I am just thinking..How serious should one take verbal abuse?
If you keep cussing me out with the things i confided in you with,should i ignore you or cuss you back with the things you confided in me with or just plain walk?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
A SPOUSE WHO USES WHAT YOU TOLD THEM AGAINST YOU WHEN THE
CHIPS ARE DOWN...
Dear Stella,
I am a regular BV but just need some advice on how to proceed. I got married 2 yrs ago and immediately had a baby. I loved this man when we got married and thought life will be alright with him. I am 30 and got married at 28 after a few years long distance relationship. Right from our honeymoon, he insulted me everyday over every little thing, insulted my parents who I love dearly and have given me the world and still do. Foreign education, stable finances, love and care.
It's so bad that every argument, he would call my dad names and my mum and siblings based on things I told him in confidence. At that point, it dawned on me that I had boarded one chance but I tried to be positive and try my best to love him regardless. It continued and still lingers.
Today, out of a small disagreement, he called my mum names and abused me that I am a nobody and will always remain one. Now Stella, I am no saint so I abused him thoroughly back (including his family too) because I am fed up of his lousy mouth. He hit me and did so repeatedly.
Stella, I detest this man so much and I have a wonderful little baby whom I adore. What do I do? I am at my wit ends. My heart says walk out of here and go home but my head says stay and fight for your home and your kids. Mind you, my parents are very comfortable but I know I cannot go back to them indefinitely. I just need a sounding word from you and your visitors. Thanks.
*This sounds like a one chance situation...you didnt give enough background info on your man and your explanation kind of tilts to one side.
Let me sit down and read comments.
...............................................................................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DATING A WOMAN WHO HAS ASTHMA,IS PETITE AND WEARS NO MAKEUP
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DATING A WOMAN WHO HAS ASTHMA,IS PETITE AND WEARS NO MAKEUP
Hi, Stella..I'm a bit confused..I'm dating a girl I met on Badoo during my NYSC in 2012..Since I got my job & was transferred to the east,eventually she visited me cos she's a Student in one of the high institutions in Delta..
Now we've being so intimate & she crazily turns me on but my problem is this; I'm 6ft 2" tall and she's around 5ft 5" and She's so petite that when we walk,its as if I'm walking with my Daughter..
She's so in love with me and whenever I leave for work,she cleans my house,wash my clothes,Suits and even underpants. She cooks and my colleagues are liking her but she's so petite for my height and I don't just know if I should continue....please I need words from sane minds and the major issue here is she's Asthmatic.
She had crises often and I don't wanna hurt her little heart..Should I indirectly cut off? Cos I love tall girls who wear mild and bold make-overs ... She hardly make-up/make over.
*I have a question,all these complaints you stated here,didnt you see them before you went intimate with her?why didnt you walk away then?why get her so committed and now looking for a reason to walk?
Now let me ask you....her frequent crisis is the problem right?why dont you look for a way to manage it with her if you love her?
I know women who have asthma and are married with kids...
Did she wear make up when you met her?
There is no easy way to breaking somebodys heart,if you are really keen on walking then walk but please let her know why so that she can find closure when you leave.
You know what?you are a coward and your excuses for not wanting her really hurt me.
Relationship expert over to u guys
ReplyDelete#1: E don be. I think you should walk. It's not easy but physical abuse is a hard limit for me. It's usually associated with verbal abuse so......
Delete#2: She has frequent attacks because of your selfish ass. You take up all the fresh air around her and leave her with a rotten stench. Nonsense. BTW you are full of yourself, broke not particularly good looking and might harbor STD's. Do you think she should stay or walk?
Poster 1: I can't ever in my life tell anyone everything about my life. No one. Since I told my bf how much I earn and he wouldn't stop talking about how little it is. Even to his friends. Lai lai I keep everything about myself to myself. Poster two. You don't love d girl let her go.
DeleteDear Bv how can u stop a colleague from staring at you. I have a colleague at work who ALWAYS stare at me. Each time I turn I feel her eyes trailing me. I just pretend that I don't see her. Should I confront her? Tenks
DeletePoster 1: looks like you are on a very very long thing. Just follow your heart on this.
DeletePoster 2: lemme go with Stella's comments on you, it's Sunday bro, I try not to sin knowingly on holy days ;) I for cuss you madt!
Poster 2 pls let her be already. With your analysis and excuse, you will eventually drop her when the tall girl with the right make up comes along( who knws if there is one already). Find some silly excuse and let her be make the poor girl no continue to dey cook, clean etc (the lady sef get time full hand o shuooo) with empty hope. Even if you change your mind and decide to stick with her, you don't deserve her.
DeleteWith these reasons you mentioned and the fact that they bothered you and at some you didn't desire her anymore shows that you don't deserve her. You never truly loved her to begin with. Just save her the future heart ache. I just wish she can see the current thoughts of her darling BF.
Ko
Narrative 2:u see ur life?when u were chasing her did u see makeup on her face,didnt u see she was fragile?or where u blind?i pity ur life because if u leave that girl without any tangible reason, u will regret it all the days of ur life!
DeleteWomen that wash and clean their BFs house are very few most especially when the man is away...
Ah!guy stop it o,
Read about asthma and assist her in any way u can and if u still don't love her enough,look for better excuse to walk away than giving these flimsy excuses!
Narrative 1:This is a lesson to u right now anyway,I'm very sure u will talk less now...
I remember when I was still very young and I overheard my mum scolding her niece for been so open to her hubby,
Because when they are having issues,the man always insult her and her family with all the family secret she told him.
She keeps crying to my mum till my mum found out the truth when she went to hear the man'sside of the story.
As I am talking to u right now,they've broken up after about 15years in the marriage.
And since then,I've learnt how not to divulge too many secrets to men because they will always use it against u(not all though)
Please don't leave that marriage o,more family secrets will pop up in the near future,just learn to talk less since its causing chaos in ur home.
Just keep him quiet whenever he wants to start his quarrels and stop challenging him please,it's like u have sharp tongue too,
U just have to wait to take up the blame cos u started it all by telling him about ur family.
Bless up!
Poster 2:
DeleteI'm gonna take this personal. You call 5 5 petite?
Then 5 2" girls like me are now dwrves.
For ur mind at 6 2" u r tall?!
Pfftt!
Biko shift!
I've never dated anyone that's less than 6 4".
Praying for The One to be above 6 4" sef.
This one is feeling tall cos he's just 6 2". Yimu joor.
Wanting to dump a girl cos of physical properties. Kuku go n marry 'queen of the coast' cos of sey she tall, n paints her face like her life depends on it.
U wud see a good girl n decide to leave her for a 'jaguda' geh after u wee start sending prayer requests up n down for God to save u.
Please take several seats.
Today's Sunday, I refuse to get angry.
....at some point*
DeleteJust porsh the thing tire me sef,am 5''2 so am I dwarve bah yeye cow,me I always say this I will neva form wife material agaiinnn 4 any guy(except fiance)no time again.I was expecting you 2 say she is rude,dirty and smelling,ashawo etc,but your stupid hand typed she is short and ashmatic God punish you.N2 please stop telling him stuffs about you and your family,and when he starts talking just walk away dnt bring yourself to his level and use what he told you against him.N1 thunder fire ya yansh again.
DeleteNarrative 1: This is exactly what is happening to me, exactly what my husband does, he once called my "late" mother a prostitute( sad face ) I got so angry and rained abuses on his own mother and his entire family too, and imagine this is someone who has a big secret in their family but I never use it against him whenever we have an argument, I'm seriously fed up of him
DeletePoster 1... U enter one chance true true....henceforth desist from telling him anything, I repeat ANYTHING about your family even about yourself to an extent, some men are like that, I married one like dat so I know....I tell him only what's important about d kids and very little o cos dat my husband im mouth dey leak like basket....In marriage u have to play to win o, to outsmart everyone and always adjust to d situations as they change....It is well
ReplyDeleteWagbayi. ...my husband's mouth can leak like basket too. No wonder why it is said that there's no friend like Jesus.
DeleteAnon 2:06pm,Nyc talk.
DeleteNa true you talk. It beats me how wives go de open mouth de yarn dia family secret de give their husbands. Same with girlfriends. Then wen kasala burst una go de complain. Even if my parents de chop akidi for house, my husband no go hear am biko. Make I collect the respect wey I deserve. All for love kwa! Mbanu!
DeleteU ladies will not kill me on this blog. Na really no friend like Jesus. It is well sha; it is well with your homes.
Delete#teamsingleladies!
