Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Love Not Help VS Help Not Love

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Love Not Help VS Help Not Love


Is this perhaps the reason marriages/relationships are crashing these days?
The reason perhaps why love has no meaning anymore?
Are dating someone because they fill in the space financially,
emotionally or sexually yet you fooled them into believing its love until the wool
fell off?
....So whats your situation?
Love not help or help not love?

120 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Personally, I have had enough of no love no help. You want my love now, be ready to 'help' big time. No time abeg.

      Delete
    2. True love perished with Titanic. >_> argue at ur own detriment ^_* Now give and u shall be given that's the new rule I live by.

      Delete
    3. Love !

      The most confused emotion. We all love Pple for one reason or the other. Weda we do for money, xes, emotional attention or other perks, bottomline is, there is an attraction or a pull.

      Without an attraction, there won't b love. Humans r creatures of selfishness. If we go into a rel for the reasons of financial, emotional, xesual or other forms of comfort, we r being selfish. Now there is nothing wrong wit being selfish cos self preservation is a natural instinct, without which, we'd go into extinction. marrying someone for a reason is perfectly normal, the abnormality stems frm exploiting this reason to their hurt. Simple fact is without attraction, there won't b love. Love shud b an offshoot of attraction. Let it grow on us.

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    4. I have reached a new level of respect for you Ade. No bullshit, you hit it straight!! Companionship can also be tagged "help meet" situation. It's in our DNA - Selfish instinct

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    5. Stella, these days, guys are looking for federal civil servants to marry. Looking for P.A's to governor, governors sisters or cousins, politicians daughters that may help them #godfatherthings, looking for established runs babes. Lazy men! Women sef are not smiling.

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    6. @ Uzochi, u r welcome. Am happy u understand my perspective. U r perfectly right for d stance on companionship as a need. So if u go into a rel for d basic reason of companionship, it's a need u r trying to meet. That's selfish n very basic an instinct. U r no different frm a person who enters a rel for money. Its only bad wen ur selfish need inflicts emotional or bodily harm to d other person.

      Stay blessed Sis.

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    7. You need emotional intelligence to thrive tru a relationship so that u can decipher ur position as either a help or a lover. That's all.

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    8. @ PalominoGeh.. True love wasn't depicted in Titanic.. That was foolish love.Jack shouldn't have died if only they applied wisdom! Taking turns on the slate would have kept him alive till help came..

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    9. We really need to get it right, too many sob stories point to the fact that the motive for getting hooked is wrong, if you truly love someone you wouldn't cheat or hurt the person... please I am feeling a little down can't really say all in my mind but we all need to 're-evaluate ...

      Delete
  2. You love and help..#sipsMoetnChandon#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love is a beautiful thing but d intentions for loving matters most. @Moy Dot produce d peugeot and stop meandering.

      .....Her Excellency.....

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    2. Madam Excellency lol

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    3. Your Excellency can I get 2 know u better Ma.



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  3. e.g. Yobo's wife, soul e baba, most of the woman married to comedians etc. can som1 explain wot i am tryna say?

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    Replies
    1. Nay @Dee Brown, pls explain yaself.

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    2. You are trying to say that they married for money...
      Well no woman want to suffer...can you eat love??..No....
      who no like better thing?abegggi...
      Love gbakwaa oku...

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    3. Dis madam sef! So u no luv ur husband ni? Love gbakwa oku in ur voice. Issorai!

      Delete
  4. More often than not, it's help o, relationships/marriages with benefits. Love don die tipe tipe. Live died with SAP, love was buried with the economic collapse, love was cremated with severe poverty in the Land.

    WOW! WOW!! WOW!!!
    GLO
    112
    4449
    8271
    6276

    ETISALAT
    2231
    6566
    0084
    199

    GBAM! GBAM!! GBAM!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jagba send am straight to my phone na shoo

      Delete
  5. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
    .
    Well i prefer love not help though but seriously the whole sound new to me...
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    ReplyDelete
  6. My husband loves and he helps me a lot even despite our circumstances he always puts me and the kids first but he is too controlling and its bothering me a lot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are too many shameless guys these days. Met one that dropped his card in my office and kept disturbing me he wanted to see me urgently and I decided to see him. The first day he was all nice and sweet singing my praises about how much he admires me as a lady holding fort in a business like nine and would love to take me to dinner.
      To cut long story short dude mer me one day parking my car in an eatery and he stopped over. I told him I was there for lunch and he decided to join me. I placed my order and we ate. The bill was brought this guy dey look my face. I paid for it that day. And made a mental note never to forget the signs of a broke guy.
      The next thing he brought LPO for N1. 6m told me to bankroll it and he would pay me N2m in two weeks. In my mind I thought to myself you couldn't pay 3k for your own meal then you want me to entrust such amount to you. Man no dey chop my money. Na abomination.
      How does this relate to the post?

