the wife in the marriage?..u will just shrink and die early..i think your boyfriend is now lazy because u pay his bills..sit him down..talk..he needs a job no matter how small..u can help him find one..i can never marry a,man and start from the inception of a marriage to pay his bills..never..u need someone to take care of you.and try to me more open about your age..there is a man out there for you..i know younger wealthy guys thet wants older women to marry..u might find love in a young guy..age is no barrier..if ur bf dont wANT TO WOrrK NNENNE DUMP HIM
ReplyDeletePoster better find ur shoe and run for your dear life
ReplyDeletewait ..poster i thought u were single n lonely or are there three diff posters?...you have a fiancee but you cry for boyfriend? huh? no one to take u out...huh?...ok, you have money nd you look young so why are u hanging on to the deadweight?...and why are you still single?...wait, now i've confused myself...go with door number 4...hehehehe...
ReplyDeleteAs in eeh I got confused too. Ike gwuu ds poster
DeleteDear poster, the worst thing u can ever do to itself is to pay your bride price *cos dats wat am seeing ooo*
ReplyDeleteShi!Life isn't usually fair.But seriously, from your write up,i don't think the guy is making any efforts, seeing as you're doing everything in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteDon't get into a marriage that'll keep you miserable, just because you think age is not on your side again.
And really, what's so wrong in marrying someone younger, if he has all you want. I didn't say 15 years or so kinda younger.
One to four years younger, isn't that bad, if he's mature and man enough.
God grant your heart desires sha.
Pls don't marry him. Thanks.
DeleteIt is well dear
ReplyDeleteIt is well
I don't even know what to say
Don't marry him yet..
If not frustration might kill both of you.... A man that has no job nor steady income is always frustrated
I don't even know what to say...I just feel for you Shaa..... Pls let him get. Job before u go ahead with your marriage
@Galore
Is the guy Yoruba?...
ReplyDeletePardon my question pls.
Btw,kindly,kindly dear poster,do not go into such kind of marriage. Plsssssss
In as much as I encourage sticking with a man that loves you without really considering the heaviness of his pocket,dear poster,this dude sounds irritatingly lazy!! He does not have a job but he wants to hurriedly get married by February!! From where? With whose money?? He is not even ashamed of himself.....
ReplyDeleteSomeone like this should not even be after learning how to drive instead he should be running round town looking for a job desperately to put a smile on your face! Instead he is relaxing behind the wheels and eagerly learning so he can grab the car from you...
Poster,take a break and register for your Wofbi(it is a bible class in winners chapel) after this,your life will never remain the same!
Good luck..you are fruitful,you will meet your life partner...even if he is not all that..as long as he is hard working..go for it!!!
Ps: you need to stop shouldering all the burden in your house and let your brothers and sisters focus on getting work too...are they even praying for you? very soon they will all get married and the mockery will start!! Remember to save your money ooh
Pls miss poster, take out time nd give urself space, so u would know what u want, compare his positive and negative side, b4 u leave, he might be lazy now, because he doesn't have any job, I will advice u to take ur time, it is not everybody dat has luck in getting a job on time, the only thing I don't like is dis marriage plan, u pple should sit down and talk about it. Wish u luck
Deletei tire o stella.......pls pls pls , wat is looking for a job since 2008? he is a lazy fool.....wat happened to business? he should go do sometin wt his life jor, rubbish!; madam poster, i can see u re doing well but do u think u wanna continue wit a broke ass nigga? the choice.is yours.
ReplyDeleteWhats this your comment will be visible after approval,stella if I dont see my comments,I will simply know that im not welcomed
ReplyDeleteThat's all I will say for now
ReplyDeleteWhats this your comment will be visible after approval,stella if I dont see my comments,I will simply know that im not welcomed
ReplyDeleteUr boo needs to get a Job as soon as possible, its not easy tho but he shd try & work out something.
ReplyDeleteHmm.. I can relate to this, but in all honesty you need not be afraid of being alone. You can't continue to hang on to a man who is not making effort to get a life. How long are you gonna foot the bills? Do you know the responsibility that comes with motherhood? I think you need to go more on your knees and cry if u must in the process. Pray. Go out with friends and never allow the world define you. Whoever said a woman hanging out alone is a 'hulker'. You need to tell yourself the truth. You either let the man out of your life and create the chance for something new, or you help him grow by looking out for vacancy or starting up a Lil business for him. I also understand you are the breadwinner of your family. Its never too late to start all over. May God put a smile on your face soonest.
