A MUST READ!!!
In an emotional interview with iCampus, Fela Durotoye,motivational speaker, author, CEO of Visible Impact (Management consulting firm) and husband of make-up entrepreneur Tara Durotoye,opens up for the first time about how his professor father left his mum for a nursing student and died just as he was about to leave his mistress and reconcile with his wife. The woman later confessed (after running mad) that she killed his father. Read what Fela said below…
''My father died because of an extra-marital affair. He had a great marriage but at one point in time he cut it off and left his home, few years later he died. He even died some days to when he was supposed to return home to my mother. He died a mysterious death because the lady said, if I will not have you, nobody will. Few years later, the woman ran insane and was saying all over that she killed my father. So now that I’ve seen what a strange woman can do to a man, it makes sense to stay in one place so I don’t put so many life at stake.
He died in 1982, I was 11 years old. It was so devastating because he went beyond just being my father, he was my best friend. He left home in 1977. I must have been six years old. He was gone for five years. It was at the point where he was trying to get back to his wife that he died in 1982. I never knew what it was like to be a child because my father never treated me like one. I was also his best friend, he used to relate with me like an adult . Even when he left my mum at Ife and was at Ibadan, I used to go to Ibadan every weekend.
My relationship with him blossomed till he died. He would send his driver to come and pick me up every weekend. I had to learn how to deal with seeing him and the other woman if I wanted to enjoy my dad. But I was always the centre of attraction every weekend I was with him. The woman was not a major thing I will deal with because my father would give us total attention. Before the separation, my father was a professor in physiology while my mother was a lecturer in Geology.
After he left the University of Ife, he went to set up consultancy firm in medical equipment and so on. My mum remained a professor at Ife. My mum was one of those amazing human beings that you can ever imagine. I cannot tell you how she did it but you can be such that it was God that helped her. And the most difficult part was that watching a man you of loved die in your hands. By the time my father was dying, my mum was right there. He died with his heads in her hands. I do not know how anybody would have done that. Many times my mum said maybe she should not have let him go. She always says that if she knew that the end of the matter would have been that way, she would have followed him with the other woman, she would never let him go.
I do not think that my father followed the other woman willingly, it was programmed. It wasn’t natural. I don’t think that he was in his total senses. His siblings were so upset with him, they had to leave him. We should not have allowed him to go into the hands of the devourer.
He used to tell me, don’t worry it is all going to be alright. Meaning that we are all coming back as family. I could see that he always wanted to go back home. His death was one of the most difficult things I had to overcome.
My mum had traveled on sabbatical to Belgium and at one point my father was passing through Belgium. And they had a very short meeting and who knew maybe the signal of the remote control did not get to Belgium. I think somehow the love was rekindled and there was a gentleman, Rev. Faniku who was also in Belgium at that time. He took it upon himself and work on it for almost a year and my dad was almost back to his senses. My mum is incredible brilliant and beautiful. There was no basis for comparison with the other woman who was a nursing student.
Then he fell ill with diabetes but there was no record of diabetes in our linage. He feels sick on Wednesday and died on Sunday morning. He just finished a meeting with my mother and he told the other lady that my mum was coming back home that she has to leave. She told him if she will not have him than nobody will (kaka kekumajesese, afisawadanu). By evening he had come down with a flu. By Monday he was already really sick, by Tuesday he was in the hospital and my Wednesday he was dead.
I have never talked about my dad like this before, I don’t know why I am doing it with you. You must be very special. I learnt that no matter how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman. I saw the joy of a successful marriage and I saw the pain of an unsuccessful one. I choose i will go for the joy of a successful marriage. Before my wife and i got married we went to pray and tell God that none of the things that happened in our parent’s marriage would happen in ours. We have tried so far.
Before the separation, they won the couple of the year award twice on campus. My father was an incredible brilliant man. He was the youngest professor in Nigeria as at when he became a professor in 1976. He was 35 or 36. My mum was beauty and brain. They were the happiest couple you can never imagine together.
A mistake of falling for a nursing student who was not even in his department caused all sort of troubles''.
