Recntly, while having fun with the house-mates in the ongoing Big brother Africa Hotspot game, media personality, Uti Nwachukwu stated that marriage is not for everybody.
The conversation started with Nigerian housemate, Tayo asking when Uti would settle down, Uti replied saying “40” while Tayo said “30”.
According to Uti, “you can’t decide when to get married; only God will tell you when it’s time. The divorce rate in Nigeria is pretty scary. Marriage is not by age, you have to be ready.
Everybody is marrying and divorcing, it is pretty scary. We are having highest rates of divorce ever. It isn’t compulsory for everyone to be married. Some people were born to be single.”
Speaking further, he said “You can’t decide for yourself when you are ready to get hitched; only God has that power to make such decision. Look at Tayo, he says he would like to get married next year to his baby mama, seeing that age isn’t on his side as well, but he needs to be sure that he is spiritually and financially ready to get married.
Marriage is not something one should rush into. Make sure God says it is ready before you plunge.” - Dailypostng reportage
Infact the divorce rate this days is really alarming, may God help we single one to find the right rhythm of marriage.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
I love my Uti forever! God bless producers for bringing him back to the house for a third term. These so called hotshots are colder than my deep freezer when phcn doesnt strike for a year! Useless bunch of rigid lunatics! As per divorce,hmmm.I ve said it several times,no one wants another 'winch' wey wicked, in the name of marriage, to take away their joy. Life is too short to be writing chronicles 1,2 and 3 for us SDkers to mediate as if we are experienced shrinks! Lucky are those in normal unions. A lot of users are on rampage seeking who to deduct their happiness quotient! God punish them all! Be doubly sure before you take the plunge! As we say in Benin where I grew up, "omai eazi"!
Deletewell said
DeleteCute Uti
ReplyDeleteCute, yes. But his body language and utterances is telling me this guy is not real. Every marriage in Nigeria has not crashed, why wish yourself bad luck?
DeleteGuy, na for mind e dey o
I am not sure if I want to get married too, no be by force.
DeleteI comment my reserve...
How did he wish himself bad luck? I dey suspect ur type sef.
DeleteIf only Nigerian will understand that fact. Marriage is not by age at all
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone who has click on my name so far.
Cute uti
ReplyDeleteWetin na Patt, how many times you wan talk am?
DeleteIn fact, pat dey vex me with these submissions! I will send you an admin query from ADAT! You alone know what I mean!
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
The way i dey see this UTI i swear he never ready to settle down. I go advice seaon make she run no look back bcos this guy plan no go ever favour her at all....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Nna, y do u always swear? Not good for a xtain okay?
DeleteShut your stupid mouth.... The way u see... Who the fuck are you for us to judge your dirty eyes to see? That's how u ple put words in their mouth they don't say..... U are not God so stop seeing what u don't know..... Big mouth amebo
DeleteThis stupid anon must b Uti. Going around abusing ppl.
DeleteR u on drugs? Or them send u ni. Better go n relax o. B4 fire burn ur nyash! Ekwensu
He is very right! Marriage is over rated but comes with respect and recognition.
ReplyDeleteIf you get a good spouse, you can resolve issues without much ado but if you marry for a reason, once your spouse ain't living up to that reason....things fall apart!
Sure,there has to be mutual respect love and understanding,of which our generation lack for one another!
DeleteWas talking to an old client,a title holder at dat,hes been married almost forty yrs,and he said something dat seem strange:'dat he and his wife have never raised their voices at each other,and shocked I asked how they managed crisis?he said when he is angry she let him be and pets him and he likewise does that for her!any conversation that wants to turn to a big argument with tempers rising is left alone and discussed leta.i was wowed'!now dats mutual respect.
I think we need that more in our marriages than d word love! Love! We are screaming everywhere.the love thing is really overrated.
He no lie, I'm fiing for divorce alrdy. All dse guys thinks marriage na like relatnship. How will a responsible husband see ur friend in a club with his gf bside him n tell ur frnd say Shebi u see say I wear my ring, d girl no fit die for my neck na! Jesus. I can't deal. Stella, I never get mind to write my own story oooo, but soon sha.
ReplyDeleteBiko before you file for divorce send your story to Stella and let's discuss.. e-hug.
DeleteTake it easy dear. Think through your decision thoroughly.
DeletePls think twice before u file a divorce. God hates divorce, u will one way or d other pay for it. Once u divorce once, there's probability that it will re-occur my advice for u is to reconcile with ur partner, go to church, seek d face of God, go for marriage counselling/ seminars together and u may decide to go for deliverance too, all these will help u. Best of luck in ur marriage!