ReplyDeleteLeave that guy now!! Heed to Stella's advice, u can't b taking care of ur famy nd boyfriend, if dat guy finds a rich girl, he wil dump ur sorry ass, he wants to depend on u nd hide his shame by saying u guys shd marry February next year, how can a man talk of marriage wen he isn't d one sponsoring it? Ur boyfriend is an idiot (sorry to use that word but he no get shame).. He didn't love u god if u r very broke lik him, he wNt b nice nd all that, u are his maga, how can a man not think of his own growth but he is keen on moving inside ur house instead of upgrading his messy life, dog don lick ur boyfriend eyes, he no get any iota of shame, dump him, dress sexy, go out n get a MAN
ReplyDeleteHe dsnt love u cos if you were broke*
DeleteGo with Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteI'm not in support of you footing everyone's bills. Please your family members should try to be responsible a bit. Can't they work if they are students? Must it be you all the time?
You have too many responsibilities that you have forgotten about how to live for yourself.
Let go of some responsibilities! Tell your siblings to get something doing, stop being Mrs Charity.
And that boyfriend, what a gold-digger! Such guts! He wants to get married on empty pockets! No shame! No pride! No self-worth!
Dump that nigga today, now, right now!
Let go of that load you call a boyfriend and find someone new.
Hmmmmn! Lastly, go to God in prayers. A 50 year old lady got married at Shiloh! God is still answering prayers.
Me I be small pikin for this matter, wetin I know? But I sha know say, I hate liabilities! If a guy is broke/poor/struggling, abeg that brother should look away.
Your head is there!
DeleteSpot on! Jayem.
DeleteWell said
DeleteJayEmlicious!
DeleteHmm,this story gave me a heavy heart,God so much responsibility. Nne its obvious ur doing well for urself and age, so u need to also find happiness cos u deserve that at least.like stella said u need to stop spoon feeding him now u still have the chance to or else if pressure push u marry am,then u ll become the husband o, believe me that is not a palatable experience.Any man who wants to move in with his wife is a no no for me, don't care the excuse u have,may God settle and grant. U joy on all sides.Amen
ReplyDeleteD matter tire me. If the guy was at least making an effort to make money I would sympathize with him but this guy just see's you as a means not to do anything with his life. Marry him if u will but you won't enjoy the marriage in the long run
ReplyDeleteThis is deep...did u ever ask him how he intend 2 go about d wedding bills? I feel u r contributing 2 his jobless situation..Real men feel emberassed when women foot bills,but he is obviously very comfortable..pls stop the xclusive pampering and let him get his lazy legs up.
ReplyDeleteHian! Was in your shoes some years back, I loosed woefully. Omo you better find your husband go front.
ReplyDeletehmmmn.........THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH
ReplyDeletei dnt undastand ds story o. u r single at 34 n u ve a boyfrnd who is not doin anythg. take it easy okay at least u ve a job be happy n cheerful u man ll cm at d rite time its wel wt
ReplyDeleteStella mama,i hail ooo,gd advise
ReplyDeleteHmmmm... Poster pls just take a chill pill. I can say it boldly that u really have not known the true character of this man. I think he could be all loving just because he knows u've got a lot.
ReplyDeleteIts not ideal for a man to hope on moving into a woman's house. It should be a woman moving into a man's house except in few cases.
Pls. Don't rush oooo. Marriage is enough 'work' on its own.
How can someone be jobless since 2008?its not feasible..business nko?your boyfriend ought to have been engaged in something and not wait on a lady for all his needs.methinks you cheered him on,always given him money and all that.its so wrong.my advice to you is to leave that man and pray God gives you someone to be a true partner to u in everyway.cos at the rate @ which the man is dependant on you,if you guys get married you will shoulder the responsibilities for life.you don't need a soothsayer to nudge you in the right direction!
ReplyDeleteMbok leave d him and move on
ReplyDeleteMbok move on with your life
ReplyDeleteDude is a broke ass..His is in on ur money,I can categorically tell u he is drooling for the money and wen he's done,VOOM! He will be gone
ReplyDeletePlease Open ur eyes and see..
Dude no love u
Dude aint loyal at all
Hian! na wa oh.. if u can shoulder all the responsibilities then go ahead na.
ReplyDeleteI can bet my xmas rice that u r going to marry that guy like that out of desperation if u don't meet someone by feb.
Relax, u r not the only single n lonely woman in the world. u have already waited this long, y not just wait a lil more n get married to someone who wld make the wait worth it.. #okbye!
True talk stella. Husbands today no get money for hand. Na women dey take care of them. No need to talk too much because what she is saying is what am even doing self. Me too, eyes don open ooo. That is why you see girls dey look for rich boyfriends/husbands. ME too don join to look for rich husband too.
ReplyDeletewao!!u nid to leave dat guy ASAP. God will bring ur husband for u.we bv's will pray for u always
ReplyDeleteMy dear leave that guy now fast!
ReplyDeleteSDK and my dear BVs, it feels good to be back, what did I miss in transit?
Tor!!!! Is all av got to say
ReplyDeleteI don't like men that are Shameless, it's one thing for a guy to be broke and the GF helps him out and it's another for the man to expect the female to help.
