Hmmm what do you think about having a joint account with your spouse?because it doesn't work for you,doesn't mean it wont work for someone else.
The only problem i find with joint account is having to take permission from the other person or explaining what you need money for.....
Anyways read what having a joint account did to blog visitor Antoinette"
''Hello Stella, How are you doing. I am an ardent reader of your blog and I thought I should share this my experience in case there are other ladies in my situation. I was married to a naija guy from March 2011- April 2012 and no child while married!
Naija men! hnmmmm! They will always play a fast one on you! mine played a fast one on me on our joint account and i went berserk!!!! it happened that the two of us had filled and signed a joint bank account opening forms together in which the signature mandate says A & B together ( ie me and my spouse to sign before any cheque could be honoured for payment).
Innocently, I asked him to help submit the form to the bank for processing and final account opening...oh boi eeeee! Half way to the bank, he pulled over the car (i was not there though, but this was what I thought had happened lol), and included in the signature mandate card 'Or A' Alone! I didn't find out until after we had built up the accounts with funds and one day, I got an alert for a N1m withdrawal which I was not privy to and I wondered how that could have been possible without the second signature which was my signature!
I no talk.ooh! i kept my cool until he got home and I asked for what reason he needed the N1m for.... blah blah blah blah was all I was hearing...nothing he said added up for me.....Immediately I asked him to give me half of the money N500k and that I was not interested in the joint account "bush..i..t" anymore!
I never asked him how he was able to make the withdrawal alone ooh becos I had already figured out what could have happened!
He said he had a project which he wanted to invest in that N1m was all he needed to make up for the project,WTF why not discuss it with me??? And to think that I loved this guy so much for him to want to cheat me out of our money!!?? Ladies, in a relationship, love is always never enough to stick to a cheating who cheats on your financially!
Just take a walk when you see the hand writing on the WALL!
The next day, I dressed up like an "agbero" (a RifRaF) lol), I went to see the bank Manager and showed her the photocopy of the original form before it was "doctored". As far as I know, I had equal right to the account as much as my spouse did! I requested that the account be put on hold to any further withdrawals, until further notice. meanwhile, I still maintained' my individual account secretly without his knowledge......
Two weeks later, hubby gave me N300k begging that the project go soon "mature" so that he will refund the money... I collect am put am for my personal account, in my mind I said "u must balance me my N200K" 'I am done with the joint account"......
Another 4 months went by, before he gave me another N200K and within this 4months, I was raining fire and brimstone on him!
"I never deserved it, i was so loyal to him, why would he treat me this way"
I never asked for profit sharing oh because he never gave me details of the project... Make him keep the profit, I cared less about that!!! My concern was for the joint account to be closed and the balance therein be shared equally,I no do again, na by force?
There and then at the bank , the account was closed and I opened another personal account with same bank and transferred my share of the money!
Case closed!
Marriage lasted for like a six more months after the incident, the guy abandoned his matrimonial house!
Fast forward June 2013, I met again and married my mixed race hussy (French- Briton) whom I had initially met in 2010 during a French course I attended in Paris!
We have a son now, he is six months old!
We both live here in naija but once in a while we stay in London with my Parents In-Law!
Antoinette"
Sharp babe
ReplyDeleteThis is d best way 2 go about joint accounts esp wid a shady spouse. Always having an individual account while keeping ur eyes wide open to monitor d activities going on wid d joint account coz these spouses ain't loyal financially mehn..
Delete*lips sealed and watching*
Joint ke?! Mba oh but I can be next of kin or ur beneficiary if u ve plenty money to leave not debts oh!!! Lol.. At poster, thank God u r not blinded by love cos u would ve bn the mugu..
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: My method for now manage ur money I manage mine. No joint account things. Everybody is happy. Apart from that wen I was getting married my dad me "no joint account" he insisted that is the root of some troubles. I am adhering strictly to it.
DeleteThe story doesn't add up jor. Unless he filled another form entirely, he can't just pull out the mandate card B. Cause on the form it's self, u filled both to sign and u both signed on it.
DeleteSo it's either he signed ur part and his to withdraw or he had filled another form allowing only him to sign.
Plus which bank allow u close the account without the other part present? @ I closed the account their and then.
Just my thought...
@six months later he abandoned d marriage,smh!dat means to embezzle' her money(like a civil servant) was all he was in it for,as the money stopped flowing,he had to move to the next available rich lady to prey on!may God deliver us from lazy,golddigging bastard men in this naija.#shame on them!
DeleteI never knew the term "Financial cheat" existed!!!!!! As my 4 yearz marriage has been all about grave financial cheats from my man all the time. ALOT HAS APUND!!!
DeleteThe most recent;
*** Just last month my husband's younger sister sent him a text on how her and her husband were in dear need of a car cos shes been so stressed juggling buses. Lolzzz. This is a lady whose husband has no stable job, dey struggle to feed and my man pays their house rent, child' fees and a whole what not I cant begin to mention here???? When I saw d request and d attendant alert of d money sent to her by my man I cudnt even get angry but i started lafffffffffffffinggggg!!! wetin person no go see for this naija
Ts not as if we v it all to think we stay in a rented apartment and this man dolls out 70% of his income on relatives ishs constantly still baffles me (maga toh bad, and its usually on frivolities)
AM So worried cos this Man hasnt achieved anytin for himself and i am 100% certain he has been brainwashed. the future with him at dis pace is so scary.
