I guess when comedian Alibaba asked this question,he wasn't sleep walking.......
I have been been dating my boyfriend for approximately 13months and still counting. First day I met him, I knew I had come to my last bus stop with men. The feeling was very mutual. It was likeness at first sight which eventually grew into love. We are both in love with each other even though we have had some ups and downs in this 13months. We always make up after each fight and somehow we are still together waxing strong in our love and Gods love everyday.
Trouble started 6months into our relationship wen boyfriend told me his parents told all his siblings including himself not to marry any babe from Ogun(He's from Ekiti) and that he's disobeying them cos he's in love with an Ogun girl. (His elder siblings are married tho)
They claim Ogun women make their husbands turn his back on family and so its an instruction passed down from his great grandfather. It was a shock to me and I started a fight wondering why it took him 6months to tell me dat. I told him to tell his parents he was disobeying them so dat I would know how to move forward but he refused. We however settled cos he told me its not a problem at all. He assured me that he would talk to his parents dat he's in love with an Ogun girl and thats d person he wants to marry.
Long and short, I met his parents in May dis year. His dad appeared very nice to me. And during the introduction, he asked for my State of Origin. I replied Ogun state sir. His countenance and that of his wife changed even tho they tried to hide it. I sensed it and knew I wasn't wanted. Eventually, it was time to leave and their son had to drop me off. I bade them goodbye and wished them a safe trip back to Ekiti as they only came to Lagos visiting.
Two days after, I asked my boyfriend what transpired wen he got bk to his house after dropping me off and he says his folks were not comfortable with me cos I'm from Ogun and stuff. Infact his dad was telling him to hook up wif some old childhood Friends of his and dat he told his dad he's heart chose me. And I'm wondering, to think we all Yoruba.
They don't even want to give me a chance to see Christ in me or the love that I have for their son n vice versa. They just generalized my family just because we are from Ogun state. My Boyfriend keeps telling me not to worry all will be well, but I know I'm getting married to his family and not to him alone. First impression matters a lot and my "future mum-in law" wasn't comfy with me at all. She tried to hide it though.
They succeeded in chasing his 1st Ogun state girlfriend away. Now he's with me again. I don't want to be the reason he's disobeying or he's going to disobey his great grandpa's instruction.
I'm very confused. I love this boy with all my heart and I know he loves me too.
1)Should I just end this relationship and move on in other to avoid in law issues in future.
2) Or should still hang on and hope that they will come to accept me in future as their sons wife.
3) To crown it all, there's some dude from Ekiti state that has been on my case for months. He wants to marry me. And he doesn't believe in the Ekiti/Ogun state War. I like him but not as much as I like my boyfriend. Should I break up wif my boyfriend and say yes to this man whose family is ready to accept me.
Blog visitors please leave reasonable comments for me to make my decisions from. Please do not remind me of the war between the two states in questions or any other war between other tribes in Nigeria. I think its time for us to stop being tribalistic. Hoping to read from you all soon. Thanks and God bless.''
*If he goes against his parents wish and goes ahead to marry you,his family will excommunicate him and make it look like you have made him turn his back on them.
If you must marry him,try to reach out to the in laws otherwise your marriage will be dead on arrival.....just my two cents
wrong advice stella. she must carry on. it shows d guy really loves her. most guys won't continue wit d relationship which questions d love for her.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, please do leave this guy as it's not too late @ the moment. Speaking from experience, I was with my ex bf for almost 5yrs. Despite the fact that his dad had his reservations about me (for no just reason I might add) he promised me heaven and earth and to also stay with me no matter what. To cut long story short, he left! Got another girl before breaking up with me and they are getting married this year...all to please his father! OYO and OGUN state here
DeleteMy two cents. u can take several sdk manufactured seats if u like. lol
ReplyDeleteMadam don't marry him they will Neva Eva accept you. If you force ur selves to marry m he cut his family off they will say you see now that's what we were saying about ogun women. I'm Yoruba n il tell you again don't force it hunnie. Yoruba pple are mean n wicked & once their mind is made up nobody can change it o so run before they go diabolical on your ass. Unless you like fighting spiritual battle very well then go ahead. A Yoruba parable says a bad wife/husband is better to have than to have bad inlaws. Another one says God is not wicked it is him man beings that we should beg.
ReplyDeleteI don talk my own o tori tobaya na you go face am alone not us o.
You r right. Yorubas are so mean n wicked with an unforgiving heart. Dey can go to any lenght even conc jazz to make sure dey wipe u out. After dey will be pretending to love demselves but dey don't. Look at how two yoruba states are messing up.
