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Dear Stella,
My name is Ugo and i am under a lot of pressure from family and friends to get married like now now especially my mother who's in the Village always reminding and comparing me to my childhood mates who are married with kids....I'm 31 and old enough to marry but the thing be say presently I'm not financially OK to provide for a woman, though I have a 3bedroom apartment and a job that isn't paying well but there are couple of things I'm working on which are yet to come to fruition ...
I just don't want to bring someone in and not be able to provide for her as much as I want and you know say once person don marry now children will start popping out.....
My mother and everyone around gives me sleepless night over this marriage thing when I have two elder brothers married with kids oooo.....i just say make I balance up financially small and they won't let me be.
Please is there any man in the house passing/passed through same marriage pressure ?.....how did you handle it? Your advise would be highly appreciated....thanks
I been think say Na only women dey face marriage pressure sef.
Thank you Stella for sharing with fellow blog addicts :-)
*Have you tried at least introducing yout girlfriend to them?Have you tried discussing your financial situation with the people putting you under pressure?
I missed d post on Dec.yeh am born in December,my birth day is 1212 and am looking forward to it
ReplyDeletedear poster,al u ve 2 do is hire me as ur gf,tel ur parents dat u nw ve a gurl u want 2 mari. It ll b 4n 4 moi n i ll do it 4 free coz i ll consider it as charity!
DeleteSorem wat if u later fall inlove,
DeleteNa so fun de tk enter serios biz oo!
So u won't lata com tlk say na ugo brek ur hrt!
Ugo you must be an Anambra guy, we don't marry until we have made all the millions. We don't like wify to suffer. LOL, on a more serious note oh boy go and marry, if I have half what you have right now I for don marry since. Marriage is a blessing it opens a lot of door but make sure u marry a girl that has what she's doing as per work or business. Besides it doesn't cost much to marry these days unless u want a society wedding. Hope u are not gay though.
DeleteEiyaa nwoke igbo nwannem. Sorry for d pressure its normal. The thing is u need to hv a constant girl that they see all d time at least to give them hope and get them off your back. Lol
DeleteNw u r getting a taste of wat we girls go thru, our own na frm 20 everybody will be giving u side eyes and askin u why u don't go out and see friends. Lmao. Mum is currently on my case, thank God I'm in a far town, na only fone call they fit use question you.
Ndo nna. Manage inugo
Lmao! Exactly o! @ Nelly. I'm in a far town too. So the pressure has reduced as its only phone calls. Lol
DeleteHe who finds a wife finds a good thing...u know the rest...the moment u choose ur partner every other thing falls into place. Our prayers for u remain ceaseless.
ReplyDeleteTanx CEO 4 dis comment, dere r sum specific blessings dat will never cum ur way until u get married, take a bold step & God ll bless u more
DeleteDon't mind him...let him be crying there you aint financially stable and you are living in a 3bed room flat...for what now
DeleteYou don't know that you and your wife can stay in a 2bedroom flat, what do you need 3bedroom for
I really love you mum for this she wants you to reduce your need to commit sin (furnication). More over if you marry some1 who has a job you guys would help each other...and also remember he that finds a wife obtains good things from God
Any make the right choice
My opinion sha...no ones biz
When his wife starts insulting him that he can't provide its ur type that will be the first to laugh
DeleteSuddenly everyone becomes a pastor(he that finds a wife). That's how poverty begins. He doesn't have a steady source of income n you telling him that garbish from your mouth. That's how you go about twisting the bible.
DeleteLol @ don davido...u kukuma make sense.
DeleteIt's not about getting a lady with a job,but also with a good heart,loves him and is also generous and ready to help him out else na ticket for insult una dey advise him to get.
DeleteBcos it's not all working women dat are gud for marriage only if the man is ready to become a footmat esp if she's really doing better than him!#some women wicked sha#poster shine ur eyes abeg!
Is your mum flogging you daily for not marrying?
ReplyDeleteYou dont have a problem jare, go and rest.
