This is interesting.....Read the mail of one woman who believes so much that marriage is for everyone and she has sent in this mail so that those who are discouraged because of so many negative stories,stay strong and believe,i have underlined and highlighted all the keypoints in her mail,please dwell on it as you read and go about your Monday morning activities........oh,she is an American based Blog visitor.......LOBATAN!
'' Hello Stella,
I read your blog daily even though my husband thinks the stories. i read on it cannot be real( hes ajebo so i don't blame him lol) I know you can probably see my name from the email but please don't put my name on the post.
A lot of people are always sending you emails about how their husbands do this or that to them and how marriage has frustrated them or brought out the worst in them.
First i would like to say that my marriage has brought out the best in me. My husband is not common and it could only have been God. These ladies that are complaining about their husbands, a lot of them have not read their bible. They got married out of societal pressures.
The problem with marrying an idiot starts with you. When you were dating, you saw the red flags and refused to address them. Now they are expecting sympathy and " advice" from blog readers who also are not grounded in the things of God.
I am writing this email to let your readers know that there are good and godly marriages out there. I haven't been married for too long but honestly marriage has been good for me. We both fear and serve God, put him first. And let the word of God be your referral not human beings. I know for a fact that the kind of submission i give to my husband is rare these days. As a woman your power is in your submission. But then, people say submission is stupidity, if you are in that category, please ignore the message.
Single ladies out there please do not be overwhelmed by the horror marriage stories. Let God lead you in the choice of a life partner. Put God first, not money or fame. Don't rely on any man please. Have your source of income and don't look at what your neighbour has or the school their kids go to.
PS; Both my husband and i are doing very well. We both bring a significant chunk to the table. We live in this same US where horror marriage stories emanate daily.
If you are not a christian, this still applies to you. God created marriage.
Thanks.''
*THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL MAIL OPE!
I agree....
ReplyDeleteAlthough some people change once they get married...
but then again, if both parties are of sound mind in the teachings of the lord, then this piece is applicable.
In other news. Plz who has seen Mrs B abi D. I haven't seen / read 4m her lately!
DeleteYes oh, union in the service of God is fill with blessing. It begin with dating. Be sincere
DeleteSubmission again? My bf told me he prefers submission to love. N I told him, "when you bring money more than I can spend, submission will automatically come." Lol!
ReplyDeleteOga....
DeleteI follow u laugh joor
DeleteDearie u can't b submissive to some u don't love. So I thk they go hand in hand. Since u love him, b submissive.. # 4m cole#
DeleteI feel you. How can a woman be submissive to her hubby when she is the breadwinner? That's like next to impossible. Even me at times its kinda difficult being submissive because I do most of the bulk spendings. God help and direct we women that are breadwinners
DeleteI feel U̶̲̥̅̊ dere. Submission to hubby works like juju Am a living testimony. A man will always love n respect D̶̲̥̅̊a̶̲̥t̶̲̥̅̊ woman who sees him as her lord (diwenmu in igbo *direct translation my owner*) so please follow biblical rules n U̶̲̥̅̊ will definitely bring out T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ best in D̶̲̥̅̊a̶̲̥t̶̲̥̅̊ man U̶̲̥̅̊ think is a devil.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm true talk. I agree wit 80percent of dis. Bt nt everytin. D fact dat urs is perfect and u were lucky to marry a God fearin man does nt apply to everybody else too. One tin u should also know is dat sum men can pretend for Africa. Nt all of dem are d same.
ReplyDeleteIn as much as I agreed with some of the things she said especially the part of submission , but I refuse to accept that marriage is as smooth and problem -free as she may want us to believe in her mail. From all indications, her marriage is still young! I would only agree totally whenever an old woman comes to tell us that her marriage has been problem free. No quarrels, no misunderstanding(from in laws, families.etc ), no sexual complains, no interference from both families, no financial problems, no disagreement of ideas, Etc
DeletePlease, make una understand me!
There are good marriages out there but they're not PROBLEM -FREE..... Am only trying to be realistic here!
U meet a pretender wen u r one ursef dats y dey say like term (persons) attracts. Marrying a God fearing man is not luck, it is grace. U build ursef up in Christ n wen d time of marriage coms God blesses u wt a worthy son who is Godly minded too but If u feel u r not deserving of a God fearing man then am sorry u wnt get one.