Deleteleme tel u dis plz,divorce is nt d solution ok?most divorcees who remarry often experience d same situation that caused deir previous divorce,listen up!God never said marriage is going 2 b easy,marriage is not a bed of roses,marriage is work,marriage is a battle wit no surrender,marriage is enjoyable 2 dose dat ar enduring.But dose dat expects sweet witout sweat or pleasure witout pains are setting demselves for great disapointment,marriage is not for quiters,d beauty of marriage is in enjoying d ups nd endurin d downs,learn 2 forgive no mata wot,understand we ar humans,get on ur knees now hand in hand together nd pray,fast and fight ffor ur marriage,no retreat no surrender!!! our parents suffered all dese,yes de were cheated on,beaten yet de stayed 4 u,y dont u stay 4 ur kids even doh u may not have now,plz stay,work it out,tolerate!
DeleteNa tru talk sha, but I think for men its a lot easier than women a man can get married at whatever age he decides coz spermatoza has longevity unlike eggs.
ReplyDelete* it is not a beans o*
.....and if because of spermatozoa longevity, a man marries at 40 or older, won't he train his kids till old age? when your mates have become grand parents and eating the fruits of their early labour, you will still be attending PTA meeting at hour children's primary school
DeleteLmao Teetoo
DeleteI love Tayo to pieces
ReplyDeleteDidnt know someone else thought deep about what Uti said. Now he has subtly cleared any doubts I had about his sexuality. UTI is 100% STRAIGHT. Because he is not doing what society thinks is the normal thing to do people have gone paranoid labeling him Gay. Like seriously????? I remember the very first time Uti was booted out of BBA, Lucille. He was so into her that when she got evicted, he went into a fit of rage and jammed the doors. Africa picked on the negative and thought he was a bad person, the following week of lucille being evicted, Uti was eveicted too. Same feelings he had for Sheilla. One thing I think restrained him from pursuing/declaring his like for Sheilla was the fact that the latter is Bisexual. Africa especially Nigeria will not condone that relationship and so Uti had to let go. Uti carry go jare. Nobody has seen Ebuka Uchendu's girlfriend does that make him gay too????
ReplyDeleteJust asking
@ 3:11, Ebuka dated Lamide for a long time before they both started presenting on Ebony life, so we've seen Ebuka's Babe or ex Babe
DeleteOmg! Ebuka dated Lamide?? They are handling things quite well on "The Spot" ooh..i even feel he likes Zainab sef...
Delete@anony...I also remember how unemotional Uti was towards Sheila during their first season..he friend-zoned Sheila terribly...I feel his attraction to Lucille was because Munya fansied her!! he has always felt he's in competition with him..and that was not a show of affection..he threw tantrums and broke plates! I don't know about his sexuality but I cannot categorically say he is straight just because of your points above..
Anon 3.11.Bless you! Uti is straight! I ve said it a billion times! His problem is that he used too many girls,who got scorned,collaborated with ex paddies of his who got jealous of his fame and fortune and crowned him gay! Uti slaughtered them babes in large numbers at Benson Idahosa University! True to my heavenly father! Believe me,I know uti reach boxers! Also,he was always laughing at gay dudes,naim dem call am join! Shiella he would ve married,but he dumped her when he knew she kissed and fondled Meryl! Stop these lies!!!
DeleteLmao @wide eyed. This got me rolling
Delete*True to my heavenly father! Believe me,I know uti reach boxers*....
Explain further please
Lmao @wide eyed. This got me rolling
Delete*True to my heavenly father! Believe me,I know uti reach boxers*....
Explain further please
Wide eyed, I have officially stopped taking you seriously. Which Uti is not gay... Is it the same Uti we call " Aunty Uti"? For you to swear join sef shows you have been lying a lot here. Now the question is, are u related to him?
DeleteU guys r saying things u don't know . We were in d same secondary school. N he liked b did guys then. He hasn't stopped it o. So shut up. U ve no idea who u guys r defending. I rest my case.
DeleteEddy
That's jst d basic truth! U hv to be ready...same ting I told my sis few weeks ago 'marriage isn't for everyone, some pple won't even marry. '' bitter truth'
ReplyDeleteHe is right. I got married barely a month ago and I have already started asking myself why I did. It's not like I am having problems or anything. I just don't see the need. I love my old life when I could do as I please. Now I have to move to an environment i don't want to live in and meet people I would rather not. I am afraid that I may become miserable. Why did I get married then, you ask? Pressure. I wish I had stood my ground. Marriage was never my cup of tea.,if I had my way, I would have remained single. Happiness is relative. I found mine in my solitary life. And now. I have to talk when I don't feel like, share my bed with someone I don't necessarily care about. And put a fake smile on my pretty face when people come to visit. Perhaps, the only regret I would have had of not getting married was having kids.
