The Chronicles needs your input today!..
HIV?...OMG,shes too young!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE.
INITIATING FIGHTS FOR SEX
I am a young 24 year old woman got married last year as a virgin. My husband is few years older than I am. We decided to chill on child making because I got married as a virgin. Something has been happening that although may seem funny and nice, seems very strange to me. Whenever my husband and I have just normal husband and wife fight, doesn't matter who is at fault,once we settle it he gets an erection which always leads to sex.
At first it seemed nice but as time went by I had to ask why this na, he says he doesn't know, that maybe cos he can't resist me. Dear sdkers I don't know if I should be bothered, has anyone ever experienced this before? Please advice me.
P.s I love making love to my husband, am just a little bothered about this occurrence.
*If he doesnt initiate the fights and it isnt often then it might be okay.might just be something crazy in his head,might just be harmless..why are you looking for problem where there might be none?
But then again,I just might be wrong.
.........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
HIV POSITIVE HOUSEHELP NEEDS TO BE TOLD BUT HOW?
Hello Stella,how are you doing?I'm in a bit of a dilemma here and I need your BVs candid advice。I was billed to travel for a 16month course in Europe but plans changed and I had to defer。I had already made plans with a friend of mine in Abuja to take over my domestic staff till I get back,which she willingly agreed because she needed help just at that point。
As I had my change of plans，I quickly discussed with my staff who said she could send her niece to her instead。This came out as a great idea as her niece is 15years old，orphaned，and dependent on my helps basic salary。My friend had joyfully agreed to pay her 15k monthly ＋ 5k additional pocket money ＋ sponsor her secondary education by Sept next year（she＇s currently in SS2）。I sent her to Abuja from Calabar on Friday 3rd Oct。
Last night my friend sent a BBM msg asking me to let her know the best time to call as she had done a routine test and found out that the girl had tested positive to HIV。I freaked out immediately。She explained that she usually conducts tests on newly employed staff but delayed on this one because she＇s just 15years old。She did another test in a different lab and the results stayed same。How do we break the news to her？
What steps do we take in ensuring that she is protected from stigma？This girl shuttles between her 2 grandma＇s houses and her late parents sisters＇。No one is directly responsible for her except my own help who pays her fees from the salary I pay her。She said her brother（the girl＇s late Dad）asked her to look after her on his dying bed。The Dad died 2 years ago。Her Mum died when she was 2。My friend is sending her back on Monday。Prior to this，she had good plans for this girl。The girl is a good girl，big for her age，no one would know she＇s 15years old,she looks 18，well rounded,voluptous and too mature for her age。I plan to conduct another test when she gets here and seek counselling ／retroviral drugs if results are same but what happens to her afterwards？Advice please。I need to act fast。
*OMG
#N1: Your husband is not normal.
ReplyDelete#N2: 15years old already very sexually active, good girl indeed! Then again she's from Calabar where anything goes. Ok bye!
Na wa 4 ur ignorance, it is only through sex one can get infected with the virus abi? Many of these helps are not aware that they are carriers of all sorts, its quite un4tunate, dont know what to advice.
Delete2 of the helps i intended to employ had hepC 1 HIV. God help them o
So as far as your ignorant self is concerned the only way to contact HIV is through sex? Why don't u tie your legs together and pretend to be a mermaid. Oxygen thief!
DeleteNa wa 4 u o @jayEm!!! Her husband is not normal? How? Smh.
DeleteYour ignorance is earth shaking. You need to comit suicide.
DeleteHello Mr, Miss or Mrs, u shldn't just conclude like dat that her husband is not normal especially if you are not a doctor. There's absolutely nothing wrong in d man having sex after fights, it's make up sex and it's usually sweet, it only shws dat d emotional attachment is still there... Poster, u've got no problem as long as that's not d only time he has erection
DeleteNachricht1: some men are like that! They call it *I can't resist you* though it may sound sweet, there is a BUT he might pick a fight any time he's in the mood to ring you!I think Your hubby loves you!
DeleteNachricht2: she must be told, she has every right to know now! Before she spreads it further! Call her and talk to her, let her know she has caught the virus and need to start taking the medication!
