If you know anyone who is being physically abused by their spouse and you keep quiet,will you forgive yourself if the abuse results in death?
These victims cannot cry out becos they think where they are is better than where they should be......I dont care how many years a couple have been Married,the minute one party begins to physically abuse the other,then they dont/shouldn't belong together!
Please help this woman ......
Hi Stella,
My sister has been married to a beast in human form for 13yrs and not once in 12yrs (I discovered last year) did she ever speak out that he maltreats and beats her verbally and physically... even beating her to the point of fainting one day and hitting her on the head with the tank of i- better -pass- my- neighbour generator...
All we know is that she keeps on loosing weight and dark like an embalmed person... she looks like an old woman now and she is just in her late thirties.he has succeeded in cutting her off from associating with her family members...
He attends K&S,and he even went to bible school to be a pastor ooooh.we reported him to his pastor but we dont think he did anything becos he is one of their financial suppliers.
I had my introduction last Saturday and he did not allow her help me with any preparations,he stopped their kids from even attending despite their cries and pleas...she was crying bitterly when she managed to come for my intro saying she wants to leave but what will happen to her four beautiful kids becos she is not financially strong to cater for her kids alone becos she has been a house wife for long (thou she has a small shop were she bakes cakes etc and sell cake ingredients) .
This is a guy who had nothing when he married her, my parents footed their wedding expenses 100% ....he buys everything in the house from meat to salt so there is no how she can gain anything...she has no good cloths or shoes whereas he wears costly wears.....
i need advise on how to help her because i fear ibam loosing my sister gradually to death...
Blog Visitor SDKlastborn
Please contact her on her email if you can help her sister free herself from bondage.lastborn29@yahoo.com
What on earth is this wickedness. Why are there more beasts in our churches than we have outside there.
ReplyDeleteLast born please keep on encouraging her. Help her to know that something good will still come out of her life. I bet she's losing her self worth if not lost.
I believe some person's here will give you the right numbers/mails to reach so as to help her out of this bondage.
Women need to learn how to be strong. I always tell any woman I come into contact with to learn to be independent to avoid all these stories that touch. Success is not for the weak hearted. Fear of the unknown is what keeps us in bondage. She's the only one that can make up her mind to leave you can't do it for her. The only thing you and your parents can do is to support her and help her build her strength to say enough is enough.
DeleteIf ur parents could foot the wedding expenses...den dey shd be able to find some business for her to manage....this is what is sooo bass...ladies pls lests get a meaningful job to do b4 rushing into marriage!!!!#AMA Ghana#
DeleteIdiot which churches are u talking about? Stop insulting churches as if you are one not those who constitute the good ple.... I don't pity any woman who wants to die in an abusive relationship..... She has a cake business yet she thinks she is handicapped.... When the children leave the house nko.... If u want to help your sister you and your parents should forcefully go and pack her things out and bring her home.... Threaten the man to stay away.... If she carries herself back then get ready for her funeral..... Tired of women staying in abusive marriages
DeleteI sympathise with your sister. You and your parents need to get involved and free her from her bondage. If your parents could foot the bills of the ill-fated wedding, they should be able to support her till she gets back on her feet.
ReplyDeleteThis also emphasises the same mantra we have been preaching : a woman must have a reliable source of income, commensurate with her expenses. Financial emancipation provides a way out of such blood-sucking relationships.
I'll never understand why women are so quick to give up their financial freedom, all in lieu of answering MRS.,
DeleteI didn't spend six years in school to be living on 'hand me downs' from a man.
We preach about financial emancipation all the time yet you see some of these 22 and 23 year olds singing about marriage with no tangible source of income as back up. Having a good source of income is one of the best things that can happen to any married woman. Do not let the whole idea of being married cloud your judgement to the point of loosing your independence.
DeletePoster, I really feel for your sister. Your whole family need to come together and get her out of that farce of a marriage before that husband of hers destroys her.
As in!. I can't imagine not having a means of livelihood all in the name of bearing Mrs. Correct me if I am wrong, the woman described in proverbs 31 worked oh!
Delete"
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers......
She should leave please she has somewhere to go
ReplyDeleteMen do that when they know a woman is fragile, anxiety and uneducated.
ReplyDeleteThat's not true
DeleteAnxious, you mean ?
