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If the handwriting is on the wall is clear now,why not read it and take decisions now than ignore it and cry later.
Would you stick with someone you know is AS like when you know the risks involved?
Will the love you profess now see you through the pain that might follow?
What is your take on this issue?
A blog visitor sent in this mail and i feel we would be helping her make the right choice now ......whatever she decides after now is her cross to bear...i have nothing against people with AS but if we can stop encouraging AS people to stick together then we would prolly have less children with SS being born.....oh the pain of losing them!
I know a lady who is too old to have babies now and in her old age she has lost one of her two children who was SS,her pain is inconsolable,her story is heart wrenching and because i know what that daughter went through before she died,I WILL NEVER ADVICE ANYONE WHO IS AS TO MARRY ANYONE WHO IS AS....
What do you think?
Read her mail.
''I have been with this guy since october last year n everything have been going on well. He taught me to love God more n gave me all the love,care and attention I needed. Last dec I was talking about genotype n I mentioned to him I was AS but he smiled I asked why and he said nothing.
Since then he kept telling me there was something I needed to know but he was scared I would leave him and he likes me so much he doesn't want to let go. Last week he finally told me he was AS and I felt like a part of me had left,I feel heart broken. He said its going to be a tough journey but let's see how far we can go.
Please Stella, your blog visitors should advice me on what to do because I spoke to a friend and he said if the person is worth it,he can marry the lady.
Its really hard forgetting someone that has given me so much to remember.
Thanks.''
*If you are really adamant na you sabi but if i were you,i would think about the risks involved and the tears that come later......i would think about the fear that comes with each pregnancy and the thought of what the child if SS will go through as he/she grows up.
I am sorry but my opinion is if the long haul will only bring tears,i will rather cry now and let go than later....you can make beautiful memories with someone else..this is my opinion,you mustn't take it oh.
I won't encourage her to marry him. I know many sicklwrs who have died. Their memories are still fresh on my mind. If u marry and have sickler kids in this era, they will grow up to hate u for making them suffer. Do u have any idea how it feels to grow up wit the knowledge that u may die any day. They live in fear. Find another man biko
ReplyDeleteAnd u grew up with d knowledge dt u wl live forever abi? Retarded imbecile!
DeleteStella I thought we have been through all this genotype issue....biko refer poster to old post
DeleteDear Poster, I know it hurts to let go off the one u truly love and cherish, but with case you now at hand, you may have to weight it from two perspectives.
Delete1. Its either you make hay while the sun shines by letting go. After all, its still a fresh relationship the love hasn't eaten in so deep.Save yourself the pain now!
OR
2. Marry him and be prepared not to have a child of your own. This is a delicate issue and as such should be treated utmost wisdom, you really need to think about it.
Please don't marry him, no matter how good he is, you must let go on this one. You can't bri g a child to this world to suffer.
DeleteYou must let go please, time would heal the wound/pain but it's better than watching a child going through the pains of Crisis and probably die young.
*with the case u now have at hand*
Delete@MK I tire oh!!
DeleteWell dear poster u can marry him if his "having" asin cashwise so he can afford the many trips u will take to the developed world to undergo genetic testing to prevent the birth of an SS child n u prepare ur vijayjay for anof evacuation n probing OR u both prepare ursef for a childless marriage,adopted kids,or a kid from either one of u OR better still end it now the relationship is young sef!
Urs faithfully
A 27yr sickler!
October last year till date is just 4 months....This is the period that a relationship is sweetest....compare it to a life time of pain, regret, fear, heartbreak and hatred you would get if you have an ss child. Cos my dear, when that time comes you would hate him for talking you into the marriage.
DeleteLet go of him now. You can still be friends with him.
Nigerians sha! and backwardness, yet there is church in every corner, when it is time to exercise faith, everyone will be cowering. How do you know your AA child will live till 18???Mcheww. is it not people that die everyday.
DeleteHow do you know you and your AA partner will even conceive a child naturally or otherwise?
If you cant go the faith route, then go the medical route, google IVF with PGD
medicine has advanced beyond this crap pple keep posting here abeg
1. Dear poster, I don't know what church u attend, but I know that most churches wouldn't wed couples with this genotype dilemma. Since you guys are christians, I know u would wanna have a church wedding, so are u gonna lie to God, to your pastor or priest bout ur genotypes?
Delete2. Dear poster, don't forget we live in a man's world. What happens after your wedding, u guys keep producing sicklers and your husband's family start putting preasure on him to marry another wife or have a mistress to give him 'healthy kids'. What if your husband gives in? Would you be able to handle it?
3. Dear poster, would you be able to bear the pain, each time your child has a crisis, or when u loose a child? Many marriages have been torn apart because of this.
4. I have friends who are sicklers and I know the pains they go through. Some of them have low self esteem, some of them are brave, some of them have faith that God would heal them but behind it all there's pain and fear.
5. This sicklers can't live a normal life, they are always in and out of the hospital, this affects their physical growth, education etc.
Why gamble with your happiness and your unborn children's lives?