Hmm stories that touch
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in joint account I rather we should be open about finances. So far so good
Join what? I don't want that
DeleteKeep urs I keep mine
Why on earth will u do that with Naija man?
Huh me I no fit!
Sorry!
The only reason why couples should have a joint account are for things like the children;s school fees family vacation and other miscellaneous while you have your own separate accounts Finito .
DeleteMr Lyca
Erm, your first marriage wasn't dissolved?
ReplyDeleteGlad you were smart about it.
My parents inlaw have had a joint account for their 43 years of marriage but I don't think I can do a joint account with my spouse. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that I don't think I want to explain all I need cash for. We could have a joint account opened for the kids schooling but not all my money will go there.....does he need to know each time I help my family or friends?
While keeping a joint account both of u shld have ur independent personal accounts.....d joint account shld be a fraction of ur earnings u both stash away for future use...#MyOpinion
DeleteBitchplis is right.
DeleteMy spouse and I have a joint account. We both also have individual accounts which we run anyhow we like without the interference of the other.
I don't know about others but I think it fosters trust between couples especially if it is well run and it also helps build discipline in a home. And yes we are both Nigerians.
I had a joint account with hubby. Went together to the bank to open. I filled the forms and when it came to the mandate, I filled both to sign. Fast forward some weeks. Hubby tried to withdraw and was told madam had to sign. He said we have to change the mandate in case one person is not around for a reason. I agreed. Can't remember the last time I deposited in that account. End of story!
DeleteLmaooooo @ jsbunny wise woman
DeleteWao is all I can exclaim. In fact u tried during the waiting period before he gave u the balance sef. I am sure in his mind, just as you, he would be like am so done with this bitch. Ahah smart woman u are. Joint account ish is not advisable at any rate. While it works well for couples who are financially prudent, it breaks apart others who are not financially disciplined. While the majority of others get into fights about who banks the more money and should be entitled to more dividends. Overall I'll say it's best u don't do it at all.
ReplyDeleteWell said. Nothing else to add.
DeleteHmm...
We learn everyday here
Smart lady.
ReplyDeleteSmart is d word. Me I no dey for joint acct o. I be always been next of kin or beneficiary end of story. Ur money is our money, my money is my money o. I no dey o.
DeleteMe I can't agree to a joint account. I can only agree, if hubby will put in 90%, while I put in 10%, Lol. Anytin less, count me out. I no de that 50-50 BS.
ReplyDeleteTrue! Cept he puts 90 n I put 10 evn as at dat im still nt sure.
DeleteLol funny story ... Na God save u... I can't do joint account with any man oh cept if he's putting 80% and i dey put 20% lol... The signature ting must be equal too...
ReplyDeleteHave been missing the posts on this blog since Monday! Being pretty busy with work and school! Stella I hail oh.. and faithful BVs... Make I sleep... Love ya'll..
Well, I honestly think joint account should be for serious projects like building,school fees e.t.c By so doing,”you won't av to spend them unwisely but towards the execution of ”your main project.
ReplyDeleteI no fit even talk my story here.. hmm if u see wetin hubby take my eye see as per joint account, una go pity me (hubby chop the whole money without even sorry).... I no fit cry..... Shak!
ReplyDeleteeeeeyaaaa,,,sorry dear,,,share d story plz
DeleteMa dear it can b so annoyg n u feel lik bringin down d roof . Remember something lik dat ma hubby do me I rant n rant n I take stlye collect ma mny back.i no try am o.
DeleteThe account I had b4 meeting my hussy I was running as my biz account. Once we married he kept pushing me to change the account to a joint one. Mmmh I laffed to myself. Man with no job? I emptied the account nd did as he said. To me the account did not exist. The marriage lasted 2 years nd the man did not add 1 kobo to the account. Women shld stop thinking men are like their fathers in their days. Today's men are lazy nd dishonest. They know women are desperate nd so they try stunts.
DeleteYou were smart. I don't see the point of a joint account. Couples take the saying " two become one" literally. I believe you should maintain your individual personalities as much as its feasible because that was the aim of the initial attraction. Trust should have been in place before the union such that both parties are well informed about their financial activities. I have been married for 4yrs and we have never thought of joint accounts. We know what we both do with our earnings and if there's a joint bill to pay, we bring our shares. Well this is my opinion. Different strokes for different folks
ReplyDeleteA bank cannot open account with alterations on the mandate card. Same as a bank cannot close account on the request of only one signatory. This story is fishy menn.
DeleteI sense he dint even want a marriage, he wanted m0ney. And I blv he can xplain y u cudnt av children 4 him. Smart gal
ReplyDeleteInteresting tale. I will be smart about this joint account ish... Will save only 3/4 of my earnings.
ReplyDeleteAbeg abeg, love no dey shak me reach money matter. My money is my money while his money is our money, case closed.
