''I just found out my boyfriend is the greatest liar of all time. I stumbled on his traditional marriage card this morning''
''Stella please help me, am in so much pain right now, I feel like someone stabbed me multiple times in the heart and I have no one to talk to. I can't talk to my sisters or friends because I hate pity and I know most of them will be happy in their heart am in pain.
I won't mention names or age cos my friends and family visit your blog.
I just found out my boyfriend is the greatest liar of all time. I stumbled on his traditional marriage card this morning, its happening next week Sunday.
I confronted him and he starts a sob story of how he went for work out of town and had a one night stand with an old friend who got pregnant on purpose.
He calms this girl went to meet his mum with the pregnancy even before she informed him knowing fully well that he loves his mum so much and since my bf is an only son and she is a known face to the family that his mum would support her.
My boyfriend claims he was pressured into doing the Traditional so he can claim the child when its born. I asked him why he didn't tell me when he first heard of the pregnancy and he tells me he loves me and Didn't want to lose me and hurt me. I asked him if he thought I wouldn't find out even after the Traditional cos I assumed he would be living with his wife but he says she would be living with his mum not him, and that he wanted to figure out what next to do after the birth of the baby.
Now he is begging for forgiveness and is asking me to marry him in court before his Traditional, I told him am too young for all the drama going on in his life.
The truth is I love this guy so much but I know I deserve better.Stella i am in so much pain right now and there is so much hate in my heart towards this guy and am afraid I would do something stupid, I just want you to help me by telling me how to mend my broken heart, I want this pain to go away, I want to let go and forget this guy.
Please help me! Am drowning.
Please forgive any typo my tears are blinding my eyes''.
*Oh my ,oh my.....he printed a card right under your nose but he loves you and wants to marry you?you said it right,it hurts alright but you don't need all the drama..if you marry him now and he marries her next week,you will be the first wife who willingly allowed her husband marry a second wife.....drama?you don't even know that word.
it is better to hurt now than later....dump this lying man already abeg..i cant believe the betrayal right under your nose!
What else is he hiding?
The choice lies with you in the end.
*Thank you for all the Saturday and Sunday laughs you normally send in.God bless,guide and guard your steps sweetie.
If this lady curses this guy na, people will say she is wicked.
ReplyDeleteLady shall I tell u something,? No soothing words of comfort can mend ur heart right now. What u will get are the clichés.... "dumo him, God be with u" bla bla bla.
Deletemy dear, cry if u must, weep if u must, 'mourn' him for however long ur heart allows u. But one thing is sure, u will be happy again. How and when? I couldn't tell u.
So....Why waste ur time to endure a night of weeping when joy is certain and promised u in the morning?
Meanwhile tell that ur bf that Mrs Zulu says that he is a bastard.(no apologies) Godspeed.
Exactly!!!!
DeleteThe guy is just wicked honestly. He wants to marry now.. New generation of Dino's.
Please poster, dont bother urself. As hard as it might seem, just move on.
How come my ealier post didn't make it (˘̯˘ ) Anyway dear poster it is tough 1 oo its hurts but don't curse him cry urself a river, build a bridge over it n catwalk over d river. Meaning come out of dis ordeal a much more better person than u ever were. Don't ever think of going back 2 him cos if u hadn't found d card,4get story nigga wld hv strung u along. Just thank God u saw d card my dear. Leave him 2 d fate he has designed 4 himself.
DeleteI had goose bumps while reading dis..almst as if someone walked over my grave. Wat u just described is my biggest fear.
DeleteAm so sorry poster. But u already that its over between you two. Uve been the side chic,and maybe his plan was to still kip u after his wedding.
I had a friend who experienced same. She was infact leaving with the guy in magodo,lets call em bosun and wearing his engagement ring up and down. They had been dating for 2years and he had met her parents.
One fateful weekend she went to an eatery to get snacks and met her fiance's friend. He asked her if she wasn't coming...and she says to where? He says
Ahan the naming ceremony of bosun's third child and 1st son and that today all roads leads to banana island ikoyi, then e left.
She was hospitalized for a month. After numerous attempts kill herself failed.
Obviously smart pants bosun told his friends she was a cousin or something. But today she's married with a beautiful boy.