DeleteIf u want a God fearing man u have to be God fearing first of all. There's no marriage that doesn't have its ups and downs. How u confront the issues is what is important. The bible says to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Looking at that critically u realise d logic. If u r unequally yoked with an unbeliever, when issues crop up u will be trying to solve it the Godly way bt d unbeliever will want it solved d worldly way. Of course u know where that can only lead. What biznes has light with darkness? On the other hand, for the secular minded individual, it's based purely on luck and how u can handle matters. U have to be extremely tolerant and understanding, and contented. The poster tried to encourage us all bt #Ify seems to b a pessimist. May your case not be like that of Job that had to lament 'the thing I fear most has come upon me'
Delete@butta
Stella Kindly give Ope a huge hug for me! She's indeed one of the Virtous Women Prov 31 mentioned.
ReplyDeleteReading this just strenghtened my fragile heart.
If a Man doesn't care about ur Soul, he can NOT be your soulmate!
If a Man is not on the same Frequency with You Spiritually, Move on!
I know for a fact that God cannot create me if am not a Mans missing rib, I just have to be patient & enduring enough to wait for that SPECIAL men I'll complement.
May God grant all the Trully God fearing girls out there their EQUIVALENCE!
A God fearing Man is a Provider & Protector! In his bid to Obey God, he becomes the BEST hubby to his wife: No Infidelity, Insincerity or DV!
Am still waiting for mine.... Patiently....
I TRUST God...
Please..Marriage is not for everyone.some people re destined to remain single for life.#sipsMoetnChandon#
Delete@Ruthylicious! I luv ur comment esp wit d part of 'I knw 4a fact dat God cannot create me if am nt a mans missin rib.... Vewi inspiring n I say Amen 2dat o!
Delete@ moy dot....pple hre need encouragemnt n ur sayin marriage s nt4everyone. Datz d worst 4m of encouragemnt.
Well Said!
ReplyDeletemy husband was not a womanizer when we started dating. he could leave his phone with me for days..... but now he guards his phone like his life depends on it. numerous female callers he never answers their calls in my presence but when he goes out he calls them minutes unending. and that was the no 1 reason i married him because i know jealousy brings out the worst in me. and the fool keeps telling me im the perfect woman for him. nonsense
ReplyDeleteThere is something you are doing wrong, it is either u are becoming boring or you have changed drastically or maybe u didn't know him so well.
DeleteThis is why men will never make the effort to chang. ..just check out the ccertainty in your statement. ..what if her husban is bbeing influenced by friend. ..the hhusband is doing something wrong and then it must be the wife's fault. ..na wa...abeg anon with cchanging husband have a heart to heart talk with your hubby...tell him your fears. And if he feels you are the cause then he should let you know so you can make corrections. But he shouldnt have any excuse to be acting funny towards yo. ..QED
DeleteDats a lie Miz Aidaj, you do not need to do anything wrong before a man starts to cheat on you.
DeleteWhy does d blame always fall on d woman? Na wa o.
It's stupid comments like this that irritate me.... How come we women don't jump into affairs when men do smithing wrong...see ur big mouth like she must have done something wrong
Delete"your power is in ur submission". This got me finkn......submission,submission, submission
ReplyDeleteAll she said is absolutely true. D standard we hold unto in relationships does not go inline wid God's standard. Criteria for marrying dis days is just heartbreaking. May God help us in making d right choice. Open our understanding beyond wat we see on d surface.
ReplyDeletethanks a lot ma cos the thought of marriage scares me but God will see us through Amen.
ReplyDeleteYea we know that already! Buh a lot of us tend 2 forget or overlook it most of d times! Stella twasn't all d keypoints u highlighted dear! "Put God first, not money or fame. Don't rely on any man please. Have your source of income and don't look at what your neighbour has or the school their kids go to" if this is not a key point den i wonder what d meaning of keypoint really is!
ReplyDelete#doctorbobby
Erhhmm bobby nnoma, if she highlights every point, then no need to even highlight.
DeleteYes have your source of income. Great point.
ReplyDeleteThanks dear, for this mail. It's encouraging. @ times, one wonders if one will have a beautiful home with d way unfortunate tales abound.
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Am I d first?
ReplyDeleteYes.
DeleteLOLL
DeleteThanks so much for this post. The underlined sentences have really said it all. May God continue to bless your union
ReplyDeletePls share your endometriosis stories @ endochallenges.wordpress.com. Let's beat endo together !
