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When a Marriage breaks down,why do some people aim for below the belt?
When one spouse decides to paint black the other one after years of sharing one bed....is this right?
When one cheats because the other is cheating serially,should it be used against ?
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you needed to call out an ex spouse but did?
Did you find yourself at a point where you needed to call out and disgrace your ex and you didnt?
WHEN ONE CHEATS COS THE OTHER IS CHEATING SERIALLY,WELL SOME PPEL MAY DO THAT SO THAT THEY WILL NOT SUFFER THE PAIN, THAT IS WHY THEY WILL GO OUT TO CHEAT, BUT I DON'T THINK ITS ADVISABLE, WHAT U NEED TO DO IS CALL IT A QUIT
ReplyDeletePeople cheat when their spouses cheat serially cos of the deep pain and humiliation they go through. After unsuccessfully trying to make their partner stop it, they may then decide to cheat so that their spouse can understand how it all feels
DeleteHmmmm. Scares d shit out of me. Marriage vows dis days are bin taken for granted. God help us to marry "d one" nd live forever after, Amen!
DeleteHmmmm...I think the problems start from the foundation on which marriages are built. It takes a lot of maturity, tolerance and patience to have a successful union. Bearing in mind that no one is perfect therefore no marriage is perfect. Most people go into marriage with very unrealistic expectations. I think one of the key things is to marry your friend......Checklist Before You Say I Do- click on my name to find out more.
DeleteSometimes its painful and to reduce d pain u want to lash out. Looking for how to punish my ex too
ReplyDeletePrivacy is paramount in r/ships n marriage cos wot u say now kud b used against u later. Ppl shud learn t stop washing dia dirty linen in public except its a life threatening situation then d person involved needs t b called out so dat oda ppl who wud want t have a r/ship wt d person wud tread wt caution.
ReplyDeletenever been in any of those situations nd Gods grace wont be no matter hw hard I m pushed.i think its a very wrong thing to do nd I feel a real man or a real nd strong woman wont do such just to get sympathy or attract crowd to themselves
ReplyDeleteThe thing is when you are married to a matured man,they will respect u forever whether the marriage worked or Not,also a God fearing man won't be disrespectful,matured men in character are the best people to marry, na Tchidi type if Sophia get naked pics that he had, he can display it online yes he can do it
ReplyDeleteI hate mudslinging. I hate 2 create a scene 4 any reason whatsoever. I guess we r all different in d way we think n act. It is very bad dat when a relationship goes sour pple forget d good days they had 2gether. D key thing here is maturity n it has nothing 2 do wit age.
ReplyDelete.............
ReplyDeleteStella,life is so unfair especially to good people.
ReplyDeleteI don't always act like miss goody goody two shoes cos I knw it doesn't pay.
DH knows any ef up from his end wld land him a serious backlash.
So I can't relate with this
Arindin
DeleteLol@arindin
DeleteI am not the one involved, but I have a cousin whose ex was dating his friend. At the time, my cousin' friend was separated from his wife. This adulterous woman called my cousin's ex wanted to use the opportunity to marry his friend, because he was in a medical specialty that pays more. She eventually filed for divorce. Towards the end of the divorce, my couin's friend ran back to his separated wife. My cousin's ex became stranded and wanted to stop the divorce she filed. At this point my cousin had decided that enough was enough. He continued with the divorce. The woman ran to the Redeem Church pretending to be holy, telling all sort of lies against my cousin. Today the members of that church hate my cousin and pray for his downfall, if not death. My cousin has decided to keep quiet because of his daughters. He does not want them to be known as the children of an adulterer. He is remarried now and happy. I think keeping quiet makes the quiet party a monster. Rose
ReplyDeleteI have read the story of this your beloved cousin how many times..... Stop behaving like he is a saint..... Men cheat and when their wives do it they start crying wolf.... He keeps quiet doesn't mean innocent and I really doubt if the church members don't have better things to pray for than pray for your cousin to die....rubbish talk
DeleteI think It happens to anyone that has been in a relationship that ended badly. you always have that urge to speak but its only Maturity and grace of God keeps you. No matter how far you are pushed, The best answer to a mad man is still silence.. its golden.