DeleteAnd not all victims of domestic violence are uneducated.
You'd be surprised to know that MOST of these women are on top of their career ladders.
Don't go stereotyping, doll.
Pls look out for Joel Okei Odumakin..
ReplyDeleteThat guy needs to be handled.
Goodluck !
Odumakin is the woman.
DeleteThe guy she meant is the husband
DeleteAnd it's *Joe
I guess it part of not geting to know someone good\bad, postive\negative attitude or character before geting married to them.am even sick and tired of all these chronicles..it scared the shit out of me when mentioned marriage..please you guys have to do something before you wakeup oneday to bury your sister
ReplyDeleteOh lord....... this still happens in dis century and time?
DeleteAll these tiger husbands beating &maltreating women like dis,what re dey thinking? Pls are there no law guiding against dis act,cos similar tin happened2 a vry far neighbour,always get beatings,&maltreated by her beast husband,d last one I heard she jump tru d fence2escape2 d police station,wt cuts frm d fence wires&bruises frm d beatings,na so he dey threaten her dt she wud die if she walks out on d marriage. Very nice lady I heard she is wt 2kids. D woman dey suffer oh. May God give me or smone d strenght 2 hlp go pull her out of dere. Cos ...so speechless4 nw
ReplyDeleteDoes your neighbor have family members that can help her out?
DeleteEeeeya....
ReplyDeleteDis is soooo sad...
Your own wife,ur very own wife???
*Shudders*
Really baffling....... When I tell people that my husband can't do somethings and how he treats me like an egg, some say it's cz I hv been married for just a little over a year.......
DeleteBiko Nne, you that have been married for several years, aren't you happily enjoying your marriage?
Azin eeehhh GW i follow u dey shout oo..after bride price,traditional and white wedding expenses,all the promises u made to her,her pain throughout child labour etc;you then finally turn her to a beating drum by abusing her physically and emotionally...to all those men abusing their respectively;i pray other men dont abuse ur daughter the same way too..cos only then will you know what the pain is like...bydway sdker's;is it right and just for male children in a family to fight their father when they ve had enough of him abusing their mum both physically and emotionally??? Iphie dearie,jenny A,Genny baby and others pls i need ur sincere answer with facts pls...
Delete@ martin aboy, I won't advice u to beat him physically, just neglect him and shower ur mum with so much love and gifts. I think that will send a strong message to ur dad. Like if u have 10k to give ur parents, give ur mum 9 and dad 1k. Hahahaha
DeleteMartins I can never advice anyone to raise their hands against their parents no matter their offence. Even if he attacks you run instead.
DeleteLike Anon 3:05 said, shower your mum with love and attention. If possible take her away from that house and get her another place to stay no matter how small. What matters is her peace of mind and safety.
You can also report him to his pastor, friends and family so they will talk sense into him. In extreme cases you can involve the police. If he still continues, just ignore him and cut off every communication with him while you keep your mum is a safe place.
I believe that will make him cool down and repent.
Thread with wisdom, never strike him so you don't bring curse upon yourself.
It is well my dear.
@martin aboy, to d question u asked, I have dis very very close cousin, that d father had many wives, they are 5 in number, the man beats them like hire wire, all of them ran away, remaining d last wife, before my aunt left, the man held my aunt arm out and stepped on it, meaning he broke her arm, on top of it, he bite her private very bad and d mark of his teeth was showing then, she could not walk then, fast forward to 2006, the man children are grown ups, I don't know what d last wife did to him, he started his beating, when he beats, is either he bites or use hot iron, u know d worst part of it, he marry them fair, very fair, in short oyinbo, u can image how opinion go be with wound or burnt skin. As the d man's boys (men) heard d beating and d shouting of there mother, step mother, they all rush to d main building, the man started shouting dat he is going to kill her, and if they come closer, dat he is going to destroy them @ ire akari, d boys rushed him, see beating, see panel beating, the man was fight back, forgetting say him don old, finally they tired there father down, when his head cooled down, they untired him. To cut d story short, dat beating made d man to change and calm, but d boys left there father house, and to crown it up, they are doing fine, in short very well, most of them married now, well all said and written, @times d children need to shake there father a beat, or else he will one day kill his wife, I no say make una beat una papa, come say na jennyA talk am. I rest my case
Delete@ Mrs D,u need to see my hubby and I After 6 years....its not 100% lovey lovey all d time Buh Dose trying times are settled wit love.