Morale: better things would come. Hold ur head high. Cry if yu must but accept that hes a lying skank n u deserve better
I ve been in same situation only he confessed and at the same time denied the child was his. I cried for days but I got over it. He refused to marry her and she moved in with his mother. Today he has a son still single while I am very happy in my little corner of the world! Morale it will hurt you now but happiness will definitely find you again
DeleteIT'S TRUE THAT TO CLAIM THE CHILD, WE WILL HAVE TO PAY HER BRIDE PRICE SO THAT THE GIRL'S FAMILY DOES NOT TAKE THE CHILD. MY PROBLEM WITH THIS IS THAT DOING THIS WILL MEAN DECEIVING THE BABY MAMA THAT SHE'S GOING INTO REAL MARRIAGE AND WHEN HE BREAKS IT TO HER, SHE GO CURSE AM OR ELSE THE BABY MAMA IS IN THE KNOW TOO. PRAY GIRL ASK THE HOLY SPIRIT TO GUIDE YOU.
DeleteDUMP HIS ASS!
ReplyDeleteProverbs 20:17 - Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.
DeleteMy dear don't fill ur heart with so much hate.
Focus on making u a better person n never u feel sorry for urself.
Don't ever even reason his good parts,instead concentrate on his monstrous parts n tell urselv u would hav don bera.
U deserv more than all these excuse of men dat always claim to b trapped or snatched.
Good riddance!
I beg dump his sorry ass. Fast. , if he comes begging give him two hot slaps tell him the slap is from me. Cupcake . People are wicked , if na you do am this one hell will let loose .
DeleteWhen stuff like this happens, I always tell people to thank their God. Na God save you. The man that did almost similar to me, every time I think about it, I say God na so you love me reach? If I had married the guy. I would be in misery now.
DeleteMy dear M-amie is right. My ex did the same to me. Going out with him and his first girl (that made me the second gf) found out that hej got married by his bestfriend he told me she was his ex and on top of that the girl was pregnant for him. Talk about betrayal to the highest level. And to add salt to injury the day b4 he got married he was with me in my school hostel. I was soo hurt but to cut the long story short behind every pain there is a blessing. If I did not go through what I did I would not have recognise the character traits of a good man and distinguish that from a selfish man. Also I would not have found out the red alert signs of what I did not want in a man. It took 3 yrs of healing. Wasn't easy esp trusting and loving another man again but time heals all wound. I am happy to say to God be the glory I just got married this January to a man who loves and adores me. WAit for your boaz and don't settle for any man less. That ur bf does not deserve u n the love u have to offer. He is selfish self centered and only loves himself. Let him go, wait for God in his time He makes all things beautiful
DeleteNice comment anon 1:43 am. I particularly like d part u said "WAit for your boaz.". God bless u.
DeleteThis happened to me dear poster but u knw wat? Am a very very happy person now, wen ever I look back all I say is thank God I never married him. While he was dating me he made sure I told every other guy around me that I had him, making me chase them all away. Guess what? I stumbled on his wedding picture on facebook, I never asked him and uptil now he can bring himself to call me. I don't have anytin against him God knows cuz he saved me from life of misery. It was very painful but u knw how I dealt wit it, I just knealt down, cried my eyes out dat night to God, said prayers for my future. God answerd my prayers and brought The best" man to me". Pour ur heart to God and I beleieve he will heal u and wipe ur tears away.
DeleteTime heals d wound of d heart. Take heart dear poster It kud b pretty difficult f u @ d moment but u hav gat t move on dear u cos deserve a better person. Any "one night stand guy" wnt make a faithful hubby. #myopinion
ReplyDeleteThank you Lepa...time heals all wounds and just like the rest of, time has healed our own wounds.
DeleteMove forward poster and keep your temple of God for he who deserves you.
Here's one of the reasons some women go to initiate themselves into witchcraft...just to avenge hurts like this. After now, they'll say a woman is scorned? This is wickedness. I don't even know what to say.
DeleteTime indeed heals all wounds. And there is a reason you found out before it happened. Thank God for that. It could have been worse. I know of a case that a guy was leaving with his girlfriend. He left the house one day in native, only for someone to call the girl that her boyfriend was doing trad with someone.
DeletePlease be strong. And be thankful. No one deserves a cheating man. You will get a much better person that will appreciate your love and treat you like a Queen.
Ma dear@poster,i can imagine hw distraught n betrayed u must feel now but d truth is you dont need dis lying man in ur life.if he loves u as he claimed he shud hv let u knw abt d oda gurl n d pregnancy.damningd hurt he wil feel for losing u cos he brot it by cheating.if he could be talked into planning a wedding for dat gal,then ma darling,he will be convinced to strt living wt her too.frgt all these his pleas abt havin a courtweddn wt u.he will leave u high n dry in d long run.so wipe ur tears,pray,weifh ur options and forget him..to avoid further drama.hugs.