Men u better learn
ReplyDeleteHis wife is very fortunate; a man with such experience will hardly ever stray. Men learn o.
DeleteClick my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
Touching story...is something we'all shud learn from it all boils down to the saying: women can make or break u it depends on the path u choose..
ReplyDeleteMy Motto;
#Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco
Men out there he you are reading
ReplyDeleteVisit my blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
Pele.
ReplyDeletewow! that's emotional. that's why we have to pray ALWAYS, ALWAYS. for ourselves and for family. so sad, the heart of man is desperately wicked.
ReplyDeleteI wish men would listen, those women outside, the would be your downfall!
ReplyDeleteMUST READ!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMistresses have been using juju since the world began. It's not news.
ReplyDeleteSingle ladies trapping men by whatever means, be ready! Your disgrace and downfall is just by the corner.
Married men, stay in one place. Stop using your wandering dicks to dig your graves and cause problems for your families.
Spot on
DeleteEyaaa...
ReplyDeleteAll these girls snatching married men and getting married to them never jam my type... na acid I dey pour..anorom na iko long story..
shut up na your type dey cry
DeleteRemote control things lol
ReplyDeleteI hope men will learn from this story
ReplyDeleteThis is a lesson for all those men and women with wondering eyes.It has been happening since time immemorial, ask Samson!
ReplyDeleteIf the desire for an assorted menu will lead you to destruction, it's better to make do with egusi soup all the days of your life than to eat all the banga, ogbono, gbegiri and other orisirisi, and end up with a truncated life in hell fire!
Na wa o.
ReplyDeleteHope d men are reading.
Must read!!
DeleteThose who have eyes
Read carefully
Understand it
Those who have ears
Hear and make use of it
True story!!
Mr Durotoye i salute ur courage to be able to tell this story
Must have been very painful for u and ur family
Thanx for sharing
Very true. The major cause of the Nigerian man's problem is his dick..hmm..
ReplyDeleteLOL
DeleteHmnn dis other woman thingy started wayback. Men shuld learn 4m dis
ReplyDeleteHmmm,food for tot.
ReplyDeleteHmmm,food for tot.
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteGOD BLESS NIGERIA,
*yaaawnnss* story that touch
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteGod I commit all marriages into your able hands.
Help us fight the enemies of marriage, whether they are in form of a spirit, animal, thing, man or woman, in Jesus name I pray Amen!
Amen!!!
DeleteTell them:the male folks that think not cheating makes them weak men!great men have been brought down by women from the days of old cos of a minute pleasure!men stop being greedy and stick to ur wives,then there will be no more runs gals!,..but will they ever listen?men!.#am sure some of them will read this and say;'story for d gods#
ReplyDeleteBLOG ANALYSER; Very sad bt imspiring.
ReplyDeleteWow! Quite touching! May we not hear d voice of a stranger in our homes. IJN. Amen!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!! So sad. The end result of a baddest side chick. This days they won't take you away o, they will folloq you into the house and face the woman there one on one. If she can't stay she is free to leave, if she stays all well and good.
ReplyDeletePls help us tell these men dat see cheating as a requirement 4 existence o! May our stories not be used as a lesson for others. You only know how a sin will start u don't know how it will end. Adultery can be terrible some pple av not been able to recover from it's damage
ReplyDeleteIts true o, this adultery thing comes with a curse o e.g those 2guys that died after linking up with "babes" from badoo, the politician at Gwaripa that dided after sex with a bank worker, the lady that was killed by her police husband after he found her with her lover......
DeleteWill men listen to this?? Associating with strange women can wreck your home! Even students are no longer innocent,nurses are no longer life savers alone!....some men just go out there to have one night stands and never return home..in the case of Fela D's father,he came back in a body bag!!
