A LETTER FROM MAMA TOPE TO ENGLISH TEACHER
Dear teaser, I am greet you but it is not with all my heart that i have do it. But teaser why,
this ya act is very idiomatic expression. Why did you give my pikin tolu 3 over 1?
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Hian!
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Nigeria was never on the map when God said LET THERE BE LIGHT –Winston Churchill 1945
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The one that made me really laugh is this could be us but your mouth odour na die,kai so funny
ReplyDeleteAll r funny.. Had to save some for my bbm dp!!! Steallicious Stella thanks for d laughs!!
DeleteNice one. I laughed out loud at the mouth odour joke. Some people's breadth can actually stink like a fart; and such people love to wanna whisper to you. I wonder why....
ReplyDeleteLike Linda eze,s husband,s breath
DeleteLwkmd..what a relief,i needed this to cool off steam,been rat-racing all week long,it Port Harcourt Makeup Fair today,10am@ iCemema,stadium rd,open till 6pm. Also it's Anita and Pee's wedding next week..yippie! Eleme girls rock! At least,something good comes out of facebook.
ReplyDeleteP.S; Sira my namesake,if you read this pls do call me back,i messed up saving your number and saved a wrong one instead,thankssss
LMAO! That Me when. Get home own tho, I will be so comfortable outside but the minute I get home my Jeans will start itching as if chuku chuku is inside, and I start off loading so fast,lol
ReplyDeleteLol @Nuvi honey. Me too! Can't explain it. The same thing happens to my bra. The relief from stripping off jeans and unfastening my bra strap can't be explained.
DeleteOlori
Thank u sdk, dis really made me laugh. Hubby is really annoying his sister is just a witch its a pity he cant see instead he blames me for everything, and to think am in my first trimester i do all d whole work, d sister is sleeping and so many things...i am just tired i wish i can just walk out, just feel like dying.
ReplyDeleteIf his sister wasnt there, wouldnt u have still done the work? Its ur home not hers. So take of ur home and act like she aint there.
DeleteMy dear, I know its difficult for u especially as u are in ur last trimester! Just carry on ,pretend like she's not there, do the ones ur can and leave the rest for another day! remember its ur home.
DeleteMadam Stephanie she's in her first trimester.
DeleteIf she wasn't there it would just be poster and her hubby. But now she has an extra somebody to look after and she is in her first trimester. I beg show some love. It is not easy for her at the moment as she needs help.
DeletePoster don't make trouble though, just take things in your stride. Do what you can and leave the rest.
Na your sister in law turn one day. Ogodo ga eru nwanyi ebe oruru ibe ya
They're all really nice, bar d tribalistic one. Thanks Stella
ReplyDeleteClick my name for all your celebration cakes n cupcakes, Cheers
Lol
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed them all.
Thanks SDK
Lmao, d lady dt could tell time with her face is just so hilarious!!! Can't stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stells of life
Mrs J
Lmao. D nipples wey dey grow 4 back, firefox head, preggy with milk factory yeeeeeeh! How she take dey breath? Four bird room flat=NEST. Btw where i fit get that virgin again product? Now i know why some girls 're still claiming virgins lol.
ReplyDeletelmao....na so e dey do me o
ReplyDeleteThat one of the teacher cancelling the test is so true. But imagine when one is 'over ready' for the test and teacher cancels.
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella for the Saturday laughs.
D chinese pix got me rolling
ReplyDeleteNice one stella. I look forward to it every saturday
ReplyDeleteMehnnnn, I love every bit of dese laughs loool
ReplyDeleteBeen low since yesterday buh jst lafed on seein d saturday lafs,tnx stella. EVE E UME
ReplyDeleteI so lol
ReplyDeleteLol.
ReplyDeleteask your mother to get you help from the village if you feel the chores are too much for you. its your home, manage and take care of it MADAM!
ReplyDeleteI cant stand all these MADAMS that feel because you came to spend time in your brother's house(possibly rest from all the chores in your parent's house) that automatically makes you their new housegirl. Sit down and raise your legs nah while your house is dirty. You're waiting for your husband's sister to keep your house for you and you feel like dying, funny woman.
Thank You.. You just said my mind!
DeleteYou are clearly not married. I'm not the poster but I do know that each guest is extra work. My husband has cousins that leave plates for me to come wash, their shoes and things all over my house, pick all the meat out of soup and stew meant to last a week in a day and even move in girlfriends for months on end who add to the mess and absolutely refuse to help out. And I had no house help. Mind you, I have a job so I work, rush home to warm stew and make food and discover the nonsense. Hubby didn't act for months but one day, he just noticed and snapped. I had to beg him not to scatter ground. Now, we are getting rid of the last cousin and after that, no more. A visit of a few weeks that converted itself to tenancy. Marry first o then talk. You cannot come vacation in my house to escape chores ion mummy and daddy's house and add to my work. Mba.
DeleteFirst trimeseter where your belly is not yet showing and you're sounding this lazy and "dying". When you cannot see your feet anymore what will you do then? When you marry be prepared to take care of your house by yourself!!! If your inlaws come over they're there for hols and rest and if they choose to help, good. but if not, do it yourself!
ReplyDeleteAnon 12:34 and 12:40.
DeleteI strongly believe you are the same peeson.
I want to plead with you to be considerate. Do you know that the 1st trimester is usually the most difficult period for most pregnant women?
The sister Inlaw is being wicked and insensitive if she is in that house eating and sleeping without lifting a finger to do anything. If it's her own house won't she do chores?
