Men!
Men!!
Men!!!.
This is light and is meant to either motivate the men to make up theirs or make them laugh.........
If you advise them, they think you are dominating;
If you don't, you are not doing anything!
If they call, they are missing you;
If you call, you are disturbing them!
If they ask you anything, its their right;
If you ask them, you are interfering!
If they care, they love you;
If you care, you are possessive
So difficult....hats off to all great wives/women
Enough of jokes on ladies. Now its time for some male bashing ..hehheheheh.
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares??? Just throw them.
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO ?
A: Dont know, haven't seen either .
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business.
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!.
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract!
Ha ha ha ha ha hahahhaaa
Hehehehe...S to DK! You are taking a jab at the male folks huh???
ReplyDeleteThem go soon provoke!
1...2...3! Let the comments spit fire back at Stella.
Kikikiki..*running to a corner to watch last fight.
@ Bloglord, abeg make l follow you run o. This na real war on men!
DeleteBloglord wallahi I cnt help bt kip luving u gaskiya....
DeleteYaron Allah
Mehnnn I give d writer award ooo best writer of d year! Men=mumu.
ReplyDeleteSo true! Eve E Ume
DeleteLmao!! Hilarious but true.
ReplyDeleteHahhaah men r complicated beings! Dey always want t dominate.
DeleteOya men come n ans drinkn julits palmie
ReplyDeleteFunny
ReplyDeleteNice one.. ..
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha..So true stella
ReplyDeleteI actually did not find this funny,Aunty Stella is this what women have reduced men to?in as much as Dino Maleye seems to be your beauty of the day and there is no difference between him and this post,find time to search for good men with positive values as an example here, don't make it look like all of us are dogs and are not discipline,that's a lie.Have read stories from this blog and i tell you there are good and very disciplined men.Do your findings, don't always reduce us to shafts.
ReplyDeleteLife is short! Get a sense of humour!
DeleteNumber 1...
Delete@ Kaycee, Sorry oh..... Lmao!!
DeletePlease work on your sense of humour.
DeleteThank you.
shut up! Are you even a ma? Abeg goan sit down somewhere. Thats just the basic truth. How many experience u don get? Do u even have a girlfriend? not to talk to marry. Stella we need to put age barrier on this blog. 25 and above so the likes of KC wont come and be feeling funky with adult conversations
DeleteKaycee don't mind dem joor. Don't give dem d thrill of knowing dat u got 2 u. I actually found it hilarious...
DeleteYaron Allah
@Kaycee haba you don vex oh,oya come chop kiss,lmao.
DeleteKaycee, majority of men are dogs. Its like u all go for a secret meeting where u plan the lies and deceit u will dish out to women.
DeleteWALAHI WHOEVER THIS WRITER BE I DON'T CARE BUT NA REAL MONKEY BANANA!
DeleteHahahaha...stella u no serz oo! @ "I can do betta dann dis,and then He created woman" lwkmd
ReplyDeleteThat means MAN no get sense abi???if I hear???
Dike Anthony
Una no get sense, I swear down. Mrs O
Delete2 and 5 got me rolling,with my bad health.
ReplyDeleteBad health kwa?
DeleteLOL hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
ReplyDeleteWho cares??? Just throw them.
ReplyDeletefunny stuff you got anuty SDK
Lmao!
ReplyDeleteAgree or die. No contest!..Lmao.
ReplyDeleteStella you are very much on your own. Mk una enjoy the groove while it last. So na wetin dey una mind???
ReplyDeleteAnty stella please help me and ask them.
ReplyDeletesome of the jokes really got me laughing.
LIKE
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Must a man marry everywoman they chase or do u marry all the men u fuck?
DeleteQ: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
ReplyDeleteA: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving. #thisgotmerollingonthefloor hehehehehehehehe
On a very different note, Stella abeg no update on the woman who has never seen her husband's blokos in 3yrs?
ReplyDeleteGood observant. Stella y e b say if we don advice finish we no dey hear d result/out come of it???? Am tired of giving out my advice NI
DeleteLol @ "d same urge that makes a dog go after a vehicle it has no intention of driving" .... dis one enter well
ReplyDeleteTony ihekire will pounce on dis post like mad!
=))º°˚˚˚°ºLmaoº°˚˚˚°º=)). Stella b cracking me up ths morning,just had to show my boss this...y'll should hv seen d look on his face...can't stop laughing stella thanks 4 making my day #Viel Liebe#
ReplyDeleteLmao....so true sha.
ReplyDeleteMen! You can't fuLly study them.
Hehehehe he odikwa funny
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha, these really pertain to Nigerian men
ReplyDeleteOh My God! I so love this. Completely brilliant. I go copy and save am somewhere, to keep giving me courage to go on.
ReplyDeleteThanks SDK
Exactly what I plan to do. This article, as funny as it is actually makes one realize we shouldn't sweat the small stuff.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA, that last question and answer got me rolling to Zimbabwe and, its sooo true. Dumb, illiterate and penniless dudes be looking for intelligent career women to marry
ReplyDeleteHahahaha....Penniless bt dem get Penis which una like .....