ReplyDeleteI keep saying it,it is not even wise to give strange females lifts dear men,you are easily gotten from what you see...So just stick your hands on the steering and keep driving please!! very key! Any woman that admires you can destroy that beautiful home you cherish so much,so avoid too much association and "side kicking"
Lastly, wives always cover your home with prayers(what can we do na?) both xtians and muslims..let the strange ones not take away our homes..now they not only travel to "Asaba",they also go to "India" so they can collect husbands...they are very proud even on blogs..May God save us ooh!!!
As in, that giving lifts thing is pure madness, I would never understand it, why would anyone buy trouble? When girls eyes dey shine?
DeleteVery well said! Wise woman!
DeleteGod help us. Amen
Awwww fela! This explains why he adores Tara! God give my future hubby this understanding!
ReplyDeleteI remember his mum and she was a pretty woman. Cant remember his dad though but a lot of these happened and still happen in Ife. Student lecturer relationship that breaks the home. Didnt Wole Soyinka leave his old wife for a student old enough to be their daughter. What i have learn and still learning is that the other woman is always around the corner hence a woman needs to be prayerful and reinvent the relationship . God help us o
ReplyDeleteGbammest reply! U can never pray too much. Just keep dipping ur hubby, kids, marriage and HOME in the blood of Jesus!
DeleteJuju wifi no reach Belgium. LoL!
ReplyDeleteInteresting interview but why so many gbagaunz? #rme
Sad tale. There is nothing new under the sun. Men will never learn. Some of them feel if you nor get babe for outside, you dey slack. See the way his dad ended. May God help us all, and protect our husbands' from evil women, who are looking for whom to devour.
ReplyDeleteSomeone once told me that men will always meet women outside, but pray he shouldn't meet a devourer.
For real i read all these ?..so pathetic Ά̲̣̥πϑ educating
ReplyDelete#umu nwanyi eeeeeeh
Hmmnnn...what strange women can really do
ReplyDeleteBinding them at midnight since 1900
Taking no chances!
Never under estimate the powers of a woman. A woman can make or break you.
ReplyDeleteIt will shock u that some men like the narrator will still be a. Dog,
ReplyDeleteMen die earlier dan their wives bcos of the involvement of strange women in their homes.
Tips for married ladies:- if ur man is cheating, start using condoms, praying, stealing money 4 ur hubby and start saving. If u both have joint account, stop.
Honey, you lost me at "praying, stealing money 4 ur hubby and start saving." which should come 1st, the praying or the stealing? Lol! Why steal his money when you can apply yourself and make your own money? Wealth can't heal a broken heart, it may only make you independent. Don't mess up your prayers with stealing. Even if you can't make your own money for whatever reason(s), please don't steal but if you must...It just looks odd to read prayer and stealing together in one sentence.
DeleteTouching story......but full of errors and inconsistencies. So did he die on a Wednesday or on a Sunday ? Anyway,moral of d story : don't give a strange man/woman a chance in ur marriage to avoid stories that touch.
ReplyDeleteTo all you ladies out there complaining about cheating husbands,its totally uncalled for.A real Man is not meant for only one woman.Men are always randy in nature,or have you ever seen a dick staying in one position as tohtoh?And moreover,the situation after a woman "s delivery somehow leads men to cheat elsewhere,or what do you expect a man to do ,when he has been advised by the doctor not to have sex with his wife for more than 40 days after delivery due to medical condition,and you will be seeing your wife nakedness everyday without touching?Abeg my dear ladies take it easy and face your priority now,which is your children.Once a woman give birth,the children psychologically turns to her husband in the absent of the her real husband.When the time comes,the man will realize his mistakes and come back to you fully.
ReplyDelete"A real Man is not meant for only one woman. Are u for real this dumb anonymous? I pray your wife cheats on you all the days of your life then you will feel the pain.
Deletedon't dull yourself o, some tohtoh wander more than some dicks educate urself. Its just that women involved in that shit don't do it openly
DeletePls women don't listen to this dumb advice. You can balance the attention you give your hubby and children. Your children can never take the place of ur husband, if you follow this advice it is the surest way to lose ur hubby cos u will not be balancing things
DeleteReal man...keep kpanshing random women u hear ???? I hope you have a mobile version of your will in case of stories that touch the "ibi"...