DeleteHave never gone to bed fighting.we must talk o,no seperate rooms or sleeping in d guest room....mbanu!
All dese years i have never ever called him by His name.its always baby.
and he too,never ever.its stil baby....
Ask ma kids Daddy's name,dey say "Baby" hahahahaha
My 6 year Old is aware now Buh Still forgets n says baby before she realises n corrects herself...hahahaha
Even wen i talk about him...Dats why u see i dont use DH,i use "the general"
Nne,wit God,things are Sooo Beautiful!..
A good Man Who has d Fear of God n Who loves u are what this younger Generation should be praying for...
I am just Sad for dis babe...
Imagine her tears n all d broken n unfulfilled promises he made to her in d earliest years....Chai
@ MartÃn,Nna is wrong.Soo wrong.no matter what he has done cos d Bible says we should honour our mom n dad so dat our days wil b Long.
What u can do is dis:call him n sit him down to a SERIOUS talk.be firm Buh respectful....tell him he MUST stop!
Cut His Allowance n any oda goodies.
Show ur mom extra extra love n attention.
Its well my dear.God bless u
@Anon,genny baby,jenny A,TGW,noted and thanks for ur respectuve contribution towards the topic....
Delete@MARTINS ABOY
I don't understand. ...how you need help? When you can always get a cab and pack all her things to your parents house. You didn't tell us how many kids
ReplyDeleteYou must be blind to read where she wrote four beautiful kids
DeleteWen re mind is made up she will leave
DeleteShe isn't ready yet
Is better ur kids see u alive than u dead and one wicked woman take over them
Leave now and manage with ur cake shop
U can move to ur parents house pending wen u get a place of ur own
ANGELRAY SAID
ReplyDeleteNa wao, wats stopping her from leaving that bastard, where are ur parents, most women are suffering and smilling in their marriages, abi them use super glue gum her yansh there.
OMG! She needs to run faster than ulsan bolt (hope am correct) i pray she gets help as fast as possible......but how did she cope all dis yrs,she tried ooh!
ReplyDeleteIt's Usain
DeleteLol, I thought it was Husain..... #covers eyes and runs away#
DeleteShe should leave ASAP even if there's no money. Before we start hearing another story.
ReplyDeleteClick Here
to visit my page
i feel so much for ur sister dear,really a pity dat a man dat proclaims he loves you can still raise hands to beat you without looking back.my advice is for your sis to tell ur parents about leaving and take dat step,once she makes that decision she will marvel at how help will locate her.waiting anylonger might result to death and God forbid dat she wont be there to reap the fruit of her labour in her children.pls let us know wen she has made the decision.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, I pray she finds the strength to leave him, won't b easy but I know God will see her through and her buisness will expand. For all you know he might just be sitting on her success. God must see her through.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
He's really a beast!
ReplyDeleteI wish she can poison his sorry ass
Animal of a husband...*bbmangrysmiley*
It baffles me how a man who will say and do anything just to make a woman his wife, will turn around and treat that girl like thrash.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your sis poster. She has to leave that marriage before she becomes a walking corpse. Please if members of your family can, give her some money to get an accommodation and to expand on her already little business. With time, she will get back on her feet.
13 yrs is a long time for someone to go through emotional torture. Please get her outta there before she loses her mind!
TGW, Sisi Eko, Genny baby, Ronalda, Iphie cutie, Qutie and others, awaiting your comments*smiles*
OMG!
ReplyDeleteI'm dumbfounded.
Wat do men gain frm al ds evil,sadist evrywea in human form.na y to marry de fear mi sef cos dem go de smile wen dating den beast wen married...
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
Tales of woe on such beautiful morning.
ReplyDeleteIt's well with your sister.
May she find the help she so desires.
My mrs(I was tempted to write dat name I like to call u),what r u doing on a domestic violence post?...oya run back to bbm n let's talk about our date...hehehehe
DeleteOh!..and she did *shinesteeth*
DeleteJealous much. .. you guys should enjoy oh, and make sure something good comes out of it
DeleteReally! For twelve years, and she's still in it. When she has a family to run to.I seriously do not understand why men resort to DV,nor why the abused women keep silent.Someone you swore to love and protect.