I hope you are not gay since that's the path most of your Igbo brothers are now towing.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your mum is hearing gay rumours about you.
Really? That's your advice?
DeleteEvie n urs is?
DeleteI dont like when men talk like women only God knw hw u were raised in d 1st place "donttellmenônsence"
ReplyDeleteThat thing is so false,thats the mentality of we africans,we think things will get better once we gett married or start having kids,smh.oga no mind them jare,abeg take your time! was once a victim and i blamed my self for rushing into it,and am 29!
ReplyDeleteIf u don't have enough to provide for a wife dn don't get married yet BUT that would depend on d kinda woman u wanna marry.. Do u plan marryin a housewife who would do nothing but lazy about nd spend money or a woman who has somfin doing, she would help financially and all d burden won't b on u.
DeleteWhatever decision u wanna take, be fast about it. Time z running out, u wouldn't want to b changing pampers when ur mates are grandpas already
mayb u shud heed dia advice nd get a wife she myt be a blessing to u n bring ol ur plans to fruition, or u cn continue working till thy kingdom com n neva get married.
ReplyDeleteP.s u dnt av to start popping kids immediately afta marriage
Abeg go marry.
ReplyDeleteEhen, tell them to marry a wife for you.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, most times, when people marry, their blessings will not just double, but multiply in a million fold, that is if you marry your friend. But if you dare marry someone else's wife, ur own don kpafuka. Just pray to get your own woman and watch how she will bring lots of blessings to you financially.
Marriage is not about money please.
Ugo,if you can take care of your girlfriend,then you comfortably take care of your wife...marry someone that has a job,start saving up....if you are the type that drinks 5bottles of beer everyday,cut it down to 2 and save the rest for diapers....don't wait till you are financially ok....most Women open doors for there husband after marriage....don't be scared,marriage is a good and sweet thing.and its good you marry early so u can grow with your children
ReplyDeleteDis was how my uncle keeps giving excuse s now he's 48 and still single, no child no wife. Mr poster u better rethink or try introduce ur girlfriend to ur family.
ReplyDeleteYour uncle is GAY!!
DeleteI am available for you if you serious m willing to b with you regardless your financial situation plz try me!
ReplyDeleteEverybody with different wahala. Atlist ur own better na wife dem say make u go marry na u dey complain. Wait till 40.
ReplyDeleteBiko, i am a woman and i support ur motion. Two guys i hv met recently, singing marriage in my ears, yet they still live in their parents house without savings. Small job and small car but u want to come and marry me on your parents provision for our wedding. I have sent them on a trip to mars, along with several seats.
ReplyDeleteOga, do as ur heart says. Cos when d wife is cheating they will abuse, yet they cant fend for her comfortably. And they want a toosh wife. Look at that one who came to complain here that his wife has lost her swag since they got married. Mschheew!! They think all of us are stupid.
Two things: 1. Wait until u feel buoyant enough. 2. Marry a village girl with low maintenance. (hehehe)
I support ur motion 100%. But no pass ur 35th bday, ok?
Its not here joor..don't bring LIB story here
DeleteKai! Na true oh. Stella no vex, biko.
Deletenetwrk dey disturb me...chaai
ReplyDelete@ugo...the Lord be with you
Hold on to GOD
GOD will make all things beautiful in HIS time
@Galore
I pray the network blocks ur line or moderm whatever permanently. I don tire to see 'hi and @'. Whew!
DeleteI pray the network blocks ur line or moderm whatever permanently. I don tire to see 'hi and @'. Whew!
DeleteI pray the network blocks ur line or moderm whatever permanently. I don tire to see 'hi and @'. Whew!