Quit that relationship now!
I met this lady when she was 21, I love her so much, she was so excited to be around, gosh, 10yrs later, she started getting sick all the time, day and night, several, emergency room visit, staying up late night to rub and messages her legs, feet, and fingers from cramping, seizures. A healthy pretty lovely lady, became a walking stick with blood transfusion stuff hooked to her arms, neck and belly. Her kidney began to fail, because of the strong prescription. They never live peaceful or a normal life, I don't want to comment on other things about all the cry and trying to have a child. Please, if you reading my post right now, I want you to think 3x! Don't do it! It destroys dream! !
Delete"Massage"
DeleteMarry him,he thought you the ways of the Lord and help you love God,come to MFM programs and listen to testimonies, HIV cured,Womb restored,AS becomes normal and strong again.
ReplyDeleteWhat you need to do is write down what you want,how you want your kids to look like,your request just write it down and sow a seed with it,connect to God with violent prayers and see Gods miracle occur in your life and the life of your kids.
I can't advice you to leave him that's been faithless and trusting in man,believe in your God and you shall have victory.
NB:God answers prayer anywhere and any church, just follow your heart and obey the scriptures, its not just MFM,i only go to MFM every Wednesday to build my faith and pray my way through.
Hi, i want to attend the MFM programme pls...
DeleteShut up! How can u advice person to jump inside fire, whereas its avoidable. Its a diff thing they hooked up without knowing their genotypes, u can now advice them to seek d face of d Lord. Its like telling me to commit sin, God will eventually forgive u. SMH 4 u Kaycee.
DeleteKaycee....I won't discredit ur opinion n I completely concur dat God works n mysterious ways bt trust me He is not a magician. Asking her 2 marry him cos God 'can' change dia situation is like asking her 2 put God 2 d test. If u ask me, I wud rather she goes into prayers, visit MFM, Redeem camp, Shiloh, men of God etc....if d AS changes 2 AA den she shud marry him....My dear, dia r principles of faith...it's not magic.
DeleteLemme ask u.....av seen an SS individual in crises b4? U cnt even imagine d pain dey go thru....Pls let's not b gullible n make God angry wit us...He gav us signs 2 guard us thru life, let's not tak His grace 4 granted
Yaron Allah
Shut up! How can u advice person to jump inside fire, whereas its avoidable. Its a diff thing they hooked up without knowing their genotypes, u can now advice them to seek d face of d Lord. Its like telling me to commit sin, God will eventually forgive u. SMH 4 u Kaycee.
DeleteI think you should marry him o, cus finding another man, not just any man but a caring one at that go hard
DeleteJust trust in God
Why are ppl nt realistic 4 Christ sake? God this, God dt! Is God a magician? U knw d obvious, u fall into a pit wt ur 2eyes open and u expect God to rescue you! My dear poster, u better cry now and laff later, than laff nw and cry later wen ur babies starts dying. I left an. AS man cos am nt a risk taker and God Himsef doesn't take risk.
DeleteMIE
Faith works o that's when it is 100percent...assuming you knew nofin about ur hubby genotype nd u guys had a child who turns out SS, you can cry to GOD nd you will be able to build your faith to 100percent knowing that u made an unkown mistake but now that you know already, it wld be difficult to have a mustard seed faith cos even when u praying, d devil will always chip it in that you knew about it b4 marrying nd that will drop your faith level cos u will start blaming urslef which isn't 100 percent faith....pastors will even advice you against it....if you are a redeem member, I doubt if they will wed you guys ( especially if the pastor is srtict) cos one of d things they request for is a copy of ur genotype and that of your partner and if they find out both of you are AS, trust me I doubt if they will allow...so my dear our GOD is a GOD of second chance, he definately will bring som1 much better your way
DeleteI feel like calling you an IDIoT...but why should I blame your ignorant self ...are you for real? Why would you advise her to take the plunge Nd then go to MFM ...Nigerians o!,...you obviously have not had any direct contact with someone with the deadly SS....
DeleteI lost my brother to it on dec 16 2013...the pain he went through in his 25 years I don't wish it on my enemy..yet when he died to go to heaven a place of rest..I still cry till today because I miss him soooo much...
No I will rather stay single than marry an As if I am an As..honestly the future pain in the child and the family is not worth it atall...
As STella said, it's better to cry now than have years of tears, worry and pain...
Yes GOd is able to heal but what if GOd does not want to? His ways are not our ways..We prayed for years for healing for my brother..fasted etc and he was never healed...do we blame GOd? No..
The only earthly thing than can cure SS is bone marrow transplant and that is about 60,000$.. and even still no guarantee...
So it's better to look before you leap and not be stupidly spiritual about it...THe LOrd help those who help themselves...
I believe in Miracles but please no need to tempt God. If you got married before you realised your genotypes, then you can begin to believe God for a miracle but not when you openly walk into it.
DeleteLet him go or would you rather bury your own children instead of the other way round???..GOD FORBID!!!