ReplyDeleteP1,
ReplyDeleteU made a huge mistake 4m the start,
U married a man, u had a far distant rltnshp with.
Marriage is for better for worse.
U can start, by leading by example.
Stop cursing him back,
Wen he starts, tell him to caution himsef, dat it hurts u s much.
And I hope u don't do dis in front of ur kid.
Plz u are a black woman mk ur marriage work, n stop tellin him tins.
P2
U can date a gal outta pity, I doubt if marriage can withstand pity.do dis gal a. Favor n Break up with her.
Girls dat r not married yet alwz have d best advice wen it comes to marriage issues....why? Because dey'v not been there n they think it's a script u can act to
Delete@pinky,human beings react differently to d same situation,wat works in one home won't work in anoda
@ bitchplis na true u talk, singles Alwalys have remedy to married pple problems, I just dey laff, they think is easy to stay married abi, like u said bitchplis, what works for tom, can never, I repeat can never work for Adam.
DeleteStella there is nothing like managing situation in love nd choice Cus he will end up cheating nd breaking her heart with tall girls he's initial choice
ReplyDeletePoster 2 is an idiot. ...u don't have any excuse or reason...all this time u first met her and started dating, was she standing on ladder that u didn't notice her height? One thing is sure here, u don't deserve such a nice girl...I pray a real man comes her way and shows her d meaning of love. ..
ReplyDelete"was she standing on ladder" Cracked me up....reminds me of the song " Follow the ladder"
DeleteKo
@ poster two, you don't find her attractive so theres no point pleading with you. Check out American actor will smith and his petite wife. ...I'm sure you are not as handsome or rich like will smith. ...
ReplyDeletePóster 1, Kids Make things complicated i swear. i am Soo sorry he is like that.and he hit u....imagine! SWINE!.
ReplyDeletei was just abusing him all through!
Soo sorry! Esp as u didnt know he was like dis before...Kai!
Sending u warm hugs darling and prayers...cos i really dont know wot to say.
I am just Sad Sad Sad!
Tell him the General' Wife said he is a Coward!
And that next time he wants to fight,he should pick on His size! Otule!
@ Póster 2, You are just A Player Buh u urself dont know it.
After enjoying all d dividends of "girlfriendship' u are now bored wit her and now want to get a fresher p*****
Just in case its cos of d asthma u want to Bolt,biko it can be managed.
Find out wot Type she has and wot triggers hers and all d emergency First Aid just in case.
One of ma Besties is asthmatic and u wont know if she didnt tell u.
Another of ma friend's hubby too...both of dem normal and lead Active Lives.
Pls dat ur girlfriend comes across as a good girl.Buh if u want to Let her go,pls do it now.do it so d poor girl Wil know where she stands.so she can hurry along and play "wife" to someother guy....
Ana emenu.....
Poster number 2 I kindly request that u be present in the event of my demise and help them lower me in my grave so u can let me down for the last time.. Such a coward. #straightface
ReplyDeletePoster #1 it's quite onvious, you have to stop telling him stuff about your parents and siblings. And if he cuss your precious loving parents and siblings again, give him the taste of his own pill to know how bitter it is! When he tries to hit you, defend yourself with whatever way you can or with objects! But, don't let your parents know and don't go to them, because they would hate him! He is so immatured! Avoid and keep silence over matters that causes the quarrel.
ReplyDelete2. May God forgive you. When ypu met her where you blind ni? Didn't you see she doesn't wear makeup when u started banging her petite body? Ooh well, you only like her becos she cleans and washes for you but you can't love and date her becos she's asthmatic? You are a very selfish human being, leave her alone.
ReplyDeleteBV 1, mind what you tell him bcos we humans have both the good and bad side but the side we choose to display is our choice
ReplyDeleteBV 2, as a guy, knowing that you prefer a different set of gals and you still went ahead to "kidnap" her emotions makes me feel you need a big fat slap but as for the asthma, U can always help her manage it, my darling galfrnd is SS and she is priceless to me, my jewel of inestimable value
Shiloh 2014 :Heaven on Earth
Poster cn u pls dnt mention height here again? Bcus say u tall no mean say u go use dat against her.we wey we tall, dark nd Hans no dey use am against any gal u hear..teach her hw 2 makeup nd d rest of ur complains..if u truly luv her, u stick wit her.
ReplyDeleteFirst narrative sounds soon similar to my story. Been looking for advice, I guess I will just wait for comments to roll in. Sorry bv, I knw hw it can be. Hope ur folks will be supportive if you go back tho.
ReplyDeleteN1 sorry for what you are going through, I hate men that use what you told them about your family to abuse you. That's why it's not always good to tell your partner every thing about your family (me I don't oo)
ReplyDeleteAbuse of any kind is wrong, I don't think any woman should stay in an abusive relationship,because kids from such family are always sad.seeing Dad hit mum all the time can damage a child. Leaving him or staying to fight for him is your decision. Hope you make the right one for the sake of your baby.
N2 Asthma is not a death sentence. I know a lot of people that have it and are married with kids. What is so wrong in marrying some one that is petite. Must you marry a tall girl. This girl love you and does everything for you yet you want to hurt her.
Have you ask her why she don't wear make up. Physical look is not important in marriage. Good character and inner beauty matters a lot.
Truth be told you are just looking for an excuse to dump this girl.
Poster 2: pls do not hurt that lady. It'snot her fault that she is petite and she equally can't change that abt herself. U shld be more concerned about the qualities in her. As for the issue of make up, u can discuss that wit her. Help her work around her asthmatic health status if u really love her.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: ur matter tie wrapper o! I'll just sit back n read pple's comments on that.
My mum used to tell me dat no matter how much I love a man,dat i should nt tell him tins abt my family........stay n fight it only when ur life is not at stake #2# why are u being selfish??? What do u really wnt?? Y didn't u leave her at d initial time?? Are you just noticing dat she is short and petite???
ReplyDeleteNARRATIVE NUMBER ONE, I understand what u er going tru, am in d same situation now myself, its been 9yaers now, n I don'teven no what to do.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, na really one chance u enter ooO. Poster 2..... Stella just hit d nail on d head, i was abt askin d same questns stella asked. *Some guys sha* Quit for if u wan to, nd stop dis fake excuses rushing out from ur mouth..... *Abeg shuooo*
ReplyDeletethank God for d priceless advice i got from my huby's elder sis when i got married. dont discuss unnecessary issues, esp d negative ones with ur spouse, because when d chips re down, they ll come bitting u in d ass. only tell ur spouse d good news from ur family, cos what u say may be used against u in d future. kapish??? narr2. u love her my foot! if u dont want her pls let her knw ASAP dt u re taking a walk, we dont want to hear stories dt touch...like 'after 7years together, he left me for another girl...'. Stop wasting dt girl's time if u knw u re not serious with her. U re just a TIME WASTER period!!!
ReplyDeleteWow!!! Poster 1, am actually going thru the same issue wiv my boyfrd now. He uses everything I tells him to fight me on a lil provocation...so i ve actually learnt to stop telling him things abt myself nor family. So pls Ma, do not tell him anything about urself or family anymore. Just remain in ur marial home since he's not abusing you physically.
ReplyDeleteIs that what you are supposed to say as a single lady? Can you see what others who are married are going through? When you should pack your slippers on your head and run you are trying to manage a deadly situation. Ok oh dont come back on this blog and cry later sha.
DeleteHow you people get into relationships and talk and talk about your family...I can't get my head around it! I talk about myself, period! No my dad is this or my mum is that even with friends. Good or bad, keep your stories to yourself! Christ!
DeleteJayEm some even abuse their families join ooh..shebi I wrote it here sometime ago...some said when your in love you should spill all...hahaha...I hope people know that in marriage even to the love of your life..some days you don't like him,lol(too complicated to explain)
Deletewhat do you think will happen in that few days both of you are carrying face and looking for hurtful things to say to each other?
Best avoid it by sieving things you say! You can't go to your hubby and make your folks look like hungry people and expect the stupid man whom you know has diarrhoea mouth to keep quiet!! Or him damaging secrets about your sister's marriage or life!
It is unfortunate that some men are so childish and vindictive! Silence is the only thing you will get from my hubby when he is upset..never talks too much! Even at that,i can't let my guard down biko!!Mtcheeeww!
Dear poster....i will never advice you to leave your husband based on these few facts!! if you know he gets provoked like a tiger when you rain your insults..please my sister,avoid...until you tell me he has been hitting you,i can't judge with this one instance am sorry..What if you are the one that gave him the hot slap? I won't tell him to leave you na...