DeleteIf u no get strenght better run ooh or soon u go face dirty jazz wey fit make u turn mad unless u sabi pray wella
Run run run ooh mbok
IKAN
Why call yoruba pple wicked? Thats too mean! The poster is Yoruba, she only asked for ur advise not abuse her tribe!
DeleteThe story only goes to show the meaness of yoruba people even against their fellow yorubas, if the guy really loves u, pls fuck the family, have a happy relationship with ur guy, if they finally accept u, fine, if they don't, they should go to hell, you haven't done anything wrong to them
DeletePD can u read? I said in my comment I'm also Yoruba and my pple are wicked. Sue me!
DeleteMy dear wickedness cuts across every tribe and race on earth,don't attribute it to yorubas alone...poster personally I cannot stay in a relationship where his people are against me, if you fight to keep him now just know you will fight for the rest of your days in that relationship,is it worth it?
DeleteBut this rivalry is common in all tribes not just to the Yorubas. Poster don't force issues if his parents are not willing to accept you now, they will just create problems.
DeletePoster,please run for your dear life...don't make the mistake of going into that family coz they will make your marriage to their son miserable.....
ReplyDeleteI will advise you to accept the second guy,with time,you will get to love him more....
In marriage,love alone is not enough...
Where I come from for example,our men don't marry from Imo state most especially,Mbaise and Owerri...so its everywhere....
Nigerians are very very tribalistic especially in marriage
Enugu and anambra don't mingle with imo and abia......it's so frustrating when you hear even our Christian parents talk about it.
DeleteMy cousin married a lady from imo and even if the family fought it, she's the best wife in that compound now, 6 years down the road.
Anyway, I don't know what to say to you poster
Say Anambra where u come from don't marry from other igbo state why dont u complete ur sentence?because we igbos know Anambra people are the worst tribalistic people in igboland. Offcourse we all know no true igbo from other state will enter there bearing in mind how mother inlaw will fustrate such person. Even other Anambra community hate to marry nnewi people. Linda Nigeria is not tribalistic, it is me and you including your parents being ignorant.
Delete@Anno lie! Nigerians are very tribalistic. Even imo state People from orlu dont marry from mbaise or owerri. The parent strongly advice aginst it. @poster, you see love is not enogh in marraige. Use ur female sixth sence and think. If ur man is financially stable and he is not the Type to be controlled by his parent then marry him. Afterall, u are not going to live with ur inlaws.
Deleteleave him and his family alone. i have a personal moto i only go where i am celebrated or at least accepted and not where i am merely tolerated.
ReplyDeletesee it is not worth it jor. marriage on its own has challenges wey u wan take in law wahala join. you can love again move on before you get too hooked.
What won't I hear or see sha. And please what's the war between both states? I would really like to know.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
Seriously ??? Did you really read the post and understand it?
DeleteLet him go. God will give you a man with relatives that will love you dearly.
ReplyDeleteLove is not only the ingredient needed to make a marriage work.
It is well
Exactly. If there are 10 reasons to marry someone, love should be like number 6 or 7.
DeleteMy dear poster, I know it will hurt for a while but just move on and give the next one a chance. I'm speaking from experiencce. Had a nupe boy I loved only for the family to give me hell spiritually.I never had nightmares but after the introduction I could barely sleep because of the nightmares, attacks and all. Some nights I will do night vigil so that I won't have to sleep. We would quarrell for no reason, I almost lost myself cs I ws desperate enough because of the "love" untill I realised that what is yours is yours and you don't have to sacrifice it all for "love" .Love shouldnt come with so much pain. At least there is another person in the picture so moving on wouldn't be so hard. Just trust in God dear and don't bother yourself much about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Ekiti state while my husband is from Ogun state,my dad had reservations,cos he said pple from Ogun are very fetish (wc is true) but since my hubby and his family are christians,he just had to come arnd. He loves my husband like a child now. I said all that to say this: tribalism has always been and will always be,even within the same state,some parents still won't allow their children marry from some tribes eg,Ijebu and Egba. Now,the place of 'religion' in all this is very important. Your future parents inlaw shld knw d kind of upbringing they av given their son and shld not be scared of the influence his wife would have on him. The holy book says 'honour your parents' acknowledging and caring for them is part of honouring them,also,we were commanded to love our neighbours,not keep records of wrong doing,even with those who have wronged up one too many times. Overall,anyone with the fear of God in them would find it easy to do away with tribal fallacies and just ask for God's guidance in whatever they do. Whatever God has called clean,let no man see as unclean. If your parents inlaw (to be) can't see past this,then maybe you shldnt be in such an 'ungodly,tribalistic' home.
ReplyDeleteIf u get d mind, carry go!
ReplyDeleteRememba naija relatives are nosey ppl.
Wen u marry, u marry d whole family.