ReplyDeletei will USE my HEAD
ReplyDeleteUse my BIG HEAD
SS pikins no be play
@Galore
It's obvious our dear poster have seen where SS have crises n r in unbearable pains leaving dia luvd ones helpless n confused. Trust me it's not wa gud sight 2 behold n I 4 1 can neva take such risk in d name of luv no matter hw u describe d luv 2 me....it's jus not worth it 1 bit. If u guys really luv ur sefs, I bliv dat luv shud b strong enuf 2 let go for d sake of ur future happiness, dat of ur partner n ur unborn children....it's painful....as in very painful 2 let go bt d repercussion of not letting go is tenfold of dat pain make a choice....I honestly bliv parents dat bring in SS children knowing dat dey wia both AS b4 dey got married r very selfish n dey av a query 2 ansa 4rm God on judgement day....jus ma opinion o
ReplyDeleteYaron Allah
Stella said it all!!!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, leave this guy now that you know his genotype.....the crisis these as children go through is very traumatic.
ReplyDeleteI know people who are both AS and got married and all their kids are AA but that was a huge risk you may not be so lucky.
You would find love elsewhere my dear let go...please....I av managed kids with scd,its not fun.
Don't bring forth children that may end up going thru pains.
Agreed in the union between couples with AS you have a 25% risk of having a SS gene carrying child in each pregnancy...that's 1 in 4....please that's a huge risk
My advise is simple let go my dear...love will find you
You just met him october last year and it is not like you have been dating for years...abeg make i find something to eat. Stay...ok. ochinti na anaghi anu ihe
ReplyDeleteU have said it all. Its a diff thing sef they dated for long. She met him just this Oct n she wants to sentence herself to life imprisonment with hard labour.
DeleteStella, I'm 100% with you on this one. The heart ache involved will by far surpass any love one might have for the other. At each conception, there's a1in 4 chance of having an ss child. Poster, u need to think about the stress, money and time it would cost u to care for a constantly ill child. One u might eventually lose. Hope u're able to choose wisely.
ReplyDeleteMoving on,
Click my name for all your celebration cakes n cupcakes, Cheers
Use ur head coz when the wahala comes u would regret it,as and as is! a N0 to me
ReplyDeleteIts better u leave him nw.....Sickle cell kids suffer a lot,their parents suffer too
ReplyDeleteThey live in fears,they feel d pain
Stella has said it all....sometimes u have to look beyond love
Please, for the sake of your unborn children, break up with him and move on with your life. Since he has helped to bring you closer to God, keep praying and trusting. Faith can only work in extreme cases when God gives you the go-ahead but, if not, abeg part ways and trust God to bring a better man with a compatible genotype. My God-mother was AC while her fiancé was AS. They prayed and trusted God to increase their faith because they were sure God was leading them to marry. At the long run, the husbands genotype changed to AA while the woman remained AC. Miracles still happen but not in all the time. Use your head/brain ooo and not the heart. My very dear friend was an only child and was SS. The father had died a long time ago leaving the mother to live with the boy's situation. The boy finally died leaving the woman alone with no other child and husband and can never have any other child even if she remarried at 55years of age.The heart can always love another person but cannot save you from the torment of raising a child with SS genotype. A word is enough for the wise....SHIKENA!!!
ReplyDeletePlease, for the sake of your unborn children, break up with him and move on with your life. Since he has helped to bring you closer to God, keep praying and trusting. Faith can only work in extreme cases when God gives you the go-ahead but, if not, abeg part ways and trust God to bring a better man with a compatible genotype. My God-mother was AC while her fiancé was AS. They prayed and trusted God to increase their faith because they were sure God was leading them to marry. At the long run, the husbands genotype changed to AA while the woman remained AC. Miracles still happen but not in all the time. Use your head/brain ooo and not the heart. My very dear friend was an only child and was SS. The father had died a long time ago leaving the mother to live with the boy's situation. The boy finally died leaving the woman alone with no other child and husband and can never have any other child even if she remarried at 55years of age. The heart can always love another person but cannot save you from the torment of raising a child with SS genotype. A word is enough for the wise....SHIKENA!!!
ReplyDeletePlease, for the sake of your unborn children, break up with him and move on with your life. Since he has helped to bring you closer to God, keep praying and trusting. Faith can only work in extreme cases when God gives you the go-ahead but, if not, abeg part ways and trust God to bring a better man with a compatible genotype. My God-mother was AC while her fiancé was AS. They prayed and trusted God to increase their faith because they were sure God was leading them to marry. At the long run, the husbands genotype changed to AA while the woman remained AC. Miracles still happen but not in all the time. Use your head/brain ooo and not the heart. My very dear friend was an only child and was SS. The father had died a long time ago leaving the mother to live with the boy's situation. The boy finally died leaving the woman alone with no other child and husband and can never have any other child even if she remarried at 55years of age.The heart can always love another person but cannot save you from the torment of raising a child with SS genotype. A word is enough for the wise....SHIKENA!!!
