Day after day I watch them scan my hand
Looking for a ring or an engagement band
But when their search comes up fruitless, they heave a sigh
And then proceed to ask, 'But why?'
They say it's about time I found myself a beau
They say my wedding is long overdue
Day in, day out, they're asking when I'll marry
'Your rice we want to eat,' they say, 'Your baby we want to carry.'
They wonder how come I've not yet found myself a lover
They keep asking when I'll move over
To my matrimonial home, my husband's house
'When,' they ask, 'Are you going to find yourself a spouse?'
But why do you make me feel like I should be in a hurry?
Why do you want to give me cause to worry?
When you keep nagging day after day
It sometimes makes me to start to feel a bit gray.
Sometimes you put on me so much pressure
To find my 'forever treasure'
You make it sound like my life is ending
Just because I don't seem to be yet planning for a wedding.
I know you desire the very best for me
But please.....take it a little easy-that's my plea
Because your plenty talk and your many questions
Sometimes put me under a little tension.
The One in Whom I have faith
Has declared to me that 'None shall lack her mate'
In His Word I believe
And so in the matter of a spouse I know I will not grieve.
The way you can help is- to pray
To the One who rules night and day
Ask Him to make a way in the desert land
Let Him make all things work out by His great Hand.
In one month or maybe nine
I will be linked to he who is mine
It might take a short while, I believe it won't tarry
When the time is fulfilled, I know I will marry.
In the mean time, I'll make sure that the life I'm living
Touches lives, makes a difference...people must be blessed by my giving
I'll live so wonderfully that, when I finally find my prince
He'll be wondering why on earth he didn't find me ever since!
So,for those who are wondering when I will marry...
For those who are asking if I'll choose Mr Tom, Mr Dick or Mr Harry....
For those who want to know if my wedding is near....
Don't worry, when the time reaches, YOU WILL HEAR.
By Oluchi Okafor.
#GBAM
Very very nice, Woww!
ReplyDeleteI love this poem. Society has made woman less than who they are. Imagine my ex, a piece of shit I wouldn't look at twice if not for the fact people were pressurising me for marriage. He had d guts to say he is 'observing me' if I can be his wife, lmao. I told him I am observing him too and am not sure he can even be my husband. Society makes us look cheap to some men that are not even worthy of us. I'm done settling for less, when the time is right i'll find my prince charming.
DeleteWhy do women like broadcasting their desperation? You end up making men to take advantage of you
DeleteThere is something single ladies should know. Even though many of you married friends pressure you into marriage, 65 percent of them are unhappily married. It is a fact. I used to feel bad b4 about being single but now I don't. Take your time. A friend of mine tried this dating site called badoo n met a guy whom she is marrying soon. In badoo, there are many guys who are looking for girls to sleep with. Be ware of them. Keep chatting with many till you meet the one who is looking for a real relationship. Some guys there fit propose cos they want to fuck u. Don't carry your leg n go to visit any guy who invites you over. If that special guy whom you have been chatting with for months rily likes you, he'll visit you. You guys should try it n choose wisely
DeleteHmmmmm
DeleteIts so frustrating how insensitive people can be!
Is it. Possibel I've found "the one" and I chose not to marry?!
I know God will do it this year and it won't be a "patchwork" in Jesus' Name,Amen.
Love this .....and I can identify fully with it...
ReplyDelete2014 is definitely my year, I dnt knw how but I knw Prince Charming is gonna find mua soonest! Am prepared n waiting!
ReplyDelete4 some reason this write up brought tears to my eye. I dnt know what's happening to me. No job, no boyfrd, no frd what so ever and i know am a nice gul. My colleagues in my fomal place of work tld me i am. My parents adore me but the pressure on me 2 marry is just too much. I will be 30 in 2yrs. Must of the times i cry. I ask God y me? Y is all of this happening to 1person? Y me Jesus! Y? Did i 4get the part am the only daughter? I know i ve 2 ve a boyfrd 1st before a husband right? Oh goodness...Am so depressed, broken and suicidal right now. Am just tired and fade up. What is happiness again?? What is happening 2 me God? What ve i done 2 deserve all of this. *smh* come 2 my rescue plz. Save my soul plz God. Ve pity on me and Surprise me. *crying* plz sorry 4 any mistake SDKers. Not intentional. My eyes are blurry. I can't stop crying...