ReplyDeleteSince 2008 he's been Jobless and his rent is just 30k a year, meaning he pays 2500 a month(that na one room) and he still can't pay the rent, he's not serious. Hes even suggesting you complete your project so you both can move in as man and wife and im sure the property will be in his name abi?
I didn't see where he suggested that you loan him money to do Business, he's a leech! He's banking on your age to milk you dry.
He doesn't love you to the moon and back he loves the comfort and money you provide, who wouldnt?
So you are single, lonely and confused?
as for being lonely start hanging out with females your age preferably unmarried ones. I wonder how you can complain of being lonely when u claim to have a man.
Don't be confused, don't use your money to marry yourself, he should be able to bring something to be table no matter how small.
Hian...poster, u are on a long tin ooo
ReplyDeleteFirstly,ur guy nids a job asap...after that,u both can plan on settling down...dnt allow desperation to over-cloud ur reasoning.
Lemme share this lil story wiv u...
Aunty Becky was 36 yrs,and had a job buh was dating a jobless guy..She ws d 1st child and had too many financial responsibilities to cater for including her guy's bills.
The pressure frm family,friends and colleagues got 2her and she decided out of desperation to marry her"broke ass bf"..she singlehandedly footed the wedding bills, infact the bride price and evrytin in d list according to ibo tradition was done by her (No one knew abt dis)..She gave her "bf" money for all.
They got married and the guy moved down to lagos while aunt Becky stayed back @ her base cos of her job.
Aunty Becky is a born again ooo,so even if they have sex,am sure they used condom.
But as married couple,the rules will have to change.
She kept providing for her husband while the man ws busy frolicking wiv different gals.
Aunty Becky later joined her hubby in Lagos..infact frm her savings,she took care of all the bills
To cut the long story short,Aunty Becky got so sick and was diagnosed with HIV,the husband died last year...
I pray their lil daughter is HIV free...
Pls poster,am nt saying u shldnt support your bf ooooo....be wise!!
1) I cannot marry a man younger than I am!
ReplyDelete2) I cannot marry a man who isn't man enough!
Haba! Situations might warrant some things but he obviously is happy with you picking his bills!
Sis! Dump the nigga! No time is late in God's eye abeg!
Life is too short for iranu!
Very crazy boyfriend !! He will leave if he sees someone else dat is rich, he is usin u darling, brave ur self up n stage up a quarrel so u can stop paying his bills, I can save up those cash u give him cos u would be needing it ltr n for ur family, make friends meet people, my dear some pl u see married today were introduced by friends, there r guys looking for wife n Wnt waste time to marry immediately, for ur own good leave dat guy or wat kind of father will I tell ur kids their dad is? Later if u desperately marry him,he will say I were desperate that was y I married him even wen u knew he was broke, most ofu friends nd sisters gotartoed under few months after dating some idiots for donkey years!! Word
Delete*u
DeleteThe hand writing is very clear. If you want to marry a man you will feed all your life good luck.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad...I feel ur pain sister, I dnt need to b ur age or go tru wat u r going tru to understand u. try and forget dat guy, he cnt stand for himself, allow him find himself first. Meanwhile open ur heart to other men, forget their age sumtimes, look at how a man treats u, and oda tins...maturity is nt by age, u can get wat u want in a younger guy if he truly lives and understands u. just try and open up ur heart and u will find a good guy.
ReplyDeletejezz this is much!you need to put god first but still i concour wiv Aunty stella, he no get money he wan get married, or its you dat will pay for your wedding?abbeg my sister talk to your legs ooo! if u know what is right for you,tell him to find a job if he know he still want you
ReplyDeleteBabe u are his ATM machine, don't know how u girls enjoy been the man in ur s/ship, my man na dey fix my car oh, pay for my hair, upto toiletries na guy man dey buy lol, y my salary goes to my account monthly, dump his sorry ads and stop been desperate, if no friends to hang out with u go out alone, look for a rich or an average guy to hook up with, I hate poor men abeg.
ReplyDeleteGbam' sharp girl
DeleteMy dear, i read in btw d lines and i can say i feel ur pain and confusioN but will u rather marry this your boy friend today and become haggard in a few yrs due to d dtress and d burden of being d man in ur home and d bread winner in ur family!! Haba! Babe u dey try, i hail u seriously..
ReplyDeleteNow look @ what i think, how can that nigga wish to marry feb wit no penny,Na u go marry urself o.
Imagine, dreaming of u completing.d house so he can move in and answer horseband!!
You may be seeing ur self as being old but my love, u deserve the best!! Let that lazy guy go so u can have the freedom to meet the right man. May the best man find u soonest! Next yr shall be a good yr for you.
And plz do not forget to confide in GOD through prayer!! All will be well.
Poster,all will be well with you, OK? just be calm and keep your hope alive.
