If you find out your sibling is sterile and you have been one of the ones putting pressure on their spouse to get pregnant,what would you do?
If the spouse comes to you in tears to help her get pregnant and save the marriage..what would you do?Help out behind your brothers back,ask for permission from your brother to get his wife pregnant or just shut up in shock and back out?
what would you do if we have to go by the the rhyme ''if my brother's in trouble,i will always help him out,i will fight for his right,i will be there no matter where the trouble lies....if my brother is in trouble so am i..''
...So are you in or out?Help my Dear blog visitor out of his predicament.
Dear Stella,
Am in a state of confusion as I write this. Just last month, we had a naming ceremony for my third child. I have three boys. The whole family was here for the naming. My elder brother by four years has been married for eight years no children and his wife always calls me each time my mother or siblings put pressure on her to give them a child.
I always comfort her that they would surely have a child of theirs in God’s time. A week after the naming she called me and said she wanted to talk to me in private. She came to my office during my lunch hour and together we went to a nearby eatery. She moped on and on until she dropped a bomb shell. My elder brother is sterile. I thought that was all. She now suggested I get her pregnant since “we are all family”. And that my system is “full of boys”.
She actually pleaded and even shed tears. I was so shocked. I was so touched. I asked her if my brother knew of her plans but she said no and that he has refused to accept the results of different tests they had conducted.
Stella, should I tell my elder brother?
**stammering*....This is very tricky......its like a time bomb situation.you didnt explain what the 'help out' means......sleep with her or donate your sperm via IVF?
I swear down,i dunno what to say..maybe other blog visitors can help out with mature advice.
Don't tell ur brother and don't grant her request as well otherwise u will bring total enemity between u and ur brother. Be wise!
ReplyDeleteBest comments ever from STEPH . U said it all. I feel d woman pain but she should know better dat it cant b done.
DeleteLies Lies. Fake story made up by stella. Wanbe. Lind ikeji. But will never be. Ola mama
DeleteWell said steph.
DeleteThumbs up@ Stephanie................Always making me proud with your wise comments!!!
DeleteAnon 10::35am...thank you,at least i am trying to be like someone....WHO EXACTLY ARE YOU?
DeleteMy blog must be really giving u a headache,should i delete it and go into farm business?
SDK, no mind the faceless person.
DeleteHow body nah?
Why bring Linda Ikeji into this? Some people just like brewing trouble
DeleteDon't try it o, Well dis story get as e be
DeleteSerena willams takes it off again.....
@steph, I go with u on this one, well said
DeleteStella, u fall my hand o. Why did u reply that retard?
DeleteOla mama, how your ponmo market? Useless bitch. At least am proud of stella that she can make up a story to keep idle souls like you busy instead of scratching your itchy ponmo all day. Stella has made name for herself, who & what are you? Miserable ols cargo with no future ambition at your old age. You are so pained by stella's success why spying on her blog. By the way who made you a miserable blog judge, enemy of progress. If you are not a frustrated ashi show your name. Spy dis blog again make thunder fire your useless ashi mouth. Am Genny I.
DeleteSDK dear, u really don't need to answer to an anonymous who is too much of a coward to reveal him or herself. U are better than dat.
DeleteTo the poster, don't even consider the request of ur sis-in-law not to talk of granting it o. Women can be very cunny. Besides, how are u sure what she says about ur brothers sterility is true? If ur brother has a problem he wants u to know about, let him tell u himself. Don't let her create enmity between u and ur brother o.
Sassy Mum
Watched a movie like dat. It was d infertile man dat suqqested dat. Buh eventually dat was wat killed him. Bloq visitor don't do it. If dey can't hv children n ur broda is d one wif d prob. Its ur parents n siblinqs dat r makin life miserable 4 her ur broda shud tell dem d. Prob is from him not her. I c a stubborn man in ur broda, d fact dat he is not acceptin it is a biq prob. Run away from dat woman. She wants to wreck ur beautiful n peaceful home. Don't allow her steal ur joy pls.
Deletethis is to all the hater who like comeing to this blog to condemn it and compare it to linda ikeji's blog. If you dont like SDK, why do you even come to this blog at all? Stick with the one you like and stop coming here to write trash. And for your information, i prefer Stella's blog to Linda's own and have recommended it to many...