ReplyDeletesee Gobe
ReplyDelete@Galore
Take heart poster..Men!,Men!!,Men..which kain ppl una be?????
ReplyDeleteMy dear pls let go of that confused man,he betrayed u now and would still do it in the future if u ever end up with him
God will send u ur own destined man ok?.
Something better is coming your way. As per the pain you will feel it. Ask God to remove it and please forgive this guy. Then you will heal even faster. If you accept to marry this guy you won't be happy. Let him go with all your heart. And please face the disappointment. Tell your family, it doesn't matter if they laugh. Shit happens. Tomorrow is a brand new day & a new month. Start afresh & hope again. But let go.
ReplyDeleteTake heart poster..Men!,Men!!,Men..which kain ppl una be?????
ReplyDeleteMy dear pls let go of that confused man,he betrayed u now and would still do it in the future if u ever end up with him
God will send u ur own destined man ok?.
Sister, please leave this liar. Don't do anything stupid. God will provide someone that deserves you. Do a lot of praying and meditation at this time, so that God will direct your path. Rose
ReplyDeletePele oooooh,story dat touch d heart
ReplyDeleteOops not again!dis blog shuld be dedicated to d singles.stella will always find something to discorage u ladies.dear poster ur man is a puppy and I will blame u bcos u wuld av seen d signs dat he's a mummys boy and not a real man.well u already know what to do.bye#sipsMoetnChandon#
ReplyDeletemoy dot...wetin be Stella own now???
DeletePlease what are you saying? Typical! Blame the woman for everything. Its now her fault because she did not see he is a mama's boy. Mama's boys should not be irresponsible liars so your whole point is...well pointless Sir.
Delete@times dis moydot guy dey make sense.
DeleteI no dey like comment ontop dilemma of a blogvisitor wu knows alredy wat sh wants to do.its a total waste of my opinion n time
My dear,
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain cos I have been in your shoes. Fact is that there must have been opportunities for you to find out earlier but u let love gobsmack you.
I'm a realist and the only advice I'd give you is LET HIM GO! FORGET GE EVER EXISTED! Cos he'd keep on causing you more pain.
Get busy with work, pick up new project, volunteer for something, just get busy.
21 days later, you'd have forgotten about your ex.
Dear poster, I. Know the feeling been there, cry it all out its ok to cry but after cring pick yourself up and just walk away from everything about him you will see after a while you will be thankful this happened and wonder what you sew in him anyway. Focus on been a better person set good goals for your self and work on achiving them. After the rain comes sunshine. The lord will walk with you in it all.
DeleteMEN....Poster,majority of girls have xperienced this your story before....RUN my dear RUN...that's wht they always say that he had a fling and she got pregnant....STORY!!!...he was dating her behind your back infact,you might even be the side chick sef....dump him and move on biko....a better guy will locate you soon..
ReplyDeleteBut nne u should've posted the IV nah incase another girl is victim to his lies. He doesn't deserve ur loyalty/protection. Expooooose that murrasucka!
ReplyDeleteYou are a liar! Stella she is my friend and she has done the court wedding. Now she is in serious emotional trouble because the guy has left her and is offering her a divorce, she wan die. I heard she had caused drama until she reached her breaking point. Next time, don't let a man cajole you into a secret wedding. I told you it wasn't the best decision but you didn't listen. Wallow in your misery and enjoy it to the fullest. I still love you tho
ReplyDeleteShut up re you sure it's the same person, abeg be sure first before accusing the wrong person.
DeleteYou have absolutely no business adding the I still love you bit!
DeleteTypical frenemie...you LOVE her and you end up spilling your guts on a blog about her private issues?
You love her and call her a liar before strangers?
You love her and the first thing you did was type your comment without thinking of picking up the phone to find out if she sent this in?
If this is your definition of love..may you remain loved up all the days of your life.
With one part of your mouth you whisper curses and expect her to" Wallow in her misery and enjoy it to the fullest" with the other part you say you love!
This your Love is a death sentence! May no-one I know encounter folks like you in real life.