ReplyDeleteAs for your boyfriend, i think you have indulged him too much. Dont get me wrong, i am not saying you should not help him but there has to be a limit. If he was not dating you OR if you also do not have a job, wont he look for some other means of survival? What about his family? Isnt there anyone of them helping him in a way? If you are out of a job today, wont he survive? Why dont you encourage him to take up a teaching job in a private school OR try out some sort of bizness ventures, at least that will help him pay some of his bills instead of depending solely on you.
Poster, be wise. I hope you arent building your house in his name ooo?? cos guys are not smiling dis days.
Just like Stella said earlier, open up to other guys around you, your better option might just be around corner. Try to socialize more. A man will not come and break the door of ur room to seek your hand in marriage, there just has to be a meeting point.
Above all, keep praying to God and bare all u burden to him. *e-hugs*
D guy is a crook, all he has to offer is his indomie dick to d poster, he de use poster dp local yahoo, even if u r 300 years Dnt pay bills for a guy , now he is relaxed cos I slave for h, iknow u feel I cNt get someone else n he tinks so too, that is y he is talking about marriage n he wnt spend money, but wud dance shamelessly dat day!! Get over him dear, there r girls o know of who carry love for head in a bad rlshp that was heading nowhere but immediately they saw someone who wants to marry them, d love for boyfriend varnished.. Leave dis guy biko
DeleteWhat about raising some capital for him and let him start a biz e.g rentals, laundry if you love him that much. Suspend wedding for now.
ReplyDeleteYou r single and lonley, yet you say you have a boyfriend/ fiance... oh girl which one u dey na??
ReplyDeletemy dear allow God to fulfill his destiny for you, why marry a man that doesnt have a job just because you want to be called "mrs Somebody". i am just thinking on what that man will do to you in the next few years to come. you are not alone on this, pray and ask for directions before you make the worst mistakes of your life.....
ReplyDeletei think i understand u poster,but i need to ask u,is he d lazy type?if no then u can pls try n set up a business for him,not everybody is cut out for a white-collar job.set up a business and manage it together n see how it goes..i believe he too is not happy with his life,no man in dat condition is.see how d business grows in six months..if it's encouraging then try to conceive bcos of ur health issues.but if it's not then....#sipsMoetnChandon#
ReplyDeletedem dey chase u from ur village o
ReplyDelete*prove you're not a robot to read*
Does this story even make any sense? How can you be single and lonely, yet claim to have a fiance (albeit, a broke ass one)? Na wa for una for Naija.
ReplyDeleteNonsence Biko quit the relationship immediately, write today's date and remember it, if you marry this guy, you will regret tomorrow. I hate his type and you too, stop giving him money, what about his people.?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete* appreciate life
DeleteI told myself today, I will stop insulting you but after reading this...buhahahahahahahahahaha!
DeleteYou are supposed to be 'intelligent' but you can't tell it's one and same story...buhahahahahahahaha!
Even the advice sef no gel...lmao! The hunt for a husband has made you 'unintelligent'. Lwkmd.
Guyman don find love. Babes if you marry this guy ehh (sorry, if you marry yourself ehh) you go hear say your name na sorry.
ReplyDeleteCan't you see guy man dey find where to lay his head for free?
Eiya
ReplyDeletePoster, I could just shed tears for you right now (not like it's gon resolve the situation, but I dey office.
God is never asleep, you know?
Don't give up....not just yet.
SDK THANKS FOR THE RESPONSE! PLS LADY KINDLY MOVE ON WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND STOP DECEIVING YOUR SELF,YOU DONT HAVE A MAN YET IN YOUR LIFE PLS !!!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster I feel your pain infact my story is close to yours.I met this guy in uni days a genius, this guy is very intelligent but he hardly reads or attend classes, we actually met when we were in the same final year project group, he was the brain behind the project,we became close and I started liking him then, he loves me no b small, fate brought us to serve in the same state but then he had a gf, though he was always coming close but I didn't want any issues with the girl so I gave a distance. Since after service he has not secured a good befitting job. He does some odd jobs at times but I really feel for him. This guy is soo brilliant. He came out with a very high 2:1 (he doesn't attend class o and I can imagine if he was more serious in skool, am sure he would have finished with a first class). Any BV that could help for a good job. He studied Chemical Engineering.
ReplyDeleteHe still loves me very much but he has not asked me out, he tells me everything...we can talk for hours, I belif the chemistry is there..he keeps asking me if am in a relationship blah blah..I think he feels I will not accept because I am doing very well...He is this kind of person that likes to make his money outside of a girl so I understand. The other day his friend hinted me about his love for me...My wish is for him to get a good job because he deserves it and I know he will perform so well. Fellow BVs please help a sister!
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
First of all dumb that lazy man bcos he doesnt love yu but ur money and the way i see this, yu have been putting men on hold during ur twenties thats why yu could'nt have any boy frnd up this moment..