Well said
ReplyDeleteShe's so right,in everything u do u must put God first and be grounded in his words,there's no two ways about it.some ppl think relationship/marriage is all about attraction,love etc it goes far beyond that. May God help us
ReplyDeletefirst tym of commenting in this blog.stella l luv ur blog keep it up.Am inspired by what d woman said God first n other tinz shall b added onto u.
ReplyDeleteOmg. This just made my day
ReplyDeleteSo true.
ReplyDeletePlease check my page http://bit.ly/1c5pjDL. Thank u.
I totally agree...especially on d 1st point.....everyfin ur man will become is Highlighted in a reltionship....we av so much case of violence now, women running here nd there when about 95 percent could have prevented it by not marrying d man saying he will change....well like som1 use 2say, if ur bf or Fiancé is slapping his sis or cousins nd u foolishly says "no he loves me too much 2 hit me" when he dosnt see his sisters or cousins again, u will be d nxt in line
ReplyDeletebeautiful...and yes, there are Godly and good marriages. like she said submission remains the key for every woman. it weakens men. just show them they are in control, give them the ideas as suggestions, let them feel they are the ones making the decisions and you'll see them always dancing to your tune.
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDelete@Galore
am just sad right now
ReplyDeleteThe founder of TBN...Trinity broadcasting netwrk....@Paul Crouch is Dead
Rip man of faith
@Galore
I am waiting for her next mail down the line to hear a diff song......it hot this same thing when my marriage was just about 3 year.....8 year down the line am singing a diff story.....marriage is good but overrated....some problems show up in marriage that you have no inkling to till it rears it's head......and am sorry dear submission is not a panacea for all problems in marriage, while that helps greatly some women have done all yet their husbands have affairs......if this article does not have theis mindset that it is your fault you have a bad marriage then it's ok but if that is her stand point for writing this then am so waiting for her to start having problems so I can laugh.....
ReplyDeleteJulit,why re u usin an anonymous to write???we knw its you.stop hiding
DeleteDear anonys no one is saying problems won't come even in God fearing marriages. But how u react to it matters a lot. Prayers dose a lot in marriages, don't stop praying. For your marriage because every is fine @ the monent. Keep committing it in prayers and you will get that change you so desire. I have been married for almost 8yrs now, and when am faced with a problem I go fasting and praying and start declaring whhat Gods words says concerning marriages and be4 u no it, problem solved. So. My dear fast and pray for the change u want in your marriage no body but ucan effect that change. God bless your home.
DeleteShe will NOT have probs in Jesus name!
DeleteSo full of inspiration, love ur post dear. Point of correction (Ajebota do visit here ooh).
ReplyDeleteCosign!
ReplyDeleteWell said, except for the submission part. Women marrying because of envy, jealousy, peer/ family pressure and finally for material gains. Serves them right, all these married women now complaining need to shut the fuck up. They made their beds now lay in it, and i do not mean taking a lover like most of you nasty married women do.
ReplyDeleteThis sort of person will run to God if they encounter any problem in thier marriage, they will not solicit for advise from their fellow man. So anonymous 25 that is waiting to laugh at her problems, before you hear the problem God will have answered her prayer.
ReplyDelete@poster thank u verymuch for dis, I think there's still hope to say I do.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with her.
ReplyDeleteHi Aramide,ao has ur day been? *in pink-shell's voice* are u d one,or is dia another?
ReplyDeleteHehehehe @ bitchplis
DeleteIts a gud tin u ask oo
So as north to waist ur time #InIgboticTong
Plz always add d bible passage so u don't get sued for plagiarism (hope I got d spellin right)
Yes oo...ride on SDK
ReplyDeleteCLICK HERE TO READ THIS VERY INTERESTING GIST
Its so easy for y'all to say 'have a source of income', so wat happens to wives like us, seriously searching for jobs but can't find none and without enough income to start up a bussiness...pls y'all should stop making me feel miserable abeg, having a source of income as a woman is not a criteria for a happy marriage, it just makes it easier...not every housewife is happy 2 be one, but having a source of income is not so easy these days
ReplyDeleteThank God for ur life and marriage madam. When I married my husband I intended to be completely submissive to him cos dats what I grew up with but when my husband started cheating I just lost it. My husband is still one of d most wonderful human beings in d world and there is nothing I wish than to always make him happy by being submissive. Am just begging God to heal my heart and make me forgive him completely expecially now dat we live abroad and am like 99% sure he is not cheating. The thought of him with another woman still gives me alot of pain expecially dat I know I can never ever cheat on him ever. God please heal me.