DeleteNa so we see ham o....Don't Click Here If You Hate Nasty Gists
ReplyDeletePoster pls do what stella advised
ReplyDeleteSit with ur family and explain to them that your not financially capable because as they c that u have roof and eat meals they might think your able
Marriage is not something to rush into
So u think 35 is ok but 31 is not? What's the guarantee that he will be financially stable to his taste then?at the risk of sounding like a Tribalistic Bigot what is it with Most Ibo men and late Marriage? Must u acquire everytin b4 settling down? Look for a decent girl and build ur dreams with, since u can afford a 3bedroom apartment u are not managing, instead of taking Ikom girl's advice, that Village girl will come to the city tush up and start playing with u after she sees the finer things of life.goodluck
ReplyDeleteForget that thing joor, we igbo's try to settle very well before marrying so that we can provide everything we need in marriage but not like u guys that marry with two thousand naira at the age of 18 and end up divorcing after two weeks cos u aint mature enough. Walks away jaree.
DeleteForget that thing joor, we igbo's try to settle very well before marrying so that we can provide everything we need in marriage but not like u guys that marry with two thousand naira at the age of 18 and end up divorcing after two weeks cos u aint mature enough. Walks away jaree.
DeleteMy dear dont mind those pushing u to marry, when unguys dont get along then u wll understand wat u did to yourself. I was forced into marriage nd I regret it everyday of my life.after a yr we've broken up cus I didnt feel right there. My dear marriage is not to be managed but enjoyed to the fullest. Take ur time nd choosely wisely . Choose a friend. All of u insulting rita Dominic and all I laff in swahli u know yn, theybare happier than a whole lot of married pple. D only problem is there better get it rght after waiting this long. Parents should stop pushing their kids in marriage. Alot live in regrets.
ReplyDeleteLucky u, u ve broken up, I wish I could leave mine to. I hate my marriage
Delete*Take brighter grammar* uw dear!
DeleteWhy ddo u hate your marriage please? You people make singles like me very afraid. Please share your story so we can be wiser
DeleteThere's a gal for every kind of man. Find one that will appreciate ur level in life and won't mind planning with you. If u already hv a gf marry her if she is willing and start life early. Money may not be there always but if u appreciate ur wife and make her life easy and fun by being a good and responsible man u won't regret marriage.
ReplyDeleteEKA
Pls what would a 31 year old man without wife and children be doing in a three bed room apartment, can u get a self contain first, then be wise in ur spendings, u must not be a billionaire b4 u get married
ReplyDeleteThank You !
DeleteBest comment so far.
DeleteThat is a good age to get married but if you really really don't want to get married then talk to your family. Children are very important and remember old age you will be all alone.
ReplyDeleteIt's not always about the money,if you got an understanding and supportive woman by your side and if you love her,just go on and marry her cos some dudes never really get to where they are meant to get to until they get married to d woman who's their destiny helper abi na helpmeet. Cut down on unnecessary expenses too.
ReplyDeletePray for God's direction
ReplyDeleteDont rush into something you would regret later, your mum has lived her life, its time to live yours. Things dont always get better when you get married, dont rush, if you feel u not ready wait till u r, cos if u marry and you start having problems they won't be there to help you..
ReplyDelete.I tink u shld get married..ur moda knws wat she z sayin,u don't nid 2 b rich b4 u get married..i'v seen a lot of men who afta dey got married experienced supernatural turn around..u might get lucky n giv birth 2 twins ..nd dia r several blessings attachd 2 ibeji..lol..btw..my bAIDAy is around d corner..11_12_13..yaaaayy..I nid baiday mates oo..'Lade
ReplyDeleteCool! U are my bday mate,I've been looking for one too.
DeletePls. I`m ready 2 settle dow. stella start a dating stuff in ur blog
ReplyDeleteDesperate times call for desperate measures :-(
DeleteDONT MIND THE STUPID MAN, AT 31 LIVING IN 3-BEDROOM APARTMENT AND PERHAPS, GALLIVANTING WITH LADIES UP AND DOWN
ReplyDeleteYes o, since I'm the only child of my mums, shez been pressuring me 2 bring my GF home, funny thing is I dnt hav any1, I need a girl that I'd be willing to prepare pounded yam for but d girls around r those dat deserve bread and big coke
ReplyDeleteIfa hear!