ReplyDeleteSame thing I tell hubby,my money is mine,your money is ours.....lol
DeleteIf couples must have joint account it must be for main projects.
Nice comment @swerve, me likey!
DeleteGbam
DeleteThat's what I tell my hubby and that's how he operates, he doesn't even acknowledge my money. I'm begging him to open joint account sef cuz I know it will only be him putting money der while I spend it. But he said no hahahaha I still dey beg sha hehe
Kai,correct chic! Can you imagine?right under your nose naim ya SPOUSE wan play you so...I don't believe in joint accounts,keep your money,I keep mine mbok!
ReplyDeleteCorrect...no time
ReplyDeleteJoint account is not necessary, but can be used if both parties wanna save up for a project or vacation.
ReplyDeleteLol nice move. Joint account? Mba o. Pikin sef get acct, all man fr in sef. Loooool
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with opening a joint account. What u just need to indicate in the signature mandate is either A or B. So if A withdraw without a geniue reasons, B also have the right to do d same. No cheating. Make u no allow trust blind u when u are opening d account
ReplyDeleteU are even sharp and smart.
ReplyDeletepeople like me will pray and pray and beg and beg but for where,akukasigo d ego na mgbuka
Haahaaahaa!!! My sister you just sounded like my mom. Some men are terrible I tell you. Joint account is strictly for a particular project ooo, I no fit shout!!
DeleteEvery woman should be financially independent.
ReplyDeleteMadam ure not just smart but strong. Other women in your shoes for just accept apology and some useless explanation and then allow d man continue to make withdrawals to fund his project in d name of love. thanks for sharing this piece, you just made me sooo happy! #teamnobullshit.
ReplyDeletePoster, shebi you have moved on?
ReplyDeletedat is d more reason she shared her past experience soo dumb like u will learn
DeleteDon't you ever use such word under my comment. .Don't you ever!!!
DeleteAll Sdker female bv d0 is talk ab0ut all f0rms 0f cheating perpetuated by "their" men. I w0nder aw s0me 0f u are married.
ReplyDeleteNot all, those that do just might be facing real Shit they can't deal with. Xcuse 'em biko
DeleteOrisirisi....poster chop kiss mehn,Ure smart,love dat,as far as am concernd i won't subject myslf all in d name of love into openin a joint acount wit anybody.....its not worth all d burhaha dat comes out of it
ReplyDeleteOrisirisi....poster chop kiss mehn,Ure smart,love dat,as far as am concernd i won't subject myslf all in d name of love into openin a joint acount wit anybody.....its not worth all d burhaha dat comes out of it
ReplyDeleteNigerian men are greedy gold diggers. Never make the mistake of having a joint account with them. The era where they could be trusted has gone, It went with my grandparents! Joint account? If he isn't white I'm not trusting my money with him. Black is synonymous to corrupt.
ReplyDeleteIhekire Tony
ReplyDeletePoster it seems you like money alot. I guess it was one of the reasons why ur first marriage crashed. Please don't let it crash this one again.
Don't be the first person I will insult on this blog. Somebody is talking about her hard earned money, you're saying this! So she should let the thief go with her money because he's her 'husband' abi? You never hear no brother for business? Even husband inclusive. Thieving black men!
DeleteBiko shut your suicide attempting mouth up. What if he was in the marriage just to con her, and suck her dry of all her money? Didn't you see where she wrote that d dude walked away? @ least she didn't attempt suicide when the marriage failed. Note the word MARRIAGE not RELATIONSHIP #rolls eyes# Anyway I'm not down with this joint account thing. Except it is for children's school fees or a particular project we are saving for. Poster you be sharp babe. But true true u like money sha....hehehehehe.
DeleteThis boy daft gan sha smh. Small boy
DeleteOde ni bobo yi sha
DeleteYou are very stupid. See ur mouth like "you like money a lot".
DeleteStupid stingy slimy egoistic bastard.
You're a mad man. She shouldn't like money, she should come and like your broke ass.
Filth!
Somebody should help me give that boy a standing ovation super mutant doro E.-SLAP
DeleteBia Tony shut it up already, zip it! likes defends likes. @la Effizy... U didn't have to bring his suicide past into this, that's just ugly. Call him names, tell him wateva but leave out that sensitive part of his life, if u've ever lost a friend or a loved one to suicide, u will never puke wat u just did, I don't see the need. Pls fight nicely
DeleteLa effizy!
DeleteIf u eva in ur pathetic life, open ur filthy mouth, and use tony's situation to pick on him again.
I can assure u, u wld av to ans to me.
Na cheap internet connection dey cos mk riffraff dey comment, if not na wich kind play, dog dey play wit elephant.
Ppl com ere to tlk abt, dia tuff lives, and som1 wu finds it difficult to pass an elective in sch, saves it up somwhere only to use it against dat person in future. Ezi-ofia!
Bia pink shell shut your stupid mouth there. This your charlatan ex boyfriend tony is a nuisance and should be treated as such
DeleteDesprado like you trying to get into his good books again by causing la effizy out. Mind you poverty stricken business and let suicide tony fight his battles. Certain life situations make one wiser and calmer tony just became more annoying and a pain on this blog. If he can dish criticisms he should be able to handle it too.