After everything has cooled off!! Warn him seriously! Start off with a good conversation so he doesn't storm off..let him know you will get your lawyers involved if he dare slap you again! 2yrs marriage he wants to turn you into a punching bag? Don't they have underground wrestling houses without rules where he can go and show his strength!! Tell him that the world will know he is a wife beater! You will get a police report! Gone are the days women keep calm..if you don't have a job and you are capable of working,,move ya ass!!!!!
Poster 2: you weren't blind, you saw her height, no make up and asthma and you went ahead to start a relationship with her. Now you want to bolt out cos you've tested her punani abi? Ngwa sit her down and tell her to start making up, you can't change her height cos na so God create her, Asthma is not a death sentence, it can be managed. Its not as you no get your own lapses but she has chosen to love you the way you are. Mind u, its not all about physical beauty, she might not be as beautiful as you want outwardly but has a beautiful soul.So if I hear say you leave am ehn... Amadioha will strike o.
ReplyDelete*her
ReplyDeletePoster 2: na wa for you o. You don fuck finish you con dey find excuses to dump her, Chai, proper case of #jibitiObo. I like the way you repeatedly said " petite " rather than short though.
ReplyDeleteThis is the reason many ladies resort to "jazzing" you guys cus e be like say clear eye no dey work again these days. #yeyedeysmell.com
Poster 2: you are just wicked 5'5 is short, but u saw her height before entering the honey pot...Evil boy, when you first saw her did she leave her face at home?Did she wear make up then, or she leave some height for house?
ReplyDeletePoster 1 :sadly, my mum does that, insults you with every thing you've ever told her, so I STOPPED telling her stuff and anytime she insults me, I tell her how it hurts me, over time she ran out of things to insult me with and now we are good!!She's so eager to find out what's going on in my life but na so life be!!
first poster- Stop telling him abt ur family. Sit him down and tell him u hate d way he abuses them. If he continue beating u, mayb u report him to his family. Second poster- There is nothing wrong in marrying someone who is asthmatic. If it is managed well, she would not be having attacks frequently. Let her visit hosp and giv psychological support. Also, stature is not a barrier. Make ur decision.
ReplyDeletePoster number 1: you real enta one chance. Trust me, the beatings just started, and it will only get worse. Just queitly plan to leave him. Plan coz you need money and a business or a job to be on your own wit ur son.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You are just a wicked boy. After getting so intimate wit her, now you are asking Sdk how to break a lady's heart?
You are citing petty things like her height and illness as an excuse. Fuck you. When you met her were you blind to see how petite she was, or didn't you see she had no makeup on?
Men and their wicked ways
And d poor girl is buzy doing wifely duties chai
Will Smith is 6ft5 and Jada is jst abt 5ft3.they've been married forever.what about toke makinwa and maje?I bet this dude just met a girl who is tall and hot with her bold makeup and colored hair and suddenly,the naturally pretty but petite girl he used to be crazy about is now flawed.he is simply just looking for excuses to justify his lust for some other girl.
ReplyDelete*KISMET
Poster 1,the fact that he hit you means he's going to continue for a very long period of time. Biko dont leave any marriage oo try and work it out and if hitting and abuse persists,pray to God,call a family meeting and leaving the marriage should be your last resort. Your husband is just bn foolish so,so he can't stand his family bn insulted and he can insult yours bah? Desist from telling him anything hence forth,stop telling him anything about your yourself and family oo. Let him know what he's done by hitting you is very bad. It seems the man is one spoilt brat like that and has a running mouth*mitchew. @poster 2,you knew what you wanted from day 1 and you still went ahead to ask her out to the extent of getting intimate with the poor girl. Why are some men like this ehn?now you are,giving silly and dumb excuses for wanting to leave her. Poster Biko free the babe let her go and meet someone who will appreciate her and adore her,shogbo? Ode. Opeyemi
ReplyDeletePoster 2...your are so selfish and stupid...jst as Stella rightly pointed out,dint u see all those b4 u bcame intimate with her,n noow that uv gotten d poor girl 2fall head over heels for u,u suddenly realise she has asthma,is petite n doesn't wear makeup...if i may ask,what has that got 2do with anythng?;aint relationships suppose to be all bout love?...nwayz jst let her off easy,cos der's no need leading her on if u know the thing between u 2 ain't heading anywhere...selfish idiot
ReplyDelete@poster1...Na waa o,ds1 pass me...while I'm in support of u wanting to fight for ur marriage,i detest men dt lay their filthy hands on a lady regardless of what she must have done...N 2think he even insults ur family,biko dt is d height of it,me i can't deal o
Nar.2,,pls ooo,go wit Stella's advice,,,she is so on point...Nar.1 apply wisdom in ur marriage..
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you really are a coward. Olojukokoro. You most likely have met someone else you like and instead of telling the truth, you are saying all these irrelevant things. Did she develop asthma overnight? Or has her height reduced over the past 2years? May that new meat you are "chopping" not cause you to make a mistake.
ReplyDeletePoster 1's husband is one of the phenomenal reasons why I avoid men that engage in talking too much.
ReplyDeleteThey simply lack self respect, hence can't respect others; so they talk down at people to feel better.
Poster 2,
So after that beautiful lady has done 'Ekatte' for you, you're looking for ways to leave her ?
Your Lamentations about her shortcomings aren't valid.
Are you perfect too ?
Bitchbiko show face biko I don miss your comments
DeletePoster 1, I feel ur pain. Sometimes I feel there are certain family issues or secrets we shld keep from spouse, cos some spoue are so loud mouthed and wicked with their words of mouths. I will not advice u to leave ur marriagem just sit ur hubby down and let him know that the words and he uses on ur family members and parents are hurting u badly. And with prayers, I hope he desist from it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, Stella has said it all. Just don't break that young girl's heart o. Cos u knew she was petite before u started dating her..
#1 Your husband is really a very mean and disrespectful man. How can he continue to insult your parents like that?
ReplyDeleteHas it ever occurred to his "NSHIKO" brain that without your parents their will be no you to call his wife? You married a very abusive man and only you that's in the situation knows what is best for you. SORRY FOR CALLING HIS BRAIN NSHIKO.
#2 Men can be very mean and hard hearted. Its obvious the lady does not meet the criteria you seek physically for a wife.
Its obvious you don't want to marry her.
Its glaring that the little CONSCIENCE you have is pricking you and echoing in your BLACK HEART that leaving this lady may lead to her being depressed or her even contemplating to take her life.
All you want is for us to help you justify why you should drop her like a piece of rag.
You led her on to the point of being intimate and now you suddenly realise she is SHORT , MGBEKE without makeup and CONSTANT ASTHMATIC ATTACK.
From all your narratives YOUR MARRYING HER WILL MOST DEFINATELY BE OUT OF PITY AND NOT OUT OF LOVE.
SHE IS LIKELY TO SUFFER COZ YOU DONT SEE HER AS SOMEONE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH.
ITS CLEARLY WICKEDNESS ON YOUR PART TO DO THIS , AND I PITY THE TALL MAKEUP and ASTHMATIC FREE LADY YOU WILL END UP MARRYING.
Remember GOD is definitely watching you with HIS MIGHTY 3D!!!
Peace to all men.
Poster2: u are jst a wicked guy after all d care she's shown u, u dare to say she's short n dsnt wear mk ups, r u for real? Now u r working n hv met exposed chics now u see her as a local gal n more like ur care taker....i despise guys like, jst dump her n see wot turns up for u!!!!
ReplyDeletePlss poster 2, dnt dump her. Asthma can be managed very well and she might outgrow it.Ur wat she needs right now. Am 5 5 ,my hubby is 6.3 and am not short,we look so good 2geda. plss she didn't create herself. U can also tell her 2 be wearing makeup if dats wat u like.
ReplyDeleteI beg u stay wit u.u might end up meeting a tall girl wit evil heart.if she gives u peace of mind juxx give her anoda chance.
I wish u all d best dear.
Why are you begging him?
DeleteLet him go and meet the 6ft gal who would compliment his height.
So that he can set that very good lady free. She's needs to meet the man that deserves her love and accots her for who she is.
You met her petite,met her without her makeup and you knew she had asthma,but you still slept with her
How could she even cook for you,wash you clothes including your undergarment? Wow,some gals are nice tho. Thru out dating hubby,I didn't even cook for him,didn't wash his clothes or do any stupid duties. I was a galfriend,not a wife and wasn't going to start been one when I had not cooked for myself finish.
Poster 2,break up with her so she can meet her soul mate. You are not the one. You will still cheat on her even if you get married to her. And she would have a miserable life with you.
