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What would you term as Social media cheating and when should one start taking the signs serious?
Blog visitor has a spouse whos cheating via the social media and has sent in a mail asking you to discuss this if you know anything about it.
''I have a question to pose to your readers. Is it acceptable for my fiance(dating for 4 years and engaged for 2) to send out his number indiscriminately to women on badoo? I mean he was pretty much begging them to chat, text or call. He even sent out flirty messages like "beautifully and bountifully endowed, sup wit u" as if to garner favour in the sight of some random, strange babe.
When I confronted him, he said if I treated him better he wouldn't do it. I mean chatting with 2 or 3 women might be because you are looking for attention and care but to over 20 women? I'm convinced he has a problem and is well on his way to HIV and friends.
I've already decided to end the relationship but I would like us to start a conversation about the influence of social media on relationships and what people consider as cheating on social media.
Thanks Stella''
My dear please run as fast as u can, that man is pervert and i can bet he sleeps with prostitutes as well. U dont need a lifetime headache living with such a man.
ReplyDeletePoster you are a big olodo
ReplyDeleteYou have been engaged for 2 years
Are you the ring keeper or lord of the ring?
Your bf is not serious and you better call off the relationship before you will be engaged for eternity.
For the record, cheating is cheating whether physically or media.
If you can think it, then you can act it.
CeeCee
Absolutely ! I don't see what the difference between cheating on media sites or physically is. It only takes a second or two to exchange mobile numbers and bbm pins and then bring it all to reality. The fact that most people who engage in these activities have the same motive even makes it all the more easier and faster. Immorality at its peak!
DeleteD only good thing about dis ur story poster, is that u 've decided to dump him & move on. Cheating is cheating despite how it happened, u should even be thankful to God for exposing him on time. Look my dear, there's a better person out there 4 u. In his words 'u don't treat him right' but d truth is 'a pig 'll remain a pig, no matter how u treat him'. If ur speed level is 60mph, increase it to 100mph, run for ur life, he isn't worth it.
DeleteLol! Your comment is so funny.
DeleteFirst of all, if your fiance is on badoo then you are on a very long thing. Badoo is for easy pick up of ashewos. He has been sleeping with them. Secondly, how can he say it's because you're not doing enough? That's emotional abuse! Una never marry and he's already making you feel you're not treating him like a king therefore its ok to cheat. When he now marries you nko what will he tell you or do? My deaf warn yourself o. Give yourself brain. He's a bad man. That he's sleeping with badoo girls is not even what bothers me. Its the fact that he's not remorseful and he's so disrespectful that he outrightly told you it's your fault that he's cheating. Warn yourself. Warn yourself o my sister.
ReplyDeletespot on, that site is for very irresponsible set of people.
DeletePoster, pls move on biko.
The stigma against unmarried ladies around here is crazy, hence sticking to a dead relationship hoping it works.
Badooooooooo! Baddest sight ever. He s a bloody cheat and he s soon gonna fuck those chat-mates brains out soon...*physically ofcz* ..
ReplyDelete****Site****
Delete*site*
DeleteSite
DeleteOkay! Bitches.
DeleteIts cheating<3<3 dear dnt accept it
ReplyDeleteMy dear Social media has caused more harm than good,i dated one guy n I always saw him on dat badoo link so I was curious n I opened wiv a fake name n used some cute gals pic, i searched n I found my boyfriend so I decided to chat up wiv him, my dear there n there I got heart broken,he sd he was single n was ready for intimate relationship n I shud send my pin so I cud send him sexy pix n alll......i was weak! I dumped him immediately, life is jst too short for me to engage myself wiv such looser...till date he kips asking if he did wrong? I jst told him dat i never ever wnt to set my on him,he calls n sends msgs I ignore them.....so mk ur decision now or bear d consequences.
ReplyDeleteBLOG ANALYSER: wow! Really?
DeleteLolll. U sef @anon 10:50, finally when a woman turns UNDERCOVER FBI in ha relationship, u know tinx av spoil. Bc we wont stop digging- till we see what's bigger than our eyes. Cheating is cheating finally, I so love d fact dat ma husband sucks @ social network. Make we dey deal with d physical witches, dose online 1s re sumtyn else.
DeleteMy boo suckz at social media too but he is d baddest in hiding his infidelity.i kip diggin and kip seeing.buh guess wat am not leavin him cos he nva givz mii d reason to leav and respectz mii
DeleteGirls pls stop digging. Mrs O
DeleteNo it is not acceptable. Which responsible man does that? Sha get ready to start visiting the hospital with different kinds of STDs or leave him to keep 'badooing' his numerous acquaintances-to-be.
ReplyDeleteSdk u r vexing dis morning oh
ReplyDeleteEngage for 2yrs, are u Lord of d ring?