ReplyDeleteThere's PGD and IVF now to ensure you are only implanted with non-SS embryos. It's quite expensive, about 1.5m but at least you're worry free. If it means having just one or two kids, it's well worth it. Start saving and pray above all that AS or not, God should show you the right man for you.
ReplyDelete1.5M for ivf? I dare you to give at least 1 hospital that does it that cheap.
DeleteIvf single trial is 5M...multiple trials 11M.
If dem get that kain money, make dem carry go
Please where in Nigeria is IVF 5m!?! St. Ives is a million naira per cycle and sometimes they run a special of 2 cycles for the price of one. PGD runs between 500k and 1m. Nordica is about a million as well. I know because I conducted research 2 months ago for a couple that's AS X 2.
Delete@ anonymous 2:59, you are a fucing lia. fucking fuck out of here. 5m for where? have you done ivf or know anyone that has done. pls at bridge it 1.1m, at Georges, olive branch, dr emeka it is 960k, there is nisa premier, etc in Abuja.
DeleteSaint ives run 600k promo everywhere. i know say you carry the thing fot ody but dont mislead people or put unnecessary fear in people. over paranoid no go kill you. oversabi...busy body
lmao.....we now know those who come here and tell lies just to make their part of the story sweet......anonymous 2.59 God is watching you on 3d......its obvious you have never done IVF before......i have done it 3 times and i never spent more than 1.5m on each here and abuja.........so pls never say what u are not sure of.....
DeleteMy dear,walk away o now that the relationship is still very fresh,it's not easy i know but it's better u cry now than keep crying in the future like Stella said!
ReplyDeleteThatisokochic!
Kaycee i thot u were sensible enough to comment wit ur head, wen dis poster get married to dis guy nw will u face d challenges of raisin a sick child wit dem?
ReplyDeletePoster my own is think not of ur present joy bt think about the pains of dat child who wnt be able to live as healthy as his/her peer, a child whose agony will affect u, whose tears will drain u physically, fiancially, emotionally, a child who u will live in constant fear for, cos u dnt know wen d crisis will cum again or if dis will be d last minite u've got wit ur child.
My elder sister is SS bt she's lucky cos her own case is nt serious bt i rememba wen she was sick for many mnths she used to cry at nite nd nobody will sleep at all thank God for his victory sha bt wen she gave birth to her 1st child see battle btw life nd death, i no pray am for anybody. Poster think twice.
Miss Somerhalder
Kaycee i thot u were sensible enough to comment wit ur head, wen dis poster get married to dis guy nw will u face d challenges of raisin a sick child wit dem?
ReplyDeletePoster my own is think not of ur present joy bt think about the pains of dat child who wnt be able to live as healthy as his/her peer, a child whose agony will affect u, whose tears will drain u physically, fiancially, emotionally, a child who u will live in constant fear for, cos u dnt know wen d crisis will cum again or if dis will be d last minite u've got wit ur child.
My elder sister is SS bt she's lucky cos her own case is nt serious bt i rememba wen she was sick for many mnths she used to cry at nite nd nobody will sleep at all thank God for his victory sha bt wen she gave birth to her 1st child see battle btw life nd death, i no pray am for anybody. Poster think twice.
Miss Somerhalder
You ppl don't know what it means to be in love with the person that appreciates you so much.
ReplyDelete@poster, if you're very strong in prayers commit the both of you into the hands of God for there's nothing he can't do. I see and read testimonies of so many ppl with such a case, but if you're not strong and doubt that you can ever be, please leave him. It will only pain you for a while if you leave him, but with time it'll heal.
My dear anon 11:14,I hav one word for u FOOL.who hasn't been inluv b4?luv is nt stupid,its selfless too.love doesn't mean you shld take stupid decisions.wat do u know abt faith?hw can a woman marry an AS partner wit her 2 eyes open,do u even know d financial implication,then d suffering involved.bcos ur opportuned to go to a cyber cafe to type rubbish,u think u can now giv advice.rubbish.my dear poster,b4 u take a decision,go to any teachin hospital near u and tel dem to take u to CRISIS unit .fools everywhere talkin rubbish.
DeleteHave u seen an SS child b4? The crisis ,the pain,the anguish,the passing of blames,the sorrow,the painful death,every painful detail?. I BET U HAVEN'T.
Deleteplease follow your head.
ReplyDeleteI once had an elder brother but being the fact that he was SS he died when he was 21, and on the other had I have an uncle that is 39, he is living in london healthily, has a family, and he is also SS. Thank God for modern day technology, if you guys can handle the finances, go and meet your doctor to see family planning options you have, semen filtration, artificial insemination etc If you guys can handle the finances, and with God on your side all things are possible. I won't advise you to leave him until you guys have seeked medical opinions of health officials and also your maker. Good luck in your endeavours. Nil
ReplyDeleteMy dear am a realist so I wld tel u d truth,ur uncle wil still die,except God changes his story.they don't live above 45-50yrs.besides dis guy neva proposed to d poster so I wonder y u can't leave him.