ReplyDeleteI also think that most women's problems, start,when they agree to sit at home, doing nothing and forming stay-at-home mums.
You hardly see an independent woman,staying through such horrible situations.
BV,if possible, get some hard evidence, get your sister out of that cursed marriage and sue the animal's sorry ass.He is fit for the zoo.
Such wickedness!
Na wa for this kind story.
ReplyDeleteI won't even type what I have in mind, it will just consume all the space.
Coming back to read people's comment. Na this kind story dem dey like.
Tales of woe.
Ehen! They haff started oo, if it was a man that posted this one, we would be hearing "IMO, this story is one sided, I can't judge", "let me sit back and wait for the other party's version", "Oga Abeg park well joor, what did you do, for her to treat you like this", "please mr man it is because she is financially stable, that's why you're feeling threatened", "AhhhhAnnn sir,only her did all these and you stood there watching, I don't believe you did nothing" and so on and so forth.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that Nigeria is a deeply sexist environment and both males and females are disadvantaged and I despise it so much that women love to play the victim every damned time! Didn't she see the signs when they were courting abi did it just start? If he wasn't always like that, what made him change? Did she cheat on him? There are so many questions to be asked and for once, I want to give a man the benefit of doubt.I for one don't think any man is an animal or a saint, everybody has their clock and depends on who they associate with, it can either tick clockwise or counter clockwise.
The other day Bitchplis(bent outta shape) cursed out the wife of a poster who allegedly left him for her ex and the blog family came down on him like a pack of wolves and I thought to my self, if a lady posted this,it would have been really different comments and I was right.Please only a man and wife know their true story, your sister should explain to you in all honesty and details where it all began.I rest my case! BTW, I'm a woman.
Anon 9:51 Biko chill!
DeleteNo matter what the wife did, he has no right, absolutely no right to beat her!
The best thing to do if she truly offended him beyond redemption is to send her back to where he married her from not beating her as if she is his slave or an animal.
Are you telling me you will clap for your daughter's husband if you find out he beats your daughter because she offended him?
How many women beat their husbands when they find out he is cheating? If women start beating up their cheating husbands or harming them in anyway they can do you think most of you men will be alive today?
I don't understand why women allow men to beat them. Them never born that husband who will beat me. When my own father never beat me as far as I can remember. Up on all my stubbornness.
Men who beat their wives have low self esteem so always hit their wives at the drop of a hat to boost their egos.
I'm sure that man can't stand when a tout in the motor park challenges him to a fight!
This same man won't dare open his mouth when his female boss runs him down with insults. It's only when it comes to his wife, he will have strength.
Coward!
I don't understand why women in abusive marriage stay on.
I don't understand why they keep it to themselves and even cover for the beast of a husband?
Next they say they don't have a place to run to. Did they drop from the sky?
The fear of the unknown is what stops mist from leaving, I'm sure.
But is it not better to be alive and well to face the unknown than to live in constant agony and torture from a man who is suppose to love, care for and protect you?
Who do women do this to themselves?
Why? Why? Why?
To think we have to power to finish these men in a twinkle of an eye...
Well, it seems these violent men choose their spouses well, they know the type of women they can break and they only go for them.
Nonsense!
Parents and relatives should act fast once they notice their daughter /sister is in an abusive marriage. I know my dad would have stormed my house if he dare suspects I'm being abused.
Let's always protect and look out for our sisters when they are in this kind of mess. Sometimes they may not have courage to leave on their own. It's our duty to drag them out of that hell hole with or without their consent and also deal with the motherfucker of a husband!
Will you shut that over flowing suck away pit u call mouth before I come there and shut it for you!! Eze ule dika gi
DeleteIf you are a woman then you should be ashamed of your disgusting self....so even if she's at fault nd a bad wife, he should kill her abii. If she's such a horrible person then the least he could do is send her packing finish!! Most men are just dogs nd devils...deal with it..!! Ike nsi
I wonder o...God bless u for dis comment
DeleteDear Anon,u have a point but i disagree with you to a large extent.
DeleteWhat could she have done for her to deserve 13yrs of maltreatment? not 1,2,3....13yrs. If her crime is/was unforgivable,then it would have been better he divorces her instead of humiliating her for 13yrs.