ReplyDeleteI wish you had married someone you love and care about.
DeleteNa wah o
DeleteMy friend settle in and make the most of that environment!
DeleteRelate with people if you want to or avoid them respectfully.
Your pretty face won't crack if you smile genuinely.
Humble yourself and you will begin to enjoy that marriage.if after all these,you are still in doubt,il forward your question to Tyler Perry!
I agree with Viva.
DeleteYou sound like an introvert. You obviously didn't fall in love with your hubby but dear, love is beyond feeling. Love is also a decision coz feelings fly outta the toilet window before you blink in the heat.
Let go and face it. Learn to love him. You could get a free online consultation with a marriage counsellor, it helps if you truly want to make your marriage work. Hopefully with kids arrival, you'll feel better but I advise you work on it now to avoid being hateful and resentful towards him and all that he stands for
Sweety. You would have married someone you care about and your in love with.
DeleteOne thing is certain : marriage is a God ordained institution and the chaos we are seeing now which is yet to come is because we have tried so hard to enjoy and.make it work on our own.
Love is not a feeling, it's a decision, it's commitment. So even when your spouse annoys you, still have that at the back of your mind that ave made this decision and so am in it. Marriage can not thrive on chemistry only!!
I heard it too back then that love is a decision, u grow in love with someone but I know better now. There is truly something like falling in love. That is what will help u overcome the trials in marriage. I married someone I felt I would grow in love with, 10 yrs down the line, I regret bitterly that I did. His bullshit no be here. I'm tired!
DeleteAww! Anony, I feel like giving u a big hug n whisper into ur ears dat with tym u wl get used to ur new environment/marriage. Some 6yrs ago I spoke like u. Barely a month after my flamboyant wedding in Abj sheraton I almost ran bk to my parents. I cried all day on phone begging my mum to ask me bk. My hubby was so worried. I ddnt marry out of luv bt out of pressure frm my parents cos dey r family friends wt my parents inlaw. My dear, ask me hw marriage is today, I wl gladly tel u my marriage is d BEST! D luv grew with tym, I dnt wish to be wt any oda person anytime anyday apart frm hubby. I LOVE him moredan me now lol! I ve got 3 adorable kids, I enjoy my marriage like kilode. So my dear anony, pls just calm down, I ve been in ur shoes dnt mind dos whining mouth cos dey married out of luv. Worry not, wit tym d luv wl grow n u wl become a very happy woman. Don't forget to always put it in prayers I did too. Gud luck! *hubby'sbestfriend*
DeleteMy dear anonymous 3:18 u are nt alone in this. I got married in Sept.and I regret getting married to my husband becos I don't av any feelings for him. We dated 2 yrs before he left nigeria and I promised to marry him he came dis yr and we eventually got married. Ever since then I have been miserable. He is so jealous that he chooses what I wear. Anytime he wants sex he will jst jump on me without any foreplay. It's hell on earth, he almost choked me to death one night after a little argument I was almost gone I even shit for body sef. The problem is dat we are nt in naija I for don run since. If I report him to anybody they always tell me to bear it, the marriage is all about him. If I leave him people will say all sort of things becos his parents warned him against bringing me to London that I might run away so I don't want to fall in their mouth that's y am still here. Am so depress I don't knw what to do he told me that he will kill me and go to jail that he is a cultist. I never saw these when we were dating if not I wouldn't av married him. The marriage don tire me I swear. Before I say anything he will tell me that he's the one that brought me here so he will do as he please with me. I just wish I was never born.
DeleteI would go with iphea here, I understand that feeling when all you are is being tampered with. You just gotta adjust ehn!
DeleteTake things easy, love yourself more and also your man. Try not to think too much of your single life
I would go with iphea here, I understand that feeling when all you are is being tampered with. You just gotta adjust ehn!
DeleteTake things easy, love yourself more and also your man. Try not to think too much of your single life
Miss Gemini is that you? Nne marriage is for a life time, and it's barely months? Smh
DeleteAnonymous 7:18 are u stupid? Do you want to be a statistics of women killed by their husbands? Start gathering money together secretely and find your escape... Who the hell are his parents u want to please and allow him kill you? Start documenting all he does to you with time, date and if possible pictures..... Tell your family what is going on.... He is just intimidating u cos u are new abroad.... Don be afraid and don't allow a man kill you for nothing....God will not give u an award
DeleteAnon 7:18, record his threats on ur phone, gather money, be saving from grocery money and making demands on him, even take his money, take pictures of bruises injuries, save ur chats, everything, make good friends, join a good church like Redeemed, then wen u r ready to leave, go to the police, report him, then move on. If possible come back to naija sef
DeleteHmm. Contrary to his belief, nobody was born to be single. Its a personal decision. I feel the spate of divorce is high because most people get married for the very wrong reasons . People make una shine una eyes well well o. Marry for the right reasons.