DeleteLmao...bread n orobo coke
Delete...yl you deserve plate of cold noodles and hot fanta bah? Abeg take several seats. This post isn't for kids.
DeleteI believe you are not a puppet alias mummy's boy that she controls anyhow she likes. My dear give ur self time atleast till u are 35 so that u can be more mature n bouyant enough as u like, before that time look for your friend and marry her, don't marry cos dem say cos wen e set pant sef them no go fit contribute. Lest I forget, dnt marry cos of looks ooh.
ReplyDeleteYou don't get married for people or your parent ........you marry for yourself if they want children give them one or two the rest will be history have you hear about baby daddy thing try it, it work for me lam now a proud dad of two beautiful children.Married is not for everyone.
ReplyDeleteThis your English tho!
DeleteU r so irresponsible depositn children like poo pity d ashawos u dey impregnate like he goat
DeleteMy friend abeg take your time oo, but don't wait too long oo, otherwise your friends go dey make you their jokes. You don't have to be married to have a child, find you a young lady, she doesn't have to be perfect, both of you do all the necessary blood test with some medical questions. Na one time you go fuck, some of them go get pregnant, some go take long, and it's not always because you rich, stables, educated or little education or this and that! Girlfriend and WIFE in capital, totally different! Marriage is not for everyone, you have to be READY to sacrifices 80% of your freedom, time and money, 100% patiences, forgiveness, love and sometimes you not go get the pussy for some months, but you still got to shows you care. Anyway, think about having a child ooo, if even you not married. Na you know ooo! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI got married to a guy whose financial capacity was just enough to rent 1 bed room flat, pay my bride price and do a low key wedding. We are not there yet but it gets better by the day. What's my point? Marriage is beyond money. Pple who got all the money are not the happiest in marriage. There is always a starting point. Marry for the right reasons. Money doesn't make any home better understanding does. U have a job that pays monthly, y not? My 2cents opinion
ReplyDeleteI love ur comment oluchi. Money doesn't make a marriage but be sure to marry the right lady. People who have married with a lot of money are divorced today.
DeleteDon't marry if you are not ready, please take your time so you don't end up being unhappy...EEE!!!
ReplyDelete@ Linda Eze Loves Billie Jean. He may not be gay. Many men abroad are like that. Even in Naija. Some of them are cursed. I know of one like that in his mid-40s but loves sleeping with other people's GFs and wives. How can God bless him with his own?
ReplyDeleteGuy,
ReplyDeleteI will tell you this blunt and straight.
be financially ok before you marry o! at any age, u must see wife marry. (that one no mean say u no go hustle quick settle down o)
the truth is, women these days need guys that can take care of them well otherwise hennnnnn....no offence to the women folk but some of us are terrible hence na so so fight una go de fight. respect level..zero, some may even cheat to meet up with needs (if she doesn't have a good job)
the best thing a man can do for himself is to be able to make his wife/children comfortable. This has a major toll on respect and your position as the man.
ngwanu....
Dear Poster: U hv a job, evn though U said it doesn't pay well. U live in a 3bed flat, which isn't needed yet. I don't think money is d issue here, the fact is that U hvnt met the right girl. When U meet her, U'll never complain, na ur friends & family go dey beg u 2 slow down. All d best in ur search.
ReplyDeleteBro,u ar aging.
ReplyDeletePlan a set time(age) for urself and work towards it.While doing that,fervently seek d author of marriage for UR OWN FLESH GÄN GÀÀÃN meanwhile open ur eye and apply wisdom.
I think u're 70% gd to go for marriage bt d WILL is nt there basically bcos (1)It's nt ur priority.(2)Most of ur goals hv nt been accomplished;u ar nt done to ur taste/expectation.¤Bt i blv where there's a wl,there's a way.God wl make a way for you and everyone on ths blog in Jesus Name!