Do stingy men make good husband's?should we judge a man based on what he gives his woman?isnt this the reason every woman should empower themselves financially?
read what Shavonne our American blog visitor says.....
''Guten Morgan Stella,how are you and your family?please I need your advice. I read and comment on your blog everyday.
My name is Shavonne my guy and i live in the U.S but in different states,hes in his early 40s while am in my mid 20s, I work and at the same time doing my 2nd degree and he's also trying to get his Phd.
We plan on settling down next year,I love him because when ever I get mad he cools me down. he has all the quality every lady will want in their dream man that is one of the reasons why I accepted him but the problem is I think he's a stingy man!!!
Reasons- since I have my money,i work and I don't pay no bills because I live in the family house,i don't ask him for money.
this year Valentine he didn't send me no gift.
two months ago I asked him to order my body cream for me he pretended as if he didn't hear,after about one week I asked him about the cream again before he bought it for me.
I told him I needed to change my Car and that he should help me with anything he has,he said he has no money.
He said he wanted to see me and wants me to visit,i told him to book my flight,he then said I should book with my money that when I get to Miami that he's gonna give me back my money,my response to him was that the Money I have is for my car and I don't want to touch it,then I ended the call..
Since then I have refused to take his calls or reply his messages...can I marry such a guy? I am so scared..please blog visitors am i over reacting or is the hand writing on the wall clear?
Please advice me.
Thank you''.
Com 2 9ja
ReplyDeleteBuhahaha!
DeletePatt see as u dey wash naija guys like fish.
OMG i hate stingy men!
@ poster, men hate to be called stingy.
Tell ur BF e is a stingy man
N lets c weda e wld change.
LMAO!
DeleteOne of d worst things you can do is to date talk more of marry a stingy man. Heck! U'll regret it.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is so stingy dat I can't say or even no wot to do. He wnt gv u money for anything, keeps telling me stories. Can't change me car dat I have used for almost 8yrs. His own sounds like a moving train. I manage my civil servants salary wit 2kids. I don't advice anyone to marry a stingy man.
DeleteStingy men r d same all over!Run for your life gal!D one I dated was similar to dis..he wld come t my house..eat my food and nvr gave me anything..I had to insult his shameless life b4 he bought me a Fan!D cheapskate dat he is...a man who luvs u wld provide 4 u wtout being asked.Men r not fools...hwevr they only fool u if u don't widen up.
DeleteMaybe it's d way he was brought up,u cd try to talk to him abt it. N if u live him n can ignore then by all means do,n be happy wit oda tins,buh I doubt a man dat won't share his money wit u can share oda tins. Or maybe he nor get
ReplyDeleteDazall
And this makes him stingy?
ReplyDeleteSo if this dose not make him stingy what will then? Am sure you are just like the poster's boyfriend stingy person.
DeleteD hand writing is written on d wall,move sharp sharp.
ReplyDeleteGirl that guy is stingy yu had beta run faster dan u.bolt out of there,i hate it when men always tink dey are veri smart,and i was jus gistn wit my girls nw abt men dat wld invite you 2 anoda state and tell yu 2 use yur money 1st,geez i feel like phuking right nw,no time 2 pity any man agn.una own don 2much i swear
ReplyDeleteBy 'phuking',did u mean 'fucking' or 'puking' ?
DeleteUr a fool.gold digger
DeleteSee dis one. If not ur smelly pussy can u tell me wat gift u hv given to a guy. Or u think in ur little brain dat its only in d guy's place to gv. Woman was made as a helper to man but no,naija woman no wan help only to consume. Tufiakwa!. I'm not anonymous. My name na Thunder and e go fire u.
DeleteI don't think just these two instances is enough to conclude that he is stingy. Maybe he actually doesn't hv money at d moment, you didn't state Wat he does for a living so we can't knw Wat he can afford.
ReplyDeleteI think you are over reacting. Pick his call and continue with him then one day you address this issue and let him knw how u feel.
