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What do you do when you find out your loving husband has been using the same loving words he uses on you with the house help to get her into bed?
Should you walk out of a marriage because of this?....well,he says it isn't true but the house help swears it is...who do you believe?What do you do?
''Stella,I left home for a one day training,after which we were lodged in a hotel,in the morning of the following day,hubby called to tell me our 24 year old maid left the house
unannounced,shocked,i asked him how and why,he said my cousin came to knock his room door saying the maid is no where to be found,so I told him to hand over the phone to my cousin,i asked my cousin what happened,she said the maid told her my hubby wanted to sleep with her the previous night but she declined,and had to leave the house.
Shocked and distabilized,I left the training and ran back home to confront my hubby,but he denied and I moved on,two days later the maid called me to say she was sorry for leaving the house like that and narrated her experience with my hubby to me .
she said he gave her some money and tried to convince her to sleep with him but she refused, because I have been good to her and she felt her only option was to leave so as not to wreck my home.
My hubby keeps denying that it is not true. Stella I feel so bad and confused,and am at the verge of calling it quits because I feel he has betrayed my trust.we have 3 kids.
Please advise me, I also need the advise of your blog readers.
Thanks as you help me treat urgently.
Please protect my identity. Thanks''
*i am lost for what to say.....big betrayal though!
This is not a strange occurence and people do take extra measures to avoid it. Some hire older helps, some prefer to stay with an extended family member while some people don't even employ female househelps at all.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, since there's no concrete evidence here, you have to put this behind you and move on.
However, you've got to keep an eye on that hubby of yours. Yw.
You go and sleep in a hotel say na training u shld ask urslf y ur hubby is looking for sex up and down,he has conji the house hlp was the nxt avalable flight u are doin training in the same town and city u cldnt go bk home.u starve ur husband with sex,am sure u are work work type.soon he wld start goin 4other owmen outside
DeleteAnon 12:35. U be complete mumu.
DeleteU r jst so daft and shallow.
Anon 12:35,are u sure u are not the husband in question?what do u mean by he has conji,ok fine can't he go get a gal outside,must it be d maid?and btw such men are naturally wayward,its not a matter of her starving him of sex,hes a cheap maniac!
Delete@ poster,the maid wasn't lying,it happened!he won't accept he did it as a matter of ego or fear of what u will do.just keep away anything female maid from ur house whether underage or overage!such men no get specification,to them;hole na hole'!
And also begin to watch him even around ur female family members and friends,cos if he can try the maid,hmmmm only God knows what he can do or is doing with one or two of the disloyal ones'!
It's so painful dat u cannot advice a woman to leave her marriage esp after 3kids!just take heart hun.
Anon shut ur trap!! So she shld be blamed cos her randy hubby was tryna sleep with d maid. My sisters hubby tried d same thing with me and i moved out unannouced and never told my sis why. I still feel somehow wen i see him cos i feel he is wicked and deceiving my sister, but i knw my sis wont believe me, so i kept it to myself.
DeleteDid u say starve? So she shld nt live her own life cos of 'her husband and sex'? Great!
DeleteShut up jor if you have nothing reasonable to say. Did she sleep out intentionally? I bet you are sit at home 24/7 that's why you see something wrong with her going for training. So just one night out is enough for the husband to want to sleep with the maid? So he can't hold himself for one night abi? Useless talk. It is your type that encourage nonsense
DeleteAnon 12.35 u are such myopic fool,some companies even train for as long as 1 month,this is just one day and you spit venom, she for siddon for house turn to toy.
DeleteAnon 12:35........are you for real??? a round of applause for u......so a woman's life should be stagnant bcos she wants to satisfy her hubby's sexual appetite all day long......moreso,,wat mkes u think full house wives are not having dis kind of issues to tackle in dia marriage???
DeleteBig betrayal indeed, but madam that is not enough to leave your marriage oh, men will always deny. This is a marriage remember? again there are kids involved, if you were just dating i will say break up. Don't employ any house help again because next time you may not be this lucky.
ReplyDeleteI know it hurts being told to forgive someone who can't even confess and ask for forgiveness, but you have to let it go
DeleteThank God for the kind of house help you have, but well everything happens for a reason, pls just forgive him
It is very very difficult. And unfortunately, a man who has the ability to hit on any woman in skirt without minding her status or relationship to his family is a chronic medically unstable womaniser. This is putting it mildly. Even if his wife surrenders herself to satisfy him 3x a day he'll still want to fuck the maid on his way to the bathroom to clean himself up after his wife. They are terrible.
DeleteThere's a man I know too, very well to do and he's of a high calibre. Every single maid that they have employed in their home he fucked. His wife was/is aware of his problem, but because she cannot handle the work load at home she needed the extra hands. So at a time she started bringing in relatives, hoping that he wouldn't try it with them. For where? He fucked her sisters, cousins, everyone. It became an embarrassment. He even sleeps with his wife's friends too.
So the woman decided that she would no longer employ the services of adults, she started employing small girls from ages 10-14. I lie to u not SDKers, this man got one of the small maids pregnant 4x, and it was the final abortion that he did for her that exposed it all. The girl cried while she confessed that 'daddy' had been sleeping with her from the very week she entered their house. Which was when she was 12yrs old. This girl has no breasts or bumbum o. By this time she had spent close to 5yrs in their house. To cut the long story short, this woman is still married to this man today, only they do not have maids or any relatives in their home again. Infact everyone knows the story so much that pple are warned not to even visit their home with their daughters. Its a bad stigma.