Talking about his attitude when they were dating,my dear may you not come in contact with a wolf in a sheep's clothing. Some men will play along,do all they can just to get the "YES I DO" and after that they show their true colour. its a gradual thing. they dont just start with the beatings,it starts from shutting the woman out of any meaningful conversation making her feel useless. From there,it continues to shouting at her at d slightest provocation and just one day,a slap will follow. And once a slap has been recorded....lobatan !!! any other physical abuse will follow.
Just yesterday,we read about d serial rapist. Some people knew him in school,church and other places as a "cool guy" but they never saw d demonic side of him. If his story didnt get to d public, he will someday propose marriage to a lady who only knows him to be the "cool guy", then after wedding, stories that touch the heart begins.
I know a lady like that ooo. She had a first class in her first degree while the man had third class, same course,same university.She later went ahead for MSC while d hubby couldnt cos of his third class. He tried stopping her from completing the MSC,d lady refused and that was when they started having problems. She was close to rags,an educated person ooo. She was a secondary school teacher before,then after she had her PHD,she got a lecturing job. Her hubby told her to resign from her lecturing job because he felt she is/was higher than him. He couldnt even go for his masters cos he never passed the entrance exam. This woman became a shadow of herself and if not for the support of her family,she probably would have died. So many times,her elder sister got the man arrested when he beats the lady. They met during their undergraduate days ooo,,they were both spirikoko(u know that kain thing) but see the way he turned out in marriage.
These days,even Pastors tell couples during the wedding ceremony that they will just begin to know each other when they start living together.
Hian! Some people's definition of 'Marriage' most times baffles me. 12years of suffering in silence? Haba! It's not a do or die affair abeg.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is for the family to quickly bundle her out of his house first, before the hus-beast kill her. Wicked man. Pastor my foot!
Gbam Manna Bee.
DeleteThey should also sue the hell out of the sorry excuse of a husband!
Her brothers and cousins should secretly arrange correct touts to beat the hell out of that man.
He needs to have a taste of his own bitter medicine.
Imagine beating someone's daughter and sister for 12 years! 12 good years!!!
Some families can swallow shit mehn!
I can't imagine this happening to me or mine and the family treats it with kid gloves.
SMH
Nke a bu 12 years a slave ni
DeleteHahahahahH Na rily 12 yrs a slave, dis blog can mk me laff wen I de vex lol
DeleteDomestic Violence scares the Sh*t outta me...God help your sis....Women should pls register for taekwondo classes and take it serious...just incase you never can tell when you'll be needing it, all these violent husbands need thorough beating
ReplyDeleteif your family could foot the bill when she got married,they should be able to get her out of their and help her until she can stand on her feet. get her out of there before he kills her and remarry after 3 months.
ReplyDeleteher life isnt over yet,she deserves to be happy
This is why i always preach financial power for women, if you work and make your own money you won't take all this shit from any man.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all poster, tell your sis- There is nothing wrong With trying to make your marriage work for Your kids. You took it a step further and became a stay at home with a business and ain't nothing wrong with that, with the animals disguised as house helps roaming free. But It's Been 13 years. The kids are no longer babies but now they need you most. You can't take Care of them when you're buried six feet deep. NO child will choose material things and abuse over love/care. Carry your LOAD And Go to your parents house with your KIDS WITH AS MUCH EVIDENCE Of THE ABUSE AS POSSIBLE. Face your business and if you're steadfast it will grow. You'll Be Shocked how well you'll do when you are away from that man. He resents you and will NEVER stop until he breaks/kills you. But poster, until she's serious bout Going there's nothing you can do but pray and investigate what your parents feel about handling domestic violence cases
ReplyDeletea man has no right whatsoever to abuse his wife, physically or mentally. it is totally wrong in all ramification. so many have died untimely by the hands of these beastly men, and they come to court and raise Provocation as a defence to their crime, to lessen their crime to manslaughter, Oscar Pistorious is a good example, he got only 5years for killing his girlfriend. Ladies pls speak up when a man decides to turn to a predator on u, let ur family and his family knw, becos anything can happen! pls SAY NO TO VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!!!
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I sympathise with your situation and pray that your sister gets out of the hurtful situation. I would like to ask if your sister is ready to leave her husband. That may really be your starting point. If she is not willing to leave, then you have to get ready for a serious battle o.