DeleteThat was a very careless and tactless way of putting it. Of all the examples to cite, you had to go for the postnatal sex free days? Isn't a baby the pride and joy of both parents? If the arrival of your baby can't motivate you to sacrifice your sexual urges, then that's on you. Honey, your comments reveal how selfish you are. Point of correction, a REAL man doesn't cheat on his wife because that is one of the most difficult things a man can do. It goes against his nature, that's the only point I agree with you on. So it's only a real man who can't fight the natural urges and remain faithful to his wife and not hop on the bandwagon of men who cheat. It takes all the strength a man can muster and divine intervention to remain faithful, that's a real man. You think a man returning back to his wife makes everything ok? Really? When you break a good woman's heart and you turn her into a monster and your lives together may never be the same. It's like drinking from a broken glass held together with glue. From your comments, it appears you are a serial cheat because you believe real men cheat. Renew your mind honey or own your lack of self control and stop trying to defend a vice.
DeleteTo all you ladies out there complaining about cheating husbands,its totally uncalled for.A real Man is not meant for only one woman.Men are always randy in nature,or have you ever seen a dick staying in one position as tohtoh?And moreover,the situation after a woman "s delivery somehow leads men to cheat elsewhere,or what do you expect a man to do ,when he has been advised by the doctor not to have sex with his wife for more than 40 days after delivery due to medical condition,and you will be seeing your wife nakedness everyday without touching?Abeg my dear ladies take it easy and face your priority now,which is your children.Once a woman give birth,the children psychologically turns to her husband in the absent of the her real husband.When the time comes,the man will realize his mistakes and come back to you fully.
ReplyDeleteYou are very correct, if u carry strange women while driving, then you are driving towards ur doom, i know of a man who has over 10 bangmates just by helping them along the way, and most would call him asking him to come carry them to his hide out for 1 rounds (i mean they begging for sex) when they know he is married kwa, and there is one that has been asking him to sleep in her house and she boldly said she would call d wife to ask the man sleep over..... I just pray when am married I dont become as stupid as this because polygamy ruined my old boy n i dont want to end up like him
ReplyDeleteThank you Fela to opening up.if it saves just one marriage,that's one family less that will put out dysfunctional kids who will inevitably get sucked into the cycle
ReplyDeletewish you and Tara all the best x
how i wish my dad is reading this story....choi
ReplyDeleteSend it to him via email, or open a new anonymous mail and send it to him
DeleteTrust me, your dad is already familiar with such stories from nolly anf all. But they never listen, do they?
DeleteSay NO 2 extra marital affair(s) POTABLE VIV
ReplyDeletei wish my husband can read this...
ReplyDeleteGod will restore him back to you and keep him out of harm's way IJN. Just trust in him and be prayerful
DeleteOpen a new anonymous email and send it to him,
DeleteSame thing that happened to my father in law. An educated man that wanted to eat from an illiterate, he ended up being a victim.The other lady's father was a well known juju man in Ibadan.My father in law abandoned his family,sold his house and moved in with d woman. He died a poor mans death.Infidelity hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteIssshhhhh.... They can never hear jare. If only the consequences of their actions would only befall them and leave their wives and children.
ReplyDeleteMen men men men dey will never learn. .
ReplyDeleteThanks Fela...I remember ur mom, very graceful woman...she taught me Quaternary Geology in my final year...Prof Durotoye of blessed memories...
ReplyDeleteMost men that wander do not end up well, except when supported by very strong and prayerful Wives.My experience is bitter but I
ReplyDeleteshall one day relate it on SDK for the benefit of
the younger ones.For the records, am just
over 46 years and have seen it all but for the
tender mercies of GOD and a prayerful and
patient Wife,one would have long gone 6feet
under.
Once you are confortable and maybe a young
professional you become the target of most side Chicks, who come with a lot of baggage
like Jazz, Spiritual problems which end up
ruining one's income stream.
These voluptous devil incarnates are everywhere and have virtually taken over the
banking industry.Has it ever occurred to you
all that there are more ladies in the banks than the males.