Ar u sure he's stingy?som men learnt deir lessons in d hard way due 2 a previous relatnship which recked dem so decidd dat until de gt married de wunt spnd on a girl,its nt deir fault o,but babe car????hmmmm,guyz don sharp nw o,a guy wil hardly do dat until after marriage o,as 4 d flight issue dats hw I nd my boyf agree wen I wan2 go see him I use my money nd wen I gt dere he replaces it sharp,he's alwayz lazy 2 go 2 d bank 2 pay in,plz if he's nice as u said dnt leav him o,4gt dese ppple dat ar sayin u shud leav if de were in ur shoes de wud beg 2 stay,
DeleteMature comment Nelly cos that's what I just feel she shld do. God bless
DeleteTHe hand writing is clear, no matter how financially ok a woman is, her man should be able to provide for her, this man is not only Stingy but shameless also for asking u to come see him with your money without any plans of a refund, and still having the guts to ignore your calls because of the answer you gave him which is very correct, a man that loves a woman takes delight in spending on her, he musnt have it all to be able to spend, from the little he has he can spend, if a woman decides to take care of her self that doesn't mean the man should relax totally and get angry the few times she makes demand.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've noticed about Nigerian girls in the diaspora especially UK n US is dat you girls feel too made and independent n are always picking the bills making ur sorry ass men stingy n taking y'all for granted.
ReplyDeleteM-amie has a different orientation about life o....
I've never ever bought things like gadgets in my entire life with my money,it's not my duty but a man's duty....so I see it.
The little things I even manage to use my money for,DH has to pay back accordingly.
Not that I don't contribute in the house bills but I'm just doing that cos I'm married n we are now one.
Girls stop it!
If u don't make him spend on u from d onset forming ure miss independent,it'd be hard to initiAte it.
He might be another girl's ATM...
Who knows?
DH here, DH there, DH everywhere! M-AMIE this DH don suffer for your hand I tell you! easy with that guy.
DeletePepper the only lady that DH sees and forgets M-amie.
"...The little things I even manage to use my money for,DH has to pay back accordingly.
DeleteNot that I don't contribute in the house bills...." Mamie, you dey contradict yourself here o. If you collect very little money you spend from hubby, how then is that classed as contributing?
Mamie water u're right on track.
DeleteBaba ode,oshi crap!i just hate stingy men.nah b4 i dey pity dem nt nw @al dey dnt deserve it @al,if you guyz like abuse me i dnt gve any flying fuck*FLIPS 30inchs sponged darling yaki and twerks away*
ReplyDeleteWat abt stingy women. 99% of Naija women r stingy. D most dey cn buy a guy is an aba made boxer and dey will think dey hv done much o.
DeleteThank you! Had this bf that whenever I visit, I end up feeding myself and fueling the gen. Mind you I did these things because I thought he was really broke. He measures his beverages before leaving the house because he always knows when I use them! One time he jokingly said he'll start hiding them whenever I visit because according to him, I drink tea too much. He even measure the fuel in the gen. Last time I visited him, spent 5days and in that 5days he fed me just 5times. His niece visited on the 6th day and dude stocked his kitchen to the brim. Dumped his stingy ass. Funny enough na the stingy ones like fuck pass. That guy teach me lesson ehn, now if I notice any kind of stingy moves, na run get me
Deletehmmmph... He isn't stingy. He just didn't like u
DeleteSo true renee he just didn't like u madam. Mama Sofia
DeleteAnon 7: 38 what did you wait this long? I would have believed this guy is stingy until you said he stocked his house the 6th day when he had another guest, oh well that should tell you he dose not send you period!!!! And you are not really welcomed in him house so if I were you after I read this, tell him you have seen his point and totally get it!!!
DeleteYou are not over reacting AND he will not change. RUN babes, RUN!!
ReplyDeletethe handwriting is so clear (3D)
ReplyDeletehe can't even book your flight himself or send you d money. smh
maybe he has his reasons tho
I think you should still go and see for yourself how tight his hands are...