Delete@anony God will give u ur soul mate at the right time. His ways are not our ways,he will bless u wen u least expect. Before I got married ,didn't have a bf and told God I will never settle for less,told him wat I wanted and focused on God and work. My husband came and in 6mnths we were already talkin marriage. Now am married wit a kid. Never stop praying,he wil surprise u
DeleteMy dear please don't do anything you will regret. Your own will come when the time is ripe and right. At the appointed time you will laugh. The problem is that we as humans 'want it right now'
DeleteI went through a very terrible wilderness experience while at university. Two horrible relationships which i can't even explain. But at the right time ( it seemed like ages though) God brought me this wonderful man I am now married to. God wiped my tears
Please hang in there, don't let go. Be in the place of prayers, God in His mercy and grace will meet you just there.
It is well with you IJN.
Sweetie, when the time is right, no man or woman can stop your shine. Clean your eyes and stop thinking about it. God will bring you your prince charming soonest.
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Delete10x guys. 10x so much 4 this encouraging words. God bless u all. Amen!!!
DeleteU want 2 commit suicide cos u need a husband. Sorry 2say dis n I may b harsh but its d truth u r d most foolish person I'v ever heard of. U kn ppl beqqinq u not 2do anytin stupid r really annoyinq. Go ahead n kill urself den d quy will meet u in d qrave. Rubbish!
DeleteU want 2 commit suicide cos u need a husband. Sorry 2say dis n I may b harsh but its d truth u r d most foolish person I'v ever heard of. U kn ppl beqqinq u not 2do anytin stupid r really annoyinq. Go ahead n kill urself den d quy will meet u in d qrave. Rubbish!
DeleteCome Diamond or what ever u call urself. If u dnt ve anything toadd u shut the fuck up!! People like u that act as if the world is @ their feet cry when no one is watching. Do u even know what been suicidal is? Am sorry 4 u.
DeletePlz dear Poster, i married @ the age of 29 and April 1st will make it 6yrs. Am blessed with 2 wonderful children. I nearly gave up ope just like u but God sent my hubby just in time to wipe my tears away. Plz be Strong. The Good God who did it for me, will definitely do it for u. Just believe!!...okay? is well.
I have been in this same situationi had to terrible break up...they both promised marriage n I gave my best...I cried almost every night. ....I kept praying and I believed in him....but it wasn't easy...seeing pple hooking up left right n centre.....I kept praying n fasting..n did my little best n hoped God would show me mercy someday...lo and behold someday my dad just called me that he needs to discuss something with me....my dad told me about his friend's son....his own dad told him too, we never met...we were arranged to meet. ...before he went back to the states....he lives there....we liked each other. ...we fell in love...he proposed....I forgot to mention I have had US visa before I met him...so it was all easy for us....what I would advice is we ladies should work on what we have control on..work on ourselves to be a better person. ....along the line..things would fall in places. ..the buttom line is God showed up when I already gave up....I couldn't have asked for better father n mother in law....I am with my fiancee now...he treat me with love n respect....I would say it again.....modupe oluwa...oje ki oju timi...ese tori pe egbo adura mi....eternal rock of ages I glorify your name....because you said you would do it and you did....forever grateful. ...
DeleteToo much emphasis on marriage and relationships can't people be let alone in peace
ReplyDeleteHonestly. Cant we just live in peace and mind our business. People should start paying more attention yo their own lives and stop being judgemental.
DeleteSpot on o! My mum won't allow me drink water and drop cup. Wants to push me yo marry a guy I can't even stand his presence, already told her "if he doesn't make my toes coil or give me butterflies when we kiss no need".Anywhere Jehovah isn't leading me to, I ain't going hence I will wait. ..
ReplyDeleteAlero I concur with u biko. Same thing my friend's going thru... someone she's not attracted 2. Asin nothing connects both of them but pressure and age is almost pushing her in2 it... it's well!