Deletedont sleep with her. If you want to donate semen, you can in a fertility clinic and your bros must be aware. Or you ejaculate into a container, give it to her to use syring and inject it into her ...
DeleteAlso, when you people come to SDK blog to post your problems, mind the amount of info you give. What your brother's wife told you is confidential but anyone who know your family and reads this will decode. Be cautious cos if people decode, another rumour will begin to spread about your in-law. I do feel her but her sleeping with you is wrong. Discuss with your brother then if necessary, donate sperm for them. And note that sperm cells die after some hours so as your donating, she should carry shapaly n go somewhere to insert it
Stella,stop answering these jobless anonymousmThey can build a shrine and place linda's picture in it if they lyk!I really don't understand why people are bent on making two successful women bitter enemies and it is unfortunate childish bastards who manage to buy the cheapest handset to browse
DeleteAn open letter to my brothers and sisters in SDK plus including SDK herself, please its high time we stop paying attention to d hopeless anon that keeps comparing SDK and linder, if he or she is ignored he or she will get frustrated and commit internet suicide. Please aunty stella if u ever reply dis faceless individual again I will not love u for a day.
DeleteHmmm!
ReplyDeleteThis one big pass me o
Please don't have sex with her,you will land yourself in trouble if you ever try it.
IVF might be an option if her husband agrees to it.
Na wah oh.
Please don't. You'll regret it trust me
DeleteLMFAOOOOOOOOO. This open letter killed me
People are answering d question d wrong way? Firstly, d guy should not sleep with her but why wud she go to him in d first place???
DeleteSecondly does d wife or her husband drink alcohol or smoke, they better start living a healthy life..
Thirdly, d mum shud leave d wife alone, a woman will find it hard to conceive when she is depressed especially wen libido is low..
Fourthly, d bro and d wife have a history, why wud she confide in him, why did d bro agree to meet d wife without talking 2 d Husband.
fifth, d husband shud put his health on check, if d wife doubts her husband, then she shud let d husband have unprotected sex with someone else.
STELLA, u f***** up, I never took u for a proud person.
@ Poster speak to your brother and suggest IVF with sperm donor or artificial insemination. They can either go to sperm bank or if your are comfortable, you can be a donor. Low sperm count is not the same as No sperm count, I believe in GOD of all possibilities their is not difficult for him to do!!!
ReplyDeleteyou have to tell your brother....he should stop being selfish and putting the woman through hell....he should get off his high horse and face his problem squarely in the face and stop being a coward......how dare he put her through all that stress? you should sit your brother down and tell him the home truth......i have been married 9 years and still trusting God for children.....the problem is not with my hubby or me cos they have not been able to tell me the cause of the 3 miscarriages so far. we have tried IVF 3 times yet nothing but you know what? i rejoice everyday and thank him for my children because i know he has done it....my husband was available to do all the test necessary and has been very supportive.....as a christian i will not advice you sleep with her, it is adultery plain and simple...you can however be a sperm donor for IVF since that will not involve you sleeping with her......your brother needs to be told to face his responsibility and stop allowing your sisters and mothers put undue pressure on your wife...you should thank her very well for not leaving your brother and going to look outside cos if it was the other way round most men will go outside and impregnate another woman without any remorse........am so sick and tired of women going through hell cos of childlessness....
ReplyDeleteU r very ryt....Pray God shud grant ur hrt desire soonest in Jesus name
DeleteYaron Allah
God bless u for your comment n grant u ur hrt desires...Amen
DeleteHis brother's sperm will still result in his brother's child. Woman find a donor outside. Your husband will resent you either way. Its better for you not to be linked to his family when the marriage breaks up over this.
DeleteFind a child outside ke....nd if un4tunately d child dosnt look like his mum nko...do u knw d trauma d child will face when he realize he dosnt knw d whereabout of his dad, what if ppl start asking questions since he dosnt look like any1....
Deletedo you or your hubby have a negative blood type? It can cause the kind of problem you are having. keeping trying. God bless you
DeleteWe have left out the poster's wife in this matter, Is she not human? Donating sperm to your brother and his wife is still the same as having a child outside.