ReplyDeleteCheck out my blog
http://moabnigeria.blogspot.com
It's a pity what's happening b/w Tchidi and Sophia. It's always difficult when a marriage breaks down, especially when there was once love b/w the couple.
ReplyDeleteThere's always bitterness, accusations, counter-accusations, and it takes a lot of self-will and discipline to keep mute in the face of all this.
I don't blame anyone in this position, cos I don't know what they must be going though. It's easy to point the finger and castigate them for washing their private things in public, but no one knows how they'll react when faced with these things.
Just be grateful you're not in those shoes, for there but for the grace of God, could be any of us!
I believe if a marriage isn't working, both parties should go their seperate ways maturedly. Especially when kids are involved.
ReplyDeleteSit down, talk about your seperation/divorce/proceeds, the upkeep of the kids if any, and then walk quietly away in opposite directions.
Its more respectful ...for yourselves and family.
An eye for an eye does more harm than good.
Whose voice is louder via Fb/twitter/blog only reduces you both to a nuisance value
BLOG ANALYSER: abt to get married, so I will seat,relax and read the commments. However, with an ex boyfriend wen we ended the relationship he became vindictive. Thank God my God fought for me.
ReplyDeleteWhen there 're kids espclly. There 're needs to respect u'reselves, d reason of u're breakup shld be between u 2, cos those kids 'll bond u 2 for life though seperated.
ReplyDeleteIt's always like that Stella,cos it's a very thin line btw love and hate!so let's hope for the best cos evryone has that tendency out of pain,bitterness and d newly acquired hatred'.
ReplyDeleteWen it cme to issues lyk dis, Ezewanyi knows best.
ReplyDeleteThis post centered on When A MARRIAGE BREAKS DOWN using Tchidi Nollywood Plc imo state. To achieve the objectives of the post, eight hypothesis(tweets) were formulated which serves as a base for formulating and administering some questionnaire on the area of Post. The eight tweets were tested & analyzed by sdk&sdkers and the outcome of the research revealed that Tchidi's infidelity, childishness, wickedness et al has created versality on Blogs. Based on the findings, i arrived at some conclusion that it is always good for one to marry someone who has the fear of God, mature, reserved etc and sdkers are hereby advised to profer SOLUTION to his madness.
ReplyDelete@i_ChoPtas_Not
Nice one
DeleteYou self na kolo
DeleteI saw a post the other day that says " when your in Love being faithful is joy" With the level of selfishness in our society how many people marry for love.Love is the true foundation for a rock solid marriage. Even if you try to glue yourselves together by force,one day it wld all fall apart, not even five sons wld keep you together. That is when a couple become enemies, they become strangers ,they can even fight on the streets shamelessly. To our singles here, you have the time now to make the right choice.I would advice tht you discover yourself first before falling into the hands of a man. Be sure tht you marry a man your drunk in love with and vice versa because relationship isnt marriage. This a life time commitment ,choose your partners carefully, there shld be no rush....Mrs D
DeleteGood topic Aunty Stella! Ur hubby is cheating doesnt give u the yardstick to cheat!thats not enough reason for a woman to cheat!work out of the marriage instead. U don't pay evil with evil....and we shouldn't forget in this part of the world,it's a man's world,accept it or not,that is what it is!
ReplyDeleteShut your mouth diamond, but if a woman does anything wrong the husband has a liscence to cheat abi? There is nothin like man world, marriage is for both parties to be faithfull.... If you cheat serially and your wife cheats out of fustration then u have no right to make noise......if u want fidelity from your spouse then be committed to be faithful..... Men do not have any heavenly permission to cheat..
DeleteOde!didnt u see where I wrote"walk out of the marriage instead"?keep fucking around till u are caught...akunakuna!
DeleteOnce children are involved we must be very very careful. This children will grow up one day. And have you thought of their school mates? In Chidi's case Nuella put him up to this. Remember men are babies.