Poster 1. Stop telling your hubby anything about your family. Even about yourself. Nobody thought me that,I just learnt it on my own. I am always the listener,I never divulge things that doesn't concern the next person. Hubby keeps saying I keep secrets a lot and he tells me everything about him self and I will jokingly ask him what he's account balance is... He would just say men don't discusswoans we would laugh. For the beating part I don't know what to say o. Is it his first time? Has he hit you before? You didn't make mention of that... Oh well,do you wanna leave? or stay to work it out? That should be your decision. Do it with a clear head
Narrative no 2, I pray u get a girl who is 6ft tall, not asthmatic, and wear more make up than miss sahara, and won't do any of what the petite lady is doing, pls if u are walking away from the relationship be bold enough to tell her why u are leaving.
ReplyDeleteStella haf finished it,u spoke my mind
ReplyDeleteNARRATIVE 1; CONFIDE in God, the maker of marital institution and make peace with him before you become
ReplyDelete"a corpse"; in the hands of this husband. Really you did not do well to have "insulted back"; now you can't come to equity with soiled hands. But fast and pray; even for him. Love him even when he hates you; even if you will eventually leave him; do not stop loving him else you become a hypocrite like he is . . .
NO 2; The serpent is TALL; NAY LONG and you will soon find one. "she turns you on like crazy" and she is petite; thank God for this petite turn on lady who has every qualities of a woman you need except one. Have you ever sought her opinion if you have all qualities she needs in a man? Yet she adores you? Now you've taken everything she values; her body and you want to walk out; wrong move. So your six feet girls that don't have asthma will live longer; you the giver of life? Let me tell you that we are of the same height and I've been married for more than a decade to my wife who's of almost same height as your girlfriend. And I will not fail to tell you that you are in iniquity with this lady; sex before marriage. That's not your problem anyway. Your problem is; not knowing God, not having the savior as your Lord. Do it today; confess and repent and have peace and come out from your selfish lifestyle!
Like play one babe somewhere no know say her boyfriend dey reason breakup seriously. Kai! Men!! I raise yansh for una.
ReplyDeleteAs in ehn, kai na wah
DeletePls dnt break her heart poster2,poster1 dat ur hubby self,haba. Let me sit&wait advice rollin in.
ReplyDeleteNo 2; you entered a shop, grabbed a "Honey cookie"; well labelled so. You read the ingredients and saw "honey" there: You unwrapped it and ate some pieces . . . then suddenly you realized that you don't usually eat honey and you are asking if you should apologize to the store keeper and explain that you don't eat honey so that you'd return the remainder. . . Well if you are doing right; may it happen so with all your sisters, cousins, and all your daughters . . . and grand and great grand daughters.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,my hubby is 6ft2 n I am 5ft11. When we walk we look like 2 trees walking. Our daughter is taller than me n she feels self concious abt her height. Sometimes,I feel I were 5ft2 or even shorter. Sometimes I wish my hubby were shorter. But God has made him tall. We can't change that.
ReplyDeleteMy story is:
Height isn't everything,your inner self is. As per her medical condition,if you can deal with it now and in future,marry her. But if u know you will treat her badly,kill her morale with demeaning words cos of her illness,ls let her GO now.
As per make up,tell her you love seeing a made up face on her. SIMPLE.
Again,tell her to wear wedges n high heels if she doesn't wear them now
Meanwhile,from your tone,you have met another lady and she's tall,loud n wears make up
So,what you gonna do HulkHogan #inTripleHvoice#
go ahead and boost your daughter's confidence. I am 5 5 and all my life ive always wanted to be tall. I dont think u really know what u got there. LOL
DeletePoster 1, some guys are like that.Just stop telling him stuff about your family and even yourself, you hear? I don't think you should leave, just ignore him and take care of your baby.Dont worry God is with you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, initially when I met my boyfriend, that was my problem. I'm not short ooo, but his "longness" no be here! His ex girlfriend too was very tall, and when she saw that he was way taller when we both went out one time,she was just smiling like "seriously, you can do better". You know what, he didn't care one bit, I was the one that was over caring for very trivial things.
Anytime I bring up height related discussions then, he would say, you are 18, don't worry you will still grow,lol,although that was 3yrs ago, I have not grown much, heheehehe. what I'm saying in earnest is that you should stop being vain and love this girl like she deserves to be loved and like she has has shown you love, as for her asthma, she's not a baby, just reinforce it to her everyday that she should take care of herself.Finish!
Aberdeen dwarf
Delete@ Stella, no 2 is not a "coward", he is a "cow ward".
ReplyDeletePoster 1...You can do better by not putting your family out there, but as it is now, u need to sit his ass down and warn him not insult your family again. If the insult persist, take a walk for good.
ReplyDeletePoster 2...Your reasons are coming late. Dont try your luck, because anything that happens to her from now, based on your sudden awareness of her health situations, you will be held responsible.
It is coming too late man, wisen up
P1: it is well with you. Has he always been like that from days of courtship? Think it over and decide if that where you really want to be. Maybe he had other expectations of the marriage, and since they havnt been met he is working his way out. P2: 5'5 is petite? Seriously? Anyway individual differences, cos I know lots of tall dudes who prefer petite babes. Have u asked her to throw on a little makeup and she refused? Let me ask you, if you are diagnosed with cancer today, and La-babe leaves you cos she can't nurse you, would you feel bad? Anyway not every rship must lead to marriage. Don't stay there out of pity.But you obviously have a good girl, don't throw her away and come sending chronicles tomorrow when the one you end up with won't even cook your food o. #a good woman is had to find#
ReplyDeleteStory #1 sounds like a repeat.
ReplyDeleteStory #2. #1 your girlfriend is tall for a Nigerian, and average for an American. In short, she is not petite. #2 People with asthma live long and productive lives as long as they avoid their triggers, and take their medications as prescribed. #3. You don't love the woman, please free her so she can meet someone that will love her the way God made her.
Narr. 1...ok, agree it's a one chance but dont leave just soon, ok?) You need to give him atleast a second chance to be double sure he's a nitwit. You can involve, someone he respects so much. Let d person intercede (fine its wrong to bring in a third-party into ur home, but in dis case, there's a need for it). Talk to him as well, ask him why he assults u verbally, let him know in d midst of the third-party, your tolerance grace is dead n you're fed up. He prolly wants to frustrate ur ass out of his house, so letting him know ur mind should help positively or negatively.
ReplyDeleteHowever, after d talk/meeting and he still insults u or ur siblings, babe, bounce!
Narr. 2. You don't marry someone out of pity. If she isn't ur type, pls leave her alone.
Some guys sha, smh! You see fine petite girl with GOOD CHARACTER and excellent upbringing who treats u more than u deserve or worth, you dey find tall girl with plastic face. You're a fool, dats all!
Waiting for expert on relationships. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
ReplyDeletePoster1 this hapened to my mom but hers was an arranged marriage I guess the man u married is like my dad I hated my dad for everything he put my mom through yours is better cause he dosent report you to his family members.my mom felt like going home then but today she's so happy because six of us her graduate and she is a proud mother.endure it and keep praying u saw the signs but still went ahead and there is no going back now
ReplyDeletePoster 1 we must be married 2 d same man. Love made me spill everything abt my family. Now he insults my family at will. I've developed thick skin & i hype my family now even if i have 2 lie. There's respect 4 my family now.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, u hv chopped & u want 2 clean mouth. May ur conscience judge u.
.....what is marriage turning out these days?...dont tell him anything and this one that hé's started hitting you, know, it is only thé beginning. I wont tell you to walk out but it's on obvious hé has no respect whatsoever for you. How dare he insult your parents? Dont you have a sibling, cousin, family member (preferably a Guy) you can confide in? So, he knows there are Men in your house who wont stand for his rubbish against you. And henceforth, keep your mouth shut!...then again, thé harm has already been done.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: *You're a scumbag!!!!....after being intimate her, now you know she wears no makeup or is short.*Besides, 5 5in isnt short so what you on about?...You just want an excuse to break up with her after enjoying her ping ping and looking foward to nothing else anymore. I was born asthmatic with a hole in my lung but im married, been married for 3 years with a child so you have no case. Shame on you!!!!
.....did i mention im 5ft 7 and m'y husband is 6ft 4" so you have absolutely no case here cus its right about the same height difference with your lady.Find another excuse!!!
ReplyDeleteI don tire for advice
ReplyDeletebut you did not mind slamming that "daughter like puzzay" you did not mind eating that childish looking pulzzi, oooh what aout them tiddays...you drink the nothingness outta them and now you want tall girl...boy your ass is tall enough for you both, wife that tiny girl!