Is anybody reading what this person wrote?? she has already done the court wedding and she is coming here to seek advice.. medicine after death. God help you. people should pls learn from this, if you have to hide to do it, then don't bother doing it
DeleteHahaha let the drama begin.
DeleteAre u effing kidding me?so she went ahead with d wedding?poster pls say the truth and be set free.....ihu n'ihe mere onwegi eeeeeee.......love is blind my foot
Delete@anon 9:58, with friends like you, who needs an enemy? You have the guts to say she is your friend and you are spilling her story on a blog and inderectly mocking her. What makes you think she is the one whose story is here. Don't you know a lot of girls are in this kind of situation?
DeleteMay God forgive you sha.
Girls! When will you people learn to keep your friends secrets? SMH...
Are you truly a friend???...you "heard" she caused drama and u're quick to call her a liar without reaching her to confirm what you heard.....u curse her and claim to love her at the same time.....u are an original frenemy....
DeleteIs this for real? How old is this girl that she will agree to a secret wedding? To achieve what? Is this a Toke Makinwa inspiration?
DeleteGod forbid that I wed this guy In court... How? When I just found out 2day?anon 9:58,I will not cuss u coz u r clearly mistaking me for someone else. May the God lord guide ur path and help ur soul.
DeleteAnon 9:58 I don't know u and u don't know me, I can swear on my life u are mistaking. Stella is the only one I told and that coz of pple like u. May God 4give and deliver u from bitterness and false witness
DeleteHaba, c'ommon guys let's be pragmatic here. First off madame Anon 9:58, if she says she didn't tell anyone, how did u know?
Deleteif she's the same person, why is she lying to get advice? If u tell the doctor u have a headache, when d truth is that u have tummy ache, how will he prescribe u the right drugs? Whom are u deceiving?
@Genny. It wasn't this friend that brought her story here na...so why accuse her of spilling her stories? all she's done is corroborate the already spilt info o.
See this famzer dat wants 2 be noticed on SDK. Abeg carry ur nyash and park somewhere. U just heard her say her family and friends don't know about it. Instead of u confirming if its 1 and d same pesin u want people 2 hail u jst like d ifeoma and esther story?....well, we know ur type and won't be fooled......friend my ass........
DeleteIf this anon is mistaken,then we should be bothered that there's another case like this where the lady made d worst mistake of her life....its so sad that people don't have common sense anymore oh.....I weep for my generation
DeleteStella, this is one hell of a cat, lol.
ReplyDeletePoster, u've said it urslf: u're too young for all this drama. As Stella rightly said, God knows what else he has up his sleeve. I'll advise u too dump him and move on with ur life, he's obviously a player. As per your broken heart, God will heal u; find things to occupy u, surroud ur self with fun people and go out and enjoy your life. You'll c that before you know it, u'll start to forget about him. Take good care of yourself
Whaaaat?! Na wa oooo. Dat guy doesn't love you cuz LOVE will never go all out to decieve another. Babe please I beg you with everythg in me to hold yourself. Cry it all out and feel d pain lessen. Look for som1 to confide in face to face cuz from experience I know a problem shared lessens d burden. U say ure young n for that am hapi n know that soon ull meet a more deserving guy n that's for sure! Please don't harm him, don't go back to him and don't listen to his lies. God is on the throne and will never allow u carry more than u can bear. Know this: Time heals everything darling u'll be fine. God be with u. #sosad.
ReplyDelete@poster,sorry abt what happened,it really hurts,but what u need now is to try to get over him,pray to God first to take away all the feelings u have for him,cry if u want to so u can let the hurt out,go out with friends,look good and make new friends.!before u know it u are over him!
ReplyDeleteI am not talking abt him cos i'd rather it's over btw u two,hes not gud for u cos he's a liar and a two timing niggar dat wants to eat his cake and have it(dats if he really would marry u in court if u agree).if he truely cared abt u,he would have kept u in d picture of the whole scandal with d other gal,then u both would have worked it out together.
Also beware of such a person after now cos I sense he's a smooth talker and manipulator,he will want to still have a relationship with u after his so called marriage!pls don't!dontt disrespect ur person!even if u will be a mistress,not his!cos if he had loved u enuf,he would have done everything to marry u!
Whaaaat?! Na wa oooo. Dat guy doesn't love you cuz LOVE will never go all out to decieve another. Babe please I beg you with everythg in me to hold yourself. Cry it all out and feel d pain lessen. Look for som1 to confide in face to face cuz from experience I know a problem shared lessens d burden. U say ure young n for that am hapi n know that soon ull meet a more deserving guy n that's for sure! Please don't harm him, don't go back to him and don't listen to his lies. God is on the throne and will never allow u carry more than u can bear. Know this: Time heals everything darling u'll be fine. God be with u. #sosad.