Poster I honestly do not have a tangible advice to render u, other than to ask u to stop bringing maids to ur house. Or better still u can employ males if ur kids are not girls. Cos that's another wahala.
Mrs Zulu....hian....dat man's own is a curse....i dont think it is oju lasan....
DeleteExactly Mrs Zulu, being a house help isnt the question here. What matters is that her husband has no shame. So it dosent matter who she brings home, the man wld eventually make a pass at the person.Even if she dosent bring anyone home, , he wld go out looking. Madam you have a big one on your plate, may the Lord give you the wisdom to handle it well....Mrs D
DeleteIt hurts but....
ReplyDeleteYou have two options. 1. Stay on or 2. Keep it moving.
You wear the shoes and you know where it pinches the most.
I'm all for whatever floats the damn boat and what makes you sleep well at night.
If na me, I won't even make a big deal out of it. I go just quietly change operation. More sex and more attention to the way I look. But that's me....
Julit... honestly sometimes you just talk through your anus....abeg shift with ur yeye advice joor... more sex ko, more sex ni...does d wife go looking for someone to fuck when Oga is not in town??? Apparently, the palm wine you take everyday is beginning to affect ur reasoning faculties... Shioooorrrr
DeleteYour father lap!
DeleteI love Naija women. Delusional as all get out. You will increase sex to appease your randy husband. I love being a Nigerian man, I swear. Juliet, you will be the type to end up running yourself into the ground for a good for nothing man.
DeleteAnonymous 5:08 you are hilarious!
DeleteJuliet please the woman is not to blame. Enough sex or not a man who wants to cheat will cheat. Shikena!
I feel for the woman though. If only the man will admit it'll be easier to forgive. He should be made to admit so that that they can both move on from this ugly incident.
No julit love,never over compensate for a man's excesses! Never ever!
DeleteJulit you sound like a baby. So much that you make me laugh. Like wide eyes said, never over compensate for a man's excesses. Are you that young that you have not heard of cases where a man has a fine looking, sex goddess at home yet cheats on her. Very foolish talk from you, I must say.
DeletePoster,how can you bring a grown ass woman to live with you as a maid???.....hmmmm....well,no man will agree that they have looked at a woman talkless of sleeping with them....your house maid is telling you the truth....sorry to say but your man is a pig....such men disgust me....he dosent have a single respect for you....what happend to their numerous girlfriends they keep out side?....I won't advice you to divoice him....leave him for a while if he keep denying....go to your parents house and stay...mtcheeew
ReplyDeleteGod bless you o Linda
DeleteAbeg no leave am yet. You never catch am. Since you now know what you think he is capable of doing even helps, activate your antenna and reposition it towards his direction. You will surely catch him. House-help kwa!!
DeleteLinda nne Dalu joor.., don't mind Julit madam more sex.
DeleteShe should go to her parents' house to stay because of this?
DeleteI don't think the help is lying. believe her but since there is no physical proof don't harass your hubby. ..i think your house help has fear of God if not she for chop and clean mouth but here is what to do..secretly place a nanny cam in your room and nanny room so that you can observe what goes on next time...some men sha
ReplyDeletehahaha stella, you come again o. keep doing the good work. your still remain the best. keep it up
ReplyDeleteIf you reading this and you single believing God for a special man or woman please click HERE, do it in faith
You know both of them.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, dont be rash, I dont even know for Nigerian men, they act so stupid because they think they can get away with it, most times instead of holding them accountable the wives will mob and blame the other woman.
Thank God if this is true the maid respectedyou and her body enough to leave.
Once more I think people shouldnt have live in maids not because of randy husbands no because of labour laws,let maids work 9_5 so they too can have their own lives.
Anyway, he has denied, she accused his word against hers no evidence, dont demonise her, she could have stayed and slept with him, she didnt she left, she isnt asking you for anything. You know your spouse, you know if he is responsible or one of those men who believe they can always have one on the side.
On this case let it be as you have no evidence, move on and dont blame yourself ever. Its not your job to sit and babysit a grown mans penis, if some people cant manage their dicks then they should stay single and follow all the nyash they want.
Nigerian women should start having higher standards and stop making pathetic excuses for cheaters.
Which one be Nigerian men inside now? Arnold Schwarzenegger wey give maid belle even born for am, na Nigeria? Mscheeew.........Madam no vex, your husband na pig. But don’t your marriage because of this o. No vex.
DeleteHmmm dis is a tough one o, how u wan do na? My sister sorry o
ReplyDeleteOk now seriously, u knw ur hubby, is he a womaniser? Do u rly think he did it? Well d next tin is u need to ask urself if u can 4give him,except it is rly difficult 4givin wen a person hasn't even accepted they're wrong let alone apologised. Dear poster u av d decide o,only u av d answer .... wateva u decide think of ur kids
Thanks Stella and my fellow blog readers. The guy is denying and on top of it,he is forming vex for me, saying I accused him wrongly, and on my side,the love I have for him has declined drastically. D whole thing just tire me.
ReplyDeleteMadam, is he a womaniser?
DeleteHas he done this in the past?
Dont be rash, what do you want to do? Force him to say he did it?
You have no evidence just her word against his even in court the matter is dead, calm down.
He's just using attack to defend himself,dont mind dat vex he's forming!to shut him up tell him the nanny recorded all thee conversations they had and she has called u to meet her up and collect it as evidence,u will see him start running around to look for d maid and shut her up......