ReplyDeleteBless you for this. No one was born to be single.
DeleteNo!!! Some were born single! Nuns,priests,Cossy,moheeda,Afro candy etc!Not everyone will marry!
DeleteMaheeda is married
DeleteMarriage isn't a joke o.
ReplyDeleteToo many ppl marry 4 d wrong reasons .
That's y d rate of divorce in high.
Smh
WORD
ReplyDeleteWORD
ReplyDeleteI swear it's not by age anymore, you have to be spiritually and physically ready....
ReplyDelete*teamsingle4life*...#sipsMoetnChandon#
ReplyDeleteHe is right. I got married barely a month ago and I have already started asking myself why I did. It's not like I am having problems or anything. I just don't see the need. I love my old life when I could do as I please. Now I have to move to an environment i don't want to live in and meet people I would rather not. I am afraid that I may become miserable. Why did I get married then, you ask? Pressure. I wish I had stood my ground. Marriage was never my cup of tea. If I had my way, I would have remained single. Happiness is relative. I found mine in my solitary life. I used to love coming home from work, to peace and quiet. Sleeping through the night with no interruptions. Not having to cook anyone's meals. And now, i have to talk when I don't feel like, share my bed with someone I don't necessarily care about and put a fake smile on my pretty face when people come to visit. Perhaps, the only regret I would have had in future of not getting married was having kids. I can't have kids out of wedlock. For me, marriage is just an inconvenience. This is my opinion which no one has to share.
ReplyDeleteNOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO BE MARRIED AH, Uti if you talk that one near naija woman she will bind you and cast you. You don't know they live to get married.
ReplyDeleteLMAO.
DeleteTrue though, it takes maturity and patience to be happily married
ReplyDeleteMtchewwwww
ReplyDeleteDoes Uti look like someone who has ever had a soft spot for the opposite sex??
Marry at 40 ko, divorce at 41 ni
I think I can help with marriage issues, I was born for this.
ReplyDeleteCure Ringworm first
DeleteLmao. ..Irene just killed me....TC
DeleteUti is stylishly telling the Nigerians not to expect marriage from him in the near future! Buhahahaha. Ok Sir! It is actually not for everyone
ReplyDelete*remove "the"
DeleteHe is right. Marriage is not for everybody.
DeleteIphie,sometimes reason so stupid and childish
DeleteVery true pray for God's direction before u do
ReplyDeleteThe rate of divorce is really high.
ReplyDeleteI believe with prayers and dedication to the marriage by both parties it will be alot easier.
Devil is really waging war against a lot of marriages but with God all things are possible.
The first comment fear me pass anything.....eh "share your bed with someone u necessarily don't care about" now that's MANAGE not MARRIAGE, May God help us all.
ReplyDeleteTrue talk but commit it to God and go ahead but marriage is ordained by him
ReplyDeleteOriegwu!!
ReplyDeleteWhen someone doesn't know how to dance,they blame it on d ground and say it's slippery.
Kwakwaooohhhh!!!
DeleteAla na ami ami!!
Ebea shiga ashiga!!!
Ezenwanyi, Chizoba ibeabu sometin can never comment except u do. Dunno if u re her mother. Pls try dey comment mk she too dey comment since u re her role model. Bhahahaha! Oriegwu!
DeleteFor once, I totally agree.... Lol...
DeleteEzewanyi,watch your steps.you just slipped on that comment.
DeleteANGELRAY SAID
ReplyDeleteUti is right, people marry for reasons like, all my friends are married, my younger sisters are married, everybody around me is married, and they end up marrying demons, after 8 months they are already thinking of divorce.
Not everyone is getting married and getting divorced......some people, despite the quarrels which are inevitable, are enjoying their marriage.
ReplyDeletePray about it, go with God. The main problem is going without God and calling on him when the problem arises.
Now, leaving spirituality aside, a lot of people had sex with their partners before marriage and, funny enough, 70% of them are happily married. I'm not for fornication, I'm just saying that not sleeping with him doesn't mean he's going to love and respect you.....in selecting a partner, be selfish, find out if you can live with his/her bad part......these days, we don't look too deep.
Finally, endurance should be a part of your marriage. (some people will get me wrong here)
Above all, always go with the maker....
That's the keyword, be SELFISH
DeleteI trust Nigerians to start reading different meanings to what Uti said. He said things that made a lot of sense,this write-up dnt even report all he said. I agree with most of the things he said though.