ReplyDeletefirst poster, days turn to weeks and weeks to years, one day you will say ive been married to a man i hat for almost three decades, nne thats a long time. thank God u have money, thank God your child is still young, you can give him one year to change or so...if he dooesnt.. dont let that foul mouthed nigga hold you down
Poster 2 u r an idiot and so wicked.
ReplyDeleteU need to reinvent Urself @ madam talkative,U gave Ur husband ammunition to use whenever he's pissed and most Nigerian men are always pissed and frustrated.
ReplyDeleteWhat kinda evil spirit will make me chat dirt to anybody about my family???
Hian!!!
U are d kinda person that will gossip Ur friends to Ur husband and that same husband will start chasing Ur friend to sleep with her and @ d same time warning against such friends.(true life experiences oo...if only U know how many of my friends husbands I ve bedded...and they ended up telling me what their wives told them about me..)
Bloody learners##
Happy Sunday Y'all!!
Repent and be saved!!!
Ezenwanyi N'eli ife Gbaluagba.
Bwahahahaha!!!
Linda Eze kedu ije??
GW,how far???
Boutylicious Diva,how are U???
Achalugo 1!
DeleteOnwa Na onwe ya!
Nwunye Ijele!
Omuma asa aru!
Ibilibi Herself!
Odiuko na mba!
Oke Mmuonwu na Onwe!
Nwunye IDE of Igbo Land!
Asa Nma!
Idika Achoo!
Yori Yori Nwa!
Asiwaju Herself!
The one n only Ezenwanyi!
The Wearer of Gold and Diamond!
And Louboutins and Hermes!
Nne idigodi Wuuuuuuuuu!
Chai Ezenwanyi! I si Ka! I Ka mu Ike! Hian, ur friends hubbies???
DeleteAnyway women sha....dat is how my very good friend gossips with her hubby about me....I so much dislike women who discuss their friends with their hubbies....Can't women simply have girls talk again???? Anyway, my friend in question doesn't know her hubby is scared dat I might tell her of his escapades with women, this is a man dat has a serious girlfriend dat is almost like a 2nd wife to him.....not dat I had any plans of disclosing to my friend o, wetin concern me if she can't do her own FBI herself.....I sha started withdrawing from her.....Such friends I can't deal with.....Married women, listen and listen good....get very suspicious whenever your hubby starts poke nosing in ur girly talks with ur friends or whenever he does not want you to keep friends.....na fear of exposure dey catch am.
@poster #1,did he call u poor man's daughter? *in ezewanyi's husband's voice*hehehehehe
DeleteChai GW let me help you small....
DeleteEzenwanyi gburugburu!
Okala mmadu Okala mmuo!
Onuu gbajie boys niine no na Ozubulu!
Okwulu Okaa 1 na Anaedo!
Anu Ana gba egbe o na ata nni!
I repeat once again, I si Ka! I Ka muo Ike!
BTW, GW I took a closer look at ur pic and ur girls are cute! But dat Weapon of Mass Destruction wey u carry for front di kwa very brutal!
Umu Nwanyi Anambra! I remain loyal.
Shebi you dey tell them to "mystify" themselves dem no gree!
DeleteI remember that post vividly...I remember your opinion too! ngwanu
keep sharing secrets!
Lmao@nne idi go du wuuuuu
Una forget ukwu sugar!!!
Where is pepperistic pepper ooh
Iyalode, bawo ni?
DeleteYou took up a comment today instead of marking comments with your red biko.
Ezenwayi the joker. Am sure u just write al this rubbish to make people laugh. Even those hailing do not want u around them. Who wants to be friends with someone who sleeps with her friends' husbands, husbands friends and also does juju stuffs. Sick woman. I still maintain u are a very smart failed runs girl who mis-calculated and married a fake thinking she hit a jackpot. Now it's too late. Now it's too late. You tie wrapper around ur waist, with ur Nokia and limited data and mislead people here. I still think u are a good comedian though. And u iphie dearie, u fall my hand. How can u be agreeing with this mobile shrine. I thought u were a virtuous, uplight woman. A blessed one. Pls don't interact with destiny polluters like this woman.
DeleteBitchplis you can remember somethings o.hahahahaha.lmao in Ezewanyi's husband voice
DeleteGeneral wife igbugom ooo........
DeleteChoi!!
Choi!!!
Ezenwanyi is walking on waters oo.........
Bitchplis,Bwahahahaha...........
DeleteOriegwu oooo.........
Goldscent ore mi atata,mo busy gan ni,mo ti fe wale,so shopping tins.
DeleteBawo ni???
Bwahahahaha @mobile shrine...
DeleteBia ogbanje girl,I dont play with Ur kind.
Ur description fits U wella.tying wrapper,nokia with limited data,runs girl bla bla....I jump pass U!!Tufiakwa!!!spits on her and everything that concerns her.
Iphie nne,them no dey hear word jare...
DeleteHow U dey??
but you did not mind slamming that "daughter like puzzay" you did not mind eating that childish looking pulzzi, oooh what aout them tiddays...you drink the nothingness outta them and now you want tall girl...boy your ass is tall enough for you both, wife that tiny girl!
ReplyDeletefirst poster, days turn to weeks and weeks to years, one day you will say ive been married to a man i hat for almost three decades, nne thats a long time. thank God u have money, thank God your child is still young, you can give him one year to change or so...if he dooesnt.. dont let that foul mouthed nigga hold you down
Poster 0ne : a man has no excuse whatsoever to lay his hands on a woman. Be wise.
ReplyDeletePoster Two: buy six inches heel shoes for her and take are to sleek for a make over. That should solve your problem. Mcheww
@narrative 2, u r so funny. Didn't u see her height n her lack of make up b4 u got intimate with her. I dnt tink u luv ha cs if u do, u wunt luk at d physical.u r supposed to luv her for who she is. Abt her height, u cn get her heels nah. Thr r so many heels in d market dt will add to her height. Concernin d make up ish, call her n talk to her abt it.
ReplyDeleteUr reasons for wanting to break up with her are rily baseless. U'll just end up hurtin a very innocent babe.
Perfect Nails and lashes, Lagos
P2. You are a baby...you need some growing up. So you think relationships are based on physicality? You don't deserve the girl, so no advice for you.
ReplyDeleteN1. Na one chance you dey o, I don't like it when people use my words against me later.
ReplyDeleteN2. You are just looking for an excuse to leave her. Tell her to wear mek up na,if you really love her, her appearance will not mean anything to u
Abegi! Let me also comment o jare!
ReplyDeleteNo 1 Chic, it sounds like you married an immature man. It doesnt seem like he's a bad man, just immature. Dont walk out on your marriage o! Fix it. Stop replying the guy when he insults your fam. Infact buy chewing gum and pop in your mouth when he starts, the more he insults, the harder you chew. And when he is calm, u talk to him. In short win him over with love.
No 2 guy, Abeg go yansh down. Asthma na HIV abi Ebola? Carry her go make up school for training na, give her money for mary kay, abi? As per height, abeg forget that thing, not like you are one dongoyaro, no be only 6, 2? And no be say the girl na dwarf? But if u like sha, go marry tall winch!
My dear i only have a problem with the fact that he hit you, for his mouth dont tell him anything again, i have bn abused also mine asked me to move out of his house insult my family, insulting me is no big deal, says things like he made me he will broke me, avoid telling him anything about your family shikina.
ReplyDeleteLame@Narrative 2
ReplyDeleteIt is quite normal for a lady to nag&cuss but when a man starts cussing,just know that he's a woman wrapper! Madam just try as much as possible to curtail that situation,i will not advice you to leave you marriage cos i don't give up on people that easily; And to the tall guy&short gf,Sdk has said it already so sit your ass down in that relationship.
ReplyDeleteYa re right
DeletePoster two,may God have mercy on your fickle heart.From your narrative, I think you are a shallow minded creature. Can you go back and read your reasons for wanting to leave her again?
ReplyDeleteI don't think she deserves you sha,so my opinion is that you should leave her, so someone who loves and adores her for her, will meet her.
She's too petite, she dosen't wear make up and she's asthmatic. Imagine! *rme*
Poster 1, pls if you're interested in keeping your marriage, stop telling him anything whether good or bad...my mum warned me about that..no matter the type of love that is worrying you don't tell your future hubby what goes on in your family..I kuku know how sensitive I am so I don't bother telling anybody anything
ReplyDeleteSame with my mum.....