DeleteDon't bother to ask him again. Just quietly de follow am with your eyes. U no no sey so long as u no catch am, e fit raise fire and brimstone for your head? Na im go form vex pass so tey you will soon go and kneel down and ask for his forgiveness on top his gbenching mode. If you check his heartbeat, I sure sey the heart don almost pop out for there. But its all good. No too raise fight on top his head. His next line of action is outside runs. Oya go give am fud chop. Lol
DeleteMadam chill jor nd say No to maids....Manage ur home by ursef or u marry a wife for ur husband nd btw do u think he can ever accept ur accusations? Pls wake up. Mugu.
DeleteI can imagine how u feel. BT don't leave him. Continue in ur wifey roles bt @ d same time give him space,d kind that'll mk him knw u re reali disappointed. Then u sit him down n talk things out weda he denies it or not. This marriage thing is for better for worse.
DeleteLastly u shd commit ur home into God's hands.....
P.S... don't employ a 24yr old maid nxt time.
It is well with ur home. Cheers
Dejavu. Same thing happened to me about 4 years ago, went to osogbo for a secondary school friend's wedding and left my husband, kids and help at home, help left the second night to go stay with my mom till I got back cos my husband wouldn't allow her sleep, he denied it and swore on his life, my mom begged the help, paid her almost 3 months worth salary and told her to leave, she told me to sit my husband down, let him know that I believe the help and let her go to save him the embarrassment of living with her because she won't respect him anymore, I put it all behind me like nothing happened, about a year later my husband confessed and apologised. All is well now, no help since then, we just share the chores.
DeleteMy dear don't leave ur marriage cos of this silly excuse, no man is worth dying for. Do the things that make u n ur kids happy, mk sure u always milk him dry to take care of ursf dear cos most of d ppl here v got worst hubby than urs n they r still there. Dnt leave ur marriage.
DeleteMrs K has it occured to u that she needs a maid cos the family needs her salary and she has to work?
Delete@Queen Amy I beg you in the name of God dont trivialise the issue. You call this a silly excuse? WTF?
DeleteHi Poster, go ahead with your life. Wake him up in the middle of the night and warn him that this sort of thing must never happen again. If it does you will support the person to accuse him of sexual harassment.
He may own up or not but you have to decide if you want this issue hanging over your head. I believe the girl isn't lying and deserves an apology from you for putting her in that situation. I mean she could have been raped.
You are lucky de house help is a nice person for not letting your husband have his way. Well you do not expect him to admit it. Just keep being the good wife that you are,he will release that he has wronged you and apologized.
DeleteThat's always the case with when a man of the house reduces d authority of his position. to demand sex from a house help or any staff lower in rank to his. The first thing that comes to his kind before he approaches such is what the consequences of his actions will be, should he be found out. And right away in his mind, he prepares to bully his victim psychologically, saying that if she tells anyone no one will believe her. And that he'll deny it or prolly say that it was her who made passes at him. Hence pple will believe him instead.
DeleteSome fall for this trick and have suffered for it. Ultimately losing their jobs. While the man giggles inside. At any rate those who comply with such do so out of poverty, and of cos they feel that fucking the man of the house has raised their status, to them it is a privilege. Only dirty men will stoop low to wanna fuck his maids. Haba..how bad can it get? When there are many babes looking for someone to fuck them for free outside.
For the sake of peace, assume your husband is right and your maid is wrong. Infact drop the issue and dont talk about it again. Watch his reaction. Soon he will come and beg you.
DeleteIf you can't avoid having a live-in Househelp, maybe you should an elderly woman who will be coming in every morning and evening to help relieve the work load.
If you bring in another maid even if she is 16years, anything can happen.
Apply wisdom in your decisions. It is well.
Poster ngbo u want to leave? U no serious ontop lack of evidence? The thing that struck me is when u said he has turned it to vex, I don't even know if I suspect my hubby but he is dodgy as hell. If u attempt to question him it must turn to VEX. Are all men programmed like this or just those with something to hide. I'm not joking o, every single time u ask about his movemenr prepare for a fight and malice for days. So I try not to ask at all, find my own joy anywhere; hanging with friends, playing with my kids, cooking, books, movies, all djoin. So advice to u, until u catch him red handed let it die. BUT BE ALERT. Finito
DeleteMadam chill. Welu oche nodu ani. Oya take iced water lol. Try and investigate first. Give hubby some benefit of doubts. Watch him closely. Does he sleep around or is it this one incident? Take it dat d devil wanted to work but lost d battle. Biko, mbok don't leave ur marriage cos of this. Ur maid fled b/cos she dint want ur marriage to crash, she fled cos she dint wanna get involved. Y then are u roping Her into this mess? U are indirectly involving her. Madam I'd advice u stay in ur marriage and watch hubby closely. Have tangible reason 4 leaving if u must leave. #Belle
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing to watch, d man is silly!!
DeleteThere's nothing to watch o! Men aint stupid. Men of modern days will keep galfriends which they see regularly and still get home 9pm latest.
DeletePoster, ur maid isn't lying. And I respect her for choosing to respect you, ur husband and ur marriage. Pursing the matter further will lead to more problems. So be calm and prayerful. Just let oga know that u know. That's enuf to keep him away from your future helps. And be vigilant. May God restore ur marriage and ur home in Jesus' name.
There's nothing to watch o! Men aint stupid. Men of modern days will keep galfriends which they see regularly and still get home 9pm latest.
DeletePoster, ur maid isn't lying. And I respect her for choosing to respect you, ur husband and ur marriage. Pursing the matter further will lead to more problems. So be calm and prayerful. Just let oga know that u know. That's enuf to keep him away from your future helps. And be vigilant. May God restore ur marriage and ur home in Jesus' name.
