I've been married for d past 7yrs without a child and my in-laws are not helping matters,my own mother is not even encouraging at all,she uses every smallest credit on her phone to remind me that my childlessness is not from her lungs as my younger sisters each has 3kids in their husbands house.
My husband supportive is also not ,he uses every small misunderstanding to tell me that it's my promiscuousness when I was single that is the cause of our predicament,..Indeed,i was somehow promiscuous as a single girl then,I knew where I was coming from and the responsibilities that befell me as a first child in a family of 9,and so I never dated a Poor man,i always went for the highest bidder.
After I was disvirgined then by my now husband,I told him point blank that I wanted to go to university and also train my four younger siblings before I can start doing all this love things with him,he was mad at first but when he saw I was serious,and he had no money then to compete with people he was seeing me with,he traveled out of the country,only to resurface 8yrs later to marry me.
I succeeded in training myself and 3 of my younger ones in the university while our last girl married early to a rich guy who helped me in taking care of her own education....Now fast forward to 7yrs after marriage my husband thinks i am the cause of our childlessness,i used to think so too cos I got pregnant once and had it aborted until 2yrs ago when my husband finally agreed to go to hospital with me,and the doctor told him dat his sperm is infertile but it can be corrected.
He started taking drugs and then changed his attitude towards me and started pampering me,..i thought I had defeated the devil only for the doctor to call me 5months ago to drop the bombshell that not only was my husband's sperm not improving to 75% that is normal,but that his hormones are very high,Making it a miracle for me to have a child,I didn't believe him so I told my husband that the doctor requested for his sperm for final confirmation that his ok now,he gave me,so I went to another gynecologist who told me point blank that his sperm cannot get anybody pregnant!
To say I was devastated will be an understatement,i was doomed,I can't even tell my husband cos he will start suspecting my every move,he will restrict me from going out and might even sack all his boys,i know what he can do......my sisters advised I leave my marriage while my best friend said it's high time I quit my holy attitude and get a boyfriend who will get me pregnant as I look 25 even though am 35,But it's a NO NO for me as I love my husband,and will never think of cheating on him not to talk of actually committing adultery,NEVER,.......And now my husband's twin brother came back from abroad and is staying with us pending when he finish building his house..
An idea struck to me to go and table my problems to him,and beg him to donate his sperm for me to use and get pregnant but not by committing adultery,but for him to masturbate and give me his sperm to insert when am ovulating as I type THIS now am fertile and my major ovulation day is next tommorrow and am scared to approach him,I know he will accept cos he holds me in high esteem,but I feel it's not right and may backfire,even though am not planing to tell anybody apart from him and me...please advice me.
I know my husband will think I cheated on him if I tell the doctor to get me a donor,but he won't suspect anything if the baby turns out to be his replica cos him and his brother are identical and even have the same blood type. ...please I need mature minds cos am so so confused,i don't want to lose my husband neither do I want to stay without a child...please help a sister''.
*OMG..this is really tough.i dont know what to say...did you say insert the sperm?..what if your husband checks later and is told he is sterile?wont there be more problems?
I think you should sit your hubby down and tell him the truth and tell him what you plan to do..tell him the truth IF YOU LOVE HIM AS YOU CLAIM.
inserting his twin brothers sperm into your vayjayjay is cheating on him..so to say!
U go fear fear! It's still cheating on him because it's another man's sperm and it's deceptive to do that behind him... the best is to sit ur husband down and tell him everything... U are such a good woman to still want to stick with him after all d insults from left to right thinking u were the problem, if na me I go insult my own ehn!!! those his family members for hear am!!
ReplyDeleteYea u're rite @ mama ibeji
DeleteSit him down nd talk to him dear, u guys shld rub minds together and agree on d best.inserting or any oda is still cheat since he doesn't know abt it and it might hunt u tommorrow
DeleteKai dis is indeed tough. Wot can I say? Do wot stella advised. It's beta u tell your hubby, let him be in d know. U'r rily a good woman. Since u said u luv him, tell him so dat u guys will reason a way out 2geda and do dat fast cos time is ticking fast. If u don't tell him and go ahead wit your plan, it'l back-fire later. Don't spoil your good nature wit a bad advise from pipo. Believe me, your hubby will undastand. Do not take his brother's sperm cos no matter how u xplain to your hubby dat u didn't have sex wit him, he'l neva beliv u. Pls take my advise. Hugs
DeleteThis ur predicament na wao. Anyways, since u're not ready to leave the man (though i'm not sure he'd do d same for you), i suggest u sit him down and lay everything bare before
Deletehim.
Let him know what u're thinking and both of you can now approach his twin with the idea.
Just pray and hope this arrangement u're proposing doesn't turn out to be a tangled
web in future. My 2 cents.
Click my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
Dz is a crios issue oo
DeletePls visit my shoe blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
This life sef!
DeleteDearest, pls don't use his brother's sperm without his consent. It must backfire! Speak to God b4 telling ur hubby wt d doc told u.
But mk sure u are in control of dat communication. U guys must reach a compromise cos if d fault ws 4m u, nobody will rmbr 2consult u b4 he impregnates anor babe.
I wish u all d best n God's wisdom in ds matter
U beta dont try it.......your hubby mite even b aware and is tryna plan with d doc to fake u and wen u get preggy and truth cums up wat will u do?....just call him and tell him and u both find d way 4ward
DeleteSo crazy... Stella this is crazy. Fitness Blog, Weight Loss Tips And Beauty
Delete
Delete*****Sips pure water*******
When I got to the part about the appearance of a twin,and you being fertile as you type,I laughed and laughed. Nor vex o,I "comman" wonder if na "season film". Anyway,don't do anything without passing through your husband. His twin is a perfect option.Do not also leave your marriage except you want to,and not because people are throwing options your way.Pls oh pls,tell your mother inlaw what's up.Take the test results to her! The energy she spends on breathing down your neck should be redirected at praying for her son's healing. Turn the tables on her head!
DeleteOh please, there is only one option here. You have to tell him, let him go test himself if he doesn't believe u. Then u two should sit down and decide whats best. Mrs O.
DeleteMakes two of us. Our gynae thinks we should have IVF (ART) but where would we find one million naira?
DeleteCrazy!!!!! ........ Fitness Blog, Weight Loss Tips And Beauty
DeleteI agree with Anty Stella.
DeleteTalk tto God first, then talk to your husband.
The hearts of kings are in God's hands.
He would soften your husband's heart n together you can find a solution.
Wishing u God's grace.
My dear poster, to be candid n truthful to you, follow SDK's advice, that is d best way out of ds situation. Don't hide anything from ur husband because of d future, he might get to know d truth in future n hate u for life, cos there is nothing hidden under d sun. Take Stella's advice, she spoke exactly my mind, good luck gurl.
DeleteI just broke up with my bf. I thought it was him already. How do you cope wv breaking up after your birthday? We even had a party yday, slept on the same bed,,life is so unpredictable. Am not that bad, I am not perfect either. But I know I'll get a good man who knows my worth, when the time is right! Staying off relationships for now, maybe instead of grooming a relationship, I should groom myself. I DESERVE THE BEST. Hope its normal to cry
DeleteI just broke up with my bf. I thought it was him already. How do you cope wv breaking up after your birthday? We even had a party yday, slept on the same bed,,life is so unpredictable. Am not that bad, I am not perfect either. But I know I'll get a good man who knows my worth, when the time is right! Staying off relationships for now, maybe instead of grooming a relationship, I should groom myself. I DESERVE THE BEST. Hope its normal to cry
DeleteI just broke up with my bf. I thought it was him already. How do you cope wv breaking up after your birthday? We even had a party yday, slept on the same bed,,life is so unpredictable. Am not that bad, I am not perfect either. But I know I'll get a good man who knows my worth, when the time is right! Staying off relationships for now, maybe instead of grooming a relationship, I should groom myself. I DESERVE THE BEST. Hope its normal to cry
DeleteWide eyed same thing I thought too
DeleteI can't believe you all think this story is real, oh please sounds like a home video lol!