ReplyDeleteThat's why its safest marrying a God fearing man...that covers a lot
ReplyDelete1. A God fearing man (a true one though) would know how to speak to you when offended
2. He would treat you how he wants to be treated
3. Would be a perfect example to his kids, cus he prays and is disciplined
4. A God fearing man knows he should get a job rather than depend on his wife (he that doesn't work should not eat)
5. Would find it hard to cheat on his wife
Just find a God fearing man, atleast God has given us that choice, then present him to God, and if he isn't perfect pray to God to perfect all that concerns him.
That's my take on it
This is the best comment. I read the article and I was shaking my head.
DeleteThat article made it seem like all men are the same.
No. I'm married. My husband is stubborn. Doesn't listen to anyone. Knows what is right and doesn't do it just because he doesn't want to do what is expected/what everyone does.
The key to a successfully happy marriage is a good fearing man. A couple that builds the Foundation in God.
Bone submissive. If u are submissive to a man wey no fear God, you just dey waste ur time.
One thing I know is that marying an Idiot doesn't start with you. Atleast not always. Some people are born pretenders. They can put on a show that will even suprise the devil.
ReplyDeleteWhen you love someone you are suppose to trust them. Sadly some use this trust against thier loved ones into tricking them only to show their real colour in marriage.
God instituted marriage, he is the owner we r just managers.
ReplyDeleteAnd his plans are of good and not of evil
What we need do as humans is jst to tarry in the presence of God, seek his face for d right life partner because marriage goes a long way in determining what your future would be.
Yea challenges will come, no doubt even if you are with the right person but if the marriage is built on God, come rain come storm come everything; it will alwaiz stand!
Lovely mail poster, I'm encouraged.
Little I knw abt about people especially men is that they don't change except they decide to themselves,ladies should try and be with a man that even their bad side can be tolerated.the issue of submission most women are not submissive to their husband at all,if you see the way some women treat their husband in public very terrible,I think women have to submissive,patient and also know what they want in a man,they shouldn't keep tolerating a man because they dnt want to b single
ReplyDeletePls where can I get good quality cosmetics in lugbe,abj
ReplyDeleteAbolutely right...
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Welcome to the 21st Century, where most women don't want to hear the word "submission" in marriage. They forget, HE who blessed the wedding at Cana also blessed their marriages, and hence created attributes in the relationship similar to that of HIS relationship with HIS Bride, The Church. Ephesians 5:21-33. So, if you're not submissive to your husband, even if he loves you, you'll NEVER reap the full benefits of his love. Your marriage becomes bitter after some years and when divorce tunes start playing eventually you'll wonder what went wrong. I know some men are beasts, but most men go over the moon for their spouses who give them utmost respect. It's natural, not fiction. So be submissive and reap the full benefits of GOD'S blessings in your marriage. Be a bride to your husband, and he'll love. And a man who loves his spouse can do ANYTHING for her, even without her asking. Be Blessed.
ReplyDeleteMy Dear marriage cnt b for everyone, dats y d convent exists, hehehe... n as for ur submission ish... wen u hv bin married for 30yrs, I will take ur word hook, line n sinker.
ReplyDeleteHumm Marriage is not 80% about the advice ppl that are having it nice give, different ppl with diff characters, my husband was very nice,calm,and loyal before i married him,i make breakfast,lunch and dinner, and we both work o, i do all my best to make him feel loved,yet he still cheat to the extent that he got infection and passed it to me more than ones,what do i do? am still praying and believing that he will change cos we are just one year old, life is very good so i don not say the opposite,Marriage is an institution that you do not graduate from as Africans o, God is the only one to run to,i have my flaws too,just keep trusting God
ReplyDeleteIn as much as I agreed with some of the things she said especially the part of submission , but I refuse to accept that marriage is as smooth and problem -free as she may want us to believe in her mail. From all indications, her marriage is still young! I would only agree totally whenever an old woman comes to tell us that her marriage has been problem free. No quarrels, no misunderstanding(from in laws, families.etc ), no sexual complains, no interference from both families, no financial problems, no disagreement of ideas, Etc
ReplyDeletePlease, make una understand me!
