I am a blog visitor and i am telling my story because i need sound advise...and that only happens here on Stella's blog.
I am a girl who is currently scared of true love, I met this guy in church about 5 years ago and from the very moment I met him there was this inner peace and feeling of knowing him,at the time he was involved with a girl though I was single, I dated someone along the line though it was more pressure from family and friends that didn’t work out.
The truth is the feelings I have for this guy is pure, real and genuine and I know from the depth of my heart that I truly love him wholeheartedly and the irony is that the feelings,attraction,bond and connection is very much mutual.Here is the problem
the feelings scare me a lot, they are deep and strong and really intense, the bond is out of this world.all I do is run from him when it feels like we getting close , the irony of this is that the times we spend together is bliss and peace(not talking of sex because we are still friends) and I cant keep my thoughts off him every time. I want him but am so scared, I have vivid dreams about us.Am scared I’ll drive him away because I feel he’s getting tired of my actions or inaction's.only my sister knows the depths that I feel for him.
the feelings scare me a lot, they are deep and strong and really intense, the bond is out of this world.all I do is run from him when it feels like we getting close , the irony of this is that the times we spend together is bliss and peace(not talking of sex because we are still friends) and I cant keep my thoughts off him every time. I want him but am so scared, I have vivid dreams about us.Am scared I’ll drive him away because I feel he’s getting tired of my actions or inaction's.only my sister knows the depths that I feel for him.
I have tried walking away but his thoughts are in my heart everyday.I've tried to sabotage this connection even though he’s been persisting in the past I feel he’s getting fed up and probably evaluating my actions.one other funny thing is I cant seem to wrap my head round other men,not saying I haven’t found good looking men but I don’t feel this way for anybody else . I've stopped communication with him for about 8 months now.am worried I will regret my actions . i would love to see people's experiences,the reason for this fear,the catalyst for this fear and how to deal with this fear.
I am really really scared of love..help me before i lose him....please!.
*Come on babe,are you sacred of true love or scared of getting hurt?if you do not take a risk how will you know?
Anyway you might just loose him if you dont sit up,8months is a long time,didnt he try to reach out to you?call him and probably discuss your fears..
Goodluck!
I am really really scared of love..help me before i lose him....please!.
*Come on babe,are you sacred of true love or scared of getting hurt?if you do not take a risk how will you know?
Anyway you might just loose him if you dont sit up,8months is a long time,didnt he try to reach out to you?call him and probably discuss your fears..
Goodluck!
OVOKO!!! I know see anywhere when u say d guy toast u connection and feeling naim dem dey chop. True love is not about how many butterflies dance around ur belle and how often u see him in ur dreams my sister.
ReplyDeleteAra nwanyi asaba lol. Ekwensu eromancia mammy water. Lwkd die. Chinwetalu agwu is a fuuny dude
DeleteLaughing really hard...you are funnier! You left out" akwami iko na nron, udene a yun nsin na alter.." you just made laugh.
DeleteParagon7ven.:D
Laughing really hard...you are funnier! You left out" akwami iko na nron, udene a yun nsin na alter.." you just made laugh.
DeleteParagon7ven.:D
You don't sound mature to me. GROW UP !!!
ReplyDeleteOr she should just find a convent around her and become a nun...
DeleteI don't understand this ur story! What are u scared of? If the feeling is mutual why nt give him a chance. He won't wait for u forever, so u better loosen yourself & give it a try!
ReplyDeleteYou don't sound mature to me. GROW UP !!!
ReplyDelete1) Is this infatuation or real love?
ReplyDelete2) Is this d 1st time u falling in love?
3) Have u been hurt before nd probably dtz y u holding ursef back, thinking u r scared of true love whilst on d contrary u are actually scared of being hurt again?
After answering these questions sincerely... And sure u r inlove.. Dn babes go 4 what u want o, some might say d guy should b d 1 to contact u 1st.I think otherwise. life is about taking risks.. If u don't take risks u won't learn. Mayb he doesn't even know how u feel about him.. Call him nd tell how u feel about him. Drz no harm in trying, u would blame ursef lateron if u do nothing about this.