ReplyDelete#BBhotshots#
if he doesn't wanna settle down, he shouldn't make it look like d rate of divorce is this case.so many ppl ve lovely homes, y not look at d positive marriages?
ReplyDeleteY not promise urself a good one,
U should b matured enough to know this.
Heard too many gay stories about this nigga, he should just relax already.
Though he made a point but God never wished anyone to b single.
Y then did he ask us to go into d world n multiply? .
Uti, chillax, u don't want to b married period! Stop making ppl eat into ur decision.
Shut your stupid mouth.... Does he owe u an explanation.... Is he the first guy of his age to have reservations about marriage.... Uti is gay as if he has fucked your fathers yansh before..... Rumours u heard and cannot be proven should stay dead... The young man cannot comment about any thing without idiots like you forcing the meanings on us... Haba
DeleteBloody tadpole, y did u choose to b an anon? U r d idiot. Na na ur own papa nyash him fuck. Ewu nama. Bloody coward. Y u no show urself make I know as I want take answer u. I dropped my own opinion n ei dey vex u. Stupid thing.
DeleteOr r u Uti, ?
Smello
It's true Uti. Tayo Tayo d very guy,i just love him on neutral grounds,&Pray he wins dis.
ReplyDeleteHe's right. People need to ask themselves certain questions before getting into marriage.Look out for meaningful things while courting and not silly and material based things.."when someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou...Don't expect that someone will change after you get married to them. It's not possible. What you see is what you get and like they say. If you can't live or tolerate certain things then don't even bother.
ReplyDeleteThe rate of divorce these days is alarming! and it scares me any time I log onto Facebook and see wedding invites... A family friend's wife packed up her things this last Sunday,took one of their cars, dragged her 2 years old son and left her matrimonial home. And she's even expecting baby no.2. What happened? The husband freaked out when he learnt that the said wife summoned his mother, her mother-in-law who came to visit asking her to bring her bag (as I gathered the woman was supposed to travel back to the East the next day)that she wants to search the contents!Imagine that?..The poor woman actually obeyed o. She took the bag into her room, and while searching the bag,the wife found a bottle of wine carefully wrapped with a cloth and started shouting at the old woman that so she came to visit them from the east so that she could steal from them. kai!Somebody's mother!Her own son's house?!chai! She didn't stop there o! She went into the pantry and the fridge and took out all the food stuff in there and locked them away in her own room. Bikonu who does that? When the son returned and heard what happened he got very upset which is understandable and that was how their quarrel started.The following day, the woman took one of their cars,took her son and left their home.Please can somebody tell me if that woman is ready to be in marriage?Na by force say she must marry?I learnt that that's how she quarrels with her in-laws every time they come around.At this rate no be divorce them go do? Haba!Marriage no be by force my people.
There's something wrong with her...
DeleteI listened attentively to what Uti said about marriage day b4 yesterday(on tuesday) night n I must confess, he spoke so well n intelligently too. He said d truth about d present happenings in marriages in ds generation, n if he has chosen to take his time before getting married then that's very wise of him. Uti said something that caught my attention that night, He said he was @d club with some people including married men on a particular day, when it was around 2pm, he got up n said he was leaving for home, but a particular married man called out to him n was like Uti are u leaving already??? He said he was surprised how a married man felt so comfortable staying out of his home clubbing every weekend with reckless abandon? Uti said, he felt he should be d one as a single that should be asking d man why he was rushing home n not d other way round. He also said his parents were married for over 40+ something yrs before his father died, he swore that since he was born n became sensible, he has never once saw his mother slept alone without his dad sleeping beside her, I was super touched. Some coming from such a home n orientation, he knows that a lotta sacrifices has to be made to make marriages work these days, but such sacrifices is lacking in our society n d world as a whole. Brilliant observation from Uti. Btw I like biggie's twist to da game ds year, Vimbai is really pushing Ellah's bottom n she is falling like a child. Tayo d realest housemate n d best person to win da money, he is da most deserving winner, he never gossips, he is very straight forward, says his mind n never gives a damn. Macky2 is just over rated, very boring guy. Sheila is something else, while Idris messing up with dem girls emotions. JJ is sick n a gossip. Butterfly has no mind of her own. D addition of Natasha n Elikem to d game till mon is crazy, Miss P is crazy, Lmaooooout.
ReplyDeleteI feel like giving this anon a hug. You watched,listened and understood him well.
DeleteTayo is real and I want him to win but I jst need him to work on his temper.
Idris is cool too
Yea,Tayo is quite ill tempered and too disrespectful to d guests!...when someone is ahead of u,hes already there,the best u can do is deal with it,he needs to learn dat!
DeleteIn all,d game is only a bit interesting cos of d guests,wonder what will happen when dey leave.