There are good marriages out there but they're not PROBLEM -FREE..... Am only trying to be realistic here!
Lmao Stella even after she asked you not to put her name up, you still thanked Ope.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
ReplyDeleteOoooh Ope u r blessed, submission truly works like magic, most women mistake it for slavery to their partner but no, it's more like stooping to conquer, it always works, EVERY man wants to feel like he's the Lord, no matter how much he loves you, total insorbordination and slowly make his love complacent
ReplyDeletemy dear ope, i am a pastors daughter. i have seen born again christians also struggle with marriage. even as i am, i will marry. but trust me, i won't rule out anything. speak for yourself oh! i have seen ppl marry pastors and end up with horror stories. so please speak for yourself.
ReplyDeletemy advice to single ladies, fall in love but keep an open mind and don't forget to take ur brain along. a God-fearing man today can change tmr, not because he wasn't d will of God for u, but because he is human.
Articles like these don't impress me....sanctimonious and make itound like women who have problems in marriage it's their faults......when you have gone 10 years down the line come back and give us an update......let's get an example of the kind of rare submission you give your husband......rare indeed.....I know countless pastors who are even supposedly more godly than your husband and still do horrible stuff to their wives, so if you are lucky your hubby is a good man don't come here and make it like its cos you are all that......it's the same annoying and stupid mindset that put pressure on women whose husbands cheat and make it like it's their faults.....am man who is bad is bad for himself and a good man man is good for himself.....we should all just do our best dats all
ReplyDeleteThis is true. I agree.
ReplyDeletehttp://fashionnoviceloveprofessional.blogspot.com/
submission means u should allow him to cheat on you abi? thats the only way peace can reign in the home. Allow me put my dick in any slut and still put the same dick in your wife. submission my foot.
ReplyDeleteThe strength of a woman is in her softness. @poster well said
ReplyDeleteI totally believe in wat this woman said,and i'm gonna be submissive to my hubby wen i get married no matter what happen,my mum is my role model n i alyz pray to God to give me the kind of patience my mum had to sustain the marriage,this her 52yrs in marriage and still counting,the kind of shit my mum take in her marriage I don't think any of her children can,funny enough mum&dad still eat togeda from d same plate.Even in singles forum too wat dat man said the 1st tin u can get a man with is by been submissive,and for women is by telling her how beautiful she looks and dat u love her, but for men just tell them they are ur crown and u will follow wateva he says,even dis my guy like it wen I respect him,and will do anytin at dat time I call him brothers, but marriage dis days is something else,and western life isn't helping our culture and traditions again,women wat to be heard too while God has made us reserved .anyways sha
ReplyDeleteHow can the same place that is supposedly giving good advice also dole out condemnation?
ReplyDeleteBecause every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled: and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Hmm marriage ,we need to learn alot before getting in and out of it. for counselling and advice you can contact our office with this email below.
ReplyDeleteNOTE: your cases are treated with confidentiality.
addyone40@yahoo.com
So apparently all the horror stories are only possible because they allowed themselves marry idiots? What of the lady Stella posted about that married a pastor, and was treated very badly? And the countless domestic violence stories published here?i guess they deserve it because they didn't marry your godly husband. Submission is the answer to all marital problems, abi?Your arrogance is nauseating! Thank God for yours and move along. You're now a marriage counselor because you're lucky to have a "good man" in a relatively new marriage.