For those saying she has started going behind at 15, didn't it occur to you that she might have been raped sometime in the past or she might have caught the shit through other means I'm not saying she didn't go behind o don't get me wrong!
Pepper ose oku
Oga abi madam, hiv is not only contracted tru sex..u get sense at all?
DeleteHeight of ignorance!..so HIv can only be gotten through sex sheey?..dnt mind how u use sharp objects u hear? Lemme nt see ur chronicle here
DeleteHow dull can you be? Is HIV only transmitted through sex? :s
DeleteOga park well!
JayEm @tyms you speak like someone that needs brain boosting ah ahn! You kidding ryt?! Must it be tru sex, can't it be tru an unsterilized equip. Pls grow up
DeleteAll these anonymous commenters need to calm down. It's not my fault the level of my intelligence left you all in awe that your brains stopped working and couldn't interprete the intended message.
Delete99.9% of HIV +ve persons got infected through sex, the remaining 0.1% are not Nigerians.
Group hug people!
Hahahahahahaha ignoramus are comin out one by one. Shame on you
DeletePepper, where have u been nau, I don use torch light find u tire, chei! Its good to see ur comment. One love !
DeletePoster one people are just wired in different ways. You may be shocked to discover this may not always be the case with your husband. I dont really know about the erection but after a fight or quarell, it is not unusual to have mind blowing make up sex. I recall an incident that was soooooooooooooooo terrible and after myself and hubby made up, it was straight to sex and after everything even me i tire for myself.
DeleteAnother thing i notice is when he is upset or troubled, he can be quite horny and during that time, he is a bit hard with the love making like a bull in a china shop if you know what i mean; very vigorous thrusts. I have to calm him down at times. So dont worry about anything; dont forget u are a new couple too. Just relax and enjoy your marriage.
story two. dont take too much on yourself dear. if u choose to run the test again, then go ahead, let her recieve counselling from a trained specialist and then SEND HER ON HER WAY with more encouragment and good wishes. You didnt put her in that position and the best you can do is ensure she recieves proper counselling, medication and more advise so she gets herself attached to a government hospital back in her home state once she arrives. She needs to know this will ensure her survival to a large extent. THATS ALL YOU CAN DO; go on with your life afterwards. Life is complicated enough!
Here's my story: my nanny has been with me for about 1.5yrs now. About some months ago, I got a new staff and decided to do the routine test for both of them on my friend's advice. I never did this in the past. Lo n behold, my dear girl tested + to HIV. I was in shock. Immediately I took my kids in to test them. That was the most traumatic 30mins of my life. Thankfully, they were fine. Here's her story: when she was a kid about 8/9, she was ill n needed a blood transfusion. Her uncle donated and no screening was done. This was in the village. Couple of yrs later, when she was in js3 or so, free govt testing was carried out in her school n she was told of her status. She was confused n her parents too. She was a Virgin n still is by the way. Not long after, same uncle became ill and that was when they knew it had to be the transfusion. I believed her because I spoke with her mum and aunt even before she got a chance to n it was the same story. She is so good with my kids it's unbelievable. She wasn't on medication yet but I was told her levels were bad n she was going to start getting sick soon. I discussed it with hubby, we decided to get her registered for drugs first while we decide what to do with her. 7months later, she's still here, doing amazing on her drugs, I do more with the kids as per bathing brushing. My mum agreed to take her if I get someone else since there are no little kids with her just herself n my dad n that way she can go to school cos I told her, doing this job, not too many people will give her a chance. She needs to go back to school n get some other qualification. Long and short Jay em, the 0.1% might be around u. Give people a chance, their story might just shock u. Oh, I have done another test on my kids cos I know they say it might not show immediately and they're fine.
Deleteu are a good person.may God bless u
DeleteSex after fight is d best sex ever .....Please park well...u gat no problem darlin!
ReplyDelete2) #SPEECHLESS.....
Make up scene is always romantic joor. So its normal enjoy ur man.
DeletePoster 1: can't seem to understand what exactly the prob is. Everyone loves make up sex* u probably are the problem here.