DeleteYaron Allah
Is there anyone that can help my family? My husband and I are without jobs despite the fact that we have good degrees. Doctor also says we can only conceive via ivf. We needs jobs so we can raise money for the procedure and take care of the babies God'll give us. Pls keep us in your prayers
ReplyDeleteIt is well. There is nothing God cannot do. I know someone who just put to bed yesterday and she doesn't menstruate. With God, NOTHING is impossible.
DeleteMen, if you call, they will say you are stalking them. If you don't, they will say you don't care. You can never please them.
Forget babies for now and concentrate on getting jobs. You can start little, what i mean is that, you can start from the jobs that pay little instead of sitting at home doing nothing. I don't know where you are based, but in lagos, there are agents that help people secure jobs, just ask around.
Deletethe doctors dont have the final say neither is IVF the last resort.....my husband and i have the money for IVF and i have done 3 yet no result......just keep believing, focus on getting a job and let God do the rest cos u might even take in without the IVF.....though we decided to try IVF again i have learnt that you do not decide how God will work out solutions to our problems, so all am doing now is thanking him for a child and i know he will do it in jesus name......married 9 years now.....so live each day thanking him and keep believing...i have my maternity clothes ready by faith...
DeleteWhen we are faithless God remains faithful to the end.
DeleteSarah laughed when she was told to expect a child. She did not believe. While her husband. Abraham, staggered NOT in unbelieve. Did God work on her weary faith or He did what He had to do as God who's words are yea and amen? Till today by virtue of Abraham, Sarah is the mother of all nations.
What about Hannah, Elizabeth etc?
You will bear forth your Samuel and Issac. The report of the Lord is the final say. I pray all u ladies the fruit of the womb. Plus ur deliveries like that of the Hebrew women. Godspeed
And u shall concive for your faith alone can move mountains
DeleteLmao.
ReplyDeleteIhekire Tony
ReplyDeleteStella I don't know the reason why u posted this, please this is not funny. I cried while reading it, this is so untrue.
Please take handkerchief.
DeleteCried ke?...,hmmmmm
DeleteEven jesus wept in d bible.
DeleteSo urs it nt new.
D post actually made me laugh.
U r always crying ehn?..haba stop lying!..its either u r crying stella didn't post ur comment or dat Phrinkies carries POS machine around(like she didn't bring it to ur house)...be man my friend!
DeleteNumber 2...
DeleteLmao @ take handkerchief
DeleteTake second handkerchief Incase the first one gets too wet.
DeleteHahahahahahaha u mean u actually cried???? Dts is to show u aint no man.
Deletecry ko laugh ni.....you tony wey be poor specimen of the male specie......lol.....pls dont even get me started....u na man?
DeleteTony abeg no fall ma hand joor....follow d ladies laff .....its actually fun o
DeleteYaron Allah
Yet women be fasting and praying in church: "God please give me a good man"
ReplyDeleteSome of these were funny but yea women still betray,kill,and does juju for each other for these same Men.....
DeleteOnly God can fully understand his creations...
Number 3...
DeleteGod bless u!...hahahaha
DeleteYaron Allah
Lemme sit /_________here n wait 4 comment.
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks a lot Stella. He don hear am for my hand today. Lolllllllllllll
ReplyDeleteHahahaha @ wot mks a man chase women dey hav no intention of marrying; d same urge dat mks dogs chase after vehicles dey hav no intention of driving! Sooo true . Men are MCs. Testing d microphones#yimu
ReplyDeleteHilarious!!!lmao!!!
ReplyDeleteLol,guys were una dey.
ReplyDeleteLmao! Funny.....
ReplyDeleteStella Stella, very funny and untrue.
ReplyDeleteLadies BEWARE!don't allow Mrs dimokokorkus to confuse u..she's happily married wit kids and she'll be writing shits about men on her blog.remember no man is PERFECT.#sipsMoetnChandon#
ReplyDeleteNumber 4...
DeleteAbeg abeg. In all things, apply wisdom. A woman will only share this with a man that has a sense of humor. And for me. What I took from this article is not to stress myself when my husband messes up.(I Go Just Remember Some Of The Jokes And shake my head)
DeleteBros jus laff over did n 4get Wetin women tink abt did cos dey won't remember it wen dey nid 2......it's actually hilarious.....I cldnt stop laffing...
DeleteYaron Allah
Every sips moetnchandon..c'mon shatap!na him u never high? U no like paraga?ntoi e pain u abi?
Delete*time
DeleteBut moy dot why u dey para, it seems ur guilty of all.
DeleteHahahaha.........Stellastical...2nd part is so true..lol
ReplyDeletePls not my man.
ReplyDeleteMy man is too perfect to b misunderstood.
I can vouch to heaven n back for him.
How I love my hubby
Lol
DeleteMshewww notice me
DeleteHahaha.....M-amie.....u r on a long tin
DeleteYaron Allah
Who cares? Imaginary man..suffering n smiling dt na ur type @ m-amie abi na mama nkukwu..agadi nwanyi
DeleteMamie, pls take several seats. We all know d pattern here in uk.Mrs o
DeleteSo so true. E - hug for you Stella.