DeleteThis story is a lie! It's so false, it makes the word false sound true. No clinic will have the wife bring in the husband's sample and then when the issue is as serious as this, not tell the person in question??? You tell the wife? Every good clinic will call in the man. I don't believe this story one bit! Unless they went to a random "lab" and not a proper hospital. Either that or she just wants to shag her brother-in-law! Leave this story she's telling us. Women...... We can lie for Africa.
DeletePlz sit ur husband down ans tell him, he's a human and will support ur inserting ur inlaws sperm In u.... Just sit him down...#alinko
DeleteHuh what's this na? Don't be deceived Madame poster, no two people carry the same DNA, perhaps blood type like u said. But that's not enough to make him assume that his twin bro's child is his. Gobe will still burst in future. So, I'll advice u tell him oh ha and pull the damn cow by its horn. It's already a dicy situation so eh, what the heck. Godspeed
Delete@anon 11:06 my dear its ok to cry. Don't worry u will meet a man who will treat u like a princess. I was in ur shoes some weeks back and I almost cried my eyes out, but am fine now. U will be fine.
DeleteFiction ! This story lacks substance . Una go just wake one morning write AfMag season film come send to Stella's blog. Abeg, sit your lying ass somewhere.
DeleteMrs. BitchBiko.
You should tell him, the both of you should go through this together and come up with a solution. Don't keep it from him for that will eventually cause more damage when he finds out.
ReplyDeleteBest Oracle
Dear poster.. Please tell your husband... You are not the only one in the marriage my dear...more so it's a problem stemming from him...
DeleteOh Jehova,some women are carrying heavy load o. I'll be back. Let me consult my Thesaurus
ReplyDeletePoster I urge u not 2 be careless with d truth esp in issues like dz coz no matter how long it takes, d truth will suffice someday and dt might be d end. Your husband started pampering U whn d DR's told him dt his sperm was infertile, meaning he's willing 2 work with u through this, so what now makes u think that ur hubby will start suspecting ur every move like a psycho?
DeletePls effectively communicate dz 2 him asap and see how u guys can work through dz together.
Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom and applying honesty in dz issue is the very wisdom u need.
Lord help u as u get tru dz phase in ur life.
*lips sealed and watching*
My sista!!! No be small Load o.
DeleteSome stories are just unbelievable! !!
Talk to ur husband! Its no more ur stress! He is the problem! He either find a solution or u should move one! U don dey old oooh! Say u look 20's no be say ur bone be 20 or ur fetility ooh! According to my mama! Wake up and leave love make u get pikin for life oooooh!
DeleteHuh? I don't talk finish
Wish u luck all the way!
Speak to your husband and get him to be on the same page with you on the plan with his brother.
ReplyDeleteDo whatever it takes, beg him, cajole him, even blackmail him.
It may be hard for him, but I doubt he'd refuse. I don't see any other viable option.
Do that and save yourself eternal misery cos if u do it in secret,and he gets to know in future, (which he will).
You'll be VERY sorry!!!
Poster,why are you hiding things from your man?..whatever decisions you want to take,make sure you carry him along..
ReplyDeletePoster pls seat ur hubby down and ve a heart to heart talk with him. Cos it will definitely back fire later if he finds out o. What u plan to do is best option but pls tell ur hubby first. Good luck
DeleteSimple.......
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Yu have really passed alot but if yu cant handle the situation nw it might be a burden for yu tomorrow.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Talk wif ur hubby..dats why he is ur husband
DeleteEwoooo!
ReplyDeleteAm begining to tink d stories brot to dis blog are all fabricated oo.
U want to ask ur inlaw to donate his sperm, not money, not cloth, but sperm. Asi gba kpa!
How u wan tk talk am sef.
Nna ehn, after God, fear woman!
I always think most are fabricated by some mischievous loonies but again, things are really happening.
DeleteJust sit your man down and tell him.
You don watch The Contract abi?
Azi gba kwa? Sounds like my town lang.pink re u my sis? lol
DeleteAll. Fabricated. She's d first in a family of 9 and suddenly she has 4 siblings.
DeleteMay God bless u. To be sincere I don't believe this story at all. Stela pls always try and talk to all this pple sending stories on phone just to sure of all their stories pls. Haba some pple will just sit down and cook up some shits and be giving us here. Abeg madam poster with the way u sounded like an intelligent educated person, and i believe with the way u sounded u know what's up. How u get money to train ur younger ones u dint tell us, so I understand that u know what's up. But pls why should u be asking us for advice pls? U read this blog all the time yet u don't learn from most posts we talk about here, lots of them are even about married pple. So u fund out ur husband is the problem why u have been childless all this while, and u did not discuss it with him? No family member to talk to him? No pastor no church member no friends to talk to him? And not u are telling us u want to talk to his twin brother to get his spam? It's either u just like to sleep with his twin brother? Or u need his spam for something else? Or maybe this post is fake. Gbam
DeleteDid u read her story or u Just want to comment? Why would she ask 4 cloths or money wen its sperm she nids and it's her hubby's twin brother w/c makes it a lot easier. Pls get busy if u have nothing to say...
Delete#Luchi Ezumba
pinky be like say you dey find trouble. which one be fabricated.
DeletePinkshell I tire for dis woman o.....if u dont tell ur hus it will def backfire and u will get kicked out for sure. Dat ur hus wey u nor wan offend go show u e true color. U better tell him d truth and stand by him and take every decision with him. It will turn out well by God's grace.
DeleteTrue, some stories are just somehow..btw, where's iyawo General?
DeleteMy dear, do not judge people's story by your own limited experience...
DeleteIn my line of work, I have heard weirder stories...people r going thru unimaginable, unbelievable things u wouldn't believe...
I used to be shocked...but now, I'm used to!!! like my hubby says, 'there are 6billion people in the world, do not say it cannot be true'
Anon 8;16
DeletePlz be very careful! Dia is so much space down dia, wia u can make ur comment, avail ur sef dis opportunity.
If this story is true, this poster's rltnshp wit her bro inlaw is questionable, doe it mite nt be sexual, mayb a blackmail or smthg cos this her confidence still dey baffle me, for her to be sure the guy wld nt tell his twin.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteyou will only add more salt to injury if u toll this line.
Communication no matter what is key.
Talk to your husband, visit a Gynecologist together, no matter how head strong he is, he will finally come thru and you both will arrive at a solution together.
If he can turn around to pamper you when he found out the problem is from him when he was calling you promiscuous, he will stay around for a solution.
Be positive
Whatever you do don't ask or take his brothers sperm.It will backfire and you will definitely loose. You should not have gone to the hospital with your
ReplyDeletehusband 's sperm alone knowing fully well that your inability to have children is his fault. Talk to your man. Hear him out. Both of you can decide on what is best for your family. Some couple do get help from anonymous sperm donor. Wish you luck.
I think you should sit your husband down and tell him the truth because if he find out later he won't be very happy with you can both find solution to the problem
ReplyDeleteInsert ke???? What if the twin brother has HIV????????