DeleteAlso if the poster get his brother's wife pregnant, would the brother not ask his wife how she got pregnant? It didn't make any sense at all.
I advise u speak with ur elder brother about donating ur sperm for IVF, don't sleep with her behind ur brother knowledge, is bad and maybe ur tradition will forbid it as well
ReplyDeleteI advise u speak with ur elder brother about donating ur sperm for IVF, don't sleep with her behind ur brother knowledge, is bad and maybe ur tradition will forbid it as well
ReplyDeleteThe lady suggested he should help her and get her pregnant i.e sleeping with her I guess
ReplyDeleteSuch thing is very risky biko...I wouldn't advise him to go into such deal
The couple should out other options like adoption
Don't have sex with her,its an abomination....she and her hubby should find a way and sort out things....
ReplyDeleteGood morning Sdkers, just want to share a verse with u. Luke 1:45 ... We all should believe all things from d Lord, doubting nothing! Have a blessed day everyone...
ReplyDeleteIf u can jerk off and give her your seed , pls do so.
ReplyDeleteIts all in the family anyway.
Or you can tell your bro to adopt a child.
After all everyone have secrets.
Poster tell her to speak to her husband about it bur she shudnt mention to him ur discussion wit her. Let her husband be d 1 to mk d suggestion on d option of ivf frm u or a neutral donor or sleeping wit U or someother persn. But hope u won't rub it on ur brother's face in future &later wnt to claim the child(ren). *toughsituation*
ReplyDeleteYou see the problem with so many men is ego.
ReplyDeleteThe husband has even refused to admit he is the cause of the problem.
Now the worried wife who apparently loves him so much is the one breaking her head and being called names.
If I were the brother, I would have a family ,meeting with the rest of the immediate family first to discuss it leaving out the aspect of the lady asking him to "help out"
Let them all know their brother son is the problem and stop harassing an innocent woman.
Summon their brother/son and talk.... Whatever decision they come up with......I wish them all the best!
Dear poster if helping out means donating your semen for ivf! Then i dnt see any big deal why you cant help out!! But if its nacking tins i dnt subscribe 2 it all,evn if yur bro tells you 2 do it meeeeen kai its sumhw i swear.my 50cent tho
ReplyDeleteWhy na brother,why even think about helping out in the first place?This is your brother you are talking about here and his wife suggested that kind of stuffs,don't you think you should call your brother and ask him.what is happening? Women!why go to the elder brother for such,if you want children and you can't leave the man,go and adopt or look for someone very far to fire you or donate his sperm.
ReplyDeleteHow is she sure if you do it she would get pregnant? can you live with the guilt? Its not easy to be patient during trying times but God is a God of surprises, encourage her to talk to the right people and get her husband to start doing something about it.
I really look forward to your comments on this bog,your advice are always hilarious and matured,God bless you.
DeleteInfact I tire oh, of all men to go to,it had to be your brother in law.Lets even assume he gets you preggie and your husband discovers, How do you explain it? Haven't you destroyed your home? I feel you should feel very uncomfortable if your husband suggests you sleeping with his brother let alone you initiating it. If you are willing to keep this as a secret is he? think of the consequences and take your decision, God is still God.
DeleteYou don't have to sleep with her to help out, there is artificial insemination and there is IVF. What is all the noise about? And since she came to you, she trusted you, maybe it's about time to let the husband in on the plan. But don't sleep with your brother's wife I repeat again.
ReplyDeleteMy question is does d elder brother knows he is sterile or d lady jst concluded dt he is mayb cos she's gotten pregnant in d past but took it out.....but if the fault is from d elder bro, ild suggest IVF since they are same blood d child wld definately look like her or d yonger bro which will indirectly look like d husband...but sleeping with her is a big NO cos that's adultry( am not throwing stones nd saying am a saint o fro those voltrons dt wld wanna attack me) so talk 2 ur bro, if he accept IVF, go ahead, if he says that wld cost more money nd u shld do "kerewa" back out cos @ d long run, there will be enimity btw u too nd he wld always look over his shoulder thinking u still sleeping with her
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear poster i will advise you to talk to ur elder br and hear his own side of story before you conclude that he is the problem because we women can lie for Africa. what am saying is that it might be all drama to get u to sleep with her. on the other hand if its true advise your br on what to do, do not involve yourself or sperm unless u r ready to fight a future world war because it will definitely come. please let your wife know what is going on if you dont want an even bigger problem for yourself.