If she wants to rest she should go to a damn hotel and lazy about. You can't come to someone's house and be a liability to that person just because it's your brothers house.
I have been in that lady's shoes so I can feel her pains. I currently have 2 of my brothers inlaw living with us. When they came initially, they weren't helping out in anything atall, even to wash the plates they used in eating. To bath sef na punishment to them. Imagine having morning bath around 5pm. Even help put on the gen or help the gateman wash cars they won't.
They would rather sleep, eat and watch movies the whole day. keeping the their toilet and bathroom clean was a big task for them. It was bad really.
I and my help were the ones doing all the chores in the house.
After sometime, I found out that I was no longer happy. Even my housegirl started complaining to me. These guys bad behaviour was something else (mind you they are not kids o, 1 is even older than me while the other is almost my age mate). They will sit in the sitting room and keep their legs on the coffee table. We all will be watching a programme and suddenly one if them will change channel wwithout permission. If you call them, they will rudely answer ''eeeehh"(so annoying). To the extent my kid started picking the habit of also answering ''eeeeehh'' too when called.
I had to call the 2 of them on day in front of hubby and warn them seriously. I told them all their fuck ups to their face. Even hubby was stunned and ashamed when I listed their fuck ups. I then assigned each of them duties and warned them to abide by all the rules of the house or they should jejely carry their bags and get the hell out of my house.
Since then, there has been peace. Every one does their duties properly. There is now proper division of labour in the house and we all are living happily, no one is feeling cheated. Then their rudeness has also disappeared. I now have peace of mind and I don't feel resentment for them anymore unlike before.
1 million likes for this comment
DeleteMe likey! Nice comment
DeleteLmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ReplyDeleteSaturday of a thousand laugh everyone always look forward to.... I sure laughed and still laughing and will still laugh again.. Thanx aunty stella for such healthy tips "Laughter"
ReplyDelete@i_ChoPtas_Not
So I Smoked weed for the first time last night(just for the heck of it and the sake of experience)I was disappointed to find that the high isn't all that its cracked up to be...Shiit,I hated the feeling,felt like there were like 15 needles constantly pricking my eyes,couldn't keep my eyes open...boyfy said it would make me excited,I would laugh uncontrollably at everything and feel like I'm flying.,didn't experience none of that...in fact he was the one acting looney but I was confused because I couldn't tell if he was acting fucked up on purpose just to mess with my head and to make me think I'm fucked up too...or he was actually fucked up from the ganja high.The only funny thing was how I forgot I was on on diet and devoured one huge cake that had been lying in d fridge since God knows when....
ReplyDeleteBut I gotta tell ya about the sex brethren....sheesssssh...the sex was mind blowing,we fucked like pornstars, got me speaking in all kinds of tongues!
Overall,now that I have the not so enjoyable experience,I wouldn't be trying it again!......NewBie!
Omg! Lol! My first time was crazy too.I laughed a lot! Ate like jonathan banned food!. But was not horny at all. My guy said it was d most booooring sex eva.I told him all my fears and a lot more. I was dissapointed and was like , is this d highness peeps talk about? Like wtf! I couldn't move whr I was. Standing, he had to carry me to d restroom and cleaned up 4 me. Was like 3 or more ppl were in me. Evrytg I tot of,I said it out. Like literarily vpoicin out ur tots.was not in control of my self. Felt like I was conscious but unconscious. Neva tried it again aftrwards. Crazy I tel u!
DeleteLol
ReplyDeleteAla nwanyi Asaba
ReplyDeleteLmao
So I Smoked weed for the first time last night(just for the heck of it and the sake of experience)I was disappointed to find that the high isn't all that its cracked up to be...Shiit, In fact I hated the feeling,felt like there were like 15 needles constantly pricking my eyes,couldn't keep my eyes open...boyfy said it would make me excited,I would laugh uncontrollably at everything and feel like I'm flying.,didn't experience none of that...in fact he was the one acting looney but I was confused because I couldn't tell if he was acting fucked up on purpose just to mess with my head and to make me think I'm fucked up too...or he was actually fucked up from the ganja high.The only funny thing was how I forgot I was on on diet and devoured one huge cake that had been lying in d fridge since God knows when....
ReplyDeleteBut I gotta tell ya about the sex brethren....sheesssssh...the sex was mind blowing,we fucked like pornstars, got me speaking in all kinds of tongues!
Overall,now that I have the not so enjoyable experience,I wouldn't be trying it again!......NewBie!
We care. We really do.
DeleteToo funny. Lol.
ReplyDeleteStella those rubber dolls ehn...if u press them, they will whistle..peeeeeeeeeinnnn.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha....I burst out laughing seeing them.
And then the cassette and pencil....buahahaha...na to carry the pencil rewind or fast forward o!
Omg! Had a good laugh. Well done babes.
Poster don't mind the lazy in law. Such things pisses me off. To think you are preg again. I for don provoke honestly and blame it on preg hormones. Mtchewww
ReplyDeleteI just hate it when people can use their church mind. You are in someone's house, u can't even help to sweep n mop the floor at least.
Time for food now, she won't be lazy to get up and eat. . namsense.
*can't
ReplyDeletei don laugh tire........heeeheh Stella u re d lady.........nd u wey smoke weed come dey tell us,make we clap for u ni?...shio one dey weed go smoke u(like girlfriend like boyfriend)
ReplyDeleteLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteThis collection is one of the best. Thank u sdk.
ReplyDeleteThis collection is one of the best. Thank u sdk.
ReplyDeletelove the laffs section, people at work dont know why am smiling and laughing, and they wont find out.
ReplyDelete