ReplyDeleteHahahahaaha@Lord of the rings
DeletePatt Patt..Your friend Evey E don leave you oooh...lolzzzzz
DeleteLol @ patt you took the words outta my mouth. Any engagement beyond 6months is no engagement!
DeleteLol @ patt you took the words outta my mouth. Any engagement beyond 6months is no engagement!
DeleteI understand why u only make short sentences. My dear keep practicing and don't let anyone discourage you. Practise makes perfect.
DeleteA man who goes on social media wooing other women when he has a wife or fiancée is a shameless cheat and most likely an unrepentant one.
ReplyDeletesocial media randy dogs!
it starts from social media then to his apartment,my dear you guys should talk things out then if he continues..RUN bcos a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.#DOVE
ReplyDeleteThat's why I hate meeting guys via Facebook,and all other social medium,even if I must meet u,i have to know u before or someone that knows u,a guy that meet a girl thru social medium,will still go back to chase other girls
ReplyDeleteMscheeeeeeeewwww. Every silly question dem do ask for blog. Why u no kukuma ask stella whether u fit use water or tissue paper after u go toilet. U know what to do. U are the one in charge of your love life. If u want to stay, do. Nkea gbasara gi
ReplyDeleteWhy not just read and overlook ehn! Must you spill every BS that pops into your head. Tufia! Its her biz to ask the most stupid ?s if she needs to understand something and its your job to either comment reasonably or just close the page
DeleteIhuoma, na wa for you! You have eyes, yet you can not see, internet service, yet you chose not to read.. How person wan take do your matter? You just carried your big head and mouth to just start saying crap.. She's not asking for any advice. She only wants stella to use the topic as a point of discussion.
DeleteIf you like don't read this one again... Anuofia gambari
This really got me! As I keep wondering if my hubhy is faithful or not. Bn married 6nyrs wt no problems of infidelity, bt one nyt I had dis urge to look thru his fone . And wat did I see? Hez toasting 3 babes on naijapals, dropped his 2 fone numbers on anoda site and was begging d girl to call him, since she wouldn't give him her number......i was shocked...confronted him d next day and he says he was only playing, jus wanted to see hw cheap the girls are....and since then I withdrew d trust and confidence I had in him.
ReplyDeleteNa u wan give urself HBP
DeleteOh dear!!
DeleteThis is extremely unacceptable!
And of course since he says he was playing,you can't do much about it.
My advice,secure your future and that of your kids by working and saving..anything can happen.
Any property or business should have your names on it my dear to avoid stories that touch!
To the poster,honey! Moveeeee on
You don't need us to tell you what to do...if you still want to face your fears..you can go FBI on him like the Anony here...
But I don't think you should even bother!i wish you all the best
IMO,cheating via social network is as good as cheating in real life..it usually starts with dropping numbers online!
Spot on@ secure your future and your children because anything can happen!
DeleteHello poster, cheating doesn't have to always be physical. The minute a man starts thinking of someone else while he's with you, he has cheated and if it continues and he gets to be in the same place with the girl(s), they might have sex.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that sometimes we don't actually start these conversations with the intention of cheating, sometimes we are bored and then you start chatting and you realize this person Is fun and before you know it you start flirting and when you meet, it gets physical.
It happens even with our colleagues at work, schoolmates and people we come in contact with everytime. We just need to learn to guard our hearts so that we don't begin to fall for these people especially when we are in relationships with others.or better still when you've noticed you've started to like this other person, let there be space between you guys until the infantuation runs its course.
Right
DeleteCheating is cheating.. This guy has no serious plans for you whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteEngagement is when a man proposes to marry a woman in few months, not when he puts a ring on her finger and scares other men away for the next 2years... That is witchcraft!
ReplyDeleteSalt
Lmao @ witchcraft
Delete@Anon 10:50am,stop beating round d bush.The guy already slept with U.Simple!!
ReplyDeleteMy dear , sometimes I wish I could shut down that bloody website called badoo. It is the worst invention of all time. U can't believe justhow much that site has done to enable promiscuity esp in naija. Anyone whose wife /girlfriend or husband/boyfriend is on badoo is in Big trouble. You dont need a soothsayer to tell u that person is cheating !!! There's no other reason for being there but sex , sex and more sex.
ReplyDeleteU guys shuld ask d girl first did he pay for ur secondary sch till university level us he feeding ur parents/siblings while he was paying if he did una get any agreement say he go marry u if no u better run (lol)he go frustrate u for marriage,some girls sha SMH
ReplyDeleteCheating is cheating...coz on social media dey all claim single! and even if fry don't claim single, girls wld still run after dem..YES! some girls r possessed like dat! It's good u end d relationship...if ur spouse don't treat u like u r special den...make only u waka go! for u original designer bags add me on bbm on 2B280882. Thanks
ReplyDeleteSocial media and all its issues...my hubby and I av always been transparent even as at friendship level...
