Marrying A B.A.B And The Hiccups Therein....SA Blog Visitor Narrative

When i read her story,i asked for her number and called her in SA and after talking for a while,i was left with the impression that some men are really ungrateful and treat the women who pick them up from the dirt like dirt.
Please be straight to the point in your advice,she is not a Nigerian and might not understand some words you might use and the advice might be lost on her.


B.A.B refers to ''Broke Ass Brother''




She says

''Two years back I traveled with my Nigerian friends from SA to Nigeria just for a week but when I got there I enjoyed my self to a point I decided to stay a year.

 Everything was great until I met a guy and we started going out. You would be shocked to know this same guy was selling fruits when I met him, dirty as hell and my friends kept telling me i am making a mistake but I loved his personality. 

we became very close until he introduced me to his family in ibadan, the minute the guy mentioned I am from SA the mother started praying in tongues, his sister called me names and the only one I could understand was oluru bukuru .

 My guy got angry and we left, two weeks later he proposed to me, I was only 22 but I loved him so I agreed and told him to meet my family for negotiations and he did and sold his fathers house so he can pay my N1.2 million bride price. (equivalent)

We  went to court and signed since his family did not want me and mine also were not so happy I decided to marry a Nigerian man.

 We both moved to SA cos I have my own house and businesses so SA is the only place we could be comfortable . Stella it took just two weeks for my Romeo to change. He started telling me that he wanted his son to also come stay with us.The boy was about a year old and had lost his mum during childbirth so I did not mind..The son arrived and my Romeo started asking for money day and night ,sitting all day at home watching soccer and drinking.

 It was so bad that him and his son were like my kids. I wake up at 5am in the morning to open my shops and prepare our son for school and then prepare myself to go to school because i am doing my masters this year.

I make up N2 5million a month (equivalent)

but I still let him control everything  and i am not pig headed or proud.I tried to open a business for him but instead he took the money and bought booze and travelled around. 

Last month he invited his brother to come visit us for a while . his brother had only been around for  3 weeks and  I already felt the presence of a man in our home .his brother does not let me wake up early he does everything for me and even looks after the kid as well. I thought maybe its a trap to steal from me , so I  left some money in the car i gave him to use to see what he would do but he returned it. 

My husband is always out drinking while his brother is home with me helping me clean and cook and with my business as well . I am so confused because ever since I started doing well in business my husband stopped caring .

He says am the husband in the house and has not touched me in a while and I have feelings too so with the brother all over the house day and night in shorts it has became a challenge for me to control myself. 

Last night for the first time my Romeo came home and told the brother it was time for him to go and when I tried to tell him not to do that he gave me a slap and I lost it for a while.

 His brother beat him up to a point I thought he wanted to kill him and told him things that I have always wanted to tell Romeo since we got married he said ‘’ this woman loved you even when you had nothing, she looks after your kid as her own and your parents are comfortable back home because of her and you have the balls to beat her up’’….

Two hours back I received a call from his friend that he tried to kill himself and he’s in hospital. I am scared and confused .his son is 3yrs and calls me mum ,he is already used to this place,do I send the kid back to Nigeria and do I go see my husband in hospital or let him be and divorce him?

 I am confused please help I am 24, beautiful and intelligent and I want kids of my own and I want to be happy and Romeo is not doing that for me. 

Is it maybe he prefers to hustle like he used to do when we were in Nigeria or maybe i am putting too much pressure on him? Help!!''

*Go and see him in hospital and look for a way to work things out.he is probably carried away by the good life.he needs a reality call,maybe the beating his brother gave him will reset his brain to default or adjust to good behaviour,i dont know but dont send the little boy back to Nigeria,with a father like that,you are all he has.

Try to talk things out and hope for change,if he doesnt change and lays a finger on you again,show him the way out,maybe if he goes back to being broke,he will learn to be grateful and count his blessings..this is my two cents,do what gives you peace.

*Any blog visitor who wants to send me mail to publish has to include number from now on for me to verify the story before i publish,i noticed that some of you mail me and other bloggers same time and we end up having same narrative.i dont want that anymore.That also goes for birthday wishes,if you send to another blog,please dont send me.thank you.