DeletePoster 2:
Nawa. Talk to ur own help and give ur own widow's mite for the girl to kick off treatment. She'll be fine (not minding d age). Hiv is no longer a death sentence
Pls bv's for d 1st time in 10 yrs I checked my husb fone cos he was talking slowly while on a call. I decided to check cos It was suspicious. D tins I saw almost made me lose my breath. From nude pix to love messages, in fact d pix he uses as a billboard for his office is actually his lover's. She's demanding for a new car and in fact der love is so strong and she's not even d only one. I have been so depressed since today. Dnt no how to go abt it. I feel like just running away wit my kids. I feel like adding d girl up on Facebook and chatting wit her. Pls can some1 just tell me how to handle dis before he returns cos I called him and told him we need to talk. Pls it's urgent,.
DeletePlease tell us how it went.
DeleteMake up sex is the best ever!!
Deleteposter numero une-your case na akamu case,
ReplyDeleteposter numero two-this one pass me oh ,poor girl ,let me sit back and listen to our wise ones on sdk.this blog na full time school.
My sister this blog na d real school of life, I learn everyday
DeleteToyin?
Delete@ the 15yrs old wit HIV,such a sad tale. She needs to knw,might be surprise @ her response.Jst sit her dwn afta u hv confrimd with ur own test wit the HIV cancelling team. Hvin HIV is neva the end of the world,she can live a normal life. Good the thing u are so kind hrtd to assist her. Let her knw u are so in support,notin mks one feel cool abt it whn dey hv sm1 in support. As for stigma,dnt worry abt that yt,9ja is coming to terms abt it. Is no longer mch as it is used to be,my advice tho.
ReplyDeleteCounseling (US) or counselling (BRITISH/ELSEWHERE) team
DeleteWinks, you are welcome.
BLOG ANALYSER: Exactly! I support ur idea 100percent
DeleteN2: take her to a counselling centre but discuss it first with your help.at the counsellor's office,she will be informed HIV is not a death sentence,infact the world is less bothered about it now cos she can live her normal life if she stays healthy and use her drugs.even without HIV,arent we all suppose to live and stay healthy?
ReplyDeleteThere are more deadly infections out there and HIV is just a child's play compared to them. The day i lost a friend to a liver disease(forgotten the name) because they said it has no cure,that was the day HIV is compared to common headache in my head.Akunyili died of cancer which has no and can not be managed(rip to her). So stella stop screaming when bv's post HIV story cos its not a death sentence,all they need is right counseling. Instead encourage ur bv's to go for HIV screening once in a while(early detection helps) as there is nothing to be afraid of. Live healthy and stay safe.
A million likes!!! Hiv is not the end of the world. She should go for counselling
DeleteWow!!! I can only keep mute and read comments...I feel for the Lil girl..this life is so unfair.
ReplyDeleteI dey tell u. I don't know what to say.
DeleteNo 1, there is nothingwrong with your husband and marriage. You have nothing to worry about. Haven't you heard of the saying that make up sex is always the sweetest?
ReplyDeletePlease chill.
No 2:
First of all, take her to Sisters of Nativity Hospital at Jikwoyi phase by Mobile filling station. HIV screening and retroviral drugs there are free. They will perform all sorts of test for her including CD4 count . The viral load will determine if they will place her on retroviral drugs or not. I have sent people there before and they counsel and monitor them very well. Everything is free.
Do not panic. It can be well managed. My only fear is that the girl isn't in a proper home where she will be guided.
At least start the basic one first. Let her viral load be checked out first, then you can start from there.
Goodluck.
Nice and practical.
DeleteN1: Its hard to say but you need to ask him some questions, you can do so playfully. Ask about his exes, their fights, etc. Stella is right, does he initiate quarrels? Also, during the after-fight/quarrel sex, is he rough or normal?
ReplyDeleteN2: It is very sad what has befallen here. Probably, she is sexual active and does not know she has it. For her age and exposure, she needs to be sat down and talked to, about life, men, etc, she needs to know all including the bitter truth of her condition. Then do the best you can for her please. I hear that with good diet, exercise & anti-retroviral drugs, sometimes it is hard to detect the virus on the person some years later.
May our kind & merciful Lord continue to bless you
N:2 : what a sad tale! Kai! Don't even know what to say. Children especially those who have lost their parents, are so vulnerable! God help her.