DeleteAnon realist!! U will die a thousand times b4 her uncle dies!! U will tell me d ppl dieing everyday in the world r all SS...no one has a gauranteed life oluku!
DeleteAnon realist!! U will die a thousand times b4 her uncle dies!! U will tell me d ppl dieing everyday in the world r all SS...no one has a gauranteed life oluku!
DeleteRealist of doom: welldone u hear? Pple like u used to say dey dnt live to be 21 and its now 50? Pray u celebrate ur next bday o! Oloshi
DeleteAnon 2.37pm, As you say it so shall it be for you and your family member. Please stop making ignorant comments, some people die at the age of 26, 16 and its not because of SS genotype. As far as they have passed the age of 21, they could live for long, and also those of them that live in cold regions where malaria is abesnt, are usually not affected by constant attacks. My uncle shall live to see his children's children. Amen. Nil
Deleteanon idiot! you and your stupidity will die first! idiot! how can you say her uncle will still die? are you god????better go on your knees and pray to God to forgive you! oloshi
Deleteare you married? how do you know you will even concieve! idiot like you
God will change your own story from positive (for your mind na!) to negative for the words of doom you prophesied on this poor man! thank God man is not God, can you imagine the arrant nonsense that is coming from your mouth! do you know how many kids were born the same day her uncle was born that are not SS but havent lived to see today
Deleteyou must be a biiiiiiiiig fool for what you just wrote, you have clearly lost control of your thinking faculty!
make una relax am sure she did not mean it that way....am sure she meant the uncle will still die of sickle cell related causes......truth is anybody can die anytime and we have seen cases of people who live abroad that have lived long......its a lot of work really and its better not to even risk it in the first place that going through a life time crises.....
Deletesounds like he is a guy well grounded in faith.....if you pray and believe that is who God wants you to marry then go ahead......and when you do start walking in faith from day one....i have seen God change SS to AA so i know he can do it but you have to be holding on to God alone in faith. please this is not just head knowledge of following a feeling oh......its a serious step of faith and u have to be serious with God....if u are not sure and do not think you can carry that faith you will not miss heaven if u bow out now.....dont stay with him out of pity or love....bible says can 2 work together if they dont agree? the agreement here now will be, do u both believe it is Gods will to marry? do u both believe God can change SS to AA? are you ready to fight this fight of faith? if you answer yes to all then go ahead.....God is faithful.....lastly please let no man pressure you to take a decision, its you and God so not even your pastor should make you say yes if your mind tells you no....
ReplyDeleteSmh. You know the truth yet you choose to ask us. Ok, marry oh or what do you want us to say? I lost two of my cousins to the scourge, am AS myself and no amount of love can make me marry one.
ReplyDeleteWe have talked about this same topic a couple of times here so at the risk ofsounding like a broken record.. You are a big fool for evn considering it.. U think SS is like malaria dat u take drugs and it goes away... By the tym u haave two kids in crises at the same tym believe me all that love will fly out of the window.. The kids will grow up hating u for causing them so much pain.. I can't believe in this present day and age people still talk about love wen it comes to issues like this.. You are very selfish thinking of yourself only and not considering young innocent children... If you go ahead with this God will judge you harshly. I am this passionate bcos I have two siblings that are SS very handsome and intelligent young men and it breaks my heart when they have crises and the leg ulcers are the worst. Poster leaving that guy will only hurt for a while but you are saving yourself a lifetime of stress, pain and heartbreak.. BE WARNED!
ReplyDeleteI woulda asked u to use ur head and leave now buh I can understand its gonna be difficult to walk away now esp as d dude in question is helping u become a better person n all.
ReplyDeleteFrom biology,since both of u are AS,ur gonna have AA,AS n SS kids. And in most cases esp d ones I've seen d 1st n 2nd kids are AA n AS_d prob now starts frm d 3rd. U could be lucky as well n ur 1st two kids won't be SS. Buh u could really make use of some miracle tho...
Buh hey,just chill! He hasn't even proposed yet n ur already tryna give u HBP.
Not true. My friend has three kids. The first two are sicklers,one AS,one AA. The first two are the only two boys he has. They always fall into crisis the same time.
DeleteIrene I am sorry to say this,but ur friend probably terminated her first 2 pregnancies.that's why she had the first 2 as sicklers.May God continue to be her strength.Amen.
DeleteIrene I am sorry to say this,but ur friend probably terminated her first 2 pregnancies.that's why she had the first 2 as sicklers.May God continue to be her strength.Amen.
DeleteNot true. My parents are AS n AC. 1st n 2nd born both SC while remaining 4 are 2AA n 2AC. The 1st is late now, died at 29yrs.
DeletePoster, for ur own peace of mind and for d sake of ur unborn children pls don't marry that guy. Managing SS children takes much more than money.
Cool mna, you weren't listening well enough in you biology class. For each pregnancy, there's a 1 in 4 chance of AA or SS and a 2 in 4 chance of As. IT'S A PROBABILITY. In that the pattern is unpredictable. You could very well have a 20 children an all would be AA and you may have 20, and all is SS. In other words, there's no defined paternity. I know siblings whom 3 out of 4 have SCD. I on the other hand, I'm the only one in a family of five with SCD.