DeleteI have asthma, I'm 5ft 5", been married for 8 years, I have 2 kids currently pregnant for the 3rd, hubby manages the asthma thingy with me such that if I don't tell you, you won't know I'm asthmatic! Ohhh did I mention I live in the north and harmattan has set in with dust every were? Yet with proper management, I'm fine.
ReplyDeleteAsthma is not a death sentence mbok, don't make it sound like one!
Tell him!
DeleteAnon 2:06 are you a chessplayer?
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I believe in one thing,i do not bring what i won't eat close to my nose. It would be very unfair if you do not continue dating her. Thats your cross man,carry it joyfully.
Poster 1,as a straight-forward person,i will advise you to walk out of the marriage. My one cent.
@number two, i have been in similar situation before, so i would advice you reduce d communication you have with her so she won't get really hurt when you leave... Pls never love out of pity... Just my opinion!
ReplyDeleteYou see a girl you know isnt your spec but you encourage her and lead her on. When yoy decided to get intimate with her, were your eyes gummed shut with chewing gum? Oh Lord how I despise guys like these. Did she suddenly shrink to her current height or you just shot up to yours? And is asthma a disease? Guy you are your own problem! Please leave her already and let someone who will love her for whom she is come along...meeting on badoo..smh
ReplyDeleteLol. This comment cracked me up big time!
DeleteHilarious!lol,I feel pained on behalf of this lady too.I pray she mistakenly sees this post abi na mail wey u send Stella.anuofia!(@anonymous-yes oo.asthma is a chronic disease.)#likita#
DeletePoster 2 : you are a coward simple and a wicked guy at that, Gosh!
ReplyDeletePoster 1 if u can endure u try stay but if u can,t walk away before its late,my useless boyfriend is like that though he never included my family.
ReplyDeleteMy dear dating a petite is not a crime,sh can wear high heels and be average, which is manageable,u can tell her u love her wearing makeup,bcs if you really love tall ladies u shuldnt av made ur petite gf av so much commitment in the rlstionship at the first place,d reason u are now complaining bcs b4 u met her online I guess u were broke,now u av a job u r now ranting..ode!!!
ReplyDeleteVick_chizy
#1: Sweetie, marriage isn't what you jump in and waltz out at the slightest sign of acrimony. Naturally, your story is one-sided, so I may have to make safe presumptions. Unless you married a sociopath or a man under spiritual influences, your hubby wouldn't start throwing below the belt jabs unless he was provoked. Are you sure you aren't doing something(s) to cause his immature outbursts? Sometimes, you may perceive your actions as harmless but, the person at the receiving end may find them offensive. My advice to you is, learn your hubby's triggers(both for pain and pleasure) and avoid the ones that may be counterproductive.
ReplyDeleteAnother salient advice handed down from 5 generations down my maternal side is, never tell your partner all the gory family mishaps because they can and will be used against you down the line. Learn to filter pillow talk. I am all for being your spouse's bff and all but apply wisdom. The hand that pulls you to a loving embrace may tomorrow be the same hand thrusting a dagger at your back. Some of the worst enemies where once the best of friends. As a matter of fact, it takes intense love to produce intense hatred. Come to court and watch some divorce processings, you'll be gobsmacked at how love can turn from the sublime to the ridiculous!
When you feel like confiding in someone, talk to God or talk to your "imaginary friend "if you must. Remember, a secret is no longer a secret if it comes to the knowledge of more than one person.
As for fighting dirty like your hubby, you do know you can't play his immature games and still vent about them, yeah? That right there, is you taking the proverbial pound of flesh. Once you take your revenge, you've lost the right to complain. Honey, put aside how well to do your parents are, I can't see the relevance here. They've worked out their issues to form the wealth and stability that gives you confidence. If your mum walked out and some other woman is now at your father's side, I'm sure that house will be less attractive to you. Work on your marriage while you still can because, it isn't that bad. If you change your attitude, his attitude may improve. I wonder what ladies entering marriage expect? Sunshine and puppy dogs all day, everyday? Honey, your marriage is as sweet as you make it, as long as you are realistic.
Ronalda. God bless you. Your comment made a lot of sense...Marriage is full of ups and downs...and each experience should serve as a learning point.
DeleteEnnie
I've always liked ur comment but today's own is a no no for me, so even if she's doing something to provoke him, can't he insult her and leave her family out of it? And if she's continually taking insults on her family, u really think at a point she won't snap and retaliate? She's a wife doesn't mean, she isn't human. Any guy that would have the guts to insult the family that raised his wife isn't worthy of any woman. He's a scumbag.
DeleteRonalda my darlyn...how you doing gurrl!! Happy sunday.
DeletePlease this young lady is also human..she has counter reacted by insulting her hubby,we know...but your comment is one-sided..did you forget the beatings dear??
In as much as you don't have details,she already gave us some tips,secrets divulged,her retaliation,and the beating..but you only ran with her own offence dear!
Marriage of course isn't a bed of roses and ladies need to buckle up but remember her hubby or another man waiting to slap his wife might be reading your comment and going..oh you see,she would have been the mature one here!! Why can't he also be the bigger person Ronalda my intellectual friend?? Can't men take responsibility for their actions again? What are we going to teach our boys Ronalda? But some hubbies are getting it right?? Can't hers do better??
Narrative 2. It depends on what is important to you right now. Firstly, are you looking for an arm candy or peace?I see you settling with a tall and well made up lady and later regret not marrying the other girl. And please, please and please dear, flee fornication. The few minutes pleasure u derive is not worth the consequences (both spiritual and medical). Give ur life to Christ and you wont regret it. May God open your eyes. Jesus loves you. I love you too. Miriam
ReplyDeleteNot sure Stella will post my comment.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, U re both immature and U nid to tolerate Ur man.Now only God can touch a man's heart.Pls pray for and with him and U will both be happier 4 it.
Poster 2..wat if U marry a tall healthy lady and she develops asthma or any terminal illness? wat happens? Asthma is mostly caused by allergy and cold.Pls think thru it as we dont ve 2many wife materials out there.All dat glitters is not gold
Poster 1, some people are like that, learn to keep things to yourself. Stop over showing him "I love you attitude" rather do your duty as a wife and show more love to your baby, he go come looking for you......
ReplyDeletePoster 2, the last relationship you had, I assume the girl is tall as you like your ladies but what happened??? The relationship didn't last. My dear, take a chill. Character is the beauty in any relationship.... You are lucky she loves you, she dey wash and cook for you... Anyway, Stella said it all..... Go for character man
..
Gbam! Nice one.
DeleteN1... pls go n stay in ur parents place for jus a few days let him miss u a Lil. N pls, always b careful with Wat u share wit ur spouse esp abt ur family cuz of self respect... wen hubby comes to beg u to go back home with him. Get him to sign an undertaking that he wld never raise his hand on u again. N dat if he does, he would ve to pay damages n set an amount that is quite high for him. Make sure u stick to it... he wld think twice before hitting u again.
ReplyDeleteN2..... as Stella said, u r simply a coward n chop, clean mouth. u don't deserve d babe.
at poster 2..... I don't want to insult u cos u sound so ****** just like Stella said when u meet her her petite height didn't turn u off... her lack of make up didn't turn u off... what even attracted u to her in the first place... u must be sick in the head... how dare u... after hanging her on top fan and Bulgarly... fucking the living day light out her... u just want to push her to the side like waste product chei some girls have suffered.... if u like ur life and u know what's good for u... u better treat that babe right cos she deserves it... it guys like u that give we guys bad name... nonsense.... just read ur excuse... so lame...
ReplyDeletefirst poster i hate people especially women living in regret for whatever action they took.Why in the beginning it seemed like ur best and only option therefore, kindly do not insult him back next time to avoid been beaten.I will not also say pray for him.What u will do IMO is simple ignore him let him be the nag in this situation.If u do not talk i am sure u will not be beaten.Then wait for him to strike u for no reason one day then u can unleash all the terror in u withou looking back.From now hence forth do not tell him anything about ur home i mean ur parents.Umu nwoke ufodu bu ndi apara
ReplyDeleteN1, I will hate anyone that dose that to MOI.To tell people secrets about close ones is no joke, you know what , your hubby is an ASS HOLE! Tell you what, i have this person i hold closely to my heart, you know why??? The person tole MOI madness runs in their family and since then i have always prayed for the person. It touched MOI that this person could confide in MOI. No matter what this person dose i will NEVER turn my back on…N 2, Please don't stay with her out of pity, tell you what, i have some one very close that made that mistake, after marriage this tiny thing turned to a MONSTER, i don't know you but please RUN. The tiny ones i know are troublesome, DONT LET HER FOOL YOU.