#just passing by jor. I nefa marry no fit advice. *siping ribena wt straw w8ing 4 beta gist
ReplyDeleteBest comment
Deletedon't think the maid is lying but its good that you now know the kind of man you are married to. I can't tell you what to do but just be careful .
ReplyDeleteStella of life! U don sit on ma comment again ds morn #Godiswatchingyou
ReplyDeleteDejavu. Hmmmm. Same thing happened to me about 4 years ago, went to osogbo for a secondary school friend's wedding and left my husband, kids and help at home, help left the second night to go stay with my mom till I got back cos my husband wouldn't allow her sleep, he denied it and swore on his life, my mom begged the help, paid her almost 3 months worth salary and told her to leave, she told me to sit my husband down, let him know that I believe the help and let her go to save him the embarrassment of living with her because she won't respect him anymore, I put it all behind me like nothing happened, about a year later my husband confessed and apologised. All is well now, no help since then, we just share the chores.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I would advise. Men will always deny. Give the help money for being honest with you. Move on with your marriage. Pray harder. No more helps. Love your husband. Remenber 'for better for worse'.
DeleteErmmm you used 'she' for your cousin.Pls let her leave your house asap as your husband is gonna move to her soon.I am talking from experience,ex husby did same to housegirl,housegirl never slept with him,ran away from the house like yours and then the goat started asking my sister for sex(We are just 2 girls from my parent,my sister is all I have) my sister told me and I almost killed her calling her a liar until she recorded their conversation and sent me a voice note.The house we live in is mine,i have sent the goat packing and live alone with my sister now.Sister for life,that randy goat almost caused trouble between us.
ReplyDeleteSigh
Send your cousin away from d house 1st then we will take it from there
Same tin myfrnd in school during our nysc was diagonised of hiv but I stood by her,she was my chief brides made I was in my village alrdy waiting for d arrival of hubby frm abj he was to drive down with chief brides maid to lokoja only for him to be begging her for sex dat he shld lodge her in a hotel
DeleteShe shld tel me she cnt make it 4d wedding he was to give her 150k evn upgraded it to 200k her phone she recorded every but didn't tel me til after my wedding she said she cldnt bc of d way I stood by her during for her health issues many friends wld hv ran away wen she was said to have hiv,just imgine dat kind of husband I wished she had told me befor d marriage. Wldnt have gone ahead my marriage crashed this january I got married in june last year just 2monts after my wedding the bastard startd complaining dat I was barren we went for several medical test to prove myslf stil the 4th month he startd asking a grl downstairs for sex dat I am barren he needs a child dat man showd me hell I was comfortble I had all I wantd but I had no peace no joy in d marriage this man has 4fones I have just 1 number he wasn't lyk. Dis during courtship we courted for 2years after marriage I became a slave I was told to stop work,stop internet so many restrictions mydear my dad came and tuk me away wen. It bcme 2much
Wrong move, u sent ur man packing and ur leaving wth ur sister!! Tomorrow ur sister wll go n marry n u wll be left alone
DeleteAnon 2:16, are you dense. So to stay married she should be with a man that will sleep with anything. What is wrong with some of you?
DeleteAnon 2.16pm....any man that wants to sleep with his wife's sister is pure evil and deserves no chance....for what na! Its the same as sleeping with your husband's father....To stay married is not the end of the world, respect is important too. Last I checked, women never finish for outside, so why the sister?
DeleteAnon1:15pm. That ur friend is a nice and God fearing babe. She should av allowed him contract the virus with the 200k he was begging to give her. If not that u would have also contracted it too. She should have dashed him the HIV for free, useless man.
DeleteThank God for u o...ur wedding gift would have been hiv...
DeleteThank goodness you have a good maid. I think your maid is saying the truth. Well I will advise you to move on and be wise from now cos I think your husband will likely still cheat on you.
ReplyDeleteCeeCee
Madam i don't want to castigate you but you are partly to blame, why bring a grown arse woman in your house in the name of having help? Men are naturally randy he-goats and the constant close proximity must have aroused his intrest(along with his other tin). Please, just take heart and move on. Stay in the marriage and don't bring another help into your house
ReplyDeleteLast year, my husband wanted to sleep with my maid, she told me everything, I felt betrayed not becos I don't know he is a useless faggot, he left all his useless whores outside and came to my little maid, dat we both brought from d village together, dis girl carried all my children, she is just a part of me, a girl dat knows everything about my children, I felt so bad, becos I am forced to send her back to d village and d house work is all mine, Well let me say my mind now, I can never forgive or forget and I can never give him respect, na him go take his hand ask for divorce.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! Things women go through*surprised* na cloth dey cover all our secrets.may God help u madam.
DeleteIts not easy, but pls forgive him.Women need a lot of wisdom to manage randy husbands, honestly..
DeleteMy dear just like me. Saw a msg in hubbyz fone whr he told a lady how much he loved her etc. Confronted him dis morning and he claimed it was a joke! Can u imagine! D love I have 4 him has totally dwindled. Men! Tufia!
ReplyDeleteLWKMDD!! Joke?!. Men are SICK walahi.
DeleteEeyahh....Anon 1:36pm...sorry dear...dont even know wht to say....just live ur life for urself and ur kids not for any man...it is well..
DeleteYeah! Some men are pigs
DeletePossible the help is saying the truth. I don't put anything past these men. At least not that a pastor wants to come and pray in your house and your help decides to leave. But madam, na who you catch for hand, na im be thief. Since you did not catch this one, oya open your eyes and ears wide from now on. Very soon, you will be able to catch who wan thief meat from the pot. Oga being your chief suspect. But its not enough to leave your home. Just de manage am de go.