This is officially d most boring BBA ever!
@ alloy, I can't agree less. The thought of marriage scares me sometimes. Lord we singles o. @ Ed dream, you are funny I must say
ReplyDeleteI ld say marriage ain't for everybody.... Nd its high time nigerians stop being too judge nd religious.....d quicker we realise dt the more money we save oo.....people spend millions of naira on weddings dah dnt even lst up to three years....some people repeat the protocol thrice or four times......if nigerians ld jst realise dah marriage isn't for everyone, it ld save us a whole lot of money oo....especially the aso ebi buyers nd our nt soo rich parent......but contrary to wat he sed,nobody was born to b single
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I don't watch this present bba. My husband is in shock. He can't believe it. I don't even know what's going on,I don't watch updates or even evictions anymore. This is really becoming worrisome rp my hubby.
ReplyDeleteYou know if he feels he knows me by the books,like he knows what I would be doing at 5 pm even when he's not with me,my life use to be so planned but now I don't do things that way no more. I take a day as it comes. Lol. He can't just figure me out anymore
Okay,back to marriage matter,marriage is really sweet when you marry the right person. That person that makes you smile,laugh and do little xhit chats her and there when their is the time for that. There are days that are annoying . trust me there are days I don't wanna see my husbands face or even listen to what he has to say but those days can't be compared to the says where we have our happy moments.. Those days are easily forgotten while the happy moments lingers on.
Marriage would be enjoyed if you don't go on with so much expectations. Then playing the fool at some point but not all the time. Been tolorative and patient. Then understanding each other very well. All I listed goes two way.
But some people go in expecting so much,when they get disappointed,they start crying divorce.
Did the comment I just finished typing dissappear??
DeleteFab mum u really fabulous, nice one on marriage.
DeleteOnly if ladies would be patient enough
DeleteI think my distractions has to do with being a mom...I have watched from season 1(not as much) to this last season(religiously)..but with this one..dunno...I have just been so not interested...I think sdk blog is a substitute for it too!hehehe
DeleteMy own case be say, my hubby don't talk much or play around. He is boring. I'm the one that always initiative conversation. Very very very boring marriage. I like to play around and laugh alot. I miss that in this marriage. How I wish the hand of clock can go backwards so I can say yes to marry my first man. I miss him dearly. My excuses was too much and he was desperate to settle down. He did b4 I marry my hubby.
DeleteAnon 9:20 You don start. When he becomes exciting and other babes start eyeing him you'll start crying foul. He's not boring, you lack initiative because he's not complaining. Bring on the excitement and teach him. Every one is not the same. He'll appreciate it.
Deletelol, i was just telling my mum about this.... smh
ReplyDeleteGod did not create married couple,he created adam and eve, adam married eve,so it was adam's decision to marry, singleness was God's original plan matt 19, and gen1,some us have not worked on ourselfs yet we want to marry,dont put pressure on yourself or let anyone to,marriage is design only for earth, there is no marriage in heaven,some people had a promising life but marriage derailed their purpose! Ther few things God hates and divorce is one of them! Please work on yourself,you bring to marriage what you are as single,there is no magic to that!is better to be single than get married and divorce...God help all the single
ReplyDeleteGod's purpose is singleness?..den why did God say 'it is not good for man to be alone' wen He created eve?...rubbish talk
DeleteMy thoughts exactly......how is God's purpose singleness, dude u really need to study the scriptures properly
DeleteRubbish. U ain't a good bible student. Go back n read ur bible B4 u try to talk about it.
DeletePls all u pple saying Ebuka dated Lamide Akintobi are nothing but propagandists, they never dated. Lamide is veteran producer, Laolu Akins daughter. Ebuka wanted to use Lamide to cover his shade, Ebuka is a closet gay and is is confirmed that he's secretly dating Dimeji Alara, the fair skinned editor of Genevieve Magazine
ReplyDeleteNB: Stella I'm watching u, I don't know if u singled my posts out to be eaten cos u have never posted my comments on various topics, even what I posted under the most embarrassing/ hilarious moments.
I read this comment and I felt really bad for you.
DeleteYeekpa! That cute dimeji? OMG! I'm sad.....TC
DeleteUti is right, but also whenu marry a man who understands u, ur own man ordained by God..... Hmm marriage can be sweet. And may divorce never be our story here amen.
ReplyDelete@Viva Ciara@ Ariana loves wide eyes, thank you for your kind words. Your comments actually reduced me to tears. You aremright i am an imtrovert. I wish I had married someone I loved too. I was in love with someone actually, I thought he didn't love me. Until it was too late. But unfortunately, by then a date had already been set. You can only imagine how heartbroken I was (i still am sometimes) having to go to work with him, seeing and interacting with him and knowing nothing would come of it. Word has it that he actually cried the day I got married.