DeleteIf this is a poem, I know it has touched pple's heart but if it is a true life story, I want u to know that God is on ur case n at d appointed time, He will settle u
ReplyDeleteThis is so wonderful....
ReplyDeleteI love it. Kudos to the author.
so many Spinsters age before their time due to the pressure mounted on them by the so-called "concerned friends and family"
When the time reaches..YOU WILL SURELY HERE!!!
Ok heard, society its self is already a pressure on its own, especially in this part of the world, so even if nobody puts pressure on the ladies, society on its own puts pressure on them
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Nothing new...
ReplyDeleteAS IN EH, FUNNY WRITE UP THO THE LADY IS FED UP
ReplyDeleteNice write up...but really, the pressure ladies face esp in Nigeria is too much. Once u done wt nysc and prolly working, the pressure triples. Its heartbreaking, some friendds now resent going home cos of issues like this. Even on blogs, ppl are quick to remind Rita Dom to "go and marry" its crazy the way we take things sha. Y'all shud calm down.
ReplyDeleteGood one. Plus I found out the ones always on your neck are in miserable marriages. It is like they hate seeing you happy and free. I remember someone telling me, work will not care for you. I laughed and told her if it will not then why is she always hitting me up for a loan? Or the one that said who will warm my bed at night, in my mind I said definitely not the type that you married; he was warming everybody elses bed. I took my time to get married because I refused to listen to the naija woman pressure. To all the single ladies, do not go around desperate o. Cause you will be desperately seeking a way out as well. Gone are the days of rushing, look around you...marriages are like they say 2 minute noodles. Take time to agree to marry a man worthy of being submitted to, take time to become a wife that can be loved like Christ loved His church. There is no rush please. The cliche saying that if you rush in you will rush out is very real. A word is enough for you. Being single is another ministry on its own, instead of hungrily looking for husband, why not start making yourself useful to others? Why not develop yourself more? Husband is not the end all for a woman o. Give your future kids something to be proud of biko. God bless you all.
ReplyDeleteHear, Hear @ anon!
DeleteWell spoken.
The truth though is that, when you are the single one on the other side being told by a sincere married woman to take your time and not rush, you tend to think they do not want you enjoying what they are enjoying.
Sometimes, mosttimes, I wonder what all the rush was for- and yet, I got married at the age of 27.
I just wish I had moved away from home to gain better clarity and, perhaps, give my husband another year.
Perhaps a lot of the misunderstandings that have been coming up might have been avoided.
My married cousin always tells me 2 take my time, get a job, finish all d schooling I want 2 do. She has 3 kids she adores them 2 death but there's a lot she wld hv wanted 2 achieve b4 them. Hubby always goes out golfing jollificating n looking younger. I'm even strong headed so pressure is not 4 me. All I want is 2 be self reliant, then there can't really be much pressure. Every girl or most dream of getting married so the pressure is actually uneccessary. Honestly I cut off friends whose only discussions r marriage. Can't deal abeg.
DeleteGbamest!!!
DeleteExactly my reply
ReplyDeleteYou will all hear when the time comes
Will invite you all , especially those who really mean well !
Wow!!!!!!U took it straight from my mouth.
ReplyDeleteOluchi Okafor - nice write up. At 29 years, I can totally relate
ReplyDeleteSDK'ers, please HELP!
I hardly meet men in my line of work or in my social circles but having heard/seen a lot of marriage horror stories from my siblings, cousins and friends, I think I may have developed some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder relating to Marriage.
When I get a guy coming to chat me up these days – my reaction is generally like “liar liar” you all are the same. You come with sweet tongues and all manner of affection only to turn traitor when marriage comes. This general distrust of men and relationships is what has put me off from developing closer relations with the opposite sex.
I know I can't keep up this way if I want to develop a relationship but I really don't know what to do.
Help please!