*GLO BRING 3G TO KONTAGORA*
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
I seconded stella on dis
ReplyDeleteHow a 34 year old woman would still be asking this stupid question baffles me, anyway I guess u just want to write something, if I say marry him now God wuld provide,blah blah would u go ahead?if yes remain single cos you still need a lot of maturing to do, anyway any blog visitor in new York, I'm freezing here,i knew abot the cold but as hv nver experienced it I thot I should give it a shot,big mistake, I need to do a lot of site seeing b4 I head to florida pls newyorker's send me an email,eo4luv@yahoo.com. Male-female welcm
ReplyDeleteAnd also try n take everything to God in prayers
ReplyDeleteDon't worry ok, since you're an industrious young lady....will definitely reap what you sowed
Just as madam Stella advised~close the current door then new n better doors will be open.
Any man who will conciously allow a woman pick up all the bills is not fit to wear trousers at all. Make him go find skirt buy or better still make him dey tie wrapper. Haba!
ReplyDeletePoster you are stressed my dear. I feel for your situation, a life where you have no one helping out in any way. If i have any advice for you i would say you should make yourself happy with your hard earned cash, don't be spending on people who wouldn't do same for you if the tables were turned.
And don't forget to dump that 'baby' boyfriend of yours before this year ends so that a real man can come along. You've wasted three years of your life already. Waste no more. I wish you all the best.
Dnt marry him yet. if u keep paying his bills, he will neva get a job. love is responsibility nt a feeling.
ReplyDeleteA happy, fulfilling, and successful marriage is supposed to be lifetime where the couple grow together in loving, understanding and caring for each other. Likewise, ideally, they learn from each other and reciprocate each others needs and simultaneously progress in their pursuit to achieve their mutual dreams. So poster
ReplyDeleteWhich do you prefer? to marry an already very rich prospect without love or to marry the love of your life where you both can build your future together.
I feel for u dear! But pls do not rush into any marriage now, cos by then things will go worse dan it is now. God will send ur better half to u in due time. Best of luck sweetie
ReplyDeleteNa waoh. All these boys, always comfortable with their babes picking up their bills. With this kain handwriting on the wall, what else do you need. Don't go and kill yourself with stress and worry cos you want to marry.
ReplyDeletePoster my advice : he mite b a gud guy but Sri to say he is lazy he Shud plz look for sumtin to do at least dat will give him little moni..bcz if u cont like dis and u pple get married (obviously with ur moni) u will cont to b d bread winner and babe is not easy for u to do a man's work ohh have seen women who are in ur shoes dey complain almost every time abt it and are always looking stressed up.....encourage him to work harder and stop spoon feeding him so he will no wat is happening in d world......babe plz don't do wat u will regret tomorrow think twice ohhh
ReplyDeleteStella hass said it all.Aunty stells,u hit d nail on d head.
ReplyDeletehmmmmmm,reading these brought tears to my eyes,lif cud be so unfair that wat we seek is nt wat we get.this is jst me and my bf my job is jst 30k per month and he has nothing coming in @ al yet his dream is for us to get marry next year,we hav been togeda for a long time nd he is a great guy wit potentials,a graduate.pls bvs any job arnd abj for him i wil be very grateful. hav applied for several jobs on his behalf bt luck has not shine on us.m still hopeful dt something great will happen bf the end of this yr.
ReplyDeleteI agree with aunty stella ..
ReplyDeleteposter,the truth is in dis part of d world,we are faced wth pressure to marry bla bla bla. a 19 yrs married woman has more respect than a 34yrs unmarried woman. a lot of people will tell u walk out,but ask urself dis question,if u leave him,to start anoda relationship,u need anoda 6mnt-1yrs, u will be 35/36yrs,wch has a probability of working out or failing. i knw a woman who was and is still d breadwinner of her home(she be second wife self)she is financially ok than her husband. she singe handedly trained her 5kids,with 3 already a graduate,4th in d uni,last in sec sch..i knw ow u feel becos i be woman too.but be realistic,can u afford to walk away.will u be happy,will u be okay wt dat decision.wat if he was okay ,u married him and along d line,tins crashed. will u divorce him... sit him down ask him wat biz he can do on his own,if u can help,fine.poster jst have one or two kids,if he does not make effort after then..walk away and face ur kids,becos ur kids are ur future....i dnt knw if i make sense or not sha... watever u hold d final decision...
ReplyDelete@sdk last born...Sri to say but do u think it is easy to be d bread winner dat kind of marriage most times don't last long cuz d woman will lose respect for d man...is better she dumbs dat guy and look for sme1 dat is ready to do sumtin Rada Dan depending on a woman...dere is a difference between being poor and working hard Dan being poor and waiting to be spoon fed... in dis two situation d one dat will make it will definitely b d one dat works hard.....