ReplyDeleteHe signed all his 3 emails to my phone even tho I only signed one of my three emails to his phone (I hardly use d rest).
I have d password to all his social media acct...even his bank accounts and online banking are all signed to my email.
Ppl talk abt snooping...my husband neva checks my phone bt he always let me check his cos he feels it makes me happy..lol ( am just interested in aw he converses wt his friends)...
I think ppl shld just learn to b open...relationships n marriages shld b built on trust...y marry someone wen uv stl got ur eyes outside? ...
Poster...pls leave him if he is nt ready to commit to u...no wasting time
Na those kain men dangerous pass o.. Lol. But anyway, I'm happy for you. God bless your marriage.
DeleteA million likes
DeleteI know someone like your husband who has other secret accounts and even another secret cell phone. The only good thing is when a man goes to that lenght, he values you. Or is a psychopath.
DeleteIt feels like normal cheating or even worse.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts so bad...
This Badoo has destroyed so many relationships/marriage.
DH is too busy on his games to chit chat online.
I'm so lucky,even tho I'm not too sure cos I haven't got his password.
Not even interested.
Who wants HBP shld go on prying
You may not want HBP but I guess you want the dreaded virus. All of you saying is wrong to check hubby's phone are talking rubbish. Unless you guys are no longer having sex or you are using a condom every time you do it. Develop a thick skin and look into his phones once in a while not to pick quarrels but at least to know whats up. Don't just sit there claiming you want peace of mind & then one day hubby and mistress uses you as tomato jos to prepare stew.
DeleteBreezy
Men will never cease to amaze me!!!
ReplyDeleteCheating via social media aint right at all.. A man who does that even when he is in a relationship doesn't look responsible in that aspect..how can u say ur woman doesn't do u well and cos of that he now has to cheat on you via social media;talkmore of baddo,and u two aint even married yet?? Hhmm;poster u beta find ur way oo unless u ve the mind to habour a future cheating husband..men self eehh!!
ReplyDeleteLord of the ring...
ReplyDelete.
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
its even worse when you are married,if you get angry or react,you might end up causing a fight.if you call the ladies involved, they will tell you to first stop your husband from talking to them!to even think that,most of these ladies are either married of engaged.please run now before its too late..I am experiencing it already in my marriage and I cant run but am most times sad and depressed.its very bad when you have got no child in the marriage and your husband is only around on weekends but always pressing phone and charting even while you are discussing pressing family issues when he is in the house..God help us women!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know anything about badoo, but any guy on social media chasing women up and down is up to no good. You better kick him to the curb, and what kind of statement is that? Does he want you to worship and kiss the ground he walks on? Honey, you are doing him a favor by putting up with this nonsense and engagement of two years, gurl you better run. Unless you are a spring chicken, you can continue to stay with him.
ReplyDeleteWomen nd blindness sef!!
ReplyDeleteU better throway d idiot nd move fast!!
Abi d prik still dey sweet u??
Smtcheeeeeeeeeeew!!!
OKIJA WIFE
Lol at anony 10.59am, your husband can lie for Africa, he was trying to know if the girls are cheap so that what will happen? If you believe that line then you will believe anything oh my dear.
ReplyDeleteI am married to a man that has a social media craze. I have caught him on Facebook. Now it's WhatsApp. Then Skype. I am ashamed of him and don't know how long I can continue in d marriage. I have pleaded and begged but nothing. Social media stuff doesn't help.i just drags him back. All sort of rubbish his girls use it as a medium to get moni from him cos he's a softie,easily manipulated. I am so unhappy
ReplyDeleteAny man that cheats on his woman physically or otherwise will reap wot he has sown.nobody goes scot free..there is God oooo
ReplyDeleteThis social media thingy is nt gud.ot destroys a lot of marriages. If u knw say u knw git handle d consequences stay far ooooo
ReplyDeleteMy dear, he is showing you the signs now so you better take him serious. If i wear you i won't go ahead with the marriage. Once they start messing with whores like that they won't stop. Don't make the mistake of thinking marriage will change him.
ReplyDeleteI wish men won't cheat.my husband has given me hell since day1.God will reward him abundantly in heaven. That is all I will say
ReplyDeleteNne you mean in hell.lol
Deletewith all due respect....have people stopped reading these days!?!?
ReplyDeleteThe poster has said that she has already left the guy!...she just wants to pick our brains and see what our opinions are on the matter.
Those of you abusing her need to start reading properly....then read again....and again...until you grasp what has been written!
Honestly !
DeleteReading comprehension is a good thing if you let it happen to you.