DeletePoster,so sorry about your predicament! As tempting as it is,I beg of you,don't tow that path! Tell your husband what the doctors said so BOTH of you can work out a solution! Trust me,should you go through with this now,there is every tendency you would want to AGAIN and AGAIN!!! Your brother-in-law may even turn around and start blackmailing you...Dear,the hearts of men are desperately wicked.May God direct you...It's well!
ReplyDeleteTell your husband the truth. Both of you can then look for a solution. Rose
ReplyDeleteHeavy
ReplyDeleteI just broke up with my bf. I thought it was him already. How do you cope wv breaking up after your birthday? We even had a party yday, slept on the same bed,,life is so unpredictable. Am not that bad, I am not perfect either. But I know I'll get a good man who knows my worth, when the time is right! Staying off relationships for now, maybe instead of grooming a relationship, I should groom myself. I DESERVE THE BEST. Hope its normal to cry?
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a child. You better go and face ur studies.
DeleteDear poster I feel ur pain. 2 b childless it's a huge burden. Bt pls tell ur husband d truth. As 4 ur plans ill advice u tell ur doc so ur doc can suggest it 2 him. Cos i feel if it comes from u n ur hubby is d ego filled type u will only succeed in ruinin d luv Btw d twin. Besides if u tink ur hubby can sack every mail around n restrict u trust me he can also chase his own broda out of d house. My opinion tho.
ReplyDeleteTough one.
ReplyDeleteWomen are soft sha, we love with our all, a man that was blaming but suddenly turned loving when he realized he is the one at fault.
ReplyDeleteDONT try and approach his twin pls, you would have only succeeded in humiliating your husband. The fact that he's your hubby's twin doesn't mean they can't quarrel tomorrow. Just forget about that idea unless your Oga approves.
My advice to you is to tell your husband the truth or suggest that he goes for another checkup, there the dr will break the news though I feel he(your husband) already know and he's hiding it from you with the help of your dr. Then both of you should either adopt or go for artificial insemination using an UNKNOWN donor's Sperm.
Dear BV, please get your hubby in the picture. Tomorrow is far but just few hours away.
ReplyDeleteDEW..
Pls tell him so tomorrow it won't backfire on u,cos even his so Called bro might spill d beans,n who knows he might become fertile later n u'd be shown d door. You and ur husband shd go tru it together
ReplyDeleteWhy was everybody shouting wow,o my God,abomination,kiniko kiniko on dt 12 yrs pregnant girl. wasnt d “impregnantor" grooming her for marriage? Stella ur bv s r bunch of two sides pple.
ReplyDeleteGrooming a 12yrs old for marriage by impregnating her? Is dat how ur dad married ur mom? U are an idiot..move to yaba left..Ewu...Bloody paedophile.
DeleteWhy do most of you make life so complicated? Ok, the kind of person i am, this is what i will do. I will sit my hobby down and have a serious discussion with him, tell him how your childlessness is making you feel , ask if he won't mind his brother donating his sperm ( don't you ever sleep with his brother o ) watch his reaction, if he says no and you are bent on having your own baby then divorce is the best option. If you go get pregnant outside, it will only take long but the truth will come out. You two can also adopt? Hey madam, i hope your hobby is not hot tempered? If he is you may receive one VERY HOT SLAP O. Just make sure the door is open this way if he slap you, you can pick race and come back once he has calmed down. GOOD LUCK. The truth will always set you free.
ReplyDeleteWill ur husband's twin come again to give u sperm for second and third born... pls my dear u guys should go to the hospital together again and let him kw wassup rada dan deceiving him, at the end u will blame ur sef.
ReplyDeleteThe meaning of marriage is nt juz the jamborees dah goes with it,it also means two pple working things out ,sharing ur emotions,darkest secrets is one of it pls waheva u want to do involve ur husband..cus if one lies d person wud hv to lie forever to cover it up n one day it might still cum out, buh admiting d truth is neva a problm.
ReplyDeleteHia...
ReplyDeleteOoooo....
I no get energy to type buh just one thing to sum up wot i wanna say:
Never hide stuff from ur hubby!
Stella has given you d best advise...its an issue u should discuss with ur hubby..
ReplyDeleteKosi nkan ti oju ori ri, iwo ko ni akoko iwo na ko ni ikeyin, pe Oko re joko ke jo so, odami loju pe ema ri ona abayo.. Oluwa aran e lowo
ReplyDeleteBabe u shud be smarter now nothing is hidden forever pls speak to ur husband and bring him to speed on u peoples predicament suggest d sperm thing n let ur hubby do d talking not u. May God grant u ur heart desire n a miracle can still happen.
ReplyDeleteAunty poster, I'm in awe and amazed by you, why? Because you removed the cheating clause from your marriage and your life.Let me tell you patience is key, I would advice that if you two can afford it,seek medical assistance outside the country if you've not done so.Please forget your husband's twin brother, I beg! You will bring triple wahala unto yourself, because it would be difficult for him to watch his brother train his child if he can do so himself.
ReplyDeleteNow I suspect your husband wasn't taking his drugs judiciously or he was using the wrong type all together, if a doctor said it can be corrected Initially, then it can.The gynaecologist you went to said never because that's not his/her area of specialist.There are men's health specialist around, please go for a third and fourth and if possible a fifth consultation with different doctors.There are women without ovaries,who had been condemned and rubbished, only for them to get pregnant later, so why should you husband's case be different.
In all your write up, I did not hear you say God and prayers, trust me God is still the greatest provider of everything including children.Please tell your mother to back off your case in a polite manner after all she has a lot of grand kids already,she can wait for yours.
Madam in whatever you want to do, let cheating not be an option including your husband's brother! Sit down with your husband and talk this out, God has a way of exposing such things and you don't want to be on the receiving end of the spectrum.Keep calm, look to God and seek medical assistance.Divorce also should not be an option, it's forever with him so stay tight, it will be quite a long ride.The problem with us Africans is that people usually marry for kids, and marriage is solely meant for companionship and love, kids are very important but marriage in the first place should not be based on I want kids! Sometimes you will get tired and frustrated with your husband and the whole thing,but just hang in there and imagine if it was you that was the problem and how you'll want to be treated and treat your husband as such.Trust me when I say by God's grace, you and your husband will have kids, but it's going to be a journey so buckle up,wear your seat belt and endure the ride.God bless you, your husband and your union.It is well.By the way a little correction from your write up and most people make the mistake too,it's semen not sperm, sperm is a component of the semen,but you can't see it,semen is what we see.
Thanks Stella Dimoko korus for the first part of the advice; telling her husband the whole truth.
ReplyDeleteThe second part is this; madam, your case has a spiritual dimension. I am a medical doctor and a Christian. If you remember the Egyptian midwives that did not kill the Hebrew males; in Ex. 1:21 . . . the Lord rewarded them by "giving them families of their own". You may be looking at your husband as the one that has the problem but the truth is that the family has no kids which is the completeness of a family. Do not be surprised that if your husband sleeps with another lady (outside marriage of course) he will get a baby; if he doesn't already has one. I've seen cases like that. There are many things medical science can't explain. And you poster can, even if you "insert sperm" or has sex, lose the pregnancy via miscarriage or IUD. Moreover, if your husband finds out (i.e you fail to take Stella's advice), that may be the end of the marriage; still no family of your own.