My own is "DONT MARRY A STINGY MAN" ain't worth.
ReplyDeletesome men are just naturally stingy, i can understand spending with wisdom, but not the case were you have the money but dnt just want to spend it, we will all die someday and leave all that behind.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this man is stingy, he just doesn't think u should see him as ur atm or take him for a fool,remember d difference in ur ages, he just might see things differently. You are confirming his fears by ignoring him
ReplyDeleteHmm..This is a tough one..1st, do you ono how much he make's every month? 2nd, how many jobs dose he do? I am finding it difficult to judge him since i don't know how much he make's. He may not have much you know?. My husband was very very stingy before marriage and all that changed after marriage ( every body can't be like my husband of course ) He may be testing you also.
ReplyDeleteHave got two kids for a stingy man. Everyweek he takes pen to write every single Ayurveda down with prices. He always count the Pampers before he goes to work, most times he always remove the poo with tissue so day he can really use the Pampers, baby wipes is counted as well. He knows how many parts you can get from a whole chicken so when some part is missing he knows. He tricks me to go on low cut so as not to be asking for hair do. Then I couldn't work because my kids are little, now I work and I take good care of my kids. Then I saw hell, my advise for ladies is to be empowered financially before marriage.
ReplyDeleteHian!!! Wetin I no go hear. Thank God u got ur self a job madam! I am so alergic to stinginess. I was raised to give and I expect every one around me to be like that. Especialy my man!
DeleteJeez
DeleteAre u kidding? Dat one no be stingy again o,na in-built poverty mentality...he counts diapers n wipes?...dat chicken part is d height of it...na psychological problem he get o.he needs deliverance,collect prophet james' number from my padi oluwapinky(pink-shell)
Deletewow. He must be really stingy.
DeleteRe-cycling pampers and counting wipes?? I'm speechless! Thank God u r employed now sha cos dat kain stingyness no get deliverance formula or cure.
DeleteWhat?!!!thats insane.
DeleteJeez!!! You have got to be kidding!!! Kkkkkkkk chimooooo! Did u exaggerate or u really experienced this!!!
DeleteYour husband needs to be checked. Counting pampers! Haba habatically. I am independent but at the same time I can not stand stingy men. Some things are strictly meant for men to do. When women become so desperate to settle down, they settle for less. I can take good care of myself, fine. But dont take it for granted.
DeleteHuh...!? That's the height of stinginess! Reminds me of the story of a man who used to measure cut tubers of yam with a ruler and count how many cups of rice and garri were left in the house, so no one could cook anything when he was out, lol!
DeleteLoool Na wa oo
DeleteGod forbid bad thing. Count pampers, baby wipes nd chicken!!!
DeleteThis is the worst I ve heard.
He wasn't poor because then he always buy vans and building two houses at a time in Nigeria. I saw hell, then I had just two pairs of jeans wit one winter jacket. When I complained he started to give me 20pounds a month. Out of it I will start going from one charity shop to another to get nice clothes for my children because he had papers, I had none then. I endured alot of suffering and depression. But glory be to God I have my papers, though we are still.together but I realize that now he respects me more than then because now I look more beautiful, after paying my share of the house bills now I have enough money to buy things for my kids and send some money home without him knowing. I don't know why he's feeling insecure now because he's 10 years older than me.
DeleteYour husband is not stingy. He is Wicked.
DeleteJlo God bless u. Excuse me? I read with dismay as I tried to imagine how deprived u must have been. The point he failed to realise is that even if his thinking was that u didn't need anything bcos he provides u and u stay home etc. No matter what, a woman still needs her own money to do whatever she likes no matter how little. Am sure he bought ur sanitary towels too, and perhaps warned u how many to use a day...very wicked indeed. Pls o, don't think he has changed. I pray u never lose ur job. But be very prudent and start to save, this man can mess u up in future o...I can't stand men like this. I can never love him no matter what. (don't mind me pls) Start to save but don't let him know.