ReplyDeleteWipe ur tears darl, let the hatred go fr XT sakes. You'd be fine. Dump him likka bad habit, he's nt worth ur tears, nigga is calous.
ReplyDeleteFor real? You wrote all that but can write "Christ"! Wow! XT?!
DeletePls dump his fucking ass and with time your broken heart will be healed
ReplyDeleteI feel ur pains my lovely sister, please don't marry that lier oh please, cause u gonna trap ur self in bondage for ever, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, be wise
ReplyDeleteDear forget abt dat worthless guy and move on God has better plans for u. Ok
ReplyDeleteChaiiiiiii.men pls fear God Ooº°˚ ˚°º.
ReplyDeleteThat guy is a fool. Poison him with your pussy
ReplyDeleteOh Lord have Mercy!! My dear listen,ur heartache today will be turned to ur blessings tomorrow..dump his sorry ass..U hv to be strong so he doesn't take advantage of u during dis time.He doesn't deserve u dear.U will meet smone much much better I promise.#Move On
ReplyDeletePlz dear poster,stella said t all.jst leave dz guy nw cos he z nt into u as much as u r to him.blv me,dz stinky excuse z his plan B escape route,he knw ur level of undastandin and he knws dt u won't accept d marriage propasal he made to u,he wnts t to look as if u r d person dt quits d relatnship whereas he z d wolf in sheep's clothing.I am a guy and I knw dt dz ur guy planned al dz stuff al d way long.He loved u bt nt as a wife material and he has emotionally exploited u.D best tn to do z to move on wt ur life and look unto God cos God wil definitely channel ur own man.Remain blessed.........ACVES
ReplyDeleteThis Is exactly d same thing that happend to me........lool My dear d earlier u move on with ur life the better.......I never tot I would get ova dat dude when he did dat to me but here I am today alive and healthy.......Remember when one door closes, several others will open......so pls dumb his Ass and b strong
ReplyDeleteMy dear believe me, that wasn't a one night stand n am convinced he has been sleeping with her. That dude is a cunning dirty smallish cheatn tn, move on honey n I pray God gives u a strong heart, life is too short dear, gather d pieces, patch with aradite n run as ur leg can carry.
ReplyDeleteMen are so stupid! She was a one night stand and she knew his mum! *hiiss. Oloshi!
DeleteBullshit! Your boyfriend likely has always kept that woman and knew he would marry her, while he used you for sex and other comforts in your city. Hope you were not washing his clothes, cooking his food, cleaning his house and supporting him financially.
ReplyDeleteGirl, dust yourself off and rise up, shed no tear because such a man is not worth your sorrow. He could not even confess to you before you found out on your own. Kick him to the curb and don't look back. You will not be the first nor the last woman this has happened to.
One woman my aunt always tell me about in their village actually washed and ironed the very suit the man wore to his wedding. She was at home when someone called her to come to the church because her man was getting married, and so she went and there he was getting married in the very suit she had pressed that morning, well she went stark raving mad immediately. Don't put it on your head, man is the most selfish creature ever created, even the Bible cautioned us to "Trust NO man". March on and go conquer your little part of the world. Sending you love.
I agree. I think the other woman has a no to sex before marriage policy. She wisely kept away from visiting his home often. Guy probably found her as a possible sex partner till he gets married. He also may have staged her finding the card. Hmmm after all she saw it just 1 week to the marriage ceremony
DeleteI feel so pained for you dear,
ReplyDeleteBut you should be thankful to God for revealing to you the kind of deceitful and scheming heart you could have gotten married to.
Shit happens, you have to move on. From what you said, you sound like a reasonable lady with a good head.
Let him go. Believe that you'll find someone better.
As you said, you are too young for all these unnecessary drama.
Stella, i take God beg you, no post puzzie again. Y/ou want make we begin dream? Animal wen no dey Bible, fear am
ReplyDeleteHe wants to eat his cake and have it.. He wants to marry the woman and still be doing u on the side telling you stories about how he doesn't love his wife blablabla... Dnt fall for that my dear.. Move on.. I assure u dat 2 months from now u will be wondering what u where crying about.. Give it time.. Time heals broken hearts. Be strong dear..