There is no rationale for an abortion; God hates hands (note "hands" not the person, that means the work of the person's hands suffer etc; see prov. 6, Gen. 9:6) Questions you should ask yourself; have you had several inexplicable close shaves with death? Have you mourned for the baby/babies in that womb that you killed and confessed to the Lord? If you gave birth to that child and he died, will you have eaten that day, the next . . ? Have you really prayed and sought God in fasting for the welfare of your family? ?God's Grace. . . HB
This question is a no brainer.Tell your husband!!! Don't do anything behind his back or you will live to regret it.
ReplyDeleteAunty poster, I'm in awe and amazed by you, why? Because you removed the cheating clause from your marriage and your life.Let me tell you patience is key, I would advice that if you two can afford it,seek medical assistance outside the country if you've not done so.Please forget your husband's twin brother, I beg! You will bring triple wahala unto yourself, because it would be difficult for him to watch his brother train his child if he can do so himself.
ReplyDeleteNow I suspect your husband wasn't taking his drugs judiciously or he was using the wrong type all together, if a doctor said it can be corrected Initially, then it can.The gynaecologist you went to said never because that's not his/her area of specialist.There are men's health specialist around, please go for a third and fourth and if possible a fifth consultation with different doctors.There are women without ovaries,who had been condemned and rubbished, only for them to get pregnant later, so why should you husband's case be different.
In all your write up, I did not hear you say God and prayers, trust me God is still the greatest provider of everything including children.Please tell your mother to back off your case in a polite manner after all she has a lot of grand kids already,she can wait for yours.
Madam in whatever you want to do, let cheating not be an option including your husband's brother! Sit down with your husband and talk this out, God has a way of exposing such things and you don't want to be on the receiving end of the spectrum.Keep calm, look to God and seek medical assistance.Divorce also should not be an option, it's forever with him so stay tight, it will be quite a long ride.The problem with us Africans is that people usually marry for kids, and marriage is solely meant for companionship and love, kids are very important but marriage in the first place should not be based on I want kids! Sometimes you will get tired and frustrated with your husband and the whole thing,but just hang in there and imagine if it was you that was the problem and how you'll want to be treated and treat your husband as such.Trust me when I say by God's grace, you and your husband will have kids, but it's going to be a journey so buckle up,wear your seat belt and endure the ride.God bless you, your husband and your union.It is well.By the way a little correction from your write up and most people make the mistake too,it's semen not sperm, sperm is a component of the semen,but you can't see it,semen is what we see.
Poster ur suggestion is not that bad, but u should not go about it the way u planned. First, start with sweet words, like reminding him how much u love him et al, tell your hubby about trying IVF. Call him by his pet name, like darling, why don't we try this their IVF, if he says something like 'accepting' then u'll 'sluggishly' tell him, ''may be we should ask your brother to be the donor, since we know you can't do it on your own, by so doing, the baby will not be from a total stranger, what do u think?'' If he refuses, don't go collecting any sperm on your own, it's better u leave things the way they are than adding more. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDear sis,wil advise u visit d doc wt ur hubby,bring him 2 pic,dnt listen 2 ur fake friends n pls pray.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your post I don't know what else to suggest but that you should tell your hubby the truth.
ReplyDeleteThen plan with your hubby and drug your brother in law,
(find a way to do it, stage a kidnap or something). Collect his sperm and go and insert. Save some in a sperm bank if we have in Nig future use.
That way your BIL won't know what really happened. It will just be between you and your hubby.
You guys will carry the secret to your grave.
It's important that your BIL doesn't know to avoid wahala in future.
It's rape and stealing right?
Forgive me Lord but desperate situations require desperate measures.
In a more civilised country, you can beg your BIL to be a sperm donor but in this our Nig, he might agree and later turn around to claim the baby/ babies to spite your hubby. He may also spill to other people. You wouldn't want that right?
In fact ignore my advice.
Phew!!
Poster...
ReplyDeletetell ur husband and u both should approach his twin brother. Infact leave him to handle dat aii? But let him in on his exact medical prognosis
Poster, sit ur hubby down and tell him everything. Hiding it from him won't solve the issue. Wat if u approach the twin brother and he turns u down and also reports u to ur hubby? Don't u tink that will make matters worse? Tell ur hubby everything pls.
ReplyDeleteTake Stella's advice
ReplyDeleteFor your own peace of mind
Tell ur husband the truth
And depending on his reaction
Tell him about ur plan
Plan b, if really, inserting sperm into ur vjay can make you pregnant, then plan with some1 you trust to sleep with ur hubby's twin bro with condom, get the sperm from the condom(the lady will have to be d one to clean up after sex, and hands you the cd in d bathroom) then u insert. This most happen during ur ovulation period oh
This plan b is to avoid him coming back to claim the child in future.
Lord have mercy...this sounds so crazy but I don't how possible cos the guy might not allow the lady to clean up.
God help you
My 2cent
ReplyDeleteif you want his twin brother's sperm then truth be told you are in no position to tell his twin. Talk to your husband about it, if you so feel its wise. But honestly, I doubt it is.
The first woman that hid something from her husband at the Garden of Eden ended up selling the whole mankind to the devil. Tell your husband everything you know and let him know that you are with him and let him know the thoughts in your heart.
ReplyDeleteMa'am I commend u for being such a gud nd devoted wife. But my advice to u is to neva hide anything from ur hubby, u tell him ur plan nd see wat he has to say about it. If he agrees to d plan then ur lucky but if he doesn't, that's on him. U guys should also consider adopting! ! Wish u luck nd send us a feedback of wat happens pls.lol
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you. However I think you should talk to your husband about it first. do not Ever ask for sperm from his brother even if your husband agrees, it will haunt you later. Adoption is your only way out or you leave him. Men will always blame you even for their own problems and his ego will never allow him to love his brothers child becos he couldn't have one himself after you have the child .
ReplyDeleteChizoba umu nwanyi! If u aint married, wahala. If u r married, wahala. This life is full of wahala. Tired much, whew!
ReplyDeletePoster please take heart cos i quiet understand your plight,but i think you should sit your hubby down and talk to him you never can say he may come up with a better idea.
ReplyDeleteHuh!!
ReplyDelete1st u hve to tell ur husband, its his problem and he MUST be carried along in every decision concerning this
If he is an understandin man and love u his wife enough he should approve his brother to donate D sperm and not u doing the talking at all
Have it in mind too that @ 35 even though u claim u look 20s
Don't forget ur chances diminish each day u grow older to get pregnant easily,
Use ur tongue to count ur teeth,
And u should also talk to ur mother,
She deserve to know the truth
Its just that in african we take things to heart too much!
IVF one time hand in hand with ur husband but our pple with stories
Anyways, long and short of it is U have to talk this over with ur husband no matter how difficult it maybe sound!
I wish u luck all the way babes
*quite*
ReplyDeleteDear poster discuss whatever decision you have made with your husband. Why would you even hide the second doctors report ,discuss your idea with your husband. If he refuses .plan B .adopt .kalas.
ReplyDeleteYou should tell your husband what the doctor said and your husband might not like you using is brother sperm he might want to keep it btw yourself there are clinics that offer all this service,as your brother inlaw being screened pls tell ur hubby and go to a fertility clinic
ReplyDeletehow many times do u wznt to collect his brothers sperm to give urself a child?u can ask this once but other times nko?men r wonderufl people do u know they r twins n ur bro in laws mouth can leak the day ur talk doesnt favor him?nne face ur husband i am a christian but not an advocate of pray even when u see suffering koro koro without making moves to help urself,if hes the cause then he must work with u on it.pls sit hubby down n mend him like u never have.Stop accepting defeat if u do and believe God fornanmiracle,
ReplyDeleteIf you truly Love him as you claim, call him and tell him the situation of things...afterwards you can bring the idea of his twin being d donor...its better to be truthful and honest in your marriage.