But if u stat aving P wit ur moda and fada inlaw frm d day go,
Babe, oyo is ur case #InRitaDomnic'sVoiz
Imagine after marriage ur hubby stat's misbehaving, wu wld u run to, to caution him? #JustSaying!
Gbam! Babes the guy can change later, if hus parents don't like u, you are so on ur own o!
DeleteTatafo
Dear poster i don't think you will like to be sad for the rest of your life. So do what is needful.
ReplyDeleteSame thing my MIL said to my hubby when we started dating though his dad didn't have issues with it. Ekiti -Ogun ish no be here!!! It didn't stop him from marrying me tho!
ReplyDeleteShe has accepted her fate and everything is fine.
You need to prove to them that you are not in competition with them over their son. Most times, I always remind my hubby to call his folks and I try to stay in touch too..
Its up to your guy to make his choice and he needs to do that on time so he won't be stringing you along..
I really don't understand why they wud chase his 1st Ogun gf nd he wud still date u from Ogun afterwards. For me, i cant marry a man whose parents don't approve of me. But in the longrun- its your decision to make.
ReplyDeleteIf he broke up with his ex cos she's frm ogun state, due to his family's beliefs, what makes you think he wont break up wt u eventually?
ReplyDeleteI think you know the answer to your dilemma deep down your heart, choose from one of those options you gave and drink a very chilled bottle of Fanta afterwards.
This rubbish war,my husband is from Ondo state,his parents are in love with me,but when we were courting we went for a family function and a distant cousin of his,who lived in America for yaers and works in a multinational firm called him to the side and said,why do you want to marry from Ijebu?This is well travelled lady o,so called enlightened folks.We have a long way to go in this country i swear,The hate other Yorubas have for Ogun people,especially Ijebu,no be for here.
ReplyDeleteYou're soo right dear, I'm from Ijebu too.... it's quite sad tho
DeleteIt is deep seated caused by your forefathers and the story has been passed among upland yoruba tribes. Your love for money and blocking other tribes from trading with whitemen on the coast is legendary.
DeleteAlso ijebus are too fetish and domineering especially from the women side.All these factors contribute to the resentment of other yorubas especially the ekitis and ondos.
Although I don't share this sentiment, as one of my close buddies is going through this stress in his marriage as family has excommunicated him for going against their wish.However it seems the Ijebu girls are paying for the sins of their ancestors.
It is deep seated caused by your forefathers and the story has been passed among upland yoruba tribes. Your love for money and blocking other tribes from trading with whitemen on the coast is legendary.
DeleteAlso ijebus are too fetish and domineering especially from the women side.All these factors contribute to the resentment of other yorubas especially the ekitis and ondos.
Although I don't share this sentiment, as one of my close buddies is going through this stress in his marriage as family has excommunicated him for going against their wish.However it seems the Ijebu girls are paying for the sins of their ancestors.
My mum told me and my Brother not to get married to an Ijebu or some one frm Abeokuta but never gave us reasons.There is dis Ijebu guy who has been on my neck since,I can't date him bcos of my mum's warning.
DeleteMy dear.Choosing my words carefully,I'll advice you to quietly walk away from this relationship if you are not able to get his parent's wholehearted consent.Truth is, without it,your marriage will never work.People from the same ethnic/tribal stock who disagree on spousal choice have similar issues,how much more your case.Imagine this scenario-They'll never truly love you,your kids will never truly be accepted,his siblings will also not accept you wholly & if anything goes wrong,all fingers will point in your direction! It takes the grace of God for such cases to end well but are u willing to go through the emotional torture you might be predidposed to? Trust me,if you choose another suitor,in five years,you won't even remember this present guy's surname.So,pls disregard the issue of "I love him so much." That "love" is usually a movie script.Be strong & make a decision.
ReplyDeleteYoloba people....
ReplyDeleteYes o!
DeleteTatafo
Damn you M-amie. You're such a bimbo . Please,read Linda Eze's comment. Jobless trophy wife.
DeleteHi dear...
ReplyDeleteSame thing I went thru...can u imagine...I neva knew dis kinda thing existed until my hubby and I started thinkn marriage...he den started to remind me that I am Ijebu and I shld be prepared for some resistance frm his family.
I was like...so u dis ondo and ekiti ppl that ppl shld be running away frm becos of ur stubbornness are d ones hand pickin tribes
I told him straight on to go sort out his family as me I wont even take it lightly . I was alredi irritated by d thot of it...we r all yorubas na.
His sis started makin me feel like dey were doin me a favour....I was mad..
And to think my hubby suffered so much before I gave in to him...someone who chased me for 4 yrs non-stop...twas so bad that ppl who av neva spoken to him were tryin to talk to me on his behalf...cos it was so obvious he loved me..