ReplyDeleteI will as you girls advised to make it work. Thank you. It feels good letting it out to people I don't know. Now I will go back to pretending I'm ok and happily married.
Honey,cut all ties with that guy..focus on making lemonade out of the lemons life handed you...
DeleteI am praying you will come back and tell us how beautiful your marriage is..how in love you are...it is possible....
It is normal to have these feelings you are talking about be you in love or not. You are going through a phase and foundation setting stage of your marriage. Give yourself time, relax and don't expect too much too soon. It is a strange and new territory for both parties involved. Just pray to God daily about how you feel and what you will like. You will get there, trust God.
DeleteMarriage is overrated, but I bless God cos he gave me one of d best men he created as a hubby, and one thing I have come 2 understand is that the good girls end up marrying d bad guys dat treat them bad, I have 2 female friends dat are very nice and good wives but guess wha? Their hubbies are cheats, does not care about how they feel ,treat them like slaves, smokes, parties, keep late night and d list goes on, one of them has left d marriage, some men are irresponsible
ReplyDelete3:11, you love yourself too much. which is good and bad at the same time.
ReplyDeletebad because you are already sounding so selfish and self centred.
make some changes and start embracing your new life and world.
life is a phase. adjust to the new phase you just stepped into and you will be fine.
remember you can never enjoy it until you embrace it.
Teetoh, you are a funny guy or girl. this your answer dont have rival. see as you summarize getting married at old age. i hail you
ReplyDeleteThis tin Uti is saying , I don talk am since world war one! Me I no dey marry, I no dey born any pikin, shikena! The only bad thing about it is that I might have to be changing boyfriends almost every now and then because they would want to settle or marry or bla. I just wish I would meet a man who doesn't want marriage or kids later on sha because my present boyfriend is really okay for me and Im happy with him but he thinks/hopes I would change my mind about this marriage thing soon. I just pray he doesn't wake up soon and resent me for wasting his time because nothing is going to change my mind.For now its my doctorate, followed by post doc and God would decide next, I just hope he doesn't have marriage in His plans for me, its not worth it!
ReplyDeleteMarriage is good and awesome when you are married to your friend........
ReplyDeleteAs of Uti, I think he is a gay!
Abeg sharap Uju. People like u should stop speaking n commenting like dummies. It takes a gay to know a gay. Leave Uti alone, na una know who be gay. The guy has spoken well, yet u see people making stupid stories up. Have u seen him pants down with a man before u?? Na wa 4 peeps like u oh! Nobody de ever good for una eyes. Mtchewwww!
DeleteAbeg STFU....just because someone doesn't want to get married doesn't mean they are gay...
DeleteI married the best man on earth...#teamenjoyingmymarriage#
ReplyDeleteIf you marry your husband you will enjoy it. I am enjoying mine seriously.
ReplyDeleteDivorce rate is truly alarming here..may God help us and give us the grace to learn to keep our marriage..
ReplyDeleteMost young people's idea of marriage are based on hear say, experience from their family backgrounds and sometimes movies and novels.
ReplyDeleteSuch a serious institution like marriage requires formation and training before one embarks on it but this is lacking in our country. Apart from marriage classes before the wedding, rarely do couples go for further classes on how to make the marriage work.
I was once fed up with my marriage cos I felt unappreciated and over burden. I was miserable, DH was equally tired. We refused to accept each others weakness and thus, selfishness became the order of the day.
I made the mistake of hanging with "so-called" tough women, who don't take shit from their men and joined in their "Idon't give a damn". I was making a lot of money from my job so I felt on top of the world.
After 5 yrs, I started looking for help. I became ashamed of the constant screaming, arguments, disagreements and fights. My marriage was a regular topic in our various families. My work was suffering, Hubby tries to avoid coming home. It was a complete mess.
I cried and asked God for help. I asked around for marriage counsellors but a lot of people told me to forget it. I knew we needed help but I didn't want to involve our families again cos they made things worse. Thankfully, I heard about NAFAD (Nigerian Association for Family Development) and decided that I and hubby should take a course. It was difficult to convince him to give it a trial but God intervened and to the Glory of God my eyes were opened to the mistakes we ve been making.
10 years down the road, I can say the communication btw us is superb. Now I know marriage can truly be about partnership and love.
I pray for every family in distress. I pray that pride be thrown away and help be sort.
Sorry for this long epistle.
utuocha,tnk u so much,God bless you,uv said it all,u must b vry intelligent 2 hv worked out ur marriage,iff its som pple now de wil wan2 file 4 divorece bt 4 u divorse isnt an option,nice to know,
DeleteMost young people's idea of marriage are based on hear say, experience from their family backgrounds and sometimes movies and novels.