      Delete
  7. My ex husband married me for my money and he ended up stealing £17,000 of it . God is a a God of justice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How much come remain for your account?
      Liar!

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    2. Only? The guy is a cheap bitch!

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    3. Goodness God!things are happening,sorry anon,he will surely meet his waterloo!
      These days I notice it's even the menfolk that are looking for the help' and it's always financially!guys these days don't like to have any serious relationship with a lady dat is not working or having good financial background.dats really one of the reasons d marriages are breaking,cos d foundation is faulty and not rooted in true love,any lil discord breaks them.someone said and I quote again:by 2030,divorce lawyers will be amongst the most wealthiest and sort after!its so sad but true.this generation has lost it,so unfortunate.

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    4. Queen Bee,you're so correct.True love is rare these days.

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    5. Yes Queen Bee, my X hubby marrid me for help. After attempts to use me to travel out in the end he could no longer act his romance movie he admitted it. Even his family tried osho free but as a confam ibo babe pepper no leave my hand.

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    6. @Queen Bee you mean Wealthiest and not most wealthiest.

      Delete
  8. Mine is love all the way.

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  9. I think helping someone you're in love with comes naturally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If the person is with you for help not love Na only u waka come o.

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  10. A lot of guys are looking for help. They go to banks and ask security men if a cashier is a permanent staff or contract; guys abroad want nurses and doctors; educated and employed men are not left out cos they dump gf for "babies wey gather", even keke driver will ask "she dey work?" smh. After the marriage they wanna take over the lady's finances

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The word "love" has become a cliché. If a guy sees an attractive lady, he mistakes his lust for love. If a lady sees a "made" guy, she mistakes her natural instincts for security as love. True love still exists albeit rare. The problem is we get carried with fantasy and wishful thinking and our hormones acting as catalysts, so we hardly wait for what we call love to be tested by fire. It's only when love has been passed through the fiery furnace of trials and tribulations that it can be called love. The irony of it all is that these same men who attach themselves to financially established still keep side chics who they spend the lady's money on.

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  11. Yes I have been in this situation , my ex fiancé I loved him but I must confess that I only condoned his excesses cause of the financial returns a and mind you I'm not broke but come on who doesn't love being spoiled ?

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  12. I tink d both. I've neva viewed it from this point sha.

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  13. Dee Brown before you judge some of us women have men like that o. My own na "confam" ole! God save us.

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  14. Mine is love firstly,then help comes second, I and my boo help each other sometimes. EVE E UME

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  15. U love and help...me is love amd help sha...D General helps me a wholeee lot.and yours sincerely sure needs help jare.

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  16. I married my friend cos I love friendship. Its working 4 me. We are happy.

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  17. Love isnt enough to get married this days?
    I would adv young girls to marry for financial and friendship reasons.
    No time for ije love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BUSYBODY CORRECTER16 July 2014 at 18:37

      Caribbean Princess:
      *THESE days* not *THIS days*
      ONE LOVE!

      Delete
    2. Jennifer aka Ceecee madam gbagaun.lemme c u laff @ patt ogar again.idiot

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    3. Jennifer ko nkiru ni
      Olodo like you
      Jobless fool
      Die ontop of my matter you hear.

      Thanks BBC! One love!!

      Delete
    4. My own opinion may seem different but you can actually tell when someone truly cares. You see alot of people hop into relationships without taking time to talk and discover more about each other. When you start talking, you start knowing and pay attention to the little signs...from there you can tell who the person is and what he wants from you. The thing is alot of women KNOW these men are bad but they want a relationship desperately so they ignore all the signs.....and at the end they cry foul. Please read the handwrittings on the wall and dont be scared to walk away. You cant continue to patch a boat one day it will sink.