ReplyDeleteDiscuss wit ur hubby
ReplyDeleteThe solution is in Gods hands and i have nothing to say. do whatever makes you happy but be rest assured No brother will agree to such an arrangement.
ReplyDeleteTell him the truth.he is sterile .why are you complicating issues. If he wants solution as per involving his twin.it should be his decision
ReplyDeletePls don't try it, it will definitely backfire. Think of the innocent child you will give birth to. Just tell your husband and find as solution to it. Like you said you love him, if u love someone, u don't hurt them in such way,. You have disappointed them for life. pls don't try it. I'm begging.
ReplyDeleteI won't advise you to go ahead with that plan you have on your mind. My own advice is for you to call your husband and have a heart to heart talk with him, tell him to go with you to a different hospital for another test run, and if this test run proves that he is sterile for real, then speak with him about allowing his twin brother to be a sperm donor for you to become pregnant, if he disagrees, talk about adoption, but please, never you think of cheating on your husband just to get pregnant. Trust me, he knows he is sterile, and if you tow that line(of sleeping with another man), it will backfire on you sooner or later.
ReplyDeleteThis 1 is strong O...well all I can say is don't try it.cus dis kin tin always find its way back 2 haunt. so I tink it is better u tell ur husband about it.dont involve any 3rd party 2 ur marital problems.lobatan. Dupe
ReplyDeleteFor me research is d key,il tell u specifically dat gone are d days wen sterile is a death sentence. It baffles me dat uptill dis moment dr's still tell people dat a man is sterile der is no hope.my dear,der ar supplements (fertlity drugs) dat can boost even dead sperm cells to a level dat dey can b harvested for IVF. Iv seen it happen.Most tins have a solution we jus nid to find dem.if u nid help in ur research,feel free to contact me,il give reference to d case in question.u dnt nid nobody's sperm,u'v bin patient for 7yrs,hav a little faith.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm poster, the truth is men don't like lies, when ones u do that and they know,there is nothing u will say they' ll blv, they will always cross check b/4 agreeing.
ReplyDeleteSo sit him down and talk to him, maybe u should not mention d hospital u did d other test. But rather cajole him to accept doing a test in another good hospital.
How do you know that his brother is not sterile? If they are identical twins and the infertility is genetic, his brother might also have the same problem. I think you should be open with your husband and get another sperm donor that you do not know.
ReplyDeleteD world is global nw.....i dnt think ur idea is a bad one.....buh i think u shld talk to ur hubby abt it....u mst b a very gud person to still want to stay wit im afta all wt u ve been tru dis pst years.....am sure if nt for anytin for d fact dah u didnt even divorce im afta finding out dah he is infertile he ld undastand u.....jst try nd talk tins tru wit im.....if he cnt cope wit his broda's sperm....u can try adoption....its nt a bad idea too.....nd u can also try using a strangers donor buh i ld rather u use his twin broda's own......jst talk to ur hubby abt it
ReplyDeleteAsk ur husband for u guys to seek a 2nd opinion with another doctor. This solves 2 problems, u confirm what d 1st doc said if true. Then u dont have to be the one to tell him he is infertile. 2. U seek out the option of IVF, as long asmhe has sperm IVF should be possible if u guys have d money. I am talking as a guy so u dont hurt his ego. If his sperm cant do IVF then u can suggest the brothers sperm to him. But take note its his decision. Good Luck
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing God cannot do. DO NOT get anyone's sperm not worth it . Tell your Husband focus on God and you will be amazed. Your so called best friend that adviced you do get a boyfriend stay away from her she's no good. There is always a reward for doing the right thing! The Lord is your strength and this too shall pass. You are blessed and you too shall carry your bundle of joy very soon . God loves you!!!
ReplyDeleteAsk ur husband for u guys to seek a 2nd opinion with another doctor. This solves 2 problems, u confirm what d 1st doc said if true. Then u dont have to be the one to tell him he is infertile. 2. U seek out the option of IVF, as long asmhe has sperm IVF should be possible if u guys have d money. I am talking as a guy so u dont hurt his ego. If his sperm cant do IVF then u can suggest the brothers sperm to him. But take note its his decision. Good Luck
ReplyDeleteHis twin holds u in high esteem n u still wanna stoop low to ask for "sperm", pls tell me you're kidding?! Back to the issue, you've been married for 7years n still haven't learnt that what transpires in your home should be btw u n your husband? As I read up there, you've told your sister bout his issue even without his knowledge cos u fear he'd not succumb, my dear, u have to learn to do things the right way. Tell your hubby what the gynae said, I'm sure you too 'd find a way out n with God's grace sth would happen. Learn to stop discussing ur issue with third parties.
ReplyDeleteLastly, I don't believe those Dr's n different shi they come up with, go for other confirmation tests but don't opt out yet. Be patient with him n forget that he has called u names, u are stronger than him n this is when he needs you to be by his side. For your mum, mothers are usually like that, tell her politely to channel her blames into prayers for u and ur man. It is well poster.
I think u shld tell ur husband he's sterile,let him know he's d cause of ur childlessness,u guys shld have a long talk and ways u think u guys can get pregnant.if he doesn't blieve u,u guys shld go 2 several hospitals and get tests done,u shldnt be taking decisions alone Dats y it's called a marriage.work it out together let him know u'll always be there for him
ReplyDeleteTalk to ur hubby abt the thing n ur plan..dnt hide anything..VIVICANDY
ReplyDeletePathetic story. Woman go through a lot indeed. You are a good woman for sticking with him after finding out his predicament considering the fact that even your hubby was not supportive. I will still advice you talk with your hubby, trust me he will definitely thank you because his the one who has the problem. Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteIs this kind of life and stress worth it?? Just to stay married to a sterile man??
ReplyDeleteIf it means so much to you to stay married to this man, then you MUST make all decision together - going forward! Any decision short of this will surely backfire.
Talk to your hubby please. If he is in doubt, let him go and do his own checks privately. You both should come up with an agreed solution to your problem. Please do not attempt to solve the mystery on your own. Goodluck
ReplyDeletePls carry ur hubby along in every thing u do,,let him be aware of every move to avoid had i known
ReplyDeleteGod bless ur heart poster. If u were de sterile one am sure ur hubby wouldn't hesitate to either take a second wife, impregnate another lady or even send u packing. I feel u should talk to ur hubby. Pls don't do anything behind his back cos he will surely find out sooner or later. God will see u guys thru this together.
ReplyDeleteTough one but please talk to him and let him try another gynecologist to confirm by himself. Talking helps though hard in this situation. If you can muster strength to ask the twin, use the strength to talk with your hubby and do pray to God for wisdom.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart sweetheart pls tell ur husband ooooo. It is backfire. Tell him n both come up with a solution. Later Na u dem go call prostitute o. So let him know. Woman of virtue it is well dear
ReplyDeletePlease don't do anything behind him without his consent. This wil later backfire nd u will be blame for everything. So please sit him down and find solution to it together.
ReplyDeleteTry and watch Scandal on E.TV and learn one or two things from a character called Killa and his wife.
May God grant you your heart desires.