DeleteThank you @ Susie eko, since we are not legally married I try as much to save enough so as not to ever find myself in such situation again. He begs me to have more kids, but I'm done with two not with what i went thru.
DeleteYou sef! Two kids and he hasn't married you....pls tell him to do the needful joo! I'd love to attend your wedding, cos I'm sure he'll count the grains of rice into the guests' plates. One child might be a mistake, two isn't. Biko tell him to marry you before more children o
DeleteThe truth will always stand. Men maltreat women they paid bride price for not to talk of when they didn't pay. My sister, u are leaving in sin if you ain't married to that man, he isn't ur husband. Simple. Ask him to do the right thing if not you carry urself and dash a man and that's why he can treat you anyhow. Shalom!
DeleteGod women go thought so much o . So if tomorrow now you meet one correct hot Boo and blows you off your feet giving you all you need and making you feel like a really woman should, the world will stand up and judge o not knowing this is all you have been putting up with!!!! Can you Imagine him building a house and he gives you 20 pounds for a whole month! Na wa ooo. My dear you try
DeleteStella when wll u du giveaway. U deymake moni like Linda comeon 100k u won't share. See all the advertize on your blog. Y u dey stingy?
ReplyDeleteWhat if she makes money like Linda? Go and get a job and pray against begi begi spirit. Or move to Kano street, your mates are there. Sdkers dont beg. Run along omode yi.
DeleteLol orisabunmi, ur head de there!! Crazy beggers on blogs this days, Lol.
DeleteThief. Am sure u are the poster from Europe that tried to scam us yesterday. U never give up? U wan try another method abi? Lmao
DeleteLwkmd wat I can say is "na who wear shoe knw where dey pain am" as u feel like this better end the affair.
ReplyDeleteBabe you mentioned he's a PhD student meaning he's not employed full-time and he's just living on stipend. Is he caring? Is he God fearing? You didn't mention other good qualities about him just this money part. Think about it twice girlfriend, everything is not about money and it's hard to find a good man. Or maybe I dey over-analyze the whole thing sef. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteAny guy that tells you to use your money and he will give you later is a 419ner!
ReplyDeleteThe problem is, a lot of ladies give guys the impression that they are independent and when the guy in turn decides to give to the less privileged (other women), babes will cry fowl.
No matter what, the guy is supposed to provide for you as the gf, wife or even a side chic. Ladies stop forming iron man and allow the guy s do their job.
Poster, your boyfriend is not just stingy, he is a 419ner.
#anonymoustinz
Kai I feel for u
ReplyDeletePoster run for your life. I was with one for 2years, it's hell
ReplyDeleteBy d time u reach mid thirties and nobody notices u then u will know that ur man is God sent!that's all
ReplyDeleteNote: if a man has money he will spend it,if he doesn't have it,he will economise;everybody shouting don't date a stingy man, how much do your boyfriends or husband's give you every month for upkeep?Poster don't be deceived, this is a blog and must people paint the perfect life;talk to him and tell him to his face, you are kind of girl that understands when things go rough but you hate stingy guys; marriage is about the both of you,communicate and fix.
ReplyDeleteAnon 3:34- na wa for dat kain man o! Thumbs up for heading out and making your own money.
ReplyDeletePoster, a stingy man will frustrate you. Being stingy means he's also a stingy person. Those are not very good qualities of an ideal man if you ask me. It's good for women to empower themselves and make their own money, but don't mean the men should sit back and do nothing for their women.
The age cap between you guys is quite wide too. #justsaying
The beauty of a man- click my name to read more
Am no counsellor or advice specialist but I think you two need to communicate. Tell him how you feel and take it from there. Dont just stop picking his calls cos of that. Maybe he feels hes also being used, nobody wants to feel that way so pls talk to him.
ReplyDeletePlease, in as much as money is important in a relationship, I think the man's character is the most important thing here. Am married with 3 kids, yet I pay for virtually everything in my house. My only savior is that am a working class lady, as such I no send my hubby.
ReplyDelete@anon 3.42pm ur husband na real aka gum ... Hian..