DeleteOh lord ave mercy. D relationship is still very fresh u can still b with him and keep searching for someone u will love. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI hv commented on a similar post extensively I will save my strength on dis 1. But my cousin as we speak is in d hospital a sickler. Its heart wrenching.
ReplyDeleteThis AS/AS genotype matter has been over analysed on this blog already. The issue makes me sad as I've lost a best friend and beloved cousins to SS. He that has ears should hear. Take your decision, may the Lord have mercy on you.
ReplyDeletei dated a guy for 14 yrx n later found out we wr both AS.....Family refused.....i cried n cried....thots of us breakin up finished me....weddin preparetions was cancelled.....i later moved on....years n years seachin ...untill i found anoda true love ....even better dan my Ex....pls my dear move on.....so far der is life der is hope....guyz can marry at any age bt ladies cannot ...bcos of menopause......open ur eyes....u wont die....i hv been true ds ur situation....October last year is not even far....unless u wan to use d knew technologies of checkin to avoid SS.....all d same is d woman dt will suffer all d pain.....der are oda men out der lookin for u....U will find love again.....MOVE ON....
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!! Do i need a pastor to prophesy for me??? Definitely unto Massive NO!!! Sharply i will implore my unlimited Gigabyte Brain inserted inside my big head... My love is so much alive wearing glasses ooooo... Me can never attempt to play God, not to talk of putting him to test... My dear poster, the earlier the better for you cos when things start unveiling later in the future, am 100.1% sure you can't handle it.. Is better u take the hurt now by taking a bow than latter in the future when the "had i known" will never have a remedy.......for the sake of the innocent unborn kids pls implore ur IQ so you don't bring them into the world of pains and fears. God Bless u. @i_ChoPttas_Not
ReplyDeleteaunty stella ma own issue is dat am close to 31yrs in march, am AS, last year 4 elligble guys came to me at different times during the year and it was unfortunate dat dey were AS,i cried and went to God in prayers for AA to come, my mum told me to say no them, dis year during ma fasting 2 guys came who said they like me but also AS i broke down, i now said maybe i shld accept dat is my fate n settle down wt AS guy bcos one of them is nt even worried dat am AS at all, infact he tld his elder sista and her husband are both AS and dey dont have SS kids.......am so confused pls help am tinkin of saying yes to him and we will do our intro by easter period
ReplyDeleteYou better use one stone and kill 5birds now... You aint no difference with the poster dear... Instead of seeking more advice, u beta take a chill pill&imbibe all positive advice given to the poster aligned with that of aunty stella's own.... Pls oooo, marriage ain't worth this long term risk as we always think..since you have started waiting on the lord hun pls continue to do that until the right man comes ur way...... Desperado ain't a virtue but SURULERE... Ur Happiness is worth waiting for, pls don't ever be in a haste to embrace sorrows in lieu of running away from fears. Age is just nothing but mere number. Its well with u..@i_ChoPtas_Not
DeleteMy dear,he lied to you. Visit his sisters n hear their stories. I believe NONE will advice u to marry an AS.
Deleteoversabi IRene how do you know he lied about his sister! you knw them personally abi? i too know
Deleteirene you are totally and utterly stupid.......did your biology books tell you all your children must be ss if you are both AS......do u know how many kids they have? she might be lucky and yes medically some people have been lucky.....so next time pls before you type, think or ask around .....gosh
DeleteMy dear look before u leap plz, dt love u think u ve now will disappear so fast when d crisis associated wit SS kids hits u. Don't look at other couples dt got away wit it pls becos everybody can't be d same. Above all don't play Russian roulette wit ur life. All d best.
ReplyDeleteLet him go although it might be painful now but in the end it would be worth it. I was in a similar postion some years ago and after the last AS guy i cried na begged God that from dat day any man dat even says hi to me should be AA and so it has been since then. My fiance is AA.please don't loose faith.
ReplyDeleteThe blessing of the lord maketh rich and adds no sorrow. God bless you
Dear poster,
ReplyDeletednt let luv fool u
dnt allow ur emotions control u
seek d face of God; if its his will; go ahead n marry him. If not, slap ur sef back t reality n move on wt ur life. U met him in October n we r in feb- its not even up t 7 months(una r\ship stil dey com up). A broken r\ship my dear is beta, peaceful n fulfilling than a marriage wt sickle cell kids. Be wise!
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ReplyDeleteDear u hv said it all
ReplyDeleteBut I Tot people now do test to check the genotype of their unborn baby.....I know a couple that are AS and gave birth To 2 kids(AS and AA)...bt d lady had to flush her first pregancy when she discovered it Ws SS.....emotional and spiritual pain...if u can face it,try it.......visit D sickle cell center @ Luth 2nd gate to get more knowledge
ReplyDeleteSickle cell is not a death sentence. During crisis you need a lot of hydration (IV fluids), pain medication (morphine preferably), and oxygen. I don't think a lot of doctors know how to manage it.