Dear Poster, where lies Ur faith and trust in God. Please revisit a good hospital and prayerfully seek God's intervention. But never do any shady behind him.When U work 2geda, he might decide to request his brother's sperm. Nobody knows but never do so Ursef.It will certainly hunt U 4 life.Good luck.Nkmama
ReplyDeleteExactly poster pls take all the above advices given.have a heart to heart talk wth ur hubby,since the fault is from him am sure he wouldn't want to make a helluva noise out it but rather seek ur advvice on how to help him cover his tracks as per been impotent pls discuss the issue wth him
ReplyDeleteDon't carry out wat u hve in mind wthout his consent cos it might be very disastrous pls
Please my darling you've really tried but discuss dis with ur husband and don't ask ur husband twin brother for donor cos it will definitely backfire its better u and ur husband go for anonymous sperm donor. ... women dey suffer sha...... all in all try and blieve in miracle.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you keep his health condition from him? Why would the doctor not tell him about the result? He has the right to know. Do you want to wait till a girl from no where claim to be pregnant for him before you begin to talk just so you can expose the girl? As for your bro in law donating to you, pls don't even go there if you want to keep your home. May God give you both the strength to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, ur explanation of ur husband's problem is not exactly clear, from low sperm count to high hormone levels. U didn't mention which hormones are high, if the prolactin is very high he will definitely have low sperm count and what needs to be done is to take down prolactin so that testosterone can come up and improve sperm yield. Since he is not azospermia ( that is no sperm cells at all), it can be treated but not by taking drugs to build d sperm cells but rather work on the hormones. Ur case is not as bad as u think, but u have not gone to a gynaecologist that can help u. Anybody that access a man's fertility by semen fluid analysis is not just serious, bcos hormonal assay ( FSH, Prolactin, LH, Testosterone) gives a better idea of what happens there. Pls go to a fertility specialist. If the case is really so bad then consider IVF. Don't rub ur brother in law into it.
ReplyDeleteDon't use ur brother in law sperm pls. Its better to use an anony donor. Your inlaw might wake up in d future and try to claim d children as his.
ReplyDeleteTake him to same hospital you guys visited and get a gynaecologist in same hospital to run the sperm test again. It will be bad wen the fast way becomes a delayed lane. Bewise. Keep it between you two. Dat ur friend avoid her 4 now so u dnt get involve with her advise. But God help women, if it was d reverse heaven knows
ReplyDeleteExplore all ethical alternatives including IVF, get all the facts and approach your husband in a manner that would afford him to be objective in his reasoning, if possible get a doctor to be there. Speak to him, let him know the alternatives and facts. Get a donor sperm from fertility clinics. It's better that this issue is between you, your husband, and doctor. The person who donates the sperm must never know....and if possible, you and your husband should not know who the donor is (unless you are looking for a special kind of child and seek to know that the man who is donating his sperm has some special traits)
ReplyDeleteto him about it,and let him be aa part of the plan. It's a good plan,in the first place,you guys should have gone for an anonymous donor sperm before now,but it is better late than never. God help you in your quest.
ReplyDeleteDear poster;words like "you want to collect the sperm of his twin" without the consent of your hubby might be easy for you to say but remember,THE DEVIL ALWAYS HAS HIS WAY OF RUINING THINGS..personally;I think the best thing you should do is have a one on one discussion with your hubby soo as to get his "yes" in whatever you plan to do later..pls and pls don't do anything without his approval to avoid any negative action from any party which might spoil your marriage..I wish you the best!!
ReplyDeleteWhat 'if' u take his twin's sperm without hubby's knowledge and much later on- in future, he tried conceiving but to no avail.... What are u gon do? D@ one na anoda nollywood movie. I prefer anonymous donors. ve u tot of adoption? Whatever the case, plz don't breach d@ communication gap sweeddyyy...Marriage is a lifelong journey full of positive and negative moments. don't let this moment ruin the genuine love that u both share. Stay positive sweeddyy.
ReplyDeletePlease, visit my blog
zinnychukwuka.blogspot.com
Tell your husband the truth and tell him what you are thinking, i see nothing wrong with your plan to ask his twin to be a sperm donor but you have to get your husband's consent, infact let him be the one to ask his brother for the sperm. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteIf this story is real, better tell your husband the whole truth cos when this your plan will backfire, nothing fit save you. Okay, assuming you try for the first child, how will you do for the second one and maybe third? Abi you will claim its only one kid you want? Better tell the man oh cos kasala de front de await you.
ReplyDeleteJust spoke with mio amico now and he spoke my mind.
ReplyDeleteDear friend, I blame you for hiding the result from your husband 5 months ago, what were you thinking? (I pray your so-called friend will not become frenemy tomorrow, why didn't you stick the gun with just yourself even tho you weren't ready to tell hubby. Coz no matter what happens, your sisters and friend will always look at him with a sterile eye)
DO NOT tell your husband's twin, am telling you from a stand point.
Forget about this month's ovulation, let it go.
Call your hubby, tell him the whole truth from 5months ago and that you've waited this long praying and believing for a miracle while he continues his medication, tell him you don't believe the doctors report but God's and that you now want him to go for checkup.
DO NOT be the one to suggest his twin brother's sperm-donation idea o. Remember that Stella Damascus, RMD and Desmond Elliot film where it was even her hubby that suggested it?
Let Dio guide you and give you wisdom. I'll prefer anonymous donor coz if his twin marries tomorrow and has no child, hmmmmm. Even if he has and lives elsewhere whenever he sees 'your' child, hmmmm.
Bye
Madame poster, tell ur hubby the truth and that the 2nd test proved same negative results. Tell him u both should go to a different hospital if he likes. Do not do what u intend, might seem ok on ur head but it will come bck to haunt you. Have u tot what if ur broda in law told his broda. How will this sound coming frm some1 else. Gal use ur head biko
ReplyDeletePoster,tell your husband everything. Communication is key in all relationships. You should go through this together. I pray God gives you a breakthrough.
ReplyDeleteLadies I say this again, avoid men with watery sperm. So u spear us dis gist in the future.
ReplyDeletePoster pls consider adoption
My dear, even though ur husband sperm count is low it can still be used for IVF. Take him to the doctor and discuss with him. Don't use ur in law sperm.
ReplyDeletewhatever decision you want to take, make sure it is a collective one by ur hubby and u. do not make any smart move behind him, nothing is hidden under the sun for too long, one way or the other, he will find out and that will cause problems. keep believing in God. He is a Miracle working God. best wishes
ReplyDeleteFake post.
ReplyDeleteMy dear,truth is always the best cos if it backfires,he won't see things from your point of view,both of you should take decisions together
ReplyDeletePlease poster tell ur husband please, don't do this alone cause if it turn back against you. Your husband will think you are the cause of the whole problems
ReplyDeleteJust ask him to follow you to the hospital for another check or tell him the doctor needs his sperm.... finish! Then you guys take it from there. That way nothing backfires and he decides what to do.
ReplyDeleteStop carrying such a load alone, u are not alone in marriage. U didnt cause the sterility so why hide it from him? Who told u he cant handle it? Sit him down and talk to him or visit a gynaecologist together. Then discuss options together! You have no right to go behind his back to get his brother's sperm or a donor's!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy don't u n ur hubby adopt a baby and save yourselves all dis trouble?
ReplyDeletePoster, haba. Please your hubby has a right to know .tell him the outcome of ur visit to the gyn. Ure stronger wen ure together. That your decision will backfire o
ReplyDeleteThis sperm you took to the gyno how long did it last? Why would you go to a different doc without your hubby's knowledge? Is it that your hubby ejaculated at home and gave his sperm? I don't understand this your story.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think of this ooh...I know semen can't last long tho! During my IT days,patients were advised to ejaculate in the hospital..hmmm! Poster,could it be that the semen got to the hospital already dead?