-Rara Girl
I can relate to that, cos I had the same problem. I'm happily married now to an amazing man. So I'll tell u this- every relationship is a risk. U can't be too careful or too cautious. Don't over-think things. I hate to break it to u, but u will most likely have a heartbreak or 2 before you meet 'the one'. Don't be afraid to have ur heart broken, it makes u stronger and wiser. Should u Hv ur heart broken, don't be afraid to try again and don't take the hurt into ur new relationship, it'll be unfair to ur partner. Relationships will turn out how they are meant to be, don't try to engineer it, u may just end up alone and miserable. That's not to say you should settle for less o. Set ur standards (realistic ones) and stick to them. Open ur heart, don't be afraid to love. To love and be loved is such a beautiful life changing experience. Pls don't deny urself that.
DeleteChecklist before you say I do and lots more on omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com
God bless you Omalicha nwa
DeleteAwwww...God bless you too Cassie.
DeleteU just speak my mind.thnks for d encouragement
ReplyDeleteThats from genevieve nnaji
ReplyDeleteGurl u just spoke my mind. Pressures out der might push you into a wrong. I know dey mean well but of recent, one tried hooking me up wit a pastor who says his wife must not wear trousers, make up, weavon and jewelry (this sm1 who saw me garbed in all dis and says he prefers me over oda ladies shown to him)and he's into praying ministry! D tot of demons chasing afta me wen dey cant get him scared me to death loool!
ReplyDelete1000000 likes. Nigerians never mind their biz. If u never marry they'll ask why not. If u marry they'll ask why him or any kids? If u have 1 kid, why just 1? If u have more than 1, then its why so many?
ReplyDeleteLol. ...You are absolutely right!
DeleteLovely write up but wait o, y haven't u gotten a soul mate till now? All the guys didn't match ur expectation, ure too choosy or na just ya destiny. Well wrong decisions and wasting time with diz small boys/players, picking quarrel @ d slightest provocation, and not being able to tolerate may just be the cause so quit this ya consolation write up n wake up!
ReplyDeleteit's called poetry
DeleteLol. Nice.
ReplyDeleteAm tired of we women,making it look like we can't have fulfilled lives without husbands. Sometimes,I just wonder if men pray for wives wif d same intensity as women who are bombarding prayers for husbands.
ReplyDeleteAm even more tired of d society and the pressure on single ladies to get married. Seems Once u enter varsity,every1 starts expecting u to get married,I no know if dem dey share husband for sch oh! If u don dey grad,omo every1 suDdenly wants to eat ur rice. Oya nah,go service na that time dem go begin tell u abt ur mates wey don marry. Haba! Let our young women be...Marriage should be a + to a woman.
We need a change of mindset seriously. We need to quit using marriage as a criteria to know what woman has arrived or not.
Hahaha tnk God for my house nothing like that infact they don't wanna be grand parents until msc smh
DeleteWe have the happy ones in marriage and the unhappy ones. The unhappy ones always push you to get married so you can join the unhappy click. Any married woman that is on my case to marry by fire by thunder might as well give me her hubby. Make we share am, since she loves me more than I love myself. Abi?
DeleteGod! Am just loving every comment on this post. Just dis morning I was listening 2 an Igbo xtian song and the lady singer said 'God will give u a husband u all looking 4 a husband. And I asked myself, ain't men looking 4 wives? Never have I heard or came over something that says 'God pls give these men wives' always the other way round. Didn't the bible say that he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing? Isn't men that are supposed 2 be doing this ' Ultimate search? I don taya sef!!
DeleteRuby ur head is there. God bless u
DeleteRuby ur head is there. God bless u
Deleteyes o!#true talk stella#
ReplyDeleteOShey, there's no need to hurry
ReplyDeleteYou are good! Nice one dear...
ReplyDeleteDaz a nyc piece. Btw who's she?
ReplyDeleteShe's a medical doctor by profession..she's a beautiful combination of brain and talent
DeleteChi tanx.
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ReplyDeleteOluchi, please will you marry me? Say aye, and I shall belong to thee!
ReplyDeleteYes, oya go buy ring begin come my house make I introduce you to popsy
Deletejojo mayana said....