There's harm a whole lott. Men like the chase. Get him to chase u no matter how short then you're good to go
DeleteAll I can say is take the risk and give it ur best shot, if it works out, gud for u and if it doesn't den u know u did ur best. Gudluck.
ReplyDeleteMe too I'm scared of loving again, aftr what girls have done to me, thinking my good looks and getting a job wil make dem stay, but dey keep turning me down at d end aftr spending so much, love is not 4 everyone joor..rev father things on my mind
ReplyDeleteWell may be u used ur looks and moni to entice them in the first place. Some guys cos thet lack confidence, they use money to entice females. At the end of the day, they don't get true love cos
DeleteMy friend leave this place osi so, ur character and attitude is priority.
DeleteFear, fear, fear,,
ReplyDeleteFears are one of those object that can destroyed a human heart easily,
remove a fear and take a risky ,
its better for a one to make a mistake he or she can learn from and correct there past mistakes,,than to be living and fellowing up another people mistakes to make a better living ahead,,
Annon Nov19 12:21pm.....did u read dis comment properly before sending it?? ur grammatical errors are too cheap for a child not to talk of an adult like u.......
DeleteWTF!!!!!!!
DeleteWalahi! I've neva commented on dis blog b4 but cldnt help but comment on this. Anon 12:21 ur comment left me rolling on d floor. Ko tie bo si rara;ur teacher(English most esp) should be jailed for doing this to u...lol. Oya back to the matter! d gal in question has no bearing yet cos she sounds soooo confused. She be like "God giv me my husband" and God be lyk "I've given you since but u always claim 'he's just a frnd" *my honest opinion* Debby
DeleteU don't need to tell him ur fears or how u r madly in love, ts better to show him than to tall him, stop running away, buh does it mean that for eight months, that uv not called him or communicated with him, he did not call back or communicate, are u sure d feeling is mutual, remember, first love is always like that, u feel he is ur world and everything, but are u sure he is worth it? I tnk u r being scared of being hurt, but if u don't try, u wnt know, try getn to him nd knw sup.
ReplyDeleteStella u are so good with relatiionship advice maybe ill soon send my own lol. back to the matter everytyn in ds life is a risk,bt there are some risk dt are worth trying out,giving someone ur hrt,ur soul is very risky bt if u truly love him like you said then it is worth the risk.just stop thinking abt d negative and be hopeful he might just be the one.
ReplyDeleteI have this issue as well. Whenever I feel I have started liking a guy too much, I push him away no matter how much I feel he loves me. I guess its because I've been hurt so much and I'm constantly trying to protect my little fragile heart :(
ReplyDeleteLove your guy. #looksaround# First to comment?
ReplyDeleteTake d risk!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand this story biko
ReplyDeleteU love him,he loves u but u haven't had sex cos he is ur best friend abi?
D feeling is intense,only ur sister knows how much u love him abi?
What advice do u need from ezewanyi?I go try read am again wether I go understand,but untill then
Na overfeeding dey worry u biko
Ezenwanyi I like ur coment u said it all my taught excatly bcos she should seek advice frm her sister first if she really sure of she was saying. Not true
DeleteHahahahahaha
DeleteWhat exactly do you want? This story has no head or tail! What exactly is the problem? What has he done to you?
ReplyDeleteI'm in love with my friend and he loves me even more. We are both single and I pray that very soon, he will make his intentions known. We have been friends for ages and I have never given him the smallest hint about how I feel. Just recently, we saw (we stay in different cities) and I just knew that its either him or nobody else. Worst of it all is that we have both had gfs/bfs in the past and broken up, and we are still as close as ever even after discussing everything (sexual and otherwise). Honestly, I'm at a point of no return. Somebody please give me hint on how to give him green light without jeopardizing our friendship.
ReplyDeleteWhen you guys are together,watxh romantic movies with lots of romantic scenes together. When he cracks a joke,touch him gently when you laugh. Always complement him about his looks and finally appreciate every little thing he does for you and make him feel needed.I hope this works.goodluck gal!