ReplyDeleteHow come he had all the side chicks in his life and it was only Nuella tht cld put him up to this. Tchidi is a man and made his decision. Na wa for una oo.
DeleteStella of life, u should also do a post on married actresses who cheat and later pose like they have d best marriage in town.
ReplyDeleteMake no one ur role model
I think is a very childish act. I broke up with my ex hubby and he's going around telling lies and stories dat aren't true abt me and i kept mute. Now his family are seriously begging my family and everybody was impressed that i kept quiet. D question is if she's dat bad likee u told d world, y do u want her back?????
ReplyDeleteSince I found out that my partner cheated and keep cheating, as a mum of two have been having flings to. I can't wait to see my new catch tomorrow after I dropped the kids at school. My stupid partner irritates me like shit. Sex with him is just blah
ReplyDeleteU're heading for total destruction if u don't stop now, men 're known cheats, no need to compete with them, save u're dignity b/4 it's 2 late.
DeleteMadam were u born the same day with ur hubby or did u both pass through same vagina. Better learn how to respect urself n build a better home for ur kids n urself. Do not compete with him, love him no matter his flaws n most especially accept Jesus in ur life, I pray tnz work out for u.
DeleteIt doesn't matter so far she play save and smart.
DeleteIt's a pity! I feel so bad for some women.....Ashewo don dey ur blood since and not because ur hubby is cheating!Keep fucking till u are caught!
DeletePls carry on...men dont have monopoly on cheating. What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.
DeleteHope youbare prepared for the marriage to end though cuz men dont forgive but they expect tobe forgiven?
Bia Stella, which kind 'gbagaun' full this your post?
ReplyDeleteJust lyk T-Chikere..∂ man is without balls! I said it!!! No sane man wld do what hez doing nw calling Sophia out! I pity him,cos a day of reckoning is coming. Shebi he rejected his boys? What did those innocent children do to him to deserve dis kind of stigma? God is not man!! Daalu nuo
ReplyDeleteI feel that as man and wife who have shared a common thing together regardless of how many years and regardless of why and how it did not work out..couples should learn to keep thier secrets and not burst it out to the world! It's fine to move on if that's the case but @ least for sake of the children please be matured about it...when the kids grow up you can explain to them what happened! any man that talks I'll about his wife to me is just an imatured goat and is likely to talk ill* about the second! Women are weaker vessels by nature, however let's try as much as we can to make our home work!..God help us
ReplyDeletegbagaun corrected..make una no vexs i fell alseep whilst typing and the sleep clicked post..hehehhhehehe.
ReplyDeletesorry about that
Stella, make me your editor and I promise you the end of gbagaunz in your life permanently. # I love Nija
DeleteYou cracked me up @ sleep clicked post. Hahaha! Your sense of humor is out of this world and I love you # I love Naija
DeletePeople should go their separate ways in peace abeg. Chidi should have seriously come out and cautioned that stupid Nuella with that press release she did. She had no right to after marriage rub it in Sophia's face. That is what started all this and people should not forget. Nuella out of guilty conscience which no body asked her, made a press release. She should know her boundary and should never have crossed it. She got the man, that was her life mission. So what the hell was she getting from that stupid press release. No matter how hard it is, Sophia got into the roforofo fight. The thing is if you roll in dirt with a pig, you become a pig. You give the pig a chance to think it is your equal. It would have been hard for me to keep quiet as well. But sometimes, silence is the best answer for fools. Especially when there is so much evidence about them being in an adulterous relationship since 2010. As for Chidi, for a man. I know he was trying to protect his new wife, at the expense of what? His kids? His image? Being seen as a big fool and less than a man? He should not have gotten involved, and should have cautioned Nuella to respect his ex and mother of his kids. While Sophia should move on and ignore the new wife. He should have done this in private. They know what they did was bad. That is why the two fools have been throwing shit up and down the web. I am pissed.