ReplyDelete#N1 I don't think there is anything wrong with your husband having erection after fight. It is normal. Make up sex is always good. Stop bothering your self.
ReplyDelete#N2 Hmmmm, only God knows how she contacted the disease. It might not be thru sex. I think the girl need to know about her HIV status. Tell her, let her know HIV it's not a death sentence. Advice her about retroviral drugs.
Her both parents are late...what if they both had the HIV virus??? what if she was both with the virus??? Maybe your own domestic staff(her aunt) knows about her neices HIV status but never thought your friend wld get her tested. Well.. if she isn't aware yet..you just have to take care of her,educate her about it and give her hope...
ReplyDelete#1# you dont have a problem.......#2# am short of words cos I don't no what 2 say.....dis one pass me oooh!! POTABLE VIV
ReplyDeleteN2. I wouldn't blame your friend for sending her back. As soon as you carry out the test, you let her know, of course with a counsellor present. Since she is matured for her age I think she would understand, just make her understand that her life depends on the advice you and the doctor gives her.
ReplyDeleteDon't go buying antiretroviral drugs just because she is positive, it depends on her viral load (doctors correct me if am wrong), taking the drug should be on doctor's advice.
Please help her the much you can. God bless you.
Exclusive esther I pray u win d watch oooo hian u are a real hustler. ...
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Lamooo that first post is so damn funny... Nw yu knw what turns ur husband on, i think yu can have sex anytym yu want....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Poster 1, you are looking for problem where there's none, maybe he doesn't know why, abeg park well and enjoy your marriage jare.
ReplyDeletePoster number 2 tell her and let her start treatment immediately! The earlier the better, biko forget about the stigma abi whatever, you guys can keep it on the down low! HIV no dey show for face, what's important is that she commences treatment as soon as possible.
She could have had associations with someone with the virus and taken advantage of, so she might be promiscuous but a victim of circumstance.Anyways sit her down and talk to her and tell her the dos and don't and let her start her treatment immediately!!!!
Bitchplis my love, HI!!!!!!!����
Hi sweetie
Deletehehehehe.....Stella,,watch dis space!!!
DeleteSex after fight is so damn sexy and do not bother your little head over nothing. 2nd poster,do you think you can really help that girl?do not start what you can't finish.
ReplyDeleteNarator 1, ur husband has got no problem...thats how his hormones work...sex is a psychological thing, there is nothing wrong, enjoy ur marriage n stop panicking over nothing, before u begin to get odd advice. Narator 2, this is a tough one dear, can see u re a nice person, to even consider her coming to ur house. U need to have another test done on her, if d results comes out d same, that means she's got HIV. mind u HIV is no aids, she just needs proper counselling n constant intake of retroviral drugs. What has happened has happened, she can't take back d hands of time. U can send her back to her people after d counselling n if God leads u to help her financially from time to time, that will be great. She can still live her life, complete her schooling n live her dreams. HIV is no death sentence, there are lots of peeps out there with HIV who are living well. But she can join d campaign for HIV/ AIDs. She can join certain NGOs who campaign against stigmatisation n sensitisation of the disease. It is well dear, Life must go on, d struggle of life continues. That's my take on ds narrations.
ReplyDelete#N1....pls lets talk about serious issues here.Wetin concern me with sex with ur hubby??
ReplyDelete#N2...You need to tell her anyhow and find out how many partners she must have had in the past.Please, beg her to abstain from having sex or protect our wayward men by ensuring she uses condom b4 sleeping with any of them.
Above all, assist her in buying necessary drugs n let her go back to wherever she came from.
Dear poster 1, You decided to chill on baby making because you got married as a virgin? It is okay to wait if you want to,but please virginity has nothing to do with it...
ReplyDeleteI think your hubby is just spicing things up...it will become strange if he tries to pick fights with you every single time he needs to have sex...which is almost everyday na,even tho sex is not food. Or if his penis refuses to get hard because you refused to have a fight with him!! Gobe
We are all romantic virgins here.
DeleteBuhahahahaha
DeleteBuhahahahahahahaaha!
DeleteLMAO....wide eyed,,u no serious at all. na real "romantic virgins" full dis blog oo.