ReplyDeleteWomen, you shld take extra care inother to keep ur home, do whteva it taks to always get ur mans attention cuz believe me, in d world today women out numbers men, so the competition is toomuch
ReplyDeleteMy dear ur husband did it but u hv 2 take it easy. In my case I didn't even sleep out..I went for a friend's baby dedication &dis 13yrs old girl(my neighbour) came 2 visit me,she was washing plates in d kitchen wen my hubby carried her 2 d bedroom..I trusted dis man more dan I trust myslf.my advise is dat u must knw dat all men are cheats therefore dnt trust him wit d opposite sex.
ReplyDeleteJesus! 13 years old! Ha! God is ur strength o, Madam. The things some men do can make dia wives run mad!
DeleteJesus! 13 years old! Ha! God is ur strength o, Madam. The things some men do can make dia wives run mad!
DeleteAre you saying he rated that little girl. Your husband should be in jail!
DeleteJesus. Christ!13 years old? What. Is wrong with our men?
DeleteAnon 2:14pm.....13yrs bawo??? all dis stories sef be like nollywood movies....
DeletePoster u knw ur 'horseband' &what he's capable of.. Just be wise in ur decision.
ReplyDeleteHi Stella; please could you join in reorienting Nigerians that the terms, HOUSE-GIRL, HOUSE-MAID, MAID, HOUSE-HELP, HOUSE-BOY, HOUSE-GIRL are EQUAL to the terms HOUSE-SLAVE, HOUSE-NIGGER? These are VERY offensive, degrading terms that MUST be replaced with the DIGNIFYING term, HOUSE-KEEPER. SO MANY NIGERIANS USE THESE TERMS without realising just how demeaning and humiliating they are.
ReplyDeleteWe must learn not to take the dignity out of a house-keeping job because this is one of the ways to encourage persons in that field to do their jobs with a conscience and withoit resentment. I mean, not many people will be happy on a job where the very tag of it describes them as lesser beings. Food for thought...food for thought.
Wen we sey housemaid,we don't sey it with an intention to demean. I guess it s just part of our cultur-language dat we grew up with. Howeva,I'll intentionally try to use Housekeeper from now on and also correct odas.
DeleteDo u want t quit ur marriage cos he almost got down wt ur house help or cos he has bn getting down wt oda ladies? Giv him d benefit of doubt sha n watch his moves closely although I believe dere isn't smoke wit out fire; ur hubby is probably nt telling u d truth. Dere's likely more t wot d h\help revealed.
ReplyDeleteM---E---N
ReplyDeleteAs far as say na "hole" dem go like insert dier "rod" inside. smh... But madam if u have being neglecting ur bedroom chores lately, methinks u shud sit asap before one desperate chic replaces u. U r lucky ur h\help has a conscience, d next u for hear be say she don carry belle.
My sister its not sex, they are just pigs!
DeleteThe battle is of the lord and not of you poster.. Do you think it was by your power the house help rejected his offer (if the allegation is true sha) and haven't given in to a secret affair with him? Just keep praying, same God who exposed him. Will do more for u.. This is never enof reason to leave ur matrimonial home pls... Tell me that man u wanna marry that is a saint if not for some that are besieged by God's Grace.. Its for better for worse so c'mon, take a chill pill.. You didn't reason like one who loves her man, have u forgotten they cld be frame up? U even trust ur house help more than the man u shld trust.. She tld u wtout prove and u wanna break thru? Ndo for u dear.. Pls i beg u to take things easy ooo.. Do u know a smart innocent husby cld possibly accuse u of being lesbian mates with ur house help to have given her such attention than ur husby.. No one knows the truth except for God, ur husby, and house help... Commit everything to God provided your man is still giving you all the attentions like bfr. #GodBless
ReplyDelete@i_ChoPtas_Not
My dear stella this is the same predicament one of my cousins is in oh, her 13year old househelp ran away from their house to my cousins parents house and reported to the parents that my cousins husband was arranging with his sales girl to talk her to a hotel to disvirgin her after the husband has been sexually harrasing her. Becos of that the help ran away when they called family meeting and asked the man he denied; the sales girl confessed to setting it up but denied the invlovement of her boss. Now my cousin is so depressed she doesnt know who to believe and feels very betrayed.
ReplyDeleteIn an attempt to preserve her madam's marriage, Whistle blower has effectively ruined it.
ReplyDeletePoster, do you have any evidence to prove your husband's infidelity? Don't you think this might be a deliberate attempt for your ex-housemaid to ruin your marriage by giving false allegation against your husband? Don't you know you have enemies that would do anything to ruin your marriage; even planning this episode with your ex-housemaid? Have you considered the possibility? Before you jump into the general conclusion that *men are dogs*, be wise in your analysis because this is a very delicate situation and if not handled properly will end up in an unnecessary break-up. Be wise.
@ memphis Tah!
DeleteGaan sit down.
Poster, u had better start using condom.
Most naija men seem nt to av regards for marriage.
Na d 1 wey u know u done ear so.
What of d 1 wey u no ear or see.
All d underG moves outside ur home.
If I were u,
I wld conc on my kids n career(nt denying ur hubby of ur wifely duties n yet protectin ursef)
Plz do not monitor is movement dia is nothing mo to prove.
Look good for ursef
Make good use of a red lipstick
And don't forget to take a cup of chilled bournvita sipped wit a tiny straw(act lik u don't give a damn)
Life continues!