I even tot he myt commit suicide if I dint agree to date him
He later told his family that if he doesnt marry me...no one shld eva ask him for his gf/fiance for the next 20yrs...he wl do it wen it pleases him bt dey shld be ready to wait long if dey make him miss me.
Seein that he has neva even had a gf before neither have dey even noticed him wt any particular girl...dey just let him be.
Wen d family came for intro...dey had the guts to tell my family that dey usually dont marry ijebu ppl bt dey r giving an exception now and dey hope nt to regret it.
.
My mum was mad....she made dem feel worthless sef...she told dem I was born n bred in lagos...schooled abroad...so that I was already stooping sef to marry someone that was born in Ondo tho bred in Lagos. She told dem we dont marry 'Local razz' ppl...ppl who cant rise above sentiments and superstitions ...dt she is even so surprised I agreed to marry der son...and dt its nt even too late yet sef...see aw all of dem went on der knees...even d aged amongst dem...begging and pleading wt my parents...dt dey wl neva say such again...sebi we r all Yoruba and Christians for that matter....
Anyways...der predictions are right (that ijebu wives always make der husbands distant from his family and dey can be controlling) and I dont care (so sorry bt dey pissed me off alredi)...me wt hubby moved outta naija 4months post-weddin...now we only call dem twice a month or weekly....bt ofcus I call my parents more regularly...and dey actually call us d more....I really dont care abt pleasin his family anymore...
Even hubby is more comfortable wt my parents and siblings...as per our thoughts and actions r way past der levels.
Anyway Poster, its his decision to make...if he wants you...stick wt him and make him stand up for u ....if he isnt doin dt...leave immediately. ..nonsense upon ingredients
Ekiti and Ondo! Pls Pls fear them o! I leave my story for another day.
DeleteGod bless you.
DeleteHmmmm ijebu!!! I fear una. Imagine, your hubby is now more comfortable with your parents and siblings, bcos your thoughts and actions are way past theirs *yinmu*. Isn't it obvious that u married "away" your hubby, since u have succeeded in making him accept your so-called family's thought and actions. U care so much about your own family and u are very ok and happy dat your hubby neglected his own parents. Remember, what goes around comes around, forget jet age, karma is a bitch.....Abi no be children u born so??? Except u can boldly say that u pray your daughter-in-law treats u the same way u are treating your parents-in-law. Tomorrrow is pregnant, as in "real belle"!
Delete@DM..., na vexation make me talk like dat...can u imagine...u wl leave ur country n face racism...u wl be wt ur own ethnic group n be facing tribalism....which way na?
DeleteWat I meant by our thoughts n actions is...my parents call us almost daily...dey call me , dey call my husband...dey dont start counting d last time we made a call to dem cos dey knw we r busy...dey pray daily wt us...dey support us.
Bt his own family...na to dey accuse us everytime we call...plus am talkn abt his uncles n aunties o...nt his dad n sister...I gist wt his sister daily on watsapp...
Bt I neva knew ondo n Ijebu ppl had a thing until we were gonna get married and truth is it pisses me off til today...
Cos I hate any form of bias or discrimination.
I am sorry to say this, but I think you should just forget the guy and go for the other one, lemme ask you, even you guys in Ogun state don't marry yourselves, ijebu don't marry egba, so all this things tribal jargons are everywhere.
ReplyDeleteIf you go ahead with the guy against his parents wish..... may not be smooth. I had a similar experience, she's from ekiti and we loved each other but the mother seemed sweet to me in my presence but behind me... only God knows.... her actions after we broke up was shocking... am an Ogun boy... shocked cos never thought they still hold such beliefs.
ReplyDeleteMy Ondo mother in law could be so sweet! Sit on my leg, let's eat from d same plate, come drink from my cup etc guess what? She had me checked out spiritually n I passed, only to find out that she used to tell my fiance then to bring other girls names to check for him, then she d tell me one thing n tell him the opposite to make us fight. Omo! Fear Ondo/ Ekiti people. If u get a good one u re one of the lucky few.
DeleteShe had u checked out spiritually?!! And u dont sound suprised either. Yoruba and juju na twins.
DeleteOko buruku se ni, anor buruku ni o da. (I'm terrible with writing Yoruba so manage am please. Lol)
ReplyDeleteAll I will tell you is run as fast as you can. Love is not all that sustains a marriage oo. If you've seen signs of future pain and heartache from the beginning why not avoid it.
No man will forsake his family forever, sooner or later he will dance to their tune
It is 'ana'. All yorubas words end with a vowel(same with Japanese).It is a big shame when we take pride or feel cool in our inability to write our own language. Who will write it for us?
DeleteIt is 'ana'. All yorubas words end with a vowel(same with Japanese).It is a big shame when we take pride or feel cool in our inability to write our own language. Who will write it for us?