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster...same happened to me but in a slightly diff way...he was engaged all along...I was heartbroken n my heart was heavy...he wanted me back n doh I rili loved him but den I tot n said 2 mysef 'Y don't I cry my eyes out now,like I dd,hurt now den heal later.than stay cus of love n regret I shud av left earlier' aldoh d pain was much 4 me cus it was my 1st real serious relationship n I was soo happy n I trusted him.so imagine ow I felt wen I learnt of all d lies,deceit n denials. plssss don't curse him.All dose encouragin msg'es Stella posted helpd me a lot.am still healing doh.I av totally forgiven,bless him n am gonna move on.but ask ursef this n ans sincerely.Why choose love wen you know it will hurt u in the long run? WEDU
ReplyDeleteIts sad, but what da hell, dust yourself up and move on! You deserve better!
ReplyDeleteNo one can tell you the best way to get over a heartbreak. Find what works for you, activities that take your mind off the matter. And move on.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever go back to your liar BF. You might not believe it but he never loved you. Men are different from women. A man can show you care and affection and not be in love with you.
If things actually happened the way he painted, I doubt they will bother to print wedding cards. And let me assure you, he wanted you to see that wedding card.
Go and do a test for STDs. God knows how many more girls he's sleeping with.
Yes, he wanted her to see the card. D day is getting closer to marrying his virgin. The player is severing all ties
DeleteA few years ago, a man was proposing to me while preparing for his traditional marriage with a woman that was pregnant for him. I was not interested in him and had never had sex with him yet i was still hurt. I just felt sorry for the lady
ReplyDeleteAn excuse for a BF. He's a devil in human flesh, how can some1 be filled with so much wickedness, wat stops him from telling u d situation right from d beginning, am sure it wasn't any mistake. U'll still learn d whole truth, maybe u were just a side chick
ReplyDeletetime heals all wounds, my dear BREAK THE HELL UP like you said you're too young for drama, he's a bloody liar, you'll find someone better, if you hadn't found the card that's how he would have gotten married without you knowing, you'll hurt but you'll get over it. that's life...sorry
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, run for dear life. He doesn't love you cos if he did he wouldn't even think of cheating on you in the first.
ReplyDeleteI experienced that with my first ever boyfriend and I still believed him cos I was young and naive. Glad that I didn't end up with him though cos when I saw him years, I wondered what the attraction was when I dated him. I am now married to one of the most handsome and nicest men in the world 14yrs later..
Dear poster,really sorry for your pain
ReplyDeleteWith all these stories flying ,wonder if there are still good men out dere??
#God-dey-sha!
Take it easy my dear,forget abt him and move on with ur life.come to tink of it,u shld go down on ur knees and tnk God for showing u his true colour.if dis didn't happen mayb it wld have happened after gettin married to him. GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. Just forgive and let go..... Pls
ReplyDeleteWhat a charade called commitment! My girl,cry! Cry well until the tears stop coming. A good cry helps you mourn completely. When you re spent,trust me,he would be as irrelevant as your typos! Then,you will be relieved that you didn't walk into a marriage that will end in the midst of its years. I am not gonna wonder aloud if you didn't see the signs that the relationship was semi crowded,after all,loving eyes can never see. This man~ child is a pathological cheat! So, if you hadn't found the evidence,he wouldn't ve asked you for a court marriage? An ambitious polygamist of the highest order is what he is;if I ever saw one! Thank God you re still quite young! Apart from looking ahead to better loving opportunities,Its an experience that should make you grow 10years in your head.Tell me how another 'swaker swine' can lead a double life at your expense? It aint happening again! Let this Agbaya,who is heaping curses on his own head by lying in the name of his mother,go and pay bride price for the poor pregnant girl. I hope that one realises who he is with time and run away, after what obviously is a half~ hearted traditional joining. If you are a good woman,you will end well! The universe never forgets its own!.Now go ahead and cry yourself a River sweetness! You will be light headed and calm after the storm.God direct you aright IJN.
ReplyDeleteDear poster it hurts i know buh remember a stitch in time saves nine,pls forget him nd be close to God he will give u strength to pass thru this emotional trauma.hugs.
ReplyDeleteQuit having sex with him. Women have sex with their emotions but men rarely do. Having sex with him is clouding your judgement, he knows it's your weakness and he is taking full advantage of you.