ReplyDeleteThey should go 4 artificial insemination.
ReplyDeleteStella, I luv ur personality. u published d anon 10.35am comment & responded calmly. Keep it up
How do women get to be so stupid, why won't this woman and her husband agree to get a sperm donor instead of trying to complicate their lives and open their selves up?
ReplyDeleteNawao
Things are happening!!! Mr poster don't you dare sleep with your brother's wife!!! tell them to go for artificial insemination . There is no way you can say you are helping your brother by sleeping with his wife, what kind of wicked help is that? even if your brother want's you to do it, DON'T!
ReplyDeletePlz don't sleep wit her biko, U can suggest IVF nd b a sperm donor to dem bro.
ReplyDeleteThis is an uncomfortable situation. Firstly I hope none of your friends or family read this blog, as you've revealed information that could easily identify you.
ReplyDeleteIt was quite bold of your brother's wife to approach you with such a proposition. I hope she hasn't been eyeing you secretly before now, and is just using this as a ploy to kill 2 birds with one stone. i.e., hopefully conceive and then carry on an affair with you, cos I can bet she wasn't asking you to be an arms-length sperm donor ( I believe she and her husband would have approached you for this). She wants you to sleep with her! Besides how does she plan to explain the pregnancy to her husband, as presumably, he knows he's sterile? I know people do strange things out of desperation, but this is going way too far!
I would not advice you to tell your brother about your discussion with his wife. Rather, in a round-about way, sensitively ask him what the situation is with them and if they've considered IVF, sperm-donation or adoption. Pls do not let him know that you know he's sterile!
Another thing, even if they opt for sperm-donation, I don't think it would be wise for you to be the donor. Better someone you guys do not know personally, for safety's sake. It may seem ideal for a close relative to donate, but these things have a way of back-firing in future.
I don't know how these things work in Nigeria. Do we have sperm banks where they screen people properly and do back-ground checks? If so, that's definitely the way to go.
What about the brother's wife?
ReplyDeleteIs her consent not also needed? Would she be happy about it?
See why women are their own worst enemy? She is not even considering her sil feelings!
His system made of all boys? See why there would also be male syndrome mentality?
Dear poster, my advise is ds simple n short., don't sleep with ur brother's wife, don't even b a sperm donor even if he approves of it cause tomorrow is very pregnant n the children that will come out of d deal may tear ur extended family apart.. Pls b guided..
ReplyDeleteLet them visit ELELE in River state, Fr Edeh will pray for them, or the will just oon there own visit the Chapel. I am also a miracle child from there, my mum can't finish her story am proud God answered her prayers and here I am today a glory of Gods work.
ReplyDeleteU hv to consider so many things. Pls don't think of it not to talk of trying it. It is a sin before God
ReplyDeleteI don't see any thing wrong in helping out if you can,Advice your sister in-law to tell her hubby about her suggestion...then you guys can take things up from there.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need any IVF that one na long thing...all you need is a syringe and clean cup to wank into and then she can insert the sperm into her veejay.Thank me later
Am suprised no one has told this man that it is an abomination....the Bible said do not sleep with your brother's wife....even if they do ivf with the brother's sperm i still believe it is wrong. We Nigerians call the name of God every second but when it comes to our comfort we forget God and His rules for us to abide. I am not perfect but will tell you the truth.
ReplyDeleteThe woman is foolish.why can't she discuss with her husband and probably go for an anonymous donor to avoid trouble 2mro.she has only succeeded in exposing her husband and herself.if 2morw she gets' a baby the family will insist for a DNA.
ReplyDeleteAd abi Wetin be your name close your mouth......Where and when did God phone you say Donor cell na abomination? Do you know what it is to wait fora chid?God blesses us in different ways onugo
ReplyDeletewell don't ell your bro, just fuck her and intentionally do not get her pregnant until the you wasted her so much then you impregnate her, have fun kids
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to sperm bank? She should go shopping for a beautiful sperm jare. Dont destroy these brother's relationship.
ReplyDelete