ReplyDeleteposter one : u didnt look well before u leapt. was the marriage arranged? if yes thats the begining of ur wahala. pls stay married , pray and be submissive and obedient
ReplyDeleteposter 2: u jus want to give a dog a bad name so u can hang it. u chop her kpomo every other day n u never noticed all these. abegggi
ANGELRAY SAID
ReplyDelete@1, ur husband is a bad man, tell ur parents and take whatever advice they give u, I hate men who beat women.
@2, u are an idiot, so after cleaning, washing, cooking and fucking u, u just realized that she's short and asthmatic, may God forgive u, u berra end d r/ship now before u destroy her life, may ur prick shrink any day u browse her web site again.
second poster, u have shown that in many years to come u will begin to look for what was never a source of problem.Do u want her to be different from what she was when u met her.Some men tho i don't know the jungle they came outta.U met her in 2012 and when u got intimate ur dick wiped off the asthma from her,wiped out her short self etc,now that i am sure u have gotten miss universe to take to the alter somewhere, u r looking for an excuse to drop miss NYSC , comon gerrof from here before i get angry with u osiso.Better carry ur selfish and cowardly self and give her space for a better person to find her.May God judge all u men that think after having the fun of their life with a woman then they will notice she has caculus in her teeth and she has knock knees.Umu ndiara.If i were the girl i will be glad if i have a reason to dump u sef.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post Phase1. I was here thinking maybe I overacted with my exes.
ReplyDeletePersonally I don't like a man who runs his mouth like a woman...
1 of my ex made a detest remark about my dad. I just brushed it off. but later on I summed up various instances he took me for granted and even disrespected me. I was like this only honeymoon period and you are behaving like that. It will be worse within marriage na.. So I said bye bye. And till this day, he hasn't told any1 the truth. he is married yet his gang of friends r still throwing stones at me. Claims I broke his heart when he did that to me.
Another ex runs his mouth like basket.. i was just like ehm if you have serious issue can you confide in this one? After tolerating his verbal sarcastic statements. One day I told him e do.. bye bye..
That one is married I sorry his wife bc their business is all out there.
I understand your plight... Now my take will be to first of all forgive your self. And there is always a solution to every problem. Be sensitive to topics which can ignite verbal abuses. Excuse yourself and be very humble. The best adviser will be to pray for wisdom. Some men they can be older than you but still immature in their brain.
One guy confided in me that I know it's unlike for him a man to say this.. but they can behave dump and take advantage of women.
Oh girl all this your ex here, ex there don do oh!
Delete#2...have u seen shaq o neil n his wife?...even will smith n jada?...e be like say u don see one olosho with heavy make up wey ur eyes don dey chook dats y u r giving one lame asthma excuse...oniranu.leave her n regret it
ReplyDeleteBV1: Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical or emotional abuse. Becareful that it does not lead to depression or worst. Seek help if necessary. Knowing whom you married, stop telling him things about your family, friends or anything he can use against you. Abusing him back is not the answer because that is not who you are. Sit him down and let him know his abuse is affecting you. Most times it is their insecurities that pushes them to attack.
ReplyDeleteNobody can tell you how to handle your marriage because you are the one wearing the shoes. You know what you can bear and when it is times to relieve your burdens.
BV2: smh! Really? Have you seen pics of football players with their wives or girlfriends? O di egwu o.
My comment has never shown
ReplyDeleteTo the 1st poster, My dear, I think you are looking for validation to leave your marriage. You are certainly not going to get that from Stella. It is a sin to tell someone to leave their marriage. That decision has to come from you alone. My advice to you is probably what your mum would have told you, Never ever sell out your family to a spouse. Keep your family issues private!!!. Then, search yourself if you are doing anything that is irritating your spouse, work around it nd try to keep the peace. Am sorry to also say that your spouse sounds like he is badly brought up, but you are now married to him, so try nd make it work. As for the beating....sorry about that too...a lot of Nigerian boys and men are not taught how to be good husband's. Most of their Father's have not shown good examples. Avoid his trigger buttons nd don't bother about reporting him to his people!!. Then finally, it can't be over emphasized....pray for your husband!!.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, u are in for it, after cussing ur parents, then u abused him back, e come dey pain am, so he didn't know it was painful to abuse ones family, now he has started beating, it will not stop, now dat he knows he can lay his filthy hands on you, it will never stop, it is enter u find something to break his head and run to ur parents house, in short u need time out fast, I hope u work, or else he will expect you to come back and beg, but if u stay in dat house, he will break u down emotional, so pls waka
ReplyDeletePoster 1: some guys are feminine in nature, Pls don't divorce him o but learn how to be quiet when his uncouth mouth starts running. He's a coward to some extent if not he won't use ur family or story u ve told him to hurt u if he's smart let him come up with new ways of correcting u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: kai! Men! Men!! So u want to walk away jez like that after wearing d suits she washes to work, after everything u ve mentioned to us, what if ur next is asthma free ,wears loud make up but dirty also stains ur house with lipsticks of different colours, u can manage ur gf's situation if u are her God sent. If not Pls leave her b4 it's too late, heart breaker oshi. But wait o u met her on badoo eehneehn maybe I go go badoo since I no get friend for SDK blog Hehehehehehehe. Happy sunday y'all.
Oro re o eyin Ara.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: please note that this is the beginning of the beatings he's been reserving. Pls don't exchange words with him in the manner that he does to you. Walk out on him when he starts (if it won't attract any beating) and cool off. Talk with him,Pray for him and hope he doesn't do this verbal 'madness' with your children.
Poster lastma (Asthma)
shey oo riwipe o ti mad gan. You enjoy all the caring she gives with all her heart but you can't return the love by standing by her? Oma blow ni. Like you didn't see how 'petite'. She's been since you met. Barae dasoun ko make up mind e
#2: Good God Almighty!!! You've had your fill and wouldn't mind the occasional "booty call", yeah? Honey, please set the poor girl free so her "prince charming" can mend her broken heart. Leading her on because you don't want to hurt her feelings, will only end up hurting her more.
ReplyDelete
This actually has a hilarious side to it but, it would be tasteless to laugh because someone's emotions are involved. I'm not one for crying over spilt milk, I'm more of a damage control person but...I'll tilt in your case. This is a textbook case of cause and effect, you knew long before now that she wasn't your type but the sex probably "bent you outta shape" that you allowed your greed and lust cloud your humanity. Probably, you were jolted back into reality by some leggy chic you have your eyes on now. Suddenly, you feel guilty because invariably, you'll have to break the undersized asthmatic homely girl who has upgraded herself to "woman of the house", poor thing! The guilt is the price you have to pay for encouraging her when you could have put her out of her miseries a couple of years back. Oh! Lest I forget, brace up lover boy, stress is one of the triggers of bronchial spasms (otherwise known as an asthmatic attack). The longer you stall the breakup, the worse the situation will get.
Honey, save your breath with all the excuses of height and ailments. The truth is your don't love her, you never did. You have to break up with her as gradually as you possibly can. This certainly isn't one of those yank off the band aid scenarios. You've really got quite a task ahead but please, please and please, never date her or anyone out of pity. That's one of the worst mistakes you can make.
So ladies, I hope this can give you some perspective into how the mind of most guys work? Aim at winning his heart with your legs closed. Be sure his heart beats faster for you before you throw in the "extras" unless, of course, you don't mind being his play thing. I am sure that poor girl will be out there in blissful delusion that she has a "Boo" who loves her, she may even be browsing online wedding sites! Awww!
You write so well dear! Thumbs up!
DeleteI want to be your friend. I like your views on marriage and other topics.
DeleteTry and make it short dear. You are the opposite of Pat ogar.
DeleteTry and make it short dear. You are the opposite of Pat ogar.
DeleteRonalda please listen to anon 9.03
DeletePoster 2! !Asthma is not a death sentence, it can be managed properly, above all with love, care and attention. Which I think you lack.
ReplyDeleteAlso I think you have another lady, that's why you now know that she got all what you have written.
In fact you are a *Triple co***d*...
Am just feeling pain for the lady.....
N1 : ave seen first hand examples. I advise you to stay and fight for.your marriage except when the beating gets constant, then carry your baby and run!!!!.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't tell him anything. Don't!!!. Tell him only the basics about your family. Alright??. You would be fine. For oda singles out there : look before you leap!!!
N2: better know what you want. It's just d girl I pity. She has slept with you already. Women keep your cookies for your husband's. Well, dats btw.if you don't like her, leave her. Abi you fit force love??