DeleteAnon 5:25 I disagree..not evry yoruba words end with a vowel,except 'N' is now considered a vowel...eg iyan,opon,odun etc
DeleteOlodo... bitchplis didn't. u notice something in all the yoruba words u just mentioned?
DeleteNa me say make them no teach Yoruba as primary language for school?
DeleteMore so what gives you the impression that I'm Yoruba
Bitchplis I'm shocked that there are nasal vowels an,on,in,un,en etc. It is a single sound.Don't tell me you were taught in yoruba class as an ibadan boy.
DeleteOde anons,he/she never said 'vowel sound' ode
DeleteNaija why O why? We are our own very problems no doubt...plS my dear pray to God about this and I also think you should relate more with his family no matter how hard it is beccause it better to end up with a man who means everything to you and viceversa than that plan B my 2cents.
ReplyDelete*sweetness*
Yea, be sensible. Love will not hold you when or if yawa gas. They will say ah but we warned you. Find Ya level babes.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was only igbo that does that. It's too. Poster i won't advice you to marry someone whose family detest you. which of your in-laws will you turn to when the going gets tough in future. The decision is yours,i won't do it because i hate in-law wahala
ReplyDeleteNk
*igbo's
Delete*its too bad
Please leave this man now, unless you have what it takes to go through all the troubles. Your peace and happiness is more important than anything else. Rose
ReplyDeleteMy dear I believe love conqures all. If he is ready to fight for ur love, I will advice u marry him. Dnt worry it may be rough at d onset but with time dey will sure come to accept who u trully are provided u wnt treat them bad. I v seen cases like dis n dey all v succeded in being at peace with the family. Patients is the key word.
ReplyDeleteNaso Ekiti ppl D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ always generalize tribes nd to think D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ claim to be intelligent. SMH
ReplyDeleteI don't blame dem sha,na S̶̲̥̅Æ ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ deir life be,attend primary skul in ekiti,secondary skul(ekiti),university(ekiti),also work in ekiti.
I wonder wetin Ogun ppl do dem oh
Ekiti kete,proud ppl who always b'liv D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ right in all D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ do even wen it's wrong. Dey can write petitions against deir boss. Dey can form say,na dem spik english pass. Can drink beer from nw till 2maro,can eat pounded yam as deir brk-fast,lunch nd dinner.
ReplyDeleteFunny set of tribe.
His parents are crude bastards..leave him. What rubbish! They don't want someone from ogun state(same yoruba),so wat if he's datin someone from anoda tribe?I guess dey'l totally disown him...foolish parents.he'l end up marrying someone from his parents' prefered states dat'l make his life miserable
ReplyDeleteThank you jare.
DeleteTatafo
Heissss! U get parents so? And u are sure you aint a b***** as well? U are really lost. Who will even have u as a daughter-in-law? Na only to curse u sabi. I pity d guy dating u. I won't be surprised if u disrespect your parents. Yeye girl!
DeleteI could see u are a boy, stupid boy u are. How dare u call some parents bastards. Dat shows u are one. Uncouth stupid boy!
DeleteHeissss! U get parents so? And u are sure you aint a b***** as well? U are really lost. Who will even have u as a daughter-in-law? Na only to curse u sabi. I pity d guy dating u. I won't be surprised if u disrespect your parents. Yeye girl!
Delete@DM,u r obviously new here,ode.
DeleteWhich yeye war is dat? I'm from Ogun and my sister is married to a man from Ekiti. Some parents have time. Aren't dey educated and enlightened? To be dragging one great grand Father's issue to this age. I even lent my father in law had told his sons not to bring any ijebu girl home(he is from Ibadan) when he met,he dint even remember he ever said dat cos he liked my person. All ds stereotype things sha. Hian.
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him, Once your in-laws have said they don't want you then my dear run for your life!
ReplyDeleteTwo things are gonna happen if you marry this guy.... IS either you spend the rest of your life trying to prove that you are a very wonderful person, do the things that on a very good day you won't do, laugh at jokes that ain't funny just to be accepted in the fold and in most cases one mistake from you and you are back to square 1 OR...
ReplyDeleteYou defy all odds and marry this guy and do what you have to do so long as it pleases God and they will accept you with time... Think about it.. if its a risk you are willing to take then by all means go ahead otherwise this may be a sign to quit and run as fat as your legs can carry you
ALL THE BEST IN YOUR DECISION MAKING
Good advise. My dear poster shey u have heard. Marriage these days is challenging enough, when u add this feud that s passed through generations? Babes I d advise against going ahead with this. You don't need to prove anything. Free him Pls. Unless they come begging for u to come back, Pls let him be.