ReplyDeleteI feel his pregnancy claims are bogus. He has been playing you all along. Tell yourself the truth, there must have been signs that another woman is in the picture, you chose not to see it. That's what having sex tends to do to women.
This happened to me o. Just before Christmas three days to our Christmas/New Year's trip to Dubai & Maldives, I was sat at a random event and overheard someone talking about a wedding coming up and he said my then boyfriend's unusual name. So I asked about the details and the guy confirmed the person's wedding he was mentioning was indeed the same guy. The shock that entered my body ehn, then the humiliation then the hurt.
ReplyDeleteSee just a few weeks before that, he had taken me to his family house and told his parents and uncle that he intended to marry me and they had us kneel down and pray for us. Meanwhile they were already planning a wedding at this point. But these wicked people still prayed o.
After I heard this, I met up with him for our usual drinks and dinner date and I asked him if I was invited to his wedding. He denied it, until I said "if you're lying to me, you will never know happiness in your life and success will never be close to you" then he admitted that his previous ex had gotten pregnant when we had a brief break in October and went to meet his parents immediately. I slapped him then and there, Ended the relationship. No amount of love is worth that much humiliation and pain.
Except he lied. His baby was born full term in January. So if I decided then to forgive him and continue the relationship, this is the mess I would have started my New Year with? Olorun maje o!
Please let me tell you, forgive him. He fooled you but he's sown a seed that he must surely reap. Next thank God that you dodged such a bullet, he saved you from a lifetime of misery and pain. Then focus on yourself. There has to be a goal/project you want to accomplish, devote your energy and time on it. For now, I say, stay away from men. Emotions are running too high to make a great decision. Me I'm still not over it, but every day I think about it even less.
Dis same tin happened 2 me exactly...evry bit of wat she sed happened....it wsnt easy 4 me, it tuk me almost 3yrs 2 get ova it but I did in d end,I ws hurt,I ws bitter,in pains evry single day....sumtyms I'd feel lyk am avin a heart attack cos it ws lyk a physical pain in my chest,breathin wuld bcum difficult,I ws avin panic attacks,I culdnt tell no1 @ 1st until months later. And den I sum1 found me,oh God sent me a wonderful man,even while we started courtin,I ws stil avin panic attacks n all dat but he helped me overcome it,he wuld pray wit me, assure me.....and finally it happened,I let go of d pain n hurt...in all d times I ws hurt,God knws I neva cursed my ex infact I pray 4 him n his family for God 2 forgive him n turn his heart 4rm wickedness,sumtyms I wuld wanna curse him but I'd rada say God bless u,dat experience almost ruined my lyf,my results dat year ws a sori case,I ws a mess but tank God for 2frnds wo were dere 4 me,tankGod for God cos he is d only one I ws cryin 2 evrynyt...tank God for my present rltnshp,he is Godsent, tank God 4 my ex n his wyf n kids,dey called me 2 apologise n ask 4 4gvness,tank God 4 wisdom 2 say d ryt tins...I am healed of d pain but sumtyms I get scared dis same tin can happen again and God knws if it does again,I wuldnt b able 2 bear it but I blive it won't n if it does,God gve me d strength 2 overcome it...I feel ur pains dear poster but u wil surely overcome it,mine ws worse but luk @ me, am hapi 2day. God wil heal ur broken heart! God bless ui'd lyk 2 reach out 2 u,let me knw if u wuld b comfortable wit dat n I wil drop a number here u can call or text me on. U are a strong woman n d best is almost close 2 u,blive me. I dnt knw u but I feel lyk I knw u already n dis myt sound strange but I do luv u mayb cos its dsame experience.u are stronger dan u tink.
ReplyDeleteThank u so much for ur kind words of encouragement, God bless you.
DeletePls do drop ur number.