Deletechei..hw cum na at poster two.dis one pass me......jayem r u dis uninformd?cnt it b contractd only thri sex n must u go tribalistc?.ur lots av d worst kinda diseases..........culled by JENNY
ReplyDelete1, It mught just pass off soon. It could be a phase or anxiety of not loosing you cus of the fights. 2, is she still a virgin, whatever the case may be your mothers love of assisting her with antiretroveiral drugs us just fine, but till when?
ReplyDeleteMiss ess pls always check your typing b4 sending thks
DeleteCongrats and welcome to the club of newly married n miserable wives of lagos. They marry u keep u at home to elevate their pedigree then cheat on u with underage uni students with questionable backgrounds. A man will have a diamond at home and still fuck around with cubic zicronia. I tire jo. Lagos wives, how do u survive?
ReplyDeleteYou sound defeated! Like you have resigned yourself to fate! Mbanu!
DeleteOga's amu will soon get tired of piompiotompio..lol... I wish you happiness dear...
Hmmmm...lemme continue thanking God for my life ooh..e no easy!
Na wa for this anonymous oh! Na wetin! You left this exact same comment on linda's blog under the orange drugs oil in wedding. Abeg, chill, get up n get to work! Obviously your diamond status is all in ur head. Hubby might hv found a rarer gem outside. My husband was a cheat, I would cry n then one day I just stopped! I took my biz to the next level, focused on my kids and grew my biz so much so that my hubby's attitude changed! It was unbelievable. If he was cash trapped he could ask for bailout from me until his next cheque arrived. More respect came my way and all the accolades followed. Trust me, make urself a success story and you'll be amazed at how his attitude will change. Then you'll see that to him, you'll be the rarest gem ever! Don't dull yourself!! Success is the antidote to a cheating spouse unless he's also very unsuccessful then it isn't.
DeleteStella pls I sent u an email from hikrabis plsssss post it I need answersss. God bless
ReplyDeletePoster two, you can't leave her at this point cos I guess she came into your life @ this point for a reason. Happy you know she can be stigmatised. Take her for another test, and if it stays same, you will need to plan out her life till she finishes secondary school, maybe place her in a boarding school. It's important you have plans for her before breaking it to her so the plans can console her and make her know that you all are not abandoning her. It will help her adjust, pls make sure she attends counselling so she knows her life is not over yet. May God give you wisdom and finance to do all you need to do.
ReplyDeleteshe might have born with it.
ReplyDelete#N1 As far as is not only wen you guys first that he does his manly biz no p
ReplyDeleteBut if is the other way round you are in for a long thing
#N2 HIV @15th na woooooooo
visit my blog janeofodile.blogspot,com
poster 1: you do not have a problem at all.
ReplyDeletemake up sex is always the best.
awww...I better initate a fight with my hubby right away.....
poster 2:
wow! you need to talk the girl like a mother would talk to her daughter.
calmly ask her about her sex life, who she has been sleeping with OR how careless has she been with sharp objects? does she make her hair i.e sew weavon at public salons with their needles etc.
when you are done with the Q/A session, calmly but carefully break the news to her. let her know its not the end of the world. counsel her.
better still, if you are not good at it, get a counsellor to do this with you.
that said...what do you intend to do with her afterwards? I know you will be scared having her living with you knowing her status
@ poster 1 I c no issue with your husband wanting to have sex with u all the time....u should b worried when he stops or doesn't find u attractive
ReplyDelete@poster 2 well I don't knw wat to say,u just have to find a way to help out that young girl,probably how she can get regular drugs,h.i.v is just a virus and if properly taken care of she can live just fine..u don't hv 2 abandon her!
ANGELRAY SAYS
ReplyDeleteSome guys like crazy sex, like after a fight, but I think is even sweeter than normal sex.
Poster 2, what are u waiting for, plz send her away asap, good girl my ass.
It's very myopic that even do called educated people think HIV is only gotten thru sex.... Except u are an orphan u won't umderdtsnd how easy it is for men to take advantage of u at this stage..... Poster pls if your test proves positive take her to Luth for treatment..... Help a life and do something positive for another person...God reward u as u help her.... God might have brought u her way to help her in life....