ReplyDeleteSuch a serious institution like marriage requires formation and training before one embarks on it but this is lacking in our country. Apart from marriage classes before the wedding, rarely do couples go for further classes on how to make the marriage work.
I was once fed up with my marriage cos I felt unappreciated and over burden. I was miserable, DH was equally tired. We refused to accept each others weakness and thus, selfishness became the order of the day.
I made the mistake of hanging with "so-called" tough women, who don't take shit from their men and joined in their "Idon't give a damn". I was making a lot of money from my job so I felt on top of the world.
After 5 yrs, I started looking for help. I became ashamed of the constant screaming, arguments, disagreements and fights. My marriage was a regular topic in our various families. My work was suffering, Hubby tries to avoid coming home. It was a complete mess.
I cried and asked God for help. I asked around for marriage counsellors but a lot of people told me to forget it. I knew we needed help but I didn't want to involve our families again cos they made things worse. Thankfully, I heard about NAFAD (Nigerian Association for Family Development) and decided that I and hubby should take a course. It was difficult to convince him to give it a trial but God intervened and to the Glory of God my eyes were opened to the mistakes we ve been making.
10 years down the road, I can say the communication btw us is superb. Now I know marriage can truly be about partnership and love.
I pray for every family in distress. I pray that pride be thrown away and help be sort.
Sorry for this long epistle
THANK YOU!
DeleteHad to change my blog name cos of monitoring spirits.
ReplyDeleteAnd btw, I dreamt of this blog this afternoon! Dreamt I won something! Hian.
The way Marriages are packing up these days is truly alarming.
ReplyDeleteI cant stress emough how important it is to marry your friend. It is good to marry one you are in love with but more important if he or she is capable of being your friend, Your #1 fan, teammate, bff &gff, confidante, etc.....so that when the flame of love fades, these will be heat to keep your marriage warm.
Marrying your friend is worse. You mean marry someone who you can be friends with. Love above all. I have some friends who are great friends as guys. But we will kill ourselves as lovers cause there is no love at all between us. Marrying friend no follow o. Friend relationship and marriage is a totally different ball game. Not comparable at all.
DeleteJust when your forget he exists, he just rears up to remind you.
ReplyDeleteUti na true you talk so!
ReplyDeleteMarriage scares me....I think of it, and hope to settle someday and have beautiful kids. ...I have friends who are married, even younger people too, and I ask myself why I am not married? But i know i am not ready, even if i am in my late 20's. My ex bf got married awhile ago, and wanted me, but om the condition that i dont go abroad for studies, but nahhhh I refused, and I don't regret it, cos I am living my dream. I pray you find happiness in your home poster 1, I won't sugar coat it to say I believe love grows with time, cos I don't think it does...but I am with prayers, there's nothing God cannot do....Good luck.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile Stella, abeg why hausa men dey marry second wife, even when they have super gorgeousness at home? ...TC
Marriage is a beautiful union ordained by God...personally I feel people go in expecting too much...Even when you,re single,there are issues once in awhile between you and parents,siblings,friends etc...so I really dn,t get it when you get married and any small palava you start thinking about getting divorced...In summary,look before you leap!
ReplyDeleteWhen ladies have destroyed their womb with abortion, they will start saying they don't want to have kids or get married so that the world doesn't know. Ladies also with terrible characters that don't want to change or have been dumped multiple times by men because of it just settle with the excuse that marriage is not for them. this life is not about us, It is about the other person, your husband or your wife. We are created to serve and to have a help mate. That crap about being single is devilish and always made by wicked, unreasonable, selfish, ungodly people who fear and respect nobody. They don't want to live under any rule.
ReplyDeleteTO THAT ANONYMOUS that treats the husband anyhow, that said "I share my bed with someone I don't necessarily care about" I feel for your husband. Your ex who you said didn't show you much love while you were dating is now sowing devilish seeds of regrets in your heart. when men loose what they despise, they tend to take happiness from that person's home with their lies the moment they discover the lady has found happiness. Be wise dear, you have to embrace your husband, everything works for the good of those that love God. Start seeing your husband as God's gift to you. your past attitude can destroy your home. You are a social being and a gift to your world. when all is said and done, what will you tell your creator, "that you just tolerated your husband because you still loved your Ex", be guided.
I agree with Uti's school of thought...however, marriage is soo sweet when u find the right partner! Good luck to all the spinsters and bachelors in da HOUSE, may u find your right partners!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis your proverb carry weight @Ezenwanyi. Uti you can marry and make it work.
ReplyDelete