DeleteBecause the story is a huge, fat lie. So many holes.
DeleteMrs. BitchBiko.
How about adoption, your husband should agree to that
ReplyDeleteGod bless you , that's one step to relieve your stress
DeleteCollecting his brothers sperm is the wost u will do
ReplyDeleteMadam plz tell ur husband, I believe he will see reasons with u, his brother donating his sperm is not really a problem since he's his blood and twin too but his ego might not allow him to tell him or else they are so close. No matter any decision u wish to choose, carry ur hubby along..
ReplyDeleteAm beginning to think people just write stories here to create excitement.....poster are u stupid? Are u daft? What is the big deal in telling your husband yo follow you to a new hospital? They must do new test with every doctor you see.....why must you bear the burden of his sterility? Do you think if it was you he will stay? Honestly you are just a foolish person if not I don't see your confusion here.....why must your husband not know he is the problem of the childlessness? When he is aware you sit his stupid mother down and tell her the truth.......let me see how she will not shut up after that and leave you alone.......when your husband becomes aware, both of you go do IVF and use a donor sperm.......if he does not want and want to wait for a miracle fine.......just remember that only a very Godly man will stay with u if the problem is from u.....the ball is in your court
ReplyDeleteTalk to ur hubby pls n should incase he agrees to use a sperm donor, my dear don't even try collecting from his family member or from anyone he knows, use anonymous donor Biko. God bless u.
ReplyDeleteOpen your mouth and speak to your husband. If he refuses then leave the marriage biko!!
ReplyDeleteIf you desperately need a child for yourself then flee. But before that make sure you inform his family about his defect. Do this by photocopying the doctors report and sending it to each member. Try and run the test in three diff hospitals to increase the validity of the result. Do this so that when the new wife gets pregnant from cheating (some women are cray) they would know who their grand child is.
Lastly, I don't know why you seem worried. My dear relax and pamper yourself before you overstress your fertile ovaries lol
So your husband did not ask you about the result of the test and you did not tell him? Abeg you are a daft and stupid woman.....some stories here be like say na just script una dey write make Tory sweet.....so your mother inlaw is giving you stress and you are killing your self for a problem that the owner is not even aware? Now you want his twin brother to give u sperm to inject........very stupid story Abeg....lol
ReplyDeleteMust you insult .. and I can bet you are a lady .we are our own worst enemy. Go out and hear people's story then you will learn how to apprieciate stories like that even if it's fabricated.
Deletei once watched a ghanaian movie,i have forgotten the name.the woman hid the info from her husband that he was sterile cos she feared he would harm himself and rather resorted to sleeping with the brother.in the end,the truth came out.sit him down and tell him the truth ok?then you can fins a solution together.OHEMA
ReplyDeleteSee a woman taking the burden for a husband's inadequacies. That is your typical example of a TYPICAL Nigerian marriage: the woman is groomed to bear the brunt of a husband's shortcomings otherwise, she is no wife material...My dear you need to sit this Mister of yours down and say: "Bobo, you are sterile. What's it going to be?" Allow him sort out the mess himself - IF you are ready to get a donor, have your MISTER go do the appealing/begging to thr potential donors. Haba! Does marriage have to cost you ALL these. Girl, you are allowing yourself take the beating for a situation that is NOT your fault. Haba!
ReplyDeleteBest reasoning, so far. Don't mind all these 'I must stay married by force' women, that is even if this super story is true sef.
DeleteI like how your brain is wired, Fantastic. You always endeavor to think outside the box with your comments. You're one of the few intelligent, open minded men I have come across.
Mrs. BitchBiko.
Abeg o! No try am o!
ReplyDeleteTalk with ur hubby,no go do wetin u plan o!!!
Madame talk to your husband already. This is a very serious issue. Lay all your options on the table. If he doesn't like the idea of you borrowing sperm from his brother then you guys should adopt. Always remember that miracles still exist.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I must commend you for your patience and tolerance thus far.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone has said, COMMUNICATION is key. At this stage, you can't do it alone. You need to carry your husband along.
Discuss the test results with him and this plan of yours. Also, his case isn't the first I've heard. He can still father a child.
Research more on boosting sperm count and back it up with prayers. His case MIGHT be spiritual; you never can tell.
Mark 9:23-All things are possible to him that believeth.
This is a fabricated story of a scene from the movies.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe it a bit.
Then pray half never comes to any one close to you .Then you will know what's up
DeleteWhat a woman delima.Not having ones children is hell,talk to your husband get is own opinion let the decision be taken by you both so that you won't be sorry. The lord will heal him because you love him and want to stand by him through the pain,he will remember his promise concerning your home.
ReplyDeleteIt's spelled 'dilemma'.
DeleteMrs. BitchBiko.
Oh my God. Poster pls go 4 an unknown donor but pls carry ur hubby along. God will see u through.
ReplyDeleteDear BV. This is from a fellow BV that is exactly in your shoes but am regretting standing by my husband today. Got married over 10yrs and went to docs for tests with hubby after about 2 years just to be told Oga is sterile. The doc categorically called me on one of our visits to tell me not to be deceived by any doctor because medically nothing could be done except God intervenes. I should have left years back or at least insisted on getting pregnant using a sperm donor when I was younger but I stupidly held on because my husband wouldn't support adoption or the use of a sperm donor even though he was diagnosed with azoospermia that is he is sterile. Now I am knocking on 40 and I've been told chances of pregnancy are slim because of fibroids and deviation in the womb due to the fibroids. The last time I went to hospital the doctors here said they can't continue with treatment due to low blood platelets which could cause severe bleeding when pregnant and they can't under any circumstances endanger my life. Would have gone private but no money again and can't afford. The fact is am just tired and it's so bad i wished sometimes I get RAPED just to be pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI can't even continue with all that has happened to me but it's just not worth it dear BV.
Why all these ranting dear BV so that you will wake up from your slumber and do what needs to be done fast.
Tell your hubby about the result and insist on using a donor sperm which am sure can be done in naija.
Remember you are getting older daily and the woman's body changes as you get older.
What after 15 years another woman brings a baby and your hubby accepts and you are just left on your own , old and childless? Think sis think!
I had to go anon on this one ,I've even considered suicide but couldn't go ahead with it. it's blog like sdk and the likes that's keeps me going.......
I'm so sorry dear. May you find the strength and peace that you seek. Amen. Women pass tru alot.
DeleteOh wow. Hugs and prayers sis, whoever you are.
DeleteChai..try and adopt nau..
DeleteAnd be prayerful my dear..I know someone that got pregnant at the age of 45 after battling fibroid for years..
Hold unto God..There is absolutely nothing he cannot do..
Jesus Christ !!!! Stories that strikes the heart
DeleteIt is well with you, sister. But, your naivety pisses me off. No man will stand through this with you if the tables were turned.
DeleteSorry, but you upset the deck yourself. You should have walked.
Mrs. ButchBiko.
You think your husband doesn't know he's sterile? For that doctor to tell you he's sperm is improving means they didn't want you to know watsup. Pls and pls don't do anything without your husband's knowledge. Sparkle.
ReplyDeleteThink I concur with Stella on this one; the poser should sit her husband down and have a heart-to-heart discussion with him. Secondly, of you're a Christian or Muslim, I think your pastor or Imam should be present or at least, back you up spiritually. This is a delicate situation, every physical and spiritual means has to be deployed but hiding the truth from your hubby is a no-no. Meanwhile, don't even broach the subject with your hubby's twin.