A million likes
DeleteLol @ Lord of rings....Lmfao
ReplyDeleteLol @ witchcraft
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, may God helps us all woman r suffering, am married and my hubby is addicted to social media we have quarrel over it many times but tired of quarreling now all I do now is pray for him. As for d poster once dey start messing wth whores now marriage can't change dem
ReplyDeleteHonestly, its good you discovered b4 u finally walked down d aisle with him. I'm in a similar situation, my case is worse cos we are already married and i was too naïve to notice before marriage. Pls take a walk now while you can.
ReplyDeleteAny woman dat have a monitary spirits in heart,can never build a peaceful home,so men run when ever you find one,,why will you marry some one you never trusted?or becos you wanted mrs somebody?
ReplyDeleteSome ladies never loved or trust there man but go ahead forcing,pushing an innocent man into marriage he never planned,a year later she started calling de man bad names,,he even told you ur furts nd u became angry,,he even gave u his words,while some ladies will write dat de man left without even a word,,b4 u inter in next relationship,use his words nd correct ur mistakes,else u will run out from it again,maybe wen u reach 40yrs plus u can find a 20yrs boy ur pikin to marry nd feed,house aswell
ReplyDeleteStella this your blog and hypocritical feminists who spew lies.
ReplyDelete1. Btw men and women who are more hooked to bbm,chatting and social media?
2. Who are more prone to posting pictures and seeking attention online?-women
3. Who then are the women (married and single) that the so called 'pigs', 'cheats' of men are chatting up and cheating with online?-it takes two to cheat
4. These women, married and single who exhibit so much attachment to their high end phones both at work and at home- who are they chatting with? Fellow women? Unless lesbians. If not, so who dey do the cheating pass? Colleagues? It's usually not cheating when a married woman keep chatting with colleagues but when it's the man chatting with female colleagues he is cheating.
Check through badoo. There are so many ladies with suggestive thumbnails of their pictures with profile that says-taken, open relationship, or they leave it blank but a close look tells you they are married. Some claim they just want a friend to 'chat'- helloooo!
And you are all hear making a mess of the menfolk. Not just badoo, several sites parading married or engaged women (you hardly find a single Naija babe without an adult relationship on the side yet they respond or are exposing themselves for new friendship).
My point- the poster is clear. She has made a decision. This is about creating room for debate to gain clarity on what people are doing. It is wrong that all the female comments here are focused on demonising the menfolk-men you still went ahead to marry and even if you drop, you are still stuck with choosing from the same population of men. Don't you have sons or brothers sdk women?
You all must learn that the problems you think you face with Nigerian men are problems created by your kind-Nigerian women! What you preach against is what you do against yourselves men. Also what you accuse the men of doing, you do worse but tag your fair. Why? A man may go all the hog....you probably stop half way but given a non disclosure guarantee (cos of the higher social stigma)some go all the way. It starts with you playing the harmless friend card. While a woman may take long getting cool with the online friend before it may happen, a man can do so in a day and get moving.
But know this- not all men are what you think!
Pele oooo,Doro Anonymous.Una go chop biscuit?Mtcheeew.Go sit down for inside gutter jo!
DeleteRemember to clap for yourself o,Mr Holy .
BADOO has to be to most evil site of timee!
ReplyDeleteSince the govt has chased them whores from hawking on the streets,now they have to hawk onlinee!any man or woman dat signs up to badoo should not be taken seriously,its full of whores,gays,lesbians and every category of sexual offenders and perverts,and all of them need deliverance!
@poster thank God u have taken off for ur life,btw a man dat will engage u for two yrs?ha!dat na one chance bus u enter'
Same here Anon,to even think that my hubby ask them for their private pix. And d whores send really nude pix to him. I now have BP cos I dnt know where to run to. He ask for their bb pins n phone no n meets wt them everywhere he travels to. And of course they discuss d price n all. I jst dnt know hw I got into d marriage. I pity my lovely kids,they dnt deserve a father like this. Planning my revenge tho
ReplyDeleteSALT is right o! These men that hold their GFs for so long, preventing them from being found by their true husbands, are WICKED. Witchcraft tinz!Women like this should open their eyes and run.
ReplyDeleteThere is no such thing as an engagement......we borrowed western culture.....i see u, i like u, u like me, we get to know each other, i ask you to marry me, you say yes, we meet the parents, set a date, yadiyadiyada....MR & MRS!! End of story!!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband was on the Badoo site. When I approached him he denied it and said show me. He also said he didn't know what he was signing up for and he had a low profile. I have a feeling he has already had sex with one of the girls.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was on the Badoo site. When I approached him he denied it and said show me. He also said he didn't know what he was signing up for and he had a low profile. I have a feeling he has already had sex with one of the girls.
ReplyDelete