DeleteYou make absolutely no sense. You're advicing her to marry him cos in Nigeria marriage=respect abi? Would you rather be single and alive or married and dead? Marriage ISNT the end of the world. Marriage is meant to be ENJOYED not ENDURED. Why go into something knowingly when all the warning signs and right in your face? If she marries him n starts being miserable, u will use the same mouth to tell her "since u willingly married, just stay n manage". She has the opportunity to avoid all these and you're advicing her to marry him. Its not fair. Try to uplift ur fellow woman rather than forcing her to be who society expects her to be.
DeleteJesus! Did you just give this advice? Really? Did you read before punching that 'publish' button? Gesù!
DeleteI rest my case!
Nice 1 jare. But why this problem of single women all over. It's a serious case.
DeletePlease don't go into marriage with him without him getting a reliable source of income. If you do and you are the one footing all the bills in the house, soon you'll transfer your pain or aggression on him which won't sound nice at all. Think it through. If not that you have a lot on your plate, I would have said maybe you should help him with funds to start a business.
ReplyDeleteYou are his sugar mommy dump him biko let him hustle and be a man and find a wife his level...God will bless you with yours that will build and grow bigger with you... You should hangout more..
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty serious buh d nigga should first of all get a job, then think of marriage because he's gonna be frustrated in d future if things ain't changed
ReplyDeleteHe is planning to get married to you come february and he ain't gat no job? And you didn't state what effort he is making towards getting a job. Well dear poster, he is a lazy asshole.
ReplyDeleteYou drive a Corolla even if it's a 2005 model, you have a house project in Lekki and live in a 180k per annum apartment, your man lives in a 30k apartment and he expects you to complete a flat so you could move in as H & W? Sugarplum, he is a motherfucking gold-digger.
Erase the "he loves me to the moon and back" mentality you carry, please. Until you are dead broke and can no longer pay his bills then come back and tell us how madly he is into you.
Pumpkin, you look 25, innit? Calm the hell down!
this one pass me oo
ReplyDeletemadam age is no by your side,my advice for u is to hold on with the marriage,but still be in the relationship,pending the time u get another alternative,if not u can get pregnant along the line in the relationship,thank God financially u can take care of your child,that is if u still need a child.what can help your is to find the guy a job no matter how small.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for your dear, but just hang in there, your miracle is around the corner. your own man will definitely locate you. As per your man am sorry, he is a no no......
ReplyDeleteBiko, I beg you don't even try marrying that man oh, he will so depress you. Any man without the mentality of fending for a woman is a no-no. And sister don't bind yourself with age matter a younger man might just be it for you, your own function is to be submissive and allow your self soak in the love he provides. As for that your family, the fact you should know is that if they didn't have you to provide for them they will survive, so you have to be strict on all of them for their own good. Provide only the BARE necessity, then they will find a way to make up. And cheer up. Always call your name and say relax. No more tears, that is telling God you are ungrateful. Poster relax God is in control. Willing to share my sarcastic self with you hola @ me on meetmiirene@yahoo.com. One love to all the sisters in waiting, It is well.
ReplyDeletetaking free money from gals scares me shitless let alone hoping to feast and live from her sweat without lifting a finger. Pls I can lend you John Terry's boots to kick his sorry ass
ReplyDeletetaking free money from gals scares me shitless let alone hoping to feast and live from her sweat without lifting a finger. Pls I can lend you John Terry's boots to kick his sorry ass
ReplyDeletesure a woman wants a man by her side, but is dat really a need. how long r we going to kip tormenting ourselves based on wat ppl think, wen obviously the situation is not our making. swthrt, the bible says that a woman will be the mans helper, which means he has to take the lead while you offer a helping hand from behind. many are already in the marriage and they are not finding it funny, why dont you calm down, kip praying and wait on God, and you have cuddled that 'baby man' for so long, its time to let him go. while he is there, there is no room for someone else. so do the clean up, pray to have an encounter with the holy spirit cos wen you do, u would stop getting depressed. live ur life.