ReplyDeleteMadam, am so sorry about your situation. But you must let your hubby know everything. Whether he'll monitor ur movements or not, just ensure u clear ur conscience..let him know everything. Cos truth will out one day and u don't wanna add salt to injury if he finds out..
ReplyDeleteBest 4 u both to seek a solution togeda than u struggling alone. u'll struggle 4 d rest of ur life to let him not find out abt ur 'arrangement with his bro'. .. Just keep things simple n let him know straight up.
Its alright. All will be well..ok..
Never forget to always trust God, there's absolutely nothing he cannot do.
I went through your testimony post and seriously, I was blessed by it.I keep praying to God to do my own testimony for me before the end of the year. Life have nt been easy,family deserted me. I'm so worn out to type. I will send the story of my life someday
ReplyDeleteSo when you want to use your brother-in-law sperm if he gives it to you at all, won't you discuss it with your husband? Madam Abeg talk to your husband and I don't like the idea turkey basting if you know what I mean. Do it the right way. God bless you.
ReplyDeletePoster don't take his brother's semen! Thank God for medical miracles,alot of things are actually very possible now.Talk to your hubby,both of you might even ask his brother together (as a donor)if they have such a relationship. Am happy you are willing to stick with him,it shows you love him. God is able to do exceedingly,above all our expectations...who says that worthless semen can't do wonders?? It all depends on your faith! I wish you all the best. seek more medical opinions with your hubby.
ReplyDeleteTalk to ur hubby woman,u might be suprised he will agree without much restrain,
ReplyDeleteEvery1 has told you d very truth: tell ur man d truth and seek d solution with him. May God give you the courage and wisdom you need to come out of this situation. Nwunye Okeke
ReplyDeleteDo not go any further without carring your husband along. Discuss with him and let the solution be on mutual agreement. All the best. Olly.
ReplyDeleteGo for ivf abeg.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty simple to me. I dont know how people tip toe around their husband they claim they love so much.
ReplyDeleteMadam why not say the truth and both of you join your head together and forge a way out. There is power in number. A two fold cord is not easily broken. all the best.
Why do I have this strong feeling that the hubby knew he is sterile??? From the posters story, the doctor called her to tell her that her hubby's hormones is high and can bear children. What if it was the hubby that told the doctor to call the wife? Now I ask myself why would he do that? To reassure her, to calm her down and to make her believe he is ok and can bear children. #intuition# Please my dear poster do talk to your hubby before taking any action. God will see you through! Amen
ReplyDeletePoster please open up to your husband and you too will find a solution together. Don't do what will backfire tomorrow and would make you ever regret your decision made now...#mypiece
ReplyDeleteThe same situation for me too. My hubby used to bully me until we found out he has low sperm count. Did ivf it failed, got pregnant on my own but I miscarried. It's been difficult for me but I have been trusting God for a miracle. Chances of my hubby getting me pregnant are slim but possible. If it has happened before it still can again. Been married for three years now.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 9:03 pm please go to LUTH and ask for proff ajayi at the pre natal diagnostic center..he will do extensive test and help with treatment and other issues.........u are just clocking 40 so your matter na beans.......people older than that God has done it......if your husband is sterile and he is refusing adoption or sperm donor then u better find your level and leave the selfish man...u can't wait for him forever except you know he is trusting God completely and serious with God.....truest me if na u get problem he would have gone tey tey......sorry but he is selfish.....time is going so wake up, but it's not too late.....
ReplyDeleteWhy are you afraid that ur husband will turn 007 on u n monitor ur movement? U have nothing to hide, abi? Pls tell your husband and explore the option of a donor (if you go this route, save up cos naija men are kolo sometimes) or whatever might be available medically. You also need to pray together. I think I agree with confiding with your mother in-lw with the test result. Mothers have a special hold over their children. She can join you in prayers (hopefully she no be winch herself). But all in all if your husband doesn't agree or all else fails. Adopt!!!! Even our president went that route and I have heard of testimonies of God's blessing couples with their own babies after adoption. I pray that God have mercy on your family and grant you the fruit of the womb. It is well. Signed Unsolicited Advice.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sista who thinks its too late to have a child of her own due to age and medical complications. The Lord is with you and will comfort you. Have you tot about adoption also. Please do not risk your health and life just to have a child the Lord who heard Sarah, Anna and Rachel will hear you and you will rejoice in Jesus name. Pls consider keep the faith, God is still in the miracle and testimony business. I hope your husband is supportive. One luv. Signed Unsolicited Advice.
ReplyDeletePoster why do you want to course trouble for yourself, we better let him know your plans. Of he doesn't agree, den divorce him.
ReplyDeleteGod will see the poster thru, I don't why som people will jes say rubbish all in d name of comment. If u can't give advice it's not a most u comment, read and ignore the comment section like I do
ReplyDeleteSecrets have a way of slapping you in the face one day in the worst way. Your plan may sound perfect, and in truth, it sounds like the perfect solution, but things in this world have a way of unraveling when you least expect.
ReplyDeleteTell your husband the truth about his condition, and ask him if he will agree to his brother being a donor. It is better to be honest and lay things out in marriage. Sisters are carrying children for their infertile sister, even mothers are carrying babies for their infertile daughters, so I do not see any reason why your husband would not agree with your idea. Just make sure the brother is not a blabber mouth and he knows this is something he will have to keep to himself for the rest of his days.
Also, your mother is a frickin piece of work. After everything you have done for the advancement of your family, even using your body to help them get ahead, she would speak such crap. I wonder sometimes if people think before the speak.
If I tell the story if what my mother has done to me so far una go say na lie. To think that I single handedly carried the whole family on my salary. I now get insults cos I am not married yet
Delete@jaymore Check my profile,,,,the email is there..
ReplyDeleteStella,you won't believe what my ears heard dis morning,i decided to share dis on d comment line becos of some people thinking my life is a fabricated movie scene,some people's life are so blessed they don't know how lucky they are,....after reading 50comments last nit where almost everybody adviced I tell my hubby,...I did dat at about 10:15pm,u won't believe dis stella,my husband already knows,he said d doctor told him but dat he was still looking for a good avenue to tell me,...i was mad,can u imagine d excuse?how could he do that? I told him I wasn't going for d NBA conference which started yesterday in owerri,just becos I will be ovulating dis period,so as to carry out my initial plans,.....hai!....Anyway,am glad dis burden is off my chest,he said his brother being a donor can never be an option,that we should get an anonymous donor and am so so happy even though am still pretending to be angry with him,..I just want to suffer him small to know if I can get a gift out of dis after all my troubles,u know..i deserve it atlest........Thanks u so much stella and all my co SDK's. thank u guys.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, in my very sincere opinion, pls pls do not do what u are about to do with ur hubbys twinee cos u might regret later.
ReplyDeletepls dont get me wrong here, God knows am not trying to blow up things here but some of our so-called medical experts in this our naija are just a NO NO. a "NO NO" in the sense that, one might tell you "this" and another will tell you "that". pls do not narrow your answers at what the gynae told you there is nothing GOD cannot do; your hubby could be very fertile in essence, pls before you take that bold step, no matter how hard/difficult it might seem, pls consult hubby
please poster visit a fertility centre to be counseled on what you need to know about your decisions and sure you will also get some help there,come along with your spouse or alone first, there is a solution to your problem. cal-08074343523.
ReplyDeleteThis must be a script from nollywood,waiting for the part 2.
ReplyDeleteOkay madam, we thank The Lord for you.
ReplyDeleteDon't tarry before embarking on the sperm scouring mission.
Mrs. BitchBiko.