ReplyDeleteNne r u a health personnel,I doubt it!!
DeleteEvery sickler is different, dats the general management, do u know wat drug treshold is,do u know wat addiction is,...
Abeg packwell!
If I have no knowledge I won't give any comment. No sickler is different, it's the same pathophysiology.
DeleteAnd I said morphine because you it's a long acting medication, so you don't give that much, reason why I said preferably morphine compared to other narcotics. So madam where is your addiction coming from? And you are giving it for the period of the crisis. Maybe you should visit your pharmacology textbook. Bye.
DeleteI just had to give you a reply Lisa Spencer, anonymous 2.45pm did not tell you he/she read pharmacology in school. May I add, you must be really myopic to say 'I don't think a lot of doctors know how to manage it'. So who knows, you the pharmacy student, seriously pack well. We are talking prevention, you are ranting loading morphine and oxygen. Nonsense
DeleteWhat's with all dis advice dt she shld go ahead den later pray...mbok make una no mock GOD jare....if he decides not to answer nko, does that change him from GOD to god?...if ur faith is as strong as u claim, use that faith to convert your genotype from AS to AA...abeg make we hear word
ReplyDeleteWell I believe there is nothing God cannot do but if u guys r meant to be,let the will of God be done but u need to seek the face of God 1st
ReplyDeleteLet go now b4 you'll come nd say you r pregnant oh.e no dey hard una these days
ReplyDeleteLemme start like dis. There is nothing God cannot do. I am AS n i got married to a man dat is AS and we have a baby together now n she is AS. People don't go in blindly nowadays, there are options now, I personally did the pre natal genotype test for the foetus at 11weeks in lagos.( sickle cell centre) n it cost 210k. My point is whatever works for u, n u must hv a spouse dat will support u no matter wat. I honestly dunno wat I would hv done if the baby turns out to be SS but I also won't want to bring such child into the world to suffer. Before all this, I really prayed, I held unto God n believed dat my baby won't be SS, n as God will hv His way our prayer was answered and I am sure he will do the second one. So you really hv to think well, you alone knw how u are feeling.
ReplyDeleteAre u planning to have a second?...Goodluck o
DeleteWat is dis poster talkin abt.I left my boyfriend who I loved wit d whole of my heart to marry my husband and I hav neva regretted it.my boyfriend was d best bt wasn't talkin marriage,so I left him.it was a huge decision for me then bt I took it cos I knew wat I wanted.my dear leave d guy and try nt to regret it,wit tym u wil find a better guy.As aint no joke....
ReplyDeleteWhoever that brings a sickled child to earth to suffer at this age in time should face prosecution I will forgive our parents that were illiterates don't let ur children suffer ur selfish love
DeleteSorry to say this but @poster you re a big fool º°˚ ˚°ºoo! So you want your children to suffer you noe dey will never forgive you and beside God has given us knowledge so let us be wise and stop sayin God can do anytin is it nt God dat gave us the knowledge To noe that As and As should not get married. Please be wise. And don't let God vex wit You. Thank you. Sir alpachino Nokia3310
ReplyDeleteAs far as am concerned you have done no corrections nor advised and you are the bigger fool to have called a brethren in need such... Till people like you learn to correct with love, Nigeria will become a better place.... Am sure you were one of the people that wanted Gov Adams oshiomole dead with ur abuses when he asked a widow to "go and die" now see you do worst than that#mtcheew# Smh
Delete@i_ChoPtas_Not
The new trend is to curse pipo out and advice later ba? I seeeeee!
DeleteDon't mind him! Idiot! All these fools that come here to say dry jokes,no advice nothing,just felt you should come here and say rubbish.
DeleteWell thank y'all so much for the words of encouragement,love yu guys plenty
ReplyDeleteMy dear,my slogan is "love with ur heart,see with ur eyes and think with ur brain"love aint blind and b4 u make ur decision,go to the hospital and look for an ss child in crisis,speak with her family.........u can't deal with the pain,the anguish,the guilt,the financial strain.......and ur child will neva forgive u......I once had a neighbour with an ss child,bcos of his many visits to hosp,he's younger bro was a glass ahead of him.wheneva d boy is in crisis he will always say"mum or dad see what u did to me" and the parents always has a row each time he's in crisis bcos they r emotional stressed.I believe in God n very much in luke 1:37 and matt 21:22.......but pls dnt put God to the test,abraham was a man of faith in his generation among many men.what if u aint abraham of your time???