ReplyDeleteMadam virgin, N 1, You are just looking for problem that isn't there, i beg go find work do. N 2, you have to let her know and try and assist her the best way you can, hope she no get the XYZ from your end sha? I just say make i ask o.
ReplyDeleteMake up sex,the bestest. Buy if he's d one always initiating d fights,then there might be a problem. Otherwise, just as Stella has said,stop looking for trouble where there's none.
ReplyDeleteN2, softly package her back to where she's coming from cos she's still a child and may not be able to be as careful in comporting herself especially if around your kids,but not without assisting her in every way possible
Sherry's daughter
Jayem it shall never be well with you in life.... As long as only negative thoughts proceed from you u will not know good in your life..... U are a terrible person cos the abundance of your heart is all negative and wicked..... Oni sorire laye
ReplyDeleteAhaaa! Dats too much na
DeleteI dont like all she/he says all the time but you need to SERIOUSLY CHILL WITH CURSES i beg. This na just cyberspace, you nor know person for here personally. She nor dey drag you money for real life so calm the FUCK DOWN!!!
DeleteAnon,,u are just as terrible as the person u are cursing. If u dont have negative thoughts too,,u wont curse someone u dont know and may never know dis much. haba,,kilode?? Is there no other way u can make ur valid points without cursing? hian!!!
DeleteNo1.Make up sex is sweet o, enjoy! No2. This is serious o, speechless!
ReplyDelete'Normal hubby n wife fight'? Pls are there no couples who don't fight at all?
ReplyDeleteEven ur teeth and tongue fight,,siblings fight,,identical/non identical twin(s) fight....how much more two different people from different backgrounds,,with different beliefs who just come together to build a family?? The fight d poster is referring to is not d "gidigbo" fight ooo,,just some arguments and misunderstandings that can be resolved amicably. If two people live under the same roof and there's never a misunderstanding,,,,then they are both deceitful people...
DeleteMy sister had a case of an 18 year old girl brought from Akwa ibom as a maid that tested positive to Hiv funny enough when she was told about it she didn't know what Hiv was but knew about Aids she was counsel and sent back. With these house help one needs to be careful.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you i had a case like this i knew of personally; nor be use ear hear o. During my NYSC days i lived with a relation who had kids and needed a help. She got someone and as was her usual practise the young girl was sent for test at a private hospital and it came back positive. To ensure she was doing it right, my aunt ensured the test was repeated at a Government Hospital but unfortunately it was the same. On that day, the girl was counselled at the govt hospital and told all the usual its not a death sentence blablabla and informed about the need to get on her medication ASAP. This young girl, kicked a stink and began grumbling all the way from the hospital to the house. She packed her load (she for kuku commot before) and this time began yelling ''God forbid, nor be me in Jesus name, i WAN COMMOT HERE! Call my brother i wan commot now as una dey lie for my head''.
DeleteThis was someone who was supposed to care for young children, a girl not older than 17/18. I tell you till date it still shocks me when women bring strangers to care for their kids and dont bother about doing this basic health check. At the end of the day we can only rely on God to take care of our kids but my dear i can not forget this experience nearly 6/7 years later.
Especially ndi calabar.
DeletePoster number 2:She has to be told, no matter what. She could have gotten it through any means. Its just so sad for one whose life is just starting. There are counselors in hospitals for this, in case you don't know how to go about telling her.Its well.
ReplyDelete* tasha barbie *
1- It's normal. Google "makeup sex". I see you don't have any real problems. Good for you.
ReplyDelete2- There are no 2 ways about it. Abi do you want to adopt her? If yes, good. If no, tell her and your help together. Do another HIV test just to be 100% sure.
Send her back to her base, break the news/hand her over directly to her grandmother or Aunt. Somebody has to be directly responsible for her.
If you are willing to help, register her at a teaching hospital closest to her base for anti retroviral and counselling. Send money to her regularly for her upkeep. Encourage her to complete her education.