ReplyDeleteI believe marriage is forever..nothing like divorce.no marriage is perfect. There must be problems but its d ability to solve it amicably that matters.men and women cheat but men do it alot..but nevertheless if a man cheats, d wife shouldn't follow suit cos 2 wrong don't make a right. If he cheats n u confront him and yet refuses to change leave him.show him more love n affection.if deres kids channel love towards them . don't fight or quarrel with him ova dat.d greatest mistake we make do is to confront d bitch . pretend like u don't know but in d mist of ds hold on to God.u will see one dat scale will fall off from his eyes.and he would live with dat mistake all his life whereas d woman will now have a upper hand in d relationship
ReplyDeleteAdaora
Well said. But to be quite honest, it usually nvr works. U r human n blood is flowing tru ur veins. And women r even moreeee emotionally designed so u must act out. Or be hurtin inside n end up getting soooo depressed...n we all knw dt depression is d mother of all sickness n diseases. So lets be realistic n help ourselves.. if u thnk cheating wil help u. Ok o. If u feel prayers wil help ,ok o ,but if u thnk ignoring will help dts a big lie. But if u can leave..pls take a bow . Even tho its for bettr fr worse . If put in d situation I wil find dt whch makes me smile. Cos trust me wen ur spouse cheats evrytin mkes u sad.
DeleteNa only you don make sense for here...all d nitwits talking bout prayer when ur hubby is cheating don't know how far? It's difficult to keep loving who hurts u. And women shld find peace where ever!
DeleteWhen I discovered that he was cheating, I was so depressed and it really tells on me and the children but now I cheats whenever I feel like too and it makes me feel good. Secretly I laugh at my partner because my own is even worse than his own because now I'm dating more than 4 guys, though I don't give out sex anyhow except to the highest bidder. I love my life, I can't wait for my last born to finish 3 hours nursery and start full time. Then I will have enough time to see my sweet modafuckers outside.
DeleteShow him more love for what? That's like rewarsing bad behavior. Are you for real?
DeletePls women raise your girls to have self esteem. Noone is doing you a favor by attaching mrs to your name
Self esteem by fucking around when married abi?why don't u walk out of the marriage instead?
DeleteAdaora, if your spouse is a serial cheat...get a backbone and do something about it. It is this type of thing that gives men entitlement to keep acting like dogs. What is show him more love, please especially if you have daughters, you do not stand for a man disrespecting you. There is no award anywhere and no it will not make him come back to you. That's how you people catch all sorts of rubbish that you are turning a blind eye, or endanger these kids and put them in the line of fire with some psycho mistress. If your husband will not stop cheating, you better safeguard yourself and your kids. Women are into strange things these days. The person that will want to eliminate you and your seed or just your seed to get you out of the picture is not a stranger, it is that woman that your rabid husband will not stop deceiving. Naija women better be warned and stop being stupid.
ReplyDeleteThat is why you assess the type of spouse you marry, if you marry one with a big mouth...this is what you get. If you marry one that is childish, this is what you get. A "man" that can not just move on in peace is really not a man. Plus who says Nuella put him up to this, yet again, you all sit and blame someone else for the immature attitude of a fully grown man wey senior Nuella. The man is 100% responsible for his actions abeg. If Nuella said he should do it and he did, he is a bigger buffoon. As irresponsible as Nuella is, I look to Chidi to get a grip and respect his kids.
ReplyDeleteSo ladies, know the type of man you have or bf. If he is quick to paste all your business on fb when a fight comes or he is quick to discuss with all and sundry, be on the look out! If kasala should burst, he will wash you in public.
To b candid, I'm rily scared of marriage. Dnt wnt to end up makin mistakes. Rily confused ryt nw. May G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ help ♍ƺ.
ReplyDeleteOluwaBlesyn
My dear I don't blame u! Bin married for 9yrs now n I want out so badly cos all I've bin doing is enduring living wit a serial cheat that I gave 3lovely boys! Marriage in naija is over rated!
DeleteTwo captains can never be a fools some time,,and is only those who has never been inlove with the wronge lover will blame any man or woman who wanted to move forward with his life,,alots of pains are involves
ReplyDeleteThis marriage of a thing,some times you give your all but all you got is pain and betrayals
ReplyDelete