Am sendin u hugs!
@ memphis Tah!
DeleteGaan sit down.
Poster, u had better start using condom.
Most naija men seem nt to av regards for marriage.
Na d 1 wey u know u done ear so.
What of d 1 wey u no ear or see.
All d underG moves outside ur home.
If I were u,
I wld conc on my kids n career(nt denying ur hubby of ur wifely duties n yet protectin ursef)
Plz do not monitor is movement dia is nothing mo to prove.
Look good for ursef
Make good use of a red lipstick
And don't forget to take a cup of chilled bournvita sipped wit a tiny straw(act lik u don't give a damn)
Life continues!
Am sendin u hugs!
I'm so sorry that you have to find yourself in that situation woman. Your husband lacks self control. Some men are so nasty, that even if you bring in a fat old wrinkled woman, they'd still try it on. I know it'd be hard to trust him after this, but this situation that youjust described is very rampant. A lot of women are going through it, and they dont even realise it sef. Thank God for revealing it to you. I don't agree with leaving, cos of the kids. Take protective measures, and dont bring young girls/women to your house. Hire older helps who have homes they'd be scared of losing cos you can't do it on your own oh.
ReplyDeletePut your husband's lack of discipline in prayers, but let this go, cos you'd never find evidence that he can't deny.
I agree wit u anon 3.49pm
DeleteWe thank God for your maid o. Be wise in this matter please
ReplyDeleteNa wa oo. These men n der prick sha! Issshhh.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I always tell women if ur husband likes them slim for instance, then never employ a slim maid. Your maid should be FAT and UGLY. And always be fully dressed.
I once had a neighbour who's maid use to wear bum shorts around. And the madam didn't see anything wrong with it.
And if u no that anything goes for ur husband, then pls get an old maid like 50+
Them they well.
Men sleeping with house help issue is real o. I know a celeb (I know go put name) who's marriage ended because he was sleeping with maid and he even went and got her a house after the wife chased her out.
Well sha my advice is if your husband is good and treats you well, then maybe you should just forgive him. Pretend nothing happened and be good to him. The quilt will eat him up. Also I hope you are giving him enough ? Cause some women be doing timetable for sex. Hmmm..
You were only gone one day! Your sex life should be such that he'll be storing up energy for tomorrow knowing that when you come back he must fire.
Haha I love myself! *Grinning*
Think of it you may just need to change one or two things. I've heard some men say they won't cheat if they get more sex at home. I'm not saying be a sex machine oo. I'm just saying be your husbands' "slut".
Also many women these days ve turned house help to wife in the house. House help will cook oga's food, serve oga's food, make oga's bed, fold oga's cloth etc.
wetin come remain na? No be to they fuck house help.
Poster I'm not referring to you oo. Just general advice. Women please respect your husband and keep your home.
The poster is lucky she got a good one. Some of this maids leave their village sef with the their mother's telling them go and marry big man in Lagos.
Why must all the bad things nigerian men do be a womans fault??? Ah ah im tired!!!
DeleteYeah rite!
DeleteA fragile old maid
Dat wld add to ur chores
As per ur house don turn old ppl home #SMH
Flo-flo Dis ur advice really strong!
Yeah rite!
DeleteA fragile old maid
Dat wld add to ur chores
As per ur house don turn old ppl home #SMH
Flo-flo Dis ur advice really strong!
There r 3 situations that will make a man approach his househelp.
ReplyDelete1. He is broke and cant afford ashawo
2. The house girl is sexier than madam
3. The man is a he goat and is not getting enough from madam and is broke
Madam which is it?
Dr. Oke(rat)
DeleteAm sorry to say dis
U need a brain transplant!
I don't mind offsetting 50perct of ur hosp bill.
Yawns @ ur attempt on trying to be funny.
Pink shell I'm talking about strong village women oo. Must of them are widows with kids to take care of so they are usually hard working. My friend has one cause her husband is randy. He doesn't even like seeing the mama so she sends her to bed early before he comes back home. And she's off Saturday to resume Monday morning unless she ask her to stay dat weekend if she's going to be out. Talk if peace! She even makes the woman cook, but of cause oga does not know.
Delete@Flo......u never see men wey go form *i dont like seeing her* and dem go still dey knack the woman for corner.....
DeleteWhen I hear these stories I get so pissed!!! The world is indeed a man's world,when a woman is in her twenties every one gets worried when she will get married,she marries and she has to bear children (or she's barren),still look and dress nice for d husband( or he says when I saw you,you were not like this),still keep the house neat(or she's a dirty pig),still be a working woman(or she's a liability),fuck d man every night(or he uses it as an excuse to sleep with anything in skirt),prepare his food,wash his cloth(if the maid does it then you're not a good wife) So that's how women will suffer till they get to the grave!!!! Hian!!!! This tin tire me ooooo!!!!! Bia nne,your husband is lying,period!!!! You just have to move on with your life as if nothing happened and get closer to your kids and take care of yourself jare.....Ps. don't get another help,share the house chores so he knows how invaluable helps are,nonsense!!!!!!
ReplyDelete@Mrs Eme: I lyk ur PS. True talk, ma'am
DeleteNot to be judge and jury but you all know the man is guilty. Guys please don't come and form he might be framed. Sure! Madam you need to watch this man. All of you saying try not to bring maids lol, your husband has co workers, he has friends and just girls on the streets. Will you monitor those ones as well? If you like swing and cook and do whatever to "keep" your husband. If he is not disciplined, he will sleep with any available lady. Stop embarrassing yourselves ladies. You know the dogs you married, protect yourself from diseases and psychos and manage cause for you to marry him means you were ready to put up with his useless behavior.