DeleteBig lies my dad is from Ekiti he marry my mum who is from Ogun, my dad have four sisters, three marry from Ogun my wife is from ogun. would your friend say the truth and let you move on with your life,
ReplyDeleteYour family is unique dear.
DeleteYou guys are enlightened now. Its b
DeleteNot so with most people. Just saying
Tatafo
Your family is unique dear.
DeleteI quite understand your pain dear. I am from Ekiti and i must confess that Ogun State is a No-No for my family.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough, we are educated, internationally exposed but then, it's just a fundamental sentiment. It has been wired into most Ekiti people DNA no matter how learned they are...
My advise is simple: Love conquers all.
Its his ( Your boyfriend's) call not yours to settle that part with his parents. If you are valuable and precious to him, he will fight your battle...If not, just take a walk. You really do not want to start your marriage from a rumpled mindset...There are enough challenges in marriages already..Tribal war should not be part of it.
All the same, i wish you the Best
Check out: http://marriageessence.wordpress.com/
Stupid family. *spits on u n ur parents*
DeleteJeez..... U spat on Tolas parents? Why are people so disrespectful? What is wrong with you? Are you mentally deranged?
Delete@Opara mini....ur family is more stupid.#Ode#
DeleteOpara mini it is obvious your own parents did a bad job on you. How can u scoff by spitting on other people for their own opinion and how does it affect your life.
DeleteDo you think this is limited to yoruba or igbos alone(cos I know anambra people share the sentiments too). Even in the bible the jews are forbidden to marry outsiders,will you now spit on father abraham?
I spent a year plus of my gap year in southern France with a couple of my english friends and no french girl will date us.My luck changed when they discovered I'm originally an african.They called the english perfidious albion and associate them with treachery.My MBA class too was very diverse yet the chinese girls won't just relate with japanese girls and vice versa.
We all just need to do away with sentiments and foster closer interactions.With time all these prejudices will fade out.
My advise is leave the guy plz........i hate drama especially wen it has to do wit inlaws, they dont like the fact you re from ogun state y do u wanna manage? or live your life trying to prove ure different?? Blessings from both families goes a long way in marriage. Get to know the oda guy e jst might b beta. #my7cents
ReplyDeletePoster 4get him! #Belle
ReplyDeleteBlog visitor here is just the truth..if u out of love marry ur boyfriend irrespective of the "Ogun law" place by his family;u two might be living in piece but just know that his family would count both u and their son off..the hatred will even become much that u would wish u never married him..trust me I know what am talking about;same thing happened to my uncle,in my mum's side(some place in Imo state) there are soo many places in Imo state and most especially Anambra where u can't marry from..especially the people who are the "OSU" or who live or have any kind of relationship with the "osu" (osu means some kind of ancestral tribe who worship some kind of diety or soo in igbo tribe,or believed to be witches..I just can't explain much about the osu cos I havnt learnt much about it sha)..back to the story;my uncle after everything married this lady who is from Anambra(in as much as the lady is quite owkay,has a very good attitude+manners and soo much down to earth) but her inlaws couldn't take her in cos she was from that part forbidden as stated..the fight was never a smal one ooo;it caused commotion in d family,quarrel etc even to the extent that everybody from ma mum's side abandoned him and gave him the ultimatum to stay on his own..wheneva there is any kinda village meeting or soo;my uncle is always exempted..it even happened up to the extent that nobody went for "omugwo" when his my uncles wife gave birth except my mum cos my mummy doesn't believe in d tribe difference of a thing..now see anoda wahala;after my mum went to visit and stayed with this lady for like 2 or 3 months as she gave birth(cos my mum was always fond of her when everyone was against her);it now happened that every other member of the family counted my mum off too cos it was against the law altogether..my dear story too long ooo..but to cut it short;after everything my mum kinda got everyone's trust too and has helped my uncle win a lil trust from some members of the family in as much as soo many are still against him even up till now...soo dear blog visitor here is my point;if the guys family is against;just move on and explain things to him cos the option of happily ever after won't be in that marriage..they will frustrate and frustrate u and even wish for ur death..soo choose wisely here and do what's best..but incase if u decide to continue with the marriage;then whateva u see in it shouldn't be new to you and pls don't come crying here after cos soo many will even cuss u out the more..I wish u all d best..my 5 cent
ReplyDeleteDis one don dey craze o. See story on top anoda person matter
DeletePls poster don't deceive yourself at all. This marriage is a no go area o. I'm sorry to say but his family members are obviously very tribalistic and you do not want to be miserable when you get married. Don't waste anymore precious time listening to you boyfriend saying it doesn't matter. I must also say I'm disappointed that this exists amongst yorubas but nothing new under the sun, unfortunately we Africans are more racist to each other than whites. Even the so called Ekiti man chasing you may turn around and say something later so beware, not sure if it's a gud idea to give him a chance. Above all start luking unto God for another man, cause the worse situation to deal with in marriage is in- laws who don't like you for because of your tribe!