ReplyDeleteStella true talk. I agree wit u 100%
ReplyDeleteHilarious... Very very funny. But not necessarily true.
ReplyDeleteWhen una laugh finish make una go put food for table. We dey hungry. After dat, come bedroom...
ReplyDeleteCorrect...most of dem will still bow down n suck dick tonight,don't mind dem
Deletelmao, na true o, i go still find dick suck tonight, chei i don tire for man issue
DeleteBros ur head dey dia.....I jus dey laff die 2dy
DeleteYaron Allah
So u think we are just created to put food on ur table and bedroom thingzz. U never jam my type, I go bmp put poison for ur food and bite off dat thing u call a dick. Mtcheewww. Mrs O
DeleteI have read the bible from Genesis to Revelation. After the creation of man,the bible says that the Lord rested. I am yet to see where He was quoted in the bible to have rested after He created Eve.
ReplyDeleteThink about this, ladies out there.
Lol 4 d post. But guess wat: who stays on top wen we dey do dat ting?. Even wen woman dey on top na only 4 a few minutes and she go dey sweat like Christmas goat. Lol. Wat cn d women folk do without d men? Virtually nothing. Ask every woman without a man wat she weeps at night 4. But I enjoyed d joke. Ciao. Peter
ReplyDeleteWhy is it all the ladies are laffing and the guys are not? The roles will be reversed if it's female bashing o. But all the same, ROTFL and yeah, I'm a woman.
ReplyDeleteBut without these Men life would not be interesting at all....
ReplyDeleteRotfl @i can do better than this really? Lol, wat makes a man date a girl he wnt marry wth? Same reason a dog chases a car it can drive aunty stella abeg dey post dis kind thing for us
ReplyDeleteMiss Somerhalder
Lol, very hilarious but this doesn't apply to all men biko. We still have good,intelligent and God fearing men around.
ReplyDeleteWhere them dey, pls show me one. Mrs O
Deletevery funny... hahahahahaha@ opposite attracts
ReplyDelete@BlogLord, u de sleep at all? #justasking oo
ReplyDeleteAunty Stella of life........hahahahahahaha....very hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHowever, 3 of the points are actually very true though funny:
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract!
It Is well....Cheers!
@BlogLord, u de sleep at all? #justasking oo
ReplyDelete@BlogLord, u de sleep at all? #justasking oo
ReplyDelete@BlogLord, u de sleep at all? #justasking oo
ReplyDeleteI'm very disappointed in this post.stella a woman can never be under a man.it is in the bible.all these woman empowerment and co is rubbish.this your post will just make ladies stupid.most of them will even fall out of their relationships and even marriage.Better remove this post.Any lady that agrees with this silly post should go to her mum for advice..
ReplyDeleteHian a li'l bit of humour ..keeps u away 4rm being post humous .....why so serious hun?
DeleteAll the ladies on the blog love ya! Mwwaaah.
Abeg,is it that serious
DeleteHaba! Na so d tin pain u reach?
Delete@ Anon 3:14
This one na slow motion person. Mrs O
Deletedid i read ds post?....NO
ReplyDeleteAm i that lazy?.....NO
Do i agree with ds post?....NO
##back to bed##
@Galore
Your Father!!!
ReplyDeletetruest post ever....
ReplyDeletesimply hilarious my favorite is " why do men chase women they don't have any intention of marrying" classic
ReplyDeleteThe NATOR
Lol!The Devil can cite scriptures(and look for answers)to suit HER purposes! Beware of d Devil,or rather woman!!!
ReplyDelete*Sneezes *: atichooooooooo stretches *yawns *
DeleteLMAO. Very true.
ReplyDeleteWhere is thy sense of humour?
ReplyDeleteRubbish! But we women dey use juju to snatch anor woman hubby to answer mrs....and of course am a married woman hehehe
ReplyDeleteWE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
ReplyDeleteNOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
Stale gist..monkey!! Very dry
DeleteOn point.
Delete@Charles,pls take a bow!
ReplyDelete@Charles... 9z.
ReplyDeleteElsie
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my
ReplyDeletebaby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning
sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine
a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often
strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody
that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain that
I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be
called an air current.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery
room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything
to you.
Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame
it for.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very
quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my
wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where
her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single
women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the
fridge and go to bed. Married women come home,
see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick
up women?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a
washing machine will probably never be able to
support you.
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to
say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once
told me..."
Q. How do you fix a woman's watch?
A. You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Q. Why do men break wind more than women?
A. Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of
her intelligence?
A. Divorced.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she
brings it.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after
women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when
they go they take your house and car with them.
Q. Why do women have breasts?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand to see a man have a good
time.
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A women who won't do what she's told.
Q. What do you call a room full of women, half
with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A. A whine and cheese party
Q. Why is it called PMS?
A. Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
To be happy with a man, you must understand
ReplyDeletehim a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a
woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.