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  18. Most pple marry or date these days 4 help,physical appearance n co.U see all dese comedians n musicians marryin very beautiful ladies,ex beauty peagents n dey come on 2 preach abt marryin a woman wt gd character not beauty.How many of dem are married 2 ugly women wt good character n career? Most men marry beautiful ladies 2 show off,xpecially 2 dia frnds.Its becomin a norm 2 see who marries d finest lady,or d most intelligent,or most famous.Same apply 2 women,who love famous men n money

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So on point!!! Even in families this happens

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    2. The truth is most people who claim "love is dead", "forget love" "what's love gotta do with it" and so forth, are people who have been wounded in the battle field of love so they use these phrases as a defence mechanism. They act all hard and stoic but nobody see their broken hearts because they do their crying in the rain. Which normal human being doesn't want to love and be loved? Most married women who advice spinsters or newly weds to forget love and live for their children, didn't start off with that mentality. It was when they where rudely woken by the harsh realities of life that they were forced to become poets of melancholic lyrics to numb their broken hearts. As for those men who marry attractive women as trophy wives, that has nothing to do with the fact that true love exists. After all some end up falling in love with these women. I'm sorry but I don't subscribe to that marry for wealth and friendship line. Of course money oils the wheels of love but what happens if your partner suddenly goes for broke? Or the "friendship" gets to the point where over-familiarity sets in and that passion is doused by "friendliness"? I'll rather work @ being a seductress to my hubby and keep the fire burning than settle for friendship where you can fart in his presence and throw caution to the wind thereby demystifying yourself.

      Delete
  19. My cousins husband married her for the help o (financial gain). She wised up, took back her ATM card from him, reduced lending him money and will assist his business only when she can. He got frustrated and walked out on her and their kid.
    Ladies please let's not allow age make us feed a man. If he doesn't love you truly he wil leave @ d end.

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  20. Its all Love.



    TessY You.

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  21. Mine is just Love. I once dated for the help but I was miserable. The guy used to disgust me. Anyways I'll chose love over and again.

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  22. I want help nt love but will lata need love nt help

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  23. Love all the way.....

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  24. Love all the way.....

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  25. Love n help 4 me. He does both 4 me, but he does the help most!!

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  26. This love of a thing is so overrated,its cos of this same love that marriages are crashing. ....
    .....once u guys are sexually compatible,there is mutual respect and tolerance then u are good to go.
    ...loves knows no boundaries and anything without boundary will collapse like a badly arranged arranged cards.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1000000 Likes

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    2. Gbam 100%. U have said it all.

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    3. Sorry sex is overrated and once you do it before you marry, the "see finish" syndrome takes over. Love is the way chica

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    4. A million likes @ ezenwanyi

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  27. Love is almost not in existence when it comes to most naija ladies, all they care is the financial gain that comes with it, you see them crying wolf always that naija guys are heartbreakers, where as the guys see them as wretched gold diggers meant to be used and dump. Show me a rich guy and I show you a player. For me I don't love, I just play the game whilst it last.

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    Replies
    1. Naija men are the gold diggers now o. Most women 18 upwards are into some enterprise or the other.

      Delete
  28. Queen Bee, don't write things out the way you say them.

    Sought after, not sort after. Pronouncing it "sort" is like how y'all add r to everything, it is not tush...it sounds razz.

    BBC...make I assist you small no vex.

    ReplyDelete
  29. My man he's in for money but I love him, well as far d money no run dry no problem. ...

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    Replies
    1. He's like a stray dog. Once the food dries up he'll move on. Don't find yourself becoming a killer.

      Delete
  30. I think the problem here is that most pple don't get what love is..love is not an attraction to someone..love is not a need sef..love is just an unexplainable feeling..it comes wen u don't expect nd from whom u don't expect..wen u realize u love someone,u most at tymz start by denying it nd tryin to force it to b not true..but u just can't help it..if u have a reason for "loving" someone,den dats not love cos with love,u just can't explain y

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree with u. Dis is what happened to me. I can't explain it, some1 I saw so many faults in now seems so perfect.

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    2. Gbam! I agree with you 100%.
      It happened to me.

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    3. U nailed it!! When u love som1 u can't jus fathom the reasons why u did.

      Delete
  31. I'll rather date for love than help , if you decide to date for help you're going to end up with someone who disgusts you. There's this guy in my office who has been on my case for a while, I have this feeling he wants to date me to help relief his sexual urges, I may be wrong but with way he looks at me ....

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  32. Taaaaaah!!! I wont dare marry for love. I would marry for comfort and friendship.

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  33. Dee Brown,(3rd to comment)just crawl back to the loser's hole that you belong to. If you had known Adaeze Igwe's(Yobo's wife you just mentioned)father, you would have understood why material things mean nothing to her. I am telling you because I know. Please go away!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you also know Adaeze was a Lagos runs babe despite her father being a prof? Yes she was! Soon as she started modelling with orange drugs, she started runs.