Deletei totally agree wit stella. u shldnt b scared of luv.true luv lik d one u feel, is a beautiful tin. dnt wait until its too late. i met dis guy dat rili liked me. i liked him, he was exactly d kind of man i wanted d only problem was dat he had a big tommy.i refused to have anytin wit him bcos of that. tot wat i was doing was rite. as tym went by i reliased i had lost him forever.
ReplyDelete????..If you love him why not talk to him and see if the feeling is mutual??? Nah wao!
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit confused here...u said d feeling is mutual then how come u are not in a relationship with this guy? Has he asked you out? My dear why are u scared that u will drive him away? You need to make up your mind and stop confusing urself, the guy, me and other blog visitors. If u love him then don't walk away from him
ReplyDeletePls keep runnin...ok...let someone else start seeing him nd maybe marry him...maybe daz wen u will learn frm ur mistakes!....rat!
ReplyDeleteAnnoying story! I will love him to date another in your face.
ReplyDeletePlease what's this? Really???? Mtshew
ReplyDeleteSmh and the 1st commenter too... Learners #wakapassmode
ReplyDeleteIf he cares that much he would ask u out. No the feeling isn't mutual how would unknow how he feels? As he asked u out. Some friendships get ruined when it turns to relationship. It's either u make ur feelings known or u move on
ReplyDeletei am the poster ,he asked me out subtly in 2011, we are both shy and the truth is i lied that i wasn't interested but funny enough he didnt stop being my friend, though i knew he wasnt happy and i kicked myself so much for lying.but i guess we both know that i lied he kept on. i have been hurt in the past but though i get scared of getting hurt by him i feel all my defenses are down ,u know as a woman u like to control your emotions but with him i feel all my defenses are down when i'm with him.bottom line am scared.
ReplyDeleteScared of what? Dat dude won't wait 4 u 4eva!! 8months n no communication,I hop 4 ur sake he hasn't moved on...........if truly wot u feel is love n not infatuation den ff ur hrt.
DeleteIt's alright to be scared but life is too short. You guys are still friends; take the initiative and be subtle as well in letting him know how you feel. Take a leap of faith and go for it. Good luck !
DeleteShare your endometriosis stories @ endochallenges.wordpress.com
If u Truely love him,give it a shot.at least u would have done what makes u happy no matter how short the relationship last,pursuit of happiness no matter how short lived is the ultimate! Btw I believe it will work cos love can mend all things into' place....hope he feels the same way too nyway.
DeleteMy dear "Perfect love casts out all fears" its somewere in †̥ђƺ bible... †̥ђƺ peace u feel is great, but until u can come to that point where there's no fear it just might be infatuation, or even one sided........
DeleteHunnie! Don't b scared of true love cos it sounds like u just scared! Pray bout it, ask God for direction and He will make all things work together for yr good! But u dey avoid am for 8 months? Choi
ReplyDeleteYou sound like my ex, afraid of commitment, hers is related to an absentee father though. You need to work on yourself and go for what you want, no matter how much it might hurt, liife is a riskk
ReplyDeletegirl after 8 months if he didnt try to reach you, you already lost him....call him now would only cause him to take advantage....p.s you wrecked the relationship, so dont blame him if doesnt take you serious anymore.
ReplyDeletethe guy likes you and you like him abi? if you are sure you like him and he likes you in that way then give him the green light? we all go thru heart break and its just a road we go thru in life.....if you dont take that step u wont get any experience.......take a step, even if it fails its all part of lifes lessons.....all the best
ReplyDeleteHow old are you? I'll be surprised if he hasn't find anybody in withing that 8 months. If you don't try, how would you know? I think Stella is right, you are only afraid of getting hurt if the relationship end up not working out. Pray about it.
ReplyDeletebabe find a convent around you and become a nun
ReplyDeleteIluminati, what is the meaning of all this convent advice uve been giving.Wetin concern vulture with barber.