ReplyDeleteI swear anony 3:42 u got me rolling on d floor, Ican't control my laff.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on what you want in life if you can cope with a stingy fella, go ahead and marry him if you can't just drop him like he's hot. The decision is yours.
ReplyDeleteI think this man plans to live off you...and that is one thing I can't stand in a man...a real man provides for his woman even if she's as wealthy as the queen of England..if its not in this order in your relationship pls run as fast as your legs can carry you.
ReplyDeleteIt's better 4 me 2 marry a man dat Cheats on me...rather dan marrying a STINGY man! Gosh! I hate stingy men wit d last drop of ma blood
ReplyDeleteAnon 3:42,i want to believe u are joking!thats so unbelievable!there won't be anyone dat stingy.
ReplyDeleteI think u are a selfish lady, with few instance you have concluded he might be stingy. He is a PhD student not a business man or working guy even if he is working it should be part time because of studies. He is limited to cash and you don't even know how he pay his bills as a student am sure you have not bothered to ask why don't you try to know how he feeds and cloth as a student instead of concluding, you even want a car from a student that's even a bad idea. You claim he is all you need in a guy do you think you will have it all in life? You can't. In my opinion you are the problem not him, he might not have cash as student when ever you ask him but because of your pressure he can't open up to you. I think you need to do stuff yourself not wait for your guy to do it because in as much as I am concern he is still a student and can take good care of you after his PHD .
ReplyDeleteLisa Spencer & Jay Moore!!
ReplyDeleteGod bless both of you tremendously. Una talk well. Nothing more to add.......!!!
My take is that the poster has expectations based on comparisons with others and has been unduly brainwashed into making certain isolated assumptions as fact. Babes make I call you Ushe. Ushe...face ya work and lef other people with them theory alone!! Women can give fairy tale jist to cover themselves o! If the guy in question is expected to be regarded as guilty of stinginess just because of the reasons you have given above, I declare a no case submission and strike out the case accordingly with damages! [I no claim to be lawyer o!!!]
PS: As for the poster wey talk say im husband dey count and reuse pampers. That one na tori! Person wey don use pampers before sabi say to reuse am na far-fetched idea. I therefore conclude that the jist na big big lie. If you wan diss your husband look for better reason than this kin one. Sege jagua!!
I said when the baby poo is solid, he will empty it inside the toilet. And put a fresh tissue on it to wear again for my baby then. I have nothing to gain in dissing him. Just sharing my own experience about a very stingy spouse.
Delete@Binta sugar I have seen somone wash and air used pampers before. Poverty was at work.
DeletePlease, I am not picking on any tribe, as I am a product of different tribes. My question is, is he a Yoruba? If yes, many Yoruba women I have come across are very independent. In fact, they carry the home. Even when I was in school, Yoruba girls were feeding their boy friends from the little they have. So, if he is a Yoruba, don't expect much from him because he may be one of those that never spent on women.
ReplyDeleteNa calabar men worse pass. Lazy ashawo bastards dem
Deletei just realised this truth abt yoruba men!!!
DeleteNne d handwriting is not only on d Wall buh in a 4D Screen! I have always hated selfish peeps,more so stingy guys! And ma dear,if u enter,u don enter so.na so u go dey use ur money do Everything o.i know Someone dat has a rich hubby buh dis wife pays for every damn thing dat concerns her.even deir child's school fees.dey have being married for 10 years buh d two cars she has had,na she buy am.waited soo Long for d Man and wen he wasnt forthcoming,she Went n got herself a ride.meanwhile,i know d man is stinkingly rich.dey go on vacAtion,d Man tells her to pay for plane tickets o.nothing i wont hear! Buh dis makes me appreciate ma hubby.show me a generous Man and i Bet he Cant stand Next to ma hubby in generosity.sometimes i wonder what makes him dat generous.buh nothing.he is just a good Man wit a good heart Who knows wot his wife needs n wants.