ReplyDeleteI wish one day you will realize that being a mans slut will not keep him at home, it is up to the man to stay in one place and not you. Whether you starve a man, he is not a dog...he will stay and complain till you answer. Do you as a woman stray because your husband is uncaring and does not provide? Abeg all of you should comot.
My dear he did it. Believe it or not this issue of men and domestics is a very old and common one in our society. And sweetheart its not ur fault. Forget everyone saying u didnt nack him well or stay at home. Hes just bad. Pls just think it thru well. I will not advise u to leave him but send the girl away with some good money. Afterall she was good to u. Then watch ur man. Maybe u get a come and go person. Just look for a mutually beneficial solution. One that keeps him away from ur domestics and gives u peace of mind. Good luck
ReplyDeleteI have a friend whose sister's maid ran too..now the guy is facing my friend.sends her message like"I want to feel my dick inside your pussy"on Facebook,didn't believe till she showed me...worst part,she can't tell her sister
ReplyDelete@anon 6:20pm......the lady should threaten d guy that she will show d messages to her sister nah.......which kind man be dat???
DeleteSDK ate my comment. Oponu ode.
ReplyDeleteBuhahahaha!
DeleteMama zino yaff suffer frm una hand ooo.
Anony kpele, take paracetamol for ur pains hehehe!
OMG!
Leave him, he did it, and has no respect for you.... what would you be staying with him for? So he can humiliate you some more... next time he will give you a deadly STD.
ReplyDeleteSdker bouncer you are an arse, a goat and a complete total idiot.....am sure your mouth is positioned in your anus.....dullard who cannot read.....oshi omo
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with Nigerian women? Must you always demean yourselfs cos of marriage? Low self esteem under the guise of religion and women are more than men.....stupid queen Amy you call what happened a silly excuse ? You are totally stupid.....if you tell a woman to remain in her marriage cos God hates divorce that I can understand, but stop trivializing issues.......sleeping with a housemaid is not a small matter.....people get house helps cos they need them and if a man cannot control himself then he needs his head examined.....how many women will you prevent from coming near your husband? How long will you keep monitoring him.....men who cheat have self esteem problem , lack self control, indiscipline and lack maturity.......stop blaming women and giving them the burden of acting like bionic women cos they have to always be the best, do everything right and be super woman so oga with the dick head will not cheat......poster, take care of your self, kids and let him know he is a disgrace and you will not tolerate his infidelity....lt him be responsible for himself and if his cheating ways get too much for you then leave the marriage.......at least adultery is the only reason God allows divorce....women cannot kill themselves for men, they should go and die....
ReplyDeleteSo oga attempt. Everybody dey complain. I have a neighbour who has 3 blood sisters as wives. And dey all have kids for him. It all started by spending long holidays, and all of a
ReplyDeleteSudden see belle dey grow. The original wife did not divorce Oo.
Anon 8:19pm......kai...stop dat super story u are telling......too hard to believe..abeg
DeleteMen and their cheating ways. I had caught my husband cheating and It broke my heart. We had been married for 6 years with 2 beautiful kids. A son and a daughter. I remember crying myself to sleep for several nights. After that I decided to focus more on me. I started going to the gym 4 times a day and really started to create my own happiness. My shape became banging hot from all my work out at the gym and my skin started to glow from all the attention I was paying to it. When I noticed he refused to change from his cheating ways, I made a decision. I had a very satisfying fling with a single and very handsome and well mannered guy I work with. Till this day he never told a single soul or even gave anyone a clue that there was anything going on between us. When I broke off the fling, he begged and begged me to let us continue and became very withdrawn and sad when I insisted I was no longer comfortable in an affair with a coworker. He said he had developed feelings and couldn't just walk away that easily. I never gave him money or helped him in any way. We just had an affair. Imagine this was a very handsome and single guy that could have any girl he wanted o. His begging alone boosted my self esteem by 1000 times. I stopped hassling my hubby about his going and coming. I didn't care anymore. I was living my life and happy. There was less argument and fighting in my home. He thought he had his perfect little family together and we were actually happy.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately for cheating hubby, my ex, the first love of my life contacted me on what's app. He lives in Canada now and we are having a full blown relationship. He never married and even wants to take it further than that but I've told him I'll never leave my hubby. He loves his kids too much and they are also crazy about their father. Not seeing him everyday will be too devastating to them. So I will stay with him and remain happy as long as my real boo and I are together. Please don't judge me if you never walked in my shoes.
Hi5 joor.....your head dey there....correct woman!
DeleteReminds me of this song: treat her like a Lady you'll make a good girl crazy if you Dont treat her like a lady...that said Lady ....u know you need to slow down on the extracurriculars?
DeleteStop hun...it ain't healthy
No judgment on my part dear. Men need to realize they don't have a monopoly on cheating!
DeleteMy dear as long as you're taking good care of your 2 kids carry go. Some men are not worth any kind of loyalty
DeletePoster i dont blame you for doing what makes you happy. I know some people will say 2 wrongs don't make a right but men sometimes need a taste of their own medicine. If they can dish it they should be able to take it.
DeleteI can't even judge u madam!
DeleteHands her a handshake.
I wld do d same in ur shoes.
D oly diff btw me n u is,
I wldnt hide it frm him(puttin it in mind dat am ready to live his house)
Na tit for tat ooo!