DeleteY do most gals doll n scared. See in life if u don't try u will never knw and can never succeed. Pple have heart breaks because d expect d world to be perfect for them. Get it! It aint perfect so let to live with hard times, heart brks, failure etc and make a good tin out of a bad situation. If you need advice listen to Adele-'someone like you'. Give it a go, if it doesn't work out fine u be happy u did and learn plus d nice memories. But if u don't try...bet me for the rest of ur life u will regret it, always wandering what would have been.
ReplyDeleteNOTE: If you date him don't do it expecting it to lead to happy ever after. It won't. Do it because for now u wanna be happy. Shikena
100 likes @ ur comment.. Especially the last part.
DeleteBabe u don't ve a prob n u neva dated dat guy n he neva asked u out. He is jus on ur wishlist n maybe made a pass n u tot he is urs. Am sure he is having fun elsewhere trust me. Biko go look for ur own man! Lol
ReplyDeleteThen go for fake love if u r afraid of true love, u hav not contacted each oda for 8 months and u r still day dreaming ok o, 8months is enough 4 som pple to meet, date, court n even get married, I hop u r not on a longggg! Thing
ReplyDeleteHeee dear poster, hope u v checked ur jamb admission list, just asking. With the way u wrote this, I can assuredly say that either u are a kid, unorganised or confused n u need help asap cos I don't really know wot advice to gv u but from the little I understood I will say u r living in a world of fantacy, get over him n move on cos a useless bird at hand is not worth it, thousand full forest.
ReplyDeleteMy dear don't you think your a little young and immature to be talking about boys? Age is just a number, but from the way you sound, you are obviously not mentally matured enough! Give yourself a bit more time, it might just be a crush! Grow up a little more, then no one will need to tell you what to do when you meet someone you love!
ReplyDeleteVisit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.
Your love is not enough for you two. Calm down! As a christian, you should realise that its 'he that findeth a good wife'. A man should find you and not the other way round.Position yourself to be found.Don't make this man a victim.Right now you sound as scary as the stalker who almost killed Clint Eastwood in 'Play misty for me'. GoodLuck and in all thy getting,get understanding.Selah.
ReplyDeleteThis girl is lying. I know her very well as she hasn't said the full story. Don't be scared of saying the full story because you need proper advise
ReplyDeletethis story just sounds too freaking fake. why do i get the feeling someone just cooked up something due to boredom... maybe coz of asuu strike? or don't you think so too?
ReplyDeletelol, this poster sound like a kid cuz if na person wey get experience with rship, him no fit write this kind tin. nway poster,8 months is qute a lot of time but true love no b by this 1, just call him up sha, dont b scared, ok, heartbrk is normal
ReplyDelete8 months gone and soon it will be 8 years and you will still be scared of the unknown. true love takes luck not by hard work. people get divorce after 40 years of marriage so common what are we talking about. just do you best and let God crown your effort
ReplyDelete@SLEEKREEK.
ReplyDeleteyou have carry that your smelling tohtoh come out here to insult people right?I pity ur new man
GBAGAUN!! Anon 12:21.... every one bend down for the arrow......... A>>>>>>>R>>>>>R>>>>>>>O>>>>>>>W. English teacher ASAP wanted LMAO.... BIKO Which of the english teachers here will like to take the "Risky"? lol
ReplyDeleteThis is a continuation of my previous comment (btw, I am Anon 8:22am #59)
ReplyDeleteThanks #60 (Anon 9:50am) .... The comment of #8 (Anon 12:21) can "DESTROYED" my computer, hillarious comment mahn! No beef me sdker's ooooo, As I'm only FELLOWING other SDK readers comment-footstep LMAO. ...... #RunsAway#
You just need to give urself enough time to study the person u like at times infatuation just seems like love, i have been hurt three times by the same guy just because i decided to b the loving,faithful, dedicated girl and all i wanted was to love him, but at the end 3years. But i have faith in God that my own personal person nd prince would come soon. Plssssss dnt give up on love cos theres just this beautiful feeling of having sm1 dat has ur bk always
ReplyDelete