DeleteDear poster, Pls be wise and walk away from dat relationship. Trust me, knowing ur status and going ahead with the marriage won't help u in the future. By the time it starts, dat love he professes won't stand the test of time. It's horrible what these SS kids go thru. I had a friend and a room mate back at the university. She had a permanent injury on her heel which heals and then appears. She was always sick, in fact she didn't even graduate with us cos she became gravely ill and went on admission. She was on admission for about a whole session. Dat was like a year. U can imagine what dat can do to the pocket of an average earning family. She graduated 2 yrs after we did. She's still alive but she can't afford to live a normal life, no stress, must not get emotional. The rules are endless. And in naija? There was also a coursemate of mine who was lucky to marry an A A while she was SS. She died after childbirth. We saw her in class today and by the next day she was dead. Then there's this family friend of ours too. She and her hubby were both AS. She had 4 kids, 3 were SS while just one is AS. When 2 of those three died at age 10 and 8 consecutively, she was almost out of her mind with sorrow. They were running from pillar to post. The third one is still alive but it has milked them so much money. So my dear, if u didn't know, then pray but if u knew before going in, u would live to regret. Dats why God revealed thru science how it can be prevented. God cannot be mocked. Be wise.
ReplyDeleteLOVE? What is LOVE if i may ask? All these blog commentators will just be deceiving people! Which kind mumu LOVE be that? Mtchww LOVE gbakw'orku... My dear don't FOOL yourself biko. LOVE is a decision and not a feeling! You'll find someone else. Just believe! *sighs* All is well
ReplyDelete#doctorbobby
Don't borrow, buy, or gamble with trouble
ReplyDeleteThe word "LOVE" has really suffered.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to u @poster, follow your heart but take your head along.
How can pple be so darft at dis day and age, I can't believe pple still ask dis kind of question. Mrs poster u are very wicked and selfish humanbeing. The likes of u and ur boyfriend is the reason Africa is still backwards.
ReplyDeleteStella,pls let's av a forum whr pple with sickle cell disorder come here to speak abt d disorder, thr fears and experience! Enough of all these selfish AS pple jare!
ReplyDeleteall my life I have lived with sisters whose Genotypes are SS. They may not like to talk about it, but I tell you its not easy. We grew up in a comfortable home and as such my parents have the resources to buy their medication. Please note, the medication doesn't stop the crisis, it doesn't stop the pain, it only helps them endure the pain. They hardly go out for fear of having crisis afterwards, they cant keep jobs because they are always in an out of the hospital, they are very pretty and men approach them, when the men hear their genotype they disappear, the ones that try to stay really do not have the resources to manage them as my parents have been doing. I am married with 3kids (not that I married early) my pretty sisters are still at home living lonely life, they said when a sickler gets to age 21, the crisis stops. hmmm... my sis are ages 29 and 36, the pain is still there.
DeleteIt is well.
Soso.
Poster,nor do ooooo!I beg you in the name of God.I had a neighbour who had 8 children.as we speak,she has lost 4,including her only son.when one of the daughters who was AS was dating a man who was also AS,she went to meet a pastor to pray for her and her boyfriend that God can change it.the pastor asked her;"why do you want to tempt God?I will pray but don't be upset if years down the line He still hasn't answered your prayers." Even her mum always advised us wen we were having boyfriends that "I hope una don check him genotype o!cos our time them nr dey check if not I for nor marry their papa o.
ReplyDeleteThankGod for technology and science. if you guyz can afford it, we have IVF and also there is the procedure of a bone marrow transplant. These procedures are very expensive and its a process but if you truly love, i guess its worth it. i am a beliver in love but i can see when all the people abusing you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteI nor fit, I repeat I nor fit. My cousin an only child died after a long long battle with sickle cell. Her parents were wealthy but it didn't work. Do u have the funds 4d advanced test 2determine the genotype? Do u hv d heart 4selective abortion?someone here said 210k that she used to run dt test n glory 2 God,it was AS.do u have such funds? Are both of u earning a decent living? Please be smart,we are in d era of science. U have no excuse like the mistake some of our parents made.uare educated,u have the bare facts,u are not living in the UK with free NHS so think think and pray and make your decision.
ReplyDeleteDon't do it poster. Don't enter into a situation that will cause you great regret. Except if you're financially buoyant enough to screen your pregnancies.
ReplyDeleteYes love is a beautiful thing and it's even priceless with the right person.dear poster the kind of love mothers have for their kids is out of the word,you want them to wake healthy and happy every morning,you want the best for them in good health. Trust me it's so difficult to handle kids going through crisis, it's painful and it hurt! Please do the right thing and use your head dear.
ReplyDeleteWell,my dad was AS and my mum an AS. They had 7 children. 2 were AA,4 were AS. only the last,the 7th turned out to be an SS.
ReplyDeleteBoth got married when there was no information about genotypes. But my mum says now that if she had known about it before, she wouldnt have married my dad. But we tell her that if she had stopped having kids at the fourth child,she would never have had an SS! Having an SS child is a heart rending eperience.
Am AC and single. Doctors please help explain my Genotype. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm not doctor, but I've lived With SCD all my life, so consider me a specialist of sort in this department. AC can be likened to AS, but C is a milder variant of S. In plain terms you are also a carrier of a sickle cell. If you pass you C to a child who then inherits S from his dad, you would have a child with haemoglobin SC, which is not so different from what Nigerian call 'sicklers' typically with HbSS. However, they tend to have fewer crisis, defy the physical traits and are generally more healthier than HbSS
Delete