ReplyDeleteNigeria women with money love, see them ranting as usual. U all have heard one side of the story what about the guy' s part? If u take all advice from this blog u will ruin ur relationship. Nonsense
ReplyDelete& since when did it become the responsibility of boy friends to finance our daily expenses ? I'm a woman & it disgusts me when I see or hear women asking men to finance their expenses , like have you no fuvking shame ? What bout your parents or are you s cripple that you can't go out there & find a job ?? Shameless pigs coming on this blog to rant away , when men start calling you names & beating you up them y'all would start singing domestic violence , how won't he treat you like crap when he becomes responsible for your daily needs , he is also a student & has a part time job like you , so what's the problem with you ? I also live on the us & I know that times are hard but you've gotta give him a break sister plus he is under no obligation to finance your needs until you are married to him . Ladies stop giving boyfriends husband benefits & men quit giving babes wife benefits
ReplyDeleteThanks I hope all those poverty mentality ladies here listen to ur advice.
DeleteWell, lets even assume he is stingy, don't think that is good enough reason for you to stop taking his calls, study him well then you can take your decision.whilst we were dating , I used to think my husband was a bit stingy, I once travelled to see him and he din't even say anything about my ticket, maybe cuz I had a good job with minimal responsibilities.today, if my husband sees anything I like, he must buy as long as he can afford it.Like someone said he may be watching you, then again you don't evn know what is finances look like, do not jump into hasty conclusions.all the best
ReplyDelete@miss dee or whatever u call ur self pls just shut up it is ur type men use stay there and form 'I can take care of myself' mumu. Listen no one is saying a man has to pay all ur bills but a man that cares for you will definitely contribute something to ur life and to ur welfare. I don't believe there s anything like a stingy man because a man might be stingy to u but there ll be a girl or lady somewhere that will ask that same man for something even more than what u asked and he will not think twice before giving her. It's simple u just don't have the magic needed to get that particular man's favor move on. As for the poster from the way u are sounding I don't think the guy in question is serious about you cos if not anything else he should at least book ur ticket to come see him but u can risk it and pay for the ticket and go and see what comes out of it ,he might just be feeling uncomfortable especially if he thinks u re after money .
ReplyDelete@anon 9:52 pls stop saying nonsense am an Akwa ibom chick and our men are great . My present car was bought for me by an Akwa ibom man a single guy for that matter , he also rented and furnished my apartment , my kid sister is doing her masters in the uk sponsored by an Akwa ibom man although in this case he s married right from before she left here her tickets, tuition, accommodation he placed her on monthly salary she doesn't work over there she s just lounging every month she receives money for upkeep. My sister it's simple pray for a good man that will spend his money on you yes spell it out that way to God.
ReplyDeleteSo your sister is lounging on another woman's husband.
DeleteAbomination!!!!
Women are now so pray to be mistresses. Tufia.
No worries, the beautiful ones are not born yet, another woman would lounge on your sistrr's future husband. It's not a curse. Just how karma works
you lot are pathetic low lifers. why should the pressure be on the man to be financially responsible for some idiots?
ReplyDeletewhy can't bf and gf exchange gifts whenever? only cheap losers expects any man to be the paymaster or a mugu.
you lot want to be treated the same but cannot handle your finances with getting handouts from a guy.
Woman, communicate! See the power of social media? You have a problem and you run to blogs. Why don't you tell him how you feel and see if he changes or explains why he isn't doing all that? Oh well, i love my bf too and sometimes I understand he can't do everything for me cos he just got a job and hasn't balanced yet. The job I do, he applied it for me. He is that helpful! That's why each time I wanna leave, he cries cos he adores me and knows I will always stand by him. Pls pick up the fone and talk to that man, better still, skype! Goodluck!
ReplyDeleteHuh?dnt undstand hw he s stingy cos he refuse giving u money or wt? Hv u cared to ask f he really hav d money since he s running hs Phd? Or dy run phd free dere.pls go bck to ur man n sort tngs out.FYI he aint stingy buh considerate. EVE E UME
ReplyDelete