Pinkshell you are a fool. A big stupid one at that? What situation? A girl broke his heart and he tried to commit suicide? And made d whole of SDK blog to be worried? He comes back here to bad mouth another BV? Oh, I forgot. You have also contemplated suicide over a heartbreak. Idiot. Btw, my internet connection isn't cheap. No sweetheart. I spend my hard earned money to buy MB, unlike you who runs around looking for freebies. Stay on your lane, and let me stay on mine. I didn't call you out, so don't look for my trouble. Where some people craze end, na where other people own dey start.
Delete@ La effizy, u are a very stupid gal, I know say u no fit ear word, alakori ni e, o de ma pada te ni. Eva sins networks made simcards as cheap as N100, my dear nonentities like u, dey carry shoulder, like certified fool. Buhahaha @ look for free credit. @ EEE she can't be ashamed, dey troway her placenta for dog to chop. She is an educated idiot. Oloshi oloribu. 2mrw wld be a new day, plz I wld enjoy dis if u bring dis on a new post. Oniranu! Imagine d mumu saying she ddnt call me out, aunty ode, u work finish, den use ur mony to advertise ur stupidity. I wonder wat wld apen if u ddnt no the guy was sucidal, u no go find anoda abuse, to pass ur info. Olofo!
DeleteSee the rachet babe, also showing up as an anony! #Tufiakwa. Nna ehn na touts full dis blog oo. Abeggi! I don't tell u attack me 2mrw wen u see my comment on a new post, cos I won't reply dis, since tomoro is d stat of a new day.
DeleteIt's obvious all of you on this thread believe that blogs exist in a make believe world.
DeleteWise woman.
ReplyDeleteYou were lucky, bobo for don suck you like orange throway..
ReplyDeleteLol why won't he abandone his matrimonial home? Him see say you smart pass am! Lol I love smart girls jare!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm . Thank God you were fast o. I run a joint account with my hubby. We've had it for about 3yrs and everything is cool . He gets the email alerts and I get the sms. We boyh have other seperate accounts . The joint account is basically for saving money and we only go there when theres a need to and with both signatures of course. Plus the bulk of the money there is his . Money matters are usually tricky sobi think couples need to mature , trust and understand themselves before opening a joint account
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your home, I love your comment.
DeleteClap for yourself!
ReplyDeleteNo b only joint account
ReplyDelete@jayem black is not synonymous to corruption, a cheat is a cheat whether black, white, red or green! and some naija guys are completely trustworthy financially, believe me, like my hubby the only problem ,with him is that he doesn't give out money. #One Love#
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't give out money? A stingy man is not good for any woman if you want to live a healthy life.
DeleteIn my opinion black is synonymous to corrupt, from my own experience. Anyone can choose to not agree.
I don't believe in joint accounts anyway. From your story, I won't say you were wise, I will say you didn't dig the guy so well. You are one of those old girl who are desperate to get married because of age and decide to take just anybody that comes . Judging from the way your pursued the money, no be love join you and the guy and you no be small girl. And I think at this stage in your life, na only white man fit collect you because Nigerian men won't have time for you unless u have something to offer. Sorry but that's the way I analyzed you story
ReplyDeleteOde ni e o. Who sent u to analyse d marriage for her? Was there anywhere u read where she mentioned being desperate? U berra park well and STFU @ anony 8:34!!
DeleteGbam! U don said it all mehn! (Make no english teacher correct wetin i write, bcos that's exactly how i wanted it. Capish!)
DeleteExactly. She didn't love him. I don't support joint account but this poster acted like he stole from her. No trust in that marriage
DeleteThank your star he was able to refund the money...to me sha he's still a good and you too like money
ReplyDeleteIf she likes money sebi it's her money. Na wa o, some women on this blog are so stupid chai. May God help u olori
DeleteOlori, sebi it's her money? Abeg make she love am. Its non of ur business. Some women are so stupid. He would have still walked away from that marriage, it would have just taken time for him to finish spending d money and left her empty. Sebi if she comes here crying that her husband spent all her money it's u guys that will still insult her. Shior!!
DeleteJoint account ke? With this nigerian boys and men in this life and age? No o
ReplyDeleteAny lady with a joint account should be depositing half of her salary in it and keep the rest in her individual account.
Love turns sour and most times when it does, we ladies are always at the receiving end. Biko be smart in love o.....
Tnk God,u where smart,if not ur case 4 b sorry,9ja guys,especially benin guys dey r mstly gold diggers,lazy ass guys dt love living big but wt wnt to work.
ReplyDeleteIt's bini guys, bini relates with the language and people and Benin is the place.
DeleteAnd you're right, bini guys are gold diggers but not all of them.