ReplyDeletethis is a lovely piece.. i like it. society just keeps putting pressure on single peeps. i keep wondering y
Oh for sure! Y'all will hear by God's grace dis year! Amen
ReplyDeleteHmmmm,God will settle me and every single sisters this year In Jesus Victorious Name.......Amen! It's well!
ReplyDeleteReal talk. The poem make sense die with correct rhyming. But is anyone else worried at the alarming number of single ladies out there? What could be the cause?
ReplyDeleteLol. The cause is that the matured men also have refused 2 get married... should we marry toddlers? They' ll wait until they get 2 abt 40 something yrs of age, then they will start looking for young girls of 20 yrs 2 marry... Na reply comments I dey 2 day!! Lol
DeleteI think people should be allowed to get married when they are ready, the divorce rate this days is alarming.
ReplyDeleteNice rhyme and message, I used to know one Oluchi Okafor,bt then those names are very common
ReplyDeleteOK. WE HAVE HEARD.
ReplyDeleteBia Stella, no be only u get this blog sef. we SDKers do too. we wait all day to read comment. kpachara anya gi o.
OK. WE HAVE HEARD.
ReplyDeleteBia Stella, no be only u get this blog sef. we SDKers do too. we wait all day to read comment. kpachara anya gi o.
Dnt mind her,iit isn't fair
DeleteOnye bu Oluchi okafor?
ReplyDeleteNice one...
ReplyDeleteGbam! Thank God for my understanding parents who can never pressure me into marriage.
ReplyDeleteMarriage these days is over rated jare.
CeeCee
Old woman like you is talking.....your mates don born 2-5 children in their husbands house...Keep killing your womb with postinor2 and abortions....you go soon see the result.....and don't bring your sad story here for advise....
DeleteLinda Eze be careful with d way u address pple because u are not God. All ur kids could die in one day and u ll start over. Not wishing u that but it happens to pple and can happen to anyone.
DeleteYou are so worthless Linda, how could u be so harsh? Isn't she entitled to her opinion? Damn! Get a grip of your frustrated life!
DeleteWhat if this is not your year to get married? Not mocking the lady praying for a husband this year but do you all just pray for husbands before December or do you pray that God blesses you with a marriage that has the necessary necessaries to thrive.
ReplyDeleteIn my humble opinion, we have "so many single ladies" because women are not settling any more and I like this. Have expectations for these men and know that you are not incomplete without a husband. If 2014 passes by without you getting married, then it could be this was not your time.
Too many Dear Aunty Stella stories are out here for some of you to still be in a haste.This forever thing no be joke o. You think it is just to answer Mrs. Sowunmi that is the destination. Like someone said above, you will rush in and rush right out. My guys and I do not shout like this. We are busy building our lives and looking for partners with added value(sorry to sound so harsh). The good guys out there are looking for women that will bring something to the table. Times are hard, no body has energy to deal with drama. We need a team comprising of two whole individuals to make marriages work. If you are a woman/man waiting to marry and become complete, then you are doomed. If you are looking for marriage as a status upgrade, you will be shocked. If you can not exist outside of a man, then you are signing over your life to a lifetime of heartbreak.
Gbammest!!!
Deleteyou have just spoken about a type of group of ladies. There are some ladies who have positively built there lives to the T and any man marrying them will thank God everyday but they are not seen because there is a curse in operation. All is not as nice and pretty as you put it. There also men who are under this curse and there destined wives are made women but it will only take the right counselling and spiritual guidance for any woman to take them on. So, there you have it. Not every girl is screaming i want husband. Some of us want to be alive and well before hubby matter. The likes of us will not settle for agony but God's divine plan for marriage.
Delete@ anonymous 5:51pm, you are absolutely correct. A lot of women who call themselves married (even when they know that their husbands are worthless and unfaithful) are deceiving themselves. Some see the ring as a symbol of a higher status. But they fail to understand that when the man breaks his vows, they aren't in a marriage any longer but just a domestic partnership with std's. It is those kind of frustrated women that envy the single ladies and talk trash about them. Most women just lack respect for themselves and have really low self esteem- what a pity!!!!