Please drum it in her ears to stay off men.I can just bet that some foolish men that are always on the lookout to take advantage of small girls will contract it from her. No wonder it's spreading like wild fire
For the HIV positive househelp: I guess it depends on how far you want to help. Firstly, you have to ensure she gets into a treatment facility/HIV program for care and preservation of her immune function. Afterall, its Hiv and not AIDS. Some organizations exist in Nigeria that take care of people living with AIDS or orphans and vulnerable children. They can see to it that she gets some degree of care and the training to learn a trade. Finally, if you feel like it, you can decide to set aside a small upkeep amount for her till she is at least 18 or sponsor her to learn a trade. However, you are under no obligation to do this. This is just helping a fellow human being. Also, I do not intend to generate stigma, but you might have to reconsider having her in your home if you have kids so as to eliminate any risk of tranmission via blood or bodily fluids or even sex. Yes sex. Some househelps sleep with one's teenage children. These things happen. Take care, the decision is up to you.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous dear you said it all..a trade can be anything she feels she can do..but if she is really smart,you can enrol her back to school...some Government secondary schools take as low as 2,550 as school fees..books will not take more than 5k..lesson fee and minor things...she can be in calabar..at least let her finish up with secondary sch...Retrovirals can be got there too for free(that am not sure of)... God bless you as you help...xoxo
DeleteHad a similar exp with a househelp. Found out in the first wk. Gave her 50k and called her sis to break it to her. Linked her to a group that handles positive people in counselling and all so shes guided not to spread it and left the rest to God. It is well
ReplyDeleteBV 1
ReplyDeleteHonestly too much of everything is bad
This is not normal even though make up sex is wonderful
I hope this won't get to pain love
Well good luck!
BV2
Why re we blowing things out of proportion pls!
Doesn't matter how she got it
Fact it she HAVE HIV
Sit her down and talk to her
HIV is not as bad as everyone think
There re worse diseases out there
Earlier she start her drug the better and she must eat well
And b4 I got insults or name callings of my life
NO NO I don't have HIV
but have couple of friends that do have and re married and quite very healthy if they don't tell u, u won't know nor believe they do
Panic won't help solution pls
Only people like us living with Hiv can actually give d girl hope. Well, u shld take her to a teaching hospital, if u re in abj, take her to d national hospital in Abuja there is a section for Hiv patients only, if u re in lag take her to Luth(lagos university teaching hospital) in idi araba. All drugs are free. It's not a death sentence she only needs hope, faith and love to overcome d early phase of depression &challenges. No big deal abt it. I live my normal life and am living it to d fullest mehn! And u will never suspect or know cos am so healthy. Goodluck!
ReplyDeleteOnly people like us living with Hiv can actually give d girl hope. Well, u shld take her to a teaching hospital, if u re in abj, take her to d national hospital in Abuja there is a section for Hiv patients only, if u re in lag take her to Luth(lagos university teaching hospital) in idi araba. All drugs are free. It's not a death sentence she only needs hope, faith and love to overcome d early phase of depression &challenges. No big deal abt it. I live my normal life and am living it to d fullest mehn! And u will never suspect or know cos am so healthy. Goodluck!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, No 2, both hospitals or clinics should be sued!!!
ReplyDeleteYou do not conduct an hiv test without talking to the patient first. There is a reason for that. You won't have the awkward moment of'how do i tell them'.
You tell them before the test. We are going to be carrying out so so so test. And they always have counselors there to talk to them if they are positive!
N 1 Dats make-up sex baby!
ReplyDeleteI dont think dere is Any need for u to worry ur pretty head over dis....ur hubby ji egwu.u are d one slacking....LMAO
Buh seriously darling,chillax,its nothing!
N2,i can imagine how u feel.can feel d agony in ur voice.was in d same boat about two years ago.had always wanted to take an orphan and turn her life around.and so ma friend brought me a girl from a Remote villa.
D first time i set eyes on her i nearly passed out! No wonder ma friend kept "warning" me dat d babe was "somehow" o and dat i should be patient Bla Bla.
She arrived dat sunny Friday looking like an "ape"(pls dont cuss me out just yet,m going somewhere) was Sooo dark,Kai.couldnt speak a Word of D normal Igbo.only spoke her native Igbo which i coyldnt understand.so we used sigh language.
Hmmm,she didnt know how old she was.never been to school.her mom died shortly after she was born and her dad had 6 oda wives wit plenty oda kids.