ReplyDeleteEverything about this email reeks of ignorance, superiority complex and victim-blaming. I understand that in a world of so many bad news, sometimes, people need a good story, a story of possibility but to claim that the 'gift' of a good man was somehow based on something you did right is absolutely 'self-exalting and condescending to other 'good' women who do not enjoy your results. This is a classic act of victim-blaming and for someone who claims to live in the US, that's so disappointing. To start with, you should not use your marriage, or your husband as representative symbol of every marriage/husband. That is where the irrationality starts. To expect that every principle that works for you also works for every marriage is wrong. Secondly, you make submission or lack of it appear like the major problems in most marriages whereas, some 'dangerous' form of 'submission to violent men is the reason we come here to blame women who didn't escape a violent husband early enough. My dear, lots of women 'submit'; even to their detriment, but a bad man is a bad man. You also noted the husbands people marry are a reflection of those people themselves: also another big flaw in your email. By this assertion, you have also chosen to ignore all the dynamics that can conceal people's character until after marriage. More importantly, you forget that most marriages always start good until there is a major calamity that hits them: loss of a child, financial problems, childlessness, family problems, illness, loss of jobs-any of these things can start up a frustration in either party and introduce rift in an otherwise good marriage. You live in the US, you and your husband have got good jobs, your husband was probably well-raised (because you mentioned he even finds it difficult to believe the real life stories he reads here) in a good home, hence he has positive role models and knows how to treat a woman. How dare you assume that a man who has had abusive parents, watched his father beat his mum, survived poverty and squalor and all other unimaginable devils Nigerian men have to fight with; will KNOW how to behave like your darling perfect husband? You are having a good marriage, that's beautiful. Lovely! Enjoy it and stop going around looking at people who do not have your experience as though they are not doing something right. I live abroad, have a very good job and have excelled more than most young people my age-but I know so many friends who worked harder than me in Nigeria but didn't get the chance I am got in life. I have simply enjoyed grace in my career and finances-and 'grace' by its very nature does not have much to do with 'earning' or 'deserving' it. I am very perplexed at the way Nigerians who live abroad think and generalize. What do you know about human character? Even God has described the heart of man as 'desperately wicked'. If you enjoy your marriage, it is fine. Everyone has been blessed in different areas. The same way someone could have a great marriage and have health issues (for no fault of theirs). I guess all the millions of abused children all over the world also didn't pray enough. Or submit enough. It is sad that you say this. Every problem of marriage is not 'submission-related'. The world is a big, dynamic place filled with dynamic, ever-changing people. To use your very young marriage as 'poster' for all marriages is really shallow. You both have good jobs right? When you face the trials that most marriages in Nigeria go through; when your husband brings another woman home, when life has rocked your boats and you both still remain strong (which is possible), only then can you come out here and 'preach' about good marriage. Your post is typical of shallow minded people who have not experienced tough times in life-typical.
ReplyDeleteKisses for this piece dear,u nailed it.
DeleteBest comment ever.
DeleteI have so much respect for this post and the poster!
DeletePls I'll be getting married next year, God will, we are good buh for one tin, we dont seem to agree on spending. We see tins differently in this sense. Anytin to be so much worried abt??
ReplyDeleteIf marriage is for everyone,why do we have nuns???
ReplyDeleteIf marriage is for everyone,why do we have nuns???
ReplyDeleteThank you Mrs no name for this piece.you have given your clue or rather opinion about u feel about marriage(your own).But doesn't say for others.it seems some of us are pagans n don't know God in this blog.your husband is not common either is anyother person's hubby common.All men came in different packages from God.for example I dated my husband 3yrs b4 marrying him n I sort the face of God b4 doin so.In this 3yrs of courtship he was the best man any woman could dream of,he led me to Christ.so I would be more stupid if I didn't marry him.But immediately we got married he changed like a chameleon,wud I have known y dating him that he would change.He was addicted to sex n he could go any length to get it, was it that I was not praying to God or I didn't know him or I was to tall to know as a married woman I need to be on my knees daily.my dear let me not bore u with my life story cos I have once shared it on this blog.I also believe in marriage like u do.And I have been submissive to things I can't mention.But don't rub successful marriage on our faces like u ve seen anything.By his grace my marriage was 12yrs last month n I actually started enjoying it on the 9th year.I never tried anything new bt I never relented on praying to God.And that was the year he decided to change my story.Am blessed n thankful.So my dear poster since your marriage is still young n I didn't hear u mention kids u need to still keep the fire burning oooo nne!And dnt come rubbing successful young marriage to our face like we dnt know God.Evil is everywhr bt it can never overcome good.Some pple get relieve from this blog when they run to it.You can't imagine what some women have gone through b4 they bare their mind here.some even contemplate suicide bt kind words n advice from matured minds in this blog have kept them.you read the comments n pick the ones you feel touched you n your situation.Like u said some blog visitors dnt know the things of God but they have touched lives in one way or the other.when I ran here some years ago,bloglord,somadina,mummi kamsi,ms Kay n et al where angels in disguise.so my dear speak for yourself n not others.As u are deep in the things of God n others are not,let it be.All the best.*pardon my typos oo*..
ReplyDeleteIf marriage is for everyone,why do we have nuns???
ReplyDeleteAnon 5:13, abeg chop knuckles. U took d exact words ryt out of my mouth. As d igbos would say, onye ogaziri nwe mba.( it is he, whom it is well with, dat has d ryt to brag) Hmmmm, it is well abeg.