ReplyDeleteIs this to pray to God to bring a good man or to diss the married women? Lol! Girls never ever giv yourself an atom of headache over another person's marriage! That her husband is cheating will not make ur future husband any better or lesser than him! Face your front and mind Ya business! Gosh! Some girls are just soooo annoyingly jealous and bitchy! Msschwwwwww!
DeleteNne eh I av been in that thing called marriage,inshort that thing na life time imprisonment with hard labour trying to pls someone who sees you as an expired mango.thank God I'm begin misbehave say we where related somehow from their kindred and na so we divorce sharp sharp after a year.I was barely 22 then.Nne eee I don change the lens in my eye ball carry torch light put am,if you de look me for bottom I don already use the torch see u from afar before you talk wetin you want.since that incident na so my parents relax jeje,na dem go even ask whether the person de genuine cus them no want that kind mistake again.so my sister abeg make una softly de search oh nothing de der.Na d love weh de man go de giv u if you if u ar lucky to get the good ones and your pickin finish.
ReplyDeleteMa dear tell dem o,marriage is wonderful wen u are with the right person,there is no hurry in life.my parents didn't bother dy were even d ones tellin me to shine my eyes,I use head lamp abi torch wit God by my side nothing dey happen(lol).Tnk God for my husband(d guy no dy wahala me). I had a friend who almost had BP cos of the mother pressurising her to get married. Tnk God she is married and happy she decided not to listen to the mum and waited on God. So abeg there is no hurry in life,just wait for ur time and do not settle for less.
DeleteThe pressures single ladies face in dis part of the world abt marriage isn't fair at al. They forget that God has plan and purpose for every one on earth, u can't get married wen the lordd hasn't said so. Parents will do dia own,even relatives wey no reach to talk go talk rubbish,.some ladies gets rubbished by some stupid low life in d name of marriage why some succumb to pressures and get married to who dy are not attracted to(I tire). I didn't experience such pressure from my parents. Marriage is not a do or die afffair,u pray abt it and leave the rest for God. I rem wen I was single,working and stayin wit my aunt,d tatafo woman wanted to hook me up indirectly wit one dry fish cos he is loaded,she said it jokingly and warned her jokingly too. I didn't have a bfriend but wasn't bothered cos I have discussed wit my God,. Met my hubby dat same year and in 6mnths we talking marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMany ladies are useless now adays only knw how to part legs and shop rubbish @ expensive places, that's y they r looking for huSbands to continue their liability life with,without the men they r finish after 10yrs of their reign, it doesn't take long 4 dem to expire. Shior shame on ladies of this day! MY prayer is let christ come and let all man/women rest, haba
ReplyDeleteMany ladies are useless now adays only knw how to part legs and shop rubbish @ expensive places, that's y they r looking for huSbands to continue their liability life with,without the men they r finish after 10yrs of their reign, it doesn't take long 4 dem to expire. Shior shame on ladies of this day! MY prayer is let christ come and let all man/women rest, haba
ReplyDelete@Anonymous with the troubled heart, hang in there. If you get married to some guy that makes your life a living hell, then you will end up killing yourself. Right now, you need to find fulfilment in God first and then get you together. You are in no space to have a man. Right now, a man entering your life (unless a really good one), will take advantage of the current state of your esteem. That my dear sister, is a horrible place to be because men tend to be naturally selfish. The minute he knows that he can twist and turn you anyhow, you are done for. Please seek healing for your soul. You sound like you are trusting God, well trust Him to make you whole first and then trust him to get you a source of livelihood(you get off the pity party box and do something) and then watch and see a good man stroll into your life. Keep your chin up ok.
ReplyDeleteD differences in people's views can be really amazing! Wetin bring desperation now??? Oluchi ur peom z lovely. Nigerians can take panadol for anoda man headache! Tufia! A couple decides not to have kids until two years into the marriage and d neighbors be in anoda corner saying "eyaah! She no fit born, all dese girls sef, na wetin she go don do" God help us mind our business o. Husbands'll come wen they will!
ReplyDelete