I wanted to do dis buh i never bargained for d kind Work i would face.i was in shock.i entered d kitchen one sunday n dere was vomit eveeywhere.dey said Chinenye threw up cos she ate Salad.she hadnt being in a Car before so wenever she enters a Car,she gets Car Sick.she had massive boobs cos no one bought her a bra.so i got to work!i did so cos one day she asked me if i was Sad.cos i hadnt had brekkie.she used sign language dat ws how my heart just melted.i enroled her in a private school.my first daughter taught her how to count,i took her shopping,i did all i could to change her.in three months,no one could recognize her.and she was Soo happy.she learnt how to swim and Eat suya and ice cream and i was Soo proud of dis babe i had learnt to love.and in all dis,i had neglected to get d report of d Medical test i conducted a day after she came.sooo unlike me!she was thriving and i was happy i had transformed a life.till i got a call from d hospital...and ma life shattered!
I still call her from time to time.she is wit an uncle in Oji river.my heart stil breaks wenever i remember her.and d saddest thing is dat she was a virgin.we both cried and cried in d hospital dat fateful day.she didnt Even know wot was going.all she knew was dat wotever it was dat was making me cry was very serious.and dat thing had to do wit her.
Its being two years buh it gets no easier wen i remember d nicest,kindest girl i list.
This happened to me about two weeks ago too,found out my maid is HIV positive just after 5days they brought her.....It's a long story jare....if there's any way u could be of help to her,like helping her with retroviral drugs and checking up on her from time to time...
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1:ur hubby loves u,u know that song "when ur mad" I think the song is by Neyo....Enjoy ur marriage biko.
#2, Please, take her to a counsellor for proper advice on how to manage the condition. I think the stigma is no longer much. Many are aware of how the virus is spread. The Lord is her strength. Rose
ReplyDelete@poster 2 with the HIV positive maid!God don't let it happen to me,cos I don't know how else to handle it dan to send her back to her base!yes I am a coward unto such!
ReplyDeletePoster 1,i hope ur hubby isn't a BDMS practicer,#side eyes#i pray for u too dat God not let it be so.!#today I am actually very prayerful ni..#amen!
I have a frd wif HIV nd dats nt d end of her life,she is vry healthy nd eats well.jst tell her to start taking drugs cos u can nva tell if she got it tru rape *guess nobodi tot of dat* . God will c her tru
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
My heart goes out to her
ReplyDeleteSo young at 15
Only Jesus heals
Does she know Jesus?
The greatest healer ever.
Keep us updated about her case.
XOXO MYSTERY
she has HIV not have maam!
ReplyDeleteThank God for you Goddess of Dawn. You are the kind of person that sees things objectively. So what if she is HIV+? If the person really wants to help her then they should take her to a treatment centre for proper counselling and treatment and then give her the job because she needs it now more than ever! HIV is not a death sentence either for the carrier or those around her. How do I know this? I am HIV+ but I am living a full life. I was diagnosed with HIV in 2009 but I have been healthy till today! Never fallen ill withany complications ever and I have a beautiful daughter who is HIV NEGATIVE.
ReplyDeletePlease sending that girl away could kill her. What PLWHA need is care as you would for your own blood. Take her for treatment if you dont know what to say. Most government hospitals have these VCT centres. They will counsel her-and you- there. God bless you for your kind heart.
HIV is not a death sentence.The earlier she starts the drugs the better.
ReplyDelete@poster 2: why not look for an excuse when the girl returns and take the girl who has hiv and her aunt to a clinic for another round of tests? that way, they both get the results together and both get counselling from the clinic. they will need it.
ReplyDeleteyes, talk to him about it and take it from there.
ReplyDeleteman matter na shoulder dem de carry m no be for head otherwise...HBP.
My husband does same, I hv come to realise dts its more abt emotions. Certainly during a fight if it has gone on for days, u will both be sex deprived n during d making up process emotions are high. Finally after everything has died down , u both will be down for a good fuck.
ReplyDeleteWhether were a virgin at marriage or not sex is fun when u re with d right person.
I married a virgin n 4 years n two kids after,am still after my husband for sex at every opportunity.
If u love him having sex with him should never be an issue.