Marrying A Stranger And The Consequences - A MUST READ.

This is really really sad and all i can say is that any thing that is started on the foundation in this write up is baseless and will crumble with time...My advice to you is a question.....''Why are you holding unto the dried skin of a caterpillar that has metamorphosed into a butterfly and flown away

''Dear Stella,

I am a regular visitor of your blog, i normally comment under Anonymous below is my story and journey in life....

I am 28yrs old and a career lady, M.SC holder and currently doing PH.d.

I got married 2yrs ago to a young man who is 2yrs older than me, we are from same state but he is based outside the shores of Nigeria. We never dated as it was a match make marriage.... 

He is all i wished for in a man handsome and young....he came back for the wedding 2 years ago which held in December we did both white and traditional marriage same day and we both came back to Lagos just some days after the wedding as i am based in Lagos. 

Two weeks after the wedding he traveled back to his base we had an agreement that since I was working and doing my masters then (part time) and could not join him that I will be coming during my leave and he will be visiting as well…..

Immediately he got to his base he changed he started nagging about every little thing, especially when I missed his call because of meeting or because I forgot my phone in the car or was in the bathroom he will call me all sorts of names ranging from ‘prostitute to h** and all worth not, this is a man that came to Nigeria and used my line for 2 weeks, he picked all my calls and was always at home whenever I go to work and no man has ever called or visited my house he also has my facebook password and there was never a time a strange call or message came in.

This continued till one faithful Sunday that I was sick, I was so weak cos I could not sleep throughout the night so I managed to get to the living room where I was watching TV programs, I forgot my phone in the room and after several hours when NEPA took the light I decided to go to the room only to see several missed calls from him, I quickly called him back and that was the beginning of our problems, he insulted me, my family and everything that I stand for, accused me of being with a man, I burst into tears and he dropped the phone on me.

I reported the issue to my family and when my parents called he refused to pick their calls, and ever since he left for his base after the wedding he has never called my parents.

This continued till mid June 2013, I called him one morning and was asking him when he is coming to Nigeria he said that his business just started flourishing and that he couldnt leave it, I applied for visa to visit him and my passport was delayed at the embassy for almost 2 months, and I was scheduled to travel to US for official training so I had to recall my passport from the embassy to proceed on the training since the flight, hotel and training had been paid for.

My husband got mad and started calling me out that I traveled with a man, I snapped pictures of the training and everything but he never believed, same thing happened when I traveled to London.

He stopped picking my calls for almost 4 months, so I sent him a message that I wanted a divorce last month, but he said nothing about it and never called.

On Saturday August 23^rd I opened his facebook only to see that he has removed all our wedding pictures from his page and that he is engaged to his ex girl friend who is a native of his base….as we speak the girl is 5months pregnant and they are planning to get married in 2 months time….

i am shattered and heartbroken.

 I have been calling him begging him not to marry the girl, I told him that the girl should just give birth to the child ,that  he should not marry her and but he refused.

I am planning on resigning and also putting a hold on my PH.D program in order travel to his base to beg him, I am confused I don’t know what to do''.

*BTW if he marries his girlfriend whilst still married to you,if he is in Europe he will spend time in jail for committing bigamy.