God bless u for sharing this. May ur happiness be permanent. May u never knw heartbreak such as this again. GOD bless u
DeleteDear poster,whatever u r going thru this moment has happened bfor and it will happen again cos God causes the same things to happen over and over again(Eccle 3:15).it happened to me,when i was 20 years old.i dated the guy for 2 years ie 18-20.i lost my virginity to him.i heard of his marriage plans from his best friend who thot he had already told me.i sent him a text immediately and told him congratulations.That was d last time i picked his calls.u know i cud feel my heart break into two.i cried everymorning and night for a month straight.i cudnt leave the house and i am very introverted so i didnt have friends..a week to his marriage,he sent me his wedding invitation,i remember i was on my way to school that day,i turned back home and went straight to my bed and wept. He kept calling me bfor and after his wedding.A week after his wedding,he showed up at my house.when he was tired of knocking,he left. I never let him see how much he hurt me. Up until today,he still sends me messages on my bday..I dont hate him or anything and i forgave him a long time ago but i just cant bring myself to respond to his msgs(i just let sleeping dogs lie)..The truth is this,no one can help u wid d pain u r going thru..not even ur friends (who im sure will be very pleased to hear what u r going thru just so they can tell someone else). Give yourself time,mourn him,cry all u want and turn to God.Beg him to forgive all your sins and fix you.He is the potter and he will mend ur broken heart if u just let him.After mending it,he will bring u a perfect man..that is what i did.i kept my bible in front of me everyday,wept and prayed to God to heal me..i know u will be fine wid time,stronger too..im sorry dear,really sorry.
ReplyDeleteCry as much as u can,get over him,start meeting new frnds esp guys so u can start dating along d line and then to punish his ass wed him in d court so u can have ur revenge when u divorce him. He'd lose a lot to u if he's rich. U'll use that one to console urself for d stress. *wicked grin**
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your pain. But you know you've already said it, you deserve better than this and you are too young for this kind of drama.
ReplyDeleteGirl, that is all you need to know. It's time to toughen up. To chin up and to get back on your feet. Do not allow a lowlife lying cheat deprive you of your joy and peace. Look him in the eye and toss his untrustworthy ass out of your life.
You have a right to cry and to cry it all out. But when all that is done (and one day is enough), then clean yourself up, look your best and head back out there. That one you deserve, that one who will treat you right, that one who will know your true worth is still out there and you gotta catch him, okay *winks*.
It is well. Believe it and wipe your tears.
And a little prayer also helps the healing process.
Cheers!
Goldscent DiamondJanuary 31, 2014 at 11:11 PM has said it all.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby has a friend like that. He had a main girl who he married, and many girlfriends for diff purposes. There was one girlfriend we all thot was the main chick cos he used to carry her around and all his friends knew her, so we were quite surprised when he seemed to be marrying someone else from out of the blues. Turns out they'd been dating 7 years. He went to the girlfriend crying saying he didn't know how it happened, and his parents pressured him to marry the girl which was a lie.
Better thank God you dodged a bullet. His wife is so miserable, cos even after marriage, he didn't change. Several girlfriends, all of whom he dates proper. Very wicked guy!
I'm so happy God revealed his true nature to you. If you allow him keep manipulating you she'll born the second child by accident too, and you'd be labelled the homewrecker that does not want to give the wife peace in her marriage.
Better take your life lessons from this, and give thanks.
My dear, you have no business calling this guy your boyfriend. None @ all. I think you should cry all you can. It will help. Everything good will come. Just don't be in a hurry. Things will eventually fall into place. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWhen you break up with someone and get back with that same person you guys need to have a talk. Not to exchange sordid details, just a talk to say we are officially back so let's end all other projects and work on this. Basically reaffirm your commitment to being exclusive. You might even want to stroll in to a clinic and catch up in that regard as well
ReplyDeleteWe need to learn to recognize people who are on the rebound. No matter what they say about their ex, there is still a long way to go before they are truly over him or her. And if you just break up, give yourself time to sort your shit out.
My advice to guys, learn to stand on your word. Learn to be open. Learn to ask yourself what/who you really want and stick to it. Your indecision causes more damage than you know.
And dear poster I don't think you are a fool, you can want someone so bad you will accept them on any terms and believe everything they tell you. You just have to believe God wants more for you than to be managing remnants.
Thank you all your wise counsel and words of ecouragement is really helping me. God bless you all abundantly
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, everything happens for a reason. I know you're in so much pain now but in the depths of your heart, thank God for exposing your would-be fiancé for who he really is; an undisciplined person, a man who has no regard for you, someone who's still tied to his mother's apron strings. And trust me, you don't need the drama of being a second wife. Polygamous families come with a myriad of problems that can be avoided. He is not the last man on earth. So do yourself a favour and don't walk into a gutter with your eyes wide open. Wipe your tears, and move on with your life. Involve yourself with good activities that you love to take your mind off the issue. It is well.
DeleteI feel lyk revengin 4 u,I swear 2 God,#so angry#
ReplyDeleteGod will revenge for me in his own time. Am grateful to him for saving from this terrible relationship
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