ReplyDeleteYour ans lay in your ques....dump him and move forward with your life.
ReplyDeleteThat's how my dad was saying we should not marry anyone that is not from my state (Akwa-ibom) I hv stayed in lagos all my life I only come across yoruba girls well to cut the long story short all my siblings are married to different tribes and me aswell he has come to accept all is in laws its a matter of time marry where your heart is
ReplyDeletePls I need to.know. What was ur father s reason o
DeletePls save yourself the drama let the stupid family go and sort their demons.......when the guy is ready to face life without that stupid family instructions it will not be at your expense.......u can love again trust me....do u want to spend your time in warfare instead of praying for better things? No marriage is without problems I know but the basic mutual respect and love should exist first.......and please marriage is between a man and a woman not family.......that is the stupid African tradition that has robbed a lot of people of happiness in their homes........love your inlaws and show respect but their views should not decide how a marriage should function......men take note cos u are the biggest culprit of that bullcrap....
ReplyDeleteMarry someone who loves you silly. A little love, intelligence and common sense is all that is needed. Drop that dudes a*s like it's hot and move on to well deserving men.
ReplyDeleteI concur. If he can toast u like say he wants to die there, why not use the same zeal to convince his parents by now. Free am jor.
DeleteTatafo
Give me his number.
ReplyDeleteLet me talk to him on your behalf.
Lol.See thief ooo. Receive it!!!
DeleteThe best advice any one can give u is the one u give to ur self, so dear just ff ur heart n pray abt it
ReplyDeletePls, leave that family alone
ReplyDeleteEkiti pple too get wahala...
In fact, I think I'll write an open letter to Ekiti indigenes...
They are a bunch of self righteaous folk...
They believe every other tribe does jazz, cheat, steal, etc
They are so quick to remove the log in other tribe's eye forgetting the forest beclouding them...
And to think their men can womanize for Africa, when it comes to women matters abi na sexology, dem carry first.
I am ijebu and I am proud to be one(yes we dey do jazz, tell me a tribe in Nigeria dat doesn't av one herbalist in their village)
Yes we too like money(it's d love that Bible condemns)
Thank God my people don't reason this way, I would av disowned them long ago...
Ekiti pple make una take una time ooo, dnt let me para for u ooo
Why will they reason like that, when na una gangan be d Head-of-jazz. Did i hear u say "disown"? If u disown them, who go own u? U better stay put with una ijebu-union.
DeleteWhy will they reason like that, when na una gangan be d Head-of-jazz. Did i hear u say "disown"? If u disown them, who go own u? U better stay put with una ijebu-union.
DeleteLol
DeleteE pain u?
Pele o
Omo Ekiti kete, Ekiti parapo....
EKiti Ekiti
If I disown my pple, a whole lot will take me...
My family is vast... From Epe in Lagos to Ilaje in Ondo, na we get water... I am Ijebu and I am proud!
U feel say we be head of jazz, den u neva travel far.
If Ishan man or Hausa man nack u jazz ehn, u go know say Ijebu be learner...
*Singing*
Orisa Ijebu eEeee
Orisa Ijebu wa gbe wa n'ija o
Nigeria le
Orisa Ijebu wa gbe wa n'ija ooooo
My fiance's aunt once told me that bullcrap abt ijebu's being fetish...
DeleteAnd that they do not marry ijebu in their family? And I said 'no wonder'?
She was like no wonder what?
And I was like no wonder una never hammer big time
She got pissed and reported me to every family member and I faced almighty 'Oyo' panel...
*singing*
Kekere Ijebu ooooo
Owo ni! Owo ni!
Agba Ijebu ooooo
Owo ni! Owo ni!
Thank you Stella and all other blog visitors for your kind words. But pls, let us all stop this tribal war amongst ourselves. It is well with Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteBut come to think of it, why is ijebu synonymous wit juju? When no be say na only una dey do juju for africa. Maybe una own be grade "A", abi wetin fit cause the scare from ur guy's family on top ordinary marriage. No be small tin o
DeleteSet your leg to run if you don't see any improvement in your relationship. But if he really wants you, he'll sort it out with his parents.
DeleteDon't bother yourself. Just know when to walk.
My bf's mum used to complain about my state of origin, he had even told me that she's afraid of people from my place because of the same nonsense reason of they keep their husbands away from family(hiss).
Anyway we aren't married yet but there's a mutual respect now, she's no longer cold I think she's even making efforts to be nice.