Money is one of the major reasons why marriages collapse. Opening a joint account with your spouse only works when there is transparency in the marriage. Poster your ex even allowed you have alerts sent to your phone, my husband filled all the forms and told me to sign, without even allowing me go through the details. In that case, how am I supposed to feel comfortable saving money in that account. For the single ones, if you decide to have a joint account, please ensure you go to the bank together to open the account. Poster, your ex did wrong by taking advantage of the trust and loyalty you had. I will commend him for refunding half of the money to you. Poster, I don't know if it's only this issue that led to the end of the marriage but please be careful of the value you place on money in your marriage, nothing is worth the peace and joy of a happy home.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I think she worships money. Too bad! (Strictly my opinion)
DeleteAnd poster judging all niaja men cos she met a "mixed race"...How is French and Briton mixed race???...This girl sounds like a village champion
DeleteSpot on.
Delete@vashti #seconded
DeleteMbanu! Joint Account kini? I don't belong to that School of Thought. @ Poster, nice move. I nor dey for that kain love kille me I die. Gmrn Y'all. *E-hugs*
ReplyDeleteJoint acct ke? I can't try dat with mine,d whole cash go vanish then story and begging go join..when it comes to money I'm very careful
ReplyDeleteWe have a joint account
ReplyDeleteDont know d current status now
Buh i remember going crazy on dat account
LMAO
And d Général always reminding me d Acc was not à shopping account
The Last time i went on my shopping spree was d Last time i heard of dat account!
Ana emenu...
Ihekire tony wat do u mean by that, he betrayyed her trust. Which one is she likes money? N pls dnt ever say rubbish abt her second marriage, dats insensitive, there's power in spoken words, dats how u people wil sit behind ur gadgets typing crap abt pples marriage, wishing someones home to pack, if u don't have a good tin to say, dnt comment, shd we stop sending stella mail? Cos I sent my wedding anniversarY post n some of u practically set d houae of firee wit ur rant, u guys can never b pleased. Never,
ReplyDeleteChiamaka Ilozulu, is that u? How's Papa Jide and Jide? Tell them say I dey greet oo.
DeleteAs long as you did not trust him, he did did trust you too!You see, you even kept a secret account, so two of you are masters in fraud. shit happens.
ReplyDeleteIhekire tony wat do u mean by that, he betrayyed her trust. Which one is she likes money? N pls dnt ever say rubbish abt her second marriage, dats insensitive, there's power in spoken words, dats how u people wil sit behind ur gadgets typing crap abt pples marriage, wishing someones home to pack, if u don't have a good tin to say, dnt comment, shd we stop sending stella mail? Cos I sent my wedding anniversarY post n some of u practically set d houae of firee wit ur rant, u guys can never b pleased. Never,
ReplyDeleteI have several joint accounts with my oga. My ten kobo nor dey dia. He funds it and I respect that and I do not spend without letting him know. So far, it has worked perfectly! Didi
ReplyDeleteihekire tony if u have a sister married to a money launderer advice her to sit n watch her sweat toiled with by another man.I operate a joint acc with hubby but there must be wisdom applied.yes I love and trust with my heart but my head is packed with wisdom. If i see what is financially going wrong shud i be forming i don't like money?Dude its her money nne if ur new husband tries same BS u know what to do no time oo on top my money again odiegwu
ReplyDeleteVashti, I thought you were exiled from the land?
ReplyDeleteYou don return?
Don't come and shake ur fine ass in front of my king (ur ex) oo
PS: Never ever let hubby do things that involve both of you alone!
Haddassah am flourishing in a new land. Greet my ex for me, hope his not missing me.
DeleteJoint account with a spouse? Count me out!
ReplyDeleteMoney they say is the root of all evil. Good a thing you were smart enough odawise that guy would have ruined you to granites. Anyways this new marriage shine ur eyes. Oyinbo man sef get sense o.
ReplyDeleteJoint kini I no do ooooooo all malam with em kettle babe u sharp no b small I love ur spirit ..... for d guy to return half of d money dat show he was somehow nice....
ReplyDeleteOf course i can do joint account jor. wetin de there?
ReplyDeleteOnly hubby will be putting money while we both withdraw whenever we like.
hehehehe.
Supported!!! @BlogLord Lmao
DeleteI agree with vashti this poster is too money conscious anyway good for you
ReplyDeleteU are smart nd also strong u were not blindfolded by love. Joint account ko joint account ni.
ReplyDeleteI believe she was cheating on her husband with her new hubby, and was prolly doing other rich dudes for money..
DeleteI live in europe, and i know over 60 girls who were married to whites and it didnt work..It not about race, a bad person is a bad person. Smh..and most of these girls who bring their stories r actually the bad once..There are two sides of every story. Getting married to a white doesnt guarantee anything..If it doesnt work with nigerians...try Ghana, togo, asia..etc lol..My point is, the men aint always at fault like most posters make it seem...Allow your men to tell their side of story too
DeleteThank you all for your sweet comments. Ladies should always learn not to be blinded by love. As much as I loved my husband I could not allow him to cheat me out of what we owned together. It was not as if I loved the money more than my marriage after all it was our money both!I could not have waited to finish the money in our account all in the guise of marriage and love?