ReplyDeleteAnon 78, preach on sister... 1000 likes
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 8:14 and 8:21 God bless you for your comments.......it is her type abused women run to and she will tell them "God bless you go and submit without giving any fault to the man"....any bad marriage is the fault of the man as well as the woman....imagine her saying her type of submission is rare......do you know the type of submissions our mothers gave and have stayed married for year? Do you know the rubbish they endured cos of that kind of submission? The things they endured under that kind of submission is not the type God desires for his children and because women are now demanding to be treTed better is why a lot of marriages are hitting the rock fast.......a lot more articles should be written for men on how to love their wives like Christ loved the church then things will begin to get better.....their is no marriage in heaven so nobody should die cos of marriage?.....
ReplyDelete@ Princess Zee. Thx jare. They'll all be parrotting about having a source of income as if its easy. Been looking for a job for a while now and not enough money to start up d biz on my mind. So should I kill myself? Thank God for d man He blessed me with shaa
ReplyDeleteThanks Anon #78
ReplyDeleteMy own 2 cents-
Marriage is not for everybody & that is the plain truth...Some people are not matured enough, submissive enough, loving enough, patient enough, understanding enough, considerate enough ( In fact a truck load of enough) to be able to stay & make their marriages work.
People change & that is the painful truth & traits that one can never imagine or think he / she will ever imagine he / she will exhibit comes into manifestation if circumstances beyond their control comes into play.
Childlessness, finances, experiencing a BIG trauma like watching your wife being raped, death of a child (so many things that one didn't or couldn't for-see that will ever happen in ones marriage) are things that can change one's perspective or psyche for life & it will take the grace of God to make things beautiful again.
Your marriage is beautiful...thank God for it. I also have a beautiful marriage but I don't see mine as being as a result of our hard work per say...God's grace has played a HUGE part in it.
Do not castigate people whose marriages are falling apart unless you have walked/ worked in their shoes ( you don't know what they are going through) yeah some people wreck theirs with their own hands BUT some are just as a result of things happening which they could no longer / could not handle.
Thank you very much for your response. You capture a lot of my thoughts and I appreciate that you took time to write such a detailed reply. I think we long for "easy and simple" solutions to very complex problems and there is a tendency to assume that others share our experience. I do not understand how a person would generalize based on their own experience (a sample size of one). To use words like submission without understanding that, in different contexts it means different things is sad. Like you said so eloquently, it is easy for a marriage to be "good" when it hasn't faced many major challenges or turbulent times. Yet, it is important to understand that it is not the reality for majority of marriages. Sometimes, we need to challenge these unenlightened views regardless of the number of bible passages that are quoted. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your response. You capture a lot of my thoughts and I appreciate that you took time to write such a detailed reply. I think we long for "easy and simple" solutions to very complex problems and there is a tendency to assume that others share our experience. I do not understand how a person would generalize based on their own experience (a sample size of one). To use words like submission without understanding that, in different contexts it means different things is sad. Like you said so eloquently, it is easy for a marriage to be "good" when it hasn't faced many major challenges or turbulent times. Yet, it is important to understand that it is not the reality for majority of marriages. Sometimes, we need to challenge these unenlightened views regardless of the number of bible passages that are quoted. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteFor those people saying it takes a god fearing man not to cheat, lies! My dear it takes a DISCIPLINED man not to cheat u hear? People don't even begin to understand d word god fearing! Haven't u heard of men of God that cheat or brothers In church dt pple look up to cheat? A lot of people marry for the wrong reasons that's where most of this marital problems spring out from, u see a man married to a lady n dy are living in hell, buh dy get divorced he marries Anoda n is d best husband ever, so look before u leap! And as for submission, yeah treat a man like a king n he will treat u like a queen! Nagging wnt solve ur problem ladies, u have tried nagging it didn't work, try submission! For dse ladies always trying to show how smart n in control dy are, it's not gonna work, not for long anyway, men have huge egos, make them feel like they are smartest, men are easy to manipulate so just know when to press d right button, he is ur husband for god sakes learn how to handle him, when to soothe his ego, make him do what you want and stop complaining of how pathetic ur lives are, d ball is in ur court, do right by God he will see u through! Read his word concerning marriage n is shall be well with u.
ReplyDelete