All this happened because? He has put her in place
My parents have been married for more than 30years and the family has still not accepted her because she is Oyo and he is Ogun. They went diabolical ant to make matters worse, my parents don't have a son.
ReplyDeletePoster, I am not married but I saw the way it was in my family while i was growing up and i swore never to marry a man whose family will not accept me, even if its just his sister, i will run.
my mum said my grandmother never had issues with her but my cousins were her problem and because she's an outsider (ogun-yoruba, oyo-yoruba), they made her life hell. in fact, they still wanna continue making her marriage unbearable if they have he chance.
Except you have prayed hard and recieved this strong conviction,RUN. run for your life, for your peace of mind, i dont pray any girl goes through what my mom went through
Mamie you are so fucking irritating and a bloody cheap arse liar....
ReplyDeleteOne panadol for you
DeleteMamie cheap liar
ReplyDeletePoster it is everywhere in igboland Anambra people are the worse. My boyfriend is from Anambra and an only son for that matter and I am Imo. I am threading softly because of it. Your peace of mind should be considered first.
ReplyDeleteWhen my own was getting married same stories came up but she insisted,today all those things my mum was scared of has happen. Sometimes we should listen to our parents o because , "what an adult sits down and see, a child may climb an Iroko tree but can't see. Nne am sure that your own family won't even want u to marry him so,think about if, if u are convinced that you love him and you are ready to take the consequence,go ahead but i will advice you to relax and watch or take the other option.
ReplyDeleteWhen my own was getting married same stories came up but she insisted,today all those things my mum was scared of has happen. Sometimes we should listen to our parents o because , "what an adult sits down and see, a child may climb an Iroko tree but can't see. Nne am sure that your own family won't even want u to marry him so,think about if, if u are convinced that you love him and you are ready to take the consequence,go ahead but i will advice you to relax and watch or take the other option.
ReplyDeleteWhen my own was getting married same stories came up but she insisted,today all those things my mum was scared of has happen. Sometimes we should listen to our parents o because , "what an adult sits down and see, a child may climb an Iroko tree but can't see. Nne am sure that your own family won't even want u to marry him so,think about if, if u are convinced that you love him and you are ready to take the consequence,go ahead but i will advice you to relax and watch or take the other option.
ReplyDeletePoster, u sound lik one who has a relationship with God; therefore, if u r convinced dt ur man is d real deal then persist on ur kneels(pray) concerning ur in laws. Until When it is settled, do not go ahead2marry. I say again: persist on ur kneels cos there s notin God can't do nd d hrt of a king is in God's hands, hw much more ur in-laws.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o. Everybody telling you to Run. Well I dnt believe in running in d face of any challenge. I plan strategic to overcome it. My MIL didn't like me wen I was dating my hubby. I saw it as challenge and I overcame. How? I started going out of my way to be nice to them. I buy gift @ every opportunity to give d family. Before I knew it, all of dem start changing dir opinion. Its even my MIL dat hurried my hubby to get married. Life is full of challenges. Wat if u get married to someone frm ur state and the family doesn't like you for no reason @ all. It happens. Just make up ur mind and leave everything to God.
ReplyDeleteEkiti men dat can chase anytyn wid p****,they hardly take care of their wives.always wanting 2 taste anoda man's wife.Hu will marry dem sef,poster u try sef 2 date him.mtscheww!
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it I am from Ekiti and my dad's people have never really liked my mum who is from Osun.they wanted him to marry from Ekiti.
ReplyDeleteThis same my mum has warned me not to marry Ibo,any where in Ogun state and funniest of all from Ado Ekiti.Are you loling at that last part,that my village in Ekiti oh do not marry from Ado cos something bad always happens to the wife and the marriage never lasts.
Hmmm I am from Ogun, Abeokuta and a lady . every time I get serious with a guy and meet his parent I hear that shit Hian she is from Ogun they do jazz blah blah. Anyway I managed to see one guy that doesn't know shit about Ogun or jazz and we got married and yes you guessed right. He is oyinbo lol
ReplyDeletePoster run now that you still have legs what am I saying Flee
Lol
DeleteThis is a result of what Ogun people most especially ijebu people do. The women marry into a family and scatter the family not minding the fact that the guy and his family have been together since. Men that are not from their place should not dare to marry them because you Ijebus are wicked and would cut the guy away from his family
ReplyDeleteIdiote! Tribalistic biggot!
DeleteMy frnd in 4rm ile oluji Ondo state and husband 4rm Ondo town,her mother wasn't happy she got preggie 4 a guy 4rm Ondo twn cz she said Ondo Town men love ladies 2much and wld cheat on her.........poster pls follow ur hrt,it won't make sense marryin sum1 u dnt luv but his family acpts u....
ReplyDeleteDear poster? Did u guys later got married?
ReplyDelete