ReplyDeleteWe were saving to buy a property of our own and we were both doing well in our individual career pursuit. I am an Accountant while he is an Engineer with an Oil servicing Company. I did'nt really bother about the withdrawal my annoyance was that he disrespected me by not informing me of it.. he never mentioned what project he needed the money and that was what made me take the action that I took, and what if he was saving the money else where with a lady or in his personal bank account? We filled and signed the forms together, but he decided to alter the signature mandate before he submitted the form. I received alerts via sms while he received via his email.
Yes, obviously I have moved on and very happy! my husband and I respect each other...that's one of the things that mattered.... love is never enough! After two months of abandoning. I contacted his family, and nobody seemed to know where he was. A week after I visited his family, I was served with a divorce paper by him and demanded i left his house with immediate effect before he comes back!I left the house with "immediate" effect just as he requested and went to stay with my cousin. I granted his divorce wish and we ended our marriage.
I was traumatized, i asked myself so many questions as in where would I have gone wrong? was it because I asked questions about our money? I could not put a finger on any concrete reason! I needed some time off work, so I applied for my annual leave and traveled to UK. There, I ran into my now husband whom I had meet before years back......
Thank you Stella for sharing this. God bless you!
Those of you attacking her, read again!
DeleteBabe, you acted rightly and you owe no no1 any explanation on your actions. You are a strong and smart woman and like your person. Enjoy your new marriage, be the BEST YOU, don't be intimated, still have that sharp mind that detect when things aren't good, wish you more love and haPpiness in life.
DeleteNwunye Okeke
Thank God he gave u a divorce which is the best thing happening to you now. A hubby who respects you and a happy home at last, no need to judge you my dear, in marriage you meet different type of men. The good bad and ugly. Thank God you have moved on. Let him move to his next money doling prey and infest and divorce again. You have moved on thats the most important thing.
DeleteA bank cannot open an account with alterations on the mandate card. Same as a bank cannot close an account on request of just one of the signatories. Haba for this story!
DeleteExactly what i would have done. Women let the men get away with so much. I love and respect my husband but i dont let him off on things. The line has to be drawn somewhere and somehow.
DeleteYou acted well! Very good! You remind me of myself... I do not joke with anything finance! I have a joint account with my husband currently and either of us can sign, I made sure of this. I also have my personal account which I maintain both in nigeria and the US. Another big issue I have with my husband is usage of funds. This man made me leave my extremely comfortable life in nigeria to come to the US after promising that he will take care of me until I'm able to get my papers and work. Now story don change.. He's now telling me stupid stories about how he has so many bills to pay and that he cannot afford to give me monthly stipends. I'm disappointed in myself for making the choice to leave Nigeria at this crucial time of mylife (I'm not up to 27, I could have been building an awesome career) that I would have been doing so well only to come here and settle for whatever. I've never lacked in my life, so this is a new trend for me. Don't get me wrong... I have my money but there are certain expectations you have of a man who calls himself ur husband , one of them being that he will take care of you and give you funds for basic upkeep ( I'm not even asking for too much)... The car I drive currently, I bought it.. Some men would have bought the car for their wife...This wasn't the case for me. we have had numerous quarrels based on this financial issue and he even hid the joint account card. I'm laughing at his stupidity because I don't need the card to gain access to the account, I can easily access the funds via online banking or when ever I go to Nigeria , which I have decided that I will do because I can't trust him again, I will simply do as you did, take half and leave half for him. He doesn't know who he is joking with. My advise to Women is be wise! Only you alone can really and truly make yourself happy. Be your boss and let your instinct guide you. I wish you well in your new marriage
DeleteNa wa for this post. This is a man u claim to love and you are acting like he is a thief. U r so selfish and a tad irrational with deep distrust for your then hubby even tho u claimed to love him. This issue was not enough for all the drama u gave it. Just say u wanted out of the marriage n used that as an excuse.
ReplyDeleteYou are stupid, did u read the story? Was the man not the one who left? Secondly why would he fraudulently take money meant for both of them, is that not theft, so that makes him a thief , I would fight the man just like she did, his actions were not acceptable
DeleteWe were at the bank together to close the account. off course, One party could not have been able to close the account. We agreed to close the account after I insisted.The account was closed and because the balance in the account was not what we could withdraw across the counter, I opened a new personal account with the bank to credit my share of the money. Fortunately my then husband had an existing account with same bank so his own share was credited to him.
ReplyDeleteSDKiers, you guys rock! I have learnt so much from stories that are published on this blog.... I must also add that my getting pregnant and having my baby was from a suggestion by a blog visitor's story published on this blog! It worked..... and I just clocked 41yrs, so there is hope for ladies in their 40's as regards having their baby!
Merci a tous!!!!
Abeg please which post.. Lol
DeleteSome of us are still trying to get pregnant... Thanks in advance
what do you mean she is money conscious? abeg make I hear!
ReplyDeletepark all your money give your husband naa.
Sorry guys but i have to say this, if you are married to a full blooded Nigerian don't open a joint account with them, i say so because i personally know women who did and they have story worst than this to tell. The number one problem is most of them will spend your money on their girl friends DONT DO IT.
ReplyDeleteThe way people marry and unmarry these days only to now claim to have found solution to their marital problems in another marriage is shocking.