      Delete
  34. Interesting post. Ladies especially the married and the ones desperate to get married SHINE YOUR EYES. Plenty hungry guys in town.

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  35. For me it's love: I can say it now because I was in for the 'help' but somehow we both just fell in love. Even though I still like the 'help' but I really cherish the love. Come to think of it, he's 45 and I'm 25. Frigging fuck!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only reason you are dating a 45 year old is because if help, not love.

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    2. And if you are opportuned to meet him, trust me...you will love him and forget about the help.

      Delete
  36. Love is important so is help but love should determine who to be with and not help so that when the help is not fort coming due to change in situation especially in marriage love will help them to overcome together and the help will continue after the storm.

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  37. Aunty Stella all join biko. Ur lover/spouse shud be ya helpmate mbok.

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  38. In as much as it is good to have a supportive spouse, it is dangerous for someone to base marriage solely on economic gain. What happens when the party can no longer afford what he used to offer you? That is why you see a spouse (more especially women)misbehaving when the other party is no longer providing as used to. Life is full of ups and downs, marry someone you can live with in good and bad times. Rose

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  39. Love and help for me o,but love is the most important sha

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  40. I think the problem here is that most pple don't get what love is..love is not an attraction to someone..love is not a need sef..love is just an unexplainable feeling..it comes wen u don't expect nd from whom u don't expect..wen u realize u love someone,u most at tymz start by denying it nd tryin to force it to b not true..but u just can't help it..if u have a reason for "loving" someone,den dats not love cos with love,u just can't explain y

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spot on...

      Love and help I seems to me like they go hand in hand if you love someone you wouldn't hurt them in anyway you would always wanna help out when they need it,its kindah complicated pls
      Its love and help for me abeg I can't shout

      *Sweetness*

      Delete
  41. Stella's Newest Fan16 July 2014 at 21:41

    Love ke?? Love died and was buried a long time ago.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Cassandra baby16 July 2014 at 21:53

    Love all d way

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  43. Wow!
    Learnt a lot from this post already!

    Thank you stella..!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I LIBER,SDKER,AND AMDER.16 July 2014 at 22:15

    A must read,Angel Maryjane David just posted it now.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Even girls with rich parents marry men for their money. Esp girls from rich homes cos they are used to a certain standard of living and most do not want to hustle but they still want to maintain their lavish lifestyle hence marriage for wealth. So my dear the ones from rich homes are most guilty of marrying for Wat they can get and when the cash runs out they move back in with their parents..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweet heart most (I said most oo lol )rich girls marry rich men not really because of the money. You see when you've reached a certain level in life alot of the people who come around you will only be concerned about money and using u as a ladder to reach their dreams. So thats why some marry from rich homes...

      Delete
    2. I agree 100%. I learnt the hard way. Next man must be my level or high

      Delete
  46. People always thinking of the impossible, well that a'int my business.

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  47. @ Caribbean princess broke ass bitch. Ur the liar fucking tramp from the pit of hell !!!. I still have plenty in the bank this time no nigga is stealing it bloclat ! Rasclat !!!.

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  48. @ Caribbean princess broke ass bitch. Ur the liar fucking tramp from the pit of hell !!!. I still have plenty in the bank this time no nigga is stealing it bloclat ! Rasclat !!!.

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  49. Love is dead 4 real is abt d help nw

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  50. Love is dead 4 real is abt d help nw

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  51. Love ultimately but in loving we help each other.

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  52. I think love and help usually go hand in hand cos you can't love someone without helping the person.

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  53. Love is a beautiful thing!!!

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  54. once you love,you will always be ready to help.so the two goes together

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  55. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  56. This love na wa o,
    I will go for LOVE dan help,
    Hubby puts my needs and dat of my daughter first even when am capable doing stuffs for myself.
    Love is just a wonderful feeling one can't explain especially when married to a nice gentleman who sees the best in u all d time
    Love has changed me
    If u ask me to DEFINE LOVE I don't hve a definite definition,I do not even know how to start sef,I just bless God everyday for my HUBBY(my bestfriend nd gossipmate)
    I never believed in LOVE,never knew LOVE existed till I met my HUBBY.
    I might not be d richest but av got PEACE OF MIND(cnt buy it in d mkt)

    ReplyDelete
  57. Love and help comes with the territory...

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  58. and what was the reason for marriage in the first when instituted it..sory guys but it was actually for adam to get a HELPMATE..

    sholary

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  59. Ronalda, Thank you very much. You have said it all.Rose

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome dear. Thank you too.

      Delete

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