I do feel sad sometimes at comments on
SDK.They do not wish better for their fellow females and can do whatever to lie and
deliberately deceive others through
comments.I do pity some BVS who rely on these advise and become more frustrated.
I just cannot fathom how some ladies could
discourage fellow females who kept their virginity for their future husbands. Ladies
treasure your Pu**ies for your husband if you can.There is always a day of reckoning in the life of a man when he remembers the Wife of his youth.Let him meet you chaste and the fact that you gave him your virginity always strikes in his brain.
Men are prodigal by nature.A good woman replaces the man's mother at a point in life.
You couldn't have said it better ... Chisos !!!!! Naija banks na another story .. Thanks
DeleteProf . Mrs. Durotoye..she was an awesome woman. Pretty, flawless, caring and always smiling. I remember her so well with her high heels, she was a layreader at the University of Ife (All saints) chapel . May her soul rest in peace
ReplyDeleteStory for the Gods! They should have done an autopsy and checked he's medical history
ReplyDeletenow im in love with a married man.very married sef.whats a girl to do.im harmless.dont mean to hurt anyone.im just in love:-(
ReplyDeletenow im in love with a married man.very married sef.whats a girl to do.im harmless.dont mean to hurt anyone.im just in love:-(
ReplyDeleteThis story is so similar to that of my parents. They went everywhere together in matching jeans and tops. People called them the "It" couple. Only for them to relocate to Nigeria in the 80s and one strange, ugly, illiterate, woman comes between them.
ReplyDeleteMy educated Engineer dad packed out of the house and moved in with a beer parlor owner in Alagomeji. Most people couldn't fathom. I never believed what everyone was saying then about it being jazz things until my older sister went to see my dad at his office then to ask for money for our school fees and he didn't remember who she was. His first born child standing in front of him and this man could not recognize who she was. Na that day I fear women. My father's secretary eventually gave my sister a check and said she didn't know what was wrong with my dad. My sister said she will never forget that experience for as long as she lives. The "strange" woman eventually got into some shady business with some of her fellow illiterate beer suppliers and was shot dead. But not until after she had ruined my father and rendered him penniless.
Now when my hubby talks about us eventually relocating back to Nigeria to expose the children to our Nigerian culture I just look at him and smile. Not gonna happen.
very deep...lessons to be learnt. Couples should be very prayerful and should always communicate.Thanks
ReplyDeletethank you anon 30th sept 6:34am.noted.God bless you:-)...... harmless in love
ReplyDeletethank you anon 30th sept 6:34am.noted:-).......harmless in love.
ReplyDeletethank you anon 30th sept 6:34am.noted:-).......harmless in love.
ReplyDeletePLS LETS BE OBJECTIVE WHEN WETALK.
ReplyDeleteTRUE, THERE ARE WOMEN WHO USE JAZZ, BUT THERE ARE ALSO WOMEN WJO ARE AT RISK. YOUNG GIRLS, WHO HAVE BEEN LEAD ON BY MARRIED MEN, WHY ARE WE MAKINGTHE WOMEN LOOK BAD ALONE. WHAT OF MEN THAT SLEEO WITH YOUNG WOMEN FOR MONEY, MEN THAT CHEAT SERIALLY AND DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT ANY CHILD WHETHER LEGITIMATE OR NOT.
I'VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF THIS FELA GUY , FOR ONE HE TALKS TOO MUCH, THAT'S HIS JOB I KNOW, BUT HE IS TOO GARULOUS AND NOT COOL IN ANY WAY AT ALL. SOMETIMES A. PERSON COLD COME ACROSS AS WITH NO SELF RESPECT WHEN THEY ARE LIKE THAt.
FELA, pls that your age is difficult to believe. I thot u were forty like years ago. Any way, pls learn to chill out. DON'T USETHE OPPORTUNITY TO TRY TO BLOW THE EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND TRUMPET OF YOUR FAMILY. WE ALSO HAVE PEDIGREE.
Fela doesn't know the full story.
Delete