ReplyDeleteDo you even know what adultery is? Marriage should not be taken lightly like people are these days - quite frankly this marriage should not have dissolved and it's not a triumph you've gone on to marry someone else.
You really don't know what's happening out there. These Niggas ain't loyal. 85% of guys are looking for a cash cow. 10% are gay and looking for a cash cow.
DeleteI hope now she's posted same story again you imbeciles can read slowly this time around carefully letting each word sink into ur thick skulls so you can understand the story better . Numbskulls .
ReplyDeleteAll you women sha like to spend man's money.Na only man dey squander money??? Women are more reckless spenders than men. Some women spend their children's school fees too. A joint account is goo eg for vacation, buying houses and generaly just keeping money aside for rainy days. Husband can put 70% while the wife pays 30%. god forbid your husband has a stroke and cnt sign his cheque book, how do u as the wife pay his medical bills???? incases like this, u withdraw from the Joint Account. Y ou both would still maintain tour individual accounts bt the Joint cnt be touched for everday spending.
ReplyDeleteI feel there are a lot of sad married women dat don't earn anayting on this blog.
Please I advocate that all women should earn sometin no matter how little for themselves and stop scavenging over their husband's wealth.
Yes I am a married woman, married for 13years and we maintain a joint account for Special needs
Not necessarily. I have his online banking details and know where the token is kept. That's more trusting to me than joint account sef
DeleteNigerian guys nawa oooo. Mine was dat i gave him form 2 help me submit and he cancelled my phone number on d alert form and put his. I wasn't getting alert 4 long until wen i went 2 complain, dat was wen i found out what he did . *Praz*
ReplyDeleteYou do well. Story still missing but we'll manage dis. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteFlo ,my darling pls read the point where she said the mandate was A and B can sign and when he went off he fixed in or A alone .There's space on a mandate card to accomodate such my dear.
ReplyDeletethis money thing is a very big issue. Ive being thinking of writing SDK so she can put this topic up for discussion. So I got my prayers answered by this post. Thank you for your comments most of them insightful. Ive learnt quite a lot and I will put it to use. Thank you SDK again God used you to answer some of my questions.
ReplyDeleteI love and trust my husband but if I hear joint account?
ReplyDeleteAbeg oh, I am not a full time house wife, I was already working when I met my hubby, infact, I had some solid savings fixed so I should take the money and join with his? Fa fa fa fa foul!
We are 2 different people, with different up bringing , ideas , beliefs, there will always be clash of interest in financial matters so it is not advisable coz what is priority to him may not be priority to me.
We will support each other when there is a need for it.
# team separate accounts#
Good point. People forget that your spouse is really a stranger. Different upbringing and life experiences will inform different decisions.
DeleteThis joint account doesnt favor everybody, as for me i see nothing bad in it if only u have a trust worthy partner.
ReplyDeleteI save ALL my MONEY together with my bf/fiance, its been going on for so many years, since we started dating, and he hasnt given me any reason to doubt him.
Issorait.
DeleteWhen your money disappears don't send a mail to SDK to publish oh. Bf not even husband. You need a touch from God for your eyes to open.
DeleteWith your boyfriend or fiance you say? Are you freaking kidding me???
DeleteLwkmd this one is sleeping ontop okada
DeleteYou have to be kidding right? Well whatever you get you had it coming.
DeleteLMAO!!!!! @ Sleeping on okada!!!!
DeleteGood luck
DeleteSome comments here reek of stupidly!! How does she love money? Mstchewww
ReplyDeleteHer husband fraudulently changed the mandate as opposed to what they both agreed and in my opinion that is the issue here, the mandate was supposed to be both to sign so how was he able to get money out of the joint account without her signature when she was alive?
People like that will forge your signature , fraudulent spouse, if he needed funds from the account he should have discussed with her and they will work it out instead of altering account forms to his advantage.
Any man or woman that does that has already sowed the seed of distrust in the union.
anonymous 11:40 you are a stupid goat.....so the marriage should not have been dissolved abi, she was served divorce papers but you wanted her to refuse and continue praying and fasting for a man who absconded and wanted out...you are an idiot and a hell fire candidate......all u hypocrites who think they know the bible more than God....go back and read the story again before u come here and show your stupidity and ignorance.....opkonu
ReplyDeleteOP: you tried but...
ReplyDelete1. The content of your story per bank account opening/closing is pure lies. Your story is fabricated.
2. I didn't see anything marriage in your write up. All I saw was more like business business money money.
3. I guess you want SDKers to discuss joint account. But next time make sure you come up with a believable story.
Any banker in the house can attest to the fact that you have no idea what you are talking about--you made this shit up.
@whirlwind,I think you are getting something wrong.nobody is saying u should 'unfix' ur money and put it in a joint acct.both of u can agree on a certain percentage of ur income to put into d joint acct for special family needs.d only area I fault d poster is that she was 'secretly' operating a separate acct,cos IMO,she shd hv told him.joint acct is not a do or die affair.my spouse and I operate joint and separate accts.I get mail alerts and he gets sms alerts and d joint acct is for fees,vacation and special family needs.no biggie.