ReplyDeleteALL IS WELL
Dump him now
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, if he is not making efforts to get a job please leave him and if u decide to manage him then u can never be happy with him and yourself as the weight will pull you DOWN totally. tell him to get a job before marriage even if they are paying meager he should get a job and not be a burden! its not all about Love alone.All in all pray for him and pray about your decision. One love
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm my dear poster, please listen to the words of wisdom. Stella is right. This your guy ehn, I really doubt how true his love for you is. I think he just loves you out of convinience...you're footing his bill, you have a house project, etc... i've been in this situation before oh. Infact mine just ended early this year. This guy was soooo laid-back and had no future prospect. Always day dreaming of the day God would "shine down" on him and he will "blow" and buy cars and build houses. He would go for every church service, pray like the world is coming to an end, but no action. We used to drive my car, I'm the one who fuels it, repairs it, buys food in his house, buys gas, cook, make clothes for free for his mother, make clothes for him, buy him shoes whenever I travel, etc.... this guy had nothing to give me except sleep with me and share his "empty" future plans. He was only interested in my plans that involved him one way or the other. He would always come to borrow my car because he cannot "take the bus"... as a big boy now. Kai! I paid rent of 350k when his landlord was almost pushing him out. At that same time I was running my school plans to come study my masters in the UK. He didn't contribute one bit. Not financially...I wasnt expecting money. but at least ask me how it's going, even follow me for interviews and all that. Same guy I had to force him to go back to school cos he dropped out of uni. I took him to unilag, got part time reg form so he can work and school at d same time. All he knows is to sit at home, eat, sleep, wake up by 12 or 1pm, play game, his loucy friends will come around, they'll play loud music and be dancing! At 35!! I'm just 28 oh, yet I'm d one responsible for my family. Single mom, two sisters and a brother. I'm the man of the house. I work like a machine just to make sure my family is alright. Then I had to take up my bf's responsibilities as well. His younger brother was also leading that part. I had to register him in a website training school cos he said he liked design. Till today, two of them did not do more than one week each in their schools. I was sad and holding on cos I felt I'd been with this guy for long and was worried I wnt find another man. My dear poster, it took courage to leave this guy oh, with my 350k that he never paid back sef. And as I'm talking to u, two months down the line, I met this amazing man. Amazing! I'm now in the UK, he's taking care of my bills here, taking care of my sick mother and younger ones at home. He is soo loving, he is my miracle and i'm struggling so hard here to make sure I come out with good grades. I want to make him proud of me. He is not wealthy oh, just average. Works his ass out yet i'm on his priority list. That's a man that loves u. Anyman who truly loves a woman would invest in her. Sorry for my long post but I just thought to share this with you. Leave that guy. Your own man is right there waiting for you. Pray, don't think too much. Pray. It is well.
ReplyDeleteAt this time of your life you should know what you want and what you do not want in your life.if you have been with the guy for 3 years and paying his bills that shows you are the patient type. Money doesn't guarantee happiness, but the connection between you two, d chemistry, understanding and the respect you both have for each other. There are people who live in big houses but have no moment of peace whilst others just have enough to eat and live happily. You are 34 and seem to have gone through a lot. I think you should be looking for peace of mind, happiness and a home rather than calculating the financial capability of a man.if you can help your guy start a business no matter how little, it will reduce alot of the problem you have now. Then settle down with him and make a home together. God bless you both.
ReplyDeletePls don't marry that man o, cos I c.an assure u that that sorrow you feel right now will be doubled. Marriage no be by force o. Try and Bury yourself in God, he is the only true source of joy, seek him first, and every other thing will be added, including husband. Amen
ReplyDeleteAll is well, even some men that takes all responsibilities complaint, how much more u? Biko, take to ur heels.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with men and laziness these days?? I hear these stories and I am in utter shock. No woman, and I repeat no woman should assume the place of the breadwinner in a home" my mum's sister told me these wise words a longtime ago and that has been my mantra.
ReplyDeleteI have heard testimonies of people getting married at 40, don't be discouraged. If getting pregnant is the only reason you want to marry that man, please have a rethink. I assure you, you would be happier as a single mother than a husband, wife, mother (breadwinner of a full fledged home)
Dis r d mistakes we make. Dis African mentality dt compels us to marry at all cost is soooo absurd. My dear, ure beta single dn bin a nanny to a lazy man. And who said u cnt date a younger guy if u find out who rily loves so don't rule out dt option. As for kids,u Cn always adopt, I av a neighbour dt has 2 adopted kids,and she is happy. U deserve more,focus on bin happy pls.
ReplyDeletePoster. Am in my early 30s and don't have a boo, bae or whatever but have told God that I have left everything in His hands. You know that feeling when you are like am done trying because you know people are taking your kind nature for granted, that's the state am in now. I can't come and go and kill myself for any man. I believe the man meant for me will locate me at God's appointed time. How can you allow your man to be a grown up baby. You are even helping him in becoming lazy by giving him all he wants. Pls tell him to go out there and get a job. Any kind of job at all because there is dignity in labour. Pls stop indulging him and put every marriage plans he has on hold or do you want to marry your self? Pls relax about the age ish and let God take charge.
ReplyDeleteHmm. In this part of the world, sometimes, we overlook the obvious just because of age. Though, time they say waits for no man. But from your story, I depict dat the man has lost his 'trousers' to you a longtime ago and has exchanged it with your 'wrapper'. He is probably a lazy fellow. Think twice and don't rush into marriage wiv such man. May God help you to make a good decision out of all the advice you will get through this post.
ReplyDeletefirst of all make that bros go find work any type of work..the story is kinda annoying self..the babe dey vex me.