When did height become such a big deal, to d extent of being a deal breaker. Her height didn't bother you when she was playing wifey role to you, it didn't stop u from banging her. You really don't love her, if you do, u will look past her physical attributes and appreciate her for who she really is.
ReplyDeleteNumb 1: plz walk out bfr he kills u 1dai,dem no de tak husband go Heaven ooo ma sista....
ReplyDeleteNumb2: ur a fool,u want reply frm sane pple like ur sane....u nva saw al dis till nw ya? Men r soooo ungreatful I swear,she does evryfin fr u n yet u want to leav her...wat if u marry d Tall gal n she gvz u Hell? Bloody bastard,shey u don fuck her turn turn,nw u wan find new babe.... #thatswhyihatemenbcostheyareallstupidandselfish
~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
N0 1. Please ensure you don't talk back at him and also pray for your home. I'm sure he's not always nagging. Seize those moments when he's calm and you two are having a swell time to tell him how he's hurting you. I'm sure it will touch his heart for a change with ur prayers. Your silence whenever he nags will also make him change. N0 2. Please have a re-think before you make your future wife your GF and ur GF a future wife. Not all that glitters is gold. Will u be happy if ur sis or daughter is treated d ways u want to treat dis said lady?
ReplyDeletePoster one, you shouldn't have tolerated his insults to your family from the very instance it started...it's rather too late to retaliate. Never tell your spouse demeaning things about your family, they would surely look down on them. Goodluck with your decisions.
ReplyDeletePoster No 1, When he started abusing you & your parents, I would ask you to start singing and dancing, in that way, you didn't reply him. He will get angry and say something that will hurt you, you just have to ignore him, but if he lay his hands on you, give him a strong warning that if he tried it again, he will spend a long time in jail. And I think you should report him to someone close to him that you know will not side him.
ReplyDeleteIf the beating continue, I will advice you to move out for short period or even for good.
Anon6:43, u said she should be singing and dancing when d man is talking, I can see dat u want him to kill her finally, someone gave advice inhere dat, she should chew gum very loud dat d man's head will explode, that type of husband will beat d demon out of her, dis ur advice get as e be, my pple she needs a little break, for now or else d man wil continue to beat, now that he has started beating you, he will not stop until you take action. I have dis cousin dat d husband use to beat her silly, then she was newly married, she will go to one corner of her parlour and keep on crying, until he comes to tell her sorry. Her husband continued to beat her and he also stop telling her sorry, dis lady I am taking about is a tomboy, in her youthful day, it got to a stage, she could not take it anymore. She descended on the man, after he gave her triple slap, she gave him hot slap and gave him slam jam, d man dey for ground for like 5min, before he recovered, he quietly, Went to d bed and lay down, and since then d beating has stopped. So poster 1 since d beating has started it will continue, pls kindly take a break for now, to cool off d heat. Poster 2, u go soon take wife do girlfriend, and come take girlfriend do wife, then u will come to Stella blog to ask for advice, pls kindly let her go, so her broken heart can heal fast, abeg no carry her enter 2015, then u come break her heart, like my husband will say, when a man dates a lady for 6months, he will know if she is marriage material, ooh lest I forget, he is asthmatic too, and we have been married 6good year, so pls let d young lady go and don't marry her out of pity. I don tire make I go sleep.
Delete#1 : Your situation is a game of chance. If you stay, he may change to a better person or worse than he is now. Do whatever your heart tells you.
ReplyDelete#2: When you knew she was not the type you wanted, why did you start what you cannot finish? You better start preparing her mind for the end. Tell her all you want is courtship, let her decide when to leave. No woman deserves a man who is not proud of her. Rose
Hmmmmm boring Sunday for Mua.
ReplyDeleteP1: Every relationship has its own challenges. There is no all rosy relationship. Try ignoring his flaws and focus on his good points. Yes his goods points because he can't be all bad/flaws.
P2: I think you skipped some stages in growing up. I mean you have passed through the four walls of school, NYSC and all. As this point in your life you shouldn't be considering physique as a major point in your partner. Beauty is beyond the physical. From all what you have said she is a nice girl. Height? Buy her heels. Loud makeups: Talk to her about it. Asthma : Stick with her because it's not her making.
You have seen a good wife material now better buy all the yards o.
I have said my own.
poster 2 my brother is 6 6 and his gf is 5 feet but he loves her and adores her. he loves the fact that she is so small and fragile and he always protects her. he is always teasing that she is so easy to carry and move around when they are frying plantain. lol so no excuse. u knew she had ashtma yet you dey chop na now u know say ashtma na problem. o boy u dey find talk. she no dey make up which is. good because you dey see her real beauty unlike the one that pack make up and when they wash it off you will ask them ah have you seen my gf meanwhile na your gf be that but she don change from barbie to gollum. pls set her free let her see a man that adores her
ReplyDeleteLollllll he he he @ from barbie to gollum
DeletePoster No 2, you are a HEART BREAKER. Thats all I can say to you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 didn't u see her height before going into the relationship and secondly ur third leg didn't select d height.pls if u leave her becos of her health condition God won't forgive u, to mi I just feel ur third leg is tired of her p****.
ReplyDeletePoster 1- stop telling your husband things you know he can use against you.
ReplyDeleteyour situation can be checked. its not enough to walk away.
poster 2. you no just try at all.
let your conscience sort you out.
Ezenwanyi has already said it.
Deletenonsense bloglord.
Una can cause trouble sha....
DeletePoster 1 if u like tell all ur secrets to a man, my dear he ll still use it against u no matter d love he claims he has , learn to keep a little of ur secret especially family secret
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE has skeletons in their family closets....that is not an excuse for someone to disrespect me or my family talkless of someone who is supposed to be my confidant and bestfriend. My mother died after suffering to send my brothers and I to sch and my husband knows this, I love that woman so so much. So i cannot imagine him insulting her good name and I will keep looking like mumu!!!! I think it is rather childish and petty for your husband-Narrative 1-to insult your family members. If he has an issue with you, he should man up and say what it is. Now, I hope i am not seeing well, but did u post that he recently beat u? Well.....in my opinion, he wont stop till he kills u, 'they' never do.
ReplyDeleteLadies- dating or married-, NEVER discuss your family issues with your man, leave your parents and siblings out of any mistake he might end up to be, our parents deserve our utmost respect and their errors shouldn't come from our mouths much less to a stranger all in the name of love! Now you've learned the hard way, change your ways, maybe not for this guy but for EVERY stranger, friend, boyfriend, husband.
ReplyDeleteI detest domestic violence but I won't advise you to leave just yet, ignore his ranting when they start and shut the hell up, you gave him the bullets he's shooting with his mouth so live with it, if this is the first time he's ever hit you, stay and watch your mouth, becoming a serial bride no be am abeg, especially for your kids but if the beating continues, my sister waka abeg!
OLODODO
Poster 1, I really feel for you..reduce the things you tell him. Let him know how u feel when he does this. If he does again walk away to another room, don't give him that satisfaction. I cannot stomach a coward that hits a woman. You will have to figure that out hun.
ReplyDeletePoster 2...when you met her did you think she was still growing? You have a good woman and possibly a wife; if you not attracted, the sooner you let her go the better for her.
Poster 1. very sorry ohh. your case is easy. stop telling him things you wouldn't want him to use against you and your family in future. Your case is really not one chance because you didn't say if he is a gold digger or not. no marriage is rosy. forget about the public display of affection you see outside. at home they are fighters
ReplyDeletePoster 2.
You have found a wife material but your ojukokoro eyes dey find another thing. A girl that's so natural and dont like make up is a wife material.... I pity your life. tomorrow you will find a girl that's 8ft tall and she starts dealing with you, you will run here with another chronicle
In marriage u have to play to win, now thats scary, are husbands and wives not meant to be on the same team?,may God help us
ReplyDeletethis goes out to the ladies, don't idolise boyfriends a man has done nothing for u until he makes u his wife
ReplyDelete#1 How can you give your hubby free ticket to hit you so dearly. A lesson to learn. You have to watch your mouth and pray. Don't leave your home. I tell my hubby things abt my siblings just to get his opinions at times but there are some lines I don't cross. In fact na dey better better things I dey yarn abt them n him de tell me his own even his younger bros dey yarn me.
ReplyDelete#2 You are heartless, my sis has Asthma/married with kids n still bubbling, it can be managed with God all things are possible. Mind you, you can go for those sexy ladies thinking you will find peace there but end up in disastrous way, why not grab the happiness God has given you.
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