My husband molested my 13 year old maid and the love I felt for him suddenly turned to hatred,I'm about to have the affair of the century with my ex,sometimes I feel bad because I vowed never to cheat on my husband,but what can I say? Never say never.
DeleteI wont judge u guys biko....some men are fools...
DeleteDid he make moves on ur househelp? Very likely, so my advice is this...face your children, face yourself (sotay he will wonder why you are so happy & glowing all the time) so that you don't develop hpb oh cos today it's your help, tomorrow it can be the neighbour's daughter.
ReplyDeleteI won't blame you for employing a mature girl as a help (we can't do it all; nobody can ) na your randy husband that should be blamed.
A thought just crossed my mind now. What if ur maid just made up the story? I know men commit a lot of atrocities this days dat makes it hard to bliv them. But I don't trust all dis maids too. I personally won't bliv anything anyone tells me about my man until I see with my eyes. Why didn't she call u from the house to report him? If she's really trying to save ur home then she should ve shot the F up and just be gone! All dis girls maybe she's been giving oga face and he's not sending her. Meanwhile the thing is scratching her ! Where's the girl from sef? If she's Akwa Ibom pls don't even bother.
ReplyDeleteIf u end ur marriage because maid said oga made passes at her, what's the guarantee the next man u'll meet won't make passes at ur sister or even daughter (God forbid).
Biko ignore abeg. How many person wan count? The most important thing is love and respect. If those two are present , then case settled.
If I share some househelp gist here ehn, people will be like its home video. Moreover all my friends be yarping me tomorrow cause identity blown. Hahahaha
*sipping my baileys wit ice jeje jare*
Dat is why dey will continue to fuck ur hubby until shez preggie den u will know wats going on, by den dat smoke will be difficult to hide...mumu kip playn ignoramus and sippn ir bailey wif ice till it chokes u...nonsense
DeleteIt's obvious who the mumu is between u n I. Fool ve I mentioned I'm married? Monkey banana u just open ur mouth and abuse people anyhow. When ur mama no train u
DeleteHold on, how come you believe the help over your husband? Has he done something previously that caused you to question his fidelity? It seems he's created distrust in your marriage which could lead you guys down a very rocky road in your marriage. However, as painful and heart breaking as it may be you can't make a life changing decision over hear say. Remember you have children together. I suggest you keep a watchful eye to get full proof before you make a concrete decision.
ReplyDeleteClick my name to find out what happens between oga and the help.
Some men na wa. It's true when they say an erect penis no get conscience. Hana ur house keeper?
ReplyDeleteFlo, respect means a man will not embarrass you like that to your help or others. This man not only made passes at the maid, he is denying. If the maid was hitting on him, he would have sent her off a long time ago...out of RESPECT for his wife. Please you ladies should be thinking. Let these men not be using you ladies heads to play ball.
ReplyDeleteLwkm@Dr.Oke(rat),this thing is becoming a trend in Nigeria.I watched an episode of deadly affairs on CI where a sucessful medical doctor whose wife was also a successful medical doctor murdered his wife so he could continue sleeping with a receptionist and at times like I'm lost for words....just plain speechless...MEN WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? I ask.
ReplyDeletemy husband did the same thing four years ago and till date i have not allowed him to touch me. i also don't care what he does with his life. my first maid left after two weeks, i got another one who wanted to leave after a month and confessed that she was being harassed by my husband. since then i have not been able to employ another one. i am a working woman and the man sits at home doing nothing. i have gone ahead to have an affair for the last three years. we are still married but don't care what each other does.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteanonymous 8:25 i completely feel you my dear......i have endured about 4 affairs from hubby and i have decided to move on with my life. i had decided to also have an affair but honestly could not bring myself to do it even when i found myself in a room with the guy who was also married......he also was not enjoying his marriage....i just could not sleep with him even as we spent the night together and i hated that i could not pay my husband back in his own coins...i have lost all respect and my love is waning but i try to remain civil and still do my bit as a wife..its a very hard road to walk...for me it is my relationship with God that keeps me remaining faithful to my marriage. God hates adultery and its alot of work to remain faithful when your spouse has no regards for the marriage covennant....i pray God continues to give me the grace to keep his word and i pray your husband turns a new leaf before its too late....what ever happens just be careful and ask God to help restore your home....i know exactly what you mean
ReplyDeleteflo you are very stupid....idiotic woman with low self esteem....pls stop commenting on this blog cos your brain is totally empty
ReplyDeleteYet another idiot!! Stella abeg where u see all dis children with no home training sef? It's called my opinion!! If u don't agree, u can simply say so, ignore or go and die!!
DeleteBut u obviously don't ve a rational mind so u can not comprehend that!
Poster,,,,ur maid is obviously telling the truth and dont ever expect ur hubby to accept what he did.....NO MAN WILL EVER DO THAT,,,,,the only thing i find so disgusting here is the fact that ur hubby didnt respect you,,,even if he wanted to "catch his trips" outside,,,he shouldnt do it right under ur nose an with someone who doesnt even match up with u(ur maid).......However,,i dont think this is enough reason for you to leave ur marriage,,,just try to put the whole thing behind you(HBP is real),,take measures to avoid future occurrence....and keep a eye on ur hubby......if i may ask,,,why employ a maid that is fit to be a wife too(i mean her age)???u should have employed a younger girl or an elderly woman...(my opinion).....kpele ooo
ReplyDeleteMs Zulu ...when he starts f*** teh boys to nko? what then
ReplyDeleteThe man is just scum and there is no reason to stay with a man who will continue to abuse your trust in that manner
Its unfortunate really
ReplyDelete