ReplyDeleteMay God see your family through. The heart of man is just too wicked!
Oga, note that the beating has lasted for 12 years. Only a beast, I repeat, ONLY A BEAST will consistently violate his wife for that long. Haba!
ReplyDeleteAnd, take this home, a woman is what a husband makes out of her. A woman gives what she gets. About the (wife snatching) story you referred to, no woman just wakes up one morning and starts acting up. You men sow seeds ignorantly, without knowing the kind of fruit that it will bring forth. Out of carelessness, men ignore the little cries and complains(which are very important) that women make, they take things for granted feeling that 'women nag', 'women complain alot', etc. and before they know it, she has had enough (for the strong and stubborn ones), and starts acting (trust me) on the wrong signals that was sent her way.
Give your woman what you want to get.
SDK lastborn, your sister already has a small business. Your family should look for another location for her business where she can continue when she leaves. You guys should take her out of that environment before her innocent kids become motherless. Let her start small, the business will eventually grow. With love and support, she'll be fine.
As for the beast she married, I don't blame him. I wonder why your parents would marry their own daughter for an idiot. Was she that old and desperately needed to marry? The mofo did not pay a dime on her, so he has nothing to really loose. He has now forgotten all that happened in the past and treating her like trash cos he got her easily and cheap.
Y'all should get her outta that house fast.
Abeg I can't proofread. *busy
Babes, where do I send my kisses to?? Your comment make sense!
DeleteAs in, she made sense die. I keep telling that idiot of a baby daddy that I am a reflection of the way he treats me and the dumb ass won't change. Yes I had to call him names cos he has caused me so much pain that envisioning life without him is quite easier than envisioning life with him. Mofo. Mschew
DeleteWonder y a woman will say she can't leave an abusive man simply because she is not financially bouyant. I know that times are hard but when you step out in faith God will definitely help. May God grant her the courage to step out in faith
ReplyDeleteMtcheeeeew! That's why to me, I feel marriage isn't worth it! Yes, I said so! Inasmuch as a lot of people cannot and are not ready to follow the manual of marriage given by God, marriage wl continue to be a nightmare!
ReplyDeleteIt still baffles me how a woman would hide such things from her family for so long and keep giving birth for such a useless man???? Rubbish!!
I personally haven't been as lucky in marriage and I have never hidden it from my parents cos Initially when I tried to 'manage' our issues, hubby would call them and as that they caution me and twist the whole story! It got to a point I discovered he was being manipulative cos he knew I didn't want my parents to keep worrying. I started telling them EVERYTHING!
There's a lot of pretense going on in marriage, people suffering, smiling and wearing 'and co' to parties! Ishhh...
Hhmmmmmm
DeleteIt is well withu my dear
**whistling**
Lol @ wearing and co. You are right o. I can relate with why u have to hide things from ur parents. Some people think it's because u are afraid of hubby or because you just want to be discreet. Not knowing that it's because u don't want ur family to disrespect ur hubby or see him finish.
DeleteMy own principle has always been, if I have issues that's beyond my hubby and I, I would rather take the matter to his people and not mine. For the same reason above...won't stand anyone from my side disrespect my hubby lai lai. but in a case of abuse, physical or otherwise, if no one from his side is seeing anything wrong with it then her family would be the last resort to handle it. Because no matter what, he cannot claim to love his wife more than her family.
I tell spinsters that, never marry a man whom u cannot find at least one person her reveres in his household that can put him to order when issues arise. If u look at a man's background, even females too o, and everyone in his/her family suck up to him and cannot talk serious sense to him because of what they gain from him/her, biko waka go front and start ur search for a partner all over.
I am even tired of passing comments on topics like this because it's same scenarios but different victims. As person don begin sound like broken record repeating the same advice day in and out. *sigh*
Didn't she see the signs when they were dating?
ReplyDeleteShe should follow pealie's advise..get a cab and get the hell out!!!
Worry about the kids and other tins later.