ReplyDeleteThis the reason y I jump and pass this chronicle sometimes. Madam poster do u know some men are destiny killers? What happened to hussling? Dis ur bobo use style lazy and do not be surprised he has small savings for himmself,he just wants to continue milking u from left right and center. This ur guy no b potential bachelor o,abi na oil work he dy wait for? Since 2008? Make he fear God abeg. Take a lil load off ur shoulders,allow ur younger ones to fend for themselves,dy shld find small tin doing eventhough its a part time job or else dy hang on ur shoulders for everytin and anytin thereby making dem lazy and findin it hard to hussle. Continue supporting ur family o but try dy use sieve they sieve sometins, the God that blessed my 44year old friend wit a fiance will bless u wit a good husband.m reduce the thinking,desperation and hang out more often wit ur friends.God has answered u,all u need do is have faith cos I believe say na that FAITH u no get. As for ur bfriend abeg jump and pass d guy.
ReplyDeleteThanks all for ur contribution, ur candid advice has lighten my burden......am droping my email incase u wanna mingle, i need friends both boys and girls...especially now dat i wil be single..#lol oluwatoyin1980@yahoo.co.uk
ReplyDeleteSugar mummy things
ReplyDeletePoster. Am in my early 30s and don't have a boo, bae or whatever but have told God that I have left everything in His hands. You know that feeling when you are like am done trying because you know people are taking your kind nature for granted, that's the state am in now. I can't come and go and kill myself for any man. I believe the man meant for me will locate me at God's appointed time. How can you allow your man to be a grown up baby. You are even helping him in becoming lazy by giving him all he wants. Pls tell him to go out there and get a job. Any kind of job at all because there is dignity in labour. Pls stop indulging him and put every marriage plans he has on hold or do you want to marry your self? Pls relax about the age ish and let God take charge.
ReplyDeleteTell your Boy friend/fiance to come to this blog, he will get a job. Stop footing his bills and tell him that you can't marry yourself i.e. you can't foot the intro/wedding expenses he needs to do that because he's the man. Pray more and worry less. Jesus cares.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm at first I thought maybe I send my story to Stella without knowing untill the sub heading that says conclusion.
ReplyDeletePoster, me n u have the same stature am 32 but look 22 n is really deciving pple around me.
Hmmmm God dey sha..
Since you have started spoon-feeding him, that will surely continue into the marriage. Is this what you want? Men of these days are shameless o. They don't mind if you become the husband. Be patient everything will be ok.Rose
ReplyDeleteHmmmm at first I thought maybe I send my story to Stella without knowing untill the sub heading that says conclusion.
ReplyDeletePoster, me n u have the same stature am 32 but look 22 n is really deceiving pple around me.
Pls don't marry dis guy cos at a stage u will be tired of carrying the responsibility n at that time it will be more trouble.
Hmmmm God dey sha..
This is my advice for you
ReplyDeleteBreak your relationship with that pest in your life.
Marriage is not a must.
He wants yu guys to get marid in feb??wit which moni abi u go pay groom price?pls move on o u gat too mani responsibilities alrdy dnt kill ursef wid burden eiya
ReplyDelete~~~~DIAMOND~~~~
Poster abeg follow stella advice cos me no get anything to add.God help you.
ReplyDeleteDear poster you don't need a man to be happy, I knw Africa has their ish abt unmarried females in their 30s but from your narrative you've shown that you are a strong woman but my opinion is leave that leech of a bf, so for the past 6years e Neva see work not even teaching for primary sch ah abah poster make u check am nau I think he's just comfortable that you are picking up his bills....if you marry am eh infact u'd have married yourself...my dear there's a beautiful life our there don't restrict your self. FYI men no scarce live a little!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time i am 100% "SPEECHLESS"
ReplyDelete@ poster disengage fr ur boyfriend,,give another person chance..
ReplyDeleteplease take out time and read these:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.theologyforwomen.org/2009/02/in-waiting-meditations-for-christian.html
http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/words-of-comfort-when-your-heart-is-broken/
My dear it's a pity but marriage is not by force oo, u can still be happy if u want & don't let ur single status weigh u down, I'm slightly older dan u & still believing God but I'm so so happy & looking up to God dat some day d man will find me. But u have to let God be in charge & belief in His eleventh hour miracle. Some start early in marriage & some starts late but above all is finding happiness. As for dat ur guy u have over pampered him & u need to give him a break so he can go find his bearing as a man. May God see u through.
ReplyDeletehoney,you've got to be strong for yourself,its eaiser said than done,life is not always fair,age is just a number,you always have to remember that,you've got your whole life ahead of you so stop putting marriage pressure on yourself,marriage is another ball game entirely.
ReplyDeleteon your boyfy,hmmm,talk it out with him,God made Man the head for a ' and that is a big priority,only you can make yourself happy,Big hugs from me to you,this will pass
honey,you've got to be strong for yourself,its eaiser said than done,life is not always fair,age is just a number,you always have to remember that,you've got your whole life ahead of you so stop putting marriage pressure on yourself,marriage is another ball game entirely.
ReplyDeleteon your boyfy,hmmm,talk it out with him,God made Man the head for a ' and that is a big priority,only you can make yourself happy,Big hugs from me to you,this will pass