ReplyDeleteSpicy.
You don't know her life so you can't fault her on her decision to operate a separate account. I went through hell in my first marriage where money and dishonesty were an issue. He met me rich. What he did not borrow he stole. When there was nothing left he ported. Of course I will be extra cautious in the future.
DeletePoster you did no wrong in my eyes ,what matters in marriage is respect. I will do the same thing you did over and over .
ReplyDeleteHB SAID. . . Honestly, I don't understand this "My money" thing in marriages. Are you operating a marriage or a "business venture"? How about "the two shall become one. . ."? The point is that LOVE cares and shares and calls nothing his own. If you tell me you've "fallen in love", please check the holy books to know what you've fallen into;
ReplyDelete1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Guy, girl, if he/she does not have these qualities, then you've fallen into the gutter not love. . . . .HB
This type of love is not limited to marriage. It is the love we must have for all.
Delete@Anon 11:59 - If the man has stroke and can't sign? That's why a wife should be next of kin, so the account officer would know what to do. That's not an excuse.
ReplyDeleteMe I don't want to know what my husband does with his money. Cos d truth is men can be very funny in d way they spend that we women won't understand, and same goes for us women.
For instance, a man can blow 2500k on drinks on Friday night (something a woman like me can never understand) while I can spend 250k on funmi hair or a beauty treatment range (something most men don't even wanna hear). We all have where it pinches as men and women. We all can't deny you have not splurged on one thing or the other at some point in our lives. Me I don't care what else my hubby does with his money, as long as he does the basics: Pay fees, give me pocket money when I need, take very good care of me and my kids, buy property for the family and all. the rest, he can do as he like. Afterall, if you are a successful woman, you won't tell him all you do with money. Does Otedola's wife know all he does with his money? NO!! The only problem is when he is not doing what he is supposed to do.
If there is a project you have to save for, fine. But a continuous joint account? Nne, I advice against because you just wanna leave room for more arguments.
Like now, I pay fees for one girl in my fellowship and I didn't tell my mum. Cos I know she might tell me I am carrying unnecessary load, which would really be out of love. But me I like the small girl, she's from a relatively poor home and she always helps me carry my bible in church. I felt she deserved more than 'sweet money' so in my little way I offered to assist. I didn't tell my folks or siblings, cos I don't want unnecessary interrogation so I do it silently and in peace. Cos they may not see it as necessary.
You can let your spouse know what you earn, but both of you shouldn't hinge on the other's money. If anyone wants to be generous or choose to do a project and needs assistance from the other... fine.
However, I always advice men to work hard enough so that their hands stay on top. Trust me, its better that way.
Lol @ how you said he "blows" 2500 but you "spend" 250,000.
DeletePoster the way you write shows u are also a troublesome lady. That ur marriage was dead before arrival if you say you love that guy you lied. I just can't imagine the way you run your mouth in real life, I can't deal with ur type pls. Ur partner was wrong but u need to work a lot with ur angry tone.#myopinion#
ReplyDeleteSpicy tee, mba, I no do oh, seriously, even if it's taking a little chunk out of my salary every month to put in the joint account, I am not interested, it works for some people and your points are well noted but I won't attempt it.
ReplyDelete*I meant 250k for drinks, not 2500k ooh! Before the men here will chew me raw.... (The fear of SDK yabbis is the beginning of wisdom-lol)
ReplyDeleteChikito aka final say, where do I send your kiss to? I will assist when the need arises , as simple as that, Kappish.
ReplyDeleteThis Pink shell can be so hilarious, bloody student that is still struggling to be somebody in life will be insulting people that can feed her,buy her, own her, better her life and employ her.
ReplyDeleteYou can call someone out and be polite bout it.
Not everybody here is your mate.
Go and learn manners, you are warning her so what will you do to her? You will beat her up or cease her internet,ode .
La effizy that was a bit harsh on Tony though,it was.
@mildred,
ReplyDeleteSo because i write to say some questions i had about joint account have being answered cos of the posts and comments i have read makes me dumb? i confess i don't know everything. Am learning, in every step there is something to learn, since i just got married i needed clarity and since you are a first class and you know everything, i congratulate you. Leave those of us who need to learn. EVERYBODY KNOWS SOMETHING, NOBODY KNOWS EVERYTHING. GOd bless.
AdaJesus, nne that's the way forward o! lol
ReplyDeletebitchplis that fraction sef nor de. oga carry your responsibility, I will support from a distance. lol.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to this poster was unfortunate and I sympatize with her.
ReplyDeleteWord of advice to posters saying they have a joint account with their hubbies but never contribute a penny, you guys should please respect yourselves and close such accounts because it defeats the point of having a joint account. Plus, that is why your partners will feel the need to control you and how you spend his money (Lets be honest, it is his money!!!). After closing those accounts, feel free to ask for money from him to shop or do whatever (I'm sure he'll gladly oblige). Makes no sense and please having a joint account isn't by force and certainly isn't for everyone. If you know you can't do it, don't get into it and not contribute (it's like being in a one-sided relationship). Please stop, it isn't cute.
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ReplyDelete