Ya'll go watch 'For colored girls', a black American movie and draw inspiration from that. Men can be beast sometimes but some women sit back and endure like their existence depends on it. Waiting for men to validate their lives. My friend,Biko tell your sister to get her things out of there and walk out. As far as I am concerned,any woman who stays in an abusive marriage is selfish because she doesn't want to step out and work extra hard to take care of her kids herself. She rather sit and receive all the slaps,forgetting that these things psychologically affect the children in the long run. You will make your girls never trust any man even if he is genuine or she will stay with a man who assaults her also because she feels it is normal. And your boys will most likely assault women also thinking it is okay. Woman,move from that house,it is not a healthy environment. My 2cents.
ReplyDeleteMary!!!
The way that mad loser tossed those kids from the window still sends shivers down my spine!! And the lady knew he was deadly...she stayed on out of self pity...#sad
DeleteSome men are terrible.. They cNt fight their fellow men bt find it easy to beat their wives especially wen he knows u cnt liv d marriage or u r not financially ok, d man wud use it against u.. Men with low self esteem
ReplyDeleteOya ooo, I haff vexed pa! What's going on here ehn Bitchpls and mrs bitchbiko? What is going on?!!!! I can't take it again oo, BVs come and save me ooo, imagine mrs bitch biko, who gave you the right to be having private bbm chat with bitchplis ehn? Yawa go gas ooo, I will soon go all Lara peperenpe on both of you and tear all my item of clothing (thong inclusive)! Bitchplis don't let me go to ori oke to pray oo, Oya come to me now, come back, come back now!! Mrs bitchbiko o kare oo, steady steady doing side chick things, don't let me catch you, segbon? I'm going back to consult ifa on what to do about the both of you.
ReplyDeleteAs for poster, go and drag your sister out of that marriage before it's too late! Though it's good to know both sides of the story, when one party is beginning to show physical signs of the stress then situation o wa risky ju ati wahala ti po bi yen.Let them separate for a while.
Lady buchi,u know av gat no'hin buh Luh for ya....dis could be us chatting n planning dates,visits(but we for dey split d ticket money if na u dey travel o)but u r never going to settle down or @ least till u r 33 or get ur phd(which I'd love my woman to have) + i'l be 41 den n u av a boyfriend..I love d fact dat 2 very intelligent ladies like my character on dis blog..am so pleased for dat...where do I send ur kisses to lady buchi n a***bi d ****by girl(my mrs)
Deleteplease dear tell her to move back to her parents house oh. before is too late.
ReplyDeleteIf you get to read this Stella, I would appreciate you make it a different post. Speaking on domestic violence, is there ever a chance that a man would never hit a woman again after he hits her once. My fiance hit, not once I mean like six times in once, I dnt even know if he is sorry although he apologized but will say something like it was your nonchalant attitude that made me hit you bla bla, anyway I am meant to get married to this man and I am scared and lack every excitement that comes with getting married, we have a child together, that is y I am even considering and hoping or trying to believe it would never happen again.
ReplyDeleteU have seen d sign n u r choosing to ignore it. No remorse sef.. save urself d future headache and call it off if not just set ur body for beatings. Use your head please. Being a single mum isn't a crime
DeleteOh dear! If he hits you once and blames it on you, then it is going to happen again and again and again. It's not going to stop until you stand up for yourself, defend yourself by any means necessary! If he slaps you, hit him too.
DeleteAnon 4:26, u are not married to him and he is hitting blue and black, because u have a child together, dat is why u are taking the beating, o ma see ooo, he will beat shegi comot for ur head. When he has started beating you it will continue and he will not stop until u do something about,
DeleteAnon, pack your bags please. I did what you did...I know what I am seeing pleaaaase.
DeleteThe lady is my aunty, nd she wasn't forced 2 marry him. My grandmother who happens 2 be her own mother took d beast in disguise as her son. We all loved nd accepted him. My grandma paid his sch fees @ Lasu. Paid 4 his wedding, deir 1st daughter's sch fees, he used 2 eat @ our house too. b4 he became financially ok. My aunt married him despite d fact dat he was poor with little education. My aunt is a graduate. He doesn't buy clothes for his children anymore. He cheats like dere is no 2moro. He beats his children like animals too nd d eldest is just 12yrs old. 4 every drop of tears u made my aunt, grandma, nd my whole family... U will suffer 4 it. Whatever u tink u av now will vanish as my aunt steps out of ur house.
ReplyDeleteThe lady is my aunty, nd she wasn't forced 2 marry him. My grandmother who happens 2 be her own mother took d beast in disguise as her son. We all loved nd accepted him. My grandma paid his sch fees @ Lasu. Paid 4 his wedding, deir 1st daughter's sch fees, he used 2 eat @ our house too. b4 he became financially ok. My aunt married him despite d fact dat he was poor with little education. My aunt is a graduate. He doesn't buy clothes for his children anymore. He cheats like dere is no 2moro. He beats his children like animals too nd d eldest is just 12yrs old. 4 every drop of tears u made my aunt, grandma, nd my whole family... U will suffer 4 it. Whatever u tink u av now will vanish as my aunt steps out of ur house.
ReplyDeleteUncle abi Aunty, leave story and move her and the kids out of the house.
DeleteNo use crying over split milk.
The lady is my aunty, nd she wasn't forced 2 marry him. My grandmother who happens 2 be her own mother took d beast in disguise as her son. We all loved nd accepted him. My grandma paid his sch fees @ Lasu. Paid 4 his wedding, deir 1st daughter's sch fees, he used 2 eat @ our house too. b4 he became financially ok. My aunt married him despite d fact dat he was poor with little education. My aunt is a graduate. He doesn't buy clothes for his children anymore. He cheats like dere is no 2moro. He beats his children like animals too nd d eldest is just 12yrs old. 4 every drop of tears u made my aunt, grandma, nd my whole family... U will suffer 4 it. Whatever u tink u av now will vanish as my aunt steps out of ur house.
ReplyDeleteNawa o. Anyway, i'm sure you have gotten an advice or two from people's comments. I just hope your aunt is ready to leave the house because that's what she needs for now.
DeleteThe Lord is her strength
Yes my parents sponsored their wedding because they were still working. But dey are retired civil servants now nd d government has refused 2 pay them deir pension. Aunty stella dis man made my aunt a full house wife or housemaid. She even sponsored herself with her catering training. I feel handicapped. I'm her niece dere is little I can do. My grandparents are nolonger as bouyant as dey whr b4
ReplyDeleteYes my parents sponsored their wedding because they were still working. But dey are retired civil servants now nd d government has refused 2 pay them deir pension. Aunty stella dis man made my aunt a full house wife or housemaid. She even sponsored herself with her catering training. I feel handicapped. I'm her niece dere is little I can do. My grandparents are nolonger as bouyant as dey whr b4
ReplyDeleteLmao.
ReplyDeleteI'm just grinning sheepishly here.
Hey Buch, there's love in sharing, innit ?
No need going the 'Aba Women riot's' way. Lol.
xo
When they tell girls to stop rescuing street rats, dem no go hear. On top i must marry. Even more annoying when the female members of the family join hands to "tush" the guy up. hehehe. How e no go panel beat am in future? Who made him? Some mere women. Dont be surprised if he is pampering one paraga seller who has 100 boyfriends and is an HIV case waiting to happen.
ReplyDeleteI don't like you saying she is getting darker, he could be poisoning her slowly.
ReplyDeleteThere is no amount of shame at a failed marriage worth a woman living in this condition. What is she teaching her four children about the spirit of a woman, or what a marriage is supposed to be about? They already know the level of violence in the home and the broken spirit, just shell of a woman they call mother, no child deserves to live in such conditions. They will be emotionally damaged for life if she continue to live with them in this condition. If she love her children she would leave, and no matter the hard days ahead for them financially it will work its way out.
She is going to sit and let a man kill her and then he replace her in two weeks. So some strange woman can come in and mother her children. Where is her fighting spirit, her survival instinct to live for the four children she grew in her womb? She may be broken, but not dead, so let her draw on the little she have left in her and make sure you and the family are ready to receive and help her. The healing process will be long, but please be patient and she will be transformed.
Let her go to an NGO that specializes in the issues of abused women and she will get help for her and the children. They will assist her with skills training and legal assistance. There is help out there!
Dis marriage thing sef na by force, its just sad that nobody is thinking of what the woman is going though, everybody tells you to endure bcos of the children, pls family support your girls lots of women are suffering bp bcos of fear of what people will say.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, it started from when the woman's parents footed the wedding 100%. No matter how broke a man is, if he wants to